Greetings to all of you who, like me, enjoy taking the easy way out in novel writing and simply steal from those who did all the work for us (joking). I will not disclose much personal information to the general populace, though if you message me and ask nicely I might disclose some of my secrets. I write Harry Potter fanfiction for a number of reasons, the first of them being that the original series is so terrible. The second reason is that much of the fandom lacks creativity (vide "A Casual Destruction of Fanon"). There are a few stories and authors that stand out like diamonds on this site, and I intend to both bring those gems to light and make a few of my own.

Much of my planned writing is varied in genre. I plan to do a story for many of the main "fanon" plot lines. Unlike some authors, I intend to actually create something unique, instead of just regurgitating half-baked plots onto a Word document and slapping my name on it. Be warned right now: Updates will be neither scheduled nor frequent. I have a busy life and this is far down on my "To Do" list. I care about my work, but to be completely honest, if my readers get upset by my lack of updates, I will lose no sleep over that. I write for mine own pleasure, and if I don't update as often as some autistic 15 year-old girl wants me to, sorry honey, but tough luck. As the French would say, c'est la vie.

A Casual Destruction of Fanon

1. Evil/Manipulative Dumbledore: I personally have nothing against Dumbledore. True, he is a manipulative man that caused more than his fair share of pain in the world, but the entire fan reaction to him is outrageous. Any writer who uses the term "the Greater Good of Albus Dumbledore" in a story is an imbecile. By definition, there cannot be a "Greater Good" of oneself. According to Google, the greater good is "...for the benefit of the many, not the few." By the law of identity, there cannot be a "Greater Good" of oneself. Quod Erat Demonstrandum. There are other examples of fallacious reasoning in the fan community's interpretation of Dumbledore. The claim that he sealed the Potter's will is my favorite one to dissect. As I recall, James Potter was an arrogant man, even after he matured. It is not much of a stretch to assume that he did not have a will in place before he went into hiding. He would have thought that he wouldn't die. After he and Lily went into hiding, he would not have been able to go to Gringotts or the ministry to file his will, as it would alert Voldemort and his Death Eaters to his presence, upon which he would have been captured, tortured, and murdered for the location of his home. Also, even if there was a will, who is to say that Dumbledore sealed it? Or if he was the executor? The last time I checked, banks don't send out monthly statements to children under the age of 12. The magical society, while backwards and ignorant in many ways, is unlikely to allow a 15 year-old boy to ascend to lordship of his house and thereby be exempt from the laws governing underage magic usage. Most of the people who ascribe to this interpretation of Dumbledore are simply 15-year old review-whores who simply steal others' work, which was in turn stolen from another five people. Honor among thieves? I think not. Here is a perfect example of a well written manipulative Dumbledore, though it is not the main focus of the story: Had I Known

2. Harry/Draco: Let's do a little exercise, shall we? Harry and Draco despise each other in canon, correct? Draco is a self-absorbed bully that throws his father's name around to get what he wants. The archetypical rich kid. Based off of my experiences with bullies, I am not likely (in fact, impossibly unlikely) to fall in love with my tormentor. The fan idea that he was abused growing up is utterly absurd. He is mindlessly devoted to his father, partially out of respect, mostly out of love (yes, he is capable of love). His main character development came in Book 6 when tasked with killing Dumbledore. He lost his delusions of the world when he joined Voldemort. He saw his father sniveling at Tom's boots and knew pain for the first time in his life. His behavior that year reflected that, withdrawing form his acquaintances and favorite activity. Now, the crux of my argument: relationships founded on mutual hatred cannot be stable nor real. The 15 year-old autistic fangirl is screaming "But there sooooo cuuteeeexxxxx". Personally, I lean towards the right myself, so I do not care much for homosexual relationships either in real life or in literature. I do not hate gays though, I just disagree with the community at large and their rampant promiscuity (the same is true about the heterosexual culture as well). That being said, there are a few incredibly good Harry/Draco stories on this site. I enjoy the writing and relationship building because it actually is a realistic relationship progression. Here are the ones I enjoyed: Faith, Saving Connor (This is the first book in a full series that totals well over 2.5 MILLION words. Read at your own risk).

3. Evil Weasleys: This one actually makes me angry. I'm ignoring the King's Cross station scene from Book 1 because I don't have a unique perspective of it. Molly Weasley is the near-archetypical overbearing mother. She lost both of her brothers in the war against Voldemort. That clearly affected her deeply, causing her to be a tad overprotective and domineering to her children. Yes, she made decisions for Harry in Book 5, but the fact that Harry obeyed her gave her authority over him. Ron's jealousy is his least endearing characteristic, but in light of how he grew up wearing hand-me-downs and used a second-hand wand, I think he can be forgiven. True, he did ditch Harry in Fourth year, but seeing as how nothing was done to quell the rumors about how Harry entered for himself, and how 1000 galleons is most likely an enormous sum of money, his anger is understandable. I will not explain away anybody's behavior in Book 7, as it was shoddily done and rather uncreative. Ginny... she is the only Weasley that I don't like. As stated previously, I do not appreciate the casual attitude our culture has toward sex, and she embodies that. I saw her and Harry as him "shacking up with the tower slut". That was wish fulfillment on Ms. Rowling's part, but the other possible canon pairing is also not great. Harry and Hermione would just turn out to be her becoming a brown-haired Mrs. Weasley (albeit not large or overprotective) and Harry the stay-at-home dad. I always pictured Harry as a bachelor, more a product of his poor social development growing up than lack of trying.

Those are my main pet peeves with fanon. Note: I do not have anything against people with autism, in fact I have a mild form of a type of it myself. Nor am I a misogynist for using a girl as an example. They are the ones who put Harry and Draco together most often anyways. 15 year-olds are just horrible people. No excuses are allowed.

Review Rules:

1. All reviews must be acceptable in an English class. If there are typos, word confusion (there instead of they're, etc.), or any grammatical errors (use your capital letters at the beginning of the sentence), they will be deleted. I proofread my works before I publish them, you can do the same for your reviews. Caveat: If the reviewer is from a non-English-speaking country (i.e. Germany), some errors will be allowed (such as tense confusion, foreign words, or some strange wording). For example, "This is a good story" is a good review. Lame and boring, yes, but acceptable. This "you suk i hope u burn in he'll" is a review that will be cast into the fiery pits of hell.

2. Flames are allowed. I embrace the right of free speech. I hope that my works will not attract pyromaniacs, but if they do not break the rules of acceptable English, they will stay.

3. Please, reviewers, no swearing! I, as an author, will sometimes include profane language in my works. When writing about teens, such a thing is unavoidable in order to portray them accurately. As a reviewer, you should not use profanity. If you do, it will be deleted. Caveat: if you quote a specific line from the chapter in your review and it contains profanity, it will stay. If you quote only the profanity to try to get away with the loophole afforded by that caveat, it will be deleted. Unacceptable language includes :a, b, b, any variation of f, s, and any racist terms, as well anything I missed that I find unacceptable.

Follow these simple rules and we'll get along wonderfully. If you find your review taken down and think it is unfair, message me with a copy of the original review, and I will decide again whether or not to allow it on again. Thank you for your cooperation!-Rabid Maniac