Hello stalkers!

Name: Melissa

I'm just gonna start off by listing my favorites books/series: Undone, Revolution, A Northern Light, Define 'Normal', Runaway, Poison Ink, Speak, Wintergirlz, Twilight Saga, Maximum Ride, Gallagher Girls, and Spy Goddess

Colors: Black and red

Style (Ex: girly, tomboy...): Everyone says I'm goth and emo (even though they're 2 different things! Some ppl don't get that!), but most people think I'm just my own group, unique :)

Type of clothes: Everyday, black and/or sweats/skinny jeans, with a black/red hoodie or t-shirt when it's warmer

So, those are my favorites, couldn't really think of anything else... And it's kinda obvious of what I like to do, if I have an account on here. If you have read any good Fanfiction.net stories, FictionPress.com, or any books that are good, please tell me. Thanks!

Nobody Is A Virgin Because Life Has Screwed Us All. -Unknown

Just Because I Didn't Say Anything Doesn't Mean I Wasn't Listening. -Chris Wise

You'll Never Have A Future If You Continue To Live In The Past. -Ren Black

I Am Not-An Answer To A Prayer-Nor A Whisper-Nor A Dare I Am But-A Thought Across Time. -Found in Midnight Embrace by Amanda Ashley

Born To Raise Hell, Live To Fight And Die Wreaking Havoc. -X aka Deadman Walks

Good Advice Is Always Certain To Be Ignored, But That's No Reason Not To Give It. -Agatha Christie

A Word To The Wise Ain't Necessary. It's The Stupid Ones Who Need The Advice. -Bill Cosby

To Put The World Right In Order, We Must First Put The Nation In Order; To Put The Nation In Order, We Must First Put The Family In Order; To Put The Family In Order, We Must First Cultivate Our Personal Life; We Must First Set Our Hearts Right. -Confucius

Self-Respect Is A Question Of Recognizing That Anything Worth Having Has A Price. -Joan Didion

No One, Eleanor Roosevelt Said, Can Make You Feel Inferior Without Your Consent. Never Give It. -Marian Wright Edelman

He Who Angers You Conquers You. -Elizabeth Kenny

Every Promise Takes Time. -Ren Black

Never Go To Bed Mad. Stay Up And Fight. -Phyllis Diller, Phyllis Diller's Housekeeping Hints, 1966

If Malice Or Envy Were Tangible And Had A Shape, It Would Be The Shape Of A Boomerang. -Charley Reese

Judge Me All You Want Just Keep The Verdict To Yourself. -From a Winston advertisement

Don't Drink And Drive. Smoke And Fly. -Unknown

A True Friend Is Someone Who Reaches For Your Hand And Touches Your Heart. -Unknown

Don't Try So Hard; The Best Things Come When You Least Expect Them To. -Unknown

What If You Slept? And What If, In Your Sleep, You Dreamed?
And What If, In Your Dream, You Went To Heaven
And There Plucked A Strange And Beautiful Flower?
And What If, When You Awoke, You Had The Flower In Your Hand?
Ah, What Then? -Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Take Life One Day At A Time And Do Not Think Of The Future Too Much Because The Past Will Fly By Too Quickly. Live Life. -Ren Black

Been There..Destroyed That..What's Next? -X aka Deadman Walks

"I can't remember to forget you"- Memento

"And ye shall say the truth, and the truth shall set you free"- CIA motto

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

OMG!!! The Rains WET!!!

I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

When Life gives you lemons, throw them at someone!

I am a people person, just not a stupid people person

If your pissing me off, im more likly to break your jaw that walk away say im the bigger person. People only say that when they dont think thay can win.

A day without sunshine is like, night.

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf.

If you can't convince them, confuse them..

You know your good at protecting yourself if even your best friends think they know everything cuz you make it seem like that, but realy, they only know the stuff you let them.

lonleyness might be not having anyone;

lonlyness might be seeing no-one;

lonltness might be hearing no-one;

But true lonltness is having everronr, seeing everyone, hearing everyone... And still be alone.

Energizer Bunny arrested — charged with battery.

Silence is golden... duck tape is silver.

When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'

trust can only end in hurt, but bottleing thing up means thimgs explode. Ethier way, you crumble. But you can choose which way.

Friends are like potatoes. When you eat them, they die.

If you dont like the weather in New England, Wait five minutes.

Love is like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it but you can only feel true warmth.

An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State building, and after 50 floors says, "So far, so good!"

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you do say will be misquoted and then used against you in Court.

I didn't fall for you. You tripped me.

He broke my heart. I broke his nose.

Pass the liquor. The boy is still ugly!

If you wish to live wisely, ignore sayings such as this one.

Nothing can confound a wise man more than the laughter from a dunce - Lord Byron. (Basically, if some smarty-pants is going all Einstein on you, laugh in their face. It'll piss 'em of to no end.)

Join the Army, visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill 'em.

Nothing will ever win the Battle of the Sexes. There's too much fraternising with the enemy.

Boys are like trees. They take fifty years to grow up.

Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of he human race.

A consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and turns it into something confusing. (Are you listening, Miss Holt?)

When everything is coming your way, you know you're in the wrong lane.

When I die, I'm leaving my body to Science fiction - Steven Wright.

You tried your best and failed miserably - Homer Simpson.

If you can't live without me, then why aren't you dead?

Silence is golden, and yet duct tape is silver - Anonymous. (Me: Hear that, you lot? If you don't shut up soon - cough - Lucille - cough - Jerry - I will bring out the shiny silver DUCT TAPE)

Having a guy dump you but say you can still be friends is like your mum saying your dog died but you can keep it's corpse.

Out of my mind. Back in five. - J.B. Morton.

My friend and I were sitting down innocently at lunch. Then, randomly, a couple skips over, sits down next to us, and starts making out. Me and my friend look at each other, then avert our eyes. Other people, however, are not so courteous. The couple beside us break apart and the girl yells, "If you want free porn, go on the Internet and leave us the hell alone!" (True story...)

Romance often begins by a splashing waterfall and ends over a leaky sink - Anonymous

There is no such thing as stupid questions, just stupid people - Yours truly!

I live in my own little word. But that's okay; they know me here.

Confidence is the feeling you get before you understand the situation properly.

People are like slinkies; useless but totally amusing to watch fall down the stairs.

I find "good morning" a contradictory sentence.

I don't know what'll happen when I die; last time, God kicked me out of Heaven and Lucifer got a restraining order put on me.

If you never succeed on the first try, never go skydiving.

A good lawyer knows the law, a great lawyer knows the judge.

I have PMS and a gun. You were saying...?

Most people I know are alive because it's illegal to shoot them. And vice versa.

I don't need your attitude, smartarse. The voices in my head are enough. (Me: SO TRUE!)

What happens if you get scared half to death... twice?

I have six older brothers. That's how I learnt to dance - waiting for the bathoom. (I only have one brother, thank god.)

Earth first. We'll screw up other planets later.

Never do anything that you can't explain to the paramedics.

I run with scissors; it makes me feel dangerous.

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia. (It took me a minute to get this, but then, hey presto - time differences. It only really works if you're in America. For example, if it's Saturday for you Yankees, then it's Sunday for us.)

All generalizations are bad.

80% of statistics are made up.

4/3's of the earth's population have trouble with fractions. (Jab: Kay included)

Eagles soar through the clouds, but at least weasles don't get sucked into jet engines.

Very few problems can't be solved with high-powered explosives.

When in doubt, make up words!

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Amateurs built the Ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

Boys are like slinkies. Useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?

I will kill you in your sleep. . . . You laugh like I'm kidding.

I am a Fruit Loop in a world full of Cheerios.

I'm not afraid of Death. What's he going to do, kill me?

When people don't laugh at our jokes we don't think of it as a "You had to be there." type of thing. But more like a "You have to be mentally retarded like us." type of thing

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery

There's this thing called life, and I'm addicted to it. Sorry, but I'm not taking a bullet for you kids.

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When i get to heaven I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him?"

Microsoft: You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips that answer none.

When life gives you lemons, you make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it. When life gives you more, you throw them back, because really, who likes lemons? And when it gives you even more, squirt them in their eyes and see how much life likes lemons then.

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend/girlfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

I used all my sick days so I called in dead.

You're just jealous becasue I'm the only one the voices talk to.

I talk to myself becasue mine are the only answers I accept!

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

An idiot is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire their work.

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss!

There is no 'I' in team, but there is an 'I' in PIE, an so there is an 'I' in MEATPIE and since MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...

Newscasters are the people who tell you "Good evening" and then procede to tell you why it's not.

Why be difficult, when with just a little more effort, you can be impossible.

Don't you dare tell me that the sky is the limit while there are footsteps on the moon!

I was going to take over the world but I got distracted by something sparkly.

There are three kinds of people- those who count, and those who can't

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor

When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!

Crazy Facts That You'll Probably Never Need to Know But I'm Telling You Anyway;

-You can't flush cockroaches down the toilet. (Trust me, I just tried. I stomped on it {barefoot, may I add; not pretty} and since the bin was overflowing and I was too slack to put it outside, I chucked it in the toilet. I flushed. Cockroach didn't go down. I tried again. And again. So, the cockroach is still there. And I ain't sticking my hand in there to get him out. No way.)

-Humans and dolphins are the only animals that have sex for pleasure. (No, I am not sick. No, I am not - very - perverted. My friend actually told me this. I do NOT want to know what she does in her spare time.)

-75% percent of the guys at my school have Bieber hair. And when asked WHY they have stupid hair, they flick their fringe and say they are not in possession of the Bieber cut. Pshh.

-Contrary to what many people may believe, eating a mandarin whilst drinking coffee does NOT make a good blend of tastes.

-Orange peel WILL make you throw up.

-There is a Sea World in America AND Australia.

-The Black Eyed Peas have a weird obsession with having a baby-like voice sing in their songs.

-I'm having major chocolate cravings.

-I am about to send an email to all the boys on my MSN contact list. The email has tips for when it's a girl's "time of the month". This is pure EVIL. Know why? Because guys HATE hearing that sort of shit. Oh, boy, this is gonna be EPIC. (Did you know bananas are good for cramps?)

-I daydream of Fang. And his abs. Regularly.

-I think the Voodoo doll sitting on my back verandah has fleas.

-Apparently, dog saliva can heal wounds.

-Apparently, dog saliva can infect wounds.

-I have four different backpacks in my room.

-Maths textbooks can knock someone out. (Heh... personal experience...)

-So can Breaking Dawn.

-It is 11:26 AM right now. 13th of February. WAIT.

-FUCKING HELL! ANGEL IS RELEASED ON THE 14TH!

-I just checked the Internet. All the major book stores in Australia say it's released on the FIRST of the FOURTH. That's nearly two fucking months away. I CAN'T WAIT THAT LONG!

-I am about to go bash my head against a wall in annoyance. Bye!

Imagining the future is a form of nostalgia. - John Green

If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?

Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy the cable?

"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'

"I swear to drunk I'm not God!"

"Who lit the fuse on YOUR tampon?"

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

If you think Fang, from Maximum Ride, is the hottest dude you've never seen copy this into your profile.

If you are madly in love with a fictional character copy this onto your profile!

If I say Fang and you scream "Where?!" copy this onto your profile

If you've ever screamed at a book or the TV copy this!

If you prefer the term anti-sane to YOU PSYCHO C&P

When you rain on my parade i break out my slip and slide.

If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile!

If you have ever swore at a student in a different language and then laughed when they didn't know what you were saying, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever started laughing for no reason, copy and paste this in your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane, copy and paste this in your profile

If you are extremely obsessed with british boys and their accents, copy and paste this in your profile

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this in your profile

If fanfiction is to you as Myspace and Facebook are to other people, copy this onto your profile.

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? People call me crazy, which I am, but I'm also random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile

92 of teens would be dead if Abercrombie & Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe. Copy and Pase this into your profile if you would be part of the 8 laughing.

If Faxness is one of your obsessions, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you wish you were Max Ride just so you could make out with Fang, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you used to be one of those girls who thought it was irrational to be in love with a fictional character, then read about Fang and changed your mind, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think Max and Fang should confess their love for each other, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you were insane, crazy, and/or random, before being crazy, insanse, and/or random was cool, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love Max Ride and cannot live without it, post this in your profile.

If you think the world is heading to a bad place, and are planning on doing something about it by making wonderful stories, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Copy this and paste it on your profile if you think sarcasm is a conditioned reflex.

If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you still laugh rereading Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

If you ever felt like killing someone (or more than one person) because they wouldn't leave you alone when you told them not to distract you because you were busy copy this into your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you absolutely KILLED yourself laughing when gazzy said "'I vill now destroy de Snickurs bahrs!' then copy this to your profile!

If you have ever had the sudden desire to own a tazer, copy and paste this into your profile!!

If you happen to still talk to your imaginary Friend and occasionally punch him/her because they are know it alls copy and paste this into your profile.

If your friend(s) think you’re crazy for reading a book about six flying kids (and their talking dog) and you don’t care copy and paste this is your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile

If your friends are WEIRD (But you still love them) put this on your profile.

If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites, copy this in your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile

If you talk so fast no one can understand you unless they try really hard and even then it's a struggle, copy this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you have a teacher who doesn't know what the heck there doing and you hate them because they annoy you paste this into your profile.

If you would kill to have wings, post this in your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

Copy this into your profile if you LOVE Fang!

If you've ever done anything incredibly stupid for no apparent reason, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If your friends are considering torturing you to stop talking about a fictional character, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are in love with a fictional character, copy and paste this into your profile

When people are being mean walk a mile in their shoes. Then you'll be a mile away from the retards and have their shoes!

When someone makes you mad remember this. It takes up to seventy muscles to frown but it only takes four to punch somebody.

Remember you should never cry over a boy. If they make you cry, they're not worth you. And if they're worth you they won't make you cry.

When life gives you lemons make grape juice then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.

Never knock on deaths door. Ring the doorbell and run. He hates it when people do that.

The voices in my head may not be real but they've got some great ideas.

You think the world is full of crazy people? Oh yeah? Reakky? WELL I'M THEIR LEADER! GET 'EM!

It's you and me against the world. We attack at midnight.

I like running with scissors. It makes me feel dangerous.

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every little second of it.

10% sugar, 10% spice, 80% demon child so you better be nice!

If you keep telling me to be more like you and stop to smell the roses then I'll laugh when you inhale a bee.

i'm bored with nothing to do and a baseball bat. *My friend* RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Who cares about hugs?!?!?!?! If i see you I'm gonna tackle you.

If you spendmultiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this in your profile!!

If you are like Max, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you relate everything to Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you still laugh rereading Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you want to see Maximum Ride (the movie) on the first day it comes out, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you absolutely CANNOT live without one or all of these books series ( Maximum Ride ), copy and paste this into your profile!

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs cpoy and psate it in yuor pofrile

Got a problem with me? Solve it.

Think I'm trippin'? Tie my shoe.

Can't stand me? Then sit down.

FAX! If you love it copy and paste this into your file

If you're one of those people who get excited when you get 2 reveiws copy and paste this into your profile!

If you're really random copy and paste this into your file!

If your friend(s) think you’re crazy for reading a book about six flying kids (and their talking dog) and you don’t care ... copy and paste this into your profile.

Did you know...

kissing is healthy.

bananas are good for period pain.

it's good to cry.

chicken soup actually makes you feel better.

94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.

lying is actually unhealthy.

you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.

it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.

89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move.

it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.

chocolate will make you feel better.

most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.

a good friend never judges.

a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any.

boys aren't worth your tears.

we all love surprises.

Now... make a wish.

Wish REALLY hard!!

WISH WISH WISH WISH

Your wish has just been recieved.

Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...

Your wish will be granted

If you have an increasingly sophisticated and extensive vocabulary, situate this in your characterization.

If you hate pasting stuff, suck it up and paste this anyway!

If you think Max and Fang should just get over themselves and get together already, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are SO obsessed with Maximum Ride that it is not even FUNNY anymore, post this in your profile.

98 percent of teens can walk without running into walls. If you're in the 2 percent that can't, post this in your profile.

If you are a Maximum Ride Fanatic, put this on your profile.

If you are obsessively, uncontrolably, in love with Fang

If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile

If you love and I mean love to read, put this on your profile.

If you would rather read, or be outside, rather than watching t.v, put this on your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile

If you love and I mean love to read, put this on your profile.

If you would rather read, or be outside, rather than watching t.v, put this on your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your view on Maximum Ride is that there are much worse things you could be addicted to, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think the human identification thing when you log in to fan fiction is annoying, copy and past this into your profile.

If you've ever acted like a paranoid fool because you believe that fictional characters exist, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever stabbed someone with a pencil/pen in a harmless way to release anger put this in your profile.

If you've ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN copy this into your pro.

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you believe that the pink bunnies of doom are really out to get you, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you solemnly swear you are up to no good copy and paste this into your profile

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessively, uncontrolably, in love with Fang, post this in your profile!! yaaaaaay!!

“I love Nudge, Nudge is a great kid, but that motor mouth of hers could have turned Mother Teresa into an ax murderer,”Max

“For God’s sake, Nudge, my ears are bleeding!”Iggy

“Nope,” I said. “We’re kinda low-tech than that.” Like, having Kleenex would be a huge step up for us. Max

‘I vill now destroy de Snickurs bahrs!’ Gazzy barked.”

‘We look identi cal. She even had identical scars and scratches. She was wearing my clothes. How could you tell us apart?’ (Max)
He turned to me and grinned, making my world brighter. ‘She offered to cook breakfast.’” (Fang)

“’You were designed to be very smart, Max,’ she told me. ‘We electrically stimulated your synaptic nerve endings while your brain was developing.’ (The director)
’And yet I still can’t program my DVD player,’ I said.” (Max)

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

if you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think Fang is hot...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy this into your profile

If you don’t dance to avoid injury to yourself and those around you, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile

AACIBD is Addicted to All Cullen’s Including Bella Disorder.

AV is Addicted to Vampires

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile. (I KNOW LOTS!!)

If you have ever stayed up for over 40 hours continuously just because you frickin' could, copy this into your profile.

If you think the Coa-coa Puff Turky Bird thing shoud go to rehab, copy this into your profile.

If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freakin' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile. (I KNOW LOTS!!)

If you have ever stayed up for over 40 hours continuously just because you frickin' could, copy this into your profile.

If you think the Coa-coa Puff Turky Bird thing shoud go to rehab, copy this into your profile.

If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freakin' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile

If you have ever been pushed into an ice-cold pool copy and paste this into your profile

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework insted of doing it. Crazy is when you act completly well crazy and make a total fool of yourself and not even care. Crazy is when you dedicate your entire being(every cell in your body) to Twilight, Maximum Ride, and fanfiction. Crazy is when you love a fictional charecter with the depths of your heart and soul would die for him and would marry him instantly if he were actually real. Crazy is when you have pictures of Edward Cullen and Twilight all over your school binders. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. (ITZ SORT OF NUDGE'S BUT MINE AT THE SAME TIME...)

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder ((Not unless the person who fell off the cliff had wings...have you ever thought of that?))

I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

All the good ones are either dating someone, married, or fictional characters in books or movies. (like Fang!!)

If you agree that Fang is 98% human, 2% bird, and 100% HOT, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you laughed out loud while reading Maximum Ride, copy this onto your profile.

If you think Max and Fang should just get over themselves and get together already, copy this onto your profile.

If you're obsessed with Max Ride to the point where it's not even funny anymore, copy this onto your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If your friend(s) think(s) you’re crazy for reading a book about six flying kids -and their talking dog- and you don’t care copy and paste this on your profile.

If you love Max Ride and cannot live without it, post this in your profile

If you absolutely KILLED yourself laughing when gazzy said "'I vill now destroy de Snickurs bahrs!' then copy this to your profile!

If you're absoloutely, uncrontollably in love with Fang, copy this into your profile

If you would kill to have wings, post this in your profile.

If you have/ wish you had a dog, and wish he could talk like Total, copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever wanted to go into a book and slap/ scream at a character copy and paste this onto your profile

If you are like Max, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you relate everything to Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you still laugh re-reading Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you want to see Maximum Ride (the movie) on the first day it comes out, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If Miggyness is one of your obsessions, post this in your profile.

Copy this and paste it on your profile if you think sarcasm is a conditioned reflex.

If you wish The Flock were real, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you REALLY want Fang to be real and meet him, copy and past this to your profile.

If you'll take first watch copy and paste this is you profile (if you don't get it READ MAXIMUM RIDE!)

If you think Fang is hot...copy and paste this on your profile.

If your view on Maximum Ride is that there are much worse things you could be addicted to, copy and paste this into your profile .

If you get excited everytime there is FAXNESS, copy this onto your profile.

If you agree that Fang is Fangalicious, copy this into your profile.

If someone has ever asked you what Maximum Ride is about, and they give you a look that says, do-I-really-hang-out with you? copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever burst out laughing about something in a book, and people look at you weird, copy and paste this on your profile.

If your type is tall, dark, winged and handsome copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you love Fang from Maximum Ride and drool over him, even though you have never even seen him, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have dreams where you are kidnapped to become a member of the Flock, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're going to go to a bar to get Bakon vodka once you're 21, copy and paste this into your profile. (Thanks Phoenix Fanatic!)

My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend than copy this to your profile.

A friend will comfort you when he rejects you, Best Friend well go up to him and say "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

A friend will be there for you when he dumps you, Best Friend will call him and whisper "Seven days..."

A friend will help you up when you fall, Best Friend will laugh because she tripped me.

A friend helps you find you're prince charming; Best Friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.

A friend gives you there umbrella in the rain; Best Friend takes yours and runs away.

A friend helps you move, Best Friend helps you move the bodies

A friend well bail you out of jail, Best Friend is sitting next to you saying "That was Awesome!! Let's do it again!!"

A friend knows a lot of things about you; Best Friend could right a very embarrassing biography of your live.

A friend will teach me how to drive; Best Friend will help me push the car in the lake so I can collect insurance.

A friend will go to the concert with me; Best Friend will kidnap the band with me.

A friend will hide me from the cops; Best Friend is the reason there after me.

A friend will let me make a fool of myself in public, Best Friend is making a fool of herself next to me.

Friends Fade, Best Friends are forever.

I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

I didn't trip. I was just testing gravity... It still works.

Dear Homework, you are unattractive; therefore, I cannot do you.

Secret Admirer? More like a stalker with stationary.

When I say 'LOL,' I'm not 'laughing out loud.' I just have nothing better to say.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Nobody's going to win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy.

Sarcasm is my automatic response to stupidity.

The one fault in perfection is that it's so damn boring!

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

Life isn’t passing me by, it’s trying to run me over

Heaven doesn’t want me, and Hell’s afraid I’ll take over.

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

Yes, I hit like a girl. You could too if you hit just a little bit harder.

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

If Walmart is lowering prices daily, then how come none of it is free yet?

Why does the psychic hotline ask for your credit card number? Shouldn't they already know it?

Why do they report power outages on TV?

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

If scientists were ever going to figure out how to travel through time, wouldn’t we now be seeing people from the future?

"Why do they tell us violence is not the answer, then turn around and teach us about the wars that fixed americas problems?"

Why do docters call what thay do 'practice'?

We stoped looking for monsters under our beds, when we realised thay were inside us.

if violence duck-tape or confusion cant fix your problems... your SHIZ OUT OF LUCK!!!

As much as you want to belive it, nobody can stay in love forever... theres a difference between being in love still and being to lazy to get a divorce...

The idea is not to think outside the box, nor inside... but of the box itself.

"The more I pretend to be shiny and bright the darker I feel inside" Undone

"Life sucks, then you die. I'm so lucky"- Breaking Dawn

"Did you know that 'I told you so' has a brother,Jacob?" she asked cutting me off. "His name is 'Shut the hell up'." - Breaking Dawn

"I like the night. Without the dark, we'd never see the stars." - Twilight

"Forbidden to remember, terrified to forget; it was a hard line to walk." -New Moon

"I decided as long as I'm going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly." - Twilight

"Basically, I have two speeds... Hostile or smart-aleck. Your choice." -Saving The World And Other Extreme Sports

"Did you know that wasn’t me, the other Max?” I asked.
“Yeah.”
“When?”
“Right away.”
“How?” I persisted. “We look identical. She even had identical scars and scratches. She was wearing my clothes. How could you tell us apart?”
He turned to me and grinned, making my world brighter. “She offered to cook breakfast." - School's Out Forever

"Here's a freebie: Don't play poker with a kid who can read minds." - The Final Warning

"In the dictionary, next to the word stress, there is a picture of a midsize mutant stuck inside a dog crate, wondering if her destiny is to be killed or to save the world. Okay, not really. But there should be." - The Angel Experiment

"Well, that's an evil smile..." - The Angel Experiment

"There is no shame in not knowing; the shame lies in not finding out" - Undone

"Let's run away, cross state lines"- Undone

"It's choice, not chance, that determines our destiny"- Undone

"You have to know what you stand for, not just what you stand against." - Speak

"But some mistakes need to be made in order for you to realize they actually weren't mistakes in the first place,"
- The Secret Diary of Ashley Juergens

"There's always another way. And that doesn't make them bad or worse than other ways. Things are bad right now, sure, but they don't have to be. Things are the way they are- it's how you handle them that determines the outcome."
- The Secret Diary of Ashley Juergens

“I picked up a lot of my arguing-with-Mom techniques from Mimsy. She always says if you state the facts, Mom won't argue with you. And it's true. I used this approach once when I was little, after I got home from a visit with Mimsy. I wanted to eat a chocolate bar for a snack but mom wanted me to have an apple. I refused, saying I have never had a bad candy bar but have had plenty of bad apples. Mom relented and let me have my chocolate. But not before saying, "All right. No bad apples for the bad apple." It was still worth it.”
- The Secret Diary of Ashley Juergens

"When people don't express themselves, they die one piece at a time." - Speak

"It's easier not to say anything. Shut your trap, button your lip, can it. All that crap you hear on TV about communication and expressing feelings is a lie. Nobody really wants to hear what you have to say." - Speak

"Gym should be illegal. It's humiliating." - Speak

"I wonder how long it would take for anyone to notice if I just stopped talking." - Speak

"I failed eating, failed drinking, failed not cutting myself into shreds. Failed friendship. Failed sisterhood and daughterhood. Failed mirrors and scales and phone calls. Good thing I'm stable. " - Wintergirls

"Life’s all about the revolution, isn’t it? The one inside, I mean. You can’t change history. You can’t change the world. All you can ever change is yourself." - Revolution

"I don't like hope very much. In fact, I hate it. It's the crystal meth of emotions. It hooks you fast and kills you hard. It's bad news. The worst. It's sharp sticks and cherry bombs. When hope shows up, it's only a matter of time until someone gets hurt." - Revolution

"Can't you see?
It goes on, this world, stupid and brutal,
but I do not.
I do not." - Revolution

"I'm wishing he could see that music lives. Forever. That it's stronger than death. Stronger than time. And that its strength holds you together when nothing else can." - Revolution

"Stop yelling. If everyone’s yelling, no one can be heard." - Revolution

"Turn away. From the darkness, the madness, the pain. Open your eyes and look at the light." - Revolution

"It's a good thing you and your pills weren't around a few hundred years ago or there never would have been a Vermeer or a Caravaggio. You'd have drugged "Girl with a Pearl Earring" and "The Taking of Christ" right the hell out of them." - Revolution

"I play until my fingers are blue and stiff from the cold, and then I keep on playing. Until I'm lost in the music. Until I am the music--notes and chords, the melody and harmony. It hurts, but it's okay because when I'm the music, I'm not me. Not sad. Not afraid. Not desperate. Not guilty." - Revolution

"Because I'm on the phone, Mom!"
"Fooling around with your friends again! Who is that?"
"Ahmadinejad."
"Oh, my goodness! What is he saying?"
"That he wants to see Jeezy at the Beacon tonight. Putin's going too. He scalped a ticket from Kim Jong Il. All tha gangstas are going."
"Don't be so fresh, young man!"
"Gotta go," he says to me. "Enemy forces have dropped a Momshell."
"Fall back, solider. Over and out." - Revolution

"DNA tells you all the secrets of life,’ he used to say. Except for one—how to live it." - Revolution

"Airports should all belong to the same country. The country of Crappacia. Or Bleakovania. Or Suckitan." - Revolution

“I want the key", he said. "The key to the universe. To life. To the future and the past. To love and hate. Truth. God. It's there. Inside of us. In the genome. The answer to every question. If I can find it. That's what I want," he finished, softly. "I want the key.” - Revolution

“The driver's on me in an instant. She's crying and trembling. She grabs the front of my jacket and shakes me. "You crazy bitch!" she screams. "I could have killed you!"
"Sorry," I say
"Sorry?" she shouts. "You don't look sorry. You-"
"Sorry you missed," I say.
She lets go of me then. Takes a step back.” - Revolution

"Cripes Miss Wilcox, they're not guns,' I said.
No, they're not Mattie, they're books. And a hundred times more dangerous." - A Northern Light

"Voice is not just the sound that comes from your throat, but the feelings that comes from your words." - A Northern Light

"It's another sin. Worse than all the other ones, which are immediate, violent and hot...It's the eighth deadly sin. The one God left out, Hope." - A Northern Light

"You should spend more time reading the Good Book and less reading all those novels. What are you going to tell the Lord on Judgement Day when He asks you why you didn't read your bible? Hmm?"
I will tell Him that His press agents could have done with a writing lesson or two, I said. To myself."- A Northern Light

"But words are more powerful than anything." - A Northern Light

"You can't argue with the dead, no matter what you say, they always have the last word." - A Northern Light

"Never take what's offered, always ask for more." - A Northern Light

"Writers are damned liars. Every single one of them." - A Northern Light

“...Fran? Frances Hill, you stop that right now! What the devil's got into you? Ada, you should be ashamed! Braying like a mule, you are! And you, Mattie Gokey...would you like to tell me what could possibly be so funny?” - A Northern Light

“Well it seems to me that there are books that tell stories, and then there are books that tell truths...," I began.
"Go on," she said
"The first kind, they show you life like you want it to be. With villains getting what they deserve and the hero seeing what a fool he's been and marrying the heroine and happy ending and all that. Like Sense and Sensibility or Persuasion. But the second kind, they show you life more like it is. Like in Huckleberry Finn where Huck's pa is a no-good drunk and Jim suffers so. The first kind makes you cheerful and contented, but the second kind shakes you up."
"People like happy ending, Mattie. They don't want to be shaken up."
"I guess not, ma'am. It's just that there are no Captain Wentworths, are there? But there are plenty of Pap Finns. And things go well for Anne Elliot in the end, but they don't go well for most people." My voice trembled as I spoke, as it did whenever I was angry. "I feel let down sometimes. The people in the books-the heroes- they're always so...heroic. And I try to be, but..."
"...you're not," Lou said, licking deviled ham off her fingers.
"...no, I'm not. People in books are good and noble and unselfish, and people aren't that way... and I feel, well... hornswoggled sometimes. By Jane Austen and Charles Dickens and Louisa May Alcott. Why do writers make things sugary when life isn't that way?" I asked too loudly. "Why don't they tell the truth? Why don't they tell how a pigpen looks after the sow's eaten her children? Or how it is for a girl when her baby won't come out? Or that cancer has a smell to it? All those books, Miss Wilcox," I said, pointing at a pile of them," and I bet not one of them will tell you what cancer smells like. I can, though. It stinks. Like meat gone bad and dirty clothes and bog water all mixed together. Why doesn't anyone tell you that?"
No one spoke for a few seconds. I could hear the clock ticking and the sound of my own breathing. Then Lou quietly said, "Cripes, Mattie. You oughtn't to talk like that."
I realized then that Miss Wilcox had stopped smiling. Her eyes were fixed om me, and I was certain she'd decided I was morbid and dispiriting like Miss Parrish had said and that I should leave then and there.
"I'm sorry, Miss Wilcox," I said, looking at the floor. "I don't mean to be coarse. I just... I don't know why I should care what happens to people in a drawing room in London or Paris or anywhere else when no one in those places cares what happens to people in Eagle Bay."
Miss Wilcox's eyes were still fixed on me, only now they were shiny. Like they were the day I got my letter from Barnard. "Make them care, Mattie," she said softly. "And don't you ever be sorry.- A Northern Light

“I don't know what I was hoping for. Some small praise, I guess. A bit of encouragement. I didn't get it. Miss Parrish took me aside one day after school let out. She said she'd read my stories and found them morbid and dispiriting. She said literature was meant to uplift the heart and that a young woman such as myself ought to turn her mind to topics more cheerful and inspiring than lonely hermits and dead children.
"Look around yourself, Mathilda," she said. "At the magnificence of nature. It should inspire joy and awe Reverence. Respect. Beautiful thoughts and fine words."
I had looked around. I'd seen all the things she'd spoken of and more besides. I'd seen a bear cub lift it's face to the drenching spring rains. And the sliver moon of winter, so high and blinding. I'd seen the crimson glory of a stand of sugar maples in autumn and the unspeakable stillness of a mountain lake at dawn. I'd seen them and loved them. But I'd also seen the dark of things. The starved carcasses of winter deer. The driving fury of a blizzard wind. And the gloom that broods under the pines always. Even on the brightest days.” - A Northern Light

“I'm not snapping," I snapped.” - A Northern Light

“What had I seen? Too much. What did I know? Only that knowledge carries a damned high price. Miss Wilcox, my teacher, had taught me so much. Why had she never taught me that?” - A Northern Light

“I read it: "A man earned daily for 5 days and 3 times as much as he paid for his board, after which he was obliged to be idle 4 days," it said. "Upon counting his money after paying for his board he found that he had 2 ten-doller bills and 4 dollers. How much did he pay for the board, and what were his wages?"
"All right. Think now," Weaver said. "How would you begin to solve it? What's your X?"
I thought. Very hard. For quite some time. About the man and his meager wages and shabby boardinghouse and lonely life. "Where did he work?" I finally asked.
"What? It doesn't matter, Matt. Just assign an X to-"
"A mill, I bet," I said, picturing the man's threadbare clothing, his worn shoes. "A woolen mill. Why do you think he was obliged to be idle?"
"I don't know why. Look, just-"
"I bet he got sick," I said, clutching Weaver's arm. "Or maybe business wasn't good, and his boss had no work for him. I wonder if he had a family in the country. It would be a terrible thing, wouldn't it, if he had children to feed and no work? Maybe his wife was poorly, too. And I bet he had..."
"Damn it, Mattie, this is algebra, not composition!" Weaver said, glaring at me.
"Sorry," I said, feeling like a hopeless case.” - A Northern Light

“You learned good, Uncle Fifty," Lou said, shoveling beans onto her plate. "You get an A-plus. Will you teach Mattie how to cook? She can only make mush and pancakes. And a pea soup that's so bad, it's more pee than soup."
Uncle Fifty roared. My sisters laughed. Especially Lou. Pa raised an eyebrow at her, but that didn't quiet her. She knew she was safe because our uncle was laughing.
"Don't mind them, Mattie," Abby said, petting me.
"You like my pea soup, don't you Ab?" I asked, hurt.
She looked at me with her kind eyes. "No, Mattie, I don't. It's awful.” - A Northern Light

"Fall down again, Bella?'
No, Emmett, I punched a werewolf in the face." - Eclipse

"Why am I covered in feathers?" -
Breaking Dawn

"I know - I'll play you for it," Alice suggested. "Rock, paper, scissors."
Jasper chuckled and Edward sighed.
"Why don't you just tell me who wins?" Edward said wryly.
Alice beamed. "I do. Excellent."
- Breaking Dawn

"Does it bother you, me being half naked all the time?" - Eclipse (Noooo, it does not.:) )

"Did you seriously just stamp your foot? I thought girls only did that on TV." - Eclipse

"Leah: "That is easily the freakin’ grossest thing I’ve ever heard in my life. Yuck. If there was anything in my stomach, it would be coming back."
Seth: "They are vampires, I guess. I mean, it makes sense, and if it helps Bella, it’s a good thing, right?"
Leah and Jake stare at Seth.
Seth: "What?"
Leah: "Mom dropped him a lot when he was a baby."
Jake: "On his head apparently."
Leah: "He used to gnaw on the crib bars, too."
Jake: "Lead paint?"
Leah: "Looks like it."
Seth: "Funny. Why don’t you two shut up and sleep?" - Breaking Dawn

"Are you referring to the fact that you can't walk across a flat, stable surface without finding something to trip over?" - Stephenie Meyer

"Doesn't he own a shirt?" - Eclipse

"I'm hotter than you." - Eclipse

"I think she's having hysterics. Maybe you should slap her." - New Moon

"Bella, would you please stop trying to take your clothes off?" - Eclipse

"Vhat ozzer abilities do you haf?" ter Borcht snapped, which his assistant waited, pen in hand.
Gazzy thought. "I have X-ray vision," he said. He peered at ter Borcht's chest, then blinked and looked alarmed.
Ter Borcht was startled for a second, but then he frowned. "Don't write dat down," he told his assistant in irritation. The assistant froze in midsentence.
"You. Do you haf any qualities dat distinguish you in any way?"
Nudge chewed on a fingernail. "You mean, like, besides the WINGS?" She shook her shoulders gently, and her beautiful fawn-colored wings unfolded a bit.
His face flushed, and I felt like cheering. "Yes," he said stiffly. "Besides de vings."
"Hmm. Besides de vings." Nudge tapped one finger against her chin. "Um..." Her face brightened. "I once ate nine Snickers bars in one sitting. Without barfing. That was a record!"
"Hardly a special talent," ter Borcht said witheringly.
Nudge was offended. "Yeah? Let's see YOU do it."

"I vill now eat nine Snickers bars," Gazzy said in a perfect, creepy imitation of ter Borcht's voice, "visout bahfing."
Iggy rubbed his forehead with one hand. "Well, I have a highly developed sense of irony."
Ter Borcht tsked. "You are a liability to your group. I assume you alvays hold on to someone's shirt, yes? Following dem closely?"
"Only when I'm trying to steal their dessert"
...Fang pretended to think, gazing up at the ceiling. "Besides my fashion sense? I play a mean harmonica."
"I vill now destroy de Snickuhs bahrs!" Gazzy barked." - Saving The World and Other Extreme Sports

"Yes!” said Fang, punching the air. “Freaks rule." - The Angel Experiment

"I can talk to fish!" Angel said happily, water dripping off her long, skinny body. "Ask one over for dinner," Fang said, joining us." - School's Out Forever

"What I said yesterday didn't mean anything! I love everyone in the flock! Plus, it was the Valium talking!"
"Uh-huh. You just keep telling yourself that. You looove me, thiisss much."
Max: (tries to punch him)
"Pick a tree. I'll go carve our initials in it."
Max: (screams and runs into bathroom)" - Saving The World And Other Extreme Sports

"I feel like, like pudding," Iggy groaned. "Pudding with nerve endings. Pudding in great pain." - The Angel Experiment

"What happened to your tan?"--Fang
"It was dirt." --Max" - The Final Warning

"That was the funniest thing I'd heard in days.
You're kidding, right? PLEASE tell me you have a stronger motive for me than 'fair is fair.' Life isn't FAIR, Dean...Nothing is fair, EVER. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. I need to help you because FAIR IS FAIR? Try, 'I need you to help me so I won't rip out your spine and beat you with it.' I MIGHT respond to that. MAYBE." - School's Out Forever

"Fang sat up. "What do I have to do to get some food in this joint?""You still have an IV," Anne said. "The doctors don't want you eating solid ..." Her voice trailed off as Fang's eyes narrowed."We saved a tray for you," I said. An orderly had brought us breakfast, andwe'd saved some of everything for Fang." - School's Out Forever

"And how do you spell that?" the agent asked.
"Captain, like the captain of a ship," the Gasman explained. "And then Terror,you know, T-E-R-O-R.
""Your name is Captain Terror."- School's Out Forever

"Q: You'er presented with a smooth-faced, eight-foot-high wooden wall. Your objective? Get over it. To, like, save comrades or something. How to accomplish this?
A: Take a running start, brace one foot against the wall, throw one hand to the top, try to hang on long enough for a comrade to either grab your hand at the top or for another comrade to push your butt up from below. It takes team work!
BKA (bird kid answer): Or you could just, like, fly over it." - MAX

"You were designed to be very smart, Max,' she told me. 'We electrically stimulated your synaptic nerve endings while your brain was developing.' (The director)
And yet I still can't program my DVD player,' I said." - MAX

"Nudge: "I look like prep school Barbie. (looks at Max) Actually, you look like prep school Barbie. I'm just Barbie's friend." - School's Out Forever

"Tell me again what we're doing here," I said, running a continuous scan of our surroundings. (At football game)
Fang popped some Cracker Jack into his mouth. "We're here to watch manly men do manly things."
I followed Fang's line of sight: He was watching the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders, who were not doing manly things, by any stretch of the imagination." - Saving The World and Other Extreme Sports

Max: "I HATE YOU!!!"
Fang: "I HATE YOU TOO!!!"
Voice: "You two are crazy about each other." - Saving The World and Other Extreme Sports

"Dr. Martinez: "I take it you don't want me to call your parent?"
Max: "Uh, no." Hello, lab? May I speak to the test tube please?" - The Angel Experiment

"Max!” Nudge cried, rushing over to hug me. Her thin arms gripped me tight, and I hugged her back, scratching her wings where they joined her shoulders, the way she liked. “We were so worried—I didn’t know what had happened to you, and we didn’t know what to do, and Fang said we going to eat rats, and—“
“Okay, okay. Everything’s okay,” I told her. I met Fang’s eyes over her shoulder and mouthed Rats? silently. A flicker of a grin crossed his lips and then was gone." - The Angel Experiment

"SITTING TIGHT? Holing up? Waiting for answers?
Those are things I'm not good at.
Planning a massive attack against mechanical geeky-like things when i was already furious and itching to kill something?
Piece o'cake" - MAX

"I'm not stubborn, I'm right!" - MAX

James Patterson
"Huh - Why is Max in the kitchen?"
Dr.Martinez: "We're cooking."
Gazzy: "She's just keeping you company, right?"
Dr.Martinez: "No, she's cooking."
Nudge: "Cooking...food?"
Max: "Yes, I'm cooking food, and it's great, and you're going to eat it, you twerps!" - MAX

James Patterson
"Feeding a crowd?' the woman behind the counter asked.
Yes, ma'am ,' Fang said sweetly.
Yeah, him and all his split personalities, I thought." - The Angel Experiment

"Gazzy: (Hugging himself and jumping up and down) "I'm brilliant! I'm a genius! I can blow up the world!"
Max: (Raises her eyebrows)
Gazzy: "Not that I would want to, of course," (coughs)" - MAX

"I'm a girl of extremes. When I love something, I'm like a puppy dog (without all the licking). When I'm cranky, I'm a wasp (like a whole hive of 'em). And when I'm angry, I'm a Mother Bear with a predator after her cubs: Dangerous." - FANG

"Hello, Max," he said quietly, searching my face. "How do you feel?"
Which was a ten on the "imbecilic question" scale of one to ten.
"Why, I feel fine, Jeb," I said brightly. "How about you?"
"Any nausea? Headache?"
"Yep. And it's standing here talking to me." - Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports

"So the first thing we're gonna do," I told him, "is push you off the roof." - FANG

"The fight unfolded like background noise. White noise. In the foreground, even with his ghastly pale face looking dead in my hands, my fingers clenching his ragged hair, all I could see was random images of Fang, not dead.
Fang telling me stupid fart jokes from the dog crate next to mine at the school, trying to make me laugh.
Fang asleep at Jeb's old house, and me jumping wildly on his bed to wake him up. Him pretending to be asleep. Me laughing when I "accidentally" kicked him where it counts. Him dumping me off the bed.
Fang gagging on my first attempt at cooking dinner after Jeb disappeared. Him spitting out the mac and cheese. Me dumping the rest of the bowl on him in response.
Fang on the beach, that first time he was badly injured. Me realizing how I felt about him.
Fang kissing me. So close I couldn't even see his dark eyes anymore. The first time. The second time. The third.
I could always remember each and every one of them. Would always remember them.
Fang.
Not.
Dead." - FANG

"You can help each other, Max, said the unwelcome voice. You're perfect complements to each other.
"Shut up!" I hissed under my breath, and Dylan looked startled.
"I didn't say anything."
Gritting my teeth, I nodded. "No, I know. It's just-" I decided to take a risk and stare him down. "I hear voices, okay? If you're gonna be here, get used to it. Or else keep your distance." - FANG

James Patterson
"From Jess:
FANG.
I've commented your blog with my questions for THREE YEARS. You answer other people's STUPID questions but not MINE. YOU REALLY ASKED FOR IT, BUDDY. I'm just gonna comment with this until you answer at least one of my questions.

DO YOU HAVE A JAMAICAN ACCENT? No, Mon
DO YOU MOLT? Gross.
WHAT'S YOUR STAR SIGN? Dont know. "Angel what's my star sign?" She says Scorpio.
HAVE YOU TOLD JEB I LOVE HIM YET? No.
DOES NOT HAVING A POWER MAKE YOU ANGRY? Well, that's not really true...
DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DO THE SOULJA BOY? Can you see me doing the Soulja Boy?
DOES IGGY KNOW HOW TO DO THE SOULJA BOY? Gazzy does.
DO YOU USE HAIR PRODUCTS? No. Again,no.
DO YOU USE PRODUCTS ON YOUR FEATHERS? I don't know that they make bird kid feather products yet.
WHAT'S YOU FAVORITE MOVIE? There are a bunch
WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE SONG? I don't have favorites. They're too polarizing.
WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE SMELL? Max, when she showers.
DO THESE QUESTIONS MAKE YOU ANGRY? Not really.
IF I CAME UP TO YOU IN A STREET AND HUGGED YOU, WOULD YOU KILL ME? You might get kicked. But I'm used to people wanting me dead, so.
DO YOU SECRETLY WANT TO BE HUGGED? Doesn't everybody?
ARE YOU GOING EMO 'CAUSE ANGEL IS STEALING EVERYONE'S POWERS (INCLUDING YOURS)? Not the emo thing again.
WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE FOOD? Anything hot and delicious and brought to me by Iggy.
WHAT DID YOU HAVE FOR BREAKFAST THIS MORNING? Three eggs, over easy. Bacon. More Bacon. Toast.
DID YOU EVEN HAVE BREAKFAST THIS MORNING? See above.
DID YOU DIE INSIDE WHEN MAX CHOSE ARI OVER YOU? Dudes don't die inside.
DO YOU LIKE MAX? Duh.
DO YOU LIKE ME? I think you're funny.
DOES IGGY LIKE ME? Sure
DO YOU WRITE DEPRESSING POETRY? No.
IS IT ABOUT MAX? Ahh. No.
IS IT ABOUT ARI? Why do you assume I write depressing poetry?
IS IT ABOUT JEB? Ahh.
ARE YOU GOING TO BLOCK THIS COMMENT? Clearly, no.
WHAT ARE YOU WEARING? A Dirty Projectors T-shirt. Jeans.
DO YOU WEAR BOXERS OR BRIEFS? No freaking comment.
DO YOU FIND THIS COMMENT PERSONAL? Could I not find that comment personal?
DO YOU WEAR SUNGLASSES? Yes, cheap ones.
DO YOU WEAR YOUR SUNGLASSES AT NIGHT? That would make it hard to see.
DO YOU SMOKE APPLES, LIKE US? Huh?
DO YOU PREFER BLONDES OR BRUNETTES? Whatever.
DO YOU LIKE VAMPIRES OR WEREWOLVES? Fanged creatures rock.
ARE YOU GAY AND JUST PRETENDING TO BE STRAIGHT BY KISSING LISSA? Uhh...
WERE YOU EXPERIMENING WITH YOUR SEXUALITY? Uhh...
WOULD YOU TELL US IF YOU WERE GAY? Yes.
DO YOU SECRETLY LIKE IT WHEN PEOPLE CALL YOU EMO? No.
ARE YOU EMO? Whatever.
DO YOU LIKE EGGS? Yes. I had them for breakfast.
DO YOU LIKE EATING THINGS? I love eating. I list it as a hobby.
DO YOU SECRETLY THINK YOU'RE THE SEXIEST PERSON IN THE WHOLE WORLD? Do you secretly think I'm the sexiest person in the whole world?
DO YOU EVER HAVE DIRTY THOUGHTS ABOUT MAX? Eeek!
HAS ENGEL EVER READ YOUR MIND WHEN YOU WERE HAVING DIRTY THOUGHT ABOUT MAX AND GONE "OMG" AND YOU WERE LIKE "D:"? hahahahahahahahahahah
DO YOU LIKE SPONGEBOB? He's okay, I guess.
DO YOU EVER HAVE DIRTY THOUGHT ABOUT SPONGEBOB? Definitely
CAN YOU COOK? Iggy cooks.
DO YOU LIKE TO COOK? I like to eat.
ARE YOU, LIKE, A HOUSEWIFE? How on earth could I be like a housewife?
DO YOU SECRETLY HAVE INNER TURMOIL?
Isn't it obvious?
DO YOU WANT TO BE UNDA DA SEA? I'm unda da stars.
DO YOU THINK IT'S NOT TOO LATE, IT'S NEVER TOO LATE? Sure.
WHERE DID YOU LEARN TO PLAY POKER? TV.
DO YOU HAVE A GOOD POKER FACE? Totally.
OF COURSE YOU HAVE A GOOD POKER FACE. DOES IGGY HAVE A GOOD POKER FACE? Yes.
CAN HE EVEN PLAY POKER? Iggy beats me sometimes.
DO YOU LIKE POKING PEOPLE HARD? Not really.
ARE YOU FANGALICIOUS? I could never be as fangalicious as you'd want me to be.

Fly on,
Fang" - FANG (Btw, he is fangalicious)

"Do I open it? Do I open it? Of course I freaking open it!" - FANG

"Never underestimate the power of funny, it moves mountains." - FANG

"Listen, street punk. You're a guy, and you're a couple inches taller, and maybe forty pounds heavier, and ooh, you're in a gang. But I've survived ten years of Catholic school, and I will cut you off at your knees without a blink. Do you understand?" - ANGEL

"Great, they give blind kids guns," I said, trying to lessen his horror. "I don't even let Iggy have a gun. Usually." - ANGEL

"..."We want Max to... breed. To produce heirs. Who will govern the world after she dies."
Dead silence for quite some time. We all stared at Dr. Hans, our jaws dropped to various levels. Our lives had reached a new low of inhumanity.
My face flushed. Part of me had assumed, hoped, that if Fang and I lived long enough, we would get married. Maybe have a little flock of our own. But i really hadn't planned it all out. And he was gone now, anyway. How could I possibly ever find someone...
My eyes scanned Dylan's face, I saw his discomfort.
"Oh, no," I said in horror.
"Yes," Angel confirmed. "Freaking unbelievable." - ANGEL

"I fell into a deep sleep tucked in that little cocoon, a deeper sleep than I might of had in years.
Right up until someone kicked me and said "Gotcha!" - ANGEL

Dear Max –
You looked so beautiful today. I'm going to remember what you looked like forever. And I hope you remember me the same way – clean, ha-ha. I'm glad our last time together was happy.
But I'm leaving tonight, leaving the flock, and this time it's for good. I don't know if I'll ever see any of you again. The thing is, Max, that everyone is a little bit right. Added up all together, it makes this big one right.
Dylan's a little bit right about how my being here might be putting the rest of you in danger. The threat might have been just about Dr. Hans, but we don't know that for sure. Angel is a little bit right about how splitting up the flock will help all of us survive. And the rest of the flock is a little bit right about how when you and I are together, we're focused on each other – we can't help it.
The thing is, Maximum, I love you. I can't help but be focused on you when we're together. If you're in the room, I want to be next to you. If you're gone, I think about you. You're the one I want to talk to. In a fight, I want you at my back. When we're together, the sun is shining. When we're apart, everything is in shades of gray.
I hope you'll forgive me someday for turning our worlds into shades of gray – at least for a while.
You're not at your best when you're focused on me. I mean, you're at your best Maxness, but not your best leaderness. I mostly need Maxness. The flock mostly needs leaderness. And Angel, if you're listening to this, it ain't you sweetie. Not yet.
At least for a couple more years, the flock needs a leader to survive, no matter how capable everyone thinks he or she is. The truth is that they do need a leader, and the truth is that you are the best leader. It's one of the things I love about you.
But the more I thought about it, the more sure I got that this is the right thing to do. Maybe not for you, or for me, but for all of us together, our flock.
Please don't try to find me. This is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, besides wearing that suit today, and seeing you again will only make it harder. You'd ask me to come back, and I would, because I can't say no to you. But all the same problems would still be there, and I'd end up leaving again, and then we'd have to go through this all over again.
Please make us go through this only once.
I love you. I love your smile, your snarl, your grin, your face when you're sleeping. I love your hair streaming out behind you as we fly, with the sunlight making it shine, if it doesn't have too much mud or blood in it. I love seeing your wings spreading out, white and brown and tan and speckled, and the tiny, downy feathers right at the top of your shoulders. I love your eyes, whether they're cold or calculating or suspicious or laughing or warm, like when you look at me.
You're the best warrior I know, the best leader. You're the most comforting mom we've ever had. You're the biggest goofball, the worst driver, and a truly lousy cook. You've kept us safe and provided for us, in good times and bad. You're my best friend, my first and only love, and the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, with wings or without.
Tell you what sweetie: if in twenty years we haven't expired yet, and the world is still more or less in one piece, I'll meet you at the top of that cliff where we first met the hawks and learned to fly with them. You know the one. Twenty years from today, if I'm still alive, I'll be there waiting for you. You can bet on it.
Good-bye my love.
Fang
P.S. Tell everyone I sure will miss them - FANG (During the time Fang felt the need to be an a-hole. JS.)

“This is not a democracy," I said, understanding he fear but unable to do anything about it. "It's a Maxocracy.” - The Angel Experiment

"I love Nudge, Nudge is a great kid, but that motormouth of hers could have turned Mother Teresa into a killer." - The Angel Experiment

"Oh my God," said Fang. "None of us has ever driven."
It wasn't like him to have missed this important detail.
"I've seen people drive on TV," I said, trying to sound confident. "How hard could it be?" - The Angel Experiment

"I didn't know a van could go up on two wheels like that," Nudge said. "For so long."
"I don't want to barf in a 'borrowed' car," the Gasman said.
I pressed my lips together and focused on the road. Ingrates. "We need to turn east in about five hundred yards," I muttered, peering out the van window.
A half mile later, I pulled over and rested my head against the steering wheel. "Where the heck is the road?" I bellowed in frustration. "There is no freaking road there!"
"You're going by your own directional senses," Fang pointed out.
"And there can be roads everywhere you feel like there should be a road," Iggy added reasonably.
I wanted to smack them both.
Sighing, I pulled out onto the turnoff-less road and did a U-ey.
"I'll just have to take a less efficient route," I said. I hated the sense of time ticking by, of not knowing whether Angel was still alive. And worse, I hated knowing I was getting closer and closer to the School, where everything bad that had ever happened to us had taken place. It felt like I was driving toward certain death, and it was hard to make myself do that.
"Argh!" After yet another unexpected turn that led us away from where we should have been going, I pulled over again and punched the steering wheel several times. Every one of my muscles was tense from driving and worry. I had a bad headache. Lately, I'd been having a lot of headaches.
Gee, I wonder why?
"It's okay, Max," the Gasman said anxiously.
"Is she hitting the steering wheel?" Iggy asked.
"Look," said Fang, pointing to a sign. "There's a town up ahead and find an actual map. 'Cause this wandering thing ain't workin'."
Bennett was a small, almost cute town. I sat up tall in the driver's seat and frowned, trying to look older. There were several places to eat. I turned into a parking lot slowly and then oh-so-carefully edged the van toward the back of the lot, away from everyone else.
"I turned off the engine, and Nudge and Gazzy sprang from the door. "We're alive!" yelled the Gasman." - The Angel Experiment

"Am I tough? Am I strong? Am I hard-core? Absolutely. Did I whimper with pathetic delight when I sank my teeth into my hot fried-chicken sandwich? You betcha." - The Angel Experiment

"It's always refreshing to meet someone crazier than us," I said. "We seem so normal afterward."
"We?" Fang said. - The Angel Experiment

"I'm hungry," were, predictably Nudge's first words." - The Angel Experiment (cough cough)

"I clamped my lips together so I wouldn't answer it. When I wanted information, it was silent; when I didn't want to hear from it, it got chatty.
It was almost as irritating as Fang." - The Angel Experiment

"I squeezed my hands into fists. "I don't hate the world. The world hates me." - Gamer Girl

"Yes! The um, k-key? Oh, um, y-yes, what's it... um t-t-to?"
It was hard to believe this was the same guy who wrote witty IM with me under the egotistical yet well-earned pseudonym King-O-Ding.
Before I could answer, Kori was suddenly standing in front of me. "Yeah Serena. What is the key to?" I jerked at the sound of her throaty voice, bolting to my feet fast as if Josh and I had been doing something illicit in the grass.
If anyone had something to hide, it was her, I thought watching Parker Walsh's blue Mazda peel out. Parker Walsh, whose crowning achievement is coming up with 360 different ways to smoke a bowl, was the last person I wanted to see her catching a ride-of any kind- with.
Kori circled behind me and tucked her chin onto my shoulder. "Is it the key to your heart?" she asked in a husky whisper- like she was the one in love.
"Muuuaaahhhh. It's the key to the gates of hell."
"Kori lifted her chin off my shoulder and mimicked my evil tone. "It's the key to the crypt."
"It's the key to my cage."
"The key to success!"
"Yeah! There are ten of them!" It was kind of an inside joke.
The Ten Keys to Success is one of my mother's self-help books. It sits alongside many, many others, like the entire Chicken Soup collection. And then there was my personal favorite- Alien Nation: Understanding Today's Teenagers. Kori and I had a good laugh when we discovered that one. We went to the school's Halloween party as- you guessed it- aliens. When people asked about our costumes, we said we dressed as our true selves and it was the rest of the year that we wore costumes.
So when Kori exclaimed, "It's the key to the universe and beyond!" I cracked up. - Undone

"Kori flashed her wrist at me, changing the subject. "Think I should get this for real?"
She'd been drawing tattoos on her harm when I found her after school She's always doodling- on herself, in her notebooks. She creates the most amazing things. I wish I had her creativity, but game coding is the only thing I have that resembles artistry, and if you knew the truth you'd know it was really just a bunch of code - math, syntax, logic- brainiac stuff.
"Wow, Kor, that's amazing," I said, taking a moment to study it. The black formed perfect tribal waves in a cuff bracelet. Chinese symbols dangled like charms around it. "But don't you think it's kind of hypocritical, since you're anti cosmetic surgery and all?"
"I'm a vegetarian who loves cheeseburgers and a smoker who despises big business. I hate how my father tries to buy everyone's love but would love it if he would buy me a car when I turn 16. What do you want from me? I'm a complicated person." (aren't we all) - Undone

"Dude, what is it?" Another male voice came from the dark mouth of forest. Quarterback hero, Adrian17. "Bears?"
Anthony flashed a wicked grin. "Well, yeah, sort of. They are bare." - Undone

"Oprah says that there are no coincidences- everything has a purpose." Crap. Not Oprah. I'd already had my cell phone grounded, I didn't need to be tortured too. Mom waved the principal's note at me. "This is fate's way of giving you a wake-up call. Oprah says you get a whisper first, then you get a little pebble upside the head, next is a brick, then a brick wall, then a whole wall falls down on you. This is your whisper, Ser."
Hmmm... I was sort of hoping it was a pebble, because then I could chuck it at her." - Undone

"When we first became friends, Kori was obsessed with playing truth or dare. It was all we did. Kori, without fail, chose dare. There was nothing she wouldn't do. Lexi would hem and haw and eventually decide on the lesser of the two evils. I always chose truths. And Cole usually did the dare and then would confess the truth anyway. I don't think she really grasped the concept of the game.
I, on the other hand, learned very quickly how the game really works. How revealing truths can be more problematic in the long run. An unscrupulous player, say on who always takes dares and never truths, might... oh, I don't know... use your truths to do dares later. The ol' "So you have a monster crush on Matt Wood? I'll tell him, if you don't cut in front of Chelsea in the lunch line" while all you have got to come back with is "Oh, yeah? Well, I'll tell everyone you ate mayonnaise covered ice cream."
Um, yeah. No." - Undone

"I'm gonna be infamous, Ser."
"Don't you mean famous?"
"Hell, no! I'm much more suited for infamy. Doncha think? Famous people are forgotten. Infamous people live on forever." - Undone

"Serena, sometimes it's easier to think about loss in terms of physical elements. So tell me, if you were to lose your leg, what would you do? Would you be able to stand?"
"Sure, I would still have one good leg."
"Absolutely, but what if while you were standing on you one good leg I came up and gave you a a shove?"
"I'd probably fall down." And then kick you with my one good leg. - Undone

"You're scared to do. You're scared to be. You're scared to live. You're scared to die. You're always scared, so you must like it, and you love the cozy, safe feeling of escaping reality even more." - Undone

"I glanced back at his friends. From the collective looks on their faces, you might've thought Anthony had signed them up for Brokeback Mountain, the Musical. Although, I suppose to a junior guy, pressing things with another guy pretty much qualified as homosexual activity. After all, these were the very same guys who required an empty buffer seat between them at them movie theater. I grimaced apologetically at them. Before Anthony even had the SUV in park at the school lot, the guys shot out." - Undone

You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later. — Mitch Hedberg

One time, this guy handed me a picture of him. He said, "Here's a picture of me when I was younger." Every picture is of you when you were younger. "Here's a picture of me when I'm older.", "You son of a bitch! How'd you pull that off? Let me see that camera!" — Mitch Hedberg

“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.” ― Marilyn Monroe

“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.” ― Marilyn Monroe, Marilyn

“Ever notice how 'What the hell' is always the right answer?” ― Marilyn Monroe

“We should all start to live before we get too old. Fear is stupid. So are regrets.” ― Marilyn Monroe

“Who said nights were for sleep?” ― Marilyn Monroe

“If I'd observed all the rules, I'd never have got anywhere.” ― Marilyn Monroe

"Sixteen Moons, Sixteen Years
Sixteen of your deepest fears
Sixteen times you dreamed my tears
Falling, Falling through the years

Sixteen moons, sixteen years
Sound of thunder in your ears
Sixteen miles before she nears
Sixteen seeks what sixteen fears

Sixteen moons, sixteen years
sixteen times you dreamed my fears
Sixteen will try to Bind the spears
Sixteen screams just one hears

Sixteen moons, sixteen years
The Claiming moon, the hour nears
In these pages Darkness clears
Powers bind what fire sears

Sixteeth moon, Sixteenth year
now has come the day you fear
Claim or be Claimed
Shed blood, Shed tear
Moon or Sun- destroy, revere."
— Caster Chronicles, #1

"So you are a vampire."
"I most certainly am not." He looked annoyed. "That's such a common phrase, such a cliche, and so unflattering. I suppose you believe in werewolves and aliens too. I blame television." — Caster Chronicles, #1

"She was wearing a purple T-shirt, with a skinny black dress over it that made you remember how much of a girl she was, and trashed black boots that made you forget." —Caster Chronicles, #1

"You can't jump off a cliff when you've already fallen off a bigger one." — Caster Chronicles, #1

"In Light there is Dark, and in Dark there is Light." — Caster Chronicles, #2

"A vegetarian? Are you insane? That's worse than bein' a quarter demon!"
— Caster Chronicles, #2

"Are you kidding? I'm supposed to put my books in this filthy tin coffin?"
— Caster Chronicles, #3

"I don’t think Kitchen makes this. What’s it called again?"
"Jell-O Surprise." Link grinned.
"What’s the surprise?" Ridley examined the red gelatin more closely.
"What they put in it." — Caster Chronicles, #3

"Hey, Ethan."
"Yeah?"
"Remember the Twinkie on the bus? The one I gave you in second grade, the day we met?"
"The one you found on the floor and gave me without telling me? Nice."
He grinned and shot the ball. "It never really fell on the floor. I made that part up." — Caster Chronicles, #3

"Don’t spit down my back and tell me it’s raining." — Caster Chronicles #3

"There were only two kinds of people in our town. ―The stupid and the stuck- ―The ones who are bound to stay or too dumb to go. Everyone else finds a way out."
— Caster Chronicles, #1

"We are the choices we make."
— Chaos Walking, #1

"It's not how we fall. It's how we get back up again." — Chaos Walking, #3

"Knowledge is dangerous." — Chaos Walking, #1

"It's not the mistakes I made but how I responded to them" — Chaos Walking, #3

"We are the choices we make." - Chaos Walking #2

"He may have my soul, but he doesn't have my spirit." - Ghost Rider

"I'm the only one who can walk in both worlds. I'm the Ghost Rider." - Ghost Rider

"Morning, Bonehead." - Ghost Rider

"Caretaker: Contract of San Venganza.
Caretaker: [Johnny reaches for the Contract, Caretaker pulls it away] Hell on Earth.
Johnny Blaze: Now you're gonna have to trust me.
Caretaker: Why is that?
Johnny Blaze: He may have my soul but he doesn't have my spirit.
Caretaker: Any man that's got the guts to sell his soul for love has got the power to change the world. You didn't do it for greed, you did it for the right reason. Maybe that puts God on your side. To them that makes you dangerous, makes you unpredictable. That's the best thing you can be right now." - Ghost Rider

"You're a slow learner, aren't you, Rider? You cannot catch the wind!" - Ghost Rider

"Caretaker: You all right?
Johnny Blaze: Yeah, I'm good. I feel like my skull is on fire, but I'm good. " - Ghost Rider

"Ghost Rider: [to Blackheart] Look into my eyes.
Blackheart: [starts screaming, but then laughs] Your Penance Stare won't work on me. I've no soul to burn." - Ghost Rider

"Roxanne Simpson: [after Johnny tells her he's the Devil's Bounty Hunter] The way I see it is I've got a couple of choices: I could either accept that you really believe what you're telling me is true, & take you to the nearest psychiatric hospital.
Johnny Blaze: You see, now that...
Roxanne Simpson: Or, I realize that you'd rather make up ridiculous stories than be honest with me... and I walk out of that door... forever." - Ghost Rider

"Thank you for telling me I'm the devil's bounty hunter." - Ghost Rider

"Johnny Blaze: [Blaze's crew looks at him incredulously after watching footage of his crash] What?
Mack: "What". You should be taking a dirt nap after that ragdoll today.
Johnny Blaze: I got lucky.
Mack: No, I got a huntin dog named Lucky. He's got one eye and no nuts. Luck don't cover it, JB. Man, you got an angel looking after you.
Johnny Blaze: Yeah maybe.
[after Mack walks away, looks out the window; to himself]
Johnny Blaze: Maybe it's something else. " - Ghost Rider

"Roxanne Simpson: So, could you tell us about The Good Samaritan?
Girl in Alley: Well, I'll never forget him, that's for sure. He was tall, broad shoulders, and thin, really thin, like bony. He had this rad chopper, it was all flames and stuff. Oh, and his face was a skull and it was on fire.
Roxanne Simpson: "On fire?"
Girl in Alley: Yeah, like...
[hisses and mimes flames with her hands]
Girl in Alley: ... like that much fire, and I know it sounds weird but it looked good on him. I mean, it was an edge look but he totally pulled it off. " - Ghost Rider

"Johnny Blaze: [approaching Blackheart] How does it feel to have all that evil inside of you? All their power?
[turns into the Ghost Rider]
Ghost Rider: All their souls? A thousand souls to burn. Look into my eyes. Your souls are stained with the blood of the innocent. Feel their pain.
[Blackheart starts screaming and goes into a catonic state. The Ghost Rider throws him on the floor]." - Ghost Rider

"Officer Mackie: I have a suspect fleeing west on Cherry. Repeat, west on Cherry.
Dispatcher: That's a dead end. You got him.
Officer Mackie: 10-4 on that.
[Ghost Rider drives the Hell Cycle up alongside the building]
Dispatcher: What's the suspect's location?
Officer Mackie: Up.
Dispatcher: What?
Officer Mackie: The suspect is going up. " - Ghost Rider

I wear black because it blends well with my soul.

Is it bad if I laugh uncontrollably at the sight of my own blood?

The devil's driving my car tonight and he's drunk. He's pissed, he's mad and I don't care which of you he fucks up.

"I have many doors—let us see which one you open. Just know that behind each different door there is a different me behind it."

If these thoughts had a gut they would swallow me whole.

Watch me as I make every right choice wrong.

Sometimes when I open my eyes in the morning I can't help but wonder, is it really such a great thing to be alive?

Nothing like pain to remind you that you are still alive.

Those with the greatest awareness have the greatest nightmares.

You come to this world alone. You leave this world alone. What makes you think that you can escape loneliness while you're here?

My finger's on the trigger and you're in my way.

Go ahead, kiss her. I hope she bites your lip and you choke on the blood.

They say when you get knocked down get back up. But what if you have been knocked down so much you’re tired of getting up?

I don't lie but I never tell the truth.

Didn't you hear, heaven didn't want me and hell was afraid I'd take over...

People are like slinkies; basically useless, but ever so amusing to watch fall down the stairs.

There is always some form of truth in deception…

The darkest souls are not those which choose to exist within the hell of the abyss, but those which choose to move silently among us.

Hate me for I am a sinner, but hate yourself first.

Your worst nightmares are my sickest desires.

We're all bizarre, some of us are just better at hiding it.

Sometime the things we dream about the most, are the things our heart fears most.

No one holds command over me. No man. No god. No prince. What is a claim of age for ones who are immortal? What is a claim of power for ones who defy death? Call your damnable hunt. We shall see who I drag screaming back to hell with me.

What do we need to defeat evil after good has failed? A greater evil of course.

Your little light is like a candle trying to outshine the sun.

Anger doesn't even begin to explain it. Frustration? Nah. Wanting to rip out the soul of the next person to walk by? YES.

Come closer and let me show you the art of drowning...

The higher you fly the further you fall.

You can say you know how I feel from just looking to my face, but I guess everything I am, I hide on the inside.

Rip out my heart; put it out of its misery. It deserved better than I gave it.

In the darkness you don’t see what stares back at you...

I don’t stay in the darkness so that people can’t find me, but to see who’s brave enough to look.

If you're always happy, after a while, even being happy doesn't make you happy anymore. So being sad sometimes is a good thing, I think.

Darkness never really goes away, not once you've seen it.

I have a scary question: Is it me or my reflection? Now here's a scarier one: Is there even a difference anymore?

My tears are dry, my smile is fake, what more do you want?

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile

If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile.

If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites, copy this in your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

Copy this into your profile if you LOVE Fang!

If you've ever done anything incredibly stupid for no apparent reason, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Fang is so smexy he is on the verge of exploding from smexiness, copy and paste this in your profile.

Copy this and paste it on your profile if you think sarcasm is a conditioned reflex.

If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.

If you ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this to your profile

If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this to your profile

If you have ever copy and pasted something to your profile, copy and paste this to your profile

If you are obsessed with fan fiction copy this into your profile

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

"I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone.

92 of teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch or American Eagle said it was uncool to breathe. if you are part of the 8 that would stand there and laugh, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to inanimate objects like they were people, and then tried to get others to do it too, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fan fictions, copy this onto your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

I do not do drugs. I do sugar. If you're someone who does sugar, copy this into your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

If you’ve ever made faces in front of a security camera then paste this in your profile

If you have ever said something and two seconds later, completely forgot, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you get bored easily post this on your profile.

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you complain that your feet are cold and your mom tells you to put socks on and you don't just for the sake of being stubborn, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think Fang is Fangalicious, copy and paste this into your profile!

If Faxness is one of your obsessions, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you wish you were Max Ride just so you could make out with Fang, copy and paste this into your profile.

"I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no fucking way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating student as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that shit up in 2 seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, oh shit, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole."

If your friend(s) think you’re crazy for reading a book about six flying kids (and their talking dog) and you don’t care copy and paste this is your profile.

If you have/wish you had a dog, and wish he could talk like Total, copy this onto your profile.

If you absolutely KILLED yourself laughing when Gazzy said "'I vill now destroy de Snickurs bahrs!' then copy this to your profile!

If you still laugh rereading Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

If you relate everything to Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you love Fang from Maximum Ride and drool over him, even though you have never even seen him, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are SO obsessed with Maximum Ride that it is not even FUNNY anymore, post this in your profile.

If you wish Max would stop running from Fang copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you fell over laughing when the Uber-Director gave the Flock birdseed, copy this to your profile.

If your started laughing when you found out an enemy in Maximum Ride was the Uber-Director, copy this to your profile.

If you are openly a nerd, copy this to your profile.

If you took the time to read all of these (and you usually do), copy and paste this onto your profile.

I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal.
I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face.
I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a friend on a cell phone or regular phone.
I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year.
I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.
BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Maximum Ride, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone: Iheartjake, TeamJacob101, Boysareadrag, The Dawn Is Breaking, secilmis yazar, Bojangles78, Zeorzia, fangsgirl123, 21reeree21, Fang's Bookworm Sister, InvisibleDarkShadow

YOUR GUY SIDE: (things I am are in bold)

You love hoodies.

You love jeans.

Dogs are better than cats.

It's hilarious when people get hurt.

You've played with/against boys on a team.

Shopping is torture.

Sad movies suck.

You want/have an X-Box.

Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid

At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.

You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.

You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers

You watch sports on TV

Gory movies are cool.

You go to your dad for advice.

You own like a trillion baseball caps.

You like going to school football games.

You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.

Baggy pants are cool to wear.

It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.

Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.

You love to go crazy and not care what people think.

Sports are fun.

Talk with food in your mouth.

Sleep with your socks on at night.

Total= 23/25

YOUR GIRL SIDE: (things I am are bold)

You wear lip gloss.

You love to shop.

You wear eyeliner.

You wear the color pink.

Go to your mom for advice.

You consider cheerleading a sport

You hate wearing the color black.

You like hanging out at the mall.

You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.

You like wearing jewelry.

Skirts/short-shorts are a big part of your wardrobe.

Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.

You don't like the movie Star Wars.

It takes you around/ more than one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.

You smile a lot more than you should.

You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.

You care about what you look like.

You like wearing dresses when you can.

You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.

You love the movies.

Used to play with dolls as a little kid.

Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.

Like being the star of every thing.

Total= 3/25

Weird, considering I'm a girl...

PREP

You own a cell phone.

you own something from abercrombie

You own something from pacsun

you own something from Hollister

You own something from American Eagle

You love/like going to the mall.

You own an iPod/MP3 player.

You love Starbucks.

You have been called a brat.

You hate buying things that are on sale

You have more than one house

total:4

GOTHIC

Black is one of your favorite colors.

You have thought about death.

You wear chains.

You like heavy metal.

You've shopped at Hot Topic.

You have worn black lipstick.

Your hair was/is dark.

You dislike preps.

You're an athiest/ satanist/agnostic.

total:9

PUNK

You can skateboard

You've worn plaid.

you like Converse

you hate MTV

You have/had blue, pink, red, purple, or green hair. - (streeks count)

You dislike pink.

You hate/dislike preps.

You wear/wore skateboarding shoes.

total:7

GEEK

You love the computer.

You like Harry Potter.

you are supposed to wear glasses/contacts

You get straight A's.-(most of the time, not always)

You love/like reading.

You were/are in band

You don't care what you look like.

You have a curfew.

You always do your homework.

you never miss school unless you're sick.

total:5

Athletic

You watch/watched the Superbowl.

You own track shoes or other sports related shoes.

You collect your jerseys.

you have a wall or shelf dedicated to your trophies / awards

You have posters or plaques of famous athletes.

your garage consists of sports equiptment

You belong/belonged to a school team.

You are going/did go to a sports summer camp.

You have a specific number

total:2

HARDCORE//scene

You like loud music

You love/loved the Ninja Turtles

You never walk anywhere.

you wear slip-on shoes.

You wear/wore Vans.

You like the band panic! at the disco.

You wear band t-shirts.

People have called you a freak and meant it.

You love to "hardcore" dance

hair has been died more than 1 color--dark red, orange red, black, blue, and purple

total:9

Bold the stereotypes that fit you

I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant
I’m a TREEHUGGER, so I MUST be a drug addicted hippie
I have GOOD GRADES, so I MUST be a nerd
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH of GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm UNDERWEIGHT so I MUST have an eating disorder
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon.
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be snobby.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs/nuts.
I read COMICS, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I like/watch/draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy.
I CHAT ONLINE, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins.
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion.
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IMMATURE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I'm A WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick and I MUST worship the devil.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast.
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm AUSTRALIAN so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroos.
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I LOVE MARCHING BAND, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I AM FRIENDS WITH A CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I CRY EASILY, so I MUST be a wimp.
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake.
I DONT LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems.

"X" the things I've done before.

x You've run into a glass/screen door.

x Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talking.

x You have jumped out of a moving vehicle

x You have thought of something funny and laughed, then people gave you weird look
x You have run into a tree/bush.
x You know that it IS possible to lick your elbow
x You have tried to lick your elbow
You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle , Twinkle Little _Star have the same tune.
You just tried to sing them
x You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen.

You have seen the Matrix and still don't get it.
x You've never seen the Matrix.

You type only with two fingers.
x You have accidentally caught something on fire

x You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose/eyes.

x You have caught yourself drooling.
x You have fallen asleep in class and started to talk/drool, or snore.
x Sometimes you just stop thinking.
x You are telling a story and forget what you were talking about.

x People often shake their heads and walk away from you.

x You are often told to use your 'inside voice'.
x You use your fingers to do simple math.
x You have eaten a bug (ew, yes, unfortunately i have)

x You are taking this test when you should be doing something more important.
x You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn't realize it.
x You've looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand.
You forward forwards because you are scared that what they say _will happen to you if you don 't .
x You break a lot of things.
x Your friends know not to use big words around you.
x You tilt your head when you're confused.
x You have fallen out of your chair before.
x When you're lying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture of the ceiling.
x The word 'um' is used many times a day

10 Commandments of a Teenager

1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
(why wait that long)
2) Thou shall not do drugs.
(alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.)
3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Walmart has a bigger selection)
4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(destruction has a bigger effect, I can tell you all about this)
5) Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(everyone knows grandma has more money)
6) Thou shall not get into fights.
(Start them.)
7) Thou shall not skip class.
(just take the whole day off)
8) Thou shall not strip in class.
(Hooters pays more)
9) Thou shall not think about having sex.
(like Nike says, "just do it")
10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
(just leave'm in the middle)

This is the stupid test! 100 stupid things that people do! (BOLDED)

1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out
2. Gotten your head stuck between the stair rails
3. Broken a chair by leaning back in it
4. Had gum fall out of your mouth while you were talking
5. Choked on your own spit while you were talking
6. Had people tell you that you are blonde when you're not/or had had people tell you that your blonde highlights are going to your head
7. Been caught staring at your crush by your crush him/herself
8. Have looked for something for at least 10 min then realized it was in your hand
9. Tried to push open a door that said pull
10. Tried to pull open a door that said push
11. Have actually believed someone when they said that they knew how to make a love potion
12. Have hit yourself in the process of trying to hit something else
13. Have tripped and fallen UP the stairs
14. Have actually exploded marshmallows in the microwave
15. Have gotten gum stuck in your hair
16. Had gum fall out of your mouth while trying to blow a bubble
17. Have had the juice from a mini tomato squirt out and hit somebody else when you bit into it
18. Have had your drink come out your nose because you were laughing so hard
19. Have called one of your good friends by the wrong name
20. Have skinned your toe because you were playing soccer or football with flip flops on or you were barefoot
21. Have put a sticker on your forehead, forgot it was there, and went out in public with it on
22. Have fallen out of a moving vehicle.
23. Have run into a closed door
24. Have almost shot someone with a real gun while trying to shoot something else
25. Searched for your cell phone while you were talking on it
26. It has taken you longer than 5 min to get a joke
27. Have gotten your hair stuck in a blow dryer
28. Have gotten your hair stuck in a fan
29. Tripped on a crack in the sidewalk
30. Said o'clock after saying how many min after the hour, example: 5:30 o'clock, or 6:15 o'clock
31. After someone told you that there was gum on the ground, you stepped in it
32. Put on a white shirt even though you already knew it was raining outside
33. Have ever walked up to a stranger because you thought they were someone else
34. Ever been kicked out of a grocery store/off their property
35. Touched the stove, the curling iron, a hot pan, etc on purpose even though you knew it was hot
36. Picked out your change of clothes, took off the ones you had on and then accidentally put the old clothes back on
37. Wondered why something wasn't working then realized it wasn't plugged in
38. Put the cereal in the fridge, or put the milk in the cupboard
39. Walked into a pole
40. Wore two different earrings or shoes by accident
41. Put your shirt on backwards/inside-out without realizing it then left your house
42. Tried to take a picture of your/someone's eye with the flash on
43. Gotten a ring stuck on your finger because you put it on even though you knew it was too small
44. Walked out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to your shoe without realizing it
45. Went to go do something/go get something, then when you got there forgot what is was that you were going to do.
46. Picked up someone else's drink and drank out of it by accident when your drink was right next to it
47. Fallen out of your chair while trying to pick something up
48. Have poked yourself in the eye
49. Have gotten in the shower with your socks still on
50. Melted your hairbrush while blow drying your hair
51. Have done enough stupid things to make a test
52. Have accidentally stabbed yourself with a pencil
53. Have sung the wrong verse to a song without realizing it
54. Have given an odd answer to a question because you didn't hear the question in the first place and didn't feel like asking what it was.
55. Told someone you were the wrong age because you seriously forgot how old you were
56. Looked into an overhead light purposefully while it was on
57. Got up early and got ready for school/work/meeting, then realized that you didn't have school/work/meeting that day.
58. Have tripped on a cord after someone told you to watch out for it
60. Have ever laughed at a joke that no one else thought was funny or a movie
61. Done the Macarena to the electric slide or vice versa
62. Said funner, then had someone make fun of you for it
63. Have repeated yourself at least twice in the same sentence
64. Brought up an inside joke with the wrong person
65. Didn't do the backside of an assignment because you thought that there wasn't one because you had already looked and forgot that there was another side
66. Did more work than you had to on an assignment because you didn't read the directions
67. Corrected someone's grammar/pronunciation then figured out that you were the one that was wrong
68. Put something in a special place so that you would remember where it was, then forgot where you put it
69. Put ice in your drink after the glass was full of liquid and had it splash out-
70. you had said orTold a lie then forgot what it was that and and got caught
71. When wearing goggles, you pulled them away from your face and let go so that they would come back and snap you in the face
72. Forgot to make sure that the lamp was off before you replaced the light bulb
73. Ran into a door jam
74. Told someone that you hardly ever do stupid things, then immediately did/said something stupid
75. Told someone to watch out for something, then you were the one that ran into it
76. Have purposely licked playground sand
77. Have purposely and repeatedly flicked yourself with a rubber band
78. Gotten so hyper that someone actually thought you were drunk when you weren't
79. Have been so hyper you actually scared people
80. Put duct tape on your body then pulled it off to see if it would pull your hairs out
81. Put duct tape on your hair/someone else's hair then pulled it off
82. Put a clothes pin/hair clip on your lip, figured out that it hurt, then did it again
83. Sat and wondered why men’s dress shirts have a loop on the back.
84. Made up a code name for someone so that you could talk about them to someone else and no one else would know who you were talking about
85. Have gotten a hairbrush stuck in your hair
86. Used the straw to blow the straw wrapper at someone.
87. Shaved your tongue because you thought your taste buds looked weird
88. When at a restaurant/cafeteria, you used your spoon to fling stuff at

89. Have flung forks at people in a restaurant/cafeteria
90. Sucked on a cup and got a hickey from it.
91. As you were writing, you moved your head back and forth with your pen/pencil
92. Have drawn finger puppets on your fingers then named them
93. Have wrapped someone in a roll of toilet paper
94. Have used somebody else's toothbrush without even realizing it wasn't yours
95. Started telling a story and forget what you were talking about or what happened in the story
96. When you saw a ‘beware of dog’ sign, you told the owners to beware of the dogs not realizing they owned the dogs
97. You have spelled your own name wrong before
98. When lying in bed you look for pictures in the texture of the ceiling.
99. Have used your calculator as a form of communication in class
100. Have popped a balloon in your mouth

You know you're a writer...

-If you talk to yourself.
-If you talk to yourself about talking to yourself (i.e. ‘I wonder why I talk to myself so much?’)
-If, when you talk to yourself, you sometimes speak as if talking to another person (i.e. ‘Okay, so have you ever noticed that the word ‘deliver’ could mean removing someone’s liver?’)
-If, after uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand in awe and say, ‘Wow, this is good stuff for sugar highs!’
-If you live off of sugar and caffeine.
-If people start to notice that you tend to check your e-mail every day for a week, then suddenly disappear off the face of the planet.
-If your e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.
-If, when replying to someone else’s e-mail, you are sometimes so random that you fail to address the original message altogether.
-If you tend to collect the Bic Stics people leave lying around, kind of like picking pennies off the ground.
-If, no matter where you are in your room, you never have to so much as get up to reach a pen/pencil and paper.
-If the letters are starting to wear off on the keys of your keyboard.
-If people think you might have A.D.D.
-If you think it’d be cool to have A.D.D.
-If you start constantly talking in third person, past tense.
-If you think about making lists like this, and start giggling for no ‘apparent’ reason.
-If your friends don’t even bother to look funny at you anymore when you start giggling for no apparent reason.

1. Do you think Iggy is hot?

I guess...

2. Did you cry when Ari died?

Yeah, he shouldn't have died.

3. Do you think Fang is hot?

Who doesn't?

4. How do you pronounce Ari's name?

I pronounce it like you would in the beginning of the name "Arianna."

5. Do you laugh every time you read the name Mr. Chu?

Yeah. I think of Chewbakka

6. -SPOILER ALERT- In MAX, did you laugh hysterically when Total started talking about marriage?

Who didn't?!

7. -SPOILER ALERT- Did you squeal at all the faxness in MAX?

My friends said it was the happiest they've ever seen me. So, yeah.

8. Did you angrily throw your book across the room when the flock split up?

Who didn't?!

9. Who is your favorite character?

Max.

10. Do you like Jeb?

No.

11. -SPOILER ALERT- Were you making a genuine "WTF" face when Max and Fang grew gills?

...Yeah.

12. Did you think MAX was better than TFW?

No, but that poem was pretty cool.

13. -SPOILER ALERT- Did you get slightly fed up with Nudge and Angel's slight attitudes in MAX?

Nudge's I was okay with. But with Angel, I was ready to rip her head off.

14. Which book is your all time favorite?

FANG, ANGEL, STWAOES, THA, MAX, SOF and TFW

15. If the flock had a theme song, what would it be?

Gothic Angel or Bad Reputation.

16. Have you ever imagined the flock as a band playing whatever song comes up when listening to your iPod?

Duh.

17. Who do you think the voice should be?

I think it's Mike, from the sewer, you know?

18. Do you think one or more members of the flock should learn to play an instrument?

I can see Fang playing guitar! And Max playing the drums, Angel played the Ukelele, Total on the triangle, Gasman plays keyboard, Nudge on guitar and Iggy on bass.

19. What bugged you the most about TFW?

It had nothing to do with the other books. Too global warming obsessed.

20. MIGGY or FAX?

Fax all the way.

You Know You're Obsessed With Maximum Ride When...

1. You're friends think you're crazy for being obsessed with six flying kids and their talking dog.
2. You see someone in a white lab coat then run off screaming.
3. You've called one of your siblings/friends/family members Max, Fang, Iggy, Nudge, Gazzy, or Angel.
4. You refuse to talk to anyone who's named Ari.
5. You claim you have wings.
6. You drool when you hear the word 'Fang'.
7. You daydream about meeting the flock.
8. You've reread Maximum Ride about 3 times or more.
9. You look for the flock's theme songs and get excited when you find one that fits perfect.
10. You study about birds.
11. You hate science class/refuse to dissect any type of animal.
12. You have a crush on Iggy or Fang or both.
13. You read Fang's blog daily. Even though you know it's JP talking.
14. You're waiting for your 'Nick Ride'.
15. You are counting down the days for the next book. (Which is coming out March 15, 2010)
16. You will go to the first opening for the movie, even if it's at midnight.
17. You look in the mirror cautiously to make sure your reflection is not an Eraser.
18. You hate dog crates.
19. You think scientists are evil.
20. You argue with people if Max is a girl's name or a guy's.
21. When your spending the night at a friend's, you say you'll take first watch.
22. You've found a new respect for blind people.
23. You think MR is the best series ever and you want to meet James Patterson, author.
24. You say 'U and A' a lot.
25. You think you have a Voice like Max.
26. You've gotten your Online Friends hooked on it.
27. You use sarcastic remarks from MR.
28. You know what 'Fax' is.
29. You were one of the characters from MR for Halloween.
30. You claim to have brain attacks.
31. You protect your thoughts. Angel might be reading them.
32. You give a crazy look to people who don't know what MR is.
33. You daydream of flying.
34. You love chocolate chip cookies.
35. You seriously felt like you were in the book.
36. If you want to become a writer because of MR
37. If they make a poster, shirt, key-chain, button, anything MR you will buy it.
38. If you love Fan-fiction.
39. In school, it's hard to concentrate because you're thinking of Maximum Ride.
40. You want a talking dog.

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

ACTUAL PRODUCT LABELS:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

If you've had a person who you've loved like a sibling, but you were torn apart by circumstances, you're not alone. Copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to this list: SeekDreamsAndFindHope, Fangalicous08, MaxRyde12, InvisibleDarkShadow

You know you lived in 2010when...
1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have a screen name or myspace.
4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV.
6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.
7.) You read this list, & keep nodding and smiling.
8.) As you read this list, you think about sending it to all your friends.
9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.
10.) You actually scrolled back up to check that there was a number 5.
11.) & now you're laughing at your stupidity.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for it. And you know you did. I did.