![]() Author has written 4 stories for Darkest Powers. hmmm.. what to say about myself. I really just love to read and write whenever i have a spare bit of time. And i have to admit that i do have a tendency to get a wee bit obsessed with certain books, so then of course i end up with all these ideas floating around in my head and i just have to get them out of my system before they drive me completely nuts. Faviourite Books (in no particular order) Darkest Powers Series Women of the Otherworld Series Green Rider Series Twilight Saga The Host Dark Visions Series Secret Circle Series Vampire Diaries Series Night World Series Immortals Series Fallen Series Evernight Series Generation Dead Series Inheritance Cycle Mediator Series Wolves of Mercy Falls Series Harry Potter Gemma Doyle Series Madison Avery Series Dark Secrets Series Dark Divine Series New Species Series NORMAL PEOPLE: rely on construction people to tear down buildings DARKEST POWERS FANS: would rather ask Chloe to release a demi-demon NORMAL PEOPLE: say OMG! DARKEST POWERS FANS: say OH MY DEREK!! (OMD) NORMAL PEOPLE: go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings DARKEST POWERS FANS: go to Simon NORMAL PEOPLE: say shut up or i'll tell on you! DARKEST POWERS FANS: say shut up or i'll get Dr. Davidoff to terminate you NORMAL PEOPLE: think that werewolves are half-wolf half-human freaks DARKEST POWERS: know A LOT better and know to go outside right away when they see/hear a stranger vomiting in the bushes NORMAL PEOPLE: when being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY! DARKEST POWERS FANS: when being chased yell DEREK SAVE ME!! NORMAL PEOPLE: get nervous/scared during thunderstorms DARKEST POWERS FANS: know that somewhere Derek is just yelling at Chloe NORMAL PEOPLE: would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation DARKEST POWERS FANS: would go directly to BUFFALO NEW YORK NORMAL PEOPLE:dont have this on there profile DARKEST POWERS FANS: MUST have this on there profile 25 Reasons to Thank my Mother: 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. 7. My mother taught me IRONY. 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. 19. My mother taught me ESP. 20. My mother taught me HUMOR. 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. 25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE. In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods: On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( What other time do I have to work on my hair?). OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing. |
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