From muggle programmer to magical assassin, I can't say it was a career change I was expecting. Still, life as a wizard is loads better than slaving away as a corporate drone, so I suppose I really shouldn't complain that it comes with a psychotic mother, prodigiously murderous father, homicidal relatives and obsessive international bounty hunters...Ok, I'm complaining. Just a bit.

He winds up in an afterlife different from his expectations, in a body that's oddly familiar. When he's shoved into an office filled to the brim with paperwork, he naturally assumes he's in hell, and the crazy voice in his head backs up that assumption. Good thing he's good at adapting. [SI as Hisagi]

His body was coiled with a killer's subtleness, and Reborn could have imagined almost anyone other than Skull to display that sort of mephitic skill.(Or the time I pulled a Winter Soldier on Skull's ass.)

Every witch and wizard are born with a soulmate, some just take longer to find.

So Snape's Patronus is a doe because he's in love with Lily, whose Patronus is a doe because she's in love with James, whose Patronus is a stag... Er, wait a moment, what was that again?

Kakashi was going to murder sensei's child. Violently. (wherein dealing with the village prankster is an S-rank mission in its own right, and Kakashi has no idea how this has become his life.)

"Marry me?" Tsuna asked Kyouya. Or the fic where Tsuna knows Kyouya's weakness and ruthlessly takes advantage of it.

Hermione is tasked with writing an historical essay on the Final Battle for her favourite history book! Pure crAKKKk-cocaine! Affectionately known as: 'History Written By A Madwoman On A Caffeine High Strong Enough To Power A Residential Block', 'What J. K. Rowling Would Block Me On Twitter For', and 'My Friends Said This Was A Good Idea So It Must Be'.

The champions for the Triwizard Tournament are going to be drawn on Halloween, so Harry just knows something is going to happen. Better to direct the explosion than be in its path, yes?

'...shall mark him as his equal'. Few thought about what it might mean for Lord Voldemort to consider someone his equal. Somewhat dark, not for Weasley or Dumbledore fans.

Usually, the assassin's left after trying to kill Reborn. Except, all those other assassin's never fell in love with Reborn either. Otherwise known as Love at First Assassination Attempt

Kakashi can't take it anymore. It's about time that he put a stop to this. One-shot, sort-of-crack-fic.

They can be made to participate in the Tournament, but not to treat it seriously. (Crackfic. Oneshot.)

Voldie's got mama issues. Harry comforts and Sirius is serious. What more do you want? (ONESHOT)

Because ghouls are possessive and petty little shizs (“You’re a ghoul.”... “Yes and you’re mine.”)

When Harry learns love is what is supposed to defeat the Dark Lord, he puts two and two together, and quickly comes up with a solution that fixes everything! Slash fic! Basically just crack.

During the final task of the Triwizard Tournament, Harry babbles to himself as he tries to navigate boggarts, a Sphinx, and a noseless freak, not realizing everyone in the audience can hear every word he says. One-Shot Crack Fic

Harry went through more trauma in 17 years then most people do in a lifetime. Is it all that strange he would come out broken?InsaneHarry!Trigger Warning! This story contains suicide and off-screen torture! Not intended as slash but can be read that way! One-Shot

When Voldemort comes to the Ministry for the prophecy, he is feeling chatty instead of homicidal. (Just a random plot bunny that didn't fit anywhere)

Harry Potter is an older cousin to James Potter, and his lover Voldemort doesn't do Christmas decorations. Which makes him put up a lot of it. Severus is not impressed. Neither is Voldemort for that matter. Slash.

The worst thing about Voldemort finding out that Harry is a Horcrux, weirdly enough, is how protective he is. With only Harry and Nagini left, Voldemort goes to great lengths to ensure their comfort and safety. He checks in every night like an overbearing boyfriend. Harry and Nagini deal. Crack.

Set in Harry's 5th year. Harry had normal day and Voldemort is little sleepy. CRACK FIC, NO BETA

The Dursleys were a lot worse than anyone could've expected. "I am not a child, I am a freak, and I squeezed the knife because I was trying to hurt myself." One-shot. Warnings: Suicide, Rape, Abuse

With plan A for the defeat of the Dark Lord down the tube, Harry wants to know if Dumbledore had a plan B in place. AU! Rated for a couple of swears.

Harry wants to go out into the snow, and he insists on Tom coming with him.

Even if Lily's parents had survived the war, Dumbledore wouldn't have given Harry to them for the very same reason that the Evanses had been proud to have a witch in the family.

"Wait, wait! So you're telling me that Kurokocchi and Akashicchi do a full personality slash brain swap when they're heavily intoxicated?" Aomine, six bottles of sake and five self-proclaimed guests. GoM fluff! Crack-ish

Kagami woke up with a pounding head only to find his team out-cold, the GoM scattered in his apartment, Himuro on top of a cabinet, and... where's Kuroko? He doesn't remember anything from last night, nor did the others. One thing's for sure— he will never drink nor will they have a party at his place again. Ever. One-shot.

Sometimes, when one insists on not wanting to become a Shinobi, it is best to listen to them.

Their lovemaking, if it could be called as one, was never soft or slow or romantic. For Krysania. A spin off of 'Harry Potter and the Death Wish'. Marvolo LV x Harry. PWP. Lemon.

Not many people knew that the most powerful wizard in the world lived in America. However, Director Fury made it his business to know these things, especially since he seemed a prime candidate for his Avengers Initiative. Unfortunately, the wizard in question didn't quite agree. One-shot

At age eight, Harry Potter had an epiphany. He realized, with the utter certainty that only an eight years old can have, that he was a Jedi.

Harry realised that being a Gryffindor gave him a rather short life expectancy. Instead of Horcruxes he spends his time hopping from country to country enjoying his life and freedom until he ends up in a bar called Sanctuary. Mass-brawling ensues.

...To Make a Baby. Or, Why Snape Shouldn't Leave Certain Potions Unattended in Public Places.

After the summit, Gaara finds Naruto and explains to him what Madara's current 'Master Plan' is. Needless to say, Naruto is not impressed and his faith in Madara's sanity takes a huge nosedive. "He either didn't think this through or he's lying to us."

Two descendants of Salazar Slytherin get into a written argument over ownership of the contents of the Chamber of Secrets during Harry's second year.

Naruto is hurt that Sasuke didn't tell him about Itachi...or did he? Sasuke insists he talks about it all the time but Naruto hears too many sob stories to keep them all straight, Itachi tries to catch up with Sasuke and Kisame just wants to kill someone.

Before the Last Battle can commence, a train ride is in order. Unfortunately for Harry, Death Eaters have to ride too. While on board, Harry's luck runs out, and he finds his seat next to a bored Dark Lord. Trainlest, HPLV, Smut, Oneshot

HP/LV. Character death. After years of sending gifts meant to mock, Voldemort's obsession to kill Harry Potter changed after one night.

[HPLV] Parody. 'The spectators gave up all pretences of fighting and gathered around them, Death Eaters, Aurors, and Order of the Phoenix members alike.' Alternate DH ending. Pointless and silly. Tribute to breaching the 1,000 review mark on Paraselenic.

Among other things besides threatening, killing, and maiming, Gaara loves hugs.

SLASH! PARODY! Rita Skeeter exposes Harry Potter's untold story of what happened after he hit puberty… based solely on an unauthorized, uncorroborated interview with Lord Voldemort.