"There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you."

- Maya Angelou

"This world is not a wish-granting factory."

- Hazel Grace and Agustus Waters, 'The Fault in Our Stars'

We all have a forever in out lives. Some people's infinities are longer than others', but that's just how the cookie crumbles. I, personally, have experienced many forevers. Some lasted longer than others, but again, that's just how things work.

But I'm proud to say, the forevers I met on this website will stay with me until the day I die. I'll never forget the little world we all created together. Thank you all, for making me feel like I belonged for the first time in my entire life. And farewell.

This account was the place I got bullied, and this account is the place that behavior will be left. Any bullies from before will be reported immediately if they attempt to attack me or my friends on any of the accounts listed below.

I can now be contacted at LittleMissDae, my personal account or LittleMissFanvergent, a shared account with my best friend

Goodbye - April 29th, 2014... It's definitely a bittersweet feeling, writing these final words to anyone and everyone who cares enough to read them. I guess the decision to leave never really sank in when I finally came to a conclusion last night, and now it's like the titanic. Slow, steady, and then all at once. But I feel I owe anyone with any confusions an explanation.

This wasn't out of anger. Or spite. Or a disliking for anyone on this website. This was a decision made after days, and days of speculation, and 'what if' and 'maybe if I...'. It was a decision I'd actually been planning on making all along - to stay, or to go. In fact, I was talking to my best friend Kim when we were just growing close about the thought that I might leave the site altogether when I turn 18 so I can travel, and then come back when I've seen the world. Of course, this decision isn't so I can travel the world and see new places. I'm still not out of high school yet! No, this decision is because I feel it's time for me to let all of this go.

I realized something recently. Two things, actually. I'm not a child. And this world is made up of make-believe. While not everyone here are children either, they are happy living their lives surrounded by the make-believe fantasies of vampires, werewolves, and superheroes. And for awhile I was, too. But the other thing I've slowly been realizing over these last four days of contemplation is that I have responsibilities outside of the internet. I have a family outside of the following group of people. I have friends outside of the following group of people. And while everyone I mention below helped me get through some very dark, very despair filled chapters of my life, the friends I have now are helping me move on to new pages, and teaching me to write a story for myself that truly can end happy. And as sad as it is leaving all my wonderful, amazing friends behind, I'm happy I made this decision.

What will I do with my life now that I have all this free time on my hands? Simple. I'm going to live. I'm going to go on that walk with my mom every day. I'm going to try every silly thing I can think of with my friends and just be myself. I'm going to go wild and stay up all night watching movies and eating ice cream. I'm going to meet someone incredible, fall madly in love, and feel loved back. I'm going to travel the world. I'm going to move to Germany. I'm going to spend every waking moment of my life filling it with things I love to do, and learning to be someone who knows what it means to be happy.

But most importantly...I'm going to remember. I'm going to remember the first time I got a PM inviting me to role play on this website. I'm going to remember the first two friends I made here(Rayne and Jenna). I'm going to remember the day I was introduced to The Vampire Diaries. I'm going to remember the day I met my absolute best friend, on and off the web. I'm going to remember all the times said best friend pulled me back from the ledge and slowly pushed me towards this happiness I finally find myself reaching.

I'm going to remember the day I started my forum, with low expectations for a forum that I was sure would die off. I'm going to remember all the times it didn't, and I'm going to remember all the people that made that possible. I'm going to remember the day I looked on the front page of the 'Vampire Diaries' Television Show forum list and saw that mine had reached number two. I'm going to remember the way it felt to realize I had accomplished something I thought was impossible. I'm going to remember the day Damon Salvatore and Marianna Petrova confessed their love to each other. I'm going to remember all the reasons it was meant to be. I'm going to remember all the reasons it wasn't meant to be. I'm going to remember every moment between them that made me love them so much, and I'm going to remember how it felt to accept that things don't always go as I want them to and that's okay.

I'm going to remember the days I spent meeting new people, finding someone I really cared about, realizing happiness doesn't come from a few letters spread across a computer/cell phone screen, and started to move on with my life...

And the single thing I will never, ever do...is forget. So I leave you all with this final farewell. Maybe I'll return someday, or maybe I won't. I can't really say, all I know right now is that it's time for me to put childish dreams aside and start reaching for the goals I have in my real life.

As of 10:20 PM on Tuesday, April 29th 2014, I am no longer an active member of Fanfiction.net. Goodbye to everyone, I hope your lives take you to places you could never have imagined in your wildest dreams!

To all those who stood by me when I had no hand to hold;

Kim

You're amazing. You're the one I can say without a shadow of a doubt I won't forget. Not even if my life depended on it, because you kept me sane. And you kept me alive when I failed to do so myself. You're my best friend, and you always will be. I can understand if you're upset with me for this decision. But sometimes, you just have to put the things you loved aside and deal with the things that are developing. I hope in the future you'll understand my reason for doing this, and that it's no one's fault. If you'll let me, I'll keep in touch with you over text and calls.

Elegance

I know we may not have gotten along at every moment. And some of my methods with forums might have seemed odd to you. But you really were a great friend. You were there when I needed advice about my love life complications. And that's something I won't be forgetting. Thank you for the awesome times and the great conversations :)

Fel

You've always been able to make me laugh. No matter what mood I'm in, you come on and post and it gets me giggling like a little school girl. I can't thank you enough for that. It's really helped me with a lot of things.

Aqua

I wasn't a very social person, and I guess I should have role played more with you. But the times I did, I had a blast. You play Klaus better than anyone I've ever seen, and that's an accomplishment. Because he's a very hard character to get down, and succeeding should be something to win an award for. Not even J-mo got it right. And you did. So that's something we should all recognize as brilliance.

Desert

Like with Aqua, I probably should have role played with you more. But I enjoyed your company when we were able to do so, and I loved how you played Caroline. In all her amazing Caroline glory, she was great :)

Carrot

I've always loved how you've been that quiet voice in the background that doesn't want anyone getting hurt, so you don't take sides, and instead you wait for us all to realize it's silly to be fighting. I wish I could be like that.

Anyone I've missed

I made a lot of memorable friends here. Rayne, Jenna, the above listed, and a number of others. They've all been great. And I'm really going to miss you all :)

My final words on this website have officially been said, and my farewells have been payed. I leave with you this final piece of my heart, which will forever float on the world wide web and perhaps one day find a big industry who will publish something like this. But if that day never comes, then I would like to say it's an honor to share it with you all now. I hope you understand, I am not currently in the position of the "boy" in the story. It's just something I feel strongly about.

Why?

Why? The word sticks in the back of his mind as his hands shake and fumble to complete the task at hand. Why couldn’t he ever be enough?

Why? Somewhere in the background a metronome begins ticking away. Slow and steady, funny how it seems to tick to the pattern of his heart. Why couldn’t they just understand?

Why? The metronome continues to tick as each click of the little golden bullets sliding into the chamber of the revolver rings out. It picks up speed now, and he finds it so odd that each tick is syncopated, perfectly timed to the beating of his heart. TickTick, TickTick. Why couldn’t he notice the girls like every normal fucking kid in school?

Why? His heart is beating so loud now he expects it to drown out the insistent ticking of that stupid metronome. But it doesn’t, and the two sounds continue to beat in time with each other like an aggravating song you can’t get out of your head. Why did those baggy hand-me-down basketball shorts never feel quite as good on him as the silky smooth texture of a satin dress?

Why? The ticking hasn’t stopped, and he suddenly realizes it’s not a metronome, but instead the six inch heel of his high heeled boot tapping consistently in time with his heart against the hardwood floor. Why was he born with body parts that didn’t fit what he saw inside?

Why? The feeling of the cold, steely barrell presses against his temple. His eyes close, his breath hitches, and the silence overcomes him. The only sound left in the room is the deliberate thumping of his heart, and the matching TickTick of his heeled boot. Now suddenly calm and ready, he stands and waits. And then it comes…

BANG!!!!

His body falls limply to the ground, the gun clattering against the hardwood. His mother rushes in screaming for someone, anyone to help. A small child no older than 6 stands in the doorway, her eyes swimming with tears. Confused and unsure, she stands there unmoving, staring down at her brother’s lifeless body.

Why? Months pass. His six year old sister drowns in their backyard pool because his mother is too busy replaying old home videos while simultaneously blasting his favorite CDs to hear her quiet calls for help, and his father is out drinking again. Why can’t they just understand it’s not their fault?

Why? His father eventually leaves his mother because she refuses to get up and move on. Why did he have to do that to them?

Why? On the year anniversary of his death, his mother stands in the bathroom and slits her own wrists. As the blood spills over and her life fades out, the words ring through time and space. Why didn’t I just think things through?

His eyes fly open startled by the sound of his mother’s screams growing louder as she approaches him swiftly, wrapping her arms around him in a vice grip. The gun slips from his hand and falls to the ground, and she pulls back. With his face now held between her hands in a tender grip, she looks him in the eye and asks one simple question…

Why?