Welcome to my profile page. Assuming that human eyes do not tear themselves from their sockets from the intense experience of viewing the words I have burned into this HTML, you should be at least capable of realizing that I am, in truth, Sephiroth.

Though you may not be capable of much else. I wouldn't put money on you. Especially after viewing what passes for 'fiction' on this banal, contrived site.

The first thing that the sad lump of grey matter, somehow passing for a brain, sitting in your head may process is that I am not real. You would be correct, except for the fact that you are a human and are therefore by definition incapable of being right. I willed myself into existence after my mortal enemies informed me that there existed a site where blatantly disgusting and untrue things were being written about me on a constant basis. The fact that such things are also being written about them is even more irksome, as when you portray my sworn foes as a set of mental ward rejects and nincompoops, you reflect poorly upon my perfection. Therefore, I have decided to do something about the situation.

Before we continue, someone has dared to take up the mantle of my name, causing me to fall back upon using a simplistic honorific that barely describes the totality of that which is my ultimate being. Step forward of your own free will and I will only string you up by your lymph glands. Through your nostrils. Suspended over a brimming sea of human blood.

Believe me when I assure you that such a fate pales in comparison to what I will do to you if you continue to hide within the vast, semi-sentient pool of humanity.

Now that we have that out of the way, every time I see myself portrayed in a fashion that causes bile to rise into my throat, I will descend upon your story and attempt to make you a better human being by telling you precisely what you are doing wrong. This will make it more enjoyable when I sacrifice the new you on the altar of power, because your potential will have grown and you will therefore be worth more spiritual energy in the end. Everybody wins.

Additionally, though they are a group of sniveling homosexuals, my remnants are sadly part of my totality and as such are to be accorded the same respect as I would receive. Portray them innacurately at your own peril. Incestuous relationships will result in you accidentally impaling yourself through your mouth on my sword.

That is all for now. I will cooperate with Cloud and his lackeys in this venture, so that I might get back to the business of destroying this sad world without having to worry about poor public relations in the meantime.

P.S. The only thing I would like to stick into Aerith is my blade. Forget you ever wrote about any scenario diverging from this pure and simple truth.