Please understand that:

You may not like my review. You may feel compelled to flame or harass me, but please bear in mind that coming up with creative names to call me, personal insults or dissing my deliberate attempts at badfic; and siccing your 3 rabid fangirls (or sock puppets) on me won't actually help your writing. The only way you will improve is if you actively work to improve your writing.

- I won't dignify claims that I don't have authority to con-crit. Presume all you want. I may be bitter underappreciated fanfic writer, or a BNF with too much time on their hands, or a closet D/G fangirl who aims to destroy the dramione fandom... or somewhere in between, or none of above. Y'know what? It doesn't matter. I back up my claims of 'areas that need improvement' with evidence FROM YOUR OWN WRITING. In other words how well I write has no bearing on how well (or not well) you write, inversely or conversely. I'm not here to impress. I'm here to critique.

- I write my reviews considering the following:

your story: I consider the technical and creative aspects as I write my review.

your writing history: Mostly what you have written in the past, and what date you joined the site. This way, I can review considering what your age is, potentially, and how much experience you have. This generally affects how critical I am of your work, and the ratio of the review taken up by technical things, as opposed to the creative (it is usually 10:1, technical to creative).

- I CANNOT beta for anyone. I have tried fielding requests in the past, but I don't have the time.

- I DO accept requests for reviews. Bear in mind, however, that I will be critical, and I cannot guarantee that I will (or won’t) like your work.

- I choose stories to review at random.

- There are many, many archives out there for adult-orientated fanfiction. I believe strongly that people who post adult-orientated fanfic at ff.net are stupid. Posting adult fanfic in ff.net is creatively unrewarding, because readers here aren’t at that level of maturity to appreciate your work beyond the level of, ‘That’s hot!’. There are MANY other archives out there which are receptive to erotica and literary porn. You will benefit much more from posting at those archives than here.

And really, if you can’t accept that, I question your artistic integrity.

THE GUIDE TO GETTING TONNES OF REVIEWS

The idiot proof step-by-step guide to actually getting something out of writing fanfic.

Who doesn’t like reviews? If you don't work for reviews, you won't get them. All those writers who get those impossible amount of reviews spend hours on their fics- this includes the writing process, the editing process, the sending-to-betas process, the getting it back process, the editing it again process, the fretting about whether or not it is good enough to upload process...

Flaws are fine. Flaws are okay. But if there are too many of them (flaws)... it doesn't look good.

Get betas. Getting betas is COOL. In case you haven't noticed, all the really up-and-going authors have betas. (And the point in getting a beta is making sure she is effective. If you get a crap one, that just defeats the purpose.) Think of it to be some sort of SECRET and EXCLUSIVE society. I know it takes a long time, but you'll end up making friends from all around the world, which is COOL, I tell you. (And that is my little bit of advertising for the day)

Summaries are particularly important. DON'T waste your space going on about stuff like 'rated R for abcdefghijklm' or 'dis is mi first fanfic be nice' or 'no flames' (because if the flamer is determined, they'll be flaming you anyway) or 'longer summary inside'. You need your summary to suck in as much people as possible, and writing unnecessary stuff like that is just... unnecessary. Chapter length, story status is optional.

Basically, a summary is what your fic is about. Make it look as interesting as possible (preferably, exclude the words 'sex', because that's just trashy). Most readers (obviously) look through summaries to get to the fic, so you want to make it look as eye catching as you can.

You can use quotes from your story, or just... go for it. Writing a summary is a work of art in itself. You don't have to reveal EVERYTHING about your story, in fact, you don't even have to reveal the main details. It just has to be relevant, amusing, so on so forth. Just think summaries that made you feel the urge to read the fic.

Most of all? PROOFREAD your summaries. If you can't even spell Hermione right, you aren't going to be encouraging anyone.

A few other handy hints for fic success.

Spell properly. Not lyk dis. Use your spell checker. Your spell checker is your friend! (And you'll get a lot more reviewers if you look like you actually bothered with your story) And oh, use your fancy words appropriately. The thesaurus is a wonderful tool - but use it SPARINGLY.

Yes, I know America is the world's super power, but the story is set in Britain, so 'Mum' is more appropriate than ' Mom'. And sweaters don't exist. Try a jumper. Graduation ceremonies don't happen, and people were trousers. Pants is underwear. (This part is optional, but many longtime fandom lurkers will love it, and therefore, you will get more reviews).

Format properly.

Disclaimer

Nonexistent Fic

Chapter 0

Content

Author's notes

(Also, press your return button twice after finishing a paragraph.)

It just makes things so much easier to read, and figure this: easy to read= reviews. Cinch as!

Grammar is important

Sentence structure:

"I like toasted onions," ABC said. (instead of '"Random dialogue." Harry said ' because it is a grammatical boo-boo)

or

"I like toasted onions," said character ABC. (intead of '"Random dialogue." Said ABC' again, above)

or

"Would you like toasted onions?" asked character ABC.

And.

"You're a goddamn stupid asshole," said Harry.

could be

"You're a sodding idiot," said Harry. (Because, you should be British since you're writing a British fanfic) (or arsehole, if you prefer)

and

"Do you like toads?" Before Hermione could say anything, Neville had placed Trevor on her lap.

Remember, every time the person speaking changes, it is a new paragraph.

For more grammatical tips, Google it! Look through your favourite books and see how published authors strut their stuff! Technical accuracy improves the fluidity and coherency of your writing.

Before you totally disregard this, it is actually against the ToS to use improper language which is basically to not obey the rules of grammar, not spell properly, etc. Breaking the ToS can result in the deletion of your story, or worse, account.

Plot, please!

Plots are very, very important. Sometimes, a good plot will even over shine grammar and sentence structure, and it is usually the stories with good plots that remain engrained in the fandom conscience. Characterisation is also important.

It is highly advisable that you do not use really common ideas, such as Hermione-Head Girl, Draco-Head Boy, because it has been done so many times, many readers click the back button just looking at it. It is also advisable that you keep the characters as plausible as possible. No sudden slut! Hermione, or suddenly gorgeous! Hermione or Draco. It makes our ship - and you - look very bad.

There's a long list of clichés that you should avoid. Try reading parodies. There are many on this site. :)

Most of all? Be original! It will score you reviewers. Don't do something that has been done before!

And original plots aren't that hard to get, so the excuse 'Originality is impossible' won't get you anywhere, and if you can't think of anything, borrow a plot from a book, movie or something. Modify it. Adapt it.

Characterisation:

Pet names are a massive turn-off. 'Mione and Gin... looks REAL bad. And Dracky... and anything like that... uh uh. Oh, and MYA. (No, no no no no no no.)

Don't trash Pansy. Deliberately glossing over the roles of minor characters (or dislikeable characters, to you) in your story is inadvisable. It is amateur. Don’t mutilate characters you don’t like, such as Harry, Ron and Ginny. To write a good fanfic, you have to consider the characters with the context of the HP universe.

Also? The characters aren't rich and famous and smart and conniving and cool and sassy and fashionable and stylish and... and... and... and... (you get the general gist of things, no?) So yes, if you want to expand on the characters, it would instantly classify your story as AU. (So write it down)

Sex scenes.

Keep them really tasteful. Bear in mind that ff.net has really young (underage) readers, who probably shouldn't be reading about certain bodily fluids and burgeoning body parts. It also reflects better on YOU as a writer, to make the sex scenes as minimal as possible, because not many writers can pull it off, and many sex scenes are often ridiculous. Use the fade to black method -and remember the ToS.

Remember the readers/reviewers!

Different stories will be more appreciated during different times. Of course, the main key to getting a lot of reviewers is writing well- and keeping your audience in mind. While you should give them what they want, don't always listen to them. You're the writer, not them!

All the same, DON'T threaten them with death if they don't review - because they're likely to just roll their eyes and think 'puh-lease' and press the back button - and don't beg for them too much, or otherwise you'll just come across as writing-for-reviews-and-nothing-else. Also, you really shouldn't do the give-me-ten-and-I'll-give-you-a-new-chapter thing, because it just makes you seem to desperate. Instead, appreciate what you get. That way, the reviewers will like reviewing your story more, and reviewing will be a necessity to them, instead of a chore.

The copy-technique

Want the secret the success? Study how YOUR favourite writers write. Study the authors that have tonnes of reviews. Why are people reviewing them? What have they done to make their story appealing? How have they phrased the summary compel readers to read them?

Of course, don't directly rip off their ideas. Be inspired.

How to deal with negative reviews:

Or should I say critical? Flames are pointless reviews. Basically, they just tell you that you should give up writing forever (etc, etc, etc) without giving the writer a plausible reason. Or it says that your story is horrible, and again, it leaves it as that.

A lot of the time, flames are confused with constructive criticism. However, sometimes, con-crit can be very offensive. However, there is a point where being offended becomes ridiculous. If you can't accept con-crit, that is your problem. However, it is highly advisable that you read through the con-crit, or demi-semi flame and start wondering WHY the reviewer told you your story was horrible.

Also, what has the reviewer pointed out? Why has the reviewer singled out your story? Why has the reviewer even BOTHERED?

The 'If you don't like it, don't read it' retort is implausible, as long as it isn't ship related (because if a R/Hr fan, or a D/G fan reads a D/Hr fic, they're asking for it). If the reviewer has bothered to give you a somewhat understandable review (however critical) read it through and learn, if you don't want to be flamed again. The only way to avoid flames is not by writing 'no flames' in your story summary, the way to do it is to write a good story.

If you choose to ignore criticism, you're the one losing out.

Statistically, most fics average one review for every one hundred readers. My take? Helpful reviews, in proportion to less helpful reviews, are probably one in every fifty. Obviously, you'll like reviews saying 'This is the most awsum fic evaaaaaa!' a lot more than 'Your grammar is weak, you should improve here' or 'the premise for your story is weak'; but think about it honestly, which one is more helpful?

Very few people on ff.net will be critical about your work. This is particularly true in the dramione fandom. Generally, when you start out, no one will criticise your work. It is only when you have a steady reader base, when people start to follow your creative progress/process, that criticism really starts. Since there are only very few fanficcers in the fandom who have big followings, I've decided to provide a little shortcut by setting up an account specifically designated to critique people's work.

You aren't meant to like criticism. But heeding it, as opposed to ignoring it, will do wonders to your writing.

About everything:

The common retort: Right, like I'm a professional writer/ Fanfiction is meant to be fun!/ URGH, JUST GO AWAY!/BTCH!

If your attitude is thus, why are you even bothering? It is a waste of time to write fan fiction if you don't accept criticism and/or if you don't even try to improve your writing standards. I'm not saying you can't make mistakes - you can!

However, being human is one thing. Deliberately ignoring sound advice - and I promise you, my advice will be sound - is just stubbornly refusing criticism. Everyone has room for improvement.

You'll pick up things as you go along (from betas, reviewers, etc) that will ultimately make you a better writer. Even if you don't consider it to be a career, it will be beneficial for everyday life, knowing how to use grammar and how to write properly.

So why are you doing this?

I started fanficcing before I was even a teenager. I've written a lot of crap, but I was lucky, because somehow, my crap accumulated to be somewhat... um, decent, and the premise of my writing attracted people who liked to tear it to little bits (and I wandered around along the way).

Call me masochistic, but I realised two years ago (and some) that the reviews that really made my writing improve were those which told me EXACTLY how crap my writing was.

And here I am today, passing on that lovely feeling of wanting to write something beautiful, magical and very close to perfect.

You don't realise how hard it is to see how well (or badly) you're doing until someone else puts it in perspective.

Here I am... and so on.

About the reviews

I honestly cannot promise you something that you'll feel good about, because what passes as con-crit for some people is considered to be offensive by others. However, I'll be as helpful as I possibly can. I don't write my reviews with any thought in mind of discouraging people from writing. It is just honest, blunt advice. There is no maliciousness whatsoever - but of course, things can always get misinterpreted. There are authors out there who'd rather not listen to advice. I pity you. I honestly do, because your progress as a writer is usually much slower, or non-existent.

THE REC LIST

Reviews can often be misleading. It doesn't happen often, but it does happen. Authors that absolutely do not deserve reviews get them... somehow, while other stories that are really good don't get recognition at all. Sadly, authors aren't always consistent, and competitions aren't always the best indicators of very good fics...

Here’s a list of a few very well known names that you may or may not have stumbled across in the Draco Hermione community (that actually deserve being well known) (on ff.net.)

GRAVIDY all-rounder.

FLUFF characterisation, style

SHARON ARMSTRONG also 'Maya'. all-rounder

CYROPI characterisation, plot

ANGELDEVOTEE all-rounder discont.

ONION LAYERS plot

WEVVLES plot

ATHENA LINBORN style, plot

SUPERSCAR all-rounder

PLASTRAA plot, style

Of course, there's probably twice that, but those are my personal notables. Not to say I love every single word they write, but each has written at least one fic that is amazing (in the respective categories labelled). They were chosen on the basis of number of fics written per author, originality and quality.

Best luck with your writing endeavours!

Kat