The following story has characters acting very OOC - if you don't like that then don't read ahead! What if Mr. Darcy had already been 'at home' when Elizabeth and Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner pay an unexpected visit to Pemberley. A rather naughty version of what could have happened if Lizzie Bennet had spied Mr. Darcy in his bedchamber after just getting out of the bath.

Bella convinces Edward they should 'practice' their self control before they get married. What effect will this have on them and the other members of their family? Funny, Fluffy, and, eventually, a little lemony. Sequel to The Talk, but stands alone.

Due to a change in his life circumstances, Jack Sparrow finds himself in need of a wife. He decides that he would like a quiet biddable society wife that he can wed, bed and then forget about. But fate decides Jack needs to make repayment for past sins.

Commodore James Norrington is pressed into service escorting a singularly undesirable young woman and learns not to make snap judgments.

Commodore Norrington enters a marriage of convenience only to find himself highly inconvenienced.

I'll ravish you and have my filthy way with you, and after that... you'll probably ask me to do it again.-- Jack; Real summary inside. NOW COMPLETE!