Hello people Im Flameus a writer with a hunger to read and write. I like anime and ecchi manga, and other types, why you ask because im a pervert and a man.

My stories with be filled with nonsense, and violence among other things. For the ladies i'll say this i hate yaoi stop making it and maybe if i feel like it i'll write a love story how many pages it will have depends on my interest for it got it if ya have a suggestion tell me.

Age: 17

Anime: Bleach, One Piece, Naruto to name a few.

Type of person i am: Lazy, tired, goofy, insane with some sanity, and violent which will show in my stories.

Manga: Ane Doki, Lucu Lucu, Chaosic Rune, and Rappi Rangai to name a few.

Qoutes i like:

-If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried

-Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

-Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

-Guns don’t kill people. Bullets kill people.

-I ran with scissors, and lived!

-You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you hurt, I hurt, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

-It takes 42 muscles to frown, but only 4 muscles to reach out and bitch slap that motherfucker who made you frown.

-They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

-Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

-Never bring a knife to a sword fight.

-When you open a can of whoop-ass, Chuck Norris jumps out.

-Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know when Chuck Norris is going to kill you.

-Oxygen requires Chuck Norris to live.

-Chuck Norris doesn't have a bank account. He just tells the bank how much he needs

-If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down

-If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

-Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

-The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

-Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

-Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

-The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.

-Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.

-Chuck Norris, Vin Diesel and Arnold Schwarzenegger have all died and are in Heaven. Each of them hope to occupy the seat next to God. God asks Vin Diesel why he thinks he should have the seat and Vin replies, "I believe... I should have the seat because of the virtuosity in my toughness and pride." Arnie says, "I believe... that I should be the one sitting next to you because of all my achievements." God then turns to Chuck Norris, who replies with, "I believe... you are sitting in my seat."

-When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.

- Chuck Norris once survived a suicide bombing. He was the bomber.

-Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.

-Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

-Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.

-Little kids enjoy lighting ants on fire with magnifying glasses. Chuck Norris enjoys lighting little kids on fire with ants. Scientists have yet to find out how this feat is achieved.

-If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's fucking beef.

-We all know the magic word is please. As in the sentence, "Please don't kill me." Too bad Chuck Norris doesn't believe in magic.

-Chuck Norris once went on Celebrity Jeopardy and answered, "Who is Chuck Norris?" to every question. It was the first and only time in Jeopardy history that a contestant answered every single question right.

-At birth, Chuck Norris came out feet first so he could roundhouse kick the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Chuck Norris but Chuck Norris

-A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

-Chuck Norris has to sort his laundry into three loads: darks, whites, and bloodstains.

-If at first you don't succeed, you are obviously not Chuck Norris.

-Geico saved 15 by switching to Chuck Norris.

-If you see Chuck Norris crying he will grant you a wish, if your wish is dying.

-They say that lightning never strikes the same place twice. Neither does Chuck Norris. He doesn't have to.

-Water boils faster when Chuck Norris watches it.

-Chuck Norris is allowed to talk about Fight Club.

-The only thing we have to fear is fear itself... The only thing fear has to fear is Chuck Norris.

-The most effective form of suicide known to man is to type "Chuck Norris" into Google and hit "I'm Feeling Lucky!”

-Chuck Norris never gets brain freeze. Slurpees know when to back the fuck off.

-Chuck Norris refers to himself in fourth person.

-Switzerland isn't really neutral. They just haven't figured out what side Chuck Norris is on yet.

Chuck Norris doesn't give Christmas presents. If you live to see Christmas, that is your Christmas present from Chuck.

-Chuck Norris ends every relationship with "Its not me, its you".

-Chuck Norris was sending an email one day, when he realized that it would be faster to run.

-Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

-Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".

-Chuck Norris can speak Braille.

-Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.

-Gravity doesn’t exist. Mr. T just pities everything to stay the fuck down. Birds and planes are exempt because they are shaped like Ts

Story Qoutes.

-"Just the best pictures of Kyuubi, that's all!" He said with a thumbs up and Gaara once again reminded herself that this was her boyfriend.

"More like the worst pictures of Kyuubi. They did me no justice, I'm surprised that you can even draw seals correctly!"

'Your just jealous!'

"Jealous of what?!"

'..THAT YOU DON'T HAVE THUMBS TO DRAW WITH!' Kyuubi was confused and looked at his paws and realized the boy's implication.

"Son of a bitch."-The Fox and The Sand Maiden ch.5 (the owner of this story erased it, but damn it was good.)

Everyone face faulted but didn't say anything. Nobody went against Hokage-sama. No-one. They just didn't.-Naruto has a new 'pet' ch.33

That kid has guts.

You said it. I wonder if it was something I said?

Evidently, it was.

Well, let's go have some fun!

You're going to kill the broad's kidnappers? Clearly, the Kyubi was confused.

Yeah. Wanna make something of it?

No thanks. I'm good.

You're learning; I'm so proud!

Your sarcasm is blistering.

You're welcome!- The laughing Fox ch.7

How else do you expect to improve your rank? Archons gain status by how many evil beings they slay; demons increase in rank and power by killing other demons. It's killing two birds with one sword."

"Don't you mean, "Two birds with one stone?"", Naruto asked.

"Well if you want to try killing him with a stone, go for it. It had better be a big rock, I mean a big ass rock, just a huge fucking rock."

"Blood... are you high or something?", Naruto asked, finding the hybird's words slightly comedic.

"Battle high. It'll pass... wasn't even a real battle."

"What did you do?"

"Dropped a rock on him."

"... a big rock?"

"A big ass rock."

"Just a huge fucking rock?"

"Yep."- Naruto, The Bloody Maelstrom ch.3

"Wait." Tenten said. "If you're over there, then who…" She turned to the Ghost in the middle of the group, who proofed in a cloud of smoke and in its place emerged a medium sized model cow covered in exploding tags.

"COOOOOOOWWWWW!" Shouted Kiba as he and everyone else in his age group stared to turn away and run as fast as they could from the suicidal model bovine.

BOOOOOM!

Ghost chuckled as his students were blown in multiple directions at once. "There are no innocents. There is only the hunted, and the cows."- Yet again with a little extra help ch.20

(The Next Day – Kaisha Hein HQ)

Kakashi, Rin, and Obito walked into their office early in the morning to find Naruto sprawled out on his back, sleeping directly on one of the desks there shirtless, covered in dry blood mostly caking his arms and hands under his nails, and smelling slightly of cleaning supplies. The three long-time partners stared at each other before Obito walked over to Naruto and grabbed his nose, holding it shut in an effort to wake him up. All this managed to do was force Naruto to mouth-breathing which forced him to snoring loudly, getting a sweatdrop out of all three elder mercenaries.

Rin walked over and shoved Obito away so that she could stroke his cheek and try stirring him gently, "Wake up Naruto-kun… wake up now…" A tick mark formed on her head when he didn't even budge a hint, "You're sleeping on my desk damn it, wake up!" She said, clearing him off as if he were office clutter onto the floor.

"Ow…" Naruto moaned lowly picking himself up with help from the nearby desk he had been sleeping on, "So mean… can't you let me sleep. I had a long day yesterday and a shitty night."

Kakashi raised his visible eyebrow, "And how shitty of a night are we talking about for you to wind up here sleeping in our office?"

Naruto's lips quirked in slight amusement as he answered, "How high on the shit-o-meter does having your house blow up in flames register as?" He quipped as he looked at the dry blood on his body, "Just so you all know, none of this is mine… I think."

Rin checked him over quickly to make sure he was alright, "What happened to you anyway? Who blew your apartment up? Was it another assassination attempt? Where's your shirt?" She kept asking him rapid-fire questions as her worry for him started becoming more and more evident with each one.

"I was attacked in my apartment by some guy that I think works with someone that was in my classes during the last week of school." Naruto began to explain as he started stretching himself out, "I'm not sure what it was meant to be really, I wound up blowing the apartment up myself by total accident, but it should be okay."

"How could it possibly be okay?" Kakashi wondered. There was no way Naruto would swallow his pride and move in with any of them… besides it was a bad idea anyway. He ran a very high risk of catching Kakashi and Rin in the act so to speak as well as vice-versa with Naruto and Kyuubi among other potential happenings, and he would probably wind up murdering Obito in his sleep if he stayed with him. Obito just had that kind of sparkling personality, "What in the world are you going to do?"

Naruto waved off his concern, "I didn't have anything in that apartment other than what I had in my bag that was worth anything, and I was going to move out soon anyway into a new place, one more girlfriend-friendly. Now's perfect since she should still be out of town so I can keep her dad from finding out where I go." He then laughed evilly, "It's going to be so awesome! I was going to get up early and see if I could pay off a few month's rent on the one I liked the most today and just move right in."

Obito scratched his head in a puzzled manner as Naruto continued to cackle rather evilly, "You know, you're taking the whole 'I-got-attacked-in-the-dead-of-night-and-got-my-house-blown-up' thing really well runt. I'm kind of proud of you."

Naruto shrugged, "I'm different. I've got a different bodily make-up Obito-nii. I have a different brain, I have a different heart. I've got tiger-blood man."

"Aww." Rin cooed as she grabbed Naruto and pulled her close to him in a hug as she rubbed the back of his head gently. Before he could even really start to enjoy it she then held him at arm's length and glared at him, "If anything like this ever happens again and you don't call me or one of us I'm going to surgically implant a cell phone into your forearm so you never forget, understood?"

Kakashi looked at a mortified Naruto in amusement as he spoke to his wife, "That's a little extreme don't you think Rin?"

"No." She replied honestly, "Naruto-kun is like my baby brother. He's like family. And if you're a part of my family I will love you violently!" Rin finished with a pump of her fist and a look of determination on her face that got Naruto to back off a few steps.

Obito stood nearby Kakashi as both of them blinked at her previous action. The black sheep Uchiha leaned over to his friend and whispered, "Yeah… you can really see the whole Kushina-sensei influence more and more in her these days."

Kakashi nodded in agreement, "Absolutely. Still… My wife is hot."

"Never said she wasn't." Obito hastily conceded in agreement only to get a side glare from Kakashi, "What I was just agreeing with you, damn..."

Rin then paid attention to the bloodstains on Naruto and the smell of industrial cleaning supplies wafting from him, "You need a shower Naruto-kun."

Naruto looked at himself and frowned, "Yeah, I know. Too bad there's nowhere to go until I get my new place. It comes with all of the utilities and everything so the first thing I do after I sign my name and fork over the cash."

"Who's going to rent an apartment out to a stinky, bloody kid?" Obito asked him jokingly.

Naruto gave him a deadpan look as he responded, "Someone with common sense that will realize that the question they should be asking isn't should they let me live there; it would be why am I bloody, what did a kid like me do to get the money to pay pretty much a year of my rent in advance, and does it have something to do with the blood?" Naruto then started putting his shoes on and threw his bookbag over his back, "But I guess you guys are right. I know where I can go to take a shower."

"Where are you going to go?" Kakashi asked, "It's Monday so you should be reporting to Jiraiya-sama today. It better not be too far away."

Naruto began walking out of the office and yawning, "It won't be. I'm just going somewhere to shower and get some decent sleep. Desks aren't as comfortable as I remember they were when I was a little kid. I'll be back in time to deal with Ero-sennin's training this afternoon."

"Where's this bike you keep telling us you have?" Kiba said to Naruto as he walked alongside Akamaru, not believing that the formerly penniless blonde had one when he didn't even have a car and wouldn't even dream of getting one until he turned sixteen and got his actual license.

"How are all three of us going to fit on a single motorcycle? Unless you're into that kind of thing." Naruto said, getting a paled look from Kiba, "That's why it's parked safely… somewhere." He scratched his head, "I forgot where I put it." He said in a nonchalant voice.

Sasuke palmed his face, "For Kami's sake, he lost his own bike…"

Naruto glared at him, "I didn't lose anything. It's just not here." He ignored both Kiba and Sasuke snickering at him and pointed at an apartment building, "Who cares about that right now? That's the place right there."

Sasuke looked over at a rather upscale-looking nine-story apartment complex, "So you're going to move into this place? It definitely looks like a step up from your old place."

"How do you blow up your own house?" Kiba asked Naruto in bewilderment, "My mom got a good kick out of hearing that one from you. You burned your apartment straight to hell, ha!"

Naruto rolled his eyes, "If I had a jar, a stick to stir, some lighter fluid, and some powdered sugar I could make ghetto napalm in twenty minutes." He cast a cold look over at Kiba, "I know you have all of that stuff in your house right now Kiba, and I can sneak into just about anywhere. Want me to show you how I blew my own house up?"

"No, I'm cool…" Kiba said, averting his eyes away from Naruto's. Even Akamaru subtly placed his body on the other side of his master, using Kiba's body as a buffer between him and Naruto.

"That's what the fuck I thought." Naruto muttered, mechanically flicking a blue fireball on and off in his hand in a threatening manner. Who was Kiba to crack jokes on him? He could blow up his own house if he wanted to… Not that he actually wanted to blow it up of course, but still... the principle was still there. Naruto: Soldiers of Fortune ch.38

If you are guilty of doing a British, Irish, Australian, Southern accent or Elvis impression, copy this in your profile

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If u already lost ur sanity copy and paste this to ur profile.

If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away then remebered, copy this into your profile.

Put an X if you have done these things things.

X You've run into a glass/screen door.

X You have thought of something funny and laughed, then people gave you weird looks.

X You have caught yourself drooling.

X You have fallen asleep in class and started to talk/drool, or snore.

X You break a lot of things.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, zElDaPhAnToM-bLiNdBaNdIt-RaVeN, Firehawk, Rainfire, Snowfur, Rayne Star, i wish anime guys were real, XxcrimsonxgothicxtidexX, Hoshi-Naito, silently.doomed, crusnik.gunslinger,Flameus

Check this out...

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling

was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

Flameus' Espada form's sword

Quote's people gave me

Xx BlackShadowWolf xX qoute- if at first you dont succeed reload the shotgun and try again

Things I came up with- note if you are going to use them make sure people know they property of Flameus.

1. Look your fear in the eyes and kick it in it's balls.

2. Don't fuck with the Spaniards, you'll wind up dead with a chicken head.

I guess thats everything for now so peace readers and writers.