xSchadenfreude
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Joined 09-15-10, id: 2539123, Profile Updated: 03-17-11

I don't write much. I probably never will. I also have a short attention span, so anything I do write will most likely be a one-shot. Reviews make me happy, even if they're flames.

~Schadenfreude

deviantart.com .:. darklordpotter.net .:. anthonyhorowitz.com

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On the Way to Greatness by mira mirth reviews
As per the Hat's decision, Harry gets Sorted into Slytherin upon his arrival in Hogwarts—and suddenly, the future isn't what it used to be.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 20 - Words: 232,797 - Reviews: 3807 - Favs: 10,839 - Follows: 12,057 - Updated: 9/4/2014 - Published: 12/26/2008 - Harry P.
Point Game by Silens Cursor reviews
Harry and Tonks have a conversation, and it turns into something more.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,882 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 383 - Follows: 107 - Published: 11/10/2011 - Harry P., N. Tonks - Complete
Case 129 by Silens Cursor reviews
Three investigators. Two suspects. One murder. Nothing that special... or at least that's what they thought. Winner of the DLP February Dark Arts competition.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,577 - Reviews: 90 - Favs: 511 - Follows: 114 - Published: 3/11/2011 - Harry P., Daphne G. - Complete
Double Agent by ConfusedPumpkin23 reviews
On Monday, Alex saves the world from an insane multibillionaire. On Tuesday, Alex assassinates the head of a corporation. On Wednesday, Alex reports to MI6. On Thursday, Alex pays a visit to Scorpia. Does anyone truly know who Alex Rider is? One-shot.
Alex Rider - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,922 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 130 - Follows: 20 - Published: 1/21/2011 - Alex R./Cub - Complete
A Day at the Office by Smoochynose reviews
After a nightmare of a morning Ziva just wanted a coffee. Unfortunately an old friend decided to drop by the office.
Crossover - NCIS & Alex Rider - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,789 - Reviews: 77 - Favs: 513 - Follows: 131 - Published: 12/30/2010 - Ziva D., Alex R./Cub - Complete
For Love of Hate by BajaB reviews
Harry Potter knew love, when he was young, but he grew up using hate.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,848 - Reviews: 143 - Favs: 1,229 - Follows: 302 - Published: 9/30/2010 - Harry P. - Complete
Breach of Contract: Twelve Signs by The Matt Silver reviews
To avoid the unjust prosecution of his friends in the days following the end of the war, Harry Potter signed a magical contract in blood. Years later, Harry struggles with the balance of his latest Auror case involving a wizard ritualistically murdering Muggles, periodic contract renewals, and both the developing and deteriorating relationships with those closest to him. HP/NT.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Suspense/Mystery - Chapters: 5 - Words: 73,592 - Reviews: 114 - Favs: 530 - Follows: 218 - Updated: 8/20/2010 - Published: 7/22/2010 - [Harry P., N. Tonks] Remus L. - Complete
Loose Ends by Polaris24 reviews
With Voldemort dead and rotting Harry sets out to settle some long overdue debts.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Horror/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,588 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 17 - Published: 5/30/2010 - Harry P., Narcissa M. - Complete
By That Last Candle’s Light by SeriousScribble reviews
More than just Sirius died that night at the Ministry. Harry is left strangely empty, driven by one thought, a burning desire for revenge on the witch who killed his Godfather. But the further he goes, the more blurred everything gets. HPBella done right.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 33,455 - Reviews: 131 - Favs: 418 - Follows: 448 - Updated: 5/23/2010 - Published: 5/4/2008 - Harry P., Bellatrix L.
What Would Slytherin Harry Do? by Big D on a Diet reviews
An ongoing series of one shot stories exploring how Slytherin!Harry would have handled key moments from the books. Events will appear out of order, so don't be surprised if it jumps around. Small but important edit made to Chapter Five
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 44,417 - Reviews: 707 - Favs: 3,721 - Follows: 2,862 - Updated: 1/21/2010 - Published: 5/27/2007 - Harry P.
Contemplating Clouds by Tehan.au reviews
Apathetic Occlumency teacher twisting your mind out of shape? Never fear, there's a charming young girl in the year below to twist it back in the opposite direction. Just hope it doesn't snap.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 8,222 - Reviews: 517 - Favs: 1,930 - Follows: 2,012 - Updated: 1/5/2010 - Published: 10/28/2007 - Harry P., Luna L.
Black Phoenix by n1ght3lf reviews
To quote James Baldwin, "The most dangerous creation of any society is a man with nothing to lose." The Wizarding World is about to find out just how dangerous.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Tragedy/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 21,353 - Reviews: 77 - Favs: 471 - Follows: 126 - Published: 11/23/2009 - Complete
Timely Errors by Worfe reviews
Harry Potter never had much luck, being sent to his parents’ past should have been expected. 'Complete' Time travel fic.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 13 - Words: 130,020 - Reviews: 2224 - Favs: 10,292 - Follows: 3,013 - Updated: 7/7/2009 - Published: 4/15/2008 - Harry P., James P. - Complete
Harry's Little Army of Psychos by RuneWitchSakura reviews
Oneshot from Ron’s POV. Ron tries to explain to the twins just how Harry made the Ministry of Magic make a new classification for magical creatures, and why the puffskeins were now considered the scariest magical creature of all time. No pairings.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,308 - Reviews: 806 - Favs: 6,825 - Follows: 1,424 - Published: 3/27/2009 - Ron W., Harry P. - Complete
Tick Tock, Mr Potter by Samuel Black reviews
You are tonight's entertainment. There's only one objective. Survive until dawn, and you will be free to go." Azkaban just became a whole new type of Prison.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 13,525 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 84 - Follows: 27 - Published: 1/31/2009 - Harry P. - Complete
End Of the Line by shewhoguards reviews
Hell was, Snape decided, a crowded railway platform.Post Deathly Hallows. Contains spoilers.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Discworld - Rated: T - English - Angst/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 30,933 - Reviews: 820 - Favs: 2,363 - Follows: 656 - Updated: 10/31/2008 - Published: 7/22/2007 - Severus S. - Complete
A Gift Freely Given by Lady Altair reviews
The world remembers a martyr, a painted icon with a golden halo. Lily Potter wasn’t that.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 513 - Reviews: 154 - Favs: 717 - Follows: 79 - Published: 10/23/2008 - Lily Evans P., James P. - Complete
Familiar Conversations by Shezza reviews
ONE SHOT: Harry must do a bit of fast-talking to Ron explaining just why he was in Rose Weasley's room with no pants on. Submitted as part of the DLP Thank God You're Here challenge. Limit: 1800 words. Time: 60 minutes
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,670 - Reviews: 193 - Favs: 726 - Follows: 199 - Published: 6/25/2008 - Harry P.
Twice is Circumstance by Aurilia reviews
Sequel to Once is Happenstance. It's a couple of months after the naga, and Sam and Dean run into Harry while looking into a 'simple' salt&burn in the Louisiana bayou, only this spirit is anything but simple. Harry Potter xover. M for language, not slash.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Supernatural - Rated: M - English - Mystery/Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 98,451 - Reviews: 227 - Favs: 538 - Follows: 179 - Updated: 6/24/2008 - Published: 11/4/2007 - Harry P., Dean W. - Complete
The Ultimate Escape Artist by dogbertcarroll reviews
Harry's magic changes him in ways that no wizard has ever dealt with before as he attempts to escape the cupboard once and for all!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,640 - Reviews: 392 - Favs: 1,679 - Follows: 1,323 - Published: 5/24/2008 - Harry P.
Anything but Slytherin by IP82 reviews
ONESHOT. AU. How could have Harry's sorting ceremony looked like if the first war against Voldemort went down a bit differently. Dark and disturbing.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,917 - Reviews: 282 - Favs: 1,176 - Follows: 251 - Published: 5/21/2008 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
First Place Sinner by Daystar Clarion reviews
In which Harry has Petunia's love, though it makes him bleed. RE-EDITED Rated M For masochism, drug abuse, and other mature themes
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 11,801 - Reviews: 115 - Favs: 432 - Follows: 89 - Published: 4/15/2008 - Harry P., Petunia D. - Complete
A Hero by Celebony reviews
Dudley begins to see his family in a different light. Warning: strong language and themes of child abuse. WINNER: Best One-Shot at Quibbler Awards
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 18,108 - Reviews: 1448 - Favs: 8,251 - Follows: 1,223 - Published: 4/2/2008 - Dudley D., Harry P. - Complete
Cauterize by Lady Altair reviews
"Of course it's missing something vital. That's the point." Dennis Creevey takes up his brother's camera after the war.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,648 - Reviews: 1682 - Favs: 7,752 - Follows: 977 - Published: 3/24/2008 - Dennis C. - Complete
Twenty Times Uzumaki Naruto Didn't Die by Kraken's Ghost reviews
Over time, Naruto learns what it means to be Jinchuuriki. Final in 'Matters, Secrets, and Times.'
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Drama/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 14,849 - Reviews: 670 - Favs: 3,462 - Follows: 772 - Published: 1/22/2008 - Naruto U., Kyuubi/Kurama - Complete
Harry Potter and the Narrative Causality by Clell65619 reviews
Hermione discovers the power Harry has that the Dark Lord knows not. Harry enlists the aid of a certain carbosilicate amorph, who lives to kill people and break their things. A most silly fic. Harry/Hermione, Ron/Luna, Neville/Ginny, Schlock/Noone
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,851 - Reviews: 76 - Favs: 443 - Follows: 139 - Published: 1/18/2008 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Antithesis by Water Mage reviews
Nineteen years later, life was going great for Harry Potter. He had everything he had ever wanted. Friends, a wife, children. It was perfect. Then he opened his eyes...
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,788 - Reviews: 594 - Favs: 2,328 - Follows: 444 - Published: 12/13/2007 - Harry P. - Complete
Harry Potter and The Dark Lord Prevention Tech by Clell65619 reviews
One Shot Luna has a plan, and the technology to back it up.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,605 - Reviews: 160 - Favs: 943 - Follows: 250 - Published: 9/29/2007 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
A Bad Week at the Wizengamot by DisobedienceWriter reviews
What would have happened if Harry had been convicted by the Wizengamot after defending himself from dementors before his fifth year at Hogwarts? Humorous! Followup stories on Sirius Black plus Cornelius Fudge's attempt at becoming a dark lord.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 22,251 - Reviews: 691 - Favs: 5,274 - Follows: 1,403 - Updated: 8/14/2007 - Published: 7/6/2007 - Complete
Claustrophobia by Celebony reviews
Harry's childhood comes back to haunt him. A HarryWeasleys bonding fic.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 6 - Words: 38,049 - Reviews: 1050 - Favs: 2,689 - Follows: 740 - Updated: 2/13/2007 - Published: 11/27/2006 - Harry P., Arthur W. - Complete
Fallen in With Thieves by Nevermore reviews
Post Serenity. River has a job in mind, and only Jayne can help her.
Firefly - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,274 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 6 - Published: 2/10/2007 - River, Jayne - Complete
Luna Blinked by codenamelily reviews
I do blink, replied Luna. But sometimes it changes things. NevilleLuna, post Hogwarts years.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,677 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 79 - Follows: 12 - Published: 1/10/2007 - Neville L., Luna L. - Complete
Rivers of Blood by Soulforger reviews
Azkaban!Harry, Dark!Harry. After three years in prison, Harry's out for revenge and for his enemies' blood. warning: violence, language.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Horror - Chapters: 5 - Words: 15,177 - Reviews: 295 - Favs: 509 - Follows: 764 - Updated: 1/4/2007 - Published: 6/23/2006 - Harry P., Bellatrix L.
Blessed by Erised Burning reviews
A story about Harry growing up and killing things.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Horror - Chapters: 9 - Words: 70,600 - Reviews: 140 - Favs: 279 - Follows: 103 - Updated: 9/2/2006 - Published: 8/27/2006 - Harry P. - Complete
A Sue's Story by Resourceful-Idiot reviews
They’re annoying. They’re parasitic. And now they’ve realised. Canon has never been in so much trouble. A full cast of Sues, Stus and triplepronged cutlery!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody/Adventure - Chapters: 16 - Words: 86,893 - Reviews: 261 - Favs: 333 - Follows: 53 - Updated: 12/21/2005 - Published: 4/10/2004 - Complete
Lilith's Daughters by runaway scrape reviews
An alternative origin for the Slayer, vampires, and the Watchers.
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,639 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 6 - Published: 5/27/2005 - First Slayer, Buffy S. - Complete
Desperation by Larna Mandrea reviews
All of the tragedy and misfortune in the life of one Harry James Potter finally culminates one night at Hogwarts, and he sets off for the Room of Requirement in order to deal with his emotions. One-shot.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,845 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 91 - Follows: 12 - Published: 1/31/2005 - Harry P. - Complete
Program 12 by Shinoko reviews
The new school year has begun, and the sixth year class of Hogwarts has been chosen to participate in a deadly battle royale with only one rule: Kill or be killed.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 24 - Words: 89,211 - Reviews: 150 - Favs: 140 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 4/30/2004 - Published: 3/7/2004 - Harry P., Neville L. - Complete
Breaking Tradition by Mortalus reviews
When Harry Potter dies at the ripe old age of 107, an unlikely mourner comes to visit his grave.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,672 - Reviews: 486 - Favs: 1,869 - Follows: 333 - Published: 7/17/2002 - Severus S., Voldemort - Complete
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