I am not a happy person. No matter how hard I try, I cannot seem to make things go right in my life. I've thought of suicide many a time, but under a friends' recommendation, I have decided to try my hand at venting off by writing.

One main cause for my pain is relationships. They never go right, and something goes wrong. One of my girlfriends almost lost her mind because she pretty much suffered an identity crisis. She acted different around different people, and it screwed up her life so much she left me.

My other girlfriend, Stacy, had been in love with me for some time. After years of being just friends I realized I loved her too. I finally asked her out last Sunday (2-23-2003) and she said yes. I didn't see or talk to her Monday, and Tuesday (2-25-2003) I found out from her brother that she had died. She was on her porch balcony, 2 stories high, and she had a seizure. She was 16.

If you want to know more about me, I'm 15, I live in Michigan, and, quite frankly, I want to die. (Aren't I just the life of the party?) I tried writing a poem about Stacy, but I screwed up writing it and uploading it. It wasn't that good anyway. I'm thinking of writing some sort of a Medievil-times story sometime in the future. It probably won't go, but keep checking back anyways.