Fear me, for I am Shrimpler!

For I am to shrimp as Hitler is to Jews!

(Note- Sorry if that offended you. My dad's Jewish. You can't really complain. He hates anything Naziish.)

Pre-Warning- This has officially become my account for dumping my CFS inspired Crack Fics. Yeah. I warn thee now, you now tread upon holy ground. Run for your lives, ye whom know not why these be.

I'm also on DeviantArt.

Random Soldier- Colonel, letter for you from Central. They call it ‘encouragement,’ but it sounds more like they’re complaining again.

Roy- I already went and talked to them! Make a paper airplane out of it or something.

-Hagaren Novel 2- The Abducted Alchemist

Havoc- So, any insights from your experimentations in paper aviation?

Roy- I’ve discovered a correlation between the rank of the writer and the aerodynamic qualities of the finished plane. The higher the rank, the better they fly.

Havoc- You don’t say?

Lots of paper airplanes- (Scattered around Roy’s office)

Havoc- So, were I to make a paper airplane out of one of your letters, Colonel, It would go to about here? (Points to a spot in the middle of the room) And one of mine would land about. . . here? (Points to a spot closer to Roy’s desk)

Roy- No. (Shakes his head) I’m afraid your twisted sense of humour interferes with flight adjustments. You’d end up somewhere around here. (Points to the area around his garbage can)

-Hagaren Novel 2- The Abducted Alchemist

Edward looked up and saw them standing in the doorway. He charged, arms waving, his face red with rage. This was no abducted troublemaker. This was an abducted madman.

-Hagaren Novel 2- The Abducted Alchemist

“You know what this is called, mister?” Alphonse drew back his arms. “It’s called resisting arrest. And resistance. . . is futile.” (Proceeds to knock Gael out)

-Hagaren Novel 2- The Abducted Alchemist

Ed- Hmm. You think I overdid it?

“Overdid it? Now that’s the last thing I expect to hear you say,” Roy said, smiling. “Have you seen the first three floors of this factory lately? It’s like. . . a work of art. Really bad art.”

Ed- (Glares)

-Hagaren Novel 2- The Abducted Alchemist

“The Fullmetal Alchemist’s been kidnapped?”

No one in that office at Eastern Command could believe it.

“The poor sod,” Roy muttered under his breath. He had a hard time believing someone could have abducted a State Alchemist—they were like walking, breathing weapons. And that is was Edward who had been taken. . . Roy found himself pitying the man who had to deal with him. Once again the office filled with a cacophony of voices.

“Takes guts to kidnap him!”

“Who would want to kidnap that kid?”

“Whoever did it is sure going to regret it.”

“We should hold a service for the poor guy.”

Every person in the room knew how Edward got when he was angry, and none of them wanted to be in the kidnapper’s shoes right now. Even Alphonse hadn’t been that concerned.

-Hagaren Novel 2- The Abducted Alchemist

Al- I’m guessing my brother did that. (Is looking at a REALLY messed up factory.)

“Your brother was always a bit of a show-off,” Roy replied, though he knew this was hardly news to Alphonse.

There was much one could respect about Edward: his commitment to duty, his mental endurance. But sometimes, his actions crossed the lines between reasonable and overkill.

Hidden Arrow Wolf- (Is thinking) ‘Yeah. That defiantly counts as overkill.’

-Hagaren Novel 2- The Abducted Alchemist

Roy- If I’d known that one little word could set you off like that, I wouldn’t have even needed to come in here. I could have just shouted from outside with a megaphone and let you handle them all.

-Hagaren Novel 2- The Abducted Alchemist

I'm not annoying. You're just easily annoyed.

-Russell, Hagaren Novel 1- The Land of Sand

Meanwhile, Edward and Russell were wasting their alchemy talents throwing chunks of courtyard at each other.

-Excert from Hagaren Novel 1- The Land of Sand