About Me

Hobbies:

Painting

Favorite show:

My babysitter's a vampire and spider man cartoon

Crush:

mary jane on spider man

Favorite singer:

The guy who sings the spider man theme song

Favorite animal:

dogs and zombies

Favorite colors:

red and yellow

Favorite food:

banana and cake

Favorite drink:

milk

Favorite ships:

zack and Max from sweet life clay and ellena from bitten and Aidan and Sally from being human and GWEN AND DUNCAN FOREVER!!!!!

Extra:

hi so here's little bit about me I am 4 and having my sweet fantastic smart super funny awesome cute friendly zombie eminem (the rapper) lover sister G write this.

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your parents spend the first part of your life teaching you to talk and walk and spend the rest telling you to sit down and shut up If you have an annoying younger--or older-- sibling, please copy and paste this into your profile.

this story is about Jesus.read if you believe in him.

a teenage girl about 17 named diane had gone to visit some friends the time passed quickly as they shared there various experiences from the year.

she ended up staying longer then planned and had to walk home alone.she was not afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

as she walked along the tall elm trees she asked Jesus to keep her safe from harm and danger.when she came to a ally that was a shortcut to her house she decided to take it.however halfway down the ally she noticed a man standing at the end as though he was waiting for her.she became uneasy and began to pray asking for Jesus's protecion.instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped around her she felt as though someone was walking with her.as she reached the end of he ally she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

thfollowing day she read in the newpaper a girl had been killed in the ally just twenty minutes after she was there.feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her she began to cry thanking the lord for her safety and praying that the girl made it to heaven.she decided to go to the police station. she felt she could recognize the man.she told the police her story.they asked if she would be willing to look at the lineup to see if she could identify the man.she agreed and immediately pointed the man she had seen the night before out.when the police told the man he had been identified he broke down and confessed.the officer thaned her for the help and asked if they could do anything for her and she asked if they could ask him why did he not get her.he said because there were to men beside her.

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EVER WONDER

why the sun lightens our hair but darkens our skin

why girls cant put mascara on with their mouth closed

why you'v never seen the headline psychic wins the lottery

why is abbreviated is such a long word

why doctors call their work practice

why is lemon juice is made with artificial flavor and dishsoap is made with real lemons

why is the man who invests your money is called a broker

why is the slowest time of day called a rush hour

why is their not mouse flavor cat food

why dont sheep shrink in the rain

why do they call them apartments when they are all hooked together

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1.my mother taught me to appreciate a job well done"if you are gonna kill eachother go outside i just cleaned the house"

2.my mother taught me my religion"you better pray that will come out of the carpet"

3.my mother taught me time travel"if you don't straighten up i'm gonna knock you into the middle of next week"

4.my mother taught me logic"because i said so thats why"

5.my mother taught me more logic"if you fall out of those swings and break your neck you not going to the store with me"

6.my mother taught me foresight"make sure you wear clean underwear in case you have an in case your in an accident"

7.my mother taught me irony"keep crying and i'll give you something to cry about"

8.my mother taught me about the science of osmosis"shut up and eat your supper"

9.my mother taught me contortionism"will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck"

10.my mother taught me about stamina"you'll sit there until all that spinach is gone"

11.my mother taught me weather"this room of yours looks like a tornado went though it"

12.my mother taught me hypocrisy"if i told you once i'v told you a million times dont exaggerate"

13.my mother taught me the circle of life"i brought you in to this world i can take you out"

14.my mother taught me behavior modification "stop acting like your father'

15.my mother taught me envy"there are a million less fortunate children in the world who dont have wonderful parents like you"

16.my mother taught me about anticipation"just wait until we get home"

17.my mother taught me receiving"your gonna get it when you get home"

18.my mother taught me medical science"if you dont stop crossing your eyes there gonna freeze like that"

19.my mother taught me esp"put your sweater on don't you think i know when cold"

20.my mother taught me humor"when that lawn mower cuts your toes off don't come running to me"

21.my mother taught me how to become an adult"if you don't eat your vegetables you'll never grow up"

22.my mother taught me genetics"i swear your just like your like father"

23.my mother taught me about my roots"shut that door behind you do you think you were born in a barn"

24.my mother taught me wisdom"when your my age you'll under stand"

25.my mother taught me about justice"i hope when you have kids they turn out ten times worse"

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ninety five percent of kids just care about being cool if you are part of the five percent that dont copy this on your profile

if you think being unique is cooler then being cool than copy this on your profile

there nothing wrong about arguing with yourself its when you argue with yourself and lose thats weird if you agree copy this on your profile

if you ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason copy this on your profile

need a laugh

everyone has a photographic memory some just don't have film

they say guns don't kill people people kill people but im pretty sure people couldn't kill people if they just stood there and yelled bang

life is not passing me by it is trying to run me over

when everything is coming your way you're in the wrong lane

when i die i want to go peacefully like my grandfather...not like the screaming passengers in the back seat

364 days a year parents teach kids not to take candy from strangers yet on Halloween it is encouraged why is that

of all things i lost i miss my mind the most

for me to have lost my mind i would have to get one first

ofcouse i am out of my mind it dark and scary in there

they say im suffering from insanity but im in joying every minute of it

amateurs built the ark proffessionals built the titanic

when some one is annoying you it takes 42 muscles to frown at them but it only takes 4 muscles to punch them

dont you dare tell me the sky is the limit when there is footprints on the moon

2 things are infinite the universe and human stupidity

why arent safty pins as safe as they say

WARNING do not follow in my foot steps i often tend to crash into walls ... and off the occasional cliffs

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i didint fall i was just testing gravety

every one is entitled to there own opinion its just that yours is stupid

intelligence is chasing me but im beating it so far

dont be stupid it might make you famous

actual meanings of terms TEAMWORK someone you can blame it on HARDWARE the part of a computer you can kick when there are software problems IMPATIENT waiting in a rush INFLATION paying todays prices with last years salary

i love making friends i usually prefer to make them with plaster and give them funny hats

New year resolutions you can actually keep! Skip more classes in school. Call in sick at work more. Go shopping more often. Eat more unhealthy food like fries and burgers. Drink more pop cans instead of freshly squeezing healthy fruits. Do less exercise and watch more TV-unknown

Newspaper ad: Hiring clowns, must be serious

My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden

You laugh because I'm different... I laugh cause I just farted!

I'll do the stupid thing first and then you shy people follow .

Store front sign: Entire store on sale, everything $1 or more.

If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure.

The future is not what it once used to be...

Funny sign at health spa: Fresh 10,000 year old mud for sale.

What's the best thing to do if you want to keep your hair when it starts falling out? Put it in a box.

I'm going to open a new Facebook account named 'Anonymous' so all the cool quotes will be attributed to me!

This is a quantum car. I don't know where I am, but I'm going really fast.

Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter... people the opposite.

It's not important to win, it's important to make the other guy lose.

A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.

You never run out of things that can go wrong.

How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?

Silence is golden. Too bad nobody is buying.

Newspaper Ad. FREE PUPPIES: Half cocker spaniel, half sneaky neighbors dog.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

If there is a wrong way to do something, then someone will do it.

You know the speed of light; so what is the speed of dark?

Never stand between a dog and the fire hydrant.

Never moon a werewolf.

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.

Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river.

Everyone wants your happiness. Don't let them take it!!

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

When is yelling during a robbery a bad idea? When you have gold teeth.

Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.

I love my computer because all my friends live inside it!

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Things to do on an Elevator

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7) SAY -DING at each floor.

8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

18) DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it

23) Look around and announce in a creepy,demonic voice,"I must find a more suitable host..."

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Funny XD-worthy labels and warnings

On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". (So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.)

On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a package of pasta after the cooking insturctions: "Put on fork and eat." (No! Really? We're supposed to eat food?!)

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's just a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down. (Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldn't that save more time?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds with colds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. (One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children. (hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)

On a string of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. (but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. (somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..)

On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands. (Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

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The Insanity Test

(x) You have screamed at an inanimate object for 'hurting you.'

(x) You have ran into a glass/screen door.

(x) You have jumped out of a moving vehicle.

(X) You have thought of something funny and laughed, and then people gave you weird looks.

(x) You have run into a tree/bush.

(x) You have been called a blond.(i am blonde)

(X ) You know that it IS possible to lick your elbow.

(X) You just tried to lick your elbow.

(X) You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star had the same melody.

(X) You just sang them to make sure.

(X) You have tripped on your own feet and fallen.

(X) You have choked on your own spit.

(x) You have seen the Matrix and still don't get it.

( X) You type with three fingers or less.

() You have accidentally caught something on fire.(my mom has)

(x) You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose.

(X) You have caught yourself drooling

() You have fallen asleep in class.

(X) Sometimes you just stop thinking.

(X) Sometimes when you are telling a story you forget what you are talking about.

(x) People often shake their heads and walk away from you

(x) You are often told to use your 'inside voice.'

(X) You use your fingers to do simple math.

(X) You have eaten a bug accidentally...

(X) You are taking this test when you should be doing something more important.

(X) You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn't realize it.

(X) You've looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand/pocket the whole time.

() You have posted bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen if you don't.

(X) You break a lot of things.

(X) You tilt your head when you're confused.

() You have fallen out of your chair before.

(X) When you're lying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture on the ceiling.

(X) The word "um" is used frequently.

(X) You don't know what "um" means.

(X) You say "what" and "huh" a lot.

(x) You plan to use a calculator to multiply your score for this bulletin.

My sisters account is MarshalMattersFan and her best friends account is daryldixonrules

Father Farmer Friend rest in peace Hershal

Father Enemy Killer rot in hell Governor