name: jess

age: somwhere between the ages of 100 and 200 years old

hobbies: well aside from fanfiction and reading in general i dont really have any hobbies per say but i do have a passion for anatomy ever since greys anatomy and have plans to be a cardio thoracic surgeon and wouldnt dream of becoming anything else :)

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up, I was BLACK, When I'm sick, I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun, I'm BLACK, When I'm cold, I'm BLACK, When I die, I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born, you were PINK, When you grow up, you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun, you turn RED, When you're cold, you turn BLUE, And when you die, you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
(Post this on your profile if you hate racism.)

~o~ ~O~ ~o~

37 Things to do in an Elevator

1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.
8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.
9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.
16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
21. Swat at flies that don't exist.
22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.
23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.
24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.
25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.
29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.
31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.
32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.
33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
34. Tell people that you can see their aura.
35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..."

(post this in your profile if you have done at least one of these)

~o~ ~O~ ~o~

I am the girl who doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Twilight, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone.: Iheartjake1220, FaerieRose13, Dancer4Life15,livelaughlove23,Vamp n Werewolf Lover, Evelyn Masen, SeattleGraceWisteriaLane.

~o~ ~O~ ~o~

Fictional Hawties! (in no particular order)

1. alex (greys anatomy)

2. Jasper (Twilight)

3. carlisle (twilight)

4. emmett (twilight)

5. edward (twilight)

6. derek (greys anatomy)

7. george (greys anatomy)

8. finn (greys anatomy)

9. owen (greys anatomy)

10. joey (friends)

11. denny (greys anatomy)

12. greyson (cougar town)

98 percent of the world's population believe that they're bringing sexy back. Copy and paste this on your profile if you're part of the 2 percent that never lost theirs.

~o~ ~O~ ~o~

Twilight Oath:

I promise to remember Bella
Each time I carelessly fall down
And I promise to remember Edward
Whenever I'm out of town

I promise to obey traffic laws
For Charlie's sake of course
And I promise to remember Jacob
When my heart fills with remorse

I promise to remember Carlisle
When ever I am in the Emergency Room
And I promise to remember Emmett
Every time there's a huge boom

I promise to to remember Rosalie
Whenever I see something that holds pure beauty
And I promise to remember Alice
When I'm at a mall and a cute outfit spots me

I promise to remember Nessie
When I see that beautiful bronze hair
And I promise to remember Esme
When someone tells me they care

I promise to remember Jasper
Whenever my stomach isn't curled
And I promise to despise the Volturi
When someone speaks of dominating the world

Yes, I promise to remember Twilight
Wherever I may go
So that all may see my obsession
Because I know what the Twilighters know

~o~ ~O~ ~o~

...V...Put this
...A...On your
...M...Profile
...P...If
...I...You
...R...Have
...E...That crazy
...S...Obsession over vampires

~o~ ~O~ ~o~

A Twilight Survey

Which book in the series is your favorite?
breaking dawn

How long did it take you to read the books?
4 days

Who introduced you to the books?
my mom

Did you buy them, borrow them, or have them given to you as a gift?
borrowed then bought

Who is your favorite character?
esme, rosalie, Edward, bella, Alice, Carlisle (in no particular order)

Who's your favorite vampire?
Esme

Who is your favorite werewolf?
leah

What's one of your favorite quotes from the stories?
every word spoken by esme and you. got. food. in. my. hair

What was your favorite Bella and Edward moment?
i dont have one because im not really a bedward fan

What was your favorite Bella and Jacob moment?
When she punches him. Then breaks her hand.

How about your favorite Bella and Alice moment?
Her showing Bella the wedding dress

What was your favorite adventure/battle?
uhmmm when the edward and alice fight off the Volturi

Which book cover was your favorite?
twilight and breaking dawn

Are these books among your favorite books of all?
Yes

Twilight or New Moon?
new moon

New Moon or Eclipse?
New Moon

Eclipse or Twilight?
Eclipse

What Team are you on: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Team Edward i HAAAAAAAATE jacob

Who do you want to see Bella with most: Edward or Jacob?
Edward

Who do you like more: Bella or Edward?
Edward

Bella or Jacob?
Bella

Bella or Alice?
Alice

Alice or Jacob?
Alice

Rosalie or Alice?
rose

Jasper or Alice?
Alice

Jasper or Edward?
jazz

Carlisle or Esme?
esme

Emmett or Jasper?
jazz

Emmett or Jacob?
Emmett

Bella or Rosalie?
rosalie

Esme or Charlie?
Esme

Charlie or Carlisle?
Carlisle

Charlie or Billy?
Charlie

Jacob or Sam?
sam

Sam or Quil?
Quil

Quil or Embry?
Embry

Who's the better villain: James or Victoria?
Victoria

Werewolves or Vampires?
Vampires DUHHH

25 Things I Learnt From My Mother

1. My mother taught me

TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your nec k!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

1.YOUR REAL NAME: jessalyn

2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME:(first 3 letters of real name plus izzle): jessizzle

3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal): orange turtle

4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, and current street name): brooke aspen

5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of mom's maiden name): culjeatt

6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink): orange coke

7. YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maidenname, 3rd letter of you dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name): elkltgn

8. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mothers middle name): ann

9. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one your pets): Black jacob (yes, as in jacob black)

YOUR GUY SIDE:

You love hoodies.
You love jeans.
Dogs are better than cats.
It's hilarious when people get hurt.
You've played with/against boys on a team.
Shopping is torture.
Sad movies suck.
You own/ed an X-Box.
Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.
At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.
You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
You watch sports on TV.
Gory movies are cool.
You go to your dad for advice.
You own like a trillion baseball caps.
You like going to high school football games.
You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
Baggy pants are cool to wear.
It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
Sports are fun.
Talk with food in your mouth.
Sleep with your socks on at night

TOTAL: 11

YOUR GIRL SIDE:

You wear lip gloss/chapstick.
You love to shop.
You wear eyeliner.
You wear the color pink
Go to your mom for advice.
You consider cheerleading a sport.
You hate wearing the color black.
You like hanging out at the mall.
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
You like wearing jewelry.
Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
You don't like the movie Star Wars.
You were in gymnastics/dance.
It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
You smile a lot more than you should.
You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
You care about what you look like.
You like wearing dresses when you can.
You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
You love the movies.
Used to play with dolls as little kid.
Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.
Like being the star of every thing.

TOTAL: 8

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile.

Opening Credits: dog days are over--florence and the machine

Waking Up: rude boy--rihanna

First Day At School: only girl--rihanna

Making Your New Best Friend: beautiful--eminem

Falling In Love: crazy in love--eminem (haha it fits)

Breaking Up: not afraid--eminem

Prom: when im gone--eminem

Graduation: love the way you lie--eminem

Life's Okay: abracadabra--steve miller band (umm)

Death of a Close Friend: without me--eminem (aww)

Mental Breakdown: cleanin out my closet--eminem (lol)

Flashback: my first single--eminem

Getting Back Together: wont back down--eminem

Birth of Child: mockingbird--eminem (fits perfect)

Wedding Scene: my name is--eminem

Car Accident: survival of the fittest --mobb deep

Final Battle: one shot 2 shot--eminem (lol)

Death Scene: forgive me--proof/eminem

Funeral Song: forgot about dre--eminem/dr dre

End Credits: dispicable--eminem

Deleted Scenes: shook ones--mobb deep