"Succorbentis?" Malfoy asked quietly, his face immediately hidden by that insufferable mask. "You have Succorbentis?" Silence. "You know it's an incredibly rare disease, right? You know it's incurable, right?" Silence. "...No wonder you're in denial." Ron/Hermione/Gryff Bashing

Harry learns how perfect he and his crush, Draco, are for each other, after partnering on a serial murder case.

Harry sits his kids down and tells them a story. A very long story. NOTE: This was written for the hd smoochfest and is a remix/reinterpretation of How I Met Your Mother in the HP World. Please do skim through the notes before reading further. Thank you!

HPDM slash, epilogue compliant. Harry's life has become an endurance run, through the remnants of his stressful divorce, his strained relationships with his children, and his increasingly complicated job. But what might make things more complicated than the rest of it is what happens when he saves Scorpius Malfoy's life, and Draco Malfoy insists on assuming the life debt. COMPLETE.

Draco Malfoy has three excellent reasons to get absolutely sloshed- a father who won't accept him, a Harry Potter he's been crushing on and that damned hippogriff who tried to eat him. And he's going to tell them off, because clearly that is a good idea. Fortunately, his new muggle friend seems to have a beef of his own with Potter. Drunken hijinks all round.

Draco would swear he's the world's unluckiest person. Maybe the answer to his problem lies in Harry Potter, whose life is seemingly charmed. He resolves to stick as close to Potter as possible, in the hopes that maybe some of that luck will rub off.