Hello everyone, I'm a person you've never met and you'll probably never get the chance to meet me. I don't like making profiles, so I'll try to make this short and sweet.

I'm of the female gender.

I'm older than 23 and younger than 25.

I have a family. A very annoying family. But I still love them anyway.

I'm a bitch who isn't afraid to flame the crap out of people. If you wrote a good story, you don't have to worry about me. I write more positive reviews than flames, but I'm not afraid to be mean to the little moron trolls on this website who think they can write.

Don't bug me and I won't bug you.

I'm a sweet person if you get on my good side. It actually isn't that hard to do. Just know how to write a legitimate story and you're all set! :)

I don't write fanfiction; I only read it. I write original stories that I don't bother posting online.

The crap that will earn you a flame from me:

1.) You rape the English language. (i.e. you can't spell or use proper grammar for shit.)

2.) You write Justin Bieber shit fics or any other type of crap about real people.

3.) You ignore the ToS (which goes hand-in-hand with number 2.)

4.) You TyPe LiKe ThIs!

5.) Or lyk3 thiis!

6.) OR LIKE THIS! ALL THE TIME!!

7.) You write OOC stories that make no effing sense.

8.) MARY-SUES AND SELF INSERTS!!!

9.) You have author's notes that're way too long and involve random conversations with the characters in the story or yourself.

10.) You review whore in an obnoxious way. (i.e. REVIEWREVIEWREVIEW, or "If you don't review my story, I'll kill everyone you love! MUAHAHA!")

11.) You have a habit of adding your own insight into the story randomly where it doesn't belong. (i.e. Draco strutted down the hall (A/N: Draco's such a jerk! LOLOLOL!) and then tripped on a ladybug!)

12.) You use chat-speak where it doesn't belong. Unless the characters are on AOL or texting (which is kind of weird for fanfiction), it's stupid and it makes you look like a moron.

13.) Cross-overs. I don't flame cross-overs very often since I don't usually read them. If I happen to read one and I actually like it, I'll leave you alone.

14.) You can't keep your storyline straight. (i.e. Harry flew to Ron's house on his Firebolt, talked to his cat, and had to walk back to Hogwarts because he forgot his broom!) or, my personal favorite screw-up, the ever-popular "a character dies and randomly comes back to life again with no explanation and nobody finds it strange!" plot flop.

15.) You bitch and whine when you get one constructive criticism review and you insist it's a flame. GET OVER IT. And along the same topic, people who brag about being an amazing writer when my 4-year-old cousin could write a better story. It's called accepting the truth.

Things that I like:

1.) Original characters that fit into the fandom and aren't amazingly perfect. As in, they aren't blindingly beautiful and every character wants to hook up with them. Extra points if said character doesn't date the main canon character.

2.) Authors who accept constructive criticism with a smile.

3.) Good writers who obviously care about what they're writing. Even if your grammar or spelling isn't amazing, if you're legitimately trying, I admire your dedication.

4.) Good writers who obviously get A's on their English assignments.

5.) Writers who can write stories above their age group and do an awesome job at it. I've met quite a few people on here who fit this description.

6.) People who, like me, aren't afraid to be assholes at times. (This is aimed at other reviewers rather than writers. If you bitch and moan like I mentioned earlier, that'll just add fuel to the fire.)

7.) People who, also like me, HATE any and all stories about the Jonas Brothers, Justin Bieber and Miley fricking Cyrus.

8.) You have believable storylines that are original and creative.

9.) You can fit canon characters into your original outline for your fanfic and still make it good enough to read.

10.) You're friends with the shift, enter and spacebar keys.

11.) You can make me cry during sad scenes in your stories. I cry a lot while reading fanfiction, but that's usually due to the fact that I'm laughing so hard at stupid crap fics that I end up crying. Making me legitimately cry is a hard feat to accomplish and it's only ever happened once. Can you make it happen again?

12.) You respect yourself and your reviewers.

Oh, and by the way, I don't read PMs or review replies, so go ahead and bitch me out for the flames I leave you. All you're doing is wasting your own time and amusing me when I see your stupidity show up in my e-mail. Have a nice day! :)