Six truths in life

1. You cannot stick your tongue out and look up at the ceiling at the same time: a physical impossibility

2. All idiots, after reading this will try it

3. And discover that it's a lie

4. You are smiling now because you are an idiot.

5. You will soon post this on your profile for another idiot to see.

6. There is still a stupid smile on your face.

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.
If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive seconds...copy/paste this into profile.
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

7 Ways to get over Fictional Characters:

You don't.
You won't.
You can't.
Don't even try.
You really won't.
You just can't.
It's impossible.

REALLY, WHY BOTHER?

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 81, and find line 4.

“ – While he emptied the contents of the box onto the –” - Eve by Anna Carey

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What can you touch?

A photo frame.

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?

The Bachelor (It's on right now)

4. Without looking, guess what time it is:

8:15

5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?

8:15 (I checked the time ruffly 5 minutes ago. I swear I didn't cheat!)

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?

The people on The Bachelor talking

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?

Ummm about 4 hours ago (getting out of the car and walking inside)

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?

NirCele's profile.

9. What are you wearing?

A black skirt and a shirt with a cat holding a wanted sign on it.

10. Did you dream last night?

I don't remember my dreams, so no idea.

11. When did you last laugh?

Roughly 10 mins ago when I read the Idiot thing above.

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?

Three pictures and the T.V.

37 Things To Do In An Elevator

1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5. Meow occasionally.

6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.

7. Say "DING!" at each floor.

8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.

9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.

16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

21. Swat at flies that don't exist.

22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.

23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.

24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.

25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"

26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.

28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.

29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."

30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.

31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.

32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.

33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"

34. Tell people that you can see their aura.

35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."

36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time...