Hey !!!! thanks for checkin’ out my profile!!! If the picture has changed it will corraspond with an idea I have for a story k?!?!?

My fav anime/manga are Ouran High School Host Club, D Grey-man, InuYasha, D.N. Angel, Fruit Basket, Ranma 1/2, Tsubasa Chronicle, xxx Holic.

Female Comebacks

Man: Have I seen you someplace before?

Woman: Yes thats why I don't go there anymore

Man: Is this seat empty?

Woman: Yes and this one will be if you sit down

Man: Your place or mine?

Woman: Both. You go to yours and I go to mine.

Man: Hey baby, whats your sign?

Woman: Do not enter

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you

Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: Where have you been all my life?

Woman: Hiding from you

Man: If I could see you naked I'd die happy

Woman: If I saw you naked I'd die laughing

Man: So what do you do for a living?

Woman: I'm a female impersonator

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?

Woman: Unfertilized

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u next to i

Woman: Really? I'd put f and u together.

I saw this on somebody's profile and had to repost it!!!!

Things I'm Not Allowed to do at Hogwarts

1) The Giant Squid is not an appropiate date to the Yule Ball.*

2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office.*

3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.*

4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show you the pointy hat trick.*

5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar.*

6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination.*

7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms".

8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.*

9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month".*

10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand.

11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals.*

12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force".

13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work".*

14) I will not give you my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot.

15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it.*

16) I will not lock the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's in a room togther and bet on which House will come out alive.*

17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Kinghts of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast.

18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day".

19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways.

20) It is not nessecary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor.

21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort.

22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy.

23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling.

24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-ful".

25) I will not make, "OMGWTF" a spell.

26) It is not nessicary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate.

27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways.

28) I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor shall I insist that their colors indicate that they're "covered in bees".

29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.

30) I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "Told you I was Hard Core".

31) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.

32) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.

33) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion.

34) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends".

35) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends".

36) I will not give Luna Lovegood Coast-To-Coast AM transcripts.

37) Tricking a school House Elf to strip of it's clothing does not make it mine. Yes, even when I yell out "PWND!".

38) I will not lick Trevor.

39) Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labeled, "Firewhiskey".

40) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween.

41) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself too seriously.

42) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Nay have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Nay' from various directions.

43) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the voice of God.

FRIENDS: Lend you their umbrella
BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say 'RUN BEEP RUN!'

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS:Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS:Would be sitting next to you sayin "THAT WAS FRICKING AWSOME"

FRIENDS:Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your crap and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS:Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS:Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS:Will confort you when the guy rejects you
BEST FRIENDS:Will go up to him and say 'its becuase your gay isn't it?'

FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter
BEST FRIENDS:Will repost this crappp!

I found these on someone's profile and thought they really funny. If you thought they were funny and started laughing while reading them like I did, copy and paste them into your profile.

On a Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping. (that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos!
..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought...?)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because?...)

On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts:
"Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

On T-Rat (Military food):
Its not for Human Consumption, Animals and Military Use only... (Umnn yeah... isn't the military also human?)

I thought that these sayings/comments were funny and therefore awesome enough for me to add to my profile.

-Be OPTIMISTIC... all the people you hate are eventually going to die!!

-Sometimes I Wonder, "Why is that Frisbee getting bigger?" and then it hits me!!

-Boys: can’t live with em, and it’s illegal to shoot em.

-What happens if you get scared half to death... twice?

-I have PMS and a gun... now what were you saying?

-A friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "THAT WAS AWESOME, LETS DO IT AGAIN!!"

-They say, "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well, I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

-It's always the last place you look. Of course it is. Why the heck would I keep looking after I found it?

-When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and watch as the world wonders how the f you did it.

-When life hands you a lemon, squirt life in the eye and run like hell.

-Never knock on Death's door. Ring the doorbell and run away. He hates that.

-Silence is golden, but duct tape is silver.

-Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

-One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

-Boys are like trees, they take 50 years to grow up.

-Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

-When you get caught looking at him just remember he was looking back.

-You're laughing now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

-Some people are alive only because its illegal to kill them (and i know a few)

-He who laughs last thinks the slowest

-Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake

-Some people drink from the fountain of knowledge, others just gurgle

-If we can put one man on the moon, why can't we put them all there?

-If you don't like my driving stay off the sidewalk

-There's a light at the end of every tunnel, just pray it's not a train.

-Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

-When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

-Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.

-I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

-Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.

-You have a right to your opinions. I just don't want to hear them.

-I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

-OK, so what's the speed of dark?

-It's hard to be humble when you're as great as I am.

-Fight Crime: Shoot Back!

-Normal people worry me

-"Birdie, birdie, in the sky, why'd you do that in my eye? Looks like sugar, tastes like sap. OMG! IT'S BIRDIE CRAP!"

-The only reason that I talk to myself is because that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.

-"I did my homework! I just forgot to write it down."

-The optimist proclaims we live in the best of all possible worlds; the pessimist fears it is true.

-We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police.

-Eat right, exercise, die anyway.

-I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.

-Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

-They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it everytime I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?

-If you can keep your head while other people are losing theirs, you probably don't fully understand the situation.

-Don't steal. The government hates the competition.

-If at first you don't succeed, change the rules.

-Tell the truth and run.

-Life is like a box of chocolates - it's full of nuts.

-Truth is stranger than fiction, because fiction has to make sense.

-Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong.

-If you can't beat them, join them. Then take over.

-Enjoy every minute of life. There's plenty of time to be dead.

-When angry, count to ten. When very angry, swear.

-Education is important. School, however, is another matter.

-A single death is a tragedy. A million deaths is a statistic.

-Maybe this world is another planet's hell.

-Pineapples don't wear bathrobes. (Credit goes to my brother for being incredibly random.) (not my brother but the person who originally posted this)

-That was legen (wait for it... I hope you're not lactose intolerant because here it comes...) Dairy!!! xD

-Some people are like slinkies, they're good for nothing, but they sure make you laugh when you push 'em down a flight of stairs

-Don't follow in my footsteps, I walk into walls

-It's not a chocolate addiction, it's dementor protection!

-Einstein once said, "Only two things in life are limitless: space, and human stupidity and I'm not sure about space."

-Live dangerously: Run with SCISSORS!!!!!!! xD

-Want a cookie?

-If your clothes look like they were cut out of your grandma's carpet, then you probably shouldn't wear them.

-There is a fine line between crazy, and genius. I like to use that line for a jump-rope.

(Gonna use pen name srry)

1. YOUR REAL NAME: Krystal

2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME:(first 3 letters of real name plus izzle): Kryizzle? O.o

3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal):Black Cat

4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, and current street name): Joely Main, Hmmmmmm?

5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of mom's maiden name): Nitkrton... Wow

6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink): Blue Pepsi. BWAHAHAHAHHAH!!!!!!!!!!! What supervillian would take that seriously? XD

7. YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your mom's maiden name, 3rd letter of you dad's middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name):Rtoaety. Now. How do I pronouce that!

8. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mothers middle name): Ray,

9. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one your pets): Black Lily

10. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (food, and something that can go wrong) soooooo many choices, so vage.

11. YOUR PIRATE NAME: (color, pirate accessory) Black Hook

wow... (sweat drop) that was REALLY long well that's all for now thanks for reading!!!!