This was 1987; before the Internet, before Twitter, before Facebook – this was back when it was still possible for people not to know about things: big things - like bands, and little things - like G-spots. AH, ExB, with some other parings along the way.

Bella is walking home during a blizzard and stumbles on a homeless man on the ground. Despite her better judgment she decides to save him from the cold, and the night turns into something she never expected. ON TEMP. HIATUS.

"I don't even realize that the air has gotten hazy. Or that it smells like skunk, or that amidst the clouds of smoke, leaning against the wall is Edward Cullen." - AH, E/B, Lemons.

Christian and Ana wake up on a hotel bed, naked and with no memory of their previous night. They're strangers to each other and the situation is awkward enough but things turn even worse when they discover a wedding-band and an awfully tacky tattoo on their fingers and butts.

The fifty moments that made Christian fifty shades.

Edward has an issue with Bella Swan that can't be found in the employee handbook. AU, goofy. Complete.

Edward Cullen can't find something that's very important to him...his wang. But that's what happens when you are 363 pounds. Bella Swan is his only chance to live a real life and find what's missing and so much more. No angst, a tiny bit of drama. Rated M