T713 the new Mrs.JasperW.Hale Poll: who gets in the way of Zoey in the house of night series james or heath or is it both pelase vote so my friend and i can stop arguing and plesae vist this profile it is james stark and thank your vote really does count. do not let the names of people who Vote Now! |
 Author has written 12 stories for Twilight, and Hetalia - Axis Powers. pics for 1 Truth or Dare Cullen Mayhem go to this link and pm me about the video you see i want you to wach all of it even when you want to look away also print and give these out and " src= "" alt="Cooking Mama, The Unauthorized peta2 Edition: Mama Kills Animals" border="0" height="300" width="400" / coppy everything then paste in to you url broser this is a fun game " src="" width=102 height=102 border=0 copyand pased this to into your url broser to get a free cookie see i keep my promises I've been diagnosed with OCD (Obbsessive Cullen Disorder), OJD (Obsessive Jasper Disorder), OVD (Obbsessive Vampire Disorder), and OMCD (Obsessive Mythical Creatures Disorder). You think your life sucks? Well, I'm in love with a 165 year old, non-existent vampire named JASPER HALE "Join the Vampires; we have Jasper Whitlock Cullen Hale." Crap, that's a lot of last names. Jasper Hale! I love you! Oops! Did I say that out loud? Emmett's the Strongest, TEAM JASPER WITLOCK HALE!! Emmet = Big Teday Bear Edward = Simply Dazzaling Jasper = Walking Chill Pill Emmet Cullen: Stronger Than You since 1916 Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies since 1843 Alice Cullen: Quirkier than You since 1901 Rosalie Hale: Prettier Than You since 1916 Edward Cullen: Sexier Than You since 1901 promise to remember Bella, Each time I carelessly fall down And I promise to remember, Edward Whenever I'm out of town I promise to obey traffic laws, For Charlies sake of course And I promise to remember Jacob, When my heart fills with remorse I promise to remember Carlisle, Whenever I am in the emergency room And I promise to remember Emmett, Everytime there's a huge boom I promise to to remember Rose,Whenever I see something that holds pure beauty And I promise to remember Alice, When I'm at a mall and a cute outfit spots me I promise to remember Nessie, When I see that beautiful bronze hair And I promise to remember Esme, When someone tells me they care I promise to remember Jasper, Whenever my stomach isn't curled And I promise to remember the Volturi, When someone speaks of dominating the world Yes, I promise to love Twilight, Wherever I may go So that all may see my obsession, Because I know what the Twilighters know well lets see things you should know about me 1. i my gasillion nicknames and ex nicknames is gasillion ever a number oh well nikki, aschey,heath,jasper,alice,nickfriend,naj,jan and now my ex's loren, and elliot see i have alot 2. i love twilight and JASPER HALE 3. i love animals and canot stand to see an amimal in pain 4. my fave color is black ps im not emo or gothic 6. i love the twilight, house of night, curk de freek, the canonicals of Vladamir Todd series and my fave book my sisters keeper it really good 7. i play percussion at my school and am the only girl who does that I'm trying to prove that even a girl can pay the drums and its harder than it looks with all the notes you have to learn and memorise it can get pretty confusing 8. i cant spell that well, but i try my best and never give up 9. i hate people who judge people by how they look I'm a blond but I'm far from being dumb and I'm a nerd so what i a good looking nerd to and no i will not date any of you sorry 11. i love all tipes of music except for classical ugg i can not stand it 12.did you notice that there is no #5 or 10 13. did you you look back up to see if it was there i know you did 14. i love to build and paint 15. i want to be a vet or a Marine biologist or the president because i want the world to know a girl can run this country to and it has been done before when no one knew so why should it make a difference if they do know 16. i would like to thank you for taking time to read all this. If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, copy this into your profile If you can't stand stupid girls copy and paste this onto your profile If you are planing world domination (most of us are) then copy and paste this onto your profile If you are unconditionally and irrevocably in love with Twilight copy and paste this on to your profile If you can just never type fast enough copy and paste this onto your profile 92 percent of the teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said that it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Put this in your profile if you're part of the 8 percent that would be laughing your butt off. If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile If you have ever had a thumb war with yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are against drunk driving please copy this onto your profile If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile. If you are addicted to vampires, post this onto your profile. If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile. If, for no reason, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile If you truly believe, there is an Edward Cullen somewhere for you (Doesn't mean his name has to be Edward Cullen or is a vampire but it would be a really awesome perk), copy this into your profile. If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volterra" to your computer's dictionary. If you have done just that, copy this into your profile. (And multiple other Twilight words. Volturi, Carlisle, Irina, etc.) If you are absolutely in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional charater Edward, from twilight, copy and paste this into your profile 98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile. If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile. Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile. i could care less to be honest If you think that Alice and Jasper make a cute couple, copy and paste this into your profile. If you couldn't possibly survive without your type of music, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile. SIGNS WHICH SHOW YOU LOVE JASPER HALE 1. You giggle whenever you see Jasper written in any book or shown in a movie. 2. You have learnt by heart the meaning of Jasper in the Oxford dictionary - A reddish brown quartz. 3. You cry when you listen to songs which depict the past life of Jasper, before Alice. 4. You have slight jealousy towards Alice, because you feel you deserve him more. 5. You have watched many Civil War movies. 6. You call your boyfriend "Major". 7. You pay attention in History class when teaching about the Civil War. 8. You try to speak in a Southern Accent. 9. You call your friends darlin'. 10. You show off the crescent shaped scars you received from your brother/ sister and go around saying, "Jasper gave me a love bite" 11. You love hailstorms because they rhyme with the Halestorms which Jasper Hale creates in your heart. 12. You officially change your surname to Hale. 13.You write Jasper everywhere you find, even in your notebooks. 14. You try to use empathic powers on people (to no effect, unfortunately). 15. You always feel lusty whenever you think of Jasper at night. 16. You always blush when somebody calls you Mrs. Whitlock. 17. You dream fluffy scenes with Jasper I ALSO LOVE THE CIRQUE DU FREEK,HOUSE OF NIGHT,NIGHT WORLD,AND TWILIGHT SERIES (if only Any of them could be real =( oh well we cant have everything now can we) my fave. jasper quotes "I can feel what you're feeling right now,you're worth it." " you held out your hand and i took it without making sence of what i was doing for the first time in almost a centurie i felt hope." Jasper Whitlock Hale,Twilight Jasper Whitlock Hale,Eclipse i love all things twilight and jasper if i could change the quote "So the lion fell in love with the lamb" it would be "So the cat fell in love with the fox" i got the idea from a pic. i found on photo bucket.com here is the link i dont care that some of these repeat BEST FRIENDS N FRIENDS: FRIENDS:never ask anything to eat or drink BESTFRIENDS: Help themselves and is the reason you never have any food FREINDS:Call your parents M. Mrs and grandma and grandpa BESTFRIENDS: Call your parents MOM and DAD GRAMS AND GRANDPA FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail BESTFRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying DAMN we screwed up FRIENDS: Will pick out a cute chick-flick to watch with you on movie night BESTFRIENDS: Will pick out "The Ring" for movie night then scare you and himself/herself in the process FRIENDS: Never seen you cry BESTFRIENDS: Wont tell anyone else you cry... just laugh about it when your not down anymore FRIENDS: Meet your boy/girl friend and say nice to meet you BESTFRIENDS: Meet your boy/girl friend and scare the BLEEP out of him/her by threatening to break every bone in him/her's body if he/she hurts your bestfriend FRIENDS: Will say you can do better BESTFRIENDS: Will call him and say"you have seven days to live" FRIENDS: Ask why you're crying BESTFRIENDS:Already have a shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry FRIENDS: Will help you move BESTFRIENDS: Will help you move a dead body FRIENDS: helps you up when you fall BESTFRIENDS: continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?" FRIENDS: gives you their umbrella in the rain BESTFRIENDS: takes yours and says, "RUN, -BEEP- RUN!" FRIENDS: wipes your tears when your rejected BESTFRIENDS: goes up to him and says, "It's because your gay isn't it?" FRIENDS: will bail you out of jail BESTFRIENDS: would be in the room next to you saying, "THAT WAS AWESOME, LETS DO IT AGAIN!!" FRIENDS: Ask you to write down your number BESTFRIENDS: Has you on speed dial FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff and gives it back a few days later BESTFRIENDS:Loses your stuff and tells you, "my bad .. heres a tissue" FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you BESTFRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography about your life FREINDS:Will leave you behind if thats what everyone else is doing BESTFRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd asses that left you FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door BESTFRIENDS:Would walk right in and say,"IM HOME" FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell BESTFRIENDS: Already know not to tell FRIENDS: Are through high school /college (drinking buddies) BESTFRIENDS: Are for life FRIENDS:Will be there to take your drink away when they think youve had enough BESTFRIENDS:Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say,"Girl drink the rest of that you know we dont waste FRIENDS: comfort you when you fight with your boyfriend BEST FRIENDS: go over to his house and kick his ass FRIENDS: bail you outta jail BEST FRIENDS: sit next to you singing the jail song FRIENDS: tell you to forget it when you say you want to vandalize a guy's house BEST FRIENDS: best friends are the ones getting fined by the police with you FRIENDS: Think your insane for jumping off a roof onto a trampoline BEST FRIENDS: Are jumping right after you FRIENDS: come over every couple of months for a sleepover BEST FRIENDS: are your weekend boarders FRIENDS: are offended when you make fun of them BEST FRIENDS: kick your ass and all's forgiven FRIENDS: are shy around your boyfriend BEST FRIENDS: will tease him till he blushes redder than a fire engine FRIENDS: don't see you if you're sick BEST FRIENDS: are why you're sitting in bed under a blanket with a thermometer, book, and your phone FRIENDS:dare you to scream into the street BEST FRIENDS: dare you to go streaking FRIENDS: call you retarded for running threw bleachers yelling "IT'S PICKLE TIME!" (don't ask you don't want to know) BEST FRIENDS: are screaming and running with you FREINDS: Will ignore this BESTFRIENDS:Will repost this crap. My Mother Taught Me 1. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." 2. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of 3. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why." 4. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the 5. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." 6. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about." 7. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper." 8. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?" 9. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone." 10. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it." 11. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!" 12. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out." 13. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!" 14. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't 15. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home." 16. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!" 17. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that 18. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?" 19. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me." 20. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." 21. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father." 22. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?" 23. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand." 24. My mother taught me SHAPE-SHIFTING. "You'll turn into a sausage if you eat any more. 25. My mother taught me CONSEQUENCES " If you don't tidy your room, there'll be hell to pay." If you think those stupid kids should just give that god-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, then copy this into your profile. You know you live in 2009 when... 1. You accidentally enter your password on a microwave. Miss I'm a girl so I'm probably cruel I'm a lady so I'm probably irrational I'm a women so I'm probably crazy I'm a female so I'm probably sexy Miss or Ms. "Whatever".Girls rule,Boys drool. All of the above put this in your pro. Having the love of you're life say "we can still be friends" is like having you're dog die and your mother saying you can still keep it. Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for Girls can do anything guys can do, and we do it in heels. Men who dress as women can do anything boys can do while wearing heels and looking like a girl. Imagine the stress they are under!(I had to be fair and put this here to ;-) Dude I hate these things but I am very superstitious: This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murderer chanted,"Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. YOUR GUY SIDE: I thougt this was really sweet! If i dont call you When i walk away from you mad When i stare at your mouth When i push you or hit you When i start cussing at you When im quiet When i ignore you When i pull away When you see me at my worst When you see me start crying When you see me walking When i'm scared When i lay my head on your shoulder When i grab at your hands When i tease you When i dont answer for a long time When i look at you with doubt When i say that i like you When i bump into you When i tell you a secret When i look at you in your eyes When i miss you When you break my heart When i say its over One fine day in the middle of the night, Two dead boys got up to fight. Back-to-back they faced one another, Drew their swords and shot each other. One was blind and the other couldn't see, So they chose a dummy for a referee. A blind man went to see fair play, A dumb man went to shout "hooray!" A deaf policeman heard the noise, And came and shot the two dead boys. A paralysed donkey walking by, Kicked the copper in the eye, Sent him through a rubber wall, Into a dry ditch and drowned them all. (If you don't believe this lie is true, Ask the blind man -- he saw it too!) 'Never Argue With A Woman' One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to read her book. The peace and solitude are magnificent. Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am.What are you doing?' 'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?'). 'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her. 'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.' 'Yes, but I see you have all the equipment. For all I know you could startat any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'
'But I haven't even touched you,' says the Game Warden. "That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment." 'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left. MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. LADIES don't start fights,we FINISH them. A good girl is a bad girl whos never gotten caught. "Do you remember when Pluto was a planet, yeah, those were the days." Who doesn't love comebacks that make the other person sound stupid? Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Some Great Answers to That Stupid Question: You haven't asked yet. I was hoping to do something meaningful with my life. What? And spoil my great sex life? Because I just love hearing this question. Just lucky, I guess. My fiance is awaiting his/her parole. I'm waiting until I get to be your age. It didn't seem worth a blood test. I already have enough laundry to do, thank you. Because I think it would take all the spontaneity out of dating. I'd have to forfeit my billion dollar trust fund. They just opened a great singles bar on my block. What? And lose all the money I've invested in running personal ads? We really want to, but my lover's spouse just won't go for it. I don't want to have to support another person on my paycheck. Why aren't you thin? I'm married to my career, although recently we have been considering a trial separation. (For Single Mothers) Because having a husband and a child would be redundant. Man "Haven't we met before?" Man "Haven't I seen you someplace before? Man "Is this seat empty?" Man "So, wanna go back to my place ?" Man "Your place or mine?" Man "I'd like to call you. What's your number?" Man "But I don't know your name." Man "So what do you do for a living?" Man "What sign were you born under?" Man "Hey, baby, what's your sign?" Man "How do you like your eggs in the morning?" Man "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason" Man "I'm here to fulfill your every sexual fantasy." Man "I know how to please a woman." Man "I want to give myself to you." Man "I can tell that you want me." Man "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy Man "Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?" Man "Your body is like a temple." Man "I'd go through anything for you." Man "I would go to the end of the world for you." If you are a serial killer, GET THE HECK AWAY FROM ME. If you are a cereal killer,GET THE HECK AWAY FROM MY CHERRIOS. "Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? i just want to know who the hell is drinking my damn soda" ¸.•´¸•´¨) ¸.•¨) ¸.•´¸.•´¨) ¸.•¨) If you like chocolate as much as I do (which is ALOT), copy this in your profile.(What girl doe's not like Chocolate?) If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile. If you don't have a problem with homosexuality, copy this into your profile. If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer. If you want to slice out Jacob Black's organs, throw them into a fire, and do a native dance around the fire, for what he did in Eclipse, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you think the human identification thing when you log in to fan fiction is annoying,But at the same time funny, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile (mabye...) If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc, and the people who kill the animals don't use the meat, copy and paste this into your profile Drugs are bad news. Spread the word.Too many people are on crack. If you're not, copy this into your bio. Too many people smoke marijuana. If you don't, copy this into your profile. If you cried when Fred Weasley died ((in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)), and not afraid to admit it, copy, paste this on your profile, and add your name to the list: Littlewhisker, Patronus Charm, The Dawn Is Breaking,MangoTango450 OMG he die's!). If you like animals, give one a home if you can. If you already have or can't but want to spread the word, copy this into your profile If you think that Global Warming is real, and that it should be dealt with, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile If you have ever read a 250 pg + book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile(Try 450 pg + book in less then one day)For some reason i don't think i should be proud of that. Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. The boys don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree all girls copy and paste this to your page A girl died in 1933.A man buried her in the ground when she was still alive.The murderer chanted , Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. Lucillia. Reasons why girls are the best 1.We got off the Titanic first 2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers. 3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours. 4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers. 5. We can cry and get off speeding fines. 6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game. 7. Taxis stop for us. 8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance. 9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing. 10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point). 11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay. 12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay. 13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life. 14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower. 15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves. 16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know. 17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt. 18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it. 19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there. 20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute. 21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in. 22. We have the ability to dress ourselves. 23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked. 24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot. 25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth. 26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems. 27. We'll never regret piercing our ears. 28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes. 29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark. Girls Don't realize these things; I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry But most of all I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm Sorry I'm sorry Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?" If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry' If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things' I really wish that more guys were like this, and I bet alot of girls do too. Dude I hate these things but I am very superstitious: This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murderer chanted,"Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. Girls - Unknown things i like =) I twilight new moon eclipse breaking dawn the host and music If you think Edward Cullen is hot...copy and paste this onto your profile. If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile. If you think the whole Jacob/Nessie thing is WAY creepy, copy this into your profile. If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing Twilight Fanfictions...copy and paste this on your profile. If you ever wished you could be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile. (A Wolf! Oooh, yeah) If you are going to dress up as a vampire to watch the new Twilight film copy and paste this into your profile If you're a proud stalker and obsessed love-struck girl of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, copy this into your profile. If you love the song 'Decode' by Paramore in the new Twilight movie, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've reread TWILIGHT over four times...copy and paste this onto your profile If whenever you see or hear the brand "Volvo" you freak out, copy and paste this onto your profile. If whenever you see or hear the name "Edward" you freak out, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are absolutely in love with Edward Cullen, no matter how much he overreacts no matter how much he gets overprotective, you will love him anyway, then copy this into your profile If you think what Jacob did to Bella in Eclipse took guts, copy and paste this into your profile. If you love Alice and Emmett Cullen, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have read every single book at least ten times copy and paste this into your profile If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile. If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile. If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer. If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile. If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile. Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile. If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile. If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you are random and don't care, copy and paste this onto your profile. If random songs just pop into your head at any given momet, from 'I've Been Working On the Railroad', to the Animorph version of the Barney song ~I hate you, you hate me, let’s chase Barney up a tree ect.-Personally, I like this version better~ to your most favorite song ever, copy and paste this onto your profile. (ALL THE FREAKIN’ TIME!) If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile 93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile. If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this onto your profile. (All the time...) If you think that TWILGHT is the best book known to man...copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have ever forgotten your name while introducing yourself, copy this to your profile (Every time I meet a hot girl, otherwise I never shut-up) If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. If you ever felt like killing someone ~or more than one person~ because they wouldn't leave you alone when you told them not to distract you because you were busy copy this into your profile.) If you are anti-social sometimes copy this into your profile If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile 92 percent of American teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off. If there are times when you just want to annoy people for the hell of it then copy this into your profile. If you have ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN, copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy and paste this in your profile If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile If you think rock, paper, scissors solves everything then put this in you’re profile! If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "where to begin?" If you are in lala land most of the time copy this into your profile. If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile. (They've been throwing themselves at me lately...) If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy this into your profile. If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile. If you think that losers hate/don't get Twilight, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile. If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile. If when you have a child, you'd consider naming them Rosalie, Jasper, Aro, or any other Twilight names, copy this into your profile. If you truly believe, there is an Rosalie Hale somewhere for you (Doesn't mean his name has to be Rosalie Hale), copy this into your profile. If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile If you are crazy and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile. If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile. (More times than I can count...) If you KNOW the voice in your head are real, copy and paste this onto your profile! Put this in your profile if you didn't know the ABC's song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune. If you know at least five words to the song 'I Love Rock n' Roll', put this in your profile. If you have ever attacked someone with joy, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have someone you love as a sister, copy and paste this into your profile. If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile. If you've ever tried to lick your elbow and knew that it was physically impossible, copy this to your profile. (I still try to, and I'm determinded to actually do it one day) If you have ever tried to put you foot behind you head, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever busted a move/burst into song randomly, copy/paste this into your profile. If you have ever thought of something funny, started laughing, and fell & hit your head on something hard, and ended up laughing harder than you were before, copy and paste this into your profile. If someone mentions Twilight, you can go on for hours talking about it, copy this to your profile. If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile. (See the next two copy and paste things for further info) If whenever you see or hear the name "Rosalie" you freak out and have a small fit because you love her so much, and then people stare at you, copy and paste this into your profile. If your friends are considering torturing you because you won't shut up about the Twilight series, copy and paste this in your profile. If you are in love with a Twilight character, copy and paste this in your profile. (Let's see, Rosale...Alice...Bella!) If you flip whenever you see someone reading a Twilight series book and you want to talk to them all about it, copy and paste this in your profile. Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that hasn't, put this in your profile. If you think the Coca-coca Puff Turkey-Bird thing should go to rehab, copy this into your profile. If you took the time to read all of these (and you usually do), copy and paste this onto your profile I don't really believe this but it's weird:This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murderer chanted,"Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. Olny srmat poelpe can raed this. cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The it deosn't mttaer in what oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is that the fsirt and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if If you've ever pretended you were Jasper,or Jasper's Girlfriend,paste this on your profile. "Psh, screw the Dark Side. So what if they have cookies? Come to the Light Side, we have Jasper Hale!" If you can't wait for the New Moon movie just because Jasper gets to have his big moment, copy this onto your profile. If you know you'll be super super pissed if Jasper doesn't get to have his big moment in the New Moon movie, copy and paste this onto your profile If you noticed that Jasper wouldn't be able to be in the ballet studio in Twilight because if he flipped out over a paper cut then he would deffinately flip out when Bella was bleeding like crazy with the gushing head and all that Jazz, copy and paste this onto your profile Why I hate Edward Cullen:Edward Cullen killed Bambi's mom. If you love Jasper Hale more than Edward Cullen and if you think that Edward needs to get over himself and stop calling himself a monster, and stop thinking that he is the only one that has problems in Cullen family, and if you think that he needs to just go DIE IN A FREAKING HOLE BECAUSE JASPER WILL ALWAYS BE WAAAY BETTER THAN HIM... Copy and paste this onto your profile...or is that just me? When Life Gives you Lemons,throw 'em back and demand Jasper Hale! If you are bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you hate Mike and you're not afraid to say it, paste this into your profile. If you hear the voice of Jasper in your head, put this onto your profile. If you think that Jasper absolutely ROCKS, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you cried, screamed, or threw a fit in you mind when Jasper got out of control in New Moon, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever acted like a paranoid fool because you believe (or wish) that the Jasper exists, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've started having dreams featuring Jasper, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you think swearing is bad,paste this on your profile. Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies since 1843 If you are a member of the unofficial Jasper Whitlock Hale Fangirl Club, copy and paste this into your profile.-Screw Edward,Jasper is cute,smart,and interesting. If you wanna push Alice off a cliff holding a baby vampire-with the volturi at the bottom-,copy and paste this on your profile. 1. Write the name of a person of the opposite gender. Jasper Hale Done with that? 1. You are in love with this person.funny This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murderer chanted,"Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. A Twilight Survey Which book in the series is your favorite? Eclipse.This one is when Victoria's head get's ripped off-plus Jasper gets a bigger part!! How long did it take you to read the books? Oh,about a week altogether. Who introduced you to the books? My librarian Did you buy them, borrow them, or have them given to you as a gift? Bought all 4.I could keep them that way. :) Are you most looking forward to: Breaking Dawn, Midnight Sun, or the movie? Twilight movie because I have Breaking Dawn and saw the movie,but I wanna see it again. What's your dream ending to the series? Alice get's murdered and somehow Jasper goes to me and makes me a vamp,starting a new relationship. Favorites: Jasper!Duh! Who's your favorite vampire? Jasper(Need I explain?)! Who is your favorite werewolf? Quil!! What's one of your favorite quotes from the stories? "I can feel what you're feeling right now,you're worth it." Jasper Whitlock Hale,Twilight What was your favorite Bella and Edward moment? Bella's wedding(They are so cute together!!) What was your favorite Bella and Jacob moment? When they are at the movies in New Moon. How about your favorite Bella and Alice moment? When Alice and Bella are going to save Edward's butt-he is such a drama queen. What was your favorite adventure/battle? When Edward goes to the Volturi Which book cover was your favorite? New Moon Are these books among your favorite books of all? YES!! This or That? Twilight or New Moon? New moon New Moon or Eclipse? Eclipse Eclipse or Twilight? Twilight Are you more excited about Breaking Dawn or Midnight Sun? Midnight Sun Midnight Sun or the Twilight Movie? Movie; it has Jackson Rathbone(who looks perfectly fine,he was supposed to act as if he was in pain!Gosh!) :D The Twilight Movie or Breaking Dawn? Twilight Movie Who do you want to see Bella with most: Edward or Jacob? Jacob!Edward is a snot nosed little,BEEP!! Who do you like more: Bella or Edward? Bella Bella or Jacob? Jacob Bella or Alice? Alice Alice or Jacob? Jacob Rosalie or Alice? Rosalie(She's not that bad,guys) Jasper or Alice? Jasper Jasper or Edward? Jasper that not a question Carlisle or Esme? Carlisle Emmett or Jasper? (My)Jasper Emmett or Jacob? Jacob Bella or Rosalie? Bella Esme or Charlie? Esme Charlie or Carlisle? Carlisle Charlie or Billy? Charlie Jacob or Sam? Jacob Sam or Quil? Quil Quil or Embry? Quil Who's the better villain: James or Victoria? James.He is a freakin CREEP!! Werewolves or Vampires? VAMPIRES!! Movie Stuff: How did you first find out about the movie? Well,I read the Twilight Series... Are you excited? Yes!I wanna see it again! What do you think of the casting so far? Perfect! Are you going to go see it? I saw it on opening day. Planning on going with anyone in particular? Friends Do you think it will stay true to the book? No Breaking Dawn Speculation: Are you planning on buying this book as soon as it's out? Yes Do you think Bella will be turned into a vampire finally? She did Do you think she and Edward will get married? They did Do you think Jacob might imprint in this book? He did. I wish he imprinted on,say,Carlisle.That would make a good book,right there,you gotta admit Who do you think Bella will end up with : Edward or Jacob? Edward Do you think it will be a happy, sad, or shocking ending? Happy.Stephenie Meyer does n't have the guts to make it sad. Who do you think will be the villain(s) of the book this time? The Volturi. How would you feel about a possible vampire / werewolf cross? Um,wouldn't it die from the werewolf half dying from vamp venom? Will Charlie find out Edward is a vampire? Sorta. Will the vampires and werewolves continue the truce they had in Eclipse? In a way,yes... If anyone, who do you think will die in this book? Alice,If I am lucky.Stupid Alice took (My)Jasper!! For a twist: what would you think if Edward was somehow turned human? Yes,Please.He may just turn into an old fart and die!! Do you think Jacob will be over Bella by the end of the book? totally. What do you most want to happen in Breaking Dawn? For Jasper to ditch Alice,turn me into a vamp,fall in love with me,and live forever as a happy couple. What's your dream ending? See answer above this one. (A Few Last Things:) In which book did you like Bella's character best? Twilight How about Edward's? I do not like Edward.He is a BEEP!! Jacob's? New Moon Alice's? I want Alice to die as well as Edward. If it were possible...who would you most want to meet in person? Jasper!He is so...HOT!! and he is going to my husband =) " target="_blank"" border="0" alt="twilight,robert pattinson,bella swan,edward cullen,new moon,bella marie cullen swan's diary" / ╔══╦══╦══╗ you have been diagnosed If you have ever opened your window in the night just so a vampire might come in, copy and paste this to your profile. A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away. As she walked along under the tall elm trees, she asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely. The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to cry. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked her for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. She was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." You're never alone... 93 Percent Of the people who read this won't repost it. Don't be one of those people. Believe in God and he'll always be there to protect you. A girl died in 1933.A man buried her in the ground when she was still alive.The murderer chanted , Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. Lucillia. Funny things I laughed at One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject. Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs. I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either. I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love. I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse. Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that. Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down, stay put and shut up. Silence is golden, duct tape is silver It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone. Music is love in search of word. Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much. An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed. Don't hate yourself in the morning - sleep until noon All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative. When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear. When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it. If you believe that preps travel in packs then place this on your profile. Come join the dark side A good friend bails you out of jail. A great friend is sitting there next to you saying 'Man, that was fun!' When you fall: A friend helps you up; a best friend keeps walking and says,"Walk much dumb ass?" My favorite word is sarcasm. Everyone has a wild side-me and my friends just prefer to make them public I didn't just hit you. I just high-fived your face. This is 'evil me'. 'Evil me' locked 'nice me' in a closet years ago. Dear Heart, I met a boy today, prepare to shatter. Somebody needs a Happy Meal. Music is like candy-you throw away the rappers. I would be more scared if you were aiming for the person next to me This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murderer chanted," Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiilling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. You Say Pink I Say Purple You Say Nick Jonas I Say all American rejects You Say Miley Cyrus I Say Evanescence You Say Zac Efron I Say Kellen lutz . You Say Pop I Say hip-hop You Say I'm Weird I Say I'm Different Calling me FAKE won't make you REAL, Calling me STUPID won't make you SMART, Calling me WEAK won't make you STRONG, Calling me UGLY won't make you PRETTY, Calling me POOR won't make you RICH, Calling me FAT wont make you PERFECT, Calling me UNCOOL wont make you COOL, So why bother? Twilight Oath I would say "screw you" but I think to many people already have. I am really trying to imagine you with a personality. Oops, I can't. Not the brightest crayon in the box, now, are we? Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed. Your a couple of fries short of a Happy Meal. You just won't leave me alone, will you? You know, people like you are the reason why people like me need medication. Is it time for your medication or mine? Oh, I'm so sorry! I forgot that you're an idiot! Roses are red, List 5 reasons why I shouldn't talk to you. And then read them over and over. If stupidity was a crime, you'd get the electric chair. Commandments of a Teenager Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping. Thou shall not steal from your parents. Thou shall not get into fights. Thou shall not skip class. My Favorite Insults (use at your own risk) Everyone is entitled to being stupid, but you just abuse the privilege. WHO IS YOUR ROLE MODEL?? Try it without looking at answers 1) Pick your favorite number between 1-9 2) Multiply by 3 then 3) Add 3, then again Multiply by 3 (I'll wait while you get the calculator...) 4) You'll get a 2 or 3 digit number…. 5) Add the digits together Now with that number see who your ROLE MODEL 1. Einstein 2. Nelson Mandela 5. Bill Gates 6. Gandhi 7. Brad Pitt 8. Hitler 9.T713 the new Mrs.JasperW.Hale (AKA: ME) ha ha ha 10. Barack Obama I know...I just have that effect on people...one day you too can be like me... :) Believe it! PS. Stop picking different numbers. I AM YOUR IDOL, JUST DEAL WITH IT!! Now copy and paste this into your profile, and change your name in #9. There are 100 questions below. They are stupid, but they happen. Copy and paste this onto your profile, delete my Xs, and put your own in. After you are done, count how many you x-ed and that is how much percent you are stupid of the time! I am stupid 50 percent of the time. 1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out 11. Have actually believed someone when they said that they knew how to make a love-potion 21. Have put a sticker on your forehead, forgot it was there, and went out in public with it on 31. After someone told you that there was gum on the ground, you stepped in it 41. x Put your shirt on backwards/inside-out without realizing it then left your house 43. x Gotten a ring stuck on your finger because you put it on even though you knew it was too small 51. x Have done enough stupid things to make a test 61. Done the Macarena to the electric slide or vice-versa 71. When wearing goggles, you pulled them away from your face and let go so that they would come back and snap you in the face 81. Put duct tape on your hair/someone else's hair then pulled it off 91. As you are writing, you move your head back and forth with your pen/pencil 94. Have used somebody else's toothbrush without even realizing it wasn't yours 98. x When laying in bed you look for pictures in the texture of the ceiling I went to an insane asylum to talk who led the building. I ask him, "How do you know if someone is insane?" "Well," he replies, "we fill a bathtub with water and offer them a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket; they have to empty the bathtub quickly." "Oh," I say, "so they will take the bucket because it is the biggest and holds the most water." He looks at me, "No. A normal person would pull the plug. Now, would you like a room with a bed near the window or by the door?" No, I didn't make that up. Here is a cool paradox I found while reading a fanfiction: The below statement is true. For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework instead of doing it. Crazy is when you draw Edward's face and hot bod all over your Advanced Placement United States History notes when you should be concentrating on the APUSH final the next day.Crazy is when you run into a pole and say as your excuse you were daydreaming about your fictionl boyfriend Edward. Crazy is screaming everytime you hear the name Edward because you think Jacob is 10 times better. HAHA! -laughs at Edward fangirls- --That's Crazy, too. Crazy is when you're not paying attention when the teacher is rambling and you think of something funny from the other day that you don't realize is funny til that moment and you burst into hysterical laughter and the entire class turns around and stares at you and you look the other way and pretend you don't notice. Crazy is when you star in your own movie and pretend to be an assassin... multiple times. Crazy is when you scream for no reason or sing nursery rhymes. Crazy is when you open your window every night waiting for Edward to watch you sleep. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!;) Our Edward, Who art in Forks, Hallowed be thy sparkles. Thy Volvo comes, thy will be fast, On Earth as it is in the meadow. Give you this day, our daily blood; Forgive us our heartbeats, As we worship Carlisle for giving you life. Lead us into temptation, Deliver us to you. For thine is the vampire, The music and the hotness, Forever and ever, A-Edward. Below is sang to the tune of 'The itsy bitsy Spider' The itsy pixie vampire went to the shopping mall. She wouldn't even care if there was no sale at all, but out came the sun and made her spark-kly, so the itsy pixie vampire quit her shopping spree. When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it. If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving. Edward Cullen made every girl want a bloodthirsty vampire instead of a knight in shining armor. An enemy of my enemy, is my friend. Jacob Black glared at the children dressed as vampires and he knew it wasn't right when he lied and told them there was no candy left. (haha, I love this one. I am SO Team Edward) To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target. I had a friend once. Then the rope broke and he got away. I like you. When I rule the world, your death shall be quick and painless. I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers. When life hands you a lemon, squirt life in the eye and run like fire. I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love. Before you criticize someone walk a mile in their shoes, that way you'll be a mile away and have their shoes. Hippopotomonstrousaequipodaliophobic - Fear of long words. It’s great to have gray hair. Ask anyone who’s bald. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand So many boys, so many reasons to stay alone I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse. Do you want to know why I'm still on earth? Heaven kicked me out and hell is afraid I'll take over! A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws. The cops never find it as funny as you do Go hug a cactus! Emmett is the Strongest, Sometimes a road less traveled is less traveled for a reason. MENstrual pain, MENstrual cramps, MENstrual anxiety, MENtal anxiety, MENopause, MENingitis. Notice our problems begin with MEN!! Psh, screw the Dark Side. So what if they have cookies? Come to the Light Side, we have Edward Cullen! At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he knows he can't. You have a right to your opinions; I just don't want to hear them. I'm not easily distracted, I... Hey, is that guy SPARKLING?? Growing old is mandatory, Growing up is optional. Live forever, or die trying. If you wish to make a man your enemy, tell him simply, "You are wrong." This method works every time. Catch a man a fish, and you can sell it to him. Teach a man to fish, and you ruin a wonderful business opportunity. If life gives you lemons throw them back and demand Edward. Emmett, when you laugh, I’ll laugh. When you dry sob, I’ll dry sob. But when you get arrested for trying to be the hulk, I’ll laugh and tell Carlisle. Do that again and I'll give you a papercut RIGHT IN FRONT OF JASPER! I keep trying to kidnap Edward but every time I try Alice is there waiting for me with a baseball bat. How does she- Oh. Right. Whoever said money can't buy happiness didn't know where to shop! If it's sent by ship then it's a cargo, if it's sent by road then it's a shipment. I tried to call 911 the other day, but couldn't find number eleven on the keypad! When you laugh, I'll laugh, you cry, I cry, you fall down that ski slope, I laugh even harder. The second mouse gets the cheese. It's Band GEEK, not Band NERD. If you are going to try to insult me, at least do it right! Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it? If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? If you know you have an unhealthy obsession with one or all of the Cullens (coughEdwardcough), but you don't really care because even though admitting you have a problem is the first step to healing, frankly, you don't wanna heal. In my world, pages 73-381 of New Moon don't exist. If you can't beat them, join them God made man, and then said, "I can do better than that," and made woman. What happens if you get scared half to death twice? I know I'm not perfect, BUT: Anything else you'd like to throw at me? But Jacob? Jacob, who was just Jacob, and nothing more than that? Jacob, My friend? Jacob, the only human I'd ever been able to relate to... And he wasn't even human. (New Moon, pg. 294) Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door. I am amazed at radio DJ's today. I am firmly convinced that AM on my radio stands for Absolute Moron. I will not begin to tell you what FM stands for. (Ha!) Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else. Someone told me: Go to hell! Me: I can't. They put a restraining order on me... Engineering: 'How will this work?' Science:'Why will this work?' Management: 'When will this work?' Liberal Arts:'Do you want fries with that?'" Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; I'm not sure about the universe. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. When you wish upon a star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to the earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor. There are easier things in life than finding a good man ... nailing Jell-O to a tree, for instance. Employee: Boss can I have the day off tomorrow? Boss: So you want a day off. Let's take a look at what There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have Since you spend 16 hours each day away from work, you You spend 30 minutes each day on coffee break which With a 1 hour lunch each day, you used up another 46 You normally spend 2 days per year on sick leave. This We are off 5 holidays per year, so your available We generously give 14 days vacation per year which Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid. A positive attitude may not solve all of your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. Keep smiling- it makes everyone wonder what you’re up too Firefighter: At one point we decided to fight fire with fire... Well...basically... your house burned even faster. There's no such thing as a stupid question, until you ask it. We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do. Suburbs are areas where they cut down trees and then name the streets after them If Tylenol, Duct Tape, & a Band Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem. The world is cruel... get used to it! 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321 If the world gives you lemons, you can make lemonade... or you can make a biologically engineered virulent air-born pathogenic virus that will wipe out the entire population of the planet, which would be a whole lot cooler. Would you like a cookie? So would I. The chances of getting hit by lightning increase if you stand under a tree, shake your fist to the sky, and yell: "Storms Suck!" If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room. When life gives you lemons, take half and squirt those in the eyes of your enimes, and use the other half to make a refreshing glass of lemonade after all your hard work. Only a Twilight fan can look at a girl just bitten by a vampire and go "Awww, that's so sweet!" Psychology. Mind over matter. Mind under matter? It doesn't matter. Never mind. His body is hard as stone and his touch is cold as ice. His voice is smooth as silk. His thirst is his only vice. Vampires don't exist. That's what I've been told. But Edward never changes. He never will grow old. His family is kind though unconventional at best. They consider me one of them though I am not one yet. I deem myself unfit for the love that he bestows. I still have no idea why it was me, he chose. His immortal kiss is coming. Better late than never. But I know this fact is true, only a vampire can love you forever. (No, I didn't make up that poem...) Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up. There is no such thing as fun for the whole family. I wasn't born yesterday, and neither were you. If you were congratulations on learning how to read at such a young age. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. Anyone who says "Easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried it. When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets. I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you! 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. 7. My mother taught me IRONY. 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. 19. My mother taught me ESP. 20. My mother taught me HUMOR. 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. 25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE. Sometimes... When you cry, No one sees your tears.
When you are in pain, No one sees your hurt. Sometimes... When you are worried, No one sees your stress.
When you are happy, No one sees your smile. But FART, just ONE time... Gotcha!! You thought this was going to be one of those heart-touching stories! Can't eat pork, Swine flu Can't eat chicken, Bird flu Can't eat Beef, Mad cow... Can't eat eggs, Salmonella. Can't eat fish, heavy metal poisons in their waters. Can't eat fruits and veggies, insecticides and herbicides. Hmmmmmmmmm!! M M M M M M M M M M M I believe that leaves Chocolate and ice cream!! Remember - - - 'STRESSED' spelled backwards! is 'DESSERTS Lessons Learned in Twilight: 1. You can enjoy the banquet while resisting the wine. ／l、 kitty! This is Kitty. Copy and paste Kitty into your ...(\_/) Join the dark side, Muhahahaha!! (\/) This is bunny.Copy and paste him into your profile to help him on his way to world domination. (\ _ /) This is Bunny. Ha. I found 3 bunnies that are trying to gain world domination. But I will beat them there! m Copy and paste me to help me beat the bunnies to world domination. | |||||||
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