Hello. I am Kindle Fire HD. I am not the best at writing stories but I hope I will be able to put some good ones up.

I thought I would tell you a little about me. Not anything that can help a stalker of just random stuff about me. Here it goes:

Age: 16

Birthday: June 22nd

Crazy?: Yes

Do I want to be on organ donation registrar: Yes

Evil Plans: None...Yet

Family I live with: Mum, Dad and younger brother

Hobbies: Reading

If I could be anything what would I be: Actor

Job: No, but I am looking.

Killed anyone: Maybe...No, I'm just kidding of course I have...n't

Longest car ride: I think I spent nearly a whole day in a car. One of most boring days.

M

N

Operations: 1 (Hope I never have to live through another one)

Pets: 2 dogs

Q

R

Strengths: Uhhhhhhhhh...

T

Usernames: I was Sibuna all the way, but wanted to change it so I did, but I could not find one that someone was not using. (Someone is even There are no usernames out there I mean seriously who has that?!!)

Vegetarian: Hell No

Wish: To fall in love (I know it's cheesy but it;s what I want)

X-rays: Yes, I have had some but they are all boring. They are just for my teeth witch is done at the dentist.

Y

Zodiac Sign: Cancer

95% of girls would scream if Justin Bieber went missing: Paste this on your profile if you are one of 5% who would smile and poke your new prisoner with a stick

Dear Bullies,

That boy you punched in the halls? Just committed suicide a few minutes ago. That girl you called a slut today? She's a virgin. That boy you called lame? He has to work every night to support his family. That girl you pushed down the stairs yesterday? She's already being abused at home. That girl you called fat? She's starving herself. That old man you made fun of because of his ugly scars? He fought for our country. The boy you made fun of for crying? His mother is dying. You think you know them? Guess what, you don't.

Re-post if you are against bullying. I'll bet 98% of you don't, there may be 2% with a heart.

I think this is so cute, I would love it if it happened to me. I know it never would because know that I have read it, and if it ever happened to me in real life then I know what would happen.

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Choose, me or your life

Boy: My life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

Re-post if you also think this is adorable.

Don't ya just wanna say this to the people you hate?

I have watched CSI, NCIS, Law and Order and Criminal Minds. I could kill you in 50 ways and still make it seem like an accident.

What the cutest couple ever would say:

Girl: Can I hold your hand?

Boy: No

Girl: Why?

Boy: Because it'll hurt to much when you let go.

Why I sometimes hate the universe:

No one notices your tears,

No one notices your sadness,

No one notices your pain.

But they all notice your mistakes.

For the people I love:

If you need me, call me. I don't care if I'm sleeping, if I'm having my own problems or I'm angry at you. If you need me or need to talk with me, I'll always be there for you. No matter how big or how small your problem is, I'll be there because I love you.

This is the stupidity test! 100 stupid things that people do! Bold the ones that you have done!

1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out.

2. Gotten your head stuck between the stair rails.

3. Broken a chair by leaning back in it.

4. Had gum fall out of your mouth while you were talking.

5. Choked on your own spit while you were talking.

6. Had people tell you that you are blond when you're not./Had people tell you that your blonde highlights are going to your head.

7. Been caught staring at your crush by your crush him/herself.

8. Have looked for something for at least 10 min then realized it was in your hand.

9. Tried to push open a door that said pull.

10. Tried to pull open a door that said push.

11. Have actually believed someone when they said that they knew how to make a love potion.

12. Have hit yourself in the process of trying to hit something else.

13. Called the wrong person on the phone and started talking about personal things.

14. Have actually exploded marshmallows in the microwave.

15. Have gotten gum stuck in your hair.

16. Had gum fall out of your mouth while trying to blow a bubble.

17. Have had the juice from a mini tomato squirt out and hit somebody else when you bit into it.

18. Have had your drink come out your nose because you were laughing so hard.

19. Have called one of your good friends by the wrong name.

20. Have skinned your toe because you were playing soccer or kickball with flip flops on or you were barefoot.

21. Have put a sticker on your forehead, forgot it was there, and went out in public with it on.

22. Have fallen out of a moving vehicle.

23. Have run into a closed door.

24. Have almost shot someone with a real gun while trying to shoot something else.

25. Searched for your mobile phone while you were talking on it.

26. It has taken you longer than 5 min to get a joke.

27. Have gotten your hair stuck in a blow dryer.

28. Have gotten your hair stuck in a fan.

29. Tripped on a crack in the pavement.

30. Said o'clock after saying how many min after the hour, example: 5:30 o'clock, or 6:15 o'clock.

31. After someone told you that there was gum on the ground, you stepped in it.

32. Put on a white shirt even though you already knew it was raining outside.

33. Have ever walked up to a stranger because you thought they were someone else.

34. Ever been kicked out of a supermarket/off their property.

35. Touched the stove, the curling iron, a hot pan, etc on purpose even though you knew it was hot. If you knew me, it’d be obvious.

36. Picked out your change of clothes, took off the ones you had on and then accidentally put the old clothes back on.

37. Wondered why something wasn't working then realized it wasn't plugged in.

38. Put the cereal in the fridge, or put the milk in the cupboard.

39. Walked into a pole.

40. Wore two different earrings or shoes by accident.

41. Put your shirt on backwards/inside-out without realizing it then left your house.

42. Tried to take a picture of your/someone's eye with the flash on .

43. Gotten a ring stuck on your finger because you put it on even though you knew it was too small.

44. Walked out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to your shoe without realizing it.

45. Went to go do something/go get something, then when you got there forgot what is was that you were going to do

46. Picked up someone eases drink and drank out of it by accident when your drink was right next to it.

47. Fallen out of your chair while trying to pick something up.

48. Have poked yourself in the eye.

49. Have gotten in the shower with your socks still on.

50. Melted your hairbrush while blow drying your hair

51. Have done enough stupid things to make a test.

52. Have accidentally stabbed yourself with a pencil.

53. Have sung the wrong verse to a song without realizing it.

54. Have given an odd answer to a question because you didn't hear the question in the first place and didn't feel like asking what it was.

55. Told someone you were the wrong age because you seriously forgot how old you were.

56. Looked into an overhead light purposely while it was on.

57. Got up early and got ready for school/work/meeting, then realized that you didn't have school/work/meeting that day.

58. Have tripped on a cord after someone told you to watch out for it.

59. Painted your fingernails, and got so impatient while letting them dry that you did stuff that messed up all that work.

60. Have ever laughed at a joke or movie or story that no one else thought was funny.I am always laughing at stuff I read in books even though it is never funny.

61. Done the Macarena to the electric slide or vice versa.

62. Said funner, then had someone make fun of you for it.

63. Have repeated yourself at least twice in the same sentence.

64. Brought up an inside joke with the wrong person.

65. Didn't do the backside of an task because you thought that there wasn't one or because you had already looked and forgot that there was another side.

66. Did more work than you had to on an task because you didn't read the directions.

67. Corrected someone's grammar/pronunciation then figured out that you were the one that was wrong.

68. Put something in a special place so that you would remember where it was, then forgot where you put it.

69. Put ice in your drink after the glass was full of liquid and had it splash out.

70. Told a lie then forgot what it was that you had said and got caught.

71. When wearing goggles, you pulled them away from your face and let go so that they would come back and snap you in the face.

72. Forgot to make sure that the lamp was off before you replaced the light bulb.

73. Ran into a door frame.

74. Told someone that you hardly ever do stupid things, then immediately did/said something stupid.

75. Told someone to watch out for something, then you were the one that ran into it.

76. Have purposely licked playground sand.

77. Have purposely and repeatedly flicked yourself with a rubber band.

78. Gotten so hyper that someone actually thought you were drunk when you weren't.

79. Have been so hyper you actually scared people.

80. Put duct tape on your body then pulled it off to see if it would pull your hairs out.

81. Put duct tape on your hair/someone else's hair then pulled it off.

82. Put a clothes pin/hair clip on your lip, figured out that it hurt, then did it again.

83. Sat and wondered why men’s dress shirts have a loop on the back.

84. Made up a code name for someone so that you could talk about them to someone else and no one else would know who you were talking about.

85. Have gotten a hairbrush stuck in your hair.

86. Used the straw to blow the straw wrapper at someone. I do this all the time at McDonald's.

87. Shaved your tongue because you thought your taste buds looked weird.

88. When at a restaurant/cafeteria, you used your spoon to fling stuff at people.

89. Have flung forks at people in a restaurant/cafeteria.

90. Sucked on a cup and got a hickey from it.

91. As you were writing, you moved your head back and forth with your pen/pencil.

92. Have drawn finger puppets on your fingers then named them.

93. Have wrapped someone in a roll of toilet paper.

94. Have used somebody else's toothbrush without even realizing it wasn't yours.

95. Started telling a story and forget what you were talking about or what happened in the story.

96. When you saw a ‘beware of dog’ sign, you told the owners to beware of the dogs not realizing they owned the dogs.

97. You have spelled your own name wrong before.

98. When lying in bed you look for pictures in the texture of the ceiling.

99. Have used your calculator as a form of communication in class.

100. Have popped a balloon in your mouth.

50/100...Would have thought I would have been crazier than that.

Ships:

Fabina (Fabian and Nina)

Peddie (Patricia and Eddie)

Amfie (Amber and Alfie)

Jara (Jerome amd Mara)

Moy (Mick and Joy)

Anyone who disagrees with me can go * themselves

You know you're a House of Anubis fan when...

What I've done is in italics

You can't hear the term "party animal" without thinking of Alfie.

You can't listen to your history teacher talk about Lewis and Clark without giggling.

You can't think about prom without thinking about Fabian and Nina.

Whenever someone says you're insane, you say, "Very observant."You want to go to a British boarding school just to see if some weird mystery starts unfolding.

You will ace anything you have to learn about Egyptian mythology.

You know your numerology number and have compared it to your favorite character's multiple times.

You compare yourself to Nina and try to figure out who the Fabian, Amber, Patricia, Alfie, Jerome, Mick, and Mara are in your life.

You think of Mick and Nina whenever anyone mentions a scholarship.

You think of Fabian when you think about astronomy.

You know what song Fabian and Nina danced to and are plotting to get your high school to play it at your prom.

You are constantly trying to figure out how to get deadly bugs into an hour glass to threaten your enemies with.

You have looked up what a degenerative condition is and you now feel very sorry for Mr. Winkler.

You have had at least one dream where you were Nina and your boyfriend was Fabian.

Copy and re-post this if you have done at least 3 of these things!

1. YOUR GANGSTA NAME:(first 3 letters of real name plus izzle): Eriizzle?

2. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (color and animal): Lilac hippopotamus?

3. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, and current street name): Louise willow speed?

4. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of mom's maiden name): Eederott?

5. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, drink): Pink lemonade?

6. YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of your dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name): Reuaame?

7. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mothers middle name): Marie?

8. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one your pets): Black ruby?

9. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (fruit, and something that can go wrong): Kiwi apocalypse?

10. YOUR PIRATE NAME: (color, pirate accessory): Blue parrot?

11. YOUR HIPPIE NAME: (type your name with your elbow): Eriofcaq?

Um... I tried my best at this.

If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling

ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.'

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.

She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.'

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.'

His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.'

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.'

'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.'

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!'

Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''

'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

'My mommy loves white roses.'

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started.

I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message, or
2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart.

I actually started to get tears in my eyes when I read this, it's adorable but sad at the same time.

COPY THIS ON YOUR PROFILE
A guy and a girl were riding on a motorcycle...
Girl: slow down i'm scared.
Guy: no this is fun.
Girl: no it's not please it's way to scary!
Guy: then tell me you love me.
Girl: I love you now slow down.
Guy: now give me a big hug.
She gave him a big hug.
Guy: can you take off my helmet & put it on yourself? it's bothering me.

-In the newspaper the next day a motorcycle crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road the guy realized that the breaks were out and he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him she loved him one last time. Then he had her put

his helmet on so that she would live even if it meant that he would die. If you would do the same for a person you love then put this on your profile.

If you HATE child abusing like me copy and paste this to your profile.

My name is May

I am but three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all

I can't do a wrong

Or else I'm locked up

All the day long

When I awake I'm all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren't home.

Don't make a sound!

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie's Bar.

I hear him curse

My name he calls

I press myself

Against the wall.

I'll try and be nice,but when he does come

I try and hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now

I'm starting to cry.

He finds me weeping

He shouts ugly words,

He says its my fault

That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

and i run for the door

He's already locked it

And I start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!", I scream

But its now much too late

His face has been twisted

Into unimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

Oh please God, have mercy!

Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door,

While I lay there motionless!

Sprawled on the floor.

My name is May

And I am but three,

Tonight my daddy,

Murdered me

Child abuse, if you want to stop child abuse past this on to your profile, please make it stop

THE HOUSE OF ANUBIS PLEDGE:

I promise to always remember Nina when I solve my next mystery or face my next enemy.

I promise to always remember Patricia when my best friend is in danger.

I promise to always remember Amber when life seems to take a wrong turn.

I promise to always remember Mara when I'm doing school work.

I promise to always remember Fabian when I'm feeling shy or weak.

I promise to always remember Jerome when I'm being threatened.

I promise to always remember Alfie when my parents treat me in a way I don't like.

I promise to always remember Mick when I'm applying for a scholarship.

I promise to always remember Sibuna during my prom, because theirs was taken away from them.

I promise to always keep the secret of the Cup of Ankh's hiding place.

I promise to always make sure the world doesn't forget Sibuna.

I promise to always keep the light of Sibuna in my heart and soul.

I promise to always love and cherish House of Anubis with all my heart.

I promise that I will always be a loyal fan of House of Anubis.

Let no man or woman tear this vow asunder!

If you love two people at time, choose the second, because if you loved the first, you wouldn't have fallen for the second." - Johnny Depp

"God doesn't give you anything you can't handle, so don't stress." - Kelly Clarkson

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." - Mahatma Gandhi

"An eye for an eye and the whole world goes blind." - Mahatma Gandhi

"If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, then they're yours. If they don't, it was never meant to be." - Richard Bach

"Write the book you want to read." - Steinbeck

Pretty Little Liars:

"Is that why you killed her? ‘Cause she seen your home movies? …Do you want some popcorn with that?" - Spencer Hastings

"I am plenty messed up." - Spencer Hastings

"Dear Mommy, I went to the woods to trap a killer. Hanna" - Hanna Marin

"We’ve all made mistakes, remember, I’m still paying for yours". - Jenna

"Please, Jenna can't hear us! She's blind" - Hanna Marin

"Pretending not to love you was the hardest thing I've ever done." - Toby Cavanghar

“If I did, I would have given myself a fever this morning." - Aria Montgomery

“He's 9 years old, he's never seen the sun and he probably lives in a cupboard with, like, 600 dolls.” - Aria Montgomery

“Parties and body bags go together like drinking and driving.” - Aria Montgomery

“I got chased by a hobo for nothing?” - Aria Montgomery

“My dignity broke the fall.” - Aria Montgomery

“From ages two to seven my family used to call me Pookie Bear, but all good things must come to an end." - Aria Montgomery

“For months we’ve been about as welcome in this town as a cold sore.” - Aria Montgomery

“Were you pre-med in pre-school?!” - Aria Montgomery

“Did you follow me over here with handcuffs, or are you just gonna yank me out by my hair?” - Aria Montgomery

“Holden’s been, like, in the wilds of Portugal — I just figured his social skills could use a little shock treatment.” - Aria Montgomery

“What am I supposed to wear, a down parka?” - Aria Montgomery

“How fast do glaciers melt?” - Aria Montgomery

“He’s been going through girls at this school like they’re Kleenex.” - Aria Montgomery

“My dad is three states away; you can at least lean into it.”Aria Montgomery

House of Anubis:

"Didn't you use to be Mara?" - Jerome Clarke

"Speak of the devil. Literally. I'm surprised my phone didn't burst into flames." - Jerome Clarke

"Anyone who doesn't have a pendulum swinging in front of their face, shut up!" - Patricia Williamson

"Amber, that's the boy scouts!" - Fabian Rutter

"Think about what you're doing!" - Eddie Miller

"It's ten o'clock. You have five minutes precisely and then I want to hear a pin...drop." - Victor Rodenmaar

"Beware the black bird." - Sarah Frobisher-Smythe

"Okay haters, floor's yours." - Joy Mercer

"It's time to put some Joy back in my life." - Joy Mercer

"But this is my signed copy of 'The Solar System is Your Friend'!" - Fabian Rutter

"The house...it's talking to me again..." - Eddie Miller

"Guys, I'm concussed and even I can see through your oh-so-secret code." - Eddie Miller

"There's so much I wanted to say..." - Alfie Lewis

"Trudy...There's a stranger in the kitchen..." - Alfie Lewis

"Thou art... Thou art truly thy yummiest boy I've ever seen, Romeo." - Amber Millington

"This is weird, even for England." - Nina Martin

"I don't know what it is, but I know I want to know." - Nina Martin

"I'm not sure Amber's right for him. They've got absolutely nothing in common..." - Mara Jaffray

"Yeah, a voice... Or a moan... A deathbed moan... Of someone who really doesn't want to die..." - Nina Martin

"Sick Puppies? Awful? Eddie's the only one around her with any taste." - Patricia Williamson

"Well, I don't need you anymore." - Joy Mercer

"Thanks, Yacker. Fortunately, not everyone's as cynical as you." - Eddie Miller

"I'm not hiding, I'm hanging..." - Patricia Williamson

"I wasn't hiding, I was hanging..." - Eddie Miller

"What are we hiding from?" - Alfie Lewis

"Not in this outfit! Wait...did I just say that...?" - Patricia Williamson

"I'd feel safer on the deck of the Titanic." - Patricia Williamson

"Who's the American?" - Patricia Williamson

"Lounges are for lounging, not sleeping. Clues in the name." - Patricia Williamson

"Stick your feet in, will you?" - Patricia Williamson

"Cruelty, they name is Amber!" - Jerome Clarke

"You're insane!" - Jerome Clarke

"Very observant." - Rufus Zeno

"What would Victoria Beckham do?" - Amber Millington

"To squee or not to squee? SQUEEEE!" - Willow Jenks

"You are a breakfast angel!" - Alfie Lewis

"Do you really think I'm so thick that I can't do anything without your help?" - Mick Campbell

"You bring out the best in me, Jaffray." - Jerome Clarke

"I love you, but I'm not in love with you." - KT Rush

"Their motto is 'Win or die trying'... Or maybe it's 'Win or keep trying'..." - Willow Jenks

"You always have to be right! And rub other people's faces in it, don't you? And you know why? Because you're a bully and a control freak." - Fabian Rutter

"There's bad, there's really bad, there's completely soul-witheringly bad... And then there's you!" -Jerome Clarke

"I think I can make an exception for a superhero." - Patricia Williamson

"I don't need a lecture, 'kay Hermione?" - Eddie Miller

"Well, everyone loves pizza!" - Joy Mercer

"Dude, it was always going to be Mara!" - Eddie Miller

"Why is it always Egypt?" - Jerome Clarke

"So I'm your sidekick now?" - Mara Jaffray

"No, you're Valedictorian!" - Fabian Rutter

"This is supposed to be the best day of our lives!" - Joy Mercer

"There's no Sibuna without Nina!" - Fabian Rutter

"You're the girl from my dreams..." - Eddie Miller

"Oh great, just what we need! Another patronizing American whose only reference to the UK is Harry Potter!" - Patricia Williamson

"I'm just a tin can standing in front of a tank, asking her to dance with me." - Eddie Miller

"See, that didn't hurt." - Eddie Miller

"Yeah it did, you stepped on my toe like four times." - Patricia Williamson

"But sometimes - just sometimes - you know how to be a good guy." - Patricia Williamson

"No running on the stairs, Victor!" - Jerome Clarke

"Joy, how could you? I loved that dog!" - Mara Jaffray

"Jerome. Here. Now." - Joy Mercer

"I'll behave..." - Jerome Clarke

"3.14-" - Mara Jaffray

"159." - Mara Jaffray and Fabian Rutter

"Depends on whether you give me your popcorn or not." - Patricia Williamson

"Anubis backwards, duh!" - Amber Millington

What A Boyfriend Should Do:

When she walks away mad...

Follow her.

When she stares at your mouth...

Kiss her.

When she pushes you or hits you...

Grab her and don't let go.

When she's quiet...

Ask her what's wrong.

When she ignores you...

Give her you FULL attention.

When she pulls away...

Pull her back.

When you see her at her worse...

Tell her she is beautiful.

When you see her start to cry...

Just hold her and don't say a word.

When you see her walking...

Sneak up from behind and hug her waist from behind.

When she's scared...

Protect her.

When she lays her head on your shoulder...

Tilt her head up and kiss her.

When she steals your favorite hat...

Let her keep it and sleep with it for the night.

When she teases you...

Tease her back and make her laugh.

When she doesn't answer you for a long time...

Reasure her that everything is alright.

When she looks at you with doubt..

Back yourself up.

When she says that she likes you...

She really does...more than you understand.

When she grabs at your hand...

Hold hers and play with her fingers.

When she bumbs into you..

Bump her back and make her laugh.

When she tells you a secret...

Keep it safe and untold.

When she looks into your eyes...

Don't look away until she does.

When she misses you...

She's hurting inside.

When you break her heart...

The pain NEVER really goes away.

When she says 'it's over'...

She still wants you to be hers.

When she re-posts this bullentin...

She WANTS you to read it.

Stay on the phone with her...

Even if she's not saying anything.

When she's mad...

Hug her tight and don't let go.

When she says she okay...

Dont believe her and talk about it because 10 years from know...

she will remember you.

Call her at 12:00...

Just to tell her you love her.

Call her before you sleep and...

after you wake up.

Treat her like...

she's ALL that matters to you.

Tease her...

and let her tease you back.

Stay up with her All night when she's sick and watch her favorite TV show or Movie with her...

even if you think it is stupid.

Give her the world...

and let her wear your clothes.

When she's bored and alone...

Hang out with her.

Let her know how important she is to you...

and kiss her in the pouring rain.

37 Things to do in an Elevator

1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5. Meow occasionally.

6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.

7. Say "DING!" at each floor.

8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.

9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.

16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

21. Swat at flies that don't exist.

22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.

23. Make race car noises when someone gets on or off.

24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.

25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"

26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.

28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.

29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."

30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.

31. Ask people who floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your last answer.

32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.

33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"

34. Tell people that you can see their aura.

35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."

36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..."

Find the Guy

Find the guy that calls you beautiful instead of hot,

Who calls you back when you hang up on him,

Who'll lay under the stars for hours and listen to your heart beat

Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy that kisses your forehead

Who keeps your picture in his wallet,

Who wants to show you off to the world even when you're in sweatpants,

Who holds your hand in front of all his friends,

Who thinks your beautiful without makeup

One who is constantly telling you of how much he cares and how is lucky to have you

THE one who turns to his friends and says THATS HER

If you love this copy and paste this onto your profile!.

What to Do During an Exam

1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "André, André, I've got the secret documents!!"

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Darn this!" and walk out triumphantly.

14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go ice skating.)

15. Show up completely insane (completely insane means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.

21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.

23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.

24. Act spazzy

25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the heck are you? Where's the regular guy?"

26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!

27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.

30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.

32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."

33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..."

34. Fake an heart attack. When interrupted, apologize, and explain that question #_ moved you, deeply.

35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect.

36. Tailgate outside the classroom before the exam.

37. If your answers are on a scantron sheet, fill it out in pen.

38. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girly-girl nearby.

39. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.

40. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your pencil. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.

41. Make Strange noises... get people to stare... look at the person next to you as if he/she did it.

42. Dress like the professor.

43. Cross-Dress.

44. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam.

45. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murder chanted "Toma soca balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.

Your One And Only Wish.

Do it one by one, don't look ahead!

1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex.

2. Which is your favourite colour out of red, black, blue, green, yellow?

3. Your first initial?

4. Your month of birth?

5. Which colour do you like more, black or white?

6. Name a person of the same sex as yours.

7. Your favourite number?

8. Do you like California or Florida more?

9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more?

10. Write down a wish (a realistic one)

Are you done?

If so, scroll down

(don't cheat--)

THE ANSWERS

1. You are completely in love with this person.

2. If you choose:

Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.

Black: You are conservative and aggressive.

Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.

Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you

love.

Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are

down.

3. If your initial is:

A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.

L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is soon to

blossom.

S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.

4. If you were born in:

Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you

fall in love with someone totally unexpected.

Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relationship that won't last long but

the memories will last forever.

July-Sept.: You will have a great year and experience a major life

changing experience for the good.

Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your

soulmate.

5. If you choose..

Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time

but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.

White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do and will do

anything for you, but you may not realize it.

6. This person is your best friend.

7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime.

8. If you choose..

California: You like an adventure.

Florida: You are a laidback person.

9. If you choose..

Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your love. And you are very reserved.

Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

10. This wish will come true if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday!

Did you know...

1) Kissing is healthy.

2) Bananas are good for period pain.

3) It's good to cry.

4) Chicken soup actually makes you feel better.

5) 94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.

6) Lying is actually unhealthy.

7) You really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.

8) It's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.

9) 89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move.

10) It's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.

11) Chocolate will make you feel better.

12) Most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.

13) A good friend never judges.

14) A good foundation will hide all hickeys...not that you have any.

15) Boys aren't worth your tears.

16) We all love surprises.

17) Now...make a wish.

Wish REALLY hard!!

WISH WISH WISH WISH.

Your wish has just been received.

Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next fifteen minutes and...

Your wish will be granted.

Female comebacks:

pick up line comebacks, add to it

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you?
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together.
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together.

Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

If you repost this you will get a phone call 37 minutes after you repost
this...
If you don't resend this then your love life will be doomed for eternity.

HOW GUYS FLIRT:

1.He stares at you alot.

2. He hits you alot. (just play hitting )

3. He uses the first thing that pops into his head to start a converstaion with you

4. He yelled, "Hi!", to your mum that day she picked you up from school.

5. He blew off his buds to go see "Brown Sugar" with you cuz you couldn't get another girl pal to go and didn't want to go alone.

6. He tries to make you laugh anyway even if he gets hurt in the process

7. His voice gets softer when ever you two talk.

8. You hung up on him. He called you back.

9. You were invited by him to a group outing.

10. He called you to talk about nothing at all.

11. He imitates your laugh. OK, you do laugh PRETTY LOUD. Which makes you laugh even harder...

12. He remembers little things you mention in casual conversation

13. He sometimes stares straight into your eyes.

14. He uses every possible way to touch you (your hair, face, thighs, KNEES,ect.)

HOW GIRLS FLIRT:

1.She calls you by your full name not just a nick name.

2. She hits you softly on the arm and laughs when you say something funny.

3. She flips her hair when she's talking to you.

4. She touches your arm when she talks to you.

5. She says, "No, I'm not telling you who I like!" with a big smile on her face.

6. She asks you who you like or who you would go out with seemingly interested

7. When you go to the movies with a bunch of your friends and she is almost always next to you.

8. She criticizes you on a girl you like.

9. You catch her staring at you.

10. She plays with your hair or tries to put make up on you.

11. Her friends outside of school and in school know about you, and says she talks about you a lot.

12. She knows your phone number and address. ( stalker much? )

13. She will try and talk, and spend time with you as much as possible Now make a wish... Ok stop! Your wish will come true if you repost this if you don't repost this then you will never get asked out or you will lose the one u love?! repost this in 15 min and your wish will come true in 5 days. repost this in 10 min and your wish will come true in 3 days. repost this in 5 min and your wish will come true in 1 day.

Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
He told his friends that it was cool
And when he pulled the trigger back
It shot with a great crack
Mummy I was a good girl
I did what I was told
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold
But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye
I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry
When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another
And all because he got the gun from his older brother
Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much
And please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush
And tell my little sister that she is the only one now
And tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best
Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest
Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class
And never to forget this and please don't let this pass
Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this
Mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss
And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try
I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry
Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest
But mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest
Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack
Mummy listen to me if you would
I wanted to go to college
I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with daddy
On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married
I wanted to have a kid
I wanted to be an actress
Mummy I wanted to live
But mummy I must go now
The time is getting late
Mummy tell my Chris
I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date
I love you mummy I always have
I know you know it's true
Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you"

In memory of the Columbian students that were lost
Please if you would
Pass this around
I'd be happy if you could
Don't smash this on the ground
If you pass this on
Maybe people will cry
Just keep this in heart
For the people that didn't get to say "goodbye"

Now you have two choices
1) repost and show you care
2)ignore it and you have just proven you have a low-down, cold-heart
(Please just copy and paste this on to your site and show that you care)

There's that strange girl in the background that you see everywhere. She doesn't talk to a lot of people, she's not the prettiest girl there, and she's always got a book or notebook. She won't talk because she's too shy. She's shy because nearly everyone's she's tried to be friends with has rejected or hurt her. She prefers a book because good always wins and she writes because those are the only happy endings she ever sees. I'm one of those strange girls. Repost this if you are one too and add your name to the list. That way all those "strange girls" can see that they are not so strange, or alone. Originally by Lady Firewing, Wolf skater, Death For One, Kindle Fire HD.

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree. The
boys don’t want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

I just read a copy and paste that said "Fanfiction is to me what facebook is to others" Copy and paste this to your profile

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile

Her name was Auroura
She was only five
This is what happened
When she was alive

Her dad was a drunk
Her mom was an addict
Her parents kept her
Locked in an attic

Her only friend
was a little toy bear
It was old and worn out
And had patches of hair

She always talked to it
When no one's around
She lays there and hugs it
Not a peep of sound

Until her parents
unlock the door
Some more and more pain
She'll have to endure

A bruise on her leg
A scar on her face
Why would she be
In such a horrible place?

But she grabs her bear
And softly cries
She loves her parents
But they want her to die

She sits in the corner
Quiet but thinking,
"Please God, why is
My life always sinking? "

Such a bad life
For a sad little kid
She'd get beaten and beaten
For anything she did

Then one night
Her mom came home high
And the poor child was beaten
As hours went by

Then her mom suddenly
Grabbed for a blade
It was sharp and pointy
One that she made

She thrusted the blade
Right in her chest,
"You deserve to die
You worthless piece of s!"

The mom walked out
Leaving the girl slowly dying
She grabbed her bear
And again started crying

Police showed up
At the small little house
Then quickly barged in
Everything quiet as a mouse

One officer slowly
Opened a door
To find the little girl
Lying dead on the floor

It must have been bad
To go through so much harm
But at least she died
With her best friend in her arms

(add this to your profile if your against child abuse)

65 percent of Teenagers spend more time watching TV rather then read. If you are part of the 35 percent who read more than watch TV then copy and paste this to your profile.

The Girl Code:

1) If you change boyfriends so fast they rarely achieve name status, a man must be around for at least six weeks before you make your friends bother to learn his first name. Until such time, he should be referred to as "The boy" or "That guy".

2) All girls must have a "Mr.Right Now". This is the guy friend who is always ready and available to hang out with you, and may or may not like you as more than a friend. He is always ready to party till dawn, and do things you wish you didn't remember in the morning. He's not “Mr. Right,” but he may be good enough to be “Mr. Right Now.”

3) If you just met a guy and know absolutley nothing about him, but need to refer to him during 'girl talk' you use one example of who he is, something he has, or what he does, and he becomes... that guy.
(Ex. "The Camaro guy", "The Trainer dude", "The Four a.m. in the Taxi Guy")

4) Every girl must wait at least a day and a half before calling a guy whose number she has retreived.

5) You are never in any case to date a friends ex or a guy who she was really into.
Exception: If he's one of those guys who every girl likes.

6) You are to never diss a friends boyfriend except to agree lightly or nod when she says he's being a asshole. In most cases it is easier to nod.
Exception: If a guy cheated or dumped your friend is is exceptional for you to claim he isn't good enough, and that she deserves better as well as reminding her that he was an asshole anyway.

7) If you wan't to date a friend brother it is required that you get said friends permission.

8) No girl is to ever hang out with the boyfriend of a friend without the friend present. If permission to is granted their should be at least 3 other people with you.

9) No girl may have more than one 'Love of her Life' at one time, though having a boyfriend and a 'Love of her Life' is fine.

10) No girl shall wear the same outfit or perfume as a friend is they will knowingly be in the same place.

11) No girl shall purchase a distinctive item of clothing which she is aware her friend owns without express permission from the friend.

12) No girl shall borrow an item of clothing without asking the clothing owner's permission, unless both parties have made an official decision to waive this rule in the context of their friendship.

13) An eye for an eye and a foot for a foot. If a friend borrows an item of clothing and destroys it, said friend must re-pay it.

14) The penalty for exposing a secret to an unauthorized party shall be exile from Girlville.

15) A girl who can substantially claim that she was not aware that a piece of information was a secret at the time she exposed it shall not be subject to punishment.

16) Inside jokes are not to be explained to outsiders.

17) Always leave a man wanting more but don't leave him guessing too long since guys do not take hints easily.

18) If a guy your friend is into asks for your number, you are to deny it and walk away, and/or slip him your friends number while saying, "I think she is more your type, you should call her".

19) Chicks before *. Simple.

20) In a case where a friend spreads a horrible rumor about a friend, and than apologizes they are to be given the cold-shoulder for at least 3 days.

21) In a fight between a friend and her boyfriend you must always choose your friends side.

22) When dating a girl should find equal and/or enough time to still hang out with her girls.

23) Never insult your friend but never let your friend leave the house looking hideous. Find a better way to tell your friend how they look.
Ex: 'I think your other jeans are nice', 'You should wear less eyeliner, you have great eyes'.

24) When a friend is drunk, never allow her to dial, drive or leave with a random guy.

25) When a friend calls you up complaining about how she is drunk and can't go home you must allow her to stay at your house, without letting your parentals (if you live with them) find out.

26) When out with the ladies, if Girl #1 points out a guy that she is interested in, Girl #2 should avoid making a bee-line over to him to get his number for herself. Show some respect.

27) When said evening is described as a "Girls’ Night Out" that means it is for GIRLS ONLY. Consider it payback for all those tree houses and snow forts we couldn’t enter as children. Do not invite your boyfriend.

28) Stop being the "Me too!" girl If your friend is telling a story, stop stealing her thunder – and her story – by constantly trying to one-up her.

Things I am not to do at Hogwarts

1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball

2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office

3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter

4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show you the pointy hat trick

5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar

6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination

7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms"

8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.

9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month"

10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand

11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals

12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force"

14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot

15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it

16) I will not lock the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive

17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast

18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day"

19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways

20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor

21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort

22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy

23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling

26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate

27) I will not steal Gryffindor sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways

28) I will not poke Hufflepuff's with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bee's"

29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge

32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm

33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers

34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion

35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends"

36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends"

37) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak

45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween

46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously

47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions

48) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet

49) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice

50) I will not attack my fellow classmates

51) I will not make an impossible riddle for people to give an answer to enter the Ravenclaw area

Favorite Sayings:

1. You can always make things better by singing a song.

2. Turn the World into your dance floor!

3. Be Heard! Be Strong! Be Proud!

4. No rain, No rainbow.

5. A friend is the person who know everything about you... and yet still likes you.

6. Always laugh when you can. It's cheaper than medicine…

7. Adults are just kids with money.

8. If love isn’t a game, then why are there so many players?

9. Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyways!

10. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.

Fave Love Quotes/Sayings

11. Love can sometimes be magic. Magic can sometimes... Just be an illusion

12. You don't love a woman because she's beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her.

13. The definition of a beautiful is one who loves me.

14. A lawful kiss is better than a stolen one.

15. Life without Love is like a Tree without fruit.

16. The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.

17. Love means never having to say you’re sorry.

18. There's always room for love; you just have to move some things around.

19. Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship – never.

20. Love builds bridges where there are none.

Favorite Funny Quotes/Sayings:

21. A friend helps you up when you fall; a best friend laughs at you, trips you again, and continues to laugh.

22. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's only yours that's stupid.

23. There are no stupid questions; just stupid people.

24. When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

25. I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.

26. Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

27. When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

28. Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

29.What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'

30. Note - The key to a good relationship is the key. Give me back the key.

Why do Boys Fall in Love with Girls

(This was written by a guy)
Don't break this; it's so sweet! :)
1. They will always smell good even if it's just shampoo.
2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder.
3. How cute they look when they sleep.
4. The ease in which they fit into our arms .
5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world.
6. How cute they are when they eat.
7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end it makes it all worth while.
8. Because they are always warm even when its minus 30 outside.
9. The way they look good no matter what they wear.
10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she's the most beautiful girl on this earth.
11. How cute they are when they argue.
12. The way her hand always finds yours.
13. The way they smile.
14. The way you feel when you see their name on the caller ID after you just had a big fight.
15. The way she says "lets not fight anymore" even though you know that an hour later...
16. The way that they kiss after you have had a fight.
17. The way they kiss you when you say "I love you".
18. Actually...Just the way they kiss you...
19. The way they fall into your arms when they cry.
20. Then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly.
21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt.
22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt (even though we don't admit it).
23. The way they say "I miss you".
24. The way you miss them.
25. The way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn't hurt her anymore...
26. The way that she looks almost always happy around you
Yet regardless if you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them it matters not. Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world they become everything to you. When you look them in the eyes, traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without trace of a sound, you know that your own life is inevitabley consumed within the rhythmic beatings of her very heart. We love them for a million reasons, no paper would do it justice. It is a thing not of the mind but of the heart.
A feeling.
Only felt.
This chain started in 2002.
It is a love chain letter.
In an hour you are supposed to repost this.
Now here comes the fun part.
You then say the name of the person you like or love and then the person will say "I love you," or "Will you go out with me?" NO JOKE!!
NOW THE CONSEQUENCES!!
The consequences are:
If you break the chain letter, you will have bad luck in future
relationships.
If you don't break the chain, then you will be a happy camper!!
Congratulations!!
You have been chosen to participate in the LONGEST and the LUCKIEST chain
letter on the internet.
Once you read this letter, you must IMMEDIATELY (meaning within the hour)
post it with the title "why do boys fall in love with girls?"
After you send it, make a wish and it will come TRUE!

If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will :
Call you.
Kiss you.
Love you.
Text you.

I WANT A GUY...

who would move the hair away from my eyes and then kiss me,

hold my hand in line at the mall and make all the girls jealous.

Someone who would sing to me at random moments.

Who would let me sleep on his chest.

A BOY who would get mad at someone if they called me UGLY or were mean to me.

I want someone who would call me 3 times a day if he went away.

Someone who would let me gossip to him

and just smile and agree with everything I said.

He would throw stuffed animals at me when I acted dumb and then KISS ME A MILLION TIMES.

Someone who would make fun of me just to make me laugh.

He would take me to the park and put his hands around my waist and give me big bearhugs all the time.

He would tell all his friends about me and SMILE when he did.

And we'd make out in the pouring rain.

He would never be afraid to say "I love you" in front of his friends, and we'd argue about silly things and then make up.

I want a boy who would kiss me at midnight on New Years and COUNT STARS with me.

Who would stay home with me on a Friday night just to help me make dinner and watch movies together under the same blanket.

Someone who would tell me I'm beauiful but not too often, who would make me laugh like NO ONE else could.

But mostly, I want someone who would be my best friend and would never BREAK MY HEART

44 Things A Girl Would Die For

1- Touch her waist

2- Talk to her

3- Share secrets with her

4- Give her your jacket

5- Kiss her slowly and touch her face.

Are you remembering this?

6- Hug her

7- Hold her

8- Laugh with her

9- Invite her somewhere

10- Let her be with you when you're with your friends

Keep reading...

11- Smile with her

12- Take pics with her

13- Pull her onto your lap

14- When she says she loves you more, deny it. fight back

15- When her friends say I love her more than you, deny it.

Are you thinking about someone?

16- Always hug her and say "I love you" when you see her

17- Kiss her unexpectedly

18- Hug her from behind around the waist

19- NEVER ignore her.

20- Tell her the way you feel about her!

Oh, and on that last one... u need to show her you mean it too

21- Kiss her on the lips

22-Tell her she means everything to you

23- Tell her what feels good

24- Make her feel loved

25- Kiss her in front of other girls you know

26- Don't lie to her

27- Don't cheat on her

28- Take her anywhere she wants to go

29- Instant message or call her in the morning and tell her have a good day at school, and how much you miss her

30-Be there for her when ever she needs you, and even when she doesn't need you, just be there so she'll know that she can always count on you

Are you still reading this? You better be, its important

31. Hold her close when she's cold so she can hold you too.

32. When you are alone hold her close and kiss her.

33. Kiss her on the cheek (it will give her the hint that you want to kiss her).

34. While in the movie, put your arm around her and then she will automatically put her head on your shoulder, then lean in and tilt her chin up and kiss her lightly.

35. Don't ever tell her to leave even jokingly or act like you're mad. If shes upset, comfort her

Remember this next time you are with her

36. When people diss her, stand up for her. take her side no matter what.

37. Look deep into her eyes and tell her you love her. (if you mean it)

38. Lay down under the stars and put her head on your chest so she can listen to the steady beat of your heart, Link your fingers together while you whisper to her as she rests her eyes and listens to you.

39. When walking next to each other grab her hand.

40. When you hug her hold her in your arms as long as possible

MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS SHES LOVED

41. Call her at night to wish her sweet dreams.

42. Comfort her when she cries and wipe away her tears.

43. Take her for long walks at night. (she'll feel safe, if you put your arms around her.)

44. Always Remind her how much you love her.

When a girl is quiet, a million things are running through her mind.

When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with her eyes full of question, she is wondering how long you will be around.

When a girl answers "I'm fine." after a few seconds, she is not fine at all.

When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying.

When a girl rests her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be her's forever.

When a girl wants to see you everyday, she wants to be pampered.

When a girl says "I love you." she means it.

When a girl says "I miss you." nobody could miss you more than that.

If a kiss was a raindrop, I'd send you showers.

If a hug was a second, I'd send you hours.

If smiles were water, I'd send you the sea.

If love was a person, I'd send you me.

10 REASONS TO LOVE JACOB BLACK

10. He didn't leave.

9. He fights for the girl he loves.

8. He has a pulse.

7. He has a sense of humor.

6. He isn't a bloodsucker.

5. He isn't icy cold.

4. He is a good friend.

3. He doesn't give up easily.

2. He runs around half-naked all the time.

1. He looks freakin' hot without a shirt on. :D

I want to:

Be as AWESOME as Cammie Morgan,

Marry Zachary Goode,

Have a Dad as adventurous as Matthew Morgan,

Have a friend as loyal as Rebecca Baxter (Bex),

Have a mentor as wise as Abigail Cameron (Aunt Abby),

Have friends as kind as Elizabeth Sutton and Macey McHenry (Liz and Macey),

Have a leader as brave as Joseph Solomon (Joe, Mr Solomon),

Have a friend as short as Anna Fetterman,

Know someone as crazy as Dr Steve Sanders (Dr.Steve),

And be the enemy of someone powerful like Catherine Goode.

I was 14 when I started my periods and to make things more awkward I was round my best friends house, his parents were home in the study being doctors and doing some random stuff, I was sat with my boy best friend on his white sofa, in my white jean shorts and we were eating strawberries, I got up to go to the toilet and realised I had bled through my shorts and onto the couch, I was crying SOOOOO much so he grabbed the strawberries mashed them up and put them all over him, all over me and all over the sofa, when his parents came in he told them we had a food fight and he took the consequences.

Re-post if you think he should marry her!

FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up! (:D. . . lg1514. . . .)

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through secondary school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!"

FRIENDS: Freak out and help you call 911 when your house is on fire

BEST FRIENDS: Will be roasting marshmallows over the house fire, while flirting with the HOT fireman

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you'reGREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...

Post this on your profile if you hate racism

A 15 year old girl holds hands with her 1 year old son. People call her a "slut", no one knows she was raped at age 14. People call another guy "fat", no one knows he has a serious disease causing him to be overweight. People call an old man "ugly", no one knows he experienced a serious injury to his face while fighting for our country in the war. Re-post this if you are against bullying and stereotyping. I bet 88% of you won't... but you should. Bullying is sad and stupid!

No Means No

Guy: "Can we have sex right now?
Girl: "Can we do what?"
Guy: "You know, can I be your first, finally?"
Girl: "Um...no."
Guy: "Why?"
Girl: "Because, 1. you have a girlfriend, who happens to be my friend..."
Guy: "So, if you don't tell, I won't tell."
Girl: "Besides that, I'm waiting for someone special. Someone that I want to be with for the rest of my life to be my first."
Guy: "I'm not special to you?"
Girl: "You're my friend. That's all."
Guy: looks forward and keeps driving. 5 minutes pass...
Guy: starts to run his hand up the girl's thigh.
Girl: moves his hand, "Don't touch me.".
Guy: tries to kiss her.
Girl: screams, "Would you stop."
Guy: continues trying.
Girl: moves to the back seat
Guy: parks on an abandoned street and gets in the backseat with the girl. Starts to kiss her.
Girl: pushes him off and scoots over, "Please, don't do this."
Guy: "Don't do what, I know you want it, I can see it in your eyes." Moves over to her and starts to unbutton her pants.
Girl: pushes him harder and says, "No, don't."
Guy: getting aggravated, punches her and tells her to stop "playing hard to get".
Girl: crying, continues to fight.
Guy: punches her harder, pulls her pants off, and holds her down.
Girl: screams as he penetrates her, "NO, please don't do this to me!"
Guy: puts his hand over her mouth. An hour passes...
Guy: pulls back and wipes himself off.
Girl: sits on the corner of the seat, crying.
Guy: looks at her and says, "You better not tell anybody about this. If you're really my friend, you won't tell anybody about this. You know I love you." He reaches out his hand to touch her cheek.
Girl: pulls back, "Just take me home, now."
Guy: says, "Alright." Gets in the front seat and drives her home.

2 months later...

Girl: "Doctor, what's wrong with me. I haven't had my time of the month in 2 months."
Doctor: looks at her, "You haven't been having your "time" for a reason."
Girl: looks at him and says, "Why?" dreading the answer that she was sure to receive.
Doctor: "You are pregnant."
Girl: faints.

The story gets out that she is pregnant, and people start looking to the Guy. He claims that it isn't his because she was sleeping with every guy in the school(which was a lie). He goes to her and tells her, "I'm telling you, if you lie to people and say that I raped you, I'll kill you."
The Girl is completely devastated. First, he took her virginity and got her pregnant...then he lied about it. So completely depressed...the girl waits till her baby is born, and then commits suicide. Her baby boy was put up for adoption and was taken into an abusive family. He was ridiculed for being the son of a whore and a bastard. When he grew up and had a family, he still had the scars of his childhood. He was always to afraid too hug his children. The only thing he knew about his parents was that his mother was a whore (not true) and his father was a bastard (very true). He didn't even know who his real father was.

Girls, if this story touched you, put this on your profile under "No means no"
Guys, if this story pisses you off, put this on your profile under "I'll kill any fucker who does this to my girl or any girl"

I didn't write it but when I saw it on somebody elses profile it touched my heart, so I had to repost. I hope you can repost as well.

"I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." - Marilyn Monroe

Re-post this if

-you hear your name even if it's not being called

-you hate hearing your voice in recordings.

-you use the word "thingy" when you can't remember what something is called.

-you and your best friend can say one word, and crack up.

-you hate when one string of you're hoodie is longer than the other.

-you hate it when people think you like someone/something when you clearly don't.

-you hate it when your favourite song comes on - just as you pull into the driveway.

-you push those little buttons on the lids of fast-food drinks.

-you hate it when you tell a guy to shut up and they copy you in a higher voice

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you have your own little world inside your head that no one else in the world is aloud to come into, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile.

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your profile if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?" or "We're not quite sure..."

If you actually take the time to read other peoples profiles, copy this to yours.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or pulled the handle on a door that said push, copy this into your profile.

I'm bored... If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...

If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile. (I will never understand the defenition of popularity, I'm just the weird 15 year old girl that laughs too much XD)

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile. (Actually, I'm more of the insane one)

if you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. The irony...

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading and/or writing copy and paste this into your profile.

93% of American/Canadian teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If your part of the 7 that would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Deidara's Manialoll 4 Ever, Edward's One True Love, ANBU Inu, oceaneyes85253, MaybelleDragon-chan, TheEmoSideOfMe, ChristinaAngel, EdwardlovesChristyalways, Shoelacey, KlutzyBurnette, CrazyHorseNinja, xxIxAMxTHExPIExx, Mamoru4ever, SilentWhiteRose, Velgamidragon, One Crystal Rose, Huskylover94, Darkfang323, Emotive Gothika, CarmelColoredDreams, 00GIRL'SNIGHTOUT00, TheSoulAlchemist, Leenaluvsanime4eva, Mrs Old Gregg, Agent Striker, TheOriginalAussieNinja, The Aussie Rose, CameronR.Goode, Shimmery Diamond, CammieZachZammie, Rachel4reading.wordpress.com, CaptainBrieOnToast, Summertime15, Kindle fire hd (this aplies to me but i ,just 2 say i am english)

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.

(Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

(the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap,"

(and that would be how???...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."

(but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."

(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."

(...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."

(but wouldn't this save me more time)?

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."

(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."

(and...I'm taking this because???...)

On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."

(as opposed to...what)?

On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."

(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious)

On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."

(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."

(Step 3: maybe, ooh...fly Delta?)

On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."

(Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC. " Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear,in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY." There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16 My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me. "

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you".

BEST THINGS ABOUT BEING A GIRL

We can wear guy clothes, but if they wear ours they get funny looks

At least one girl always survives in horror movies

We can put cotton between our toes and paint our nails without feeling the least bit silly

Our magazines have horoscopes

Girls with guy first names like Taylor sound cool, but it doesn't work the other way around

Our friends don't say "hi" but punching us in the arm

Yes PMS sucks, but at least we have an excuse to lay around eating chocolate once a month

Make-up covers any imperfections we may have

If we flirt with a cop, we can get out of a speeding ticket

Girl Talk... you know, the way we all just understand each other without having to explain a thing

Children Are Quick

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .

MARIA: Here it is.

TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?

CLASS: Maria.

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

JOHN: You told me to do it without using the tables.

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'

GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'

TEACHER: No, that's wrong

GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

(I Love this child)

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

DONALD: H I J K L M N O.

TEACHER: What are you talking about?

DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.

WINNIE: Me!

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?

GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '

MILLIE: I is..

TEACHER: No, Millie... Always say, 'I am.'

MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?

LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand...

TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?

SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.. Did you copy his?

CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

HAROLD: A teacher

:.:7 Ways to Scare your roommates:.:

1) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon..."

2) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.

3) Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.

4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan

5) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where the heck is my sandwich?" Complain loudly that you are hungry.

6) Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"

7) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer."

Mental Hospital Answering Machine

“Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline. If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until a representative comes on the line.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.
If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y & c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y press 0 0 0.
If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy to talk to you.”

Month one

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a girl!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP ME!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus' arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this.

F YOUR LIFE WERE A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?

So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool.

Opening Credits

5 seconds of summer - Don't stop

Waking Up

Sam Smith - Stay with me

First Day At School

Of monster's and men - little talks

Making Your New Best Friend

Mandy Moore -Only hope

Falling In Love

Camp rock 2 - Introducing me

Breaking Up

Leona Lewis - Better in time

Prom

G.R.L - Ugly heart

Graduation

Selena Gomez - Come and get it

Life's Okay

Jessie J -Miss her

Death Of A Close Friend

Ellie Goulding - Anything can happen

Mental Breakdown

Christina Aguilera - Candyman

Driving

Jessie J - Bang Bang

Flashback

Ed Sheeran - Thinking out loud

Getting Back Together

Alphabeat - Fascination

Birth Of A Child

Marcus Collins - Seven nation army

Wedding Scene

Demi lovato - La la land

Car Accident

Demi lovato - heart attack

Final Battle

Gabz - lighters (the one)

Death Scene

Evanescence - bring me to life

Funeral Song

Coldplay - paradise

End Credits

Spice girls - say you'll be there

Deleted Scenes

Michael Jackson - beat it