Who is the REAL James Parker Lombard? The world may never know. But like the ubiquitous tootsie roll pop...half the fun is licking.

I have phases of lovesickness that only fanfics seem to cure. I wish I could forget most of what I've read and start all over not knowing where my favorite characters are heading. Not knowing how long it will take the tensions to break in them.

My loves: Supernatural, Fake, Sherlock, Ouran.

My hates: typos, bad grammar, PEOPLE WHO DON'T KNOW HOW TO FORMAT DIALOG!!!!!, random mistranslated japanese nouns thrown into stories for no apparent reason (stop having characters call other characters "koi!"), completely OOC reactions, fanfic poetry (do not!), most songfics (I don't get it), most crossovers (too much slash is too much slash), and (please, for the love of all that is good) deathfics (quit killing off the characters I love). PEOPLE WHO DON'T UNDERSTAND BASIC MALE ANATOMY!!!

My P.S.: Sam is a bottom (at least most of the time), people. Dean is not what I want, but what I want to be. I guess that makes me a "Dean Boy?"

My P.P.S.: The that/who confusion. People are by nature WHOs not THATs. THAT can refer ONLY to a situation or object, never to a person or group of people. All the Whos down in Whoville, did not live in THATville. It's an easy thing to remember and a super pet peeve extraordinaire of mine. Give people their peopledom by double checking that you've made them WHOs and haven't accidentally objectified them with a THAT.

NEWS AND UPDATES AND PEOPLE TO KNOW:

The lovely Luna Lunatica (https://www.fanfiction.net/u/4312338/) has begun translation of "Polaris" into Spanish! You can find the Spanish version here: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10245371/1/

Here's a link to my evil twin, Amanderpanderer's LJ post entitled: "All I Really Need to Know about Life I Learned from Dean Winchester." That pretty much sums it up.

LISTEN UP SLASHY FANS of the supernatural and angsty relationships: Another of my good friends, Gladstone, just had a book published through Brother Wolf Press. His book Drift. Is amazing. Lots of characters to fall in love with.

I just got this G thing, circle me if you want, just don't expect me to post a lot. jamesparkerlombard@gmail.com

Who: Me, I'm James Parker Lombard. I'm gonna use my whole, really real name, because it is an awesome name. Do not call me JP, but do leave the Parker on. I do. I was named after a priest...no kidding. What a good Catholic boy I am.

What: Geology. I like rocks. Writing. I like poetry. Teaching. That's what I do. Latin. A dead language is a good language. Medical Oddities and Unusual Facts. The world is an interesting place.

Where: New England. Newer than the Old England. Sub Divo.

Why: Because there aren't enough fanboys.

Neat facts: I have an evil twin. I'm double jointed. I have the periodic table of the elements memorized. I have a pair of leather pants that fit perfectly. I am heartless and cruel to the people I love, and I ignore those I don't love: that makes me misanthropic. Real people are often more disappointing than the ones we create. I am time travelling at regular speed...try to keep up, would'ya?

"FLECTERE SI NEQUEO SUPEROS, ACHAERONTA MOVEBO"