ABOUT ME

Name- Chocolate Cheerios

Age- Does it really matter? It changes yearly, just like everybody elses

I am not afraid to rant, but only if slightly provoked. Until that unfortunate soul does so... I'll try to keep the rest of you happy by keeping it short, sweet(sometimes), and down to the point.

I am a yaoi fan. Live with it.

I CANNOT spell for the life of me, and spell check doesn't always put in the right words... so bare with me.

Canon and me have a rocky relationship. Sometimes we get along, sometimes we don't. I will not bend my story to canon, I will bend what is considered 'canon' to fit my ideas. Don't be offended, or angry, or anything, that's just how I think.

Other little note, I have ONLY watched maybe, one or two Naruto episodes(Shipuden is a WHOLE different story). So, all my knowledge comes from Narutopedia and FanFiction. So again, bare with me.

The things I HATE most are as follows: Homophobics/homophobia (THESE BASTARDS NEED TO EITHER SEE THE BIG PICTURE OR DIE), prejudice, domestic abuse especially those done to children (THOSE BASTARDS NEED TO DIE, END THE CYCLE OF ABUSE), rapists, people who think they are better than others, emotional abuse, racism, sexism, people who enjoy hurting others and/or animals, single mindedness, and people who look the other way (or don't do anything) when they know someone is being hurt.

FAVORITES

Favorite Quote of All Time- Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will leave gashes that will fester for all eternity.

--FINALLY! Somebody got it right! I always wanted to tell the person that thought up that "words will never hurt me" line of bullshit to go to hell.--

Favorite Candy -Chocolate

Favorite Color- Green

Favorite Food- Baked Potatoes

Favorite Assistant Food(the kind you don't eat alone)- Butter. Think about it, it makes everything better. Well... most everything.

Favorite T.V. Show- Lie to Me

Least Favorite TV Show- LOST (They should make a sequel... FOUND)

Favorite Anime/Manga (In Order)

Naruto Shippuuden

Bleach

Inuyasha

Ouran High School Host Club

FUTURE WORKS

Title- Life After Death
Fandom(s)- NarutoXBleach
Rating- M for the safe-ness and freedom
Characters- Akatsuki & Soul Reapers
Summary- The Akatsuki always thought they would go to hell after they passed on. The crimes they've committed were anything but nice. But as it turns out, even the notorious Akatsuki can make mistakes, and they find themselves submurged into the their new life in the Seireitei... only one thing, they still have their memories!
A/N- I've been wanting to writing something like this for a long time now, and I thought I might as well start now. The inspiration comes form me mourning over the loss of my favorite characters death and then grief met Bleach and story was born.
Status- WiP

Title- Abstinence for Life
Rating- M
Fandom(s)- Naruto
Pairing- KisameXItachi
Summary- A lawyer with personal space issues, his personal assistant/ex-doctor/poker dealer, and a brash massage therapist in dire need of their help that just keeps showing up? How on Earth is that going to turn out?
Status- What Status?

Title- Unexpected
Rating- M
Characters/Pairing- Kenpatchi, Byakuya
Summary- They were two different people. Kenpatchi and Byakuya, polar opposites one might say. But a wise person once said that opposites attract. If you ask Kenpatchi he'll say that person was spewing bullshit. Ask Byakuya and he'll walk out on you before you even finish the statement. Now the question to be asked is are they in denial... or not?
A/N- I don't know what hit me, but this pairing has sparked my interest. How, I don't know, but I think it would be fun and a challenge to actually write a love story about these two... and pull it off! XD
Status- WS?

WARNING: THIS PROFILE MAY CONTAIN UNSUITABLE MATTER FOR MENTALLY STABLE READERS. IF YOU CANNOT HANDLE INSANE AMMOUNTS OF USELESS STUFF, VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

LAWS TO LIVE BY

Murphy's law:
1. If anything can go wrong, it will."
2. "If there's more than one possible outcome of a job or task, and one of those outcomes will result in disaster or an undesirable consequence, then somebody will do it that way."
3. "Whatever can go wrong will go wrong, and at the worst possible time, in the worst possible way."

Godwin's Rule of Nazi Analogies: As a discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches one.

Hanlon's Razor: 1. Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. 2. Never assume malice when stupidity will suffice.

Amara's Law: "We tend to overestimate the effect of a technology in the short run and underestimate the effect in the long run.

Benford's law of controversy: The Passion of an agruement is inversely proportional to the amount of real information available.

Dilbert Principal: The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management.

Paul’s Law: You can’t fall off the floor.

Gall's Law: "A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a simple system that worked."

Herblock's Law: If it's good, they'll stop making it.

Law of Probability Dispersal: Whatever it is that hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

Hutber's Law: "Improvement means deterioration".

Littlewood's Law: Individuals can expect a miracle to happen to them at the rate of about one per month.

Meadow's Law: One is a tragedy, two is suspicious and three is murder, until proved otherwise.

Muphry's Law: If you write anything criticizing editing or proofreading, there will be a fault of some kind in what you have written.

Okrent's Law: The pursuit of balance can create imbalance because sometimes something is true.

Parkingson's Law: Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion.

Peter's Principle: In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.

Reilly's Law: People generally patronize the largest mall in the area.

Roemer's Law: A hospital bed built is a bed filled

Rothbard's Law: Everyone specializes in his own area of weakness.

Sayre's Law: "In any dispute the intensity of feeling is inversely proportional to the value of the stakes at issue." By way of corollary, the law adds: "That is why academic politics are so bitter."

Schneier's Law: Any person can invent a security system so clever that she or he can't think of how to break it.

Segal's Law A man with a watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure."

Skitt's Law: a corollary of Murphy's Law, variously expressed as "any post correcting an error in another post will contain at least one error itself" or "the likelihood of an error in a post is directly proportional to the embarrassment it will cause the poster."

Stigler's Law: No scientific discovery is named after its original discoverer.

Sturgeon's Revelation: 90 percent of everything is crap.

Sutton's Law: Go where the money is.

Wiener's Law: There are no answers, only cross-references.

PICK UP LINES- THE GOOD, THE BAD, THE UGLY, AND THE WTF HAVE YOU BEEN DRINKING!?

--Me and all my guy friends were exchanging pick-up lines, and turn downs, or just funny little things like that for the most part. I think they were impressed with my 'turn down/pick-up' knowledge, they even had to look some up on the internet! And you may be wondering why on Earth a girl would be participating in such a thing. If you are, I can tell you that most of these came from me, not them. The others I just copied/paste from somewhere, or thought up. So, I don't mean, to be mean, to any guys out there, they were TRYING to think of stupid ones, and it's all in good humor! (I have to put this up, because someone actually got mad at how guys were portrayed... he's kinda weird, and has a bone to pick with me or something...)

I recently came across an interesting statistic:
Men who were successful when they used the pickup line "Hi": 71%
Women who were successful when they used the pickup line "Hi": 100%

She: Where are you from?
He: Mars, for all practical purposes. I gather you must come from Venus.
She: [disgustedly] No, I'm from Uranus.
He: Hmmm. Now that you're barking, I know that you come from Pluto.

He: Is this seat empty?
She: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

He: May I see you pretty soon?
She: Why? Don't you think I'm pretty now?

He: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
She: Yeah. That's why I don't go there anymore.

He: Your hair color is fabulous.
She: Thank you. Aisle three at the corner drug store.

He: Will you dance with me?
She: No, but thank you.
He: Don't thank me, thank God somebody asked you.

He: I'd like to call you. What's your number?
She: It's in the phone book.
He: But I don't know your name.
She: That's in the phone book too.

He: Wha'dya say to a little fuck?
She: Go away, little fuck.

He: So what do you do for a living?
She: Female impersonator.

He: You know, I'd really love to travel to exotic places with you.
She: (tries to ignore him)
He: You know what? I also love sex. What do you say to that?
She: Hmmm...you really love sex and travel?
He: (nods his head smiling)
She: Then go take a fuckin' hike!

He: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
She: Unfertilized

He: What sign were you born under?
She: No Parking.

After hearing a pick-up line: "I like your approach, now let's see your departure."

He: "Where have you been all my life?"
She: "For the first half of it, I wasn't even born yet."

He: I would go to the end of the world for you.
She: Yes, but would you stay there?

He: I'd go through anything for you.
She: Good! Let's start with your bank account.

He: Your body is like a temple.
She: Sorry, there are no services today.

He: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
She: Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

He: I can tell that you want me.
She: Ohhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

He: I want to give myself to you.
She: Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

He: I know how to please a woman.
She: Then please leave me alone.

He: What sign are you?
She: Do Not Enter.

He: Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason.
She: Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

He: Your place or mine?
She: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

He: Hey, baby, if you come home with me, I can show you a really good time.
She: You know what your problem is? Your mouth is writing cheques that your body can't cash.

He: Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?
She: Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

He: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.
She: That's nice. I don't have to rearrange the alphabet to put my to favorite letters together. N and O.

He: I saw your picture in the dictionary today...next to the word 'beautiful.
She: And I saw yours next to the word 'stalker'

He: Your eyes are as blue as my toilet water at home.
She: And your eyes are as desperate as my mothers when she watches all the hot men on the Batchlorette.

He: Say, wasn't I blissfully married to you in a past life?
She: Ya, and then violently devorced.

He: Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?
She: Is it cold in here, or did you just hit on me... and fail miserably?

He: Bond. James Bond.
She: No. No Thanks.

He: The spy agency has sent me here to save you. Take my hand and come with me.
She: Funny, the coroner sent me to get you. Now save me the trouble and die.

He: You should be someone's wife.
She: Great idea! Now excuse me while I go find a husband elsewhere.

He: If beauty were a crime, you'd be doin' life.
She: If stupid was a crime, you'd be on death row.

He: Will you go out with me?
She: Not a chance.
He: What was that?
She: What was what?
He: That sound.
She: I didn't hear anything.
He: It was the sound of my heart breaking.

He: Excuse me, can you give me directions?
She: To where?
He: To your heart

He: Do you sleep on your stomach?
She: No.
He: Can I?

He: Was you father an alien?
She: No, why?
He: Because there's nothing else like you on earth!

He: Excuse me, do you have a quarter I can borrow?
She: What for?
He: I told my mother that I would call her when I fell in love with the girl of my dreams

He: You're gorgeous. I'd really love to invite you out sometime.
She: No, thanks.
He: Aw, c'mon! Lower you're standards a little. I did...

He: Are you religious?
She: Yes.
He: Good, because I'm the answer to your prayers.

He: Do you have a boyfriend?
She: Yes
He: Well, when you want a manfriend, come and talk to me!

He: Hey baby, How would you like to join me in some math?
She: Umm... Sure?
He: We'll add you and me, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply!

-Give a girl a business card with the following:
Plain Facts: Scientists have determined that the average time for intercourse is four minutes. The average number of strokes per minute is nine, and since the average length is six inches, the average girl receives two hundred and sixteen inches or eighteen feet per intercourse. The average girl does it three times a week, fifty weeks a year, and so 150 times 18 makes 2700 feet, or just a little over half a mile.
So girls, if you are not getting your half a mile a year, why not let the man who gave you this card help you to catch up!

-Hi, I'm taking a survey. Do you spit or swallow?

-I'm really sorry about Al. It was a lovely funeral. You look ravishing in black, did you know that? What you need now is a nice backrub. Are the straps too tight, darling? How tragic. How very, very tragic.

-Be unique and different, say yes.

-Ya know, you look really hot! You must be real reason for global warming.

-You look just like my mother. No wonder I love you already!

-Hypothetically, what pickup lines are effective with a person like you?

-I lost my phone number. Can I borrow yours?

-I would say that I'm in love with you, but you'd think I'm trying to pull a fast one.

-You look like an angel. Welcome to Earth.

-I'm trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I'm allergic to sex.

-Excuse me, do you believe in love at first sight or do I have to walk past you again?

-So... How am I doin'?

-Yo. You'll do.

-You're ugly, but you interest me.

-Go ahead, make a pass at me. I dare ya!

QUOTES

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and sit back and smirk as everyone wonders just how the hell you managed it

Women have friends they hate because they don't want enemies they like

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you

I'd rather be a nobody, and everybody know my name, then be a somebody and be forgotten

If all else fails, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Eagels may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines

Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door

The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on

I'm smiling. That really should scare you.

Better to stay silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt

Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience

Someday, we'll look on this, laugh nervously and change the subject

I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me

Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them

Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas

If I had any dignity that would have been humiliating.

That which does not kill me had better run pretty dang fast.

Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

When in doubt, push random buttons!

Fighting is mind over matter. I don't mind, and you don't matter

If you can't beat the computer at chess, try kickboxing.

When you talk to God, that's religion. When God talks to you, that's psychotic.

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.

"I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde

"Marriage is the chief cause of divorce." - Groucho Marx

"History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives." - Abba Eban

"I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones." - Albert Einstein

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe. " - Albert Einstein

"Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted. " - (Sign in Albert Einstein's Office)

"In order to form an immaculate member of a flock of sheep one must, above all, be a sheep " - Albert Einstein

"Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school. " - Albert Einstein

"Smile . . . tomorrow will be worse."

"Enough research will tend to support whatever theory."

"Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse."

"If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something."

"You will always find something in the last place you look."

"Politics: 'Poli' a Latin word meaning 'many'; and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'." - Robin Williams

"The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech. " - George Bernard Shaw

Last night I was looking up at the stars when suddenly I wondered..."Dude, where the heck's my ceiling?"

There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.

They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled 'BANG!' I don't think you'd kill many people...

Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you just keep on talking

He who laughs last thinks slowest

An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work

I'm not cynical, I just see things the way they are

I respect your opinion, I just think it's stupid

It's not denial. I’m just selective about the reality I accept.

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

A clear conscience is usually a sign of memory loss.

There are no stupid questions, just a lot of inquisitive idiots.

The secret to success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you’re good

I'm not as dumb as you look

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

Sarcasm is one more free service we offer.

I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.

They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?

Some people are like slinkies. They seem to have no purpose, but they still bring you a smile when you push them down the stairs.

Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to

Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.

I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing

Silence is golden but duct tape is silver.

Anything thrown hard enough should hurt.

Flying is simple, you just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Some say the glass is half full, some say it's half empty, I say, "Are you gonna drink that?"

When I was born, I was so shocked that I didn't talk for a year and a half.

Where there's a will...I want to be in it.

Do not disturb, I'm disturbed already.

The trouble with life, is there's no background music.

I couldn't repair you brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A clean house is a sign of a broken computer!

Do not walk behind me for I may not lead, do not walk in front of me for I will not follow. If you want to walk besides me, go far it, but don't expect a big reaction...

For people who like peace and quiet: Get a PHONELESS CORD!

I don't get even, I get odder.

I have a photographic memory, but it takes a day to develop.

I've learned from my mistakes, and I'm sure I could repeat them exactly, if it's worth it.

Light travels faster than sound. That is why...some people seem bright until you hear them speak.

You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.

An optimist is someone who falls off the empire state building and after 50 floors says "So far so good!"

If Fed Ex and UPS merge, they would be called Fed UP.

Chaos, panic, pandemonium, my work here is done.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

Love me, Hate me, make a voodoo doll of me and stick it full of pins, I will continue to be indifferent to you.

To be alone is to be different; to be different is to be alone.

The beatings will cease once moral improves.

Excuse me while I find a container for my joy.

People who think they know everything annoy those of us who do.

YOU CAN'T SPELL SASUKE WITHOUT UKE!!

Duck Tape is like the 'Force', It has a dark side, a light side and it holds to universe together!

If life throws you lemons, throw them back and say, "Make your own damn lemon-aid!

Roses are red, violets are blue. Sugar is sweet, and so are you! The roses are wilted, the violets are dead. The sugar bowl's empty, just like your head!

As Far as Chocolate is concerned, I'm completely corruptible

Injustice is relatively easy to bear. What stings is justice. -Henry Louis Mencken

Everybody that is just is called to form part of the Kingdom of Heaven--whether they be Buddha's, Jews, or Atheists--as long as they are good. -Pope John Paul II

"I will be as harsh as truth and as uncompromising as justice." -William Garrison

AV is Addicted to Vampires

ADHD is Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder

ADOLAS is Attention Deficit- Oh Look, A Squirrel!

Warning: Trespassers will be shot. Warning: Survivors will be shot again.

It's tourist season, so why can't I shoot them?

Two lefts don't make a right, but three do.

I'm not the most colourful crayon in the box.

I'm only mean to people who tell me to be nice!

I had a dream, and in it, something eats you.

You have a face even a mother wouldn't love.

A learning experience is one of those things that says, 'You know that thing you just did? Don't do that.'

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.

I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer.

Life. Don't talk to me about life.

In the beginning the Universe was created. This made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.

Curiosity killed whoever got in my way.

I'm a bomb technician. If you see me running, try to keep up.

Incest is best when brothers say: "Yes... yes... YES!"

Don’t mess with me. I've got a stick.

COPY & PASTES

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or the vise versa copy this into your profile

If you have ever run into a door because you expected it to open for you, cope and paste this into you profile

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever busted a move/burst into song, copy this into your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE that it's weird and funny. If you agree, copy this into your profile.

I AM IN SIRIUS DENIAL! SIRIUS IS NOT DEAD! AND I WILL NOT LET YOU SAY OTHERWISE!
You know you're in Sirius Denial too love. 'No' you say? Well, that's why it's called Denial. Copy and Paste if you're not in Denial about being in Sirius Denial!

If you cried when L Lawliet died, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever randomly shouted "Kami!" out loud, then copy this on to your profile and add you name to the list: RabidMihealMailfangirl, Crazy4Moony, kandakicksass, Chocolate Cheerios

98 of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

If you are Harry Potter obsessed, copy this into you profile and add your name: Ga Nat Nat, Evil Older Sister, Frozenfan, Emerald Bear, Kyprioths Shadow, romulus-girl, Crazy4Moony, kandakicksass, Chocolate Cheerios

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get like two reviews, copy this into your profile.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favourite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do (I have 118 right now.) Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework instead of doing it. Crazy is downloading all of Twilight and New Moon off the books on C.D. from the libary, and listning to them over and over again. Crazy is barking at everything that moves because 'damn, why can't I be more like Sirius!' (Crazy4Moony's add) Crazy is dancing naked to Prison Trilogy in your kitchen at three-thirty in the morning while daddy, mommy, and sissy sleep (Youparonoidbf's add). Crazy is when you prank call your four cousins, knowing that they all have you on their caller IDs (kandakicksass's add). Crazy is when you can read 20 FanFictions At THE SAME TIME, and know exactly what's going on and where you are in every one of them(Chocolate Cheerios add). If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly, Crazy4Moony, kandakicksass

If you support werewolf rights, copy & paste this into your profile.

If your a GAARA fanatic, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever gone around poking random people copy and paste this into your profile.

You don't care if you're not popular, you just are who you are. Copy and paste this into your profile and add your name: Gaara's weakness, Gaara's-Demon-Girl, Crazy4Moony, kandakicksass, Chocolate Cheerios

You have said somthing you were thinking out loud without knowing, copy this into your profile.

You have sung stupid/funny songs out loud, while skipping too. Copy and add this into your profile.

You have talked bad to your teachers for a good reason, and/or for defending your friends, and got in detention but didn’t give a fuck, and would still do it. Copy this into your profile.

If you think your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile.

If your best friend IS insane, copy this into your profile.

If you believe PREPS TRAVEL IN PACKS, copy this into your profile.

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.

If you're fully aware that you're an arrogant bitch and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever said something that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you are insane, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped down the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you know someone who should spontaniously combust, burn to death in a fire, be fed to hungry lions, or die any other form of painful death, copy this into your profile.

If you are one of those people that feel sad because you are jealous of anime and game characters post this on your profile.

If someone actually thinks that you are evil and/or plotting their death, copy and paste this into your profile.

If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile.

If you've ever thought about something when you were talking about something else, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever had a conversation with someone else in your head, then suddenly started talking to them out loud, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tried to make plans for world domination, copy and paste into your profile.

If you would more likely fall in love with a dictionary than with a person, copy/paste this to your profile.

If you have been called eccentric and/or enigmatic before, copy/paste this to your profile.

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever told your English teacher to take his pants off, during your final oral exam because you were dubble-dared and would be damned if you lost your Queen-of-Dares crown, copy this onto your profile and add your name: Crazy4Moony, Kandakicksass

If you ran up a "Down" escalator, copy this into your profile.

If you are a die hard yaoi fangirl/fanboy, then hurry up and copy this to your profile!

If you are a slight and/or complete Death Note junkie, paste this in your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that stayed with rock (indie), put this in your profile.

If you have a tendency to talk to your self, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever crashed into a wall, then noticed that it was a wall then still apologized, copy/paste this onto your profile

If you think Nate "Near" River is a cuddly little creature, copy/paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you don't watch Laguna Beach, The O.C. or The Hills, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that life without computers is useless, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites, copy this in your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer

If reality continues to ruin your life, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you believe that fan clubs are the legal way to stalk someone, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are a ninja, copy and paste this into your profile.

I once read that only math can save us now. Put this in your profile if you're screwed.

.eliforp ruoy otni etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI

If you know our society is moving in the wrong direction, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your arse off.

If you've ever driven someplace but ended up in a completely different place than where you wanted to be, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you cried when Axel faded, post this on your profile.

If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling

was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile!

If your a Yaoi fangirl and proud of it then copy this to your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you love yaoi/shounen-ai, copy this into your profile.

If you know a video game/book/movie/anime/manga character or weapon that needs to exist, copy and paste this into your profile

If you're addicted to anime, copy & paste this into your profile.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, post this in your profile.

If you're a certified Sociopath, copy and paste this into your profile.

98 percent of the population has a myspace. If you're one of the 2 percent that isn't an emo bastard, copy and paste this in your profile.

-If you ever told your English teacher to take his pants off, during your final oral exam because you were dubble-dared and would be damned if you lost your Queen-of-Dares crown, copy this onto your profile and add your name: Crazy4Moony, Kandakicksass, Chocolate Cheerios

MISCELLANEOUS

Hilarious Way to learn Chinese on DarkAlbino's profile! LEARN CHINESE IN 5 MINUTES
Say the words out loud.
1) That's not right... ...Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harboring a fugitive? ...Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP... ...Kum Hia Nao
4) Stupid Man... ... Dum Fuk
5) Small Horse... ...Tai Ni Po Ni
6) Did you go to the Beach?...Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped into a coffee table...Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
8) I think you need a face lift...Chin Tu Fat
9) It's very dark in here...Wao So Dim
10) I thought you were on a diet...Wai Yu Mun Ching
11) This is a tow away zone...No Pah King
12) Our meeting is next week...Wai Yu Kum Nao
13) Staying out of sight...Le i Ying Lo
14) He's cleaning his automobile...Wa Shing Ka
15) Your body odor is offensive...Yu Stin Ki Pu
16) Great... ...Fa Kin Su Pah

You're a 90's kid if:

You can finish this 'ice ice _'
You remember watching Doug, Ren & Stimpy, Pinky and the Brain, Bobby's World, Felix the cat, The Tick...AAAAAAAH Real Monsters!
You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"
You just cant resist finishing this . . . "Iiiiiiin west Philadelphia born and raised . . ."
You remember TGIF, Step by Step, Family Matters, Dinosaurs, and Boy Meets World.
You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
You remember reading "Goosebumps"
You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.
You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not
If you remember seeing hot tub bubbles make bubbly sounds before every music video on VH1.
when everything was settled by rock paper scissors..or bubble gum bubble gum in a dish...eeny meeny miney mo...and even better daddy had a donkey inky binky bonky.
You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time.
"Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?" was both a game and a TV game show.
Captain Planet. He's a Hero.
You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green ranger, were meant to be together.
You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genesis became popular.
You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny.
You remember watching Home Alone 1, 2 , and 3 . . . and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"
You remember watching The Magic School Bus, Wishbone, and Reading Rainbow on PBS.
You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.
You remember those Where's Waldo books.
You remember eating Warheads.
You remember watching the 1st Batman, Aladdin, Ninja Turtles, and 3 Ninjas movies.
You remember Ring Pops.
You remember drinking Surge, and Tang.
If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!"
When they made the new lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos.
You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.
Making those little paper cootie-catcher things, and then predicting your life with them.
You played and/or collected "Pogs"
You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, or Nano and brought it everywhere.
. . . Furbies
Saved By The Bell was the coolest show ever!
You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet.
And Windows 95 was the best.
You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles.
Michael Jordan was a king.
YIKES pencils and erasers were the stuff!
All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.
You remember when the new Beanie Babies and Talking Elmo were always sold out.
You collected those Beanie Babies.
Mortal Kombat was awesome--the game and the movie
Carebears
Gak was the coolest stuff invented.
Lambchop's song never ended.
The old dollar bills.
Silver dollars, which were cool to have.
You remember a time before the WB.
You collected all the Troll dolls
You had to read Weekly Reader's in class.
If you even know what an original walkman is.
You remember wanting to sit on the orange Nickelodeon couch.
You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"
You know the Macarena by heart.
"Talk to the hand" . . . enough said
You always said, "Then why don't you marry it!"
You remember trying to collect all 150 original pokemon cards but never could and if you did you thought you were all that!
You remember Highlight's magazine.
You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace.
You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground.
Before the MySpace frenzy . . .
Before the Internet & text messaging . . .
Before Sidekicks & iPods . . .
Before MIKE JONES . . .
Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX . . .
Before Spongebob . . .
Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.
When light up sneakers were cool.
When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.
When gas was 0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was The new thing.
When we recorded stuff on VCRs.
When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off of our walkmans.
When gameboy was a brick.
You did MASH to figure out your future
When you weren't cool unless you had a Starter jacket.
Way back.
Before we realized all this would eventually disappear.
Who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!
Post this in your profile if you remember these days . . . .
or if you smiled at one of these things

Calling me FAKE won't make you REAL,

Calling me STUPID won't make you SMART,

Calling me WEAK won't make you STRONG,

Calling me UGLY won't make you PRETTY,

Calling me POOR won't make you RICH,

Calling me FAT wont make you PERFECT,

Calling me UNCOOL wont make you COOL

10 Commandments of a Teenager

1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
(I leave before and tell them i'm asleep)
2) Thou shall not do drugs.
(As i cannot aford them)
3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Wal-Mart is available though...)
4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(I may cover things in paint but since i am not a vandle no point)
5) Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(Everyone knows your siblings will do it for you)
6) Thou shall not get into fights.
(I'm big and scary, its the others who run)
7) Thou shall not skip class.
(I would but the school are paranoid)
8) Thou shall not strip in class.
(Why wait. what do people think assemblys are?)
9) Thou shall not think about having sex.
(Why think when he's already in your room?)
10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
(If they walked from their house why not try and gain the glory at the end? just pisses them off)

Gay marriage

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans... --

Re-post this if you believe in legalizing gay marriage

This is the boy, Matthew Shepard. On October 7, 1998 Aaron McKinney and Russell Henderson lead him to a remote area east of Laramie where they demonstrated unimaginable acts of hate. Matthew was tied to a split-rail fence where he was beaten and left to die in the cold of the night. Almost 18 hours later he was found by a cyclist who initially mistook him for a scarecrow. Matthew died on October 12 at 12:53 am at a hospital in Fort Collins, Colorado. KILLED BECAUSE HE WAS GAY

Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it. :

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

How to Tell if You're a Writer

-If you talk to yourself.
-If you talk to yourself about talking to yourself (i.e. ‘I wonder why I talk to myself so much?’)
-If, when you talk to yourself, you sometimes speak as if talking to another person (i.e. ‘Okay, so have you ever noticed that the word ‘deliver’ could mean removing someone’s liver?’)
-If, after uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand in awe and say, ‘Wow, this is good stuff for sugar highs!’
-If you live off of sugar and caffeine.
-If people start to notice that you tend to check your e-mail every day for a week, then suddenly disappear off the face of the planet.
-If your e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.
-If, when replying to someone else’s e-mail, you are sometimes so random that you fail to address the original message altogether.
-If you tend to collect the Bic Stics people leave lying around, kind of like picking pennies off the ground.
-If, no matter where you are in your room, you never have to so much as get up to reach a pen/pencil and paper.
-If the letters are starting to wear off on the keys of your keyboard.
-If people think you might have A.D.D.
-If you think it’d be cool to have A.D.D.
-If you start constantly talking in third person, past tense.
-If you think about making lists like this, and start giggling for no ‘apparent’ reason.
-If your friends don’t even bother to look funny at you anymore when you start giggling for no apparent reason.
-And finally, the number one way to tell if you’re a good writer: If you failed English 101

You know you're a Yaoi Fangirl if…

When Marco and Craig kissed on Degrassi and Craig said "When in doubt, kiss Craig?!" you yelled YES!!
You cursed the producers of Degrassi when they did not continue the scene between "Soccerstud" and Riley.
You stay up all night to watch the scene between "Soccerstud" and Riley.
You stay up all night watching yaoi manga on Youtube
You cried when Heath Ledger got married to a CHICK on Brokeback Mountain
You agree with the statement "Jake Gyllenhaal will always be Heath Ledger's bitch to me"
The idea of a guy and a girl is disgusting when referring to fanfiction
Your parents have NO IDEA what you're writing (and exiting) when they walk in
Randomly looking up yaoi couples on fanfiction is your idea of a "good time"
You cried yourself to sleep when Jack died
You're reading this and thinking "I've got to watch Brokeback again…"
If you haven't watched Brokeback, you're kicking ass to get your hands on it
You don't believe GACKT's ever-bulging package should be used on women LOL

You know you’re a SasuNaru fan when:

You think about SasuNaru 24/7;
You dream about SasuNaru all the time;
You try to throw stuff at Sakura, when she try’s to ask Sasuke out;
You squeal whenever you watch episode 202 and see that the number one favorite fight was between your two favorite bishounen;
You almost fainted when Sasuke leaned over Naruto after the Valley of End…uh ended;
You go aww whenever Sasuke and Naruto have another one of their lover’s quarrels;
You hate having to wait for the fillers to be over;
You pray with a little hope that Masashi Kishimoto would add some more SasuNaru hints in the timeskip;
Everyday u sit at the computer hoping that an idea for an great SasuNaru story would hit u soon;
You think that people that like couples such as SasuSaku and some others that are not SasuNaru XP should all go to the most horrible place in the world, hell for example;
You know that one day SasuNaru would rule the world!;
You love reading this reader’s profile;
You pray that somehow and someway Sakura would die somewhere along the timeskip;
You get mad every time Hinata trys to make a move on Naruto (yet you think its cute cuz Sasuke get jealous); (Shannaro!)
You wait for SasuxNaruislove to post new doujinshi’s;
You search deviantart more for SasuNaru then any other thing;
You decide that typing this up would help people understand why you love SasuNaru so much;
Your favorite colors are blue and orange (they are complimentary);
You feel like you wanna punch Sakura for even thinking about the word Sasuke;
You just wanna go and hug the little adorable Naru-chan and tell him he and Sasuke are so kawaii together;
SasuNaru is your Anti-drug;
You talk about it all the time and ur friends have no idea what SasuNaru is; (phew!)
You almost break ur computer after watching the episode where Sakura “touches” Sasuke to calm him down after using the Sharingan with the cursed mark;
You were just about to explode when Sasuke left Naruto alone at the Valley of End (did you cheat on him bastard! XD);
You cried at the flashbacks they played while at the Valley of End (grabs a tissue);
You like reading this long list and find it mildly amusing;
You have written 5 or more stories about them (but I want to!);
You ignore other pairings and focus more on the “obsession”;
You put 20 or more pictures on ur ipod for later purposes :yaoi fan giggle:;
You try to convince some of ur close friends to like it; (sighs)
You wonder what ur mom and dad would say if they found out what “it” was;
You sigh as this list ends XD
You were also screaming at Konohamuru in chapter 347 (page 10)
and You were awwing when Naruto dispelled the jutsu (jealous much?)
You replayed the credits ending to Shippuuden 65 over and over until your fingers cramped...then kept going anyway XD

Dress Code

1. It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a pay raise.

2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.

3. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a pay raise.

Sick Days

We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as proof of sickness.

If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Holiday Days

Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.

Compassionate Leave

This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements.

In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

Toilet Use

1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the cubicles.

2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle door will open, and your picture will be taken.

3. After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company notice board under the "Chronic Offenders" category.

4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.

Lunch Break

1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy.

2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.

3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive employment experience.

Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

Are you Crazy?

(X) You have yelled at a non-living things (Computer, DVD player, car,etc.)
(X) You have ran into glass/screen doors
() You have jumped out of a moving vehicle.
(X) You have thought of something funny and laughed, and then people gave you weird looks.
(X) You have run into a tree/bush.
(X) You have been called a blond.

TOTAL: 5

() You know that it IS possible to lick your elbow.
(X) You just tried to lick your elbow. (OUCH!)
(X) You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same melody.
(X) You just sang them to make sure.
(X) You have tripped on your own feet and fallen.
(X) You have choked on your own spit.

TOTAL: 5

(X) You have seen the Matrix and still don't get it.
() You type with three fingers or less.
(X) You have accidentally caught something on fire.
(X) You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose.
(X) You have caught yourself drooling

TOTAL: 4

() You have fallen asleep in class.
(X) Sometimes you just stop thinking.
(X) Sometimes when you are telling a story you forget what you are talking about.
(X) People often shake their heads and walk away from you.
(X) You are often told to use your ‘inside voice’.

TOTAL: 4

(X) You use your fingers to do simple math.
(X) You have eaten a bug accidentally (eww...)
(X) You are taking this test when you should be doing something more important.
(X) You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn't realize it.
(X) You've looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand/pocket the whole time.

TOTAL: 5

() You have posted bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen if you don’t.
(X) You break a lot of things.
(X) You tilt your head when you're confused.
(X) You have fallen out of your chair before.
(X) When you’re lying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture on the ceiling.
() The word "um" is used frequently.
(X) You don't know what "um" means.
() You say "what" and "huh" a lot.
(X) You plan to use a calculator to multiply your score for this bulletin.

TOTAL: 6

TOTAL OF TOTALS:

NOW, take your total, and multiply it by 4

SCORE= 116 Crazy.

Well... that can't be very good...

For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirts (It's actually called a kilt)
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist.

I've always been a little different. So people judge me because of that.
I've always been a little strange. So people dislike me because of that.
I've always had a hard time trying to figure out why people never really talked to me. So I had to rely on myself for conversations.
I'm the girl whose dreams she holds on to, even if they'll never come true.
I'm the girl who never stopped believing in something, only to realize it was fake.
I'm the girl who stands up every day and faces prejudice and hate from others because of the way she chooses to represent herself to others.
I'm the girl who gets put down because she is everything she wants to be.
I'm the girl who doesn't want to be made into anything.
I'm the girl who will always say 'tomorrow' even when she doesn't believe it herself.
I'm the girl with hope, even when I act like it's not there.
I'm the one who says no to drugs.
I'm the one who says 'love is love, regardless if it is of oneself or of another of the same gender'.
I'm the one who will always smile, even if her heart is breaking.
I'm the one who chooses to rise above hate and try to love.
I'm the one who has always tried to believe in someone, even if they felt long-gone.
I'm the person who holds on.
I'm the person who lives her life regardless of what happens.
I'm the person who chooses to live.
I'm the person who wants to see what tomorrow will bring.
So judge me.
So hate me.
So be inclined to send me rude comments.
But I don't care.
In the end I rise above.
Because I believe this world needs to let love in and prejudice, hate, homophobia, and so many other things out.

Try Not To Cry

Mommy... Johnny brought a gun to school,
He told his friends that it was cool,
And when he pulled the trigger back,
It shot with a great, huge crack.
Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!
When I went to school that day,
I never said good-bye.
I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.
When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,
And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.
Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,
And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.
And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,
And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best
Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest
Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,
And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass
Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.
But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.
But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.
I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.
Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,
But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest
When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could
please listen to me if you would,
I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,
I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.
But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,
Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry I had to cancel the date.
I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true
And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"

In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech
Students Who Were Lost

Please if you would,
Don't smash this on the ground.
If you pass this on,
Maybe people will cry,
Just keep this in your heart,
For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye".

My name is Sarah

I am but three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all

I can't do a wrong

Or else I'm locked up

All the day long

When I awake I'm all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll get just

One whipping tonight

Don't make a sound!

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie's Bar.

I hear him curse

My name he calls

I press myself

Against the wall.

I try and hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now

I'm sradishing to cry.

He finds me weeping

He shouts ugly words,

He says its my fault

That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And I run for the door.

He's already locked it

And I start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!", I scream

But its now much too late

His face has been twisted

Into unimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

Oh please God, have mercy!

Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door,

While I lay there motionless

Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Sarah

And I am but three,

Tonight my daddy,

Murdered me.

child abuse, MAKE IT STOP!

That made me cry! If you agree post on your web page.

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point your Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In".

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds."

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip! Rather Than Walk.

10. With a serious face, order a diet water whenever you go out to eat.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme.

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not "In The Mood."

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won, I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. Whenever someone you don't particularly like, or even if you do, touches you, recoil and look at them disgustedly while screeching at the top of your lungs: "It Burns us! It Burns us!"

You Know Your Obsessed With Naruto When . . .

-Dye your hair blond and try to walk up a tree. (...will i got to 'do' sasuke?)

-Live by a strict diet of only ramen. (I like noodles does that count?)

-Call your semester exam a chuunin exam. (i do, and get told off)

-Trade in your favorite hat for a forehead protector. (i've never worn a hat)

-Roll your eyes back in your head and shout "Byakugan". (thats...attractive)

-Copy every thing a person does and claim it's your bloodline. (I could use that excuse...)

-Stay up all night waiting for the release of the next manga chapter. (i'm on chapter 230 i've got more the 200 more chaps... i'm good for now)

-Start adding the words chan and kun on the end of your friends' names. (i tired but they thought i had turrets)

-Paste a piece of paper that says "Icha-Icha paradise" on the front of adult books. (i would but i think i'd get sued)

-Jump off a cliff and attempt to use Kuchiyose No Jutsu to summon the toad king. (!!Does someone want me to die?)

-Keep all your money in a frog shaped wallet. (aghhh i used to)

-Memorize the 64 points of Ninpou. (i can barely remember my own name sometimes...)

-Stick your hand in a electric box and scream "Chidori" as you pass out. (Will i get super powers?)

-Join a website and use the name Neji as your s/n. (i use the sasunaru thing, gets my point across)

-Start to call your teachers Sennin. (i would get the weirdest look and pervie friend will think i like the teacher)

-Claim your going to kill your best friend so you can have a better Sharingan. (yeah... i'm trying to keep her alive...)

-Sit in your local book store and read the manga all day. (done! But my local store had jack all in it)

-When someone asks you who your dream boy is and you say Itachi. (Naruto or Sasuke... Itachi scares me)

-Agree to stay up and write this list so you can be added to the staff of Naruto Central. (Hahahah i would)

-Spend your week searching down Naruto sites. (Only for yaoi)

-Refuse a date because you're saving yourself for Naruto. (I would but he's on the short side)

-Graduate high school and proclaim yourself as an Anbu. (Whats high school?)

-Cry at the flash back scenes of Sasuke's family. (I always cry... thought he gets really scary after chapter 160)

-Try to hit Itachi through the screen when he tortures Sasuke. (i made my knuckle bleed...)

-Put a picture of Sasuke in your wallet and tell your friends it's your boyfriend. (wtf? I already have him as my screen, they all know.)

-List Anbu as current occupation on a job application. (if i really needed the job no, for a joke yes and if they liked naruto even better)

-Can spout out a random character quote on command. (Dobe, Teme, Ero-sennin, Ba-chan so glad my parents don't know what the last is)

-Draw symbols on a scroll and try to seal a whole in a wall with it. (the door? That would be cool...)

-Sneak around and try to beat your grandfather. (my grandpa just died... the other always wins)

-Wake up in the middle of the night and scream "Itachi, why?!". (well... i dream about the two having sex... i never have itachi in the mix...)

-Eat all day and all night, and then try to roll into a ball and run someone down. (yes and i can _)

-Get bit by a snake and decide stabbing the wound is a good idea. (only an genius would realise its to let the posion run free... i hope)

-Read manga 24 hours non stop just so you can read more. (yes... once my mum thought i had gone out and the next day she found me in my room... asleep...on the chair...)

-Decide that if you can't hit a tree 1500 times then. You'll jump rope 1500.(I can't jump rope more then 20 times)(How about once?)

-Decide to call your moral code your "ninja way". (would do but... pyhsics is not that...)

Girls Don't realize these things;

I'm sorry
that I bought you roses
to tell you that I like you

I'm sorry
That I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry
That my body's not ripped enough
to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"

I'm sorry
That I am actually nice;
not a jerk

I'm sorry
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club (that is the best part of dating is cuddling!)

I'm sorry
I would rather make love to you then just screw you
like some random guy.

I'm sorry
That I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date

I'm sorry
That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry
If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorry
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry
that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care

But most of all

I'm sorry
For not being sorry anymore

I'm sorry
That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry
I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm Sorry
That I cared

I'm sorry
that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"

Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'

If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things' --The irony is that it's the other way around. The guy I like is always moving around from girlfriend, to girlfriend, and then bitching about them... to me.--

10 BEST THINGS ABOUT BEING A GIRL

10. We can wear guy clothes, but if they wear ours they get funny looks.
9. At least one girl always survives in horror movies.
8. We can put cotton between our toes and paint our nails without feeling the least bit silly.
7. Our magazines have horiscopes.
6. Girls with guy first names like Taylor sound cool, but it doesn't work the other way around.
5. Our friends don't say "hi" but punch us in the arm.
4. Yes PMS sucks, but at least we have an excuse to lay around eating chocolate all day.
3. Make-up covers any imperfections we may have.
2. If we flirt with a cop, we can get out of a speeding ticket (though some boys I know can pull that one off too...)
1. Girl Talk... you know, the way we all just understand each other without having to explain a thing.

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree. The
boys don’t want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

THINGS I MUST DO AT HOGWARTS

1. I will not sing "we're off to see the wizard" when sent to the Headmaster's office.

2. I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class. It will not get me extra credit.

3. Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda.

4. I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his "time of the month", no matter how sympathetic I think I am to the situation.

5. I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my older brother's old Calculus book.

6. I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music when wandering the halls. Nor am i allowed to use the theme from Mission Impossible.

7. I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue and call them smurfs.

8. "Draco Malfoy, Is My Snuggle Bunny" is not an acceptable quidditch chant.

9. I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween. Or Lucius Malfoy. Or Hitler.

10. Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera.

11. Bringing fortune cookies to Divinations class does not count as extra credit.

12. I will not attempt to magically animate my marshmallow peeps. Why Chocolate Frogs are allowed and not these is beyond me.

13. I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintball.

14. I will not wear A MUDBLOOD AND PROUD OF IT shirt to DE meetings and act surprised when they attack me.

15. I will not tell first years that they should build a tree-house in the whomping willow

16. I will not use silencing charms on my professors.

17. I will not scream bloody murder everytime I see Filch

18. I will not ride around hogwarts in an uncontrollable cart going really fast with no breaks, and chase Snape around while causing general chaos.

19. I will not throw a surprise party for Snape and write him romantic poems no matter how much I think he needs a hug.

20. I will not purposefully run face on into every wall I see.

21. I will not make popping sounds with my mouth(like Donky from Shrek)and laugh when the teacher gives you a funny look.

22. I will not look at the ceiling for along time, and when I see other people looking at the ceiling too, trying to figure it out, say "What are you looking at?".

23. I will not grimace painfully while smacking my forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!" while around the younger students.

24. I will not answer the professors' questions with meows.

25. I will not draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other students that this is my "personal space."

36. I will not get a black dog, name it Grim, and take it to Divination class.

27. I will not invent a cereal. There are no such thing as Voldios, and they are not magically delicious.

28. I will not yell "Pick me! Pick me!" when Snape hands out detentions.

29. I will not sing The Song That Never Ends. While drunk. In the Great Hall. To the first years..

30. I will not wait for Snape to run away from me to yell "Why are you doing this, Severus? YOU KNOW THIS IS YOUR BABY!"

31. I will not send Snape love notes signed "Wormtail"."

32. When called upon in class, I will not insist that the correct answer is 42

33. I will not add "according to the prophecy" to raise my Divination grade (though that could work)

34. I will not tell Muggleborn first-years that Bertie Bott's Every-Flavor Beans taste better if you them all at once

35. Im not allowed to bother Snape and Dumbledore does not do "naked time"

36. I will not sing "Defying Gravity" during Quidditch practice

37. The four houses are not the Morons, the Borons, the Brainiacs and the Junior Death Eaters.

38. My headmasters name is Albus Dumbledore, not Gandalf

39. Yelling "to infinity and beyond" was only funny the first time I took off from my broom.

40. I will refrain from calling Fred and George - Merry and Pippin, Harry and Ron - Frodo and Sam, and it probably isnt smart to call Draco Legolas either.

41. Telling Draco to "make like a ferret and bounce" is always a bad idea.

42. When Death Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout “To the Batmobile, Robin”

43. If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of the fact and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.

44. No matter how creepy and abandoned some of the towers are, I will not find Johnny Depp with scissors for hands in any of them.

45. I will not tickle the sleeping dragon “just to see what happens”

46. I am not allowed out of my dorm when visitors from the Ministry are here

47. I will not refer to the DADA profs or Gryffindors as “Red shirts”

48. I will not sweep the Gryffindor common room with Harry’s prized Firebolt

49. I will not scare the First years with wild tales of an omniscient Author who controls our very destinies.

50. Making a Polyjuice Potion and walking up to the person I copied to make them act crazy/ act like a human mirror is not funny

51. Ron Weasley does not appreciate being called “Boy Wonder” and he definitely does not want to wear green tights

52. Putting a Snitch in Malfoy’s pants really isn’t funny, even if it does make him scream like a girl.

53. Putting fake spiders in Ron’s bed is certainly not funny, especially when he tries to jump out the window.

54. I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor will I insist that their House colors indicate that they are "covered in bees".

55. No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can produce, I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.

56. Growing marijuana (or weed for everyone else) is not an extra credit project for Herbology. Although it might win the war if I can get Voldemort addicted.

57. "I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.

58. The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball

59. I will not use Umbridge's quill to write "Let me out".

60. I will stop referring to showering as "giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful".

61. Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever money-making concept.

62. House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers

63. The Forbidden Forest is forbidden for a reason.

64. Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar.

65. I will not lick Trevor. or kiss him. Even if he could turn into a Prince. It might be Snape anyways, and he wouldn't be too happy with me.

66. Calling Lucius Malfoy "Luscious Mouthful" is just plain gross.

67. I will not change the password to the prefects' bath to "Makes getting clean almost as much fun as getting dirty".

68. There is no such thing as an Invisibility Thong.

69. It is a bad idea to tell Professor Snape/McGonagall s/he takes himself too seriously.

70. I will not ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick.

71. I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.

72. Tricking a school house elf into stripping does not mean that they are now mine, even if I yell "Pwned!"

73. Speaking like Yoda, does not a happy professor make. Funny, it is not.

74. During the Spring Annual Good vs. Evil Match I will not raise my wand in the air and yell “THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!”

75. “Ooh ee oo ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang is not a spell.

76. I am not a sloth Animagus.

77. I am aloud to have a toad, rat, cat, or owl. I am not, however, allowed to have a reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or a piranha.

78. I do not weigh the same as a duck

79. I will stop asking my Arithemancy teacher what the square root of -1 is.

80. Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul are completely coincidental

81. Professor Flitwick does not wish to be addressed to as: Admiral Naismith or Mon Capitan or Napoleon.

82. Asking a Gryffindor, How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense? and walking away is only funny the FIRST time.

83. 42 is not the only answer to every questing on the OWLS

84. I am not allowed to owl suspected Death Eaters a list of Evil Overlords.

85. I will not offer to make tandoori owl.

86. I will stop asking Snape when we will make Love Potion No. 9

87. Sirius Black did not found the Sirius Cybernetics Corp.

88. My name is not Captain Subtext

89. I cannot Hadoken anything into oblivion.

90. I am not the Defense Against Boring Classes professor.

91. I am not allowed to use the words pimp cane in front of Draco.

92. It is generally accepted that cats and dragons cannot interbreed, and I should not attempt to disprove this theory no matter how wicked the outcome would be.

93. Gryffindor courage does not come in bottles labeled Firewhiskey.

94. Using the Engorgio charm on certain parts of the human anatomy is not permitted on school grounds, not even for entertainment purposes.

95. First years are not to be fed to fluffy.

96. A wand is for magic. Not for picking noses, playing snooker, or practicing my drum playing no matter how bored I become.

97. I will not impersonate the Swedish Chef in potions class

98. First years should not be encouraged to befriend the Whomping Willow.

99. Novelty and Holiday themed ties are not appropriate for school uniform.

100. I will not use my socks to make hand puppets of the Slytherin house mascot

101. I should not refer the DADA teachers as the canaries in the coalmine.

102. I will restrain myself from saying: Dude, get a life. When facing Lord Voldemort.

103. I am not allowed to place muggle fairytale books under the history section of the library.

104. There is not now, nor will there ever be a fifth house at Hogwarts. I am not a member of this house, or the founder.

105. I will not refer using the Accio charm as Using the force.

106. Albus Dumbledores proper title is Headmaster, not: The Gandalf Wannabe

107. I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I prophesized her death.

108. I will not use Gryffindors and Slytherins as Christmas decorations.

109. Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel and sick joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists.

110. If asked in class what the Avada Kadavra curse does yelling, IT DOES DEATH!! I not the appropriate response.

111. I am not allowed out of my dorm when visitors from the Ministry are here.

112. Ravenclaws do not in any circumstance find a sign saying: The library is closed for an indefinite time. Amusing in any sense.

113. I will not try to recreate the Key of Time in Transfiguration class.

114. A time turner is not a flux capacitator, and I will not install one in one of my muggle cars.

115. I am not allowed to use any silencing charms on my Professors.

116. I will not set Hermiones time turner to rotate every half hour.

117. If the thought of a spell causes me to giggle for more than 15 consecutive seconds, I must assume that I am not aloud to use it.

118. I will not refer my X-files videos to be: Auror Training Videos.

119. When being interrogated by the staff, I am not allowed to wave my hand and announce, These are not the droids you are looking for.

120. Albus Dumbledore is not the devil.

121. I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort.

122. I will not follow potion instructors in reverse just to see what happens.

123. I am not to claim that there is a prequel to Hogwarts, one that explains the about Bilbo Baggins.

124. I will not, under any circumstance, ask Harry Potter who died and declared him boss.

125. I am not allowed to refer Susan Bones, Hanna Abbot, and Justin Finch-Fletchley as Blossom, Buttercup, and Bubbles.

126. I will not cast the occasional Obliviate spell on Dumbledore, even though it would be amusing.

127. I am not allowed to give the Gryffindors Pixie Stix.

128. I will not lock the Gryffindors and Slytherins in a room and make bets on which House will come out alive.

129. I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him that they are, in fact, real animals.

130. I will not teach the house elves to impersonate Jar Jar Binks.

131. I will not sing the Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin Quidditch matches.

132. I will not douse Harry Potters invisibility cloak with lemon juice to see if he becomes visible when walking in front of the fire in the common room.

133. I will not tell the first years that Moon Prism Power is the basic spell for Transfiguration.

134. I will not yell, Believe it. OR NOT! in random parts of Dumbledores speeches.

135. My name is not Dark Lord Happy Pants and I am not allowed to sign my papers as such.

136. There is no such thing as the Chamber of Double Secret Probation.

137. I will not try to magically animate my marshmallow peeps.

138. Never ask Harry if is Scar Senses are tingling.

139. Voldemort is not Gonandorf and the Triforce is not hidden in Hogwarts.

140. I am not to sing the entire Multiplication Rock, song during Arithmancy exams.

141. I will not charm the suites of armor in the Great Hall to do a reenactment of the musical number, Were knights of the Round Table. For the Christmas Feast.

142. I will not refer Professor McGonagall as: McGoogles.

143. I am not aloud to make lightsaber noises with my wand.

144. Wearing my DEATH EATER AND PROUD OF IT shirt to school is not a good idea

145. I am not allowed to recreate famous battles of the Revolutionary War in the Charms corridor.

146. I am not to declare an official: Hug a Slytherin day.

147. I am not to refer myself as Tim the Enchanter to first years.

148. I am not Xena: Warrior Princess and I shall not use my war cries every time I enter a classroom.

149. It is not necessary to yell, BAM! every time I apparate.

150. I am not allowed to commandeer Gryffindors sword from Dumbledores office and use it to patrol the hallways.

151. I cannot sing Attack of the Killer Tomatoes theme song during Herbology.

152. I am not allowed to pain the house elves blue and refer to them as smurfs.

153. I will not organize the Hogwarts Fight Club

154. It is a bad idea to tell Snape that he takes himself too seriously.

155. I will not tell first years that Snape is the voice of God.

156. I will not dress up as a Dementor and use a dust buster to use on Harrys lips to try to convince him to do what I want.

157. I will not start food fights in the Great Hall

158. To conquer the earth with my army of flying monkeys is apparently not the best career option..

159. The Whomping Willow is not an Entwife

160. It is not necessary to yell, Oooo BURN! every time Snape takes points from Gryffindor.

161. Yall check this bad boy out! is not the appropriate way to announce that you are about to perform an experimental spell.

162. I will not hold my wand up in the air before casting a spell and shout, I have the power!

163. I am not the king of the potato people and I do not have a flying carpet.

164. Getting everyone in the Great Hall to do a time warp will not get me extra house points.

165. I will not tell Sir Cadogan that the knights who say Ni have challenged him to a duel and have students say Ni while hiding about the corridor