F.A.Q.

I'm sure I'll get a lot of silly, redundant questions. This is here to save me a whole lot of time answering them all.

~ "I thought it was Grammar Nazi? Why Grammar Nun?" ~

Everyone else in the wold is a grammar nazi, insinuating that they would commit mass genocide against all who do not use correct grammar. I, on the other hand will slap your head with a ruler, make you kneel on pencils, and have you write hundreds upon thousands of sentences until you get it right.

~ "Are you really a nun?" ~

Hell no.

~ "Are you an English teacher?" ~

No.

~ "How old are you?" ~

Don't ask a lady that.

~ "Waah! You're so mean!!! ;_; " ~

No, just grammatically correct, cynical, sarcastic, and stingingly blunt. Get over it, kid.

~ "OMG WHAIYOU SO MEAN2ME I JUS 10 YRSOLD!!11!one!1oneshiftypie" ~

...What?

On the "I-actually-understood-that" note, I'm pretty sure I could communicate using basic English at the age of 6. I'm pretty sure that unless public schools have degraded into absolute crap since I've been there, they at least /teach/ what fragment and run-on sentences are. Not changing tenses in the middle of your sentence is introduced at the oh-so-upper level of maybe 7th grade? It's not that hard, especially what with all the fancy new tools like grammar check.

~ "AHH YOU MADE A GRAMMAR MISTAKE, HYPOCRITE!"~

Are nuns infalliable? Thought not.

~ "Who are you to judge me?!" ~

Someone who knows grammar better than you.

~ "Well I don't have to listen to you!" ~

Your loss.

~ "I wanted reviews and criticisms, not flames! You flamed me!" ~

No, it's called "constructive criticism". That would be me telling you what you did wrong so you can fix it next time. Flaming is me just hating on you. Let me give you some examples:

Flame: YOU SUCK, BUTTMUNCH! GO BURN, YOU AND YOUR FANFIC BOTH!

Constructive Criticism: Your grammar is horrible. You change tenses in the middle of paragraphs, which is not good. There are too many fragments for it to be considered artistic liscense, and you really need to capitalize properly. Just capitalizing and not changing verb tenses can make your writing sound much more intelligent.

Note the difference. One just has the emotional reaction. The other describes exactly why you suck, buttmunch, and what needs to be done to fix it. You need to accept that not all the people in your life will shower you will praise and love and affection. Some people will actually tell you when you are doing something wrong and make you fix it. Life is not full of daisies and puppies and little unicorns prancing down their damn rainbows. If someone tells you you are doing something wrong you'd better try to fix it because chances are that even the people showering you with love are noticing it too. They just won't say it.

~ "I want to get good at grammar! How do I do this?" ~

Listen in your English classes for a start. It's surprising how few people actually do this.

If I ever think of anything to add to this I will. For now, though, I need to go fix the world.