Zichigo214
 Name- None of your concern. Likes: Women( A given), Romance Novels( They're good, so sue me!), Anime, Harems( IN ANIME! perv's...), Great plots( N/E- Harry Potter, Naruto, & Kingdom Hearts), Smarts, My Belief's, Medical Stuff in General, Food, Manipulation( Not evil... just dark), & Some Sports. Dislikes: Too many things that I hate to name ( Why does that sound familiar...), BUT- I will name the #1 thing I hate- My family(No Emo). Things I Believe In: Superstition, Karma, & That one can't live in complete darkness or light. Things I Stopped Believing In: Peace, Love, & Religion. This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murder chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. Lucillia. Anti-Abortion: (not mine) Month one Mommy I am only 8 inches long but I have all my organs. I love the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it I wave my arms and legs. The sound of your heart beat is my favorite lullaby. Month Two Mommy today I learned how to suck my thumb. If you could see me you could definitely tell that I am a baby. I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though. It is so nice and warm in here. Month Three You know what Mommy I'm a boy!! I hope that makes you happy. I always want you to be happy. I don't like it when you cry. You sound so sad. It makes me sad too and I cry with you even though you can't hear me. Month Four Mommy my hair is starting to grow. It is very short and fine but I will have a lot of it. I spend a lot of my time exercising. I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes and stretch my arms and legs. I am becoming quite good at it too. Month Five You went to the doctor today. Mommy, he lied to you. He said that I'm not a baby. I am a baby Mommy, your baby. I think and feel. Mommy, what's abortion? Month Six I can hear that doctor again. I don't like him. He seems cold and heartless. Something is intruding my home. The doctor called it a needle. Mommy what is it? It burns! Please make him stop! I can't get away from it! Mommy! HELP me! Month Seven Mommy I am okay. I am in Jesus’ arms. He is holding me. He told me about abortion. Why didn't you want me Mommy? Every Abortion Is Just . . . One more heart that was stopped. Two more eyes that will never see. Two more hands that will never touch. Two more legs that will never run. One more mouth that will never speak. If you're against abortion, re-post this. 100 Rules of Anime The laws of Anime is a growing list of physical, universal, and natural phenomenon that seem to appear in various forms in all sorts of anime. The original intent was an effort to classify these incidents into a list of "laws" that explained how Anime physics are different from our own (real?) world. It is our hope that you find them useful to studying Anime, or at the very least, worth a good chuckle. #1 - Law of Metaphysical Irregularity- The normal laws of physics do not apply. #2 - Law of Differential Gravitation- Whenever someone or something jumps, is thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborne, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4. Some things have been known to "Float" for a few seconds before plummeting to hit the ground, vehicle, or someone’s cranium. #3 - Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics- In space, loud sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way. #4 - Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion- In space, constant thrust equals constant velocity. #5 - Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion- The larger a mechanical device is, the faster it moves, Armoured Mecha are the fastest objects known to human science. #6 - Law of Temporal Variability- Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero whenever he does something "cool" or "impressive". Time slows down when friends and lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight. #7 - First Law of Temporal Mortality- "Good Guys" and "Bad Guys" both die in one of two ways - either so quick they don’t even see it coming, OR it’s a long drawn out affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human existence or why the toast always lands butter side down. NOTE: Sometimes, Anime heroes or villains never really die! In these rare cases they were a clone or cyborg and the real hero/villain’s suspiciously missing in "Malletspace", or something. #8 - Second Law of Temporal Mortality- It takes some time for bad guys to die... regardless of physical damage. Even when the "Bad Guys" are killed so quickly they don’t even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain. #9 - Law of Dramatic Emphasis- Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are depicted with either still frames or black screens with a slash of bright color (usually red or white). #10- Law of Dramatic Multiplicity- Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a "Good Guy" kicks the "Bad Guy" in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3 different angles. #11- Law of Inherent Combustibility- Everything explodes. Everything. First Corollary- Anything that explodes bulges first. Second Corollary- Large cities are the most explosive substances known to human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities, sometimes referred to as "The Matchstick City". #12- Law of Phlogistatic Emission- Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds. #13- Law of Energetic Emission- There is always an energy build up (commonly referred to as an energy "bulge") before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the Law of Inherent Combustibility. #14- Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude- The destructive potential of any object/organism is inversely proportional to its mass. First Corollary- Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also known as the A-Ko phenomenon. #15- Law of Inexhaustibility- No one EVER runs out of ammunition. That is of course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious. #16- Laws of Inverse Accuracy- The accuracy of a "Good Guy" when operating any form of firearm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the "Bad Guys" when operating firearms decreases when the difficulty of the shot decreases. (Also known as the Stormtrooper Effect) Example: A "Good Guy" in a drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and several battalions of "Bad Guys" firing on a "Good Guy" standing alone in the middle of an open field will always miss. First Corollary- The more "Bad Guys" there are, the less likely they will hit anyone or do any real damage. Second Corollary- Whenever a "Good Guy" is faced with insurmountable odds, the "Bad Guys" line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a single burst of automatic fire and then escape. Third Corollary- Whenever a "Good Guy" is actually hit by enemy fire, it is in a designated "Good Guy Area", usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm, which restricts the "Good Guy" from doing anything more strenuous than driving, firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex martial arts maneuvers. Fourth Corollary- The more times the "Bad Guy" fires, the fewer times he will hit. #17- Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability- Minimei is a bimbo. (Note: The Minority Opposition in Ohio disagrees and thinks all men who like this stuff needs to get out more.) #18- Law of Hemoglobin Capacity- the human body contains over 12 gallons of blood, sometimes more, under high pressure. #19- Law of Demonic Consistency- Demons and other supernatural creatures have at least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown, but black is not unknown, and can only be hurt by bladed weapons. Also, acid has been known to work just as well... #20- Law of Militaristic Unreliability- Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and large war machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a song. First Corollary- Whenever a single war machine (mecha, starship, etc.) goes up against an entire army, the army always loses. #21- Law of Tactical Unreliability- Tactical geniuses aren’t... #22 -Law of Inconsequential Undetectability- People never notice the little things... like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle. #23- Law of Juvenile Intellectuality- Children are smarter than adults. And almost twice as annoying. #24- Law of Americanthromorphism- Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles, either as a really nasty skinny "Bad Guy" or a big stupid "Good Guy". First Corollary- The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb Americans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line Effect) Second Corollary- The only people who are more stupid than the American translators are the American editors and censors. Third Corollary- Canadians are usually portrayed as smart, strong, handsome "Good Guys". #25- Law of Mandibular Proportionality- The size of a person’s mouth is directly proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating. #26- Law of Feline Mutation- Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably: 1) be female. 2) will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation. 3) wear as little clothing as possible, if any. #27- Law of Conservation of Firepower- Any powerful weapon capable of destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and used as a last resort. #28- Law of Technological User-Benevolence- The formal training required to operate a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity. #29- Law of Melee Luminescence- Any being displaying extremely high levels of martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing aura. This aura is usually blue for "Good Guys" and red for "Bad Guys". This is attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil. #30- Law of Non-Anthropomorphic Antagonism- All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason. #31- Law of Follicular Chromatic Variability- Any color in the visible spectrum is considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or explanation. #32- Law of Follicular Permanence- Hair in anime is pretty much indestructible, and can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone’s hair is the same way you deal with demons... with bladed weapons! #34- Law of Probable Attire- Clothing in anime follows certain predictable guidelines: Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off aforementioned female’s clothes, then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the Gratuitous Shower Scene). Whenever there is a headwind, Male characters invariably wear long cloaks that don’t hamper movement and billow out dramatically behind them. First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability)- All anime characters are resistant to extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow. Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability)- Bikinis render the wearer invulnerable to any form of damage. Third Corollary (Probable Attire permanence)- The clothing on the hero is indestructible. Their capes, robes, (and if they are girls,) skirts, dresses, bows, or any loose clothing will just flap when they are in the middle of a fire or ice attack... Unless it's a hentai. It is believed that the clothes are made out of Anime Character hair. (re. Laws 32 & 48) #35- Law of Musical Omnipotence- Any character capable of musical talent (singing, playing an instrument, etc. Is automatically capable of doing much more "simple" things, like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so on... especially if they’ve never attempted these things before. #36- Law of Quintupular Agglutination- Also called "The Five-man Rule", when "Good Guys" group together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic positions, which are: 1) The Hero/Leader 2) His Girlfriend 3) His Best Friend/Rival 4) A Hulking Brute 5) A Dwarf/Kid Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include: 1) Extreme Coolness 2) Amazing Intelligence 3) Incredible Irritation #37- Law of Extradimensional Capacitance- All anime females have an extrasdimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment’s notice. This mysterious dimension is commonly called "Malletspace". First Corollary (AKA The Hammer Rule)- The most common item stored is a heavy mallet, costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas. #38- Law of Hydrostatic Emission- Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the back of the head. When extremely stressed , embarrassed, or worried, this sweat gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid. #39- Law of Inverse Attraction- Success at finding suitable mates is inversely proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the less you get and vice-versa. First Corollary- Unfortunately, this law seems to apply to Otaku in the real world... #40- Law of Nasal Sanguination- When sexually aroused, males in Anime don’t get erections, they get nosebleeds. No one’s sure why this is, though... the current theory suggests that larger eyes means smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see Law #38 above). Females don’t get nosebleeds, but invariably get one heck of a blush along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of bloodflow to that region. #41- Law of Xylolaceration- Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal swords, if not sharper. #42- Law of Juvenile Omnipotence- Always send a boy to do a man’s job. He’ll get it done in half the time and twice the angst. #43- Law of Triscaquadrodecophobia- There is no Law #43. #44- Law of Nominative Clamovocation- the likelihood of success and damage done by a martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced (known as the Kamehameha effect). #45- Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis- Regardless of how long or involved the transformation sequence or how many times they’ve seen it before, any "Bad Guys" witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it. #46- Law of Flimsy Incognition- Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives. #47- Law of Mandibular Combustible Emission- All anime characters seem to have some unknown chemical on their breath that reacts VERY violently with extremely hot or spicy food. This chemical may also be responsible for the phenomenon of fire behind the eyes and from the mouth when a character (usually a female) is really angry. #48- Law of Electrical and Combustible Survivalism- If you get electrocuted or burned, YOU WILL SURVIVE!! Though your entire body will be scorched, seconds later, your skin won’t have a trace of damage (Also known as the "Pikachu Effect"). First Corollary- When a magical bad guy/Alien/monster fires off a flame, wind, or ice attack, the resulting effect is only enough for the hero(es)/heroine(s) to be standing in the "Walking Against the Wind" stance, with his/her eyes shut and letting out a pathetic "Aaaaagh!", and yet they are never harmed. This may be in part to laws 32, 34 and sometimes 44. #49- Law of Female wrath- If a male character insults a female character, he will get a mallet, shotgun, or tank blast, or if she is a character that can perform magical feats, a fireball or whatever, to the head, body or whatever (Also known as the "Lina Inverse/Gourry Factor") This is because he always deserves it, and will help him to cope in today’s society. (Sniff Sniff #50- Law of Artistic Perversion- Most (not all) Anime artists are perverts and are under the impression that girls are willing to tear off their clothes, or wear VERY small, revealing outfits at the drop of a pin (or pen for that matter). Unfortunately, most Hentai fans are under the same impression. #51- Law of Uninteruptable Nominative Clamovocation- This law is a mixture of Laws 44 and 45. Regardless of how long or involved the Spell or projectile attack is, and the likelihood of success and damage done by the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced, or how many times they’ve seen it before, any "Bad Guys" witnessing a hero/heroine quoting the incantations for an extremely powerful attack are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it. (Also known as the "Dragon Slave Phenomenon") 52- Law of Telepathic Obliviousness- Most of the time, some Anime characters (usually males) will think personal (Like that he/she has sabotaged something), or perverted thoughts, while near some other character, WHO’S TELEPATHIC!! The reasons for this are: 1) They forgot that the person is telepathic. 2) They just don’t give a damn. The reasons the telepathic person doesn’t react are: 1) They’re preoccupied with doing something else. 2) They’d rather keep the fact to themselves that they are Telepathic. 3) They just don’t give a damn. #53- Law of Chromatic Diversity- Air can be any color of the viewable spectrum. #54- Law of Old Man Comic Relief- Comic relief comes in the form of a short, bald, wise-mouthed dirty old man or alien. Or the combination of any two of those traits. First Corollary- If old man is present, and is acting too horny, stupid, etc., there will invariably be an old woman to whap him over the head with a frying pan or something. #55- Law of the Wise Old Man- Little old Japanese men always know how it ends and withhold the ending from anyone, especially the hero. This includes special power weapons, ancient relics, and people who know everything. #56- Law of Omnipotent Unreliability- Any "Bad Guy" with Omnipotent powers/weapons will never use those powers/weapons against the "Good Guy" until it is too late. First Corollary- All "Bad Guys" suffer from Antagonistic Boasting Syndrome which require all "Bad Guys" to threaten with or exemplify their prowess and not use it against the "Good Guy". Second Corollary- No "Bad Guy" may use any new, secret, or superior military device without one of the following events occurring: a) The control device being broken. The control device being taken by the "Good Guy". c) The control device is in fact not the real device at all and was just "fooled" by the "Good Guy". d) The "Bad Guy" has already lost and cannot use the device. #57- Law of Minimum Corneal Volume- Eyeballs may make up no less than one sixth of the face’s total surface area. More so if the case is a blonde woman. #58- Law of Electrical Charges in Hair- Hair attracts electricity in abundance, resulting in two outcomes: a) A positive charge will result in the spikes-flying-everywhere-behind-me look. A negative charge will result in the hair-cascading-down-to-the-waist-in-a-single-sheet look. #59- Law of Ammunition Accuracy- When there are multiple types of ammunition available (paintballs, speaker pods), non-lethal rounds will always be more accurate when compared to "standard" or lethal shots. (Macross Plus for paintballs, Macross 7 for speaker pods) #60- Law of Active Female Attraction- In a comedy series, a male character’s attractiveness to women is inversely proportional to how active they pursue them. (Tenchi, Ranma, and Makoto OVA have a seemingly endless supply of willing girlfriends despite their lack of romantic skill while Happosai, Ataru, and Carrot couldn’t get a date despite or because of their constant attempts.) #61- Law of Sweat Pore Variability- When a person is embarrassed, caught in an awkward situation, or otherwise humiliated, all sweat pores on the body contract, except for ones on the forehead. These pores expand to such a degree that a single drop could fill a Big Gulp from 7-11. #62- The Law of Inverse Training Time- A person who has been training for 3 years is never as good as someone who has been training for one month. #63- Law of Needs to Few and Many- The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the few... of even the one. #64- Law of Bad Humor- Whenever someone says something that is intended to be funny, whether actually funny or not, the rest of the characters (even animals) fall to the ground with their feet in the air. Sweat sometimes accompanies the fall. (The sound of a cow mooing usually accompanies the joke as well.) #65- Law of Extreme Anger- Whenever a female character gets mad, such as seeing the male character with another girl, she becomes extremely strong (despite her usually helpless look) so that she can lift a 1000 ton object to hurt the guy. She can sometimes perform other punishments that are just as cruel such as pinching the guy’s face so hard that it changes shape. (see law #49) #66- Law of Differentiated Gravitation- First Corollary- If the airborne entity exceeds an altitude equal or greater than two times the height of the entity, gravity is decreased by an inverse coefficient relative to the upward momentum and mass/weight (if within at least 500 km of any gravity source) of the entity "jumping". Second Corollary- The amount of Newtonian "opposite force" (in accordance to normal downward velocity; "Earth gravity" speed is equal to 32ft/sec/sec) is also inversely proportional to the "actual" speed of the airborne entity. In all actuality, an entity that appears to be flying towards a solid concrete parking lot from space will actually land, producing an opposite force of approximately 1.73 lb. of pressure. Unless this particular entity is a "Bad Guy". Then the law exhibits a mysterious exponentially proportional Newtonian opposite force, thusly increasing this variable by a factor equal to the inverse-gravity potential. #67- Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any situation where the Ambient Dramatic Tension increases, the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient must be increased by a proportional amount to compensate. In any situation where this does not happen, the "Bad Guy" inevitably comes out on top. However, this usually leads to a further rise in the Ambient Dramatic tension, which will always be offset by an exponential increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient. #68- Law of Coercive Vehicular Control- No matter how complex or well defined the control system, a character controlling a vehicle of any sort always does so through means of undetectable subconscious psychokinesis. First Corollary- Characters can perform actions with their vehicles which clearly defy normal physics (see Laws of Metaphysical Irregularity and Constant Thrust). The velocity, attitude and traction of the vehicle appear to be adjusted at will, with the degree of absolute control being proportional to the complexity and lethality of the maneuver. Second Corollary- It is effectively impossible to remove characters from or disrupt the passage of their vehicles without the character’s consent. This does not always apply to "Bad Guy" characters, or "Good Guy" characters in situations where the Ambient Dramatic Tension could increase in accordance with the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension. #69- Amendment to the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any situation where the Ambient Dramatic Tension increases without a corresponding increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient, not only does the "Bad Guy" usually come out on top, but also his Smugness Factor increases in proportion to the rise in Ambient Dramatic Tension. #70- Law of The Rushing Background Effect- Whenever something dramatic occurs, a survival instinct engages, thus rendering all incoming stimulus that is not directly and immediately to the dramatic situation at hand a meaningless blur. This is often referred to as "The Rushing Background Effect". Due to the increase in brain activity and adrenaline levels in the bloodstream, the scene is often played out in slow motion. #71- Law of Interdimensional Hammers- Whenever a female character witnesses a male character of her preference performing any sort of questionable act (i.e. Looking at another girl or anything she might construe as perverted) she can reach into an interdimensional realm (usually behind her back) and withdraw a huge Anime Mallet of Doom with which to whack the said male over the head with. (see Laws # 37, 49, and 65) #72- Law of Instant Band-Aids- Whenever a character is injured (usually in a head shot, maybe from a mallet whack) Band-Aids will always instantly appear on the wounded individual (and always in pairs, set in a cross fashion). These bandages will then, most likely, disappear by the character’s next scene. #73- Law of Universal Edge Defense- Any projectile attack, from a blast of magic to a hail of bullets, can be easily defended against by holding a suitably cool-looking sword or other bladed weapon between the attacker and defender, usually so that the edge cuts into the incoming attack(s), causing both halves to go flying harmlessly past the defender. Observed most often in fantasy and martial arts anime. #74- Law of Intractable Sanity- There is no such thing as insanity in anime. When faced with horrifying supernatural forces that would drive most men mad, anime characters will either: a) Die quickly (but in accordance with all other laws e.g., slowdown and exposition), Get possessed by them, especially if they are beautiful girls or men in a position to ravish beautiful girls, or c) Kill them, wipe the blood off their blades, and walk on whistling. #75- Law of Celestial Body Control- At a dramatically correct moment, a hero can summon a sun/moon/halo to appear behind him/her to cause a dramatic silhouette. #76- Law of Aura of Forgetfulness- Any hero who wishes his/her identity to remain a secret will invariably succeed regardless of disguise because everyone around him/her will forget everything. Otherwise, how does Sailor Moon keep her disguise? #77- Law of Cool Hair Factor- The hair of a hero will always coalesce into thick strands that drape his face into a dramatic fashion, regardless of wind, the elements, etc. (see Laws 32 & 48) #78- Law of Inverse Coping- Any single event will happen to the ONE character LEAST capable of dealing with it. #79- Law of Martial Arts Training Invulnerability- The Myth that certain martial arts will enable you to become so strong, that you can stop a nuclear warhead with your bare palm. Unfortunately, for most otaku, they found the hard way that it just doesn’t work in real life... #80- Law of Stereotype Captain characteristics- If a captain of any type of ship is male, he will invariably wear a big captain’s cap, a long overcoat, and have a shaggy beard and mustache (pipe optional), and be a great tactician. If the captain is female, however, she will invariably be young, well endowed, and ditzy as a pole (horny father optional). Yet, she too will be a great tactician. #81- Law of Shades/Coolness Factor- Shades can make you instantly cool, even if you’re normally a klutz. #82- Law of Hentai Plot- The proper response to any change in the plotline of a Hentai anime is to start having sex. #83- Law of Understatement- Anything that is deemed too impossible will become possible. First Corollary- Any "Bad Guy" stating "T-that’s impossible!" whenever the hero is accomplishing some new feat/move/projectile will find out too late that he is wrong and will invariably be toastied. #84- Law of Dormant Powers- Anytime a hero is somehow outpowered and/or outclassed by the villain, he will invariably release powers/new moves he never knew he could accomplish... but his old teacher did! #85- Law of Style Coefficient- In a situation where a Good guy may be in dire straits, he will become stronger, smarter and more cool in a matter of seconds. (see Laws #67, 69, and 84) #86- Law of Bad Guy Smugness Factor- Whenever the villain actually succeeds in beating the hero, they will begin to gloat uncontrollably, because they’ve never won against the "Good Guy" (because they’re Eeeviiil!!). They usually get so cocky, they tie the hero to a conveyor belt leading to his doom and leave to get a snack. Usually this results in: a) The hero escaping. Clean-up for the underlings. c) The villain getting toastied. #87- Law of Tableware Nonexistence- There IS no spoon. #88- Law of Goofy Turn-Ons- In Hentai, ordinary , pedestrian objects sometimes have the magical power of either inducing orgasm or arousal. Some include warm water, rolling on a smooth tabletop, wind, mild electrocution, the character toweling themselves after a bath/shower, and very cold objects... like bottles of 7-up. #89- Law of Penile Variance- All Anime men in Hentai have a ridiculously large penis (lengths of 8, 9, 10 and 11 inches are most common). Some even have ones the size of telephone poles, despite the blood loss that would accompany it... #90-Law of Hentai Female Characteristics- All Hentai women have the following characteristics: 1) Very sensitive and/or very large breasts with large nipples. 2) Very tight and/or sensitive vaginas. #91- Law of Vaginal Variance- Hentai Anime women can take penis lengths of 8" and up... completely... despite the fact that they might have a tight and/or sensitive vagina. #92- Law of Hero Identification- All heroes are introduced by way of appearance while someone talking about their (in)famous-ness, or by way of a voice-over of them introducing themselves. #93- Law of Cute Mascots- Any anime either Shojo or Shonen has GOT to have at least one cute, furry little mascot by penalty of death! First Corollary- If it is a Shonen Anime, the hero will be accompanied by a Dog, Cat or any kind of animal, real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the male persuasion. Any animal that would be associated with girls that is following him around is there because: 1) It’s his girlfriend’s. 2) It is following him, despite his insistence not to do so. 3) Chicks will dig him more. Second Corollary- If it is a Shojo Anime, the heroine will be accompanied by a cat, cute lil’ mouse, or some disgustingly cute monster, or any kind of animal, real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the female persuasion. Any animal that would be associated with guys that is following her around is there because: 1) It’s her boyfriend’s. 2) It is following her, despite her insistence not to do so. 3) It makes her look cool. #94- Law of The Force- Most Anime heroes are blessed with a unique sort of ability that enables bad things to happen to those that deserve it or makes things like bullets or debris totally miss them (Also referred to as "Dumb Luck"), even though they are mostly unaware of it. Those who have this ability include Vash the Stampede, Captain Justy Ueki Tylor, and Jar Jar Binks. #95- Law of Naughty Tentacles- All Anime Tentacles are VERY horny and will rape any human female, regardless of age ("She’s 18! No! Really, she is! I’m not lying!...") First Corollary- Even when raped or molested by tentacles, Hentai Anime girls eventually get into it & begin squealing in ecstasy. NO one knows WHY this is, but some theorize there may be some kind of chemical that is secreted through the skin of the tentacle... Second Corollary- Women who are impregnated by a tentacle creature never experience morning sickness, and also find it to be intensely pleasurable (Also known as the Goofy Meter Redline Effect). Third Corollary- Similarly, the resulting... offspring of tentacle/human relations is immediately sexually active, often impregnating its own mother again. #96- Law of Cat-Fighting- Two females with a grudge can and will go at each other, sometimes ripping off clothes. Sometimes it escalates so much, that property damage begins to occur. First Corollary- A running fight can be so destructive, you can follow it from a distance just by watching for the smoke. (Also known as the "A-ko/B-ko Thing") #97- Law of Healing- Most anime heroes have a Wolverine-like healing factor that enables them to regenerate from a massive wound or broken bone within minutes. Being immortal sometimes helps. (Also known as the "Priss Effect".) #98- Law of Stereotype Crew Characteristics- All ships, either waterborne or spaceborne, have the following crew members: 1) The captain 2) His Lieutenant 3) Various female technical staff 4) A hotshot pilot 5) A cute little girl/twins (either stowaways or not) 6) The Doctor 7) The Doctor’s assistant (either a spy or not) Weighted among the crew are various quirks which include: 1) Extreme coolness/luck 2) Amazing Intelligence 3) Incredible irritation 4) Extreme cuteness 5) Irresponsible drunkenness 6) Homophobicness 7) Emotionless (Idiots.) #99- Law of Sparklies- Whenever a character of the main character’s interest appears, flowers, sparkles, or abstract circles of pastel colors appear around said character, or both. Roses with exaggerated thorns appear when it is dangerous love. No one knows why this is, though most have a theory: Anime characters are freaks! At least, Marker Apenname seems to think so... #100- Law of Anime Events- Much like wrestling, anything and everything can happen. The previous was created by Insane Advocate and his two friends. Aswell as various internet sources inorder to help others understand the things that happen in anime. So to help others understand anime affter you have read this please copy and paste this to your profile thank-you. If you have ever bitch-slapped a snob PROUDLY put this on your profile If you have insanely annoying siblings copy and paste this on your profile If you like being utterly random copy and paste this on your profile ( Sometimes i do some times i don't...) If you have ever laughed so hard you either choked, hyperventalated, had your sides cramp, or all of the above copy and paste this on your profile If you love Naruto so much you wish the characters were real so you coud be one of them, copy and paste this on your profile If you have ever had an arguent with yourself and LOST, copy and paste this on you profile. If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking copy and paste this on your profile If you have ever zoned out for five consecutive minutes copy this on your profile If you have your own little world, copy and paste this on your profile If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say right before you were going to say it copy this on your profile If you have ever slapped yourself and/or banged your head against a desk for no reason copy this on your profile If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the conversation copy this on your profile If you hate those mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites, copy and paste this on your profile If you have been hit in the face with a ball and started laughing copy this on your profile If you have ever crashed into a wall while sugar high copy and paste this on your profile If you have ever tried to make plans for world domination put this on your profile If you, with no warning, laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, copy this on your profile If you have ever thrown something at a TV screen when you saw a character you despised, copy and paste this on your profile If your profile is long, copy this onto it to make it even longer If you have ever copy and pasted something copy and paste this onto your profile If you have ever dreamed about being an Anime Character, copy and paste this into your profile If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear beating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc. then copy this into your profile! If you avoid teen fads and don't live your life according to others copy and paste this. Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen, watching-waiting-wishing, 100-percent-Harry-Potter-obsessed, iluvdavidwright45, dianeandnumairareahotcouple,windsoftiti, Ilovethelittletacos...Ilovethemgood, i-have-issues-deal-with-it, Kiba Obsessed Demonic Angel, Digital98, Anime-Kunoichi,Chinbaldo,Naruto Ninja44,May and Dawn are the best, rst64tlc,NeonZangetsu,Zichigo214 If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile. If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile. If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile. 92 percent of American teens would die if Abecrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their asses off at the others. If you talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: Danyan, Avatarwolf, Shifter-youkai ChOpstIcKsXOXO, RadicalEd57, Fierygirl0, tsukiko3000,Neonzangetsu,Zichigo214 If you're addicted to anime,copy & paste this into your profile. Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile. If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, post this in your profile. FuNnIe QuOtEs If the opposite of 'pro' is 'con', then what's the opposite of 'progress'? We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police I'm not littering...I'm donating to the Earth. Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible? Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it. I am not a humanitarian. I am a hell-raiser. Heck is the place for people who don't believe in Gosh. I'm not a complete idiot... Some parts are missing. The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not. They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every-time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room? Sarcasm is one more service I offer. Compassion costs extra. Insanity is a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world. Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive. I will temporarily rule the world, forever. Life is like robbing a bank; so worth the while! You want to know who your real friends are? Screw up and see who's still there- (A good one!!) Let's see. My first impression: I hate you - Kakashi (Naruto) Don't tell me the sky's the limit, when there's footprints on the moon- Don't look at me with that tone of voice!- Silence is golden, duck-tape is sliver- Too troublesome - Shikamaru (Naruto) It's a wonder they haven't locked you up yet- A good friend would come and bail you out of jail. A true friend would be sitting there beside you saying, "Man that was fun! Let's do it again!" Question: if some one with multiple personalities threatens to commit to kill himself is it considered a hostage situation?? Who ever said that anything was possible has obviously never tried to ski through a revolving door... He shouldn't let his mind wander, it's too little to go out on its own He had a good idea once, but it died of loneliness "Comfort the Disturbed and Disturb the Comfortable" -Unknown -"Fiction is a lie and good fiction is the truth inside the lie" -Unknown Genius by Birth Lazy by Choice Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them. You've gotta die in creative ways. They keep saying the right person will come along; I think mine got hit by a truck. Then the truck backed up and ran them over again. If it's not nailed down, it's fair game. To err is human, to forgive is not Company Policy When in doubt, use brute force. When that doesn't work...RUN LIKE HELL! Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense. If at first you don't succeed, redefine success. If you are feeling good, don't worry. You'll get over it. Never put off till tomorrow what you can avoid all together. Death is God's way of telling you not to be such a wise guy. I haven't lost my mind -- it's backed up on tape somewhere. You can't fall off the floor, but you can always pick yourself back up. Anything can be made to work if you fiddle with it long enough. If you mess with anything long enough, it'll break. Push something hard enough and it will fall. You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. There's no point in being grownup if you can't be childish sometimes! I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people. Had this been an actual emergency, we would have fled in terror and you wouldn't have been notified. Tomorrow will be canceled due to lack of interest. Schizophrenia beats being alone. Why is it that when adults have multiple personalities it's schizophrenia, but when a child has imaginary friends it's cute? Do what comes naturally now. Seethe and fume and throw a tantrum Sleep: A completely inadequate substitute for caffeine The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity (It's true I tell you!) If at first you don't succeed, destroy all the evidence that you tried Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view. Girl: Do I ever cross your mind? Boy: No Girl: Do you like me? Boy: No Girl: Do you want me? Boy: No Girl: Would you cry if I left? Boy: No Girl: Would you live for me? Boy: No Girl: Would you do anything for me? Boy: No Girl: Choose--me or your life Boy: My life The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says... The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind. The reason why I don't like you is because I love you. The reason I don't want you is because I need you. The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left. The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you. The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you. The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life. If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile. THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN FRIENDS AND BEST FRIENDS!! FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. FRIENDS: Are only through highschool/college. (aka: drinking buddies) FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough. FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter his is a story about a little girl that was abused. If you care at all, copy and paste this into your profile be warned it is sad: My name is Sarah I am but three, Child abuse, MAKE IT STOP! Stupid Racist People... A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him. Copy this onto your site and help stop racism! I'm Sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry But most of all I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm Sorry I'm sorry Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?" If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry' If Orochimaru creeps the shit out of you, copy and paste this onto your profile A ninja waits until the dead of night, when the enemy sleeps and drops his guard, when his weapons lie forgotten in the stillness of the night, that is the moment for a ninja to strike. Copy this into your profile if you're a Ninja! Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to Come to the dark side... WE HAVE COOKIES!! But if you are a true Ninja... Come to the dark side... WE HAVE KUNOICHIS!!! Unless you piss them off then we have castrations You have problems if: you skip/run/walk/jump around your house singing "I love rape" you randomly jump up from the computer and start dancing from excitement your greatest dream is to have a massive orgy you stay up half the night doing illegal things torture/the thought of torture makes you happy/excited/laugh you've ever discussed making a new version of the bible you wake up in the morning thinking about hurting people you karate chop milk you think small cartons of juice, small pill bottles, or small screwdrivers are cute. If you agreed to any of the above, congratulations, you're a little bit as unstable as I am. If you're damn proud of that fact, copy and paste this into your profile. You Know your obsessed with Naruto when... -Dye your hair blonde and try to walk up a tree. Hi, my name is Kazu. I like Writing and I like Athletics. I am running down the road I suddenly tripped over. I come home with a scratch on my knee. My mummy begins to worry. I tell her I am fine. She sighs and says ok. I am at school. When suddenly I fall and hit a tree. I am sent to the sickbay. Then I am sent home. Mummy takes me to the doctors. The doctors tell mummy something. Mummy starts to cry. I tell her it's ok. I'm not going to die. She tells me I am starting. Starting to be slower. I don't know what it means. But I have become sick. I tell mummy it's ok. I will become better. Mummy starts to cry. Do I have cancer? Mummy says no. Then what do I suppose. As a year had past. I struggle to walk. My speech is getting slower. It's hard for me to talk. My friends like to help me. My classmates like to run. But I have to sit down. And watch them have fun. Then one day my teacher. Comes to see mummy. Daddy comes out. And starts to get all snotty. The teacher tells my parents. I can no longer go to school. My motion is too slow. I ask the teacher slowly. I am sorry I am useless. I start to cry and beg her. I want to go to school. The teacher gives a smile. And tells me she is sorry. The school cant really help me. The words were so cruel. The day I had to leave. My friends and classmates cried. The boys upon the windows. Wave to me goodbye. I smile and sit in the car. I am taken to a school. A school with special people. Just like me and you. I start to have some fun. I made a lot of friends. As many years passed again. I talk too slow to understand. I cannot run anymore. And I struggle to even stand. I cannot write in my diary. My motion is too slow. Then one day I am sent. To the hospital again. Now many years have passed. I lie in a warm bed. I cannot move my body. I cannot move again. I talk very slowly. I cannot move my head. My mummy sits there crying. My daddy looks depressed. I ask my mummy sadly. Am I going to die. My mother holds my hand. Yells and starts to cry. A few more years later. I have to shut my eyes. I cannot talk or move. I seem to have died. Copy and Paste this story about Kazu who was diagnosed with a rare uncurable disease, Spinocerebellar Degeneration, in your profile. This disease causes a failure of muscle control in their arms and legs, resulting in a lack of balance and coordination or a disturbance of gait. Support and send the message worldwide. Who Am I? I am the boy...that doesn't go to school dances, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the boy that people look through when I say something. I am the boy that spends most of his free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the boy that people call weird, and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the boy that doesn't spend all his time on MySpace, or talking about cars, girls or sex to his firends. I am the boy that hasn't been asked out in a year...or ever. I am the boy that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and slash in the rain. But I am also the boy who knows and is proud to be who he is, doesn't care if people call him weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who can express himself better with words, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this to your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the people who are different and unique can know in their weakest times that they are unique, but not alone.The First Kitsukage, Zichigo214 If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry' Love is not just an emotion, it's an attachment. When facing question about your love life, you find yourself answering the questions with the most deepest meaning you can muster. A promise to two people that their love is bind forever until someone in that relationship breaks off, but if you are truly in love, the purest forms of love, then you may not want to leave. I recently found this out when I started to wonder why my past crush keeps coming into my mind. I would have done anything to be with her, but as it goes, she did not feel the same. Copy and paste if you would have done anything to prevent harm falling over your love one. You said I stopped caring You said I stopped coming You said I didn't love you You said I cheated You said I wasn't loyal You said I was lying You said I couldn't be trusted You said I gave my heart away to someone else You said I didn't give enough You said you feel like you're the only one in this relationship But you know what? You're wrong I didn't stop caring, YOUdid I didn't stop coming, YOU did I didn't say I didn't love you, YOU did I didn't cheat, YOU did There was never a time where I wasn't loyal to you There was never a time I'd lied to you There was never a time I couldn't be trusted There was never a time I gave my heart to someone else I didn't give enough, I GAVE enough You don't feel like you're the only one in this realitionship, I DO I never stopped caring I never stopped loving I thought my love and loyalty was enough I thought my heart and along with my soul would be yours forever Guess I was wrong But like I said, I never stopped caring YOU DID Copy and paste this if you've ever been in a relationship like that 7 reasons not to mess with kids Reason 1 A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah.” The teacher asked, ” What if Jonah went to hell?” The little girl replied, “Then you ask him”. Reason 2 A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, “I’m drawing God.” The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like.” Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, “They will in a minute.” Reason 3 A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year old After explaining the commandment to “honor” thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?” Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, “Thou shall not kill.” Reason 4 One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, “Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?” Her mother replied, “Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.” The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, “Momma, how come ALL of grandma’s hairs are white?” Reason 5 The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. “Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer, she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, he’s a doctor.’ A small voice at the back of the room rang out,”And there’s the teacher, she’s dead. ” Reason 6 A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, “Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face..” “Yes,” the class said. “Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn’t run into my feet?” A little fellow shouted, “Cause your feet ain’t empty.” Reason 7 The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: “Take only ONE. God is watching.” Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, “Take all you want - God is watching the apples. It's not a comic book, it's "Manga" |
