It's Harry's fifth year at Hogwarts, but he has more on his mind than school; starting fight clubs and discovering confusing back-stories are at the top of his priority list. A complete parody of the angstiest, caps-lockiest book in the series.

Evelyn eStrange is a messed up orphan girl who has no idea who her parents are. But how would she react if she knew that she was the only child that the Dark Lord and Bellatrix LeStrange left behind?