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 Author has written 5 stories for Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Harry Potter, Lab Rats, 2012, Dangerous Days of Daniel X, and Brotherband Chronicles. See that girl you just called fat? She is starving herself. You know that girl you just called ugly? She spends hours putting on make-up hoping people will like her. That boy you just tripped?He is abused enough at home. See that old man you made fun of cause of the ugly scars? He fought for our country. See that young boy you just made fun of for always being sick? He has to walk home in the snow cause his family is too poor. That guy you just made fun of for crying? His mother is dying. I promise to remember Percy whenever I'm at sea, I promise to remember Annabeth whenever a spider comes at me. I promise to protect nature for Grover's sake of course, I promise to remember Luke when my heart fills with remorse. I promise to remember Chiron whenever I see a sign that says ''free pony ride,'' I promise to remember Tyson whenever a friend says they'll stick by my side. I promise to remember Thalia whenever a friend is scared of heights, I promise to remember Clarisse whenever I see someone that gives me a fright. I promise to remember Bianca whenever I see a sister scold her younger brother, I promise to remember Nico whenever I see someone who doesn't get along with others. I promise to remember Zoe whenever I watch the stars, I promise to remember Rachel whenever a limo passes my car. Yes, I promise to remember PJO wherever I may go. In loving memory of... ...Luke Castellan, who died to save Olympus and will always be remembered as a hero ...Zoe Nightshade, who went on a quest to save her goddess knowing very well that she would die ...Bianca di Angelo, who sacrificed herself to save her friends ...Daedalus, who died to prevent Luke's army from using the Labyrinth ...Silena Beauregard, who died of the greatest heroes ...Charles Beckendorf, who let himself die for the sake of a mission's success ...Ethan Nakumura, who redeemed himself in the end only to be killed by Kronos ...Everyone else who died in the Titan War or saving someone else because they knew it was right Friend stuff: Friends will phone you in jail. But best friends will be sitting next to you saying "that was awesome!" Good friends will share their umbrella. Best friends will take yours and say "RUN,RUN!!" Good friends will wipe your tears when you're rejected. Best friends will go up to him and say "It's because you're gay, isn't it?" A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will prank call him at 3:00 in the morning and make chicken noises into the phone. A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend trips you again. A good friend helps you brush the grass out of your hair. A best friend throws more and laughs when it sticks. A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you. A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies. You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You love, I love. You jump off a bridge, I go get a boat and save your retarded ass. Diamonds are precious and so are pearls, but nothing is better then me and my girls. Enemies stab you in front, friends stab you in the back, boys stab you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws n case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods: On a Myer hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping". (Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair). On a bag of Chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!) On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap". (And that would be how?) On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost". (But, it's just a suggestion). On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down". (Well...umm, a bit late, huh)! On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating". (You don't think?) On packaging for a K-Mart iron: "Do not iron clothes on body". (But wouldn't this save me more time? I mean, where else would you use this?) On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication". (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those forklifts.) On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness". (I am only hoping) On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only". (As opposed to using in outer space) On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use". (And that would be...?) On Nobby's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts". (Really, and there's no peas?) On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts". (I think there missing a step there, Like step 1: Ask for peanut packet?) On a package of sunflower seeds: "Does not contain peanuts" (Because obviously in a sunflower seed package there will be peanuts.) On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal child dream.) On a cartilage for a laser printer: Do not eat toner. (Awww, I bought it ESPECIALLY to eat it!) On a carpenter's electric drill: This product isn't intended for use as a dental drill. (I'll take that as a no to my dream of a teenage dentist?) l If you like singing copy and paste this onto your profile. If you like writing copy and paste this onto your profile. If you like reading, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this on your profile. If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile! If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have your own little world, copy this to your profile If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear baiting, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile! If you've ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of it's effects post this in your profile. If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. If YOU get a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this to your profile. you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, post this in your profile Studies show that if Abercrombie released the fact that it wasn't cool to breathe, 92 percent of teenagers would die. If you're part of the other 8 percent who would be screaming with laughter, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile. If you think that those stupid kids should just give that God-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile. Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're one of the five percent that don't give a s, copy this, and put it in your profile. 96 out of 100 teenage girls would have a heart attack if they saw Edward Cullen on the edge of a tall building about to jump. Copy and paste this onto your profile if you're one of the 4 who would yell, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and kick him off yourself. If fanfiction is to you what MySpace is to other people, copy this onto your profile Copy and repost this if you think it's incredibly stupid that girls are associated with the color pink I'm the type of person who walks into a door and apologizes. My best friend is the type of person who will spend hours trying to drown a fish, but she's great anyway. If you hate racism, repost this If you listen to the lyrics in a song, repost this If you think that being unique is more important than being cool, copy and repost this If you are against child abuse, copy and repost this If you're one of those people who get excited when you get just one review, copy and paste this onto your profile If you've ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this onto your profile If you or your best friend is insane, copy and paste this onto your profile If you never watch Laguna Beach, The OC or the Hills, never have and never will and are proud of it, copy and paste this onto your profile If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this onto your profile If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this onto your profile If you have ever run into a tree, copy and paste this onto your profile If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy and paste this onto your profile If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy and paste this onto your profile Pluto was no longer declared a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was "too small" and "off its' orbit" for a couple of scientists' likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet, copy and paste this onto your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO! If you have ever tripped down the stairs, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa, copy and paste this onto your profile If you're a chocoholic, copy and paste this onto your profile If you're against drug usage, copy and paste this onto your profile 98 of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 who hasn't, copy and paste this onto your profile If you read other people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste, copy and paste this onto your profile If you are bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste this onto your profile If you've ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this onto your profile If you hate homework, join the club and copy and paste this onto your profile 100 of the teenage female population would want to be turned into a vampire. 98 would do so in order to marry their sparkly Edward Cullen. Put this on your profile if you'd be one of the 2 who would become a vampire in order to kick his sparkly butt. (I'm clean people!) If you would kill to have a tail, copy and paste this onto your profile Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this onto your profile There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself, and LOSE that it's weird. If you agree, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have too many of these 'copy and paste this onto your profile' thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this onto your profile PJO FANS: say OH MY GODS! (No censorship meant; it's just a obsession fan thing) NORMAL PEOPLE: say OMG! NORMAL PEOPLE: go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings PJO FANS:won't go to one because they will take away their awesome demigod powers NORMAL PEOPLE: rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast PJO FANS:will tell Zeus to make it rain NORMAL PEOPLE: say shut up or i'll tell on you! PJO FANS: say shut up or my godly parent will vaporize you! NORMAL PEOPLE: think that PJO fans are stupid PJO FANS: know that normal people are stupid NORMAL PEOPLE: when being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY! PJO FANS: when being chased use their awesome demigod powers NORMAL PEOPLE: get nervous/scared during thunderstorms PJO FANS: yell at Zeus to calm down NORMAL PEOPLE: would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation PJO FANS: would try and find Camp Half Blood NORMAL PEOPLE:don't have this on their profile PJO FANS: MUST have this on their profile! A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle Girl: Slow down, I'm scared! Guy: No, this is fun. Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared. Guy: Then tell me you love me. Girl: I love you, now slow down! Guy: Now give me a big hug. She gives him a big hug Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me. In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love 93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly, Alleyanna Cullen, hugs.4.all.the.emo.boyz, WritingRocks6, Bubble Blower, panache2005, .Dr1v3n t0 1n5aN1Ty., Serenity.Jones, crystalshake, KOIZUMI MICHIYO, Eeveeninja77, Linzerj, Witchsoul531, adopteddaughterofhestia, 5 percent of girls would scream and cry if the guy who plays Edward in Twilight jumped off the Empire State Building without a bungee cord or anything. 4 percent would grab popcorn and yell "COOL!" If you are part of the 1 percent who would be pushing him off For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself (i find that i am a very tough opponent). So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile. Pirates are cool. The color blue reminds me of chocolate and Edward Cullen. if two gooses are geese, would two mooses be meese? and if two foots are feet, wouldn't it be two feetball? walrus! AHAHAHAHA!! LUKE I AM YOUR FATHA!! i hate lacrosse. don't ask why. i want some toast. DO THE BARTMAN! SHOOBUS MY WOOBUS and SHOOP DA WOOP, baby! SUPER KITTY, AWAY!! Is that a Plane? No its just some random kitty,why does the victims phone wring at the worst time during a horror movie.If you are random, copy and paste this, then add something random of your own. Take Time To Read Each Sentence This is this cat This is is cat This is how cat This is to cat This is keep cat This is a cat This is retard cat This is busy cat This is for cat This is forty cat This is seconds cat Now read the THIRD word of every line. Then you'll get the joke. 18 Things to do when you're in Walmart! 1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, 8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. 9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are. 10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" 12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, 13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. 14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here! 15. Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!", or "I choose YOU, PIKACHU!!" 16. Have a friend push you down the aisle in a shopping cart as you yell "THE REDNECKS ARE COMING! THE REDNECKS ARE COMING!" 17. Shout at the top of your lungs "WALDEMORT IS TAKING OVER!" and count how many people turn to look at you. 18. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking This is a story about God. Read if you believe in him, and read even if you don't. A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away. As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely. The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it? "This brochure will self-destruct in 5 seconds, and, if you are reading this, that means that you have already used 4 seconds of the 5 seconds you originally had." Things I Never Knew! they not mine but i thought they where funny so i posted them. On a Myer hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping". On a bag of Chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap". On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost". On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down". On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating". On packaging for a K-Mart iron: "Do not iron clothes on body". On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication". On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness". On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only". On a Japanese food processor:"Not to be used for the other use". On Nobby's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts". On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts". On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly \O/ -() () this if you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all: I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool! I am not normal, I am not the only one of my kind, I am special and I have reasons for my secrets. The only thing I keep close to me is a pen, a pad of paper, my secrets and my knife. Because you'll never know what will try to kill you when you're part of a nation, when you are a Fan Fictioner. - Lynx of the Sand Post this if you are a Fan Fictioner and you're proud of it I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Percy Jackson or Maximum Ride, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone Iheartjake, TeamJacob101, Boysareadrag, The Dawn Is Breaking, twilite addict, The Lonely Teenager, AliceDaSpaz, Skittle.Rocke, Silent_Broken_Heart, St. Fang of Boredom,rainbowstrike, iKate, fangalicous08, FangsTrashcanOfDoom, LukexThaliaxFan23, charn14, allyouneedislove1797, DemigodWitch96, PrincessOfDestiny14, witchsoul531christioncountrygirl. REASONS TO JOIN THE DARK SIDE (If you wish to join add this list to your profile): 1. We have cookies (last I checked there was hot chocolate too) 2. Meet the recruitment bunny! 3. You get a cool dark cape that covers your whole body! 4. You get a really cool crazy laugh! Practice with me, people: MWA HAHAHAHA cough cough! 5. You get to walk out of shadows mysteriously and freak out the good guys! 6. One word: UNDERLINGS! Someone to get things for you when you're too lazy to do them yourself... Now that's the life! 7. Money, Money, Money : Ever notice that we are usually much richer than the good guys? 8. WORLD DOMINATION! Most PWNZORS reason! And after Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says W T F. S.c.h.o.o.l: Seven Crappy Hours Of Our Lives. If someone insults you say 'How sweet thanks for noticing' and walk away If someone says you'll die old and alone say 'No I won't I'll have my cats' If you're not as pretty as the most popular girl in school her beauty is only skin deep yours is on the inside that's where it counts If you'd rather read then party GREAT If you like to jump in rain puddles and don't care about your clothes your not alone If you're a geek scream it from the roof tops If you're a nerd be proud of your brain and if you're a jerk... well you get the point Yes, I hit like a girl. You could too if you hit a bit harder. You Say Pink I Say Black Curiosity killed the cat but selflessness killed the dog If I could get a firm grip on reality, I'd choke it I love dead-lines. Especially the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by Add some sprinkle to your boring, icky, bland, vanilla life If you can't fix it with duck tape, it's not broken. She paints a pretty picture but there's a twist; the pen is her razor and the canvas is her wrist A positive attitude may not solve all of your problems but it will annoy enough people to make it worth your while I write for the same reason that I breath. . . because if I didn't then I would die. When things get bad, smile, because life is ironic and it's only going to get worse I had a thought but it got lonely and went away. Money talks and mine says "Good-bye." Went into the grinder and came out as hair Touch it and see if it's hot (you just had to be there for that one) It's okay to talk to yourself, it's okay to ask yourself questions, it's even okay to answer those questions. Just don't ever ask yourself a question and then go "huh?" Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense. Don't spend money you don't have cause at some point they're going to want it and you're still not going to have it. A friend will bail you out of jail at two o'clock in the morning but a true friend will be sitting in the cell beside you saying "Damn that was fun!" A friend will help you move but a true friend will help you move a body Due to the worsening of the economy the light at the end of the tunnel has been temporarily turned off. I do not suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it. My train of thought got derailed. If someone gave you half a brain, you'd still only have half a brain. All things in the world are mind over matter; if you don't mind then it doesn't matter. Close only counts in horseshoes and handgrenades. Most people have a filter between their brain and their mouth that tells them when they shouldn't say something. Me, not so much Shut up brain or I'll stab you with a Q-tip again. I tried to keep an open mind but my brains kept falling out The more things change, the more things remain. . . insane. You have hate mail. . . you have more hate mail. . . your hate mailbox is full. (occasionally Disney comes up with some real winners.) Knowledge is power. . . power corrupts. . . study hard. . . BE EVIL! Your talking is getting in the way of my telling you to shut up. I'm in hillbilly hell! My IQ is dropping by the second! I'm becoming one of them! Why is the rum gone?! 'Stress' A condition brought on by over riding the body's desire to kick someone's ass. Always glad to inadvertantly inspire genius. Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that. Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity... not so sure about the universe. The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not 1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you. When life gives you lemons, make grapefruit juice, and let life wonder how the heck you did that! The person who can smile when something goes wrong has probably thought of someone to blame it on. A good friend will help you up when you fall. A best friend will laugh and push you again. If two wrongs don't make a right, try three. Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up. Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes. Whoever said "Nothing's impossible" never tried slamming a revolving door. A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work. When life gives you lemons, squirt the lemons in Life's face I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out. When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets. Some say the glass is half full, some say the glass is half empty. I say “Are you gonna drink that?” The light you see at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of a fast approaching train. When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them. Boys are like Slinky’s, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs. You know it's a bad day when you fall out of bed and you miss the floor War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left. Growing older is mandatory. Growing up is Optional I've heard that its possible to grow up. I've just never met anyone who's actually done it. Kids are the future. Be afraid. Be very afraid. Sometimes you make me so mad I wanna throw you in the middle of ongoing traffic, but then I realize I would probably kill myself trying to save you. Keep on talking maybe one day you'll say something intelligent One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask directions. It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn. If all else fails, try reading the instructions. When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. If you can't convince them, confuse them. Ask me no questions, I will tell you no lies… Perfect men are only fictional. Remember: Some people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. The trouble with life is there's no background music. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on. The number of people staring at you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your actions. i believe that for every person in the universe there is a part of the universe that hates them new Toshiba laptop: $500, data recovery: $200, webcam: $100, letting your laptop know just how much you think of it by trowing it out a window: priceless I'm not a tomboy, I'm just better than you. I am who I am and I be who I be, you can kiss my ass if you don't like what you see. I rather be hated for who I am, then loved for something I'm not. Party hard, rock and roll. We're the class you can't control I'm not clumsy, I just think faster than I move. I'm not random, I just think quicker than you. Jealous? What happens if you get scared half to death twice? Does the noise in my head bother you? When it rains at my party, we dance in the rain. I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either. I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem. The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide. - Sarcasm isn't an attitude, it's an ART. Being weird is like being normal, only better!! I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me!! Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright. Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over. One day, will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people. I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather...not screaming like the passengers in his car.' I am not crazy! U know what! The voices don't like u anymore!' Death is life’s way of saying you’ve been fired. I hate it when the voices and my imaginary friends fight. The trouble with life is there's no background music Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it. Stupid kills, unfortunately not fast enough. They say the truth will set you free. But then why is it that every time I tell the truth I get sent to my room? ' The only thing standing between me and total happiness is reality.' My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil. An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed. Being mature is overrated. I'm the kind of kid who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday. I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive. God made man, knew he could do better, and made woman. At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote. I was about to conquer the world but then I got distracted by something shiny They laugh because we're losers...We laugh because they just figured it out. "Sir, we're surrounded!" When you really love someone, age, distance, height, and weight are just damn numbers. Love is giving someone the ability to destroy you, but trusting them not to. Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew. Forget the risk; take the fall. If it's what you want, it's worth it all. Every time I try to talk to you, I feel like a prisoner who hasn't talked in years, and I just can't get the words out of my mouth. "Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest." Mark Twain "Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear." Mark Twain "Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see." Mark Twain "A poem begins in delight and ends in wisdom." Robert Frost "Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired." Robert Frost "Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square hole. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do." The Percy Jackson Pledge: I promise to remember Percy Whenever I'm at sea I promise to remember Annabeth Whenever a spider comes at me I promise to protect nature For Grover's sake of course I promise to remember Luke When my heart fills with remorse I promise to remember Chiron Whenever I see a sign that says ''Free Pony Ride'' I promise to remember Tyson Whenever a friend says they'll stick by my side I promise to remember Thalia Whenever a friend is scared of heights I promise to remember Clarisse Whenever I see someone that gives me a fright I promise to remember Bianca Whenever I see a sister scold her younger brother I promise to remember Nico Whenever I see someone who doesn't get along with others I promise to remember Zoe Whenever I watch the stars I promise to remember Rachel Whenever a limo passes my car. I promise to remember The Stolls when my home is beginning to unsettle. I promise to remember Bekendorf whenever I see someone working metal. I promise to remember Silena whenever a friend takes one for the team I promise to remember Michael Yew whenever I see a smile that gleams. I promise to remember Briares whenever I see someone playing hand games. I promise to remember those lost in the Battle of the Labyrinth whenever I see a cloth in flames. I promise to remember those campers who fought against Kronos whenever I see someone go against the odds. Yes I promise to remember PJO Wherever I may go promise to remember Ares HUNTERS OF ARTEMIS PLEDGE: I pledge myself to the goddess Artemis. Lost your pen= No pen PJO quiz: Find your godly parent ZEUS You like being in charge. 3/10 POSEIDON You feel at home in the water. 1/10 HADES You’re not that much of a people person. 9/10 (ya! Hades is awesome!) DEMETER You own a garden. 3/10 ARES You often start fights. 3/10 ATHENA You have an insatiable thirst for knowledge. 4/10 APOLLO You’re very creative and artistic. 3/10 HUNTER OF ARTEMIS You dislike boys in general. 6/10 HEPHAESTUS You have a way with tools. 1/10 APHRODITE Every guy/girl swoons for you. 0/10 HERMES You like pickpocketing your friends.( I would if I could :)) 7/10 DIONYSUS You’re the life of the party. 0/10 I'm pretty sure I'm a daughter of Hades, or maybe Hermes. Copy/Paste if you think bacon is the most brilliant of the meats I Perseus Jackson. Savior of Olympus. Main character of the epicest book ever. Jason Grace. Thalia's "lost" "little" brother (he's technically older than her . . . maybe). Atlas. Zoë's father. Thalia Grace. The Lieutenant of Artemis and daughter of Zeus. Officers. The immortal skeletons dressed up as officers. Grover:"The dam snack bar?" "Put your cap back on," I said. "Get out!" me back to reality. Jason scratched his head. "You named him Festus? You know that in Latin, ‘festus’ means ‘happy’? You want us to ride off to save the world on Happy the Dragon?" With great power comes great the great need to take a nap - Nico Di Angelo We got Potter! We got Potter! - Fred & George Weasley There's a 13 year old girl, and she wished that her dad would come home from the army, because he'd been having problems with his heart and right leg. It was 2:53 p.m . When she made her wish. At 3:07 p.m. (14 minutes later), the doorbell rang, and there her Dad was, luggage and all!! I'm Katie and I'm 20 and I've been having trouble in my job and on the verge of quitting. I made a simple wish that my boss would get a new job. That was at 1:35 and at 2:55 there was an announcement that he was promoted and was leaving for another city. Believe me...this really works! My name is Ann and I am 45 years of age. I had always been single and had been hoping to get into a nice, loving relationship for many years. While kind of daydreaming (and right after receiving this email) I wished that a quality person would finally come into my life. That was at 9:10 AM on a Tuesday. At 9:55 AM a FedEx delivery man came into my office.He was cute, polite and could not stop smiling at me. He started coming back almost everyday (even without packages) and asked me out a week later. We married 6 months later and now have been happily married for 2 years. What a great email it was!! Just scroll down to the end, but while you do, think of a wish. Make your wish when you have completed scrolling. Whatever age you are, is the number of minutes it will take for your wish to come true. ex.you are 25 years old, it will take 25 minutes for your wish to come true). Go for it! SCROLL DOWN! STOP! Congratulations! Your wish will now come true in your age minutes. Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who had been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: When knowing when to come in out of the rain; Why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair, and Maybe it was my fault. Common Sense live by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more then you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six year old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do by disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion, or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live when a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot . she spilled a little on her lap and was rewarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him pass this on. if not join the majority and do nothing. I am a book freak, yes. So what? While I hole myself up in a good story, you're off reading things from Facebook. While I lose myself in unknown worlds, you'reoff playing Minecraft or World or Warcraft. While I learn things you can't imagine, you're off failing school ad your teachers and your family. I know more about some characters then i do myself-- characters you will never know. I can survive my whole life in a world-- a world you will never see. I know the secrets of people, places, and creatures-- all of which you will never meet. I could ruin your life,if I had the heart to and if you and I were in one of the worlds i know-- andyou would never tell the difference. I create worlds, people, creatures, but most of all lives whit my words that you call another boring subject-- something you will never experience the joy and pride of. I have ridden on dragons, outwitted darkness, eluded death a thousand times... I have saved lives, used magic, unraveled deadly secrets that could start wars... I have swum with the serpents, flown with the pegasi, howled with the wolves... I have stood upon the moon, fought in great battles, discovered new universes... I have relived long-gone lives, shaped new destinies, guided the paths of others... I have stepped into other worlds, become other creatures, experienced unimaginable things... I have lived through wars, living nightmares, the worst or tragedies... I have felt the joy, the pride, the elation of just--knowing. Knowing the fact that you will never learn what I have. And never have I moved a single inch,as long as I have read. Yet you claim that all of this is boring-- Boring, stupid, sad, uncool, and more. You say that this is something no one can like. And yet, here I stand, holding a book. FanFiction is a site for girls who are desperately in love with nonexistent guys FanFiction is a site for people who've compared their classmates to characters from books. FanFiction is a site for those of us who can't express themselves in life. FanFiction is a site for people who talk to themselves... a lot, even if it is in their head FanFiction is a site for people who laugh at jokes no one else gets. FanFiction is a site for people who get funny looks for reading in class. A lot. FanFiction is the site for people who admirer the guy who tries to be different. FanFiction is a site for people who say long words that nobody else understands. FanFiction is a site for people who aren't afraid to sit alone at lunch and read. FanFiction is a site for girls who don't need a guy to complete them. FanFiction is a site for people who ditched reality and went for something different. FanFiction is a site for people who hang onto dreams. FanFiction is a site for people who are different but don't care because they know that's who they are. I am a young girl who really refuses to believe that this is it. I refuse to believe that the world is doomed to war, like it looks like. I'm a girl who wishes every year on her birthday cake that there will be world peace, and who is always let down. I will give up things that will make me happy to make others happy. I am the one who thinks at night, that when i get older, if the world is still like this or worse, i wont want to bring a innocent life into a world of hate. I will do anything to make a better tomorrow, even if it killed me. I write so I don't have to think of the real world. I try to escape to my room whenever I can so I can cry myself to sleep. I am the one who would rather be in heaven the this sinking Earth. I am the one who lays down at night, wishing that I was dead. Letters the mailman forgot to deliver Dear Yahoo, I've never, ever heard anyone say, "I don't know, lets Yahoo! it." ...Just saying... Sincerely, Google Dear 6, Please stop spreading rumors about me eating 9. You shouldn't be talking. I hear you guys do some pretty nasty things. Sincerely,7 Dear Noah, We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving 'till 5. Sincerely, the unicorns Dear Twilight fans, Thank you for making us look sane and well adjusted. Sincerely, demigods Dear America, You produced Miley Cyrus. Justin Bieber is your punishment. Sincerely, Canada Dear impossible, Screw you. I just made a campfire under water. Sincerely, Spongebob Dear dreams, Please stop ending when i get to the good part. Sincerely, Sleeping People Dear parents, I am aware that money doesn't grow on trees. that's why I'm asking you. Sincerely, Child Dear Math, I'm not a therapist; go solve your own problems. Sincerely, Students Dear China, where do you dig your holes to? Sincerely, A Curios American Dear Lost Keys, Touche Sincerely, Lost Phone On Silent Dear kids, Just give the silly rabbit some Trix already! Sincerely, The Committee Of Compassionate People Worried About The Rabbit's Help Dear Cursed Black Hole At The Bottom Of My Backpack, Please stop eating my pens and pencils and homework. I kind of need those. Sincerely, Unprepared Student Dear slowest walkers in the world, Please do not form and impassible wall in front of me. Sincerely, Stuck Behind You And In A Hury Dear Dad, I think you took the "I got your nose" game a little too seriously. Sincerely, Voldemort I'm the first to admit this race had fallen. There was a time when a solemn handshake was an unbreakable vow of trust. Now even marriage is treated as though it is not sacred. Never kill yourself, no matter what. I'm no stranger to pain and suffering, that's for sure, and I have thought about doing it. But you shouldn't do it. You should save your soul. No matter what happens in life it is still sacred. it might not feel like it but it is. Fight. Even when your back's to the wall and your out of steam, you wouldn't let somebody stab you with a knife. So why would you let yourself do the same? it might feel good on the surface but it really isn't. it is not going to help you in anyway. "Oh, I may be on the side of the angels, but don't think for one second that I am one of them." "Life is passing me by, and it is really trying to run me over." "When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I wen to school they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down "happy". They told me I didn't understand the assignment. I told them they didn't understand life."-John Lennon "The only thing that is keeping me from being happy is reality." "Forget the risk; take the fall. If its what you want, its worth it all." "Those who laugh the most cry even more." "The loneliest people are the kindest. The saddest people smile the brightest. The most damaged people are the wisest. All because the do not wish to see others suffer the way they do." "People build walls not to keep others out, but to see who cares enough to break them down." "The most beautiful people we have known have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These people have an appreciation, a sensitivity, an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen." Elisabeth Kubler-Ross "Inner beauty, too, needs occasionally to be told it is beautiful."- Robert Brault "A heart is a fragile thing. That's why we protect them so vigorously, give them away so rarely, And why it means so much when we do. Some hearts are more fragile then others. Purer, somehow. Like crystal in a world of glass, even the way they shatter is beautiful." "If you die you are completely happy and somewhere your soul lives on. I'm not afraid of dying. Total peace after death, becoming someone else is the only hope I've got."- Kurt Cobain "Be the change that you wish to see in the world."- Mahatma Gandhi "Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that."-Martin Luther King Jr. "I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you can appreciate them when they go right, you believe lies so that eventually you learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so that good things can fall together."- Marilyn Monroe "It is better to be hated for what you are then to be loved for what you are not."- Andre Gide "It's all too much."- George Harrison "With our love we could save the world."-George Harrison "But in the end one needs more courage to live then to kill himself."- Albert Camus "Death is easy. To live is the most painful thing I could imagine and I'm weak and no longer willing to fight."- Hannah Wright "With every mistake, we must surely be learning."-George Harrison "You can only tell if something or someone is truly beautiful by looked at them when they are broken." "Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad."-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow "There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds."- Laurell K. Hamilton "I didn't want to wake up. I was having a much better time asleep. And that's really sad. It was almost like a reverse nightmare, like when you wake up from a nightmare your so relieved. I woke up into a nightmare."- Ned Vizzini "That's the thing about depression: A human being can survive almost anything, as long as she sees the end in sight. But depression is so insidious, and it compounds daily, that it's impossible to ever see the end."- Elizabeth Wurtzel "I don't want to see anyone. I lie in the bedroom with the curtains drawn and nothingness washing over me like a sluggish wave. Whatever is happening to me is my own fault. I have done something wrong, something so huge I can't even see it, something that's drowning me. I am inadequate and stupid, without worth. I might as well be dead."- Margaret Atwood "Listen to the people who love you. Believe they are worth living for even when you don't believe it. Seek out the memories that depression takes away and project them in the future. Be brave; be strong; take your pills. Exercise because it's good for you even if every step weighs a thousand pounds. Eat when food itself disgusts you. Reason with yourself when you have lost you reason."- Andrew Solomon "But in the end one needs more courage to live than to kill himself."- Albert Camus "There was a moment in my life when I really wanted to kill myself. And there was one moment when I was close to that...but even in my most jaded times, I had some hope."- Gerard Way "I am living in a nightmare, from which from time to time I wake in sleep."- Ursula K. Le Guin "It is not seen as insane when a fighter, under an attack that will inevitably lead to his death, chooses to take his life first. In fact, this act has been encouraged for centuries, and even now is seen as an honorable reason to do the deed. How is it any different when your under attack by your own mind?"- Emilie Autumn Lady Gaga taught me it's okay to be different Ke$ha taught me to be myself and not care what anyone else thinks Bruno Mars taught me to do anything for that one person i love Eminem taught me that life is hard but you can make it through Travis taught me how to be generous Taylor Swift taught me that ever guy/girl isn't going to treat me right. Micheal Jackson taught me to always love the people around me. Music taught me how to live 1) I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss. 2) Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda. 3) I will not give Hagrid Pokémon cards and convince him they're real animals. 4) I will not sing the Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin Quidditch matches. 5) When Death Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout "To the Batmobile, Robin!" 6) Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is simply coincidental. 7) I will not refer to the Weasley Twins as "bookends." 8) I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book. 9) I will not hold my wand in the air before I casting spells shouting "I got the power!" 10) I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue and call them smurfs. 11) I will not slip Malfoy a Love Potion in his morning goblet of Pumpkin Juice. 12) Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera. 13) I will not call Dumbledore "Santa Claus!" during the Christmas Holidays. 14) I will not put Muggle fairy book in the History section at the library. 15) I will not send Snape a bottle of shampoo for Christmas. 16) I am not allowed to tell Hufflepuffs there is no Santa Clause. 17) I am not allowed to refer to myself as the New Dark Lord. 18) I am not allowed to sneak into Professor Snape's private chambers to watch him sing I Will Survive in the mirror, as it is disturbing. 19) I am not allowed to steal Professor Flitwicks wand, hold it over my head, and laugh as he tries to reach it. 20) I will not replace Madam Pomfrey's Skele-Gro with pumpkin juice. 21) I will not replace Professor Snape's pumpkin juice with Skele-Gro. 22) I will not impersonate the Swedish Chef in Potions class. 23) The next time that I see Rita Skeeter, I am not to threaten her with a can of Raid. 24) I will not subvert the lock on the fourth-floor girls' bathroom and sell its location to first-years as "The Chamber of Secrets". 25) When applying for a post at the Ministry of Magic after graduation, I should not cite "Fred and George Weasley" as my greatest influence at Hogwarts. 26) Putting down "Lord Voldemort" is probably not best either. 27) A Muggle "vacuum cleaner" is not acceptable Quidditch equipment, even if it has been enchanted to fly. 28) Hogsmeade village is not "a wretched hive of scum and villainy." 29) I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I prophesied her death. 30) I will also not tell Professor Trelawney that I had a vision of her killing the Dark Lord. 31.) Sending rings to the nine senior faculty at Yuletide, with the return address "Voldemort", is not funny. 32) Insisting that the school acquire computers and network the buildings is a pointless request as they claim that a quill and parchment is sufficient. 33) Calling in the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists. 34) I may not have a private army. 35) I must not substitute chocolate-flavoured laxative for Professor Lupin's prescription-strength chocolate. 36) Nor am I to in any way substitute, alter, hide, or otherwise tamper with Professor Dumbledore's candy. 37) I am not the wicked witch of the west. 38) -I will not refer to Professor Umbridge as such either. 39) I will not melt if water is poured over me. 40) -Neither will Professor Umbridge. 41) I shouldn't use Photoshop to create incriminating photos of my house prefects or tutors. 42) I will not enchant the Golden Snitch to fly up the nearest fan's nose. 43) I do not know the Avada Kedavra curse, and pretending I do to people who annoy me is not funny, no matter how much they injure themselves diving for cover. 44) I will not test my Potions assignments by spiking Snape's drink with them. 45) - Especially not all of them at once. 46) I will not try to hock off my old piercings as "priceless Muggle artifacts." 47) I will not claim my X-Files tapes are "Auror Training Videos." 48) Professor Snape definitely does not have pointed ears, and under no circumstances is he to be addressed as 'Spock'. 49) I am not able to see the Grim Reaper, nor am I to claim that he is standing by the Headmaster, tapping an hourglass and looking at him impatiently. Or, for that matter, Harry Potter. 50) When being interrogated by a member of staff, I am not to wave my hand and announce 'These are not the droids you are looking for'. 51) Thestrals do not resemble the Muggle toys known as 'My Little Pony'. 52) The four Houses are not the Morons, the Borons, the Smarts and the Junior Death Eaters. 53) Despite my personal beliefs, Quidditch would not be improved by the introduction of Muggle firearms. 54) Though they are doubtless more athletic, battle-axes are not acceptable either. 55) I will not claim there is a prequel to Hogwarts, A History that explains about Bilbo Baggins. 56) I will not use the Marauder's Map for stalking purposes. 57) I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing. 58) I am not allowed to ask Professor Dumbledore if the size of his beard is 'compensating for something'. 59) I will not create a betting pool that Voldemort is Harry Potter's father. 60) Headmaster Dumbledore is of no relation to Willy Wonka. 61) Professor Snape's proper given name is not Princess Silvermoon Fairywing Glimmer McSparkles. 62) Harry Potter and Ron Weasley are not the magical equivalent of "Batman and Robin". 63) I will not play the Imperial March theme for Professor Snape. 64) However, when Lucius Malfoy visits, I may play it. 65) If I insist on carrying out my plans of producing "Riddle-de-dee: The Voldemort Musical", I will do so under a nom-de-plume. 66) I will not attempt to recruit the title character to play himself. Even if he looks good in tap shoes. 67) I should not refer to Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle collectively as "Team Rocket" either. 68) I am not allowed to discuss my theory that Voldemort is actually the second cousin of Sauron. 69) I am not a 'ninja sent here by Lord Voldemort to destroy Harry Potter' and should stop shouting this at meal times. 70) It’s not tasteful to approach Cho wearing a shirt that says "All The Good-Looking Ones Die Young" with a picture of Cedric Diggory on it. 71) I will not yell "Hey look! It’s Lord Voldemort!" at Hogsmeade. 72) I will not tease Voldemort about the time he needed his pink flowery teddy bear to comfort him when he had that bad, bad nightmare about Harry. 73) I will not charm a poster of Britney Spears on Draco's wall. 74) I am not allowed to begin each Herbology class by singing the theme song to “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.” 75) I will not call Professor McGonagall “McGoogle”. 76) I will not sing the entire Multiplication Rocks series during Arithmancy exams. 77) There is no such thing as the Chamber of Double Secret Probation. 78) My name is not “the Dark Lord Happy-Pants,” and I am not allowed to sign my papers as such. 79) Bringing fortune cookies to Divination class does not count for extra credit. 80) I will not douse Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak with lemon juice to see if he will become visible while wearing it and standing by the fire in the common room. 81) I will not tell first years they should build a tree house in the Whomping Willow. 82) I will not teach the house elves to impersonate Jar Jar Binks. 83) I will not give Gryffindors pixie sticks. 84) I am not allowed to refer to Susan Bones, Hannah Abbot, and Justin Finch-Fletchley as Blossom, Buttercup, and Bubbles. 85) A time turner is not a flux capacitator. I should therefore not try to install it in a Muggle car. 86) I shall not refer to DADA professors as canaries in a coal mine. 87) When fighting Death Eaters in the annual June good vs. evil fight, I will not lift my wand skyward and shout “There can only be ONE”. 88) A wand is for magic only, it is not for picking noses, playing snooker, or playing drums. No matter how bored I become. 89) It is generally accepted that cats and dragons cannot interbreed, and I should not attempt to disprove this theory no matter how wicked the results would be. 90) 42 is not the answer to every question on the O.W.L.S. 91) I am allowed to have a cat, rat, toad, or an owl. I am not allowed to have reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or piranha. 92) No matter how good an Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class. 93) I will not refer to the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor as Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak. 94) Dumbledore is not Gandalf, and the Triforce is not hidden in Hogwarts. 95) Do not confuse Aragorn, Eragon and Aragog. Ever. 96) I may not introduce Nagini to Indiana Jones. 97) Challenging Ron to a slug-eating contest is just mean. 98) Under no circumstances am I allowed to refer to Voldemort as "Baldy". 99) Even if he is. 100) I am not allowed to tell the first years to have a staring contest with the Basilisk. 101) I am prohibited from sprinkling glitter on Draco Malfoy, dying his hair, and call him Edward. 102) I am not allowed to sell Mrs. O'Leary to Hagrid. 103) I will not give Professor Lupin a collar as a Christmas or birthday present. 104) Saying "I think I 'taw a puddytat!" every time I see Professor McGonagall is most certainly NOT allowed. 105) Offering Voldemort a colonial-era powdered wig (complete with ponytail) will not amuse him and I am not allowed to do so, even if he needs a new hairdo. 106) I am not allowed to paint the school neon pink as the only person it will amuse is Professor Umbridge. 107) I must not introduce Voldemort to a psychiatrist as it is likely to result in him having a temper tantrum. 108) I am not allowed to introduce the Cullens to Professor Lupin. 109) I am not allowed to tease Professor Lupin about his 'time of the month'. 110) I shall not play match-maker for Voldemort on Valentine's Day because it will only make him cry when no one will go out with him because of his lack of hair. 111) I am not allowed to be a match-maker for Shelob and Aragog either. 112) I will not arrange a battle to the death between nine Hungarian Horntails and the Nazgul. 113) I will not scream, "HIS NAME IS EDWARD!" any time I hear the words Cedric Diggory. 114) I will not ask the centaurs if they know where Chiron is because I have found a demigod 115) I will not shout at dinner times that Darth Sideous is Voldemort's uncle, even if they do look alike. 116) I shall not try to persuade everyone that Percy Weasley's true name is Percy Jackson and he slays monsters with a pen for a living. 117) I will not sing 'I'm a Survivor' after the Battle of Hogwarts. 118) No matter how fun it looks, I will not stand on a table and do the Macarena at the Yule Ball. 119) Professor Lupin is not the magical equivlant of Wolverine and I am not allowed to address him as such. 120) Even if I'm bored, I am not allowed to ask Snape what the mysterious ticking noise is. 121) I will not dye Harry's hair pink or give him brown contacts, just because I am sick of black-haired, green-eyed heroes. 122) Whether they owe me money or not, I am not allowed to sneak into Fred and George's dorm at the dead of night to die their hair blond, spike it unreasonably high, then call them John and Edward in the morning. 123) I will not send Voldemort white robes for Christmas and claim he changed his name to, "Voldy the White." 124) And when he wears them, I am not allowed to run around Hogsmeade screaming, "AHHH! It's an albino Dementor!" 125) It is not tasteful to send Professor McGonagall a scratching post for Christmas. 126) Bringing a Magic 8 ball to Divination class will only get Professor Trelawney annoyed at your "lack of Inner Eye." 127) To which I am not allowed to reply. 128) I will not refer to the Accio charm as 'The Force'. 129) Nor am I allowed to have lightsaber fights with my wand and make whoosing noises. 130) "Because they both need to wash their hair" is not proof Professor Snape and Aragorn are related. 131) There is also no proof that Gimli and Flitwick are related and I am stop asking Flitwick if he's been swimming with any hairy women lately. 132) Singing 'Hungry Like The Wolf' in Professor Lupin's class is not a way to get extra credit. 133) I am not allowed to write on the wall in the Gryffindor Common Room, "I know where you live" or "I stole all your underwear!" 134) I am not allowed to replace the Bludgers with peas, tomatoes, plums or anything that is not a Bludger. 135) Portable swamps are not funny. 136) And I will not set off the above in Snape's sleeping quarters. 137) Or in the Slytherin's bathrooms. 138) In fact, I am not allowed to even buy portable swamps. 139) Harry Potter is not a Son of Poseidon and saying this every time I see him will only result in him filing a restraining order against me. 140) My patronus is not a Nazgul. 141) Neither is my animagus form. 142) "To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice. 143) It still is not appropiate, even if I have subsituted the flying monkeys with gummy bears. 144) I will not levitate everywhere in a big pink bubble. 145) My professors have neither the time, nor the inclination to hear about what I did with six boxes of Sugar Quills. 146) No part of the school uniform is edible. 147) Nor am I allowed to make any part of the school uniform edible. 148) I will not try to take house points from the first years for "being too goddamned short". 149) Especially as I am in no position of authority and Dumbledore would have to be heavily drugged before he would ever make me a prefect. 150) I am not allowed to wear singing holiday-themed ties and claim that they are officially part of my uniform. Especially not during June. 151) Luna Lovegood does not have pointed ears, nor is she to be addressed as 'Galadriel'. 152) Lucius Malfoy also does not have pointed ears, nor is he to be addressed as 'Haldir'. 153) I am not the reincarnation of Merlin. 154) I am not allowed to Accio the clothing of any person while they are wearing it. 155) I am to attend astronomy class and should stop yelling that aliens will abduct me if I do. 156) Hogwarts does not require a karaoke machine. 157) No matter how much I would enjoy watching Harry sing "Saturday Night." 158) "Defying my will" is not a crime worthy of life in Azkaban, and I should not tell that to the first-years. 159) I will not speak to Professor Snape with a Transylvanian accent. 160) Nor am I to ask if he is Carlisle Cullen's evil, unfortunate-looking twin. 161) I will not start a rumor saying that Professor Snape sings "I'm too sexy for my robes" while showering. Or for that matter doing any other activity. 162) Enchanting the Sorting Hat to sort new students into the House of Martok, or any other Klingon house is forbidden. 163) Voldemort does not wish to appear as the 'before' for a line of cosmetics. And no, he does not care how much money I make from it. 164) The Slytherin prefect is named Draco Malfoy, not "Rocky Horror". 165) Transfiguring Draco Malfoy's uniform into a gold thong is also inappropriate. 166) I will not attempt to determine whether Malfoy is a natural blond. 167) I will not sprend rumors that Legolas Greenleaf is his second cousin either. 168) Luna Lovegood is NOT always on "psychedelic mushrooms" and I should stop implying that she is. 169) The same goes for Professor Trelawney. 170) I will not get a tattoo of a smiley face on my arm and claim that it is the new Dark Mark. 171) I will not set my robes on fire to get out of potions. 172) I should not be a sports' commentator for Ron and Hermione's arguments. 173) Hogwarts does not need a "This many days since Harry has almost died" sign. 174) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball. 175) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office. 176) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter. 177) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show you the pointy hat trick. 178) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar. 179) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms" 180) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's tasteless, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy. 181) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month". 182) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand. 183) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot. 184) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, I will assume that I am not allowed to use it. 185) I will not lock the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive. 186) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast. 187) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day". 188) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways. 189) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor. 190) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort. 191) Even though he needs one. 192) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy. 193) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling. 194) It is not necessary to yell "BAM" every time I Apparate. 195) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways. 196) I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor shall I insist that their colors indicate that they're "covered in bees." 197) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge. 198) If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm. 199) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers. 200) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion. 201) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween. 202) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself too seriously. 203) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knights Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions. 204) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet. 205) I will not attack my fellow classmates. 206) I will not make an impossible riddle for people to give an answer to enter the Ravenclaw area. 207) When signing to all of these rules, I am not allowed to write in red ink and say that the Cullens lent me some grizzly bear blood Stolen from KJtheELMtree ΩΩΩΩΩ All credits of this beautiful speech goes to Nic-n'-Nyx. To all other young fiction authors out there. Copy and paste if you wish. It just needs to be said, and needs to be heard; You may be a reject. You may not be smooth with the spoken word. You may be the most popular kid in school. You may be the boss at your office. You may be short or tall or heavy or light or anorexic or white or dark or struck by an unfriendly label. You may be the homeless guy on the corner or the one inside the store signing books as you hand them out. You may listen to Justin Bieber or to Three Days Grace. But what you are is a writer; never doubt the power of what you can do. Tell me, what did you learn more from this year; the President, or the Hunger Games? The senator or Rick Riordan? The public speaker or Clarissa Fray? Your boss or Pi Patel? American Idol or the Twilight Saga? A list of facts or Harry Potter? Which of them stole the most of your time? Which is more well-known? It's the book. Every time. People fail to realize flaws in our society in their own lives, but they see it in District Twelve and in the Capitol. Books make clear what we can't see with the naked eye. Authors are the ones that speak to people's hearts. Writers are the ones people turn to for lessons and entertainment. It's been this way for thousands of years. We are the teachers of every child who opens a book. The themes we write are the themes they learn. We are there in every life, a quiet influence bound in a pretty cover, months' worth of work and reading, colored with imagery built around the lightning rod of an unforgettable plot line. A story spent months reading is memorable more than a speech listened to for just five minutes. I can't name all the leaders of the world right now, nor what they decide to preach about, but I can tell you all the characters from Percy Jackson, and every little thing they taught me. And they are things worth learning. So don't think there's a better way to make a point. Don't think there's a better way to reach your audience. Fiction stories have been striking the hearts of their readers farther back than anyone alive can remember. And striking the heart is what makes literature so different from everything else. Don't ever doubt your ability to show someone something new, to teach them a life lesson, or the importance of what you have to say. Say it in this foreign language everyone knows. Decorate it with characters and light it with sights and smells and sounds and touches and tastes and give it to the public gift-wrapped with your finest effort. Because I guarantee you, someone is bound to hear you clearer than they've heard anyone else before. I hope you've found some words of inspiration. The world needs it desperately. Do us all a favor, all you writers, and come out of hiding. We've had the greatest influence of all over people of the past, and as we act now, we are the ones influencing the future. We have more knives and pens than the BVB Army, more sway in society than the Senate, (whom we have proved this to before), more power than any celebrity you could name. I'm calling on you now. Rise up. I dare you to write something today that readers won't forget. I challenge you to make someone cry with one thin little page of text. I urge, no, I demand you to put something down on paper that'll be copied and produced and remembered for longer than Ancient Mythologies have been. I dare you to slam a revolving door*. I demand you to write a message in the folds of a book and watch how, in awe, people unwrap it. Watch your footprints stand bold against the falling snow and refuse to be covered. It is all possible, I assure you. You have no idea just what power you hold in a pen - or a keyboard - until you use it. And right now, the world needs you to use it more than ever. We, writers, have made history. We were the ones to record it. And that ability has not changed at all, just our awareness and will to use it. We were given the gift language and storytelling for a reason. This is that reason. It's calling. So ask yourself what message you want to send. Ponder about what you want to say. Because the world is listening to us above all other beings currently on this earth. Us, not the movies, not the official-labeled politicians, not the superstars. And it's our job to give it a story worthwhile. What's yours? ΩΩΩΩΩ Six truths in life 1. You cannot stick your tongue out and look up at the ceiling at the same time: a physical impossibility 2. All idiots, after reading this will try it 3. And discover that it's a lie 4. You are smiling now because you are an idiot. 5. You will soon post this on your profile for another idiot to see. 6. There is still a stupid smile on your face. I sincerely apologize about this but I am an idiot and i needed company =) If you count as an idiot, post this onto your profile! You Know You're a Book Addict If: You can randomly open to a page and know exactly what's going on. (YES!) You write fanfictions about the book. (Why am I on this sight then?) You try to get all of your friends (and everyone else) to read your favorite books. (Hades yeah!) You accidentally call everyone by the character's names. Everything reminds you of the book.(Definitely!) You quote random lines all the time.(Most of the time) You try to do things that the characters do, even though you know you can't. (Yeah.) You've gotten incredibly bored in class, and debated on doing something your favorite character can do to escape the class. (That's a great idea! I know what to do during class now!) You have pictures of your favorite characters on your iPod. (That is like, one of the most important part about being a Fangirl/boy!) You've got a book memorized. (Yep! :)) You've read a book more than five times. (Duh! I mean, HoH is like 500 and something pages long (I feel ashamed not to know the number :()) You've read a book with 400 pages in less than two days. (Yep!) You've planned and prepared a siege on a writer's house because he/she killed a character you like. (...WHO TOLD YOU!) You've plotted to murder a character and steal her boyfriend. (At the moment Nico and Leo don't have girlfriends-does that count?) You hate it when someone calls your favorite character fictional. (Yes!) You blatantly deny it when someone calls a character fictional. (ALWAYS!!!) I am a book addict and proud of it!!! If you are one too, copy and paste this on your profile. (Posted before House of Hades) ΩΩΩΩΩ Remember when: HP was just a printer. FOUR was just a number. SUGAR CUBES were just something you put in your tea. You didn't care about ANCIENT GREECE/ROME/EGYPT. SHIPS were just big boats. LOOK AT YOU NOW. if you can relate, copy and paste this onto your profile. and add your name to this list: ihatejasongrace, PjoHoOFan, ChristianCountryGirl ΩΩΩΩΩ P- Powerful E- Energetic R- Rambunctious C- Clever Y- Young J- Joyful A- Amazing C- Confident K- Kind S- Stupendous! O- Optimistic N- Noble PJO fans need to have this on their profile ΩΩΩΩΩ You Know You’re Obsessed With Percy Jackson When… You go to the Empire State Building and ask for the 600th Floor. There’s a thunderstorm going on and you scream, “CALM DOWN, ZEUS!” Every time you use the Internet, you thank Hermes. When you see Harry Potter, you think of Percy with glasses. When you see an owl, you go, “Hi Athena!” You go on a cruise and you hope the boat isn’t the Princess Andromeda. You’re on a boat and you pray that Poseidon is in a good mood. Bring a blue plastic hairbrush with you everywhere. When it gets really cold randomly, blame Kronos. You get a Greek mythology calendar for Christmas. You don't read anything but PJO for three months. You've gone to Google maps and looked up Camp Half-Blood’s address. Even though not diagnosed, you claim you have ADHD or dyslexia and blame it on your godly parent. You yell "Annabeth!" every time you see a NY Yankees hat. Anytime you see an orange shirt, you look at the front of it to see if it's a Camp shirt. You are a PJO character for Halloween. Recite lines randomly from the books. When you see/hear about anything myhtology-related, you talk about how it was in PJO (what page, book, etc.) and what happened to it. You are going to the Camp Half-Blood in Texas. You claim that Percy IS real and lives in New York no matter how much your friends argue with you. You have dreams about PJO characters/events. You carry a ballpoint pen in your pocket. Every time you pick up a pen, you think it'll turn into a sword. Whenever your internet slows down, you yell at the sky and say "HERMES! WHY DO YOU LOVE ANNOYING ME?!" At the beginning of your first History class, you burst out, "Will we be studying Greek mythology?!" You pretend to (or actually) faint when someone asks "Who's Percy?" When someone mentions the name Percy (like Percy Weasley) you (mentally) scream "JACKSON!" You are known to scream names of the characters at random times. You've got a copy of one of the books at all times in case of emergency. You pray to Athena when you don’t study for a math test. And when you flunk said test, you blame her irritation on Percabeth. When you steal your friend's pen you believe it's justified because your dad is the god of thieves, and you thought it was Riptide and had to check to make sure Percy was still alive. You write PJO fanfiction constantly, even when you're not at your computer. When your mom grounds you from the computer, you blame it on a combination of Nemesis, Hera and Hermes' little joke. You want Hephaestus to fix your iPod when it breaks. You give all your friends godly parents. You spend time doing pointless research, just because Rick Riordan linked it on his site. You think Percy's extended family needs extensive therapy. You want Kronos buried under Witchita, Kansas, in a safe deposit toothpick box. No one will ever look there, and hopefully he'll be too tiny to bother the locals. You blame your little brother's desire to turn off your Internet in the middle of this review on Hermes' anger that you've joked about all of them. You imagine random unwritten PJO moments during class and laugh. When one brave soul unaware of your obsession broaches the question of why you were laughing, you try to explain. They think you are nuts because you are laughing at Hades' wild card of Nico. You go on YouTube and look at PJO themes for characters. You read page 287 of BotL over and over again or say the lines in your head. Your Internet homepage is Rick Riordan's blog. You crack up if anyone mentions the word Canada or Canadians. You get other people obsessed. You spend most of your time thinking what will happen in Boo. You know exactly what someone means when they say LT, SoM, TC, BotL, TLT, SoN, TLH, MoA, and PJO and use it in conversations. When someone dies, you give them a sack of red rubber balls for Cerberus. Every time you see a guy in a wheelchair you think "Chiron!” You find yourself saying things like "Oh my gods!" and "What the Hades?" When you burn yourself, you curse Hephaestus. You go up to a teacher in a wheelchair and say, "I know who you really are, Chiron…" You checked to make sure your principal doesn’t have a tail. You know which pages the good parts are on. You suddenly hate thunderstorms. You start hearing Percabeth in every song you hear. You started calling your dog Mrs. O’Leary. You start figuring out who your godly parent is (Hades or a titan) You never looked at a ballpoint pen the same way again. You ask the cashier at the store if they stock Mythomagic cards. You start doing pro/con lists in your head. During Math. When you’re supposed to be taking notes. When the three-month countdown starts, you check every fansite you know of every day for new information. You try to figure out how much food dye you need to turn chocolate chip cookies blue. (Four drops for every three cookies) You make references to it in school reports and/or to friends that haven’t read it. The first thing you ask someone when you meet them is, “Have you read PJO?” You know PJO better then most sane people. You add things to the list every day. You know what you would do if you were Percy. You wish you could find a rainbow to see if Iris messages work. (Although I don't have a golden drachma.) You're trying to learn Greek. You think of Percy every time you see a dark-haired green-eyed boy. You have a crush on Nico. You just have to research more about Greek mythology. You want to learn Latin. You have one or more things related to PJO on your school stuff, and if someone asks you why, you tell them. You call yourself a demigod. You wish with every fibre of your being that the first page of The Lightning Thief told the truth, and the PJO series is real. You’re nodding and smiling when you read this. You are planning on adding a lot more things to this list. You copy/paste this onto your profile. ΩΩΩΩΩ I DONT CARE WHAT They’re GOING TO SAY! LET THE RUMOR RAGE OOOOOON...THE DARK NEVER BOTHERED ME ANYWAYS" "I survived 9-11, Ice Storm 08, and Swine 09. Doomsday 2012? BRING IT ONNNNN!" -Facebook "Be yourself, everyone else is taken." The following statement is true: The previous statement is false Now I'm confused I just think these are worth remembering (scenes from other fanfictions): Exorcists Hollows and Time Warps Oh My!: Miranda looked over at the Time Record, which was still glowing, and watched as it suddenly deactivated. Then she ran screaming towards Komui's office to tell him of the strange occurrence. Unfortunately, she would get hopelessly lost, wind up at Kanda's room about four times, ask Kanda for directions ten times, and finally wind up at Komui's office through pure dumb luck. Of Kings and Pawns: The brunet shook his head and frowned as he pointed a shaking finger towards the immortal witch, who didn't seem offended by the rude gesture. "You," he began as he continued to point, "start making sense, right now!" My Watermelon Candy: "Explain to me again why I'm cooking?" Hitsugaya stood on a step stool, frilly pink apron reading "I'm with stupid" tied onto his slight form. Holding his face precariously over a bubbling red sauce, he tossed a pinch of herbs into the pot. "Cause! I got a promotion so we're celebrating!" Yachiru grinned at him from the table in his living room at the Squad 10 barracks. "How much longer? For the Seretei's sake, it's just spagetti and meatballs." "Shut up!" Hitsugaya head snapped over his shoulder. "It's harder than it looks!" Ice crept onto the handle of the ladle he was holding, forcing him to bang it on the countertop, shattering both the ice and the ladle. "Damn it, not another one! Anyway, how did you get promoted? You didn't take the captain's exam or anything!" Yachiru simply smiled at him, her teeth eerily reminiscent of fangs. "You obviously forgot who killed Aizen in the Winter War." For a while the pair delved into silence as disturbing mental images of Yachiru killing Aizen zoomed around Hitsugaya's now-teenage mind. A look of sheer terror slowly crept onto his usually stoic face. "You, know, we can always call Big Boobies to help you cook," Yachiru said, snapping Hitsugaya out of his day-nightmare. "Don't even think it!" Sure enough, Matsumoto peeked her head around the corner. "Captain Hitsugaya!" She squealed, "You're cooking! Let me help you!" Hitsugaya was immediately ejected to the table, apron flying off him in the process, and resigned himself to watching Matsumoto furiously add oddly colored ingredients to the pot. As the iron pot began to melt, so did Yachiru's patience. "Where's the food?" She cried, folding her arms. "Just a minute, Captain Kusajishi!" "That is not my name!" Matsumoto turned, staring at the young girl, perplexed. "Uh, what is your name, then?" She stuttered. "I'm Captain Yachiru!" The girl banged her hands on the table. "Cap-tain Ya-chi-ru!" Matsumoto smiled, turning back to her creation. "Of course. Sorry, Captain Yachiru." Hitsugaya rested his chin on his hands hands, frowning. "That isn't proper," he grumbled. Yachiru grabbed the corners of his mouth, forcing them upwards. "You're such a prude, Snowy! No wonder you have old hair!" Leaning over, she settled onto his shoulder and closed her eyes. "Wake me up when there's food..." she mumbled, yawning. "Knowing Matsumoto's cooking there won't be food." Hitsugaya growled under his breath, stuck in an uncomfortable position by the sleeping girl on his shoulder. Seeing that Matsumoto was in full destruction "cooking"mode, he laid down, allowing Yachiru's pink head to slip onto his chest. Just as he began to drift into unconsciousness, a shrill voice sliced into his ears. "So this is why you wouldn't come to lunch with me? So you can lie around with little pests and wait for your lieutenant to explode the kitchen?" Hitsugaya sat up, knocking Yachiru onto his lap. Hinamori stood before him, her eyes - no, her whole face shooting daggers into his skull. Tears dripped onto the floor, her eyes clouding over. "How... could you?" "M-Momo! It's not like that!" Well, he couldn't argue that the second part wasn't true, but... "Well I don't see any other way it could be!" Tears were now flowing down her cheeks, her eyes growing red and puffy. "You know, he can have other friends." Yachiru's eyes were open, her head still dormant on Hitsugaya's lap. "You woke me up," she added, stating the obvious. With that, she got up and yawned, looking expectantly at Hitsugaya. "What?" "Where's the food?" "What?" "I told you, wake me up when there's food. So you woke me up. Where's my food?" "I didn't wake you up! Talk to Hinamori instead!" Yachiru turned her red gaze to her new lieutenant. "Lieutenant Hinamori!" "Yes?" Was the grumbled response. "Food! Now!" Hinamori bit her tongue, stopping herself from yelling. "Forgive me... Captain Kusajishi. I have no food with me." Yachiru frowned, crossing her arms. "Well, then, if no one has food..." "Lunch is served, everyone!" Matsumoto swept over to the table with a large plate of bubbling purple gel, sizzling through the glass platter. "U-uh, you know, I really need to get back to the Squad 5 barracks! Lot's of paperwork!" Hinamori scrambled towards the door. "Oh no you don't!" Matsumoto shrieked, diving and grabbing the unfortunate girl's ankle. "I slaved over this dish! You eat!" As the four soul reapers sat down, Hitsugaya took a moment to seal a small envelope, tucking it into the fold of his hakama pants. "What's that, Snowy?" "My will." Change One Side, Change The Story: He then began bouncing his body up and down with the beat and bobbing his free hand as if he wanted everyone else to dance with him, which no one did; "Did you know he could sing?" Kisuke asked to Kusaka, to which the raven haired young man looked at him and shook his head; "I didn't even know he could talk properly." Order of the Shinigami: I read Kisuke's letter, which made me grin. He had reported on the update while including several useless comments such as, "As far as I know, this will tell you where the Horucruxes are. It's almost complete now, it just needs some adjusting. I've tested all of Ichigo Kurosaki's family and friends with it, so I can guarantee that it doesn't go off for Quincy, Human-Somethings, Shinigami or Whatever-The-Hell-Kurosaki-Is." Order of the Shinigami: Ron got a little bit of a nervous look on his face, "Does teachers from Japan always do things like that?" "Like what?" "Spring surprise attacks on their students?" I thought about that. Kurosaki Ichigo ran for his life while Urahara chased him across the room, waving his sword and shooting of blasts with his shikai. Kurosaki had just wanted to learn how to control his reiatsu and perform basic kido to pay back Kuchiki, but Urahara had felt the need to teach him how to deal with shikai attacks. It was my first week in the Tenth Squad. People had said Captain Kurosaki liked to surprise the new recruits, but I had ignored them. That morning Isshine-Taicho had jumped through the window above my bed in the squad bunks. "GOOOOOOOOOD MORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNING NEEEEEEEEEEEEW RECRRRRRRRRRRRRUITS!" he bellowed, coming straight for me. I lunged at him instinctively, not realizing who he was. "Good God!" I roared, throwing a punch that sent him flying into the wall, "Who the hell does sneak attacks at four in the fucking morning? Are you insa-" then I realised who he was, "Oh. Shit. Deepest apologies, Kurosaki-Taicho." I bowed to him and he stood up grinning. "No worries, I liked that response. Nice to see my new Squad members are in shape." He ruffled my hair before walking out of the room. A few minutes later one could hear him shouting, "GOOOOOOOD MORRRRRNING SEEEEEEEEEEEEECOND YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAR RECRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUITS!" Abarai Renjii had made the mistake of sleeping in Urahara's shop one night too long. Yoruichi Shihoin decided it was time for him to wake up and cook breakfast. By drop kicking him through three walls and a door into the kitchen. When the Vaizards had told Ichigo they would train him, I don't think he realised that they meant they would train him twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. I'll admit, I thought it was pretty funny when Shinjii jumped him- sword drawn and mask on- right as Kurosaki walked out of the shower. Kurosaki, he didn't think it was as funny. I had thought staying over at the Kurosaki's house when I was in on a short trip to Karakura town seemed like a good idea. Rukia was in the Soul Society, and the closet bed was free. I left the door open because every once and a while Kurosaki would ask something about the Soul Society and I got tired of opening and closing the door to respond. And then, at four in the morning, like a repeat of my worst nightmares, I heard, "GOOOOOD MORRRRRNING, ICHIGOOOOOOO!" Prophecies and Missions: Ami was immediately by his side and briefly looked up to see the entire Weasley family, plus Hermione and the other four Soul Warriors standing in the doorway. Ami looked back to Sirius and Snape, who both had shocked look on their faces. In between the two was no longer Harry, but Toushirou, who had a sword out and pointed at Snape, while his other hand was pointed and Sirius 0and ready for any type of nonverbal kidou spell. "Oh, dear, put that thing away!" Mrs. Weasley exclaimed. "It's not safe!" Ichigo stopped her. "Which is why you shouldn't interfere." He and Renji knew exactly what was going on. Toushirou was stopping an idiotic, useless argument by sheer force. Prophecies and Missions: "Sorry you had to see that," Toushirou said, still calm and quiet. Minako leaned over to Hermione and Ron and whispered, "That's either his I'm-calm-now-tone or his I'm-on-the-verge-of-blowing-a-gasket-tone. So watch out." Hogwarts Bound: "Isn't this exiting? No one in my family is magical at all. It was such a surprise when I got my letter, but I was glad of course. Form what I've heard Hogwarts is the best school of witchcraft there is. What about you? Is anyone in your family magical? Of course not, otherwise you wouldn't need Professor McGonagall to help you. Then who is the man with you, he doesn't look like your related, and Professor McGonagall called you different names?" She finished with a confused look. Hitsugaya looked at her wondering what to make of this girl. She was waiting for an answer, and he was ordered to blend in, which meant he could not be an ass to everyone he met. "His name is Kisuke Urahara. He is my guardian." The Mystery of Hogwarts (DISCONTINUED): Hitsugaya growled as he recalled the event... It couldn't be! It was Kenpatchi-taichō speeding out of the horizon on his feet. There was also two people hang on his back shouting 'RUN FASTER KENNY!!' After a few minutes they were now a half a mile away from him then the people of the poor Captain's back shouted 'look it's Shiro-kun stop kenny!!' Kenpatchi-taichō skid to a halt to quickly making on of the riders on his back to fling off and like a missile blast towards him "TOTO-KUN!!!"... The Dead of Winter: They'd been assigned a project that consisted of gazing into their crystal balls and writing down all that they saw. On the taicho's paper it simply read different forms of the same word: fog, smoke, vapour, clouds and it continued like that for the entire table he'd had to draw out. Divination was the one class that he let himself relax in. While he might not use what he learned in the other courses ever again at least he was still actually learning something. Divination consisted of, 'gaze into the crystal ball/tea leaves/palm of your partner and behold!' Well all he 'beheld' was smoke, fog, vapour, clouds and so on. On other days he'd written down: wet foliage, damp leaves, contours of skin, grooves in flesh…really if the course continued in such a manner he was going to run out of ways to rephrase things. There were only so many ways you could say smoke and he was running through them rather quickly. Maybe if he invested in a thesaurus he could buy himself some more time… "Mr. Hitsugaya, are you even listening to me?!" He opened his eyes to find a red faced Trelawney staring down at him, "I'm sorry Professor I was lost in thought for a moment." She glared before sighing, "Yes well, you don't seem to be participating in today's lesson." "I've completed today's assignment already Professor." The woman gave him a disbelieving look before she snatched up his paper and read through the boxes all filled with singular words, "But- but all you've done is rewrite the same thing over!" He took the paper from her boney grip, "I think you'll find that nothing is repeated." She went from red, to redder, "But they're all Synonyms!" "Your point?" The bug resembling Professor spluttered for a moment before getting up and simply walking away as she continued to mutter to herself. Neville took the paper from his friend, "She's right," he said after a moment "All you did was rewrite the same thing a different way!" He continued to glance down the list before grabbing some of the parchment from the day before, "…I didn't know there were so many ways to say wet leaves." "Oh, you'd be surprised." Paternal Instinct: Robin's soft cackle echoed. "My daddy's going to killl yooouuuu..." Robin sang. Then the glass shattered. YJ "I gotta say, the lightshow was my favourite part." Robin rubbed his raw wrists to soothe them (damn, being cuffed to a table for hours still hurt no matter how many times villain's subjected him to it) as he grinned up at Batman, who merely cocked an eyebrow at him, scowling. But Robin had learned to tell the difference between I'm-scowling-in-disappointment, I'm-not-consciously-scowling-this-is-my-default-face and the softer I'm-scowling-to-hide-my-amusement. And this was definitely the latter. Robin could practically hear Batman's mental sigh as the man trussed up the unconscious criminals. "It wasn't smart to aggravate them, Robin," he berated, securing their wrists behind their backs. "What was I supposed to do for hours, twiddle my thumbs? Crochet?" "Distressed criminals are dangerous." "Psh. Please. They were too scared to do anything in case you decided to put their lungs in a pickle jar and keep it on the shelf." Batman's I'm-scowling-to-hide-my-amusement expression intensified as he straightened up. Rich and Henry's heads lolled; Henry groaned, and Rich's left hand still trembled. "They were guarding those drugs for a reason, probably a sale. They'll be awake at any moment. I'll interrogate. Station yourself on the roof and keep an eye out for their customers." Robin - belt, gauntlet and equipment now retrieved and back on his person - nodded and moved to leave, but halted when something occurred to him. "One sec." Batman narrowed his eyes in confusion as Robin rustled around the nearby desk for a few moments before producing a red marker, then striding over to Rich and Henry and adorning their necks with two red dots each. "For good measure," Robin answered Batman's searching look with a cackle, popping the pen cap back on. Blood Stained Hands: Dick and Wally had been playing basketball at Wayne Mansion when Dick suddenly stopped, a far-off look on his face. "Dick, what's up?" Wally asked as he shot a basket, eyeing Dick out of the corner of his eye. "My Bat-Sense is tingling," Dick murmured as a light spring breeze went through his hair. Wally chuckled and muttered to himself "I knew that he had a Bat-Sense. I just knew it." Dimensional: He wasn't seeing things, the world wasn't spinning and he wasn't collapsing or seeing old, faded memories. Eventually, he had just screamed "screw you" to life, right in the face, and then punched him in the gut and walked away. He decided that he would eat, even if it involved stealing. Of course, he'd been conflicted about it. He shouldn't have left his body get to such a low point. He blamed it on his own sick pride. He didn't want to betray Batman's trust, even if Batman didn't know about it. But maybe that was how he showed his love, even it was from such a far distance. Still, he felt as if he would be betraying his trust just because he was in an alternate universe with no one that he wanted to turn to, didn't mean he had to steal. Well, that's when he punched life in the gut and walked way, leaving Life on the sidewalk bleeding from his mouth. Though, this might have just been a dream of a guy with a white shirt with the word "life" sprawled across it that was trying to giving him lemons on the sidewalk. The guy was really annoying… and overly joyful about the lemons. So Dick may have imagined punching him in the face and yelling "screw you and your lemons". Three views, one plot: Odd jumped into the air with shock. He was in an unknown place, with someone he most likely didn't know and possibly in a country he had never been to. At least that he could remember. His family did do a lot of traveling when he was very young. So he didn't remember exactly where all he had been. Or all the places he had been left behind at either. Surprisingly enough that was almost as many places he had been. Move Along: "Great." The Dark Knight of Bludhaven smiled, "Now, if your anger management issues get anyone on the team injured or killed, you'll regret it. If Robin is seriously injured in any mission you happen to take the team on, I will slit your throat with a Kryptonite scalpel. Okay?" Keep in mind, Nightwing said this with a smile, which scared Conner even more than it should've. Forget the fact that the clone was almost twice the size of the bird, he would've shit himself even if it were the thirteen-year-old he knew so long ago. "Okay." Conner said. "Great. Now, if you need anything, I'll be holed up in my apartment for the next week or so, looking at dead bodies and hissing at my girlfriend when she wants me to leave the house or opens the curtains to let the sun in." Conner nodded. "See you guys later!" Nightwing said as he and Zatanna left the warehouse. Blue Bird: Canary lunged with a well placed jab, which Nightwing easily blocked and flipped away from Canary before she could follow it up with a kick. She pivoted to keep her eyes on Nightwing as he hit the ground and made to sweep her legs out from under her. She dodged the attack and returned with a feint to the left followed through with a powerful right hook, but Nightwing anticipated the movement and blocked by catching Canary's fist and flipping her over his shoulder. Canary avoided hitting the floor and brought Nightwing over with her. He too managed to avoid the floor and made a jab for Canary's ribs, causing her to release his wrist so he could circle around and deliver a kick to the back of her knees. Canary hit the floor and the computer announced with a mundane finality; "Black Canary; fail." Nightwing held out a hand and Canary took it, allowing the man to pull her to her feet; "Nice move." She said, "Where'd you learn it?" Nightwing frowned slightly; "That particular one was a variation on a basic form used by most professional assassins to immobilise opponents. I learnt it in Bludhaven from a student of mine who then proceeded to throw two feet of lead piping at my head." Camp is for Regular People: "Lets talk about this tomorrow. It's been a long day." They arrived at the cabin, and Megan went in after saying goodnight. Artemis paused in the door. "Wally...?" "Yeah?" He turned back around. "Just...you know, be careful." Artemis stood awkwardly, and then turned and went in side. But not before she heard Wally say softly: "You too." "Hey, what about me?" Dick asked. "Dude, you're a ninja." The Girls of Gotham Academy: She glared up at Wally, which was quite hard considering her current position of upside down on the couch watching some survival show that was teaching her how to survive in the caves in Romania Psh like she'll ever need that. "I want a grape," she tried again. "You'll choke on it." "I will put my foot in your face." "No you won't-Jesus Christ! Get that thing away from me." She totally had to thank Dick for that list of things Wally is scared of. The list was topped with feet and she was so going to take advantage of that; compared to the other things on the list, it was the most accessible. That is unless the zoo will let her rent a walrus (note to future Artemis: ask Dick for money for walrus). She snorted out a laugh as he pushed her foot out of his face and made her sit up right. The sudden vertigo caused her a bit of confusion—note: it is not fun having the world flipped at super human speed. As she steadied herself she turned to look at Wally and he looked back her like he had just won a medal or something glorious like that. "Will you feed me a grape now?" And he deflated just as fast. She smirked—her job was done here. He reluctantly threw her a grape, and she plopped it in her mouth. "Loser." "ArtemisSee that girl you just called fat? She is starving herself. You know that girl you just called ugly? She spends hours putting on make-up hoping people will like her. That boy you just tripped?He is abused enough at home. See that old man you made fun of cause of the ugly scars? He fought for our country. See that young boy you just made fun of for always being sick? He has to walk home in the snow cause his family is too poor. That guy you just made fun of for crying? His mother is dying. I promise to remember Percy whenever I'm at sea, I promise to remember Annabeth whenever a spider comes at me. I promise to protect nature for Grover's sake of course, I promise to remember Luke when my heart fills with remorse. I promise to remember Chiron whenever I see a sign that says ''free pony ride,'' I promise to remember Tyson whenever a friend says they'll stick by my side. I promise to remember Thalia whenever a friend is scared of heights, I promise to remember Clarisse whenever I see someone that gives me a fright. I promise to remember Bianca whenever I see a sister scold her younger brother, I promise to remember Nico whenever I see someone who doesn't get along with others. I promise to remember Zoe whenever I watch the stars, I promise to remember Rachel whenever a limo passes my car. Yes, I promise to remember PJO wherever I may go. In loving memory of... ...Luke Castellan, who died to save Olympus and will always be remembered as a hero ...Zoe Nightshade, who went on a quest to save her goddess knowing very well that she would die ...Bianca di Angelo, who sacrificed herself to save her friends ...Daedalus, who died to prevent Luke's army from using the Labyrinth ...Silena Beauregard, who died of the greatest heroes ...Charles Beckendorf, who let himself die for the sake of a mission's success ...Ethan Nakumura, who redeemed himself in the end only to be killed by Kronos ...Everyone else who died in the Titan War or saving someone else because they knew it was right Friend stuff: Friends will phone you in jail. But best friends will be sitting next to you saying "that was awesome!" Good friends will share their umbrella. Best friends will take yours and say "RUN,RUN!!" Good friends will wipe your tears when you're rejected. Best friends will go up to him and say "It's because you're gay, isn't it?" A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will prank call him at 3:00 in the morning and make chicken noises into the phone. A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend trips you again. A good friend helps you brush the grass out of your hair. A best friend throws more and laughs when it sticks. A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you. A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies. You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You love, I love. You jump off a bridge, I go get a boat and save your retarded ass. Diamonds are precious and so are pearls, but nothing is better then me and my girls. Enemies stab you in front, friends stab you in the back, boys stab you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws n case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods: On a Myer hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping". (Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair). On a bag of Chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!) On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap". (And that would be how?) On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost". (But, it's just a suggestion). On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down". (Well...umm, a bit late, huh)! On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating". (You don't think?) On packaging for a K-Mart iron: "Do not iron clothes on body". (But wouldn't this save me more time? I mean, where else would you use this?) On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication". (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those forklifts.) On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness". (I am only hoping) On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only". (As opposed to using in outer space) On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use". (And that would be...?) On Nobby's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts". (Really, and there's no peas?) On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts". (I think there missing a step there, Like step 1: Ask for peanut packet?) On a package of sunflower seeds: "Does not contain peanuts" (Because obviously in a sunflower seed package there will be peanuts.) On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal child dream.) On a cartilage for a laser printer: Do not eat toner. (Awww, I bought it ESPECIALLY to eat it!) On a carpenter's electric drill: This product isn't intended for use as a dental drill. (I'll take that as a no to my dream of a teenage dentist?) l If you like singing copy and paste this onto your profile. If you like writing copy and paste this onto your profile. If you like reading, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this on your profile. If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile! If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have your own little world, copy this to your profile If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear baiting, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile! If you've ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of it's effects post this in your profile. If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. If YOU get a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this to your profile. you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, post this in your profile Studies show that if Abercrombie released the fact that it wasn't cool to breathe, 92 percent of teenagers would die. If you're part of the other 8 percent who would be screaming with laughter, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile. If you think that those stupid kids should just give that God-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile. Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're one of the five percent that don't give a s, copy this, and put it in your profile. 96 out of 100 teenage girls would have a heart attack if they saw Edward Cullen on the edge of a tall building about to jump. Copy and paste this onto your profile if you're one of the 4 who would yell, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and kick him off yourself. If fanfiction is to you what MySpace is to other people, copy this onto your profile Copy and repost this if you think it's incredibly stupid that girls are associated with the color pink I'm the type of person who walks into a door and apologizes. My best friend is the type of person who will spend hours trying to drown a fish, but she's great anyway. If you hate racism, repost this If you listen to the lyrics in a song, repost this If you think that being unique is more important than being cool, copy and repost this If you are against child abuse, copy and repost this If you're one of those people who get excited when you get just one review, copy and paste this onto your profile If you've ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this onto your profile If you or your best friend is insane, copy and paste this onto your profile If you never watch Laguna Beach, The OC or the Hills, never have and never will and are proud of it, copy and paste this onto your profile If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this onto your profile If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this onto your profile If you have ever run into a tree, copy and paste this onto your profile If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy and paste this onto your profile If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy and paste this onto your profile Pluto was no longer declared a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was "too small" and "off its' orbit" for a couple of scientists' likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet, copy and paste this onto your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO! If you have ever tripped down the stairs, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa, copy and paste this onto your profile If you're a chocoholic, copy and paste this onto your profile If you're against drug usage, copy and paste this onto your profile 98 of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 who hasn't, copy and paste this onto your profile If you read other people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste, copy and paste this onto your profile If you are bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste this onto your profile If you've ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this onto your profile If you hate homework, join the club and copy and paste this onto your profile 100 of the teenage female population would want to be turned into a vampire. 98 would do so in order to marry their sparkly Edward Cullen. Put this on your profile if you'd be one of the 2 who would become a vampire in order to kick his sparkly butt. (I'm clean people!) If you would kill to have a tail, copy and paste this onto your profile Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this onto your profile There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself, and LOSE that it's weird. If you agree, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have too many of these 'copy and paste this onto your profile' thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this onto your profile PJO FANS: say OH MY GODS! (No censorship meant; it's just a obsession fan thing) NORMAL PEOPLE: say OMG! NORMAL PEOPLE: go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings PJO FANS:won't go to one because they will take away their awesome demigod powers NORMAL PEOPLE: rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast PJO FANS:will tell Zeus to make it rain NORMAL PEOPLE: say shut up or i'll tell on you! PJO FANS: say shut up or my godly parent will vaporize you! NORMAL PEOPLE: think that PJO fans are stupid PJO FANS: know that normal people are stupid NORMAL PEOPLE: when being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY! PJO FANS: when being chased use their awesome demigod powers NORMAL PEOPLE: get nervous/scared during thunderstorms PJO FANS: yell at Zeus to calm down NORMAL PEOPLE: would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation PJO FANS: would try and find Camp Half Blood NORMAL PEOPLE:don't have this on their profile PJO FANS: MUST have this on their profile! A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle Girl: Slow down, I'm scared! Guy: No, this is fun. Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared. Guy: Then tell me you love me. Girl: I love you, now slow down! Guy: Now give me a big hug. She gives him a big hug Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me. In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love 93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly, Alleyanna Cullen, hugs.4.all.the.emo.boyz, WritingRocks6, Bubble Blower, panache2005, .Dr1v3n t0 1n5aN1Ty., Serenity.Jones, crystalshake, KOIZUMI MICHIYO, Eeveeninja77, Linzerj, Witchsoul531, adopteddaughterofhestia, 5 percent of girls would scream and cry if the guy who plays Edward in Twilight jumped off the Empire State Building without a bungee cord or anything. 4 percent would grab popcorn and yell "COOL!" If you are part of the 1 percent who would be pushing him off For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself (i find that i am a very tough opponent). So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile. Pirates are cool. The color blue reminds me of chocolate and Edward Cullen. if two gooses are geese, would two mooses be meese? and if two foots are feet, wouldn't it be two feetball? walrus! AHAHAHAHA!! LUKE I AM YOUR FATHA!! i hate lacrosse. don't ask why. i want some toast. DO THE BARTMAN! SHOOBUS MY WOOBUS and SHOOP DA WOOP, baby! SUPER KITTY, AWAY!! Is that a Plane? No its just some random kitty,why does the victims phone wring at the worst time during a horror movie.If you are random, copy and paste this, then add something random of your own. Take Time To Read Each Sentence This is this cat This is is cat This is how cat This is to cat This is keep cat This is a cat This is retard cat This is busy cat This is for cat This is forty cat This is seconds cat Now read the THIRD word of every line. Then you'll get the joke. 18 Things to do when you're in Walmart! 1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, 8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. 9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are. 10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" 12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, 13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. 14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here! 15. Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!", or "I choose YOU, PIKACHU!!" 16. Have a friend push you down the aisle in a shopping cart as you yell "THE REDNECKS ARE COMING! THE REDNECKS ARE COMING!" 17. Shout at the top of your lungs "WALDEMORT IS TAKING OVER!" and count how many people turn to look at you. 18. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking This is a story about God. Read if you believe in him, and read even if you don't. A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away. As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely. The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it? "This brochure will self-destruct in 5 seconds, and, if you are reading this, that means that you have already used 4 seconds of the 5 seconds you originally had." Things I Never Knew! they not mine but i thought they where funny so i posted them. On a Myer hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping". On a bag of Chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap". On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost". On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down". On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating". On packaging for a K-Mart iron: "Do not iron clothes on body". On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication". On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness". On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only". On a Japanese food processor:"Not to be used for the other use". On Nobby's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts". On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts". On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly \O/ -() () this if you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all: I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool! I am not normal, I am not the only one of my kind, I am special and I have reasons for my secrets. The only thing I keep close to me is a pen, a pad of paper, my secrets and my knife. Because you'll never know what will try to kill you when you're part of a nation, when you are a Fan Fictioner. - Lynx of the Sand Post this if you are a Fan Fictioner and you're proud of it I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Percy Jackson or Maximum Ride, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone Iheartjake, TeamJacob101, Boysareadrag, The Dawn Is Breaking, twilite addict, The Lonely Teenager, AliceDaSpaz, Skittle.Rocke, Silent_Broken_Heart, St. Fang of Boredom,rainbowstrike, iKate, fangalicous08, FangsTrashcanOfDoom, LukexThaliaxFan23, charn14, allyouneedislove1797, DemigodWitch96, PrincessOfDestiny14, witchsoul531christioncountrygirl. REASONS TO JOIN THE DARK SIDE (If you wish to join add this list to your profile): 1. We have cookies (last I checked there was hot chocolate too) 2. Meet the recruitment bunny! 3. You get a cool dark cape that covers your whole body! 4. You get a really cool crazy laugh! Practice with me, people: MWA HAHAHAHA cough cough! 5. You get to walk out of shadows mysteriously and freak out the good guys! 6. One word: UNDERLINGS! Someone to get things for you when you're too lazy to do them yourself... Now that's the life! 7. Money, Money, Money : Ever notice that we are usually much richer than the good guys? 8. WORLD DOMINATION! Most PWNZORS reason! And after Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says W T F. S.c.h.o.o.l: Seven Crappy Hours Of Our Lives. If someone insults you say 'How sweet thanks for noticing' and walk away If someone says you'll die old and alone say 'No I won't I'll have my cats' If you're not as pretty as the most popular girl in school her beauty is only skin deep yours is on the inside that's where it counts If you'd rather read then party GREAT If you like to jump in rain puddles and don't care about your clothes your not alone If you're a geek scream it from the roof tops If you're a nerd be proud of your brain and if you're a jerk... well you get the point Yes, I hit like a girl. You could too if you hit a bit harder. You Say Pink I Say Black Curiosity killed the cat but selflessness killed the dog If I could get a firm grip on reality, I'd choke it I love dead-lines. Especially the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by Add some sprinkle to your boring, icky, bland, vanilla life If you can't fix it with duck tape, it's not broken. She paints a pretty picture but there's a twist; the pen is her razor and the canvas is her wrist A positive attitude may not solve all of your problems but it will annoy enough people to make it worth your while I write for the same reason that I breath. . . because if I didn't then I would die. When things get bad, smile, because life is ironic and it's only going to get worse I had a thought but it got lonely and went away. Money talks and mine says "Good-bye." Went into the grinder and came out as hair Touch it and see if it's hot (you just had to be there for that one) It's okay to talk to yourself, it's okay to ask yourself questions, it's even okay to answer those questions. Just don't ever ask yourself a question and then go "huh?" Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense. Don't spend money you don't have cause at some point they're going to want it and you're still not going to have it. A friend will bail you out of jail at two o'clock in the morning but a true friend will be sitting in the cell beside you saying "Damn that was fun!" A friend will help you move but a true friend will help you move a body Due to the worsening of the economy the light at the end of the tunnel has been temporarily turned off. I do not suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it. My train of thought got derailed. If someone gave you half a brain, you'd still only have half a brain. All things in the world are mind over matter; if you don't mind then it doesn't matter. Close only counts in horseshoes and handgrenades. Most people have a filter between their brain and their mouth that tells them when they shouldn't say something. Me, not so much Shut up brain or I'll stab you with a Q-tip again. I tried to keep an open mind but my brains kept falling out The more things change, the more things remain. . . insane. You have hate mail. . . you have more hate mail. . . your hate mailbox is full. (occasionally Disney comes up with some real winners.) Knowledge is power. . . power corrupts. . . study hard. . . BE EVIL! Your talking is getting in the way of my telling you to shut up. I'm in hillbilly hell! My IQ is dropping by the second! I'm becoming one of them! Why is the rum gone?! 'Stress' A condition brought on by over riding the body's desire to kick someone's ass. Always glad to inadvertantly inspire genius. Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that. Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity... not so sure about the universe. The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not 1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you. When life gives you lemons, make grapefruit juice, and let life wonder how the heck you did that! The person who can smile when something goes wrong has probably thought of someone to blame it on. A good friend will help you up when you fall. A best friend will laugh and push you again. If two wrongs don't make a right, try three. Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up. Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes. Whoever said "Nothing's impossible" never tried slamming a revolving door. A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work. When life gives you lemons, squirt the lemons in Life's face I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out. When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets. Some say the glass is half full, some say the glass is half empty. I say “Are you gonna drink that?” The light you see at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of a fast approaching train. When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them. Boys are like Slinky’s, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs. You know it's a bad day when you fall out of bed and you miss the floor War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left. Growing older is mandatory. Growing up is Optional I've heard that its possible to grow up. I've just never met anyone who's actually done it. Kids are the future. Be afraid. Be very afraid. Sometimes you make me so mad I wanna throw you in the middle of ongoing traffic, but then I realize I would probably kill myself trying to save you. Keep on talking maybe one day you'll say something intelligent One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask directions. It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn. If all else fails, try reading the instructions. When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. If you can't convince them, confuse them. Ask me no questions, I will tell you no lies… Perfect men are only fictional. Remember: Some people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. The trouble with life is there's no background music. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on. The number of people staring at you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your actions. i believe that for every person in the universe there is a part of the universe that hates them new Toshiba laptop: $500, data recovery: $200, webcam: $100, letting your laptop know just how much you think of it by trowing it out a window: priceless I'm not a tomboy, I'm just better than you. I am who I am and I be who I be, you can kiss my ass if you don't like what you see. I rather be hated for who I am, then loved for something I'm not. Party hard, rock and roll. We're the class you can't control I'm not clumsy, I just think faster than I move. I'm not random, I just think quicker than you. Jealous? What happens if you get scared half to death twice? Does the noise in my head bother you? When it rains at my party, we dance in the rain. I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either. I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem. The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide. - Sarcasm isn't an attitude, it's an ART. Being weird is like being normal, only better!! I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me!! Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright. Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over. One day, will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people. I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather...not screaming like the passengers in his car.' I am not crazy! U know what! The voices don't like u anymore!' Death is life’s way of saying you’ve been fired. I hate it when the voices and my imaginary friends fight. The trouble with life is there's no background music Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it. Stupid kills, unfortunately not fast enough. They say the truth will set you free. But then why is it that every time I tell the truth I get sent to my room? ' The only thing standing between me and total happiness is reality.' My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil. An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed. Being mature is overrated. I'm the kind of kid who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday. I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive. God made man, knew he could do better, and made woman. At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote. I was about to conquer the world but then I got distracted by something shiny They laugh because we're losers...We laugh because they just figured it out. "Sir, we're surrounded!" When you really love someone, age, distance, height, and weight are just damn numbers. Love is giving someone the ability to destroy you, but trusting them not to. Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew. Forget the risk; take the fall. If it's what you want, it's worth it all. Every time I try to talk to you, I feel like a prisoner who hasn't talked in years, and I just can't get the words out of my mouth. "Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest." Mark Twain "Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear." Mark Twain "Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see." Mark Twain "A poem begins in delight and ends in wisdom." Robert Frost "Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired." Robert Frost "Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square hole. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do." The Percy Jackson Pledge: I promise to remember Percy Whenever I'm at sea I promise to remember Annabeth Whenever a spider comes at me I promise to protect nature For Grover's sake of course I promise to remember Luke When my heart fills with remorse I promise to remember Chiron Whenever I see a sign that says ''Free Pony Ride'' I promise to remember Tyson Whenever a friend says they'll stick by my side I promise to remember Thalia Whenever a friend is scared of heights I promise to remember Clarisse Whenever I see someone that gives me a fright I promise to remember Bianca Whenever I see a sister scold her younger brother I promise to remember Nico Whenever I see someone who doesn't get along with others I promise to remember Zoe Whenever I watch the stars I promise to remember Rachel Whenever a limo passes my car. I promise to remember The Stolls when my home is beginning to unsettle. I promise to remember Bekendorf whenever I see someone working metal. I promise to remember Silena whenever a friend takes one for the team I promise to remember Michael Yew whenever I see a smile that gleams. I promise to remember Briares whenever I see someone playing hand games. I promise to remember those lost in the Battle of the Labyrinth whenever I see a cloth in flames. I promise to remember those campers who fought against Kronos whenever I see someone go against the odds. Yes I promise to remember PJO Wherever I may go promise to remember Ares HUNTERS OF ARTEMIS PLEDGE: I pledge myself to the goddess Artemis. Lost your pen= No pen PJO quiz: Find your godly parent ZEUS You like being in charge. 3/10 POSEIDON You feel at home in the water. 1/10 HADES You’re not that much of a people person. 9/10 (ya! Hades is awesome!) DEMETER You own a garden. 3/10 ARES You often start fights. 3/10 ATHENA You have an insatiable thirst for knowledge. 4/10 APOLLO You’re very creative and artistic. 3/10 HUNTER OF ARTEMIS You dislike boys in general. 6/10 HEPHAESTUS You have a way with tools. 1/10 APHRODITE Every guy/girl swoons for you. 0/10 HERMES You like pickpocketing your friends.( I would if I could :)) 7/10 DIONYSUS You’re the life of the party. 0/10 I'm pretty sure I'm a daughter of Hades, or maybe Hermes. Copy/Paste if you think bacon is the most brilliant of the meats I Perseus Jackson. Savior of Olympus. Main character of the epicest book ever. Jason Grace. Thalia's "lost" "little" brother (he's technically older than her . . . maybe). Atlas. Zoë's father. Thalia Grace. The Lieutenant of Artemis and daughter of Zeus. Officers. The immortal skeletons dressed up as officers. List your 12 favorite PJO characters in no particular order: 1. Thalia 2. Bianca 3. Percy 4. Connor 5. Beckendorf 6. Artemis 7. Travis 8. Katie 9. Tyson 10. Luke 11. Annabeth 12. Nico Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to? Artemis/Annabth? O.o I pray to the gods that, that will never happen Do you think Four is hot? How hot? Connor..? Ummm... i don't now what he looks like What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant? Nico got Katie pregnant?!?! I'm a Tratie fan and that would be messed up if that happened Can you recall any fics about Nine? No, but I'm sure they exist (Nine is Tyson). Would Two and Six make a good couple? I honestly believe that ARTEMIS AND BIANCA DO NOT MAKE GOOD COUPLE... O.O Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why? Beckendorf/Tyson!?!? That's just gay! Beckendorf/Luke?!?! That's just even more gay! What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve making out? I think that Travis would be very, very scared if he walked in on Bianca and Nico making out... o.O Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fic. What happens when Percy sees Luke in Elysium? Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff? NO THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS THALIA/KATIE FLUFF!!!! Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic. No Comment (Travis/Nico hurt/comfort fic) Does anyone on your friends list read Three yet? Duh! basically all the fics are about Percy Go Percy!!! Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven? I'm not sure about writing, maybe drawing but definitely reading about Annabeth GO ANNABETH!!! Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five? NOT IN A MILLION YEARS If you wrote a Song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose? It could be... "Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be? DO NOT READ, I YOU DO YOU WILL BE SENT TO A MENTAL HOSPITAL!!! When was the last time you read a fic about Five? Sorry but i have never read a fic about Beckendorf -.-' Is number One hot, how hot? I don't wanna say Thalia is hot... I AM A GIRL Would Six and Three make a good couple? NO WAY!! PERCABETH FOREVA!!!! How would you feel if Seven and Eight were in a heated argument? Actually I can totally see Katie and Travis in an argument TRATIE FOREVA!!! What would you do if Five was a close friend with a sibling of yours? I think I would be shocked that my annoying sister could actually have a friend as awesome as Beckendorf How would you react if you saw Eight and Eleven in a closet together with a rubber ducky? Katie and Annabeth in a closet with a rubber ducky? not gonna happen How would you feel if Two dissed you in the worst possible way? Bianca would never diss me! she's too awesome and nice to diss people! If you saw Nine and Three together in a bed, how would you react? I would probably faint, throw up, or go mentally insane because 1) Percy has a girlfriend, 2) THEY'RE STEP-BROTHERS!!! You just came home from school and all your friends hate you. Plus, you got an F on the biggest project of the year in your best subject. Your parents have grounded you, and you have finally gotten time to rest in your room after a long scolding only to find 10 rummaging through your stuff. What do you tell him or her? Luke? GET THE FUDGE OUTTA MY ROOM (fudge means the F word to me) What would you do if One was emo and slit his or her wrists? I would strap Thalia to a table (for her not to hurt herself) and scream for Zeus What would you do if Four gave you a daisy? Hmmmm... Connor what did you do to the flower? Six stole your hair brush. What do you do? I don't think I would really care because I don't use my brush that often Seven, Nine, and Four have banded together and a sing the most annoying song in the world at the top of their lungs at 3 o'clock in the morning. What are your first thoughts? Hey, Connor, Travis, Tyson SHUT THE HELL UP UNLESS YOU WANT TO LIVE TO SEE ANOTHER DAY!!! Two and Eleven are you teachers. How do you react? Actually, I can totally see Annabeth (because she is smart and wise) and Bianca (because she is super nice) as teacher What would you say if you found out that Twelve was a rapist? I really can’t see Nico as a rapist… One and Seven are in a happy relationship until Nine runs off with Seven. One, brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with Eleven and a brief unhappy affair with Six, then follows the wise advice of Five and finds true love with Two. Thalia and Travis are in a happy relationship (Tratie all the way!!!) until Tyson runs off with Travis (WTF!?!?). Thalia, brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with Annabeth (I am very scared right now) and a brief unhappy affair with Artemis(Right now i want to crawl in a hole and hide), then follows the wise advice of Beckendorf(Does Beckendorf even give advice???) and finds true love with Bianca (o.O). What would this fic above be called? The demented, sad, sad, sad life of Thalia Grace List your favorite HoO (this includes people from TLH and TSoNcharacters in no particular order: 1. Percy 2. Leo 3. Frank 4. Piper 5. Hazel 6. Jason 7. Lupa 8. Octovian 9. Butch 10. Nyssa 11. Ella 12. Arion Do One and Nine make a good couple? PERCY AND BUTCH DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT MAKE A GOOD COUPLE Who do you prefer, five or ten? Hazel or Nyssa? I choose Hazel because I know more about her Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to? No i have not read a Jason/Ella fic JASPER ALL THE WAY!!!! Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why? Hazel/Butch or Hazel/Nyssa? i choose Hazel/Butch because at least it's a boy and girl but... FRAZEL FOREVA Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fic. What happens when Frank meets Nyssa? will love bloom? No Frazel!!! :( Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff? Oh Gods, I hope not. o.O (Percy and Octovian) If you wrote a Song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose? The betrayel song from lion king 2 I think its called "not one of us." or something... If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be? Percy/Jason/Arion: DEMENTED, MENTAL STUPIDITY When was the last time you read a fic about Five? About yesterday. One and Seven are in a happy relationship until Nine runs off with Seven. One, brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with Eleven and a brief unhappy affair with Six, then follows the wise advice of Five and finds true love with Two. Percy and Lupa (WTF?!) are in a happy relationship until Butch runs off with Lupa (NO COMMENT). Percy, brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with Ella (WTH!?) and a brief unhappy affair with Jason (O.O), then follows the wise advice of Hazel (Okay?...) and finds true love with Leo (THIS STORY MAKES NO SENSE!?!?!). Zoe:"Where is the dam snack bar?" "Put your cap back on," I said. "Get out!" me back to reality. Jason scratched his head. "You named him Festus? You know that in Latin, ‘festus’ means ‘happy’? You want us to ride off to save the world on Happy the Dragon?" With great power comes great the great need to take a nap - Nico Di Angelo We got Potter! We got Potter! - Fred & George Weasley There's a 13 year old girl, and she wished that her dad would come home from the army, because he'd been having problems with his heart and right leg. It was 2:53 p.m . When she made her wish. At 3:07 p.m. (14 minutes later), the doorbell rang, and there her Dad was, luggage and all!! I'm Katie and I'm 20 and I've been having trouble in my job and on the verge of quitting. I made a simple wish that my boss would get a new job. That was at 1:35 and at 2:55 there was an announcement that he was promoted and was leaving for another city. Believe me...this really works! My name is Ann and I am 45 years of age. I had always been single and had been hoping to get into a nice, loving relationship for many years. While kind of daydreaming (and right after receiving this email) I wished that a quality person would finally come into my life. That was at 9:10 AM on a Tuesday. At 9:55 AM a FedEx delivery man came into my office.He was cute, polite and could not stop smiling at me. He started coming back almost everyday (even without packages) and asked me out a week later. We married 6 months later and now have been happily married for 2 years. What a great email it was!! Just scroll down to the end, but while you do, think of a wish. Make your wish when you have completed scrolling. Whatever age you are, is the number of minutes it will take for your wish to come true. ex.you are 25 years old, it will take 25 minutes for your wish to come true). Go for it! SCROLL DOWN! STOP! Congratulations! Your wish will now come true in your age minutes. Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who had been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: When knowing when to come in out of the rain; Why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair, and Maybe it was my fault. Common Sense live by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more then you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six year old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do by disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion, or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live when a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot . she spilled a little on her lap and was rewarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him pass this on. if not join the majority and do nothing. I am a book freak, yes. So what? While I hole myself up in a good story, you're off reading things from Facebook. While I lose myself in unknown worlds, you'reoff playing Minecraft or World or Warcraft. While I learn things you can't imagine, you're off failing school ad your teachers and your family. I know more about some characters then i do myself-- characters you will never know. I can survive my whole life in a world-- a world you will never see. I know the secrets of people, places, and creatures-- all of which you will never meet. I could ruin your life,if I had the heart to and if you and I were in one of the worlds i know-- andyou would never tell the difference. I create worlds, people, creatures, but most of all lives whit my words that you call another boring subject-- something you will never experience the joy and pride of. I have ridden on dragons, outwitted darkness, eluded death a thousand times... I have saved lives, used magic, unraveled deadly secrets that could start wars... I have swum with the serpents, flown with the pegasi, howled with the wolves... I have stood upon the moon, fought in great battles, discovered new universes... I have relived long-gone lives, shaped new destinies, guided the paths of others... I have stepped into other worlds, become other creatures, experienced unimaginable things... I have lived through wars, living nightmares, the worst or tragedies... I have felt the joy, the pride, the elation of just--knowing. Knowing the fact that you will never learn what I have. And never have I moved a single inch,as long as I have read. Yet you claim that all of this is boring-- Boring, stupid, sad, uncool, and more. You say that this is something no one can like. And yet, here I stand, holding a book. FanFiction is a site for girls who are desperately in love with nonexistent guys FanFiction is a site for people who've compared their classmates to characters from books. FanFiction is a site for those of us who can't express themselves in life. FanFiction is a site for people who talk to themselves... a lot, even if it is in their head FanFiction is a site for people who laugh at jokes no one else gets. FanFiction is a site for people who get funny looks for reading in class. A lot. FanFiction is the site for people who admirer the guy who tries to be different. FanFiction is a site for people who say long words that nobody else understands. FanFiction is a site for people who aren't afraid to sit alone at lunch and read. FanFiction is a site for girls who don't need a guy to complete them. FanFiction is a site for people who ditched reality and went for something different. FanFiction is a site for people who hang onto dreams. FanFiction is a site for people who are different but don't care because they know that's who they are. I am a young girl who really refuses to believe that this is it. I refuse to believe that the world is doomed to war, like it looks like. I'm a girl who wishes every year on her birthday cake that there will be world peace, and who is always let down. I will give up things that will make me happy to make others happy. I am the one who thinks at night, that when i get older, if the world is still like this or worse, i wont want to bring a innocent life into a world of hate. I will do anything to make a better tomorrow, even if it killed me. I write so I don't have to think of the real world. I try to escape to my room whenever I can so I can cry myself to sleep. I am the one who would rather be in heaven the this sinking Earth. I am the one who lays down at night, wishing that I was dead. Letters the mailman forgot to deliver Dear Yahoo, I've never, ever heard anyone say, "I don't know, lets Yahoo! it." ...Just saying... Sincerely, Google Dear 6, Please stop spreading rumors about me eating 9. You shouldn't be talking. I hear you guys do some pretty nasty things. Sincerely,7 Dear Noah, We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving 'till 5. Sincerely, the unicorns Dear Twilight fans, Thank you for making us look sane and well adjusted. Sincerely, demigods Dear America, You produced Miley Cyrus. Justin Bieber is your punishment. Sincerely, Canada Dear impossible, Screw you. I just made a campfire under water. Sincerely, Spongebob Dear dreams, Please stop ending when i get to the good part. Sincerely, Sleeping People Dear parents, I am aware that money doesn't grow on trees. that's why I'm asking you. Sincerely, Child Dear Math, I'm not a therapist; go solve your own problems. Sincerely, Students Dear China, where do you dig your holes to? Sincerely, A Curios American Dear Lost Keys, Touche Sincerely, Lost Phone On Silent Dear kids, Just give the silly rabbit some Trix already! Sincerely, The Committee Of Compassionate People Worried About The Rabbit's Help Dear Cursed Black Hole At The Bottom Of My Backpack, Please stop eating my pens and pencils and homework. I kind of need those. Sincerely, Unprepared Student Dear slowest walkers in the world, Please do not form and impassible wall in front of me. Sincerely, Stuck Behind You And In A Hury Dear Dad, I think you took the "I got your nose" game a little too seriously. Sincerely, Voldemort I'm the first to admit this race had fallen. There was a time when a solemn handshake was an unbreakable vow of trust. Now even marriage is treated as though it is not sacred. Never kill yourself, no matter what. I'm no stranger to pain and suffering, that's for sure, and I have thought about doing it. But you shouldn't do it. You should save your soul. No matter what happens in life it is still sacred. it might not feel like it but it is. Fight. Even when your back's to the wall and your out of steam, you wouldn't let somebody stab you with a knife. So why would you let yourself do the same? it might feel good on the surface but it really isn't. it is not going to help you in anyway. "Oh, I may be on the side of the angels, but don't think for one second that I am one of them." "Life is passing me by, and it is really trying to run me over." "When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I wen to school they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down "happy". They told me I didn't understand the assignment. I told them they didn't understand life."-John Lennon "The only thing that is keeping me from being happy is reality." "Forget the risk; take the fall. If its what you want, its worth it all." "Those who laugh the most cry even more." "The loneliest people are the kindest. The saddest people smile the brightest. The most damaged people are the wisest. All because the do not wish to see others suffer the way they do." "People build walls not to keep others out, but to see who cares enough to break them down." "The most beautiful people we have known have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These people have an appreciation, a sensitivity, an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen." Elisabeth Kubler-Ross "Inner beauty, too, needs occasionally to be told it is beautiful."- Robert Brault "A heart is a fragile thing. That's why we protect them so vigorously, give them away so rarely, And why it means so much when we do. Some hearts are more fragile then others. Purer, somehow. Like crystal in a world of glass, even the way they shatter is beautiful." "If you die you are completely happy and somewhere your soul lives on. I'm not afraid of dying. Total peace after death, becoming someone else is the only hope I've got."- Kurt Cobain "Be the change that you wish to see in the world."- Mahatma Gandhi "Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that."-Martin Luther King Jr. "I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you can appreciate them when they go right, you believe lies so that eventually you learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so that good things can fall together."- Marilyn Monroe "It is better to be hated for what you are then to be loved for what you are not."- Andre Gide "It's all too much."- George Harrison "With our love we could save the world."-George Harrison "But in the end one needs more courage to live then to kill himself."- Albert Camus "Death is easy. To live is the most painful thing I could imagine and I'm weak and no longer willing to fight."- Hannah Wright "With every mistake, we must surely be learning."-George Harrison "You can only tell if something or someone is truly beautiful by looked at them when they are broken." "Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad."-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow "There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds."- Laurell K. Hamilton "I didn't want to wake up. I was having a much better time asleep. And that's really sad. It was almost like a reverse nightmare, like when you wake up from a nightmare your so relieved. I woke up into a nightmare."- Ned Vizzini "That's the thing about depression: A human being can survive almost anything, as long as she sees the end in sight. But depression is so insidious, and it compounds daily, that it's impossible to ever see the end."- Elizabeth Wurtzel "I don't want to see anyone. I lie in the bedroom with the curtains drawn and nothingness washing over me like a sluggish wave. Whatever is happening to me is my own fault. I have done something wrong, something so huge I can't even see it, something that's drowning me. I am inadequate and stupid, without worth. I might as well be dead."- Margaret Atwood "Listen to the people who love you. Believe they are worth living for even when you don't believe it. Seek out the memories that depression takes away and project them in the future. Be brave; be strong; take your pills. Exercise because it's good for you even if every step weighs a thousand pounds. Eat when food itself disgusts you. Reason with yourself when you have lost you reason."- Andrew Solomon "But in the end one needs more courage to live than to kill himself."- Albert Camus "There was a moment in my life when I really wanted to kill myself. And there was one moment when I was close to that...but even in my most jaded times, I had some hope."- Gerard Way "I am living in a nightmare, from which from time to time I wake in sleep."- Ursula K. Le Guin "It is not seen as insane when a fighter, under an attack that will inevitably lead to his death, chooses to take his life first. In fact, this act has been encouraged for centuries, and even now is seen as an honorable reason to do the deed. How is it any different when your under attack by your own mind?"- Emilie Autumn Lady Gaga taught me it's okay to be different Ke$ha taught me to be myself and not care what anyone else thinks Bruno Mars taught me to do anything for that one person i love Eminem taught me that life is hard but you can make it through Travis taught me how to be generous Taylor Swift taught me that ever guy/girl isn't going to treat me right. Micheal Jackson taught me to always love the people around me. Music taught me how to live 1) I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss. 2) Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda. 3) I will not give Hagrid Pokémon cards and convince him they're real animals. 4) I will not sing the Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin Quidditch matches. 5) When Death Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout "To the Batmobile, Robin!" 6) Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is simply coincidental. 7) I will not refer to the Weasley Twins as "bookends." 8) I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book. 9) I will not hold my wand in the air before I casting spells shouting "I got the power!" 10) I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue and call them smurfs. 11) I will not slip Malfoy a Love Potion in his morning goblet of Pumpkin Juice. 12) Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera. 13) I will not call Dumbledore "Santa Claus!" during the Christmas Holidays. 14) I will not put Muggle fairy book in the History section at the library. 15) I will not send Snape a bottle of shampoo for Christmas. 16) I am not allowed to tell Hufflepuffs there is no Santa Clause. 17) I am not allowed to refer to myself as the New Dark Lord. 18) I am not allowed to sneak into Professor Snape's private chambers to watch him sing I Will Survive in the mirror, as it is disturbing. 19) I am not allowed to steal Professor Flitwicks wand, hold it over my head, and laugh as he tries to reach it. 20) I will not replace Madam Pomfrey's Skele-Gro with pumpkin juice. 21) I will not replace Professor Snape's pumpkin juice with Skele-Gro. 22) I will not impersonate the Swedish Chef in Potions class. 23) The next time that I see Rita Skeeter, I am not to threaten her with a can of Raid. 24) I will not subvert the lock on the fourth-floor girls' bathroom and sell its location to first-years as "The Chamber of Secrets". 25) When applying for a post at the Ministry of Magic after graduation, I should not cite "Fred and George Weasley" as my greatest influence at Hogwarts. 26) Putting down "Lord Voldemort" is probably not best either. 27) A Muggle "vacuum cleaner" is not acceptable Quidditch equipment, even if it has been enchanted to fly. 28) Hogsmeade village is not "a wretched hive of scum and villainy." 29) I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I prophesied her death. 30) I will also not tell Professor Trelawney that I had a vision of her killing the Dark Lord. 31.) Sending rings to the nine senior faculty at Yuletide, with the return address "Voldemort", is not funny. 32) Insisting that the school acquire computers and network the buildings is a pointless request as they claim that a quill and parchment is sufficient. 33) Calling in the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists. 34) I may not have a private army. 35) I must not substitute chocolate-flavoured laxative for Professor Lupin's prescription-strength chocolate. 36) Nor am I to in any way substitute, alter, hide, or otherwise tamper with Professor Dumbledore's candy. 37) I am not the wicked witch of the west. 38) -I will not refer to Professor Umbridge as such either. 39) I will not melt if water is poured over me. 40) -Neither will Professor Umbridge. 41) I shouldn't use Photoshop to create incriminating photos of my house prefects or tutors. 42) I will not enchant the Golden Snitch to fly up the nearest fan's nose. 43) I do not know the Avada Kedavra curse, and pretending I do to people who annoy me is not funny, no matter how much they injure themselves diving for cover. 44) I will not test my Potions assignments by spiking Snape's drink with them. 45) - Especially not all of them at once. 46) I will not try to hock off my old piercings as "priceless Muggle artifacts." 47) I will not claim my X-Files tapes are "Auror Training Videos." 48) Professor Snape definitely does not have pointed ears, and under no circumstances is he to be addressed as 'Spock'. 49) I am not able to see the Grim Reaper, nor am I to claim that he is standing by the Headmaster, tapping an hourglass and looking at him impatiently. Or, for that matter, Harry Potter. 50) When being interrogated by a member of staff, I am not to wave my hand and announce 'These are not the droids you are looking for'. 51) Thestrals do not resemble the Muggle toys known as 'My Little Pony'. 52) The four Houses are not the Morons, the Borons, the Smarts and the Junior Death Eaters. 53) Despite my personal beliefs, Quidditch would not be improved by the introduction of Muggle firearms. 54) Though they are doubtless more athletic, battle-axes are not acceptable either. 55) I will not claim there is a prequel to Hogwarts, A History that explains about Bilbo Baggins. 56) I will not use the Marauder's Map for stalking purposes. 57) I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing. 58) I am not allowed to ask Professor Dumbledore if the size of his beard is 'compensating for something'. 59) I will not create a betting pool that Voldemort is Harry Potter's father. 60) Headmaster Dumbledore is of no relation to Willy Wonka. 61) Professor Snape's proper given name is not Princess Silvermoon Fairywing Glimmer McSparkles. 62) Harry Potter and Ron Weasley are not the magical equivalent of "Batman and Robin". 63) I will not play the Imperial March theme for Professor Snape. 64) However, when Lucius Malfoy visits, I may play it. 65) If I insist on carrying out my plans of producing "Riddle-de-dee: The Voldemort Musical", I will do so under a nom-de-plume. 66) I will not attempt to recruit the title character to play himself. Even if he looks good in tap shoes. 67) I should not refer to Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle collectively as "Team Rocket" either. 68) I am not allowed to discuss my theory that Voldemort is actually the second cousin of Sauron. 69) I am not a 'ninja sent here by Lord Voldemort to destroy Harry Potter' and should stop shouting this at meal times. 70) It’s not tasteful to approach Cho wearing a shirt that says "All The Good-Looking Ones Die Young" with a picture of Cedric Diggory on it. 71) I will not yell "Hey look! It’s Lord Voldemort!" at Hogsmeade. 72) I will not tease Voldemort about the time he needed his pink flowery teddy bear to comfort him when he had that bad, bad nightmare about Harry. 73) I will not charm a poster of Britney Spears on Draco's wall. 74) I am not allowed to begin each Herbology class by singing the theme song to “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.” 75) I will not call Professor McGonagall “McGoogle”. 76) I will not sing the entire Multiplication Rocks series during Arithmancy exams. 77) There is no such thing as the Chamber of Double Secret Probation. 78) My name is not “the Dark Lord Happy-Pants,” and I am not allowed to sign my papers as such. 79) Bringing fortune cookies to Divination class does not count for extra credit. 80) I will not douse Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak with lemon juice to see if he will become visible while wearing it and standing by the fire in the common room. 81) I will not tell first years they should build a tree house in the Whomping Willow. 82) I will not teach the house elves to impersonate Jar Jar Binks. 83) I will not give Gryffindors pixie sticks. 84) I am not allowed to refer to Susan Bones, Hannah Abbot, and Justin Finch-Fletchley as Blossom, Buttercup, and Bubbles. 85) A time turner is not a flux capacitator. I should therefore not try to install it in a Muggle car. 86) I shall not refer to DADA professors as canaries in a coal mine. 87) When fighting Death Eaters in the annual June good vs. evil fight, I will not lift my wand skyward and shout “There can only be ONE”. 88) A wand is for magic only, it is not for picking noses, playing snooker, or playing drums. No matter how bored I become. 89) It is generally accepted that cats and dragons cannot interbreed, and I should not attempt to disprove this theory no matter how wicked the results would be. 90) 42 is not the answer to every question on the O.W.L.S. 91) I am allowed to have a cat, rat, toad, or an owl. I am not allowed to have reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or piranha. 92) No matter how good an Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class. 93) I will not refer to the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor as Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak. 94) Dumbledore is not Gandalf, and the Triforce is not hidden in Hogwarts. 95) Do not confuse Aragorn, Eragon and Aragog. Ever. 96) I may not introduce Nagini to Indiana Jones. 97) Challenging Ron to a slug-eating contest is just mean. 98) Under no circumstances am I allowed to refer to Voldemort as "Baldy". 99) Even if he is. 100) I am not allowed to tell the first years to have a staring contest with the Basilisk. 101) I am prohibited from sprinkling glitter on Draco Malfoy, dying his hair, and call him Edward. 102) I am not allowed to sell Mrs. O'Leary to Hagrid. 103) I will not give Professor Lupin a collar as a Christmas or birthday present. 104) Saying "I think I 'taw a puddytat!" every time I see Professor McGonagall is most certainly NOT allowed. 105) Offering Voldemort a colonial-era powdered wig (complete with ponytail) will not amuse him and I am not allowed to do so, even if he needs a new hairdo. 106) I am not allowed to paint the school neon pink as the only person it will amuse is Professor Umbridge. 107) I must not introduce Voldemort to a psychiatrist as it is likely to result in him having a temper tantrum. 108) I am not allowed to introduce the Cullens to Professor Lupin. 109) I am not allowed to tease Professor Lupin about his 'time of the month'. 110) I shall not play match-maker for Voldemort on Valentine's Day because it will only make him cry when no one will go out with him because of his lack of hair. 111) I am not allowed to be a match-maker for Shelob and Aragog either. 112) I will not arrange a battle to the death between nine Hungarian Horntails and the Nazgul. 113) I will not scream, "HIS NAME IS EDWARD!" any time I hear the words Cedric Diggory. 114) I will not ask the centaurs if they know where Chiron is because I have found a demigod 115) I will not shout at dinner times that Darth Sideous is Voldemort's uncle, even if they do look alike. 116) I shall not try to persuade everyone that Percy Weasley's true name is Percy Jackson and he slays monsters with a pen for a living. 117) I will not sing 'I'm a Survivor' after the Battle of Hogwarts. 118) No matter how fun it looks, I will not stand on a table and do the Macarena at the Yule Ball. 119) Professor Lupin is not the magical equivlant of Wolverine and I am not allowed to address him as such. 120) Even if I'm bored, I am not allowed to ask Snape what the mysterious ticking noise is. 121) I will not dye Harry's hair pink or give him brown contacts, just because I am sick of black-haired, green-eyed heroes. 122) Whether they owe me money or not, I am not allowed to sneak into Fred and George's dorm at the dead of night to die their hair blond, spike it unreasonably high, then call them John and Edward in the morning. 123) I will not send Voldemort white robes for Christmas and claim he changed his name to, "Voldy the White." 124) And when he wears them, I am not allowed to run around Hogsmeade screaming, "AHHH! It's an albino Dementor!" 125) It is not tasteful to send Professor McGonagall a scratching post for Christmas. 126) Bringing a Magic 8 ball to Divination class will only get Professor Trelawney annoyed at your "lack of Inner Eye." 127) To which I am not allowed to reply. 128) I will not refer to the Accio charm as 'The Force'. 129) Nor am I allowed to have lightsaber fights with my wand and make whoosing noises. 130) "Because they both need to wash their hair" is not proof Professor Snape and Aragorn are related. 131) There is also no proof that Gimli and Flitwick are related and I am stop asking Flitwick if he's been swimming with any hairy women lately. 132) Singing 'Hungry Like The Wolf' in Professor Lupin's class is not a way to get extra credit. 133) I am not allowed to write on the wall in the Gryffindor Common Room, "I know where you live" or "I stole all your underwear!" 134) I am not allowed to replace the Bludgers with peas, tomatoes, plums or anything that is not a Bludger. 135) Portable swamps are not funny. 136) And I will not set off the above in Snape's sleeping quarters. 137) Or in the Slytherin's bathrooms. 138) In fact, I am not allowed to even buy portable swamps. 139) Harry Potter is not a Son of Poseidon and saying this every time I see him will only result in him filing a restraining order against me. 140) My patronus is not a Nazgul. 141) Neither is my animagus form. 142) "To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice. 143) It still is not appropiate, even if I have subsituted the flying monkeys with gummy bears. 144) I will not levitate everywhere in a big pink bubble. 145) My professors have neither the time, nor the inclination to hear about what I did with six boxes of Sugar Quills. 146) No part of the school uniform is edible. 147) Nor am I allowed to make any part of the school uniform edible. 148) I will not try to take house points from the first years for "being too goddamned short". 149) Especially as I am in no position of authority and Dumbledore would have to be heavily drugged before he would ever make me a prefect. 150) I am not allowed to wear singing holiday-themed ties and claim that they are officially part of my uniform. Especially not during June. 151) Luna Lovegood does not have pointed ears, nor is she to be addressed as 'Galadriel'. 152) Lucius Malfoy also does not have pointed ears, nor is he to be addressed as 'Haldir'. 153) I am not the reincarnation of Merlin. 154) I am not allowed to Accio the clothing of any person while they are wearing it. 155) I am to attend astronomy class and should stop yelling that aliens will abduct me if I do. 156) Hogwarts does not require a karaoke machine. 157) No matter how much I would enjoy watching Harry sing "Saturday Night." 158) "Defying my will" is not a crime worthy of life in Azkaban, and I should not tell that to the first-years. 159) I will not speak to Professor Snape with a Transylvanian accent. 160) Nor am I to ask if he is Carlisle Cullen's evil, unfortunate-looking twin. 161) I will not start a rumor saying that Professor Snape sings "I'm too sexy for my robes" while showering. Or for that matter doing any other activity. 162) Enchanting the Sorting Hat to sort new students into the House of Martok, or any other Klingon house is forbidden. 163) Voldemort does not wish to appear as the 'before' for a line of cosmetics. And no, he does not care how much money I make from it. 164) The Slytherin prefect is named Draco Malfoy, not "Rocky Horror". 165) Transfiguring Draco Malfoy's uniform into a gold thong is also inappropriate. 166) I will not attempt to determine whether Malfoy is a natural blond. 167) I will not sprend rumors that Legolas Greenleaf is his second cousin either. 168) Luna Lovegood is NOT always on "psychedelic mushrooms" and I should stop implying that she is. 169) The same goes for Professor Trelawney. 170) I will not get a tattoo of a smiley face on my arm and claim that it is the new Dark Mark. 171) I will not set my robes on fire to get out of potions. 172) I should not be a sports' commentator for Ron and Hermione's arguments. 173) Hogwarts does not need a "This many days since Harry has almost died" sign. 174) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball. 175) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office. 176) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter. 177) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show you the pointy hat trick. 178) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar. 179) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms" 180) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's tasteless, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy. 181) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month". 182) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand. 183) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot. 184) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, I will assume that I am not allowed to use it. 185) I will not lock the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive. 186) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast. 187) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day". 188) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways. 189) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor. 190) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort. 191) Even though he needs one. 192) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy. 193) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling. 194) It is not necessary to yell "BAM" every time I Apparate. 195) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways. 196) I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor shall I insist that their colors indicate that they're "covered in bees." 197) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge. 198) If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm. 199) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers. 200) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion. 201) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween. 202) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself too seriously. 203) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knights Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions. 204) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet. 205) I will not attack my fellow classmates. 206) I will not make an impossible riddle for people to give an answer to enter the Ravenclaw area. 207) When signing to all of these rules, I am not allowed to write in red ink and say that the Cullens lent me some grizzly bear blood Stolen from KJtheELMtree ΩΩΩΩΩ All credits of this beautiful speech goes to Nic-n'-Nyx. To all other young fiction authors out there. Copy and paste if you wish. It just needs to be said, and needs to be heard; You may be a reject. You may not be smooth with the spoken word. You may be the most popular kid in school. You may be the boss at your office. You may be short or tall or heavy or light or anorexic or white or dark or struck by an unfriendly label. You may be the homeless guy on the corner or the one inside the store signing books as you hand them out. You may listen to Justin Bieber or to Three Days Grace. But what you are is a writer; never doubt the power of what you can do. Tell me, what did you learn more from this year; the President, or the Hunger Games? The senator or Rick Riordan? The public speaker or Clarissa Fray? Your boss or Pi Patel? American Idol or the Twilight Saga? A list of facts or Harry Potter? Which of them stole the most of your time? Which is more well-known? It's the book. Every time. People fail to realize flaws in our society in their own lives, but they see it in District Twelve and in the Capitol. Books make clear what we can't see with the naked eye. Authors are the ones that speak to people's hearts. Writers are the ones people turn to for lessons and entertainment. It's been this way for thousands of years. We are the teachers of every child who opens a book. The themes we write are the themes they learn. We are there in every life, a quiet influence bound in a pretty cover, months' worth of work and reading, colored with imagery built around the lightning rod of an unforgettable plot line. A story spent months reading is memorable more than a speech listened to for just five minutes. I can't name all the leaders of the world right now, nor what they decide to preach about, but I can tell you all the characters from Percy Jackson, and every little thing they taught me. And they are things worth learning. So don't think there's a better way to make a point. Don't think there's a better way to reach your audience. Fiction stories have been striking the hearts of their readers farther back than anyone alive can remember. And striking the heart is what makes literature so different from everything else. Don't ever doubt your ability to show someone something new, to teach them a life lesson, or the importance of what you have to say. Say it in this foreign language everyone knows. Decorate it with characters and light it with sights and smells and sounds and touches and tastes and give it to the public gift-wrapped with your finest effort. Because I guarantee you, someone is bound to hear you clearer than they've heard anyone else before. I hope you've found some words of inspiration. The world needs it desperately. Do us all a favor, all you writers, and come out of hiding. We've had the greatest influence of all over people of the past, and as we act now, we are the ones influencing the future. We have more knives and pens than the BVB Army, more sway in society than the Senate, (whom we have proved this to before), more power than any celebrity you could name. I'm calling on you now. Rise up. I dare you to write something today that readers won't forget. I challenge you to make someone cry with one thin little page of text. I urge, no, I demand you to put something down on paper that'll be copied and produced and remembered for longer than Ancient Mythologies have been. I dare you to slam a revolving door*. I demand you to write a message in the folds of a book and watch how, in awe, people unwrap it. Watch your footprints stand bold against the falling snow and refuse to be covered. It is all possible, I assure you. You have no idea just what power you hold in a pen - or a keyboard - until you use it. And right now, the world needs you to use it more than ever. We, writers, have made history. We were the ones to record it. And that ability has not changed at all, just our awareness and will to use it. We were given the gift language and storytelling for a reason. This is that reason. It's calling. So ask yourself what message you want to send. Ponder about what you want to say. Because the world is listening to us above all other beings currently on this earth. Us, not the movies, not the official-labeled politicians, not the superstars. And it's our job to give it a story worthwhile. What's yours? ΩΩΩΩΩ Six truths in life 1. You cannot stick your tongue out and look up at the ceiling at the same time: a physical impossibility 2. All idiots, after reading this will try it 3. And discover that it's a lie 4. You are smiling now because you are an idiot. 5. You will soon post this on your profile for another idiot to see. 6. There is still a stupid smile on your face. I sincerely apologize about this but I am an idiot and i needed company =) If you count as an idiot, post this onto your profile! You Know You're a Book Addict If: You can randomly open to a page and know exactly what's going on. (YES!) You write fanfictions about the book. (Why am I on this sight then?) You try to get all of your friends (and everyone else) to read your favorite books. (Hades yeah!) You accidentally call everyone by the character's names. Everything reminds you of the book.(Definitely!) You quote random lines all the time.(Most of the time) You try to do things that the characters do, even though you know you can't. (Yeah.) You've gotten incredibly bored in class, and debated on doing something your favorite character can do to escape the class. (That's a great idea! I know what to do during class now!) You have pictures of your favorite characters on your iPod. (That is like, one of the most important part about being a Fangirl/boy!) You've got a book memorized. (Yep! :)) You've read a book more than five times. (Duh! I mean, HoH is like 500 and something pages long (I feel ashamed not to know the number :()) You've read a book with 400 pages in less than two days. (Yep!) You've planned and prepared a siege on a writer's house because he/she killed a character you like. (...WHO TOLD YOU!) You've plotted to murder a character and steal her boyfriend. (At the moment Nico and Leo don't have girlfriends-does that count?) You hate it when someone calls your favorite character fictional. (Yes!) You blatantly deny it when someone calls a character fictional. (ALWAYS!!!) I am a book addict and proud of it!!! If you are one too, copy and paste this on your profile. (Posted before House of Hades) ΩΩΩΩΩ Remember when: HP was just a printer. FOUR was just a number. SUGAR CUBES were just something you put in your tea. You didn't care about ANCIENT GREECE/ROME/EGYPT. SHIPS were just big boats. LOOK AT YOU NOW. if you can relate, copy and paste this onto your profile. and add your name to this list: ihatejasongrace, PjoHoOFan, ChristianCountryGirl ΩΩΩΩΩ P- Powerful E- Energetic R- Rambunctious C- Clever Y- Young J- Joyful A- Amazing C- Confident K- Kind S- Stupendous! O- Optimistic N- Noble PJO fans need to have this on their profile ΩΩΩΩΩ You Know You’re Obsessed With Percy Jackson When… You go to the Empire State Building and ask for the 600th Floor. There’s a thunderstorm going on and you scream, “CALM DOWN, ZEUS!” Every time you use the Internet, you thank Hermes. When you see Harry Potter, you think of Percy with glasses. When you see an owl, you go, “Hi Athena!” You go on a cruise and you hope the boat isn’t the Princess Andromeda. You’re on a boat and you pray that Poseidon is in a good mood. Bring a blue plastic hairbrush with you everywhere. When it gets really cold randomly, blame Kronos. You get a Greek mythology calendar for Christmas. You don't read anything but PJO for three months. You've gone to Google maps and looked up Camp Half-Blood’s address. Even though not diagnosed, you claim you have ADHD or dyslexia and blame it on your godly parent. You yell "Annabeth!" every time you see a NY Yankees hat. Anytime you see an orange shirt, you look at the front of it to see if it's a Camp shirt. You are a PJO character for Halloween. Recite lines randomly from the books. When you see/hear about anything myhtology-related, you talk about how it was in PJO (what page, book, etc.) and what happened to it. You are going to the Camp Half-Blood in Texas. You claim that Percy IS real and lives in New York no matter how much your friends argue with you. You have dreams about PJO characters/events. You carry a ballpoint pen in your pocket. Every time you pick up a pen, you think it'll turn into a sword. Whenever your internet slows down, you yell at the sky and say "HERMES! WHY DO YOU LOVE ANNOYING ME?!" At the beginning of your first History class, you burst out, "Will we be studying Greek mythology?!" You pretend to (or actually) faint when someone asks "Who's Percy?" When someone mentions the name Percy (like Percy Weasley) you (mentally) scream "JACKSON!" You are known to scream names of the characters at random times. You've got a copy of one of the books at all times in case of emergency. You pray to Athena when you don’t study for a math test. And when you flunk said test, you blame her irritation on Percabeth. When you steal your friend's pen you believe it's justified because your dad is the god of thieves, and you thought it was Riptide and had to check to make sure Percy was still alive. You write PJO fanfiction constantly, even when you're not at your computer. When your mom grounds you from the computer, you blame it on a combination of Nemesis, Hera and Hermes' little joke. You want Hephaestus to fix your iPod when it breaks. You give all your friends godly parents. You spend time doing pointless research, just because Rick Riordan linked it on his site. You think Percy's extended family needs extensive therapy. You want Kronos buried under Witchita, Kansas, in a safe deposit toothpick box. No one will ever look there, and hopefully he'll be too tiny to bother the locals. You blame your little brother's desire to turn off your Internet in the middle of this review on Hermes' anger that you've joked about all of them. You imagine random unwritten PJO moments during class and laugh. When one brave soul unaware of your obsession broaches the question of why you were laughing, you try to explain. They think you are nuts because you are laughing at Hades' wild card of Nico. You go on YouTube and look at PJO themes for characters. You read page 287 of BotL over and over again or say the lines in your head. Your Internet homepage is Rick Riordan's blog. You crack up if anyone mentions the word Canada or Canadians. You get other people obsessed. You spend most of your time thinking what will happen in Boo. You know exactly what someone means when they say LT, SoM, TC, BotL, TLT, SoN, TLH, MoA, and PJO and use it in conversations. When someone dies, you give them a sack of red rubber balls for Cerberus. Every time you see a guy in a wheelchair you think "Chiron!” You find yourself saying things like "Oh my gods!" and "What the Hades?" When you burn yourself, you curse Hephaestus. You go up to a teacher in a wheelchair and say, "I know who you really are, Chiron…" You checked to make sure your principal doesn’t have a tail. You know which pages the good parts are on. You suddenly hate thunderstorms. You start hearing Percabeth in every song you hear. You started calling your dog Mrs. O’Leary. You start figuring out who your godly parent is (Hades or a titan) You never looked at a ballpoint pen the same way again. You ask the cashier at the store if they stock Mythomagic cards. You start doing pro/con lists in your head. During Math. When you’re supposed to be taking notes. When the three-month countdown starts, you check every fansite you know of every day for new information. You try to figure out how much food dye you need to turn chocolate chip cookies blue. (Four drops for every three cookies) You make references to it in school reports and/or to friends that haven’t read it. The first thing you ask someone when you meet them is, “Have you read PJO?” You know PJO better then most sane people. You add things to the list every day. You know what you would do if you were Percy. You wish you could find a rainbow to see if Iris messages work. (Although I don't have a golden drachma.) You're trying to learn Greek. You think of Percy every time you see a dark-haired green-eyed boy. You have a crush on Nico. You just have to research more about Greek mythology. You want to learn Latin. You have one or more things related to PJO on your school stuff, and if someone asks you why, you tell them. You call yourself a demigod. You wish with every fibre of your being that the first page of The Lightning Thief told the truth, and the PJO series is real. You’re nodding and smiling when you read this. You are planning on adding a lot more things to this list. You copy/paste this onto your profile. ΩΩΩΩΩ I DONT CARE WHAT They’re GOING TO SAY! LET THE RUMOR RAGE OOOOOON...THE DARK NEVER BOTHERED ME ANYWAYS" "I survived 9-11, Ice Storm 08, and Swine 09. Doomsday 2012? BRING IT ONNNNN!" -Facebook "Be yourself, everyone else is taken." The following statement is true: The previous statement is false Now I'm confused I just think these are worth remembering (scenes from other fanfictions): Exorcists Hollows and Time Warps Oh My!: Miranda looked over at the Time Record, which was still glowing, and watched as it suddenly deactivated. Then she ran screaming towards Komui's office to tell him of the strange occurrence. Unfortunately, she would get hopelessly lost, wind up at Kanda's room about four times, ask Kanda for directions ten times, and finally wind up at Komui's office through pure dumb luck. Of Kings and Pawns: The brunet shook his head and frowned as he pointed a shaking finger towards the immortal witch, who didn't seem offended by the rude gesture. "You," he began as he continued to point, "start making sense, right now!" My Watermelon Candy: "Explain to me again why I'm cooking?" Hitsugaya stood on a step stool, frilly pink apron reading "I'm with stupid" tied onto his slight form. Holding his face precariously over a bubbling red sauce, he tossed a pinch of herbs into the pot. "Cause! I got a promotion so we're celebrating!" Yachiru grinned at him from the table in his living room at the Squad 10 barracks. "How much longer? For the Seretei's sake, it's just spagetti and meatballs." "Shut up!" Hitsugaya head snapped over his shoulder. "It's harder than it looks!" Ice crept onto the handle of the ladle he was holding, forcing him to bang it on the countertop, shattering both the ice and the ladle. "Damn it, not another one! Anyway, how did you get promoted? You didn't take the captain's exam or anything!" Yachiru simply smiled at him, her teeth eerily reminiscent of fangs. "You obviously forgot who killed Aizen in the Winter War." For a while the pair delved into silence as disturbing mental images of Yachiru killing Aizen zoomed around Hitsugaya's now-teenage mind. A look of sheer terror slowly crept onto his usually stoic face. "You, know, we can always call Big Boobies to help you cook," Yachiru said, snapping Hitsugaya out of his day-nightmare. "Don't even think it!" Sure enough, Matsumoto peeked her head around the corner. "Captain Hitsugaya!" She squealed, "You're cooking! Let me help you!" Hitsugaya was immediately ejected to the table, apron flying off him in the process, and resigned himself to watching Matsumoto furiously add oddly colored ingredients to the pot. As the iron pot began to melt, so did Yachiru's patience. "Where's the food?" She cried, folding her arms. "Just a minute, Captain Kusajishi!" "That is not my name!" Matsumoto turned, staring at the young girl, perplexed. "Uh, what is your name, then?" She stuttered. "I'm Captain Yachiru!" The girl banged her hands on the table. "Cap-tain Ya-chi-ru!" Matsumoto smiled, turning back to her creation. "Of course. Sorry, Captain Yachiru." Hitsugaya rested his chin on his hands hands, frowning. "That isn't proper," he grumbled. Yachiru grabbed the corners of his mouth, forcing them upwards. "You're such a prude, Snowy! No wonder you have old hair!" Leaning over, she settled onto his shoulder and closed her eyes. "Wake me up when there's food..." she mumbled, yawning. "Knowing Matsumoto's cooking there won't be food." Hitsugaya growled under his breath, stuck in an uncomfortable position by the sleeping girl on his shoulder. Seeing that Matsumoto was in full destruction "cooking"mode, he laid down, allowing Yachiru's pink head to slip onto his chest. Just as he began to drift into unconsciousness, a shrill voice sliced into his ears. "So this is why you wouldn't come to lunch with me? So you can lie around with little pests and wait for your lieutenant to explode the kitchen?" Hitsugaya sat up, knocking Yachiru onto his lap. Hinamori stood before him, her eyes - no, her whole face shooting daggers into his skull. Tears dripped onto the floor, her eyes clouding over. "How... could you?" "M-Momo! It's not like that!" Well, he couldn't argue that the second part wasn't true, but... "Well I don't see any other way it could be!" Tears were now flowing down her cheeks, her eyes growing red and puffy. "You know, he can have other friends." Yachiru's eyes were open, her head still dormant on Hitsugaya's lap. "You woke me up," she added, stating the obvious. With that, she got up and yawned, looking expectantly at Hitsugaya. "What?" "Where's the food?" "What?" "I told you, wake me up when there's food. So you woke me up. Where's my food?" "I didn't wake you up! Talk to Hinamori instead!" Yachiru turned her red gaze to her new lieutenant. "Lieutenant Hinamori!" "Yes?" Was the grumbled response. "Food! Now!" Hinamori bit her tongue, stopping herself from yelling. "Forgive me... Captain Kusajishi. I have no food with me." Yachiru frowned, crossing her arms. "Well, then, if no one has food..." "Lunch is served, everyone!" Matsumoto swept over to the table with a large plate of bubbling purple gel, sizzling through the glass platter. "U-uh, you know, I really need to get back to the Squad 5 barracks! Lot's of paperwork!" Hinamori scrambled towards the door. "Oh no you don't!" Matsumoto shrieked, diving and grabbing the unfortunate girl's ankle. "I slaved over this dish! You eat!" As the four soul reapers sat down, Hitsugaya took a moment to seal a small envelope, tucking it into the fold of his hakama pants. "What's that, Snowy?" "My will." Change One Side, Change The Story: He then began bouncing his body up and down with the beat and bobbing his free hand as if he wanted everyone else to dance with him, which no one did; "Did you know he could sing?" Kisuke asked to Kusaka, to which the raven haired young man looked at him and shook his head; "I didn't even know he could talk properly." Order of the Shinigami: I read Kisuke's letter, which made me grin. He had reported on the update while including several useless comments such as, "As far as I know, this will tell you where the Horucruxes are. It's almost complete now, it just needs some adjusting. I've tested all of Ichigo Kurosaki's family and friends with it, so I can guarantee that it doesn't go off for Quincy, Human-Somethings, Shinigami or Whatever-The-Hell-Kurosaki-Is." Order of the Shinigami: Ron got a little bit of a nervous look on his face, "Does teachers from Japan always do things like that?" "Like what?" "Spring surprise attacks on their students?" I thought about that. Kurosaki Ichigo ran for his life while Urahara chased him across the room, waving his sword and shooting of blasts with his shikai. Kurosaki had just wanted to learn how to control his reiatsu and perform basic kido to pay back Kuchiki, but Urahara had felt the need to teach him how to deal with shikai attacks. It was my first week in the Tenth Squad. People had said Captain Kurosaki liked to surprise the new recruits, but I had ignored them. That morning Isshine-Taicho had jumped through the window above my bed in the squad bunks. "GOOOOOOOOOD MORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNING NEEEEEEEEEEEEW RECRRRRRRRRRRRRUITS!" he bellowed, coming straight for me. I lunged at him instinctively, not realizing who he was. "Good God!" I roared, throwing a punch that sent him flying into the wall, "Who the hell does sneak attacks at four in the fucking morning? Are you insa-" then I realised who he was, "Oh. Shit. Deepest apologies, Kurosaki-Taicho." I bowed to him and he stood up grinning. "No worries, I liked that response. Nice to see my new Squad members are in shape." He ruffled my hair before walking out of the room. A few minutes later one could hear him shouting, "GOOOOOOOD MORRRRRNING SEEEEEEEEEEEEECOND YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAR RECRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUITS!" Abarai Renjii had made the mistake of sleeping in Urahara's shop one night too long. Yoruichi Shihoin decided it was time for him to wake up and cook breakfast. By drop kicking him through three walls and a door into the kitchen. When the Vaizards had told Ichigo they would train him, I don't think he realised that they meant they would train him twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. I'll admit, I thought it was pretty funny when Shinjii jumped him- sword drawn and mask on- right as Kurosaki walked out of the shower. Kurosaki, he didn't think it was as funny. I had thought staying over at the Kurosaki's house when I was in on a short trip to Karakura town seemed like a good idea. Rukia was in the Soul Society, and the closet bed was free. I left the door open because every once and a while Kurosaki would ask something about the Soul Society and I got tired of opening and closing the door to respond. And then, at four in the morning, like a repeat of my worst nightmares, I heard, "GOOOOOD MORRRRRNING, ICHIGOOOOOOO!" Prophecies and Missions: Ami was immediately by his side and briefly looked up to see the entire Weasley family, plus Hermione and the other four Soul Warriors standing in the doorway. Ami looked back to Sirius and Snape, who both had shocked look on their faces. In between the two was no longer Harry, but Toushirou, who had a sword out and pointed at Snape, while his other hand was pointed and Sirius 0and ready for any type of nonverbal kidou spell. "Oh, dear, put that thing away!" Mrs. Weasley exclaimed. "It's not safe!" Ichigo stopped her. "Which is why you shouldn't interfere." He and Renji knew exactly what was going on. Toushirou was stopping an idiotic, useless argument by sheer force. Prophecies and Missions: "Sorry you had to see that," Toushirou said, still calm and quiet. Minako leaned over to Hermione and Ron and whispered, "That's either his I'm-calm-now-tone or his I'm-on-the-verge-of-blowing-a-gasket-tone. So watch out." Hogwarts Bound: "Isn't this exiting? No one in my family is magical at all. It was such a surprise when I got my letter, but I was glad of course. Form what I've heard Hogwarts is the best school of witchcraft there is. What about you? Is anyone in your family magical? Of course not, otherwise you wouldn't need Professor McGonagall to help you. Then who is the man with you, he doesn't look like your related, and Professor McGonagall called you different names?" She finished with a confused look. Hitsugaya looked at her wondering what to make of this girl. She was waiting for an answer, and he was ordered to blend in, which meant he could not be an ass to everyone he met. "His name is Kisuke Urahara. He is my guardian." The Mystery of Hogwarts (DISCONTINUED): Hitsugaya growled as he recalled the event... It couldn't be! It was Kenpatchi-taichō speeding out of the horizon on his feet. There was also two people hang on his back shouting 'RUN FASTER KENNY!!' After a few minutes they were now a half a mile away from him then the people of the poor Captain's back shouted 'look it's Shiro-kun stop kenny!!' Kenpatchi-taichō skid to a halt to quickly making on of the riders on his back to fling off and like a missile blast towards him "TOTO-KUN!!!"... The Dead of Winter: They'd been assigned a project that consisted of gazing into their crystal balls and writing down all that they saw. On the taicho's paper it simply read different forms of the same word: fog, smoke, vapour, clouds and it continued like that for the entire table he'd had to draw out. Divination was the one class that he let himself relax in. While he might not use what he learned in the other courses ever again at least he was still actually learning something. Divination consisted of, 'gaze into the crystal ball/tea leaves/palm of your partner and behold!' Well all he 'beheld' was smoke, fog, vapour, clouds and so on. On other days he'd written down: wet foliage, damp leaves, contours of skin, grooves in flesh…really if the course continued in such a manner he was going to run out of ways to rephrase things. There were only so many ways you could say smoke and he was running through them rather quickly. Maybe if he invested in a thesaurus he could buy himself some more time… "Mr. Hitsugaya, are you even listening to me?!" He opened his eyes to find a red faced Trelawney staring down at him, "I'm sorry Professor I was lost in thought for a moment." She glared before sighing, "Yes well, you don't seem to be participating in today's lesson." "I've completed today's assignment already Professor." The woman gave him a disbelieving look before she snatched up his paper and read through the boxes all filled with singular words, "But- but all you've done is rewrite the same thing over!" He took the paper from her boney grip, "I think you'll find that nothing is repeated." She went from red, to redder, "But they're all Synonyms!" "Your point?" The bug resembling Professor spluttered for a moment before getting up and simply walking away as she continued to mutter to herself. Neville took the paper from his friend, "She's right," he said after a moment "All you did was rewrite the same thing a different way!" He continued to glance down the list before grabbing some of the parchment from the day before, "…I didn't know there were so many ways to say wet leaves." "Oh, you'd be surprised." Paternal Instinct: Robin's soft cackle echoed. "My daddy's going to killl yooouuuu..." Robin sang. Then the glass shattered. YJ "I gotta say, the lightshow was my favourite part." Robin rubbed his raw wrists to soothe them (damn, being cuffed to a table for hours still hurt no matter how many times villain's subjected him to it) as he grinned up at Batman, who merely cocked an eyebrow at him, scowling. But Robin had learned to tell the difference between I'm-scowling-in-disappointment, I'm-not-consciously-scowling-this-is-my-default-face and the softer I'm-scowling-to-hide-my-amusement. And this was definitely the latter. Robin could practically hear Batman's mental sigh as the man trussed up the unconscious criminals. "It wasn't smart to aggravate them, Robin," he berated, securing their wrists behind their backs. "What was I supposed to do for hours, twiddle my thumbs? Crochet?" "Distressed criminals are dangerous." "Psh. Please. They were too scared to do anything in case you decided to put their lungs in a pickle jar and keep it on the shelf." Batman's I'm-scowling-to-hide-my-amusement expression intensified as he straightened up. Rich and Henry's heads lolled; Henry groaned, and Rich's left hand still trembled. "They were guarding those drugs for a reason, probably a sale. They'll be awake at any moment. I'll interrogate. Station yourself on the roof and keep an eye out for their customers." Robin - belt, gauntlet and equipment now retrieved and back on his person - nodded and moved to leave, but halted when something occurred to him. "One sec." Batman narrowed his eyes in confusion as Robin rustled around the nearby desk for a few moments before producing a red marker, then striding over to Rich and Henry and adorning their necks with two red dots each. "For good measure," Robin answered Batman's searching look with a cackle, popping the pen cap back on. Blood Stained Hands: Dick and Wally had been playing basketball at Wayne Mansion when Dick suddenly stopped, a far-off look on his face. "Dick, what's up?" Wally asked as he shot a basket, eyeing Dick out of the corner of his eye. "My Bat-Sense is tingling," Dick murmured as a light spring breeze went through his hair. Wally chuckled and muttered to himself "I knew that he had a Bat-Sense. I just knew it." Dimensional: He wasn't seeing things, the world wasn't spinning and he wasn't collapsing or seeing old, faded memories. Eventually, he had just screamed "screw you" to life, right in the face, and then punched him in the gut and walked away. He decided that he would eat, even if it involved stealing. Of course, he'd been conflicted about it. He shouldn't have left his body get to such a low point. He blamed it on his own sick pride. He didn't want to betray Batman's trust, even if Batman didn't know about it. But maybe that was how he showed his love, even it was from such a far distance. Still, he felt as if he would be betraying his trust just because he was in an alternate universe with no one that he wanted to turn to, didn't mean he had to steal. Well, that's when he punched life in the gut and walked way, leaving Life on the sidewalk bleeding from his mouth. Though, this might have just been a dream of a guy with a white shirt with the word "life" sprawled across it that was trying to giving him lemons on the sidewalk. The guy was really annoying… and overly joyful about the lemons. So Dick may have imagined punching him in the face and yelling "screw you and your lemons". Three views, one plot: Odd jumped into the air with shock. He was in an unknown place, with someone he most likely didn't know and possibly in a country he had never been to. At least that he could remember. His family did do a lot of traveling when he was very young. So he didn't remember exactly where all he had been. Or all the places he had been left behind at either. Surprisingly enough that was almost as many places he had been. Move Along: "Great." The Dark Knight of Bludhaven smiled, "Now, if your anger management issues get anyone on the team injured or killed, you'll regret it. If Robin is seriously injured in any mission you happen to take the team on, I will slit your throat with a Kryptonite scalpel. Okay?" Keep in mind, Nightwing said this with a smile, which scared Conner even more than it should've. Forget the fact that the clone was almost twice the size of the bird, he would've shit himself even if it were the thirteen-year-old he knew so long ago. "Okay." Conner said. "Great. Now, if you need anything, I'll be holed up in my apartment for the next week or so, looking at dead bodies and hissing at my girlfriend when she wants me to leave the house or opens the curtains to let the sun in." Conner nodded. "See you guys later!" Nightwing said as he and Zatanna left the warehouse. Blue Bird: Canary lunged with a well placed jab, which Nightwing easily blocked and flipped away from Canary before she could follow it up with a kick. She pivoted to keep her eyes on Nightwing as he hit the ground and made to sweep her legs out from under her. She dodged the attack and returned with a feint to the left followed through with a powerful right hook, but Nightwing anticipated the movement and blocked by catching Canary's fist and flipping her over his shoulder. Canary avoided hitting the floor and brought Nightwing over with her. He too managed to avoid the floor and made a jab for Canary's ribs, causing her to release his wrist so he could circle around and deliver a kick to the back of her knees. Canary hit the floor and the computer announced with a mundane finality; "Black Canary; fail." Nightwing held out a hand and Canary took it, allowing the man to pull her to her feet; "Nice move." She said, "Where'd you learn it?" Nightwing frowned slightly; "That particular one was a variation on a basic form used by most professional assassins to immobilise opponents. I learnt it in Bludhaven from a student of mine who then proceeded to throw two feet of lead piping at my head." Camp is for Regular People: "Lets talk about this tomorrow. It's been a long day." They arrived at the cabin, and Megan went in after saying goodnight. Artemis paused in the door. "Wally...?" "Yeah?" He turned back around. "Just...you know, be careful." Artemis stood awkwardly, and then turned and went in side. But not before she heard Wally say softly: "You too." "Hey, what about me?" Dick asked. "Dude, you're a ninja." The Girls of Gotham Academy: She glared up at Wally, which was quite hard considering her current position of upside down on the couch watching some survival show that was teaching her how to survive in the caves in Romania Psh like she'll ever need that. "I want a grape," she tried again. "You'll choke on it." "I will put my foot in your face." "No you won't-Jesus Christ! Get that thing away from me." She totally had to thank Dick for that list of things Wally is scared of. The list was topped with feet and she was so going to take advantage of that; compared to the other things on the list, it was the most accessible. That is unless the zoo will let her rent a walrus (note to future Artemis: ask Dick for money for walrus). She snorted out a laugh as he pushed her foot out of his face and made her sit up right. The sudden vertigo caused her a bit of confusion—note: it is not fun having the world flipped at super human speed. As she steadied herself she turned to look at Wally and he looked back her like he had just won a medal or something glorious like that. "Will you feed me a grape now?" And he deflated just as fast. She smirked—her job was done here. He reluctantly threw her a grape, and she plopped it in her mouth. "Loser." "Artemis, report to the mission briefing room." She nearly choked on her grape. The booming voice over the intercom had shaken her a bit. It was usually Team report to mission briefing room or Aqualad report to mission briefing room or Robin you're going to break that. It was never Artemis. Oh God what did she do? Wally snorts, "See you later, loser." 10 facts about you I'm SKINNY so i must be anorexic. I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat. I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world. I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life. I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention. I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer. I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat. I HANG OUT with teenage DRINKERS AND SMOKERS, so I MUST smoke and drink too. I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled. I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak. I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend. I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare. I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST. I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick I go to RENFAIRES so I MUST talk weird ,be a loser , and not be up with the times |
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