Name: Autumn

Age:If I give you my birth certificate you'll know.

Saying: It's not mean if it's true.

Favorite Quote: "Teenagers are the most misunderstood people, they're treated like children, and expected to act like adults."

Obsessions(current ones): Thor, Avengers, Young Justice, Supernatural, Doctor Who, Fullmetal Alchemist, Greek Gods, Percy Jackson and the Olympians

REQUESTS ARE EXTREMELY WELCOMED!!!!

I lurv books of every genre but espescially fantasy! I take criticism very seriously and try to meet readers expectations but nobody's perfect. Also, as you can infer from my pen name, I think the color orange rules!!! Anyways...um...if you can find the time pleeze read my story(ies).

A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy:Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love.

A 15 year old girl holds hands with her 1 year old son. People call her a slut. No-one knows she was raped at 13. People call a girl fat. No-one knows she has a serious disease which causes her to be over weight. People call an old man ugly. No-one knows he had a serious injury to his face while fighting for our country in the war. Repost this if you're against bullying and stereotyping. 95% of you won't.

I found this really funny so I posted it here:

Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts:

1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.

2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office.

3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.

4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick.

5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar.

6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination.

7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after me lucky charms."

8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.

9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month."

10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand.

12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force."

13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work."

14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot.

15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it.

16) I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive.

17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast.

18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day."

19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways.

20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor.

21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort.

22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy.

23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling.

24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-full."

25) I will not make, "OMGWTF" a spell.

26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate.

27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways.

28) I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bees."

29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.

30) I will not go to class skyclad.

31) I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "Told you I was Hard Core."

32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.

33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.

34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion.

35) I will not call the Weasley twins, "bookends."

36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends."

37) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak.

38) There is no such thing as a were-thylacine.

39) I will not give Luna Lovegood Coast-To-Coast AM transcripts.

40) Tricking a school House Elf to strip of it's clothing does not make it mine. Yes, even when I yell out "PWND!"

41) I do not weigh the same as a Duck.

42) I do not have a Dalek Patronus.

43) I will not lick Trevor.

44) Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labeled, "Firewhiskey."

45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween.

46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously.

47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions.

48) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet.

49) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice.

50) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God.

A poem about Child Abuse

My name is Lucifer

I am three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren’t ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can’t do a wrong

I can’t speak at all

Or else im locked up

All day long.

When im awake im all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren’t home

When my mommy does come home

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe ill just get

One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie’s bar.

I hear him curse

My name is called

I press myself

Against the wall

I try to hide

From his evil eyes

I’m so afraid now

I’m starting to cry

He finds me weeping

Calls me ugly words,

He says its my fault

He suffers at work.

He slaps and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And run to the door

He’s already locked it

And i start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken,

"I’m sorry!", I scream

But its now much to late

His face has been twisted

Into a unimaginable shape

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

O please God, have mercy!

O please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door

While i lay there motionless

Brawled on the floor

My name is Lucifer

I am three,

Tonight my daddy

Murdered me

Now i roam the underworld,

to help those in need.

I may seem evil,

but i'm not.

And if you read this

and don’t pass it on

I pray for your forgiveness

Because you would have to be

AOne heartless person

To not be effected

By this Poem

And because you are effected,

Do something about it!

So all i ask you to do

Is pass this on!

IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE

...／l、
（ﾟ､ ｡ ７
. l、 ヽ
..じしf,)ノ

This is Kitty. I got him from someone else. Copy and paste Kitty into your signature to help him gain world domination!

SUPPORT THE KITTY!

93 percent (or something like that) of teenagers and children would go insane if the Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus were about to jump off a skyscraper and die. Copy and paste this into your profile if you are part of the 7 percent that would grab popcorn, a chair, and scream 'JUMP! JUMP! JUMP' I'm part of that seven percent! Sorry for you Miley and JB fans!

When you were 5, your mom gave you an ice-cream cone. You thanked her by yelling at her that it's the wrong kind.

When you were 9, your mom drove you from swimming to soccer to soccer and one birthday party to another. You thanked her by slamming the door and never looking back.

When you were 10, your mom paid for piano classes. You thanked her by never coming to class.

When you were 12, your mom was waiting for a very important call. You thaned her by talking on the phone all night.

When you were 14, your mom paid for a month away at summer camp. You thanked her by not bothering to write a single letter.

When you were 16, your mom taught you how to drive her car. You thanked her by taking it every chance you got.

When you were 18, your mom cried at your high school graduation. You thanked her by partying until dawn.

When you were 20, your mom drove you to college. You thanked her by saying goodbye outside the dorm so you wouldn't have to in front of your friends.

When you were 26, your mom paid for your wedding. You thanked her by moving halfway across the world.

When you were 30, your mom fell ill and needed you to take care of her. You thanked her by reading about the burden parents are to their children.

Then on night she died quietly and everything you did came crashing down on your HEART!

Post this on your profile if you love your mom!

1) I NEED TO TELL YOU A SECRET (LO0K AT #5)
2) THE ANSWER IS (L0OK AT #11)
3) D0NT GET MAD (L0OK AT #15)
4) CALM DOWN DONT BE TICKED OFF ( L0OK AT #13
5) FIRST (L0OK AT #2)
6) D0NT BE THAT MAD (L0OK AT #12)
7) I JUST WANTED TO SAY HI...LOL
8 ) WHAT I WANTED TO TELL YOU IS...(THE ANSWER IS ON #14)
9) BE PATIENT (L0OK AT #4)
10) THIS IS THE LAST TIME IMMA DO THIS (L0OK AT #7)
11) IM NOT MAD WHEN IM SAYIN THIS (L0OK AT#6)
12) S0RRY (L0OK AT #8 )
13) D0NT BE GETTIN ALL HYPE (L0OK AT #10)
14) I D0NT KNOW HOW TO SAY THIS (L0OK AT #3)
15) YOU MUST BE REALLY TICKED OFF (L0OK AT NUMBER #9)
(Put it on your page if you laughed)

Girls Don't Realize These Things

I'm sorry
that I bought you roses
to tell you that I like you

I'm sorry
That I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry
That my body's not ripped enough
to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"

I'm sorry
That I am actually nice;
not a jerk

I'm sorry
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club

I'm sorry
I would rather make love to you then just screw you
like some random guy.

I'm sorry
That I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date

I'm sorry
That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry
If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorry
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry
that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care

But most of all

I'm sorry
For not being sorry anymore

I'm sorry
That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry
I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm Sorry
That I cared

I'm sorry
that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'

If You're one of the FEW girls with enough GUTS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things' I really wish that more guys were like this, and I bet a lot of other girls do too.

I found this HILARIOUS so I posted it here:

Professor Flitwick … does not know where Snow White is

Professor Snape … has no wish to get in touch with his ‘feminine side’.

Professor Lupin … has no need for a flea collar. Ever.

Professor Moody … the best ‘teaching’ Hoqwarts has seen in a while.

Professor McGonagall … does not take herself too seriously. It is a bad idea to tell her.

Professor Dumbledore … should be referred to as ‘Professor’, ‘Headmaster’ or ‘Sir’, not ‘Dude’, ‘My Leige’ or ‘Tim the Enchanter’.

Harry Potter … is more Emo than Draco Malfoy.

Draco Malfoy … disagrees.

Hermione Granger … has PMS and a wand. Any questions?

Ron Weasley … is very afraid.

Luna Lovegood … is perfectly sane, thanks very much.

Ginny Weasley … wants her Hogwarts toilet seat.

Fred Weasley … knows if he and his twin giggle at an idea for more than fifteen seconds, they may assume that it’s against the rules and therefore should not carry it out.

George Weasley … knows he and his twin will carry it out and are not remotely sorry.

Lily Evans … swears she is not in love with James Potter.

James Potter … doesn’t believe her.

Remus Lupin … would prefer less jokes about ‘his time of the month’.

Sirius Black … killed by drapery.

Andromeda Black … is going to marry a muggle – screw the consequences.

Bellatrix Black … is quietly going insane.

Narcissa Black … would like a new hairbrush.

Lucius Malfoy … does not like to be referred to as ‘Luscious Mouthful’.

Voldemort … does not think it would be funny if HP were to put on earmuffs and pulled out a mandrake in his presence.

Gryffindors … will jump off a cliff.

Slytherins … will push someone else off.

Hufflepuffs… will call five hundred others and build a staircase.

Ravenclaws … will get hold of a flying carpet.

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em

If you can't join 'em, bribe 'em

If you can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em

If you can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em

If you can't kill 'em, your screwed

1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex.
2. Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, and green, yellow?
3. Your first initial?
4. Your month of birth?
5. Which color do you like more, black or white?
6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.
7. Your favorite number?
8. Do you like California or Florida more?
9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more?
10. Write down a wish (a realistic one).
Are you done?

If so, scroll down

(Don’t cheat--)

THE ANSWERS
1. You are completely in love with this person.
2. If you choose:
Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.
Black: You are conservative and aggressive.
Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.
Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you love.
Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down.

3. If you’re initial is:
A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.
L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is soon to blossom.
S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.

4. If you were born in:
Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected.
Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but the memories will last forever.
July-Sept.: You will have a great year and will experience a major life changing experience for the good.
Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your soul mate.

5. If you choose...

Black: Your life will take on a different direction; it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.
White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it.

6. This person is your best friend.
7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime.
8. If you choose...
California: You like adventure.
Florida: You are a laidback person.

9. If you choose...
Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your love. And you are very reserved.
Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday!

Try Not To Cry:

Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,
He told his friends that it was cool,
And when he pulled the trigger back,
It shot with a great, huge crack.
Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!
When I went to school that day,
I never said good-bye.
I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.
When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,
And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.
Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,
And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.
And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,
And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best
Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest
Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,
And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass
Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though, deserves this.
But Mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.
And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try
I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.
Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,
But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest
When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could
please listen to me if you would,
I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,
I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.
But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,
Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry to cancel the date.
I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true
And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you."

In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech Students Who Were Lost, and the 13 people lost in the American Civic Center School.

First..get a pen and paper. When you actually choose names, make sure it's people you actually know and go with your first instinct.

Scroll down one line at a time...and don't read ahead or you'll ruin it!

1. First, write the numbers 1 through 11 in a column.

2. Then, beside numbers 1 and 2, write down any two numbers you want.

3. Beside the 3 and 7, write down the names of members of the opposite sex.

4. Write anyone's name (like friends or family...) in the 4th, 5th, and 6th spots.

5. Write down four song titles in 8,9,10, and 11. (Go with your instincts!)

6. Finally, make a wish.

And now the key for the game...

1. You must tell (the number in space 2) people about this game.

2. The person in space 3 is the one that you love.

3. The person in 7 is one you like but can't work out.

4. You care most about the person you put in 4.

5. The person you name in number 5 is the one who knows you very well.

6. The person you name in 6 is your lucky star.

7. The song in 8 is the song that matches with the person in number 3.

8. The title in 9 is the song for the person in 7.

9. The tenth space is the song that tells you most about YOUR mind.

10. 11 is the song telling you how you feel about life

NOW...post this bulletin (don't reply) within the hour. IF you do, your wish will come true...

If you don't, it will become the opposite.

For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic

I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz

I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.

I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.

I'm an ATHEIEST, so I WILL go to hell

I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST have no values or morals

I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.

I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.

I take (or used to take) ANIT-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be CRAZY.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.

I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.

I'M NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire, screaming like a savage.

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.

I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.

I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.

I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals

I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".

I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!

I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.

I have BIG BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.

I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.

I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.

I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO

I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.

I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited

I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13

I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy

I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy

I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas

Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction

Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.

I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.

I'm SINGLE, so I MUST be ugly

I'm a SKATER, so I MUST do weed and steal stuff

I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks

I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.

I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.

I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.

I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA

I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect

I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black

I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil

I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.

I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.

I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob

I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.

I got a CAR for my birthday, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon

I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.

I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.

I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.

I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.

I don't like the sun, so I MUST be albino

I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.

I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.

I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.

I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.

I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.

I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.

I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.

I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.

I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.

My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.

I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.

I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.

I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.

I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.

I'm a TEXAN, so I MUST ride a horse.

I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist

I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.

I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.

I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.

I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.

I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.

I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep

I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.

I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent

. I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.

I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.

I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.

I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.

I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.

I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!

I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.

I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.

I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE

I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser

I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy

I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.

I CHAT so I MUST be having cyber sex

I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan

I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion

I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.

I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.

I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.

I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.

I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.

I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.

I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.

I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.

I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.

I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED.

I DON'T CURSE (much), so I MUST be an outcast.

I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish.

I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE

. I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.

I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.

I am STRONG, so I MUST be stupid.

I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times

I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.

I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.

I'm NOT a CHRISTAIN so I MUST be converted.

I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.

I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.

I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist.

I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake

Love vs. Sex

A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year.

She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger.

When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it.

However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her.

She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection.

Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her.

When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there.

Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep.

Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station.

She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story.

The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him.

She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before.

When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed.

The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her.

She asked if they would ask the man one question.

Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her.

When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her."

Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God?

Repost this as Love vs. Sex if you truly believe in God...

This is for people against racism.

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, when I grew up I was BLACK, when I'm sick I'm BLACK, when I go into the sun I'm BLACK, when I'm cold I'm BLACK, when I die I'll beBLACK. But you sir, when you're born you're PINK, when you grow up you're WHITE, when you're sick, you're GREEN, when you go in the sun you turnRED, when you're cold you turn BLUE and when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored? Post this on your profile if you hate racism.

Month one

Mommy I am only 8 inches long but I have all my organs. I love the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it I wave my arms and legs. The sound of your heart beat is my favourite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy today I learned how to suck my thumb. If you could see me you could definitely tell that I am a baby. I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though. It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy I'm a boy!! I hope that makes you happy. I always want you to be happy. I don't like it when you cry. You sound so sad. It makes me sad too and I cry with you even though you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy my hair is starting to grow. It is very short and fine but I will have a lot of it. I spend a lot of my time exercising. I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes and stretch my arms and legs. I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today. Mommy, he lied to you. He said that I'm not a baby. I am a baby Mommy, your baby. I think and feel. Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again. I don't like him. He seems cold and heartless. Something is intruding my home. The doctor called it a needle. Mommy what is it? It burns! Please make him stop! I can't get away from it! Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy I am okay. I am in Jesus’ arms. He is holding me. He told me about abortion. Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just...

One more heart that was stopped.

Two more eyes that will never see.

Two more hands that will never touch.

Two more legs that will never run.

One more mouth that will never speak.

Repost if you think abortion is wrong.

You say BABY PINK

I say BLOOD RED

You say HANNAH MONTANA

I say PARAMORE

You say ZAC EFRON

I say ROBIN

You say RAP

I say ROCK

You say Im WEIRD

I say YES I AM

Don't steal. The government hates the competition.

If at first you don't succeed, change the rules.

Tell the truth and run.

Smile! It makes them wonder what you're up to.

Friends come, and friends go, but enemies accumulate.

Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.

Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make ye mad.

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.

Life is like a box of chocolates - it's full of nuts.

If you can't beat them, join them. Then take over.

The difficulty is not so great as to die for a friend, as to find a friend worth dying for.

When angry, count to four. When very angry, swear.

Enjoy every minute of life. There's plenty of time to be dead.

Education is important. School, however, is another matter.

Feel honoured to serve such a leader who loves us...

If you believe in the tiune God, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost

then copy and paste this in your profile

If you ignore him, in the Holy Bible, Jesus says...

"If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my Father in Heaven..."

UGH! It’s not that I hate you... um... lemme put it this way, if you were on fire, and I had some water, I’d drink the water.

Guns don't kill people. People kill people. Well I think guns help because if you just stood around saying "BANG" it wouldn't do much.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

When.I.Read.Stuff.Like.This.The.Voice.In.My.Head.Takes.Pauses.

Keep saying those words. My head is held high. You wanna bring me down? I dare you to try.

If you ask me a question I don’t know, I’m not gonna answer.

It doesn’t matter what it is, it’s automatically cool if it glows in the dark!

Hi, I’m a girl. I don’t spend hours on hair and make-up in the morning. I don’t always wear the color pink. I don’t flirt with every guy I meet. I don’t think it’s cool to fail a test. I thank you when you compliment me instead of denying it and putting myself down. Yes, I exist. Have fun meeting all the other girls who do the exact opposite.

When I say I won’t tell anybody… my best friend doesn’t count.

Some people were dropped as a baby…. You were clearly thrown at a wall.

Every time I see the word “Explain” on a test, I die a little inside.

People will hate you, rate you, shake you, and break you. But how strong you stand is what makes you.

Laughing so hard, no noise comes out; so you just sit there clapping like a retarded seal.

Dear Teacher, I understand you have to talk to the person in front of me but could please remove your fat butt from my face? Thanks.

I'm sorry I don't have glamorous hair, perfect skin, the straightest teeth, or the best body. I'm sorry I don't doll myself up all the time and that I wear those baggy shirts around the house. I'm sorry that I like to eat junk food once in a while and I'm sorry that I'm not a fitness guru. I'm sorry I'm not like some of the other girls. But the funniest thing of all is that I'm not sorry at all.

Teenagers: the most misunderstood people who are treated like children but are expected to act like adults

Okay, now I'm going to ask a question millions of girls all over the world want to know... boys, when did it become a high fashion to show us your stupid ugly boxers?!

I don't care if you're black, white, striaght, bi, gay, lesbian, short, tall, fat, skinny, rich, poor, catholic, or jewish. If you're nice to me, I'll be nice to you. Simple as that.

According to parents, we're too young for love, too old for fun, too smart to play dumb and too immature for certian movies. It's no wonder teens are so rebellious! There's nothing else to do!

I wish life was like a musical. and in the middle of math, i could just jump out of my seat, throw up my papers and start singing. And then the whole math class would pull this dance routine out of their ass, and we would all know the song we were spontainiously making up... then sit down like nothing happened.

No matter how old you are, no matter how much of a baddass you think you are, if a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it.

I will only stop being your friend when a mute guy tells a deaf guy that a blind guy saw a legless guy walk on water.

Learn the rules so you know how to properly break them

You have enemies? Good. That means you stood up for something sometime in your life.

Those are my principals, and if you don't like them... ... well i have others.

I'm original and unique. I'm my own person and if you don't like me... screw you. I'm awesome.

I love irony. You know what's ironic? How the people who know the least about you have the most to say.

War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.

Dear McDonald's Cashier, Stop looking at me like that. Last time i checked, there were no age limits for Happy Meals. Sincerely, Don't Forget The Toy

I'm sorry you don't like me. I'm sorry you think I suck. But most of all, I'm sorry I don't give a crap.

Flying is easy, just throw yourself at the ground... and miss.

It's a beautiful day! Now watch some idiot screw it up -_-

If you're gonna embarrass yourself, do it right!

Get the facts first, you can distort them later.

Is it just me or does everything seem funnier when you’re suppose to be quiet?

Emotional without all the emo... it's called being human.

Dear Humans, Remember when your parents told you we were more afraid of you, then you were of us? We're not. Sincerley, Spiders

Me: Can I use the bathroom?

Teacher: I don't know, can you?

Me: When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher, you would know that. Oh well, i guess I'll do it your way. May I go to the bathroom?

Teacher:...

Everyone thinks a girl's dream is to find the perfect guy... pfffttttt! Yeah right! Our dream is to eat without getting fat!

Children don't care whether a person is a girl or a boy, black or white, pretty or ugly, different or the same. They will be friends simply because they get along. Children don't care about politics or religion. And yet they say adults are wiser.

Anyone popular is bound to be disliked.

i like pom

30 things to do in an elevator!

1. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead while muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"

2. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.

3. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there."

4. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.

5. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

6. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

7. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

8. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go 'plink' at the bottom.

9. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"

10. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, no, not now, bleeped motion sickness!"

11. Meow occasionally.

12. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.

13. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

14. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.

15. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to the other passengers 'through' it.

16. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"

17. Say "Ding!" at each floor.

18. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push the red buttons.

19. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

20. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your 'personal space.'

21. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

22. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

23. Wear 'X-Ray Specs' and leer suggestively at other passengers.

24. Stop at every floor, run off the elevator, then run back on.

25. Make farm animal noises

26. Start talking to the wall

27. Carry a stuffed animal with you and talk to it

28. Carry a small object and start petting it while saying "My precious." in a demonic voice then laugh like a maniac

29. When one person is on ask them if they want to pet your cat and then purr at them.

30. Rip your clothes and stumble on to the elevator and tell them that you just escaped from the mental ward and then laugh like a maniac

10 Signs Ur a Castiel Girl

1. The phrase "Touched by an Angel" Has a whole new meaning for you.

2. Trench coats make u giggle

3. You want to smack Dean in the back of the head in the Brothel scene in "Free to be You and Me"

4. You want to hug Castiel in the Brothel scene in "Free to be You and Me" and after he finds out God won't help in "Dark Side of the Moon"

5. U laugh when u see alcohol

6. When you see Biblical pictures of angels you shake your head and think "That's not what they look like"

7. Angel Food Cake makes you smile

8. You use Assbutt as an insult on whoever you can as much as you can.

9. References to narcotics, orgys, virgins, "that's how i roll", voices in cell phones, flatbread, not ordering from the menu, whoopie cushions, new FBI agents, pretty angel boys, action figures, brothels, Glenn Close, "I am very surprised" and "not incontinent", White Castle cheeseburgers, buses, lying, and mass quantities of alcohol freakin funny and the ppl around u dont get it.

10. You find the phrase "I'm the one that gripped you tight and saved you from perdition" slightly hot. (more like seriously drop dead sexy! ;D)

10 Signs You are a Dean Girl

1. Quarters turn you on

2. You always get the extra cookie

3. Gym shorts make you smile funny

4. You call anyone you know named Sam Sammy

5. You laugh when a Sammy Girl gawkes at the screen during 'Heart'

6. You get very offended when someone tells you to go to Hell

7. You know more about '80s hairbands now than you did in 2005

8. When you see a Prius, you try not to cry

9. Any reference to cassette tapes, Doublemint Twins, cats in lockers, the fabric softener teddy bear, purple nurples, busty asian beauties, Matlock, The Shining, Silence of the Lambs, Oktobe"rfest, Angel Food cake, flashlight manning, being so awesome, Cialis, sorority girls, pig in a poke, strip-o-gram, necrophelia, Batman, Gumby and/or Pokey, Ken Doll, Blue Steel, Silent Night, Teddy Bears, Mr. Rogers, the Cheif, handsome devils, REO Speedwagon, Eye of the Tiger, Bon Jovi, Die Hard, Do overs, scissors, Yorkies, Asia ("Heat of the Moment"), Chuckles, the full cowgirl, Fudge, slow dancing aliens, Manburger Helper, dog for dinner, minature philly cheese steak sandwhiches, PAs, being adorable, Demi Moore, Swayze'd, Obi Wan Kanobi, frisky women, clowns and/or midgets, Astronauts, howler monkeys, airplanes, Smith and Wesson, right?!, asshats, Paris Hilton, womens underwear, virgins, brothels, creaky old guys, Dr. Sexy, sitcoms, Japaneses Game shows, CSI, bigger mouths, Knight Rider, boredom, hot nurses, ham, cowboy boots, PUDDING!, howdy partner, "I Wuv Hugz", loving the devil, Cupid, make you laugh and no one else around you knows why.

10. Whenever you see a semi you flinch

I am BOTH of these!!!! xD

I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

And then Buffy staked Edward. The end.

I slay demons with Shadowhunters on weekdays, at weekends I solve crimes with Skulduggery Pleasant, my spare time is spent in the FAYZ and in the summer holidays I compete in the Hunger Games. Aren't you so jealous?

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history

What happens if you get scared half to death twice? ... oooh the possibilities

Life is like a movie. If you are sad: drama. If you are afraid: suspense. If you are angry: action. When you look in the mirror: horror. Now you are smiling: that's comedy.

Genius by birth, slacker by nature

Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring so I go back to being me.

Things to do today: 1. get up, 2. survive, 3. go back to bed

I did not hit you... I simply high-fived your face.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you... but its still on the list.

Some people blame our generation, but have they ever stopped to think who raised us?

What's this thing called "normal?" Is it contagious?! OMG!! Don't touch me! I might catch your "normal!"

I'm so broke I can't even pay attention

Never go to bed angry. Stay awake and plot your revenge.

Do it today. It might be illegal tomorrow.

The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot/should not do.

It takes skill to trip over flat surfaces.

The tooth fairy teaches children that they can sell their body parts for money.

Warning: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really really scary. Whose name, and/or species you can't remember

Dear Santa, I can explain...

When nothing goes right, go left.

I'm not random, you just can't think as fast as I can.

I'm not deaf, I'm just ignoring you.

Procrastinators unite! ...tomorrow

Would you like a side of epic to go with that fail?

Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver

It's a beautiful day. Now watch some idiot screw it up.

Welcome to the dark side. Are you surprised we lied about having cookies?

Do not interrupt me when I am talking to myself!

Thank you captain obvious

hahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...no

I can only please one person a day. Today isn't your day. Tomorrow doesn't look good either.

Homework hurts trees

Everything good in life is either illegal, fattening, or "bad"

I dream of a better tomorrow... where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned.

In case of emergency, run like hell

Warning: excessive exposure to analytical studies may cause you to behave like a robot and face difficulty in acquiring a life partner.

To be old and wise, you must first be young and stupid

Don't even try to outwierd me

You're now aware that you can't say "Irish wristwatch."

I hate it when the little voices argue with my imaginary friends.

"Latte" is italian for "you paid too much for that coffee"

The police never think it's as funny as you do

I'll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter.

Why yes, I do spontaneously break out in ninja moves

I promise I will never steal your thunder like Michael Jackson stole Farrah Fawcett's

Poke me. I dare you.

Friends are the universe's way of apologizing for family.

Remember all those times we rode in my car and I almost killed you?

Dude... we need our own reality show.

Anyone ever notice that "studying" is "student" and "dying" put together?

Beer; now cheaper than gas. Drink... don't drive.

My whole problem is my lips move when I think

I am fluent in sarcasm

I trust you've thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.

We'll be the old ladies causing trouble in the nursing home.

I would waste litres of my precious and expensive gas just to visit you.

You run over one person with your car -and its not even one of the popular ones- and everybody gets on your case!

Yeah, okay, yes, yeah, yeah, okay, yes, I know, okay, yeah, BYE MOM!

Dora the explorer is soooo an illegal immigrant.

F.I.N.A.L.S: (F#ck I Never Actually Learned This Sh*t!)

I don't care if you're a gangsta, pull up your pants please

When I was your age, pluto was a planet

I don't smoke. There are way cooler ways to die.

Americans play hockey, but Canadians are hockey players

hey... hey... sup?... nm, u?... nm... end of convo.

But I am Le Tired!

I'd call you a girl, but that would be an insult to our superiour gender

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was going to blame you

If a robot does the robot, would it still be called the robot, or just dancing?

Drink coffee; do dumb things faster with more energy

Friends buy you lunch. Best friends eat yours

I have not yet begun to procrastinate

Yogurt; it's not bad, it just tastes that way.

Dear math, I dont want to solve your problems, I have my own.

If you're gonna be two-faced, sweetie at least make one of them pretty.

All work and no play means you will die in seven days... dun dun duuun.

I run with scissors; it makes me feel dangerous.

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today; its already tomorrow in Australia.

Kids are the future. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

They say "guns don't kill people, people kill people.' Well, I think the gun helps, cause if you just stood ther and yelled BANG, I dont think you'd kill too many people.

So, if guns kill people, can I blame misspelled words on my pencil?

People are like slinkies; basically useless, but so amusing to watch fall down the stairs.

Children in the dark make accidents. Accidents in the dark make children.

Pickles are cucumbers soaked in evil.

Closed minds always seem to be connected to open mouths.

Yeah, I'm a loser, but the coolest loser you'll ever meet.

Cute but psycho- things even out.

Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

I am generally very brave. Today, I just happen to have a headache.

I find 'good morning' a contradiction of terms.

I've heard that it's possible to grow up. I've just never met anyone who's actually done it.

No I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me.

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

'It's always the last place you look'. Well of course it is! Why the heck would I keep looking after I found it!

When Life gives you lemons, throw them back, because I mean really, who likes lemons?

When Life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.

When Life gives you lemons, squirt them in Life's eye, and see how much Life likes lemons then.

When Life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!

I would be more scared if you were aiming for the person next to me.

I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.

Life is all about ass. Everyone's either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, trying to get a piece of it, or simply is one.

Why do people always say life is short. Life is the longest damn thing you can do.

Love your enemies. It pisses them off.

Oops! Did my sarcasm hurt your feelings?

I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out.

I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind! But not my brain- I need that.

Practice makes perfect. But nobody's perfect, so why practice?

Nobody is perfect. I am nobody.

Life isnt passing me by; it's trying to run me over.

Between two evils, I always pick the one I've never tried.

Shit happens. But mostly to me, so dont worry.

Shut up voices! Or I'll poke you with a Q-tip again!

Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door.

Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried skydiving without a parachute... Or maybe they did. I mean we never really met whoever said it, did we?

Smile; it makes people wonder what you're up to.

I talk to myself because my answers are the only ones I accept!

Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap... you decide.

I was uncool before uncool was cool.

Why get high when there are other ways to achieve a smug sense of superiority- sarcasm: my anti-drug.

Caution: I tend to make wierd faces.

I like the idea of karma; you can go around and do bad things to people all day assuming they deserve it.

I used to see a shrink... until she said life isn't for everyone.

You have one advantage over me: you can kiss my ass. I cant.

I can resist anything but temptation.

Excuse me, have you seen my sanity? I think I lost it.

All those who have telekenesis, raise my hand.

Why do they steralize the needle for lethal injections?

How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on.

If superman is bulletproof, why does he duck when you throw the gun at him?

If asteroids are in the hemisphere, and hemroids are on your ass, why are they named the way they are?

I live in my own little world- but it's ok, they know me there.

Money can't buy happiness. It just buys everything you need to achieve it.

Money isn't everything. There's Visa and Mastercard too.

Three wise women would have stopped to ask for directions, got to the stable on time, helped deliver the baby, cleaned the stable, cooked the dinner, and then there would have been peace on earth.

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide.

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my super powers.

Don't call me emo, or I'll cry big juicy tears of blood and pain. And then I'll die and it'll be ALL YOUR FAULT.

Your wierdness is creeping out my imaginary friend.

Tell the truth and run.

If electricity comes from electrons, where do you think morality comes from?

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli', meaning many, and 'tics', as in the bloodsucking creatures?

If everything seems to be going well, you've obviously overlooked something.

You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

Friends will always be like 'well you deserve better'. Best friends will go up to him, infont of all his friends, and say 'it's because your gay, isnt it?'

A good friend will always bail you out of jail. A best friend is sitting there next to you in the cell saying 'man that was fun!'

Everything in this room is eatable, even I'm eatable. But that is called 'cannibalism' my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen,xGabriellaxBoltonx, xEarlySunsetsOverMonroevillex, Smartest Girl In The World,'rEd RoSe-StArFiRe-RoSeFiRe', Zwergschnauzer, dablackfox101, mushroomcloudslooklikebroccoli, Really Really Long PenName Guy, Invader Crystal, Invader Crystal 2, AzrielEver, MyLittleBird, OrangeRules Autumn

If you are obsessed with fanfiction, copy this to your profile.

If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get like two reviews, copy this into your profile.

If you think up stories faster than you can write them and are too lazy to do that for most of them anyway, copy this to your profile.

If you easily finish one novel a day, copy this onto your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are random and don't care, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If your friends can scare you by saying the word pink or cute wittle bunny rabbits copy this to your profile.

If you have ever annoyed people just for fun copy this to your profile.

If you've ever felt like something was watching you and then turned around to find nothing, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone their not, copy and paste this into your profile.

EMBRACE THE WEIRDNESS! If you embrace the weirdness, then copy and paste this onto your profile

Too many teenagers have smoked or tried Marijuana, if you haven't, put this in your profile

If you want to see the world someday, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile.

If several inanimate objects hate you post this on profile.

93 percent of teens would have an emotianal breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're part of the 7 percent who would say, "What was your first clue?" Copy and paste this into your profile

If you think the Cocoa Puff Turkey Bird thing should go to rehab, copy this into your profile.

If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach, The O.C., or The Hills, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are against racism COPY THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE. The only race is humanity.

REASONS TO JOIN THE DARK SIDE (If you wish to join add this list to your profile):

1. We have cookies
2. Meet the recruitment bunny!
3. You get a cool dark cape that covers your whole body!
4. You get a really cool crazy laugh! Practice with me people: MWA HAHAHAHA cough cough!
5. You get to walk out of shadows mysteriously and freak out the good guy!
6. One word: UNDERLINGS! Someone to get things for you when you're too lazy to do them yourself... Now that's the life
7. Money Money Money : Ever notice that we are usually much richer than the good guys?
8. Does there have to be a reason? The dark side is fun!

I was walking around in a store. I saw a cashier hand this little boy his money back saying
"I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."
Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''
The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''
Then she asked him to stay there for 5 minutes while she went to look around. She left quickly.
The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.
Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.
"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for this Christmas. She was so sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."
I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus will bring it to her after all, and not to worry.
But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."
His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''
My heart nearly stopped.
The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."
Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me
"I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me."
"I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."
Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.
I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "What if we checked again, just in case you do have enough money?''
"OK" he said "I hope that I have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.
The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"
Then he looked at me and added "I asked yesterday before I slept for God to make sure I have enough money to buy this doll so that mommy can give it to my sister. He heard me!''"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''
"My mommy loves white roses."
A few minutes later, the old lady came again and I left with my basket.
I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.
Then I remembered a local newspaper article: 2 days ago, which mentioned of a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car, where there was one young lady and a little girl.
The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-assisting machine, because the young lady would not be able to recover from the coma.
Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young lady had passed away.
I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before burial.
She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.
I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever. The love that this little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.
Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message.
2) Ignore it as if it never touched you, have a heart.

You know you're obsessed with Young Justice when:

You know every characters background story

Every time you get bored with a convo, you either start eating some form of food or you disappear and give a manical laugh

When you start talking like Kaldur

When you start watching the 'black and white' channel with a blank expression like Superboy

When you can't cook anything/burn cookies or other source of food constantly/on purpose

When Young Justice was missing without a new episode, you had with-drawls and ran around your house yelling and having an emotional breakdown, begging your sibling to tell you "it isn't so"

When the new episode came out, you had another emotional breakdown and hugged the TV screen, yelling, "OMG, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?"

During YJ's 'vaca', you resorted to watching MAD or other brain killing show

1. Put your iTunes (or iPod) on shuffle

2. For each question, press the next button to get your next answer

3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

1. WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO

Pumped Up Kicks - Foster The People

2. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?

Get Back - Ludacris

3. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?

Animal - Neon Trees

4. WHAT IS 22?

Brotherly Love - Gred and Forge

5. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?

Two Receivers - Klaxons

6. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

The Bad Touch - The Bloodhound Gang (omg! *blushing like crazy*)

7. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?

Good Life - One Republic

8. WHAT DO YOU WANNA BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?

Heart Attack - Smudge Candy (local band, my friend is in it)

9. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

As Above So Below - Klaxons

10. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINNK OF YOU?

Never Too Late - Three Days Grace

11. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?

Need You Now - Sparks the Rescues (Punk Goes Pop [on youtube])

12. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?

Monster - Skillet

13. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBIE/INTEREST?

S&M - Rihanna (lmao!)

14. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?

Totally Fucked - Jonathan Groff (from the musical Spring Awakening)