Therapynojitsu
 Author has written 1 story for Sonic the Hedgehog. In politics, stupidity is not a handicap. -Napoleon Bonaparte Hello mortals! I am the master of the kawaii desu, and I'm a princessu! (why won't senpai notice me!) Anyway, this is where I will post the crappy things I write! BYE! -Therapynojitsu A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him. AQUARIUS - The Slut (1/20-2/18) Great talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Knows how to Have fun. Is really good at almost anything. Great kisser. Unpredictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found. 7 years of bad luck if you do not repost. PISCES - The Addict (2/19-3/20) EXTREMELY adorable. Intelligent. Loves to joke. Very Good sense of humor. Energetic. Predict future. GREAT kisser. Always get what they want. Attractive. Easy going. Loves being in long relationship. Talkative. Romantic. Caring. 4 years of bad luck if you do not repost. LEO - The Cool One (7/23-8/22) Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, Fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you'll ever meet! Very beautiful. Amazing. however not the kind of person you wanna mess with... u might end up crying... 9 years of bad luck if you do not repost. CANCER - The Smart One. (6/22-7/22) Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being In long-term relationships. Extremely energetic. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out. 2 years of bad luck if you do not repost. ARIES- The Irresistible One (3/21-4/19) Nice Love is one of a kind. Great listeners Very Good in bed... Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Trustworthy. Always happy. Loud. Talkative. Outgoing VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE. 9 years of bad luck if you do not repost. SAGITTARIUS-The One that Waits (11/22-12/21) Dominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always Wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Loud. Loyal. Beautiful. Goofy. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. The one and only. 7 Years of bad luck if you do not repost. TAURUS- The Aggressive One (4/20-5/20) MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high appeal. Love is one of a kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet! Entirely creative. Extremely random and proud of it. Freak. Spontaneous. Great at telling Stories. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to. 12 years of bad luck if you do not repost. LIBRA - The Partner for Life (9/23-10/22) Caring and kind. Smart. Center of attention. High appeal. Has the last word. Good to find, hard to keep. Fun to be around. Extremely weird but in a good way. Good Sense of Humor!! Thoughtful. Always gets what he or she wants. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet. 5 years of bad luck if you do not repost. CAPRICORN - The Cute One (12/22-1/19) Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. EXTREMELY SEXY. Predict future. Irresistible. Loves being in long relationships. Has lots of friends. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. Also not a fighter, but if they have to, they will also knock the lights out of you if it comes down to it… Cool. Loves to own Geminis' in sports. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart. 24 years of bad luck if you do not repost. SCORPIO - The Gorgeous One (10/23-11/21) Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight for what they want. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Best kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. Amazing in bed. A caring person. One of a kind.Gorgeous Smile.Not one to mess with. Are the most attractive people on earth! 15 years of bad luck if you do not repost. VIRGO- The Promiscuous One (8/23-9/22) Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Very weird and sometimes insane. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in the you know where..!! Not the kind of person you wanna mess with- you might end up crying. 4 years of bad luck if you do not repost. GEMINI - The Liar (5/21-6/21) Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny. Excellent kisser EXTREMELY adorable. Loves relationships. Addictive. Loud. 16 years of bad luck if you do not repost. I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic. I'm Spanish, so I MUST not make any sense. I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists. (Damn, a lot of these apply to me.) FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you. BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?" FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you. BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..." FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall. BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?" FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince. BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you. FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!" FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda. BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you. FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in. FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain. BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run bitch run!" FRIENDS: Will help you move. BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies. FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!" FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food. FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS! FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up!" FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore. FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial. FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue." FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story... FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME." FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell. FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies) BEST FRIENDS: Are for life. FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough. BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!" FRIENDS: Would read ignore this (WHY IS THIS SO ACCURATE!) SOme things for you to copy/paste When life hands you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it. If you have ever burst out laughing about something in a book, and people look at you wierd, copy and paste this on your profile. If you have a tendency to talk/sing to yourself copy and paste this to your profile. Have you ever tried having a thumb war with yourself?? I have. (I found that I'm a very tough opponent.) If you have just tried having a thumb war with yourself, copy and paste this on your profile. If you find Spongebob funny SOMETIMES, but most of the time he is SO annoying you want to throw the TV out the window, copy and paste this on your profile. If you have ever pulled on a door that said push, or vise versa, copy and paste this on your profile. If you have ever stayed up past 2 in the morning reading, copy and paste this on your profile. (More like all night! :D) If random songs pop into your head for no apparent reason, copy and paste this on your profile. If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile. If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fan fictions, copy and paste this to your profile. If you think that Writer's Block blows, copy and paste this to your profile. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile! People say that I'm weird, but I think that weird is strange, and strange is odd, and odd is different, and different is unique, and everyone is unique, so unique is normal, so therefore I am normal. If the same is true for you, copy this onto your profile! If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this to your profile. If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this to your profile. If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this to your profile. If you like smiley faces, then copy this into your profile XD If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this to your profile. If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you are reading this line, copy and paste it in ur profile. If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer. If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this to your profile. If you are not sure if you find these 'copy and paste things' annoying or if you love them, copy and paste this on your profile. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azmanig huh? So wait, does that mean I never have to deal with spellcheck's bullshit again because it dosent matter? WOOOOOO! 1. Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. 2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. 3. Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. 4. Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. 5. Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. 6. Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. 7. Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place. 8. Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. 9. Only in America...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures' 10. Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering. The Book of Log Honorary Member of The Book of Log. If you worship the holyness that is the log, copy and paste this section onto your profile... although you may want to change the comments Position: Log Worshipper (Since 08/20/2013) Possible Book of Log Positons: Log Worshipper: Beginning position. No requirements Log Priest: You have created at least 1 Naruto related fanfic that frequently (every 2-4 chapers) praises the almighty log and actually fits into the story Log Pope (there can be more than 1 pope... its safer that way): you have created 3 naruto related fanfics that frequently praise the almighty log OR the Fanfic that already occasionally praises the log has at least 400 reviews OR you create a (decently made) Naruto fanfic focused on praising the log... log forbid. Excerpt of the log number 124: when using the log to escape a fire jutsu, it is konoha custom to write an apology letter to the log, and depending on rank of jutsu escaped from depicts how many words are needed. c-rank, two thousand, B-rank, one thousand five hundred, a-rank, one thousand. only S-rank and higher or excused from the writing of the letter. even then, it is still reccommended. Log excerpt number 231: if konoha shinobi celebrate the holiday of Christmas, then it is required that they put gifts under the Christmas log. Use of a full tree is an insult to the log and if found out that shinobi is uneligible from using the log for a period of two months. Log excerpt number 437: Use of the log in a situation that clearly could be avoided using a variety of other methods or techniques is looked down upon. In order to repent for such actions, the following steps should be taken: For every dent caused by your replacement you shall plant one sapling. For every stab wound caused by your replacement you shall plant five saplings. For every hole in the log caused by your replacement you shall plant ten saplings. For every detached piece of the log caused by your replacement you shall plant one sapling per square inch of detached log. For a destroyed and unusable log caused by your replacement you shall plant twenty-five saplings. If your log is defective you may call 1-800-BAD-LOGS to file a complaint. If your case is proven correctly your next replacement will be half off. 'and the willow sayeth unto the ninja: wherefore dost i weep? 'tis tears of joy, as thy kin and mine together fell thine foes, who would bring the axe and torch to the wood. the log ist thine ally, and mine kin. calling upon the log, is to call upon me. to aid thee in battle, i weep my tear of joy. and the ninja spoke: yea, thee and thine kin shall forever be blessed among me and mine kin. for thine bravery will never be forgotten.' -book of the log, song of the willow, verses 1-4 'as the log takes your place, you become the log. the log becomes you. for a moment, you are an extension of the logs blessing unto ninja.' -book of the log, chronicle of the replacement verse 3 'you are fools! your log is but a mockery of the power of ninja!- the ninja from the desert declared. and the people shook their heads. you have been denied the log for a long time, sandwalker. we cannot force you to see the glory of the log, but know this. when the time comes, and you have no other allies to call upon, the log will hear your prayers, and aid you.' -book of the log, redwood journals verses 15-16 'and as the smoke cleared, his foe stared in awe at the log. blackened and charred, the log crumbled. the ninja, filled with righteous wrath, fell upon his foe and slew him. he made his way to the log, and wept. his companion, the log that had accompanied him through so many battles, was no more. he spoke thus to his fallen companion: though now you have fallen in battle, you rest where the logs forever grow. the forest of life called for you, and you answered its call, as you did mine. i thank you my friend.' -book of the log, honor of the forest canticle I, verses 78-82 'he despaired, for in this place of stone and earth, there was no logs to be found. reaching out with all his might, he begged for a log in the forsaken wasteland. and he was answered, and saved by the log, in a place where there were none. -book of the log, wanderers saga, verses 7-9 'the log took his place and fell, forever into the abyss. the people, hearing of this, railed against him, in such numbers he swore to never endanger another log again. for many years, he fought without the log, growing more and more weary with each passing day. finally, he came across a foe that was too strong for him. as his life was about to end, he felt a familiar pull, and found himself out of harms way, seeing a log in his place. his stunned foe was felled in his stupor, and he approached the log, he knew it, for it was the same that fell so long ago. he asked of the log: why did you endanger yourself for me again? have you not done enough for me? and the log spoke: it is my duty, and our bond. we exist to save the ninja, and they exist to save the trees. we both play a part, for which i am content.' -book of the log, honor of the forest canticle II, verses 59-70 Let it be known that it is absolutely forbidden to willingly perform the technique known as "1000 years of death" on a log. It is also equally frowned upon for one to replace oneself with a holy log for the purpose of avoiding said technique. The punishment for such actions is at least 6 months of banishment from the use of the holy log. The Twelve Commandments of the Log 1 Thou shalt never hurt a Log purposely. 2 Thou shalt take care of the Log and the Log shalt take care of thee. 3 Every 365 Moon Cycles thou shalt make a crusade to the Great Tree and make an offering so the Log will prosper. 4 When thou commits heresy thou will be transformed to a disgraced Log and will burn Eternally in the unholy fires of Hell. 5 When thou has died and lived the ways of the Log dutifully thou shalt take place in the afterlife in the Forest of Life. These are the Primary Commandments and you must obey them always. When your training progresses you shall learn more of them. Nevertheless here are tips to live by the Log: 1) Always use Rice Paper. Using Log Paper is frowned upon. 2) At least pray thrice a day to the Great Tree. 3) Try, with thy utmost effort, to spread the Holy Teachings of Log. 4) When evil is committed to an Log commit justice to the heretic. ( Keep in mind that 95% of the world are disbelievers and that these rules are not used in the government system so act discretely.) 5) When you make an offering to the Great Tree always be respectful , even if the Great Tree does not answer. 6) Thy will find a companion in a Log with which thee should go everywhere, and it shalt become thy travelers Log. 7) Where Holy life sap is spilled plant a seed there so a tree may prosper there. 8) When writing the apology to the Log who saved your life name at least 5 reasons why you could not act otherwise. 9) When a log Priest or Pope is nearby greet him and the Log he carries. 10) If you follow the ways dutifully the Log Pope may grant you with some life sap of the Greet Tree itself! Drink it and may you be closer to the Tree and the Log. 11) When one of the messengers of the Tree itself is nearby bow for him for the Great Log Sage will only grace the holiest of worshipers with his advice, whether through messenger or not. 12) Embrace the Squirrel Summons as your companions if they grace you with their presence. |
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