Hey This is my Fanfic page!

Now for random things I have found here on fanfiction that I like! :D

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most!

In my world, I'm normal!

I tried sniffing coke once but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose!

How can I miss you if you won't go away?

When in pain, laugh!

Don't piss me off, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies!

It's all fun again until someone pops an eye out then hey, free eyeball!

Battologist: someone who pointlessly repeats themself Battologist: someone who pointlessly repeats them self

I met some crazy people. They made me their leader!

I'm not afraid of death! What's it going to do? Kill me?

homework. n. (def.) a crude form of mind control still practiced in some primitive societies

One day, your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions

I didn't fall from heaven, I rose from hell.

Don't knock on death's door.Ring the bell and run- he hates that.

"I’m here cus Heaven wouldn’t take me, and hell was afraid I’d take over..."

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and enjoy while others try to figure out how you did it.

Don't follow in my footsteps. I walk into walls!

Don't play stupid with me...I'm better at it!

OMFG! HI!

You aren't drunk until you have to grab the grass to keep from falling off the earth.

It doesn't matter if the glass is half full or half empty...just drink it and get on with your life.

If life gives you lemons and not sugar and ice cubes, your lemonades going to suck...

Don't come near me. I had 5 huge chocolate bars, 9 packets of pb m&ms, 13 Crunch bars, and a bunch of other stuuf I don' have time to list.

I HAD TOO MUCH CANDY!!

Candy... Drool Candy... Drool CANDY!! jumps and runs out the window Background noises: car crash, cat yowl, glass breaking, squeaking rubber, and a bunch of bad words that caused many mouths to be washed with soap.

Candy is good for you. Why? Bouncing off walls is good exercise.

Chaos. Panic. Disorder. My work here is done.

I'm weird and I'm proud of it!!

You fight, I fight You cry, i cry You jump off a bridge, im gonna miss your dumb ass!

A best friend is someone who yells in the hall I LOVE YOU!! not caring that people think your a lez.

A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. But a best friend will go up to him and say "It's because you're gay isn't it?"

"A good friend will come bail you out of jail, but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying ... HECK, WAS THAT FUN OR WHAT?"

FAKE VS. REAL

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs.

REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.

REAL FRIENDS: Will sit next to you saying “Damn … we fucked up … but that shit was fun!”

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

REAL FRIENDS: Won't tell anyone else you cry... just laugh about it when you're not down anymore.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Try to half-ass comfort you when you feel down.

REAL FRIENDS: Grab you by the shoulders, shake you, and say "Bitch, snap out of it!"

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.

REAL FRIENDS: Keep your shit so long they forget its yours.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Always keep your stuff they borrowed in perfect condition.

REAL FRIENDS: Lose your shit and tell you, "My bad ... here's a tissue."

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink because they think it's polite.

REAL FRIENDS: Raise an eyebrow and say "Bitch, I'll eat what I want" and are the reason you never have food.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.

REAL FRIENDS: Can write a very embarrassing book about you, with direct quotes from you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door.

REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!"

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Ask you what you number is.

REAL FRIENDS: Remind you what your number is when you forget.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Are for awhile.

REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Have to be reminded not to tell.

REAL FRIENDS: Would willingly go skinny-dipping in a tank of acid before they even consider telling.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough.

REAL FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say “Bitch, drink the rest of that, you know we don’t waste.”

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will offer to pay when you have a drink.

REAL FRIENDS: Will laugh and say "Pay my ass! You'll pay for mine, bitch!"

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Don't let friends drive drunk.

REAL FRIENDS: Don't let friends drive drunk alone.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will apologize when you forget lunch money and say that they don't have any left.

REAL FRIENDS: Will say "Sucks for you" and finally cave after a few hours and then say "You owe me for this, you fatass."

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will smile and say "Don't worry about me" when they forget their lunch money, even if you didn't offer to pay.

REAL FRIENDS: Will say "Bitch, I'm a fatass and I'm starving, now buy me some damn food."

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will automatically tell you you're beautiful when you ask if something makes you look fat.

REAL FRIENDS: Will say "Well no shit, Sherlock."

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Would tell you not to get a face-lift because you already look perfect.

REAL FRIENDS: Would say "Face-lift? I don't think a fork-lift would help."

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Laugh with you.

REAL FRIENDS: Laugh at you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Laugh at all your jokes.

REAL FRIENDS: Tell you your jokes suck.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Congratulate you when you get good grades.

REAL FRIENDS: Say "Jeez, you nerd. If you were in stupid classes like me, we'd see each other more."

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Encourage you not to skip school.

REAL FRIENDS: Photoshop one of their old doctor's notes and use it to spring you from school.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.

REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out!

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.

REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to what's wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.

REAL FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will glare at the guy who dumps you and say "Forget him. You're too good for him."

REAL FRIENDS: Kick the guy's ass and threaten to castrate him with a spork if he comes within five miles of you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Crush on your older brother whom you absolutely despise.

REAL FRIENDS: Hate you older brother as much as you do and give him the nick-name "Faggot"

FAKE FRIENDS: Never seen you cry.

REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.

REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out!

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.

REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to whats wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Make you say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.

REAL FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Would go to your funeral if you were murdered.

REAL FRIENDS: Would skip the funeral and go out looking for the murderer and kill him!!

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will help me find my way when I'm lost.

REAL FRIENDS: Will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will help me learn to drive.

REAL FRIENDS: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will help me up when I fall down.

REAL FRIENDS: Will point and laugh because they tripped me.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will go to a concert with me.

REAL FRIENDS: Will kidnap the band with me.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Hide me from the cops.

REAL FRIENDS: Are probably the reason they're after me in the first place.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Let me make an idiot of myself in public.

REAL FRIENDS: Are up there with me making an idiot out of themselves too.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will try to comfort me when my boyfiren/girlfriend breaks up with me.

REAL FRIENDS: Will kick my ass until I get it together and will smack him/her for breaking up with me.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will help me move.

REAL FRIENDS: Will help me move a body.

FAKE FRIENDS: Are for awhile.

REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will ignore this.

REAL FRIENDS: Will repost it

100 Things I am not allowed to do at Hogwarts:

1) Seamus Finnigan is not after me lucky charms

2) I will not sing "we're off to see the wizard" when sent to the Headmaster's office.

3) I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class

4) I will not diagnose Voldemort with cancer because of his unnaturally bald state

5) I will not ask Professor Flitwick if his first name is Yoda

6) I will not send Lupin a flea collar for his birthday

7) I will not feed first years to Fluffy

8) I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his "time of the month"

9) I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals

10) I will not sing the Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin quidditch matches

12) When Death-Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout "To the Bat Moblie, Robin!"

13) When a class-mate falls asleep, I shall not take advantage of the fact and draw a Dark Mark on his arm (or a mustache, goatee, bushy eyebrows and L-O-S-E-R on their face either...)

14) I will not burst out singing Werewolves of London every time I see Lupin

15) I will not throw a boggart in front of Hermione just to see the look on her face when she sees a failed exam

16) I will not look at Dumbledore and gasp "Professor! You have a white hair!"

17) I will not hex Slytherins into oblivion every chance I get

18) I will not pick up where the Marauders left off and begin to call McGonagall "Minnie"

19) Its not necessary for me to yell "Bam!" everytime I apparate (or cast any spell that would sound better with a "BAM!" in it.)

20) I will not attempt to poke Moody's fake eye simply because it's that tempting

21) I will not tease Moaning Mertle about her obsession with Harry...or his chest...

22) I will not make lightsaber sounds with my wand (even if it is tempting and annoys the crap out of all of the teachers in Hogwarts...)

23) I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue and call them smurfs.

24) I will not slip Lupin a Love Potion in his morning goblet of Pumpkin Juice.

25) I will not say the phrase "Dude, get a life!" to Voldemort.

26) Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I will not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera.

27) I will not refer to the Accio charm as "The Force".

28) I will not call Dumbledore "Santa Claus!" during the Christmas Holidays (even if he is wearing red robes).

29) I will not put Muggle fairy book in the History section at the library.

30) I will not send Snape a bottle of shampoo for Christmas.

31.)I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "I told you I was hardcore". Or, "LOSER" on Draco's forehead.

32.) I will not take Dobby for a night out at the bar just to see him drunk out of his little elf mind.

33.) I will not start a betting pool on the fate of this year's Defense Against Dark Arts teacher.

34.)I am not allowed to tell Hufflepuffs there is no Santa Clause.

35.) I am not allowed to refer to myself as a Jizard, combination of a Jedi and a Wizard.-I am the Master Jizard!! Kneel before my mighty Jizard-Ness!!!

36.) I am not allowed to create a mass petition of the entire school(professors included) to get Lupin back as the Defense teacher, seeing as he doesn't have Voldemort strapped to the back of his head, he isn't a complete nutjob, he isn't an imposter, he isn't a toad faced ministry loving piece of pure evil, a grease haired git, or relatively near insane.

37.) I am not allowed to steal Professor Flitwicks wand, hold it over my head and laugh as he tries to reach it.

38.)I will not replace Madam Pomfrey's Skele-Gro with pumpkin juice.

39.) I will not replace Professor Snape's pumpkin juice with Skele-Gro.

40.) I will not impersonate the Swedish Chef in Potions class.

41.) I will not tell Rita Skeeter that Gilderoy Lockhart is waiting for her for a date at the Three Broomsticks

42.)I will not feed first years to Aragog either

43.)When applying for a post at the Ministry of Magic after graduation, I should not put down "The Marauders " as my greatest influence at Hogwarts.

44.) Putting down "Fred and George Weasley" probably isn't the best idea either...

45.) A Muggle "vacuum cleaner" is not acceptable Quidditch equipment, even if it has been enchanted to fly.

46.) Nor am I allowed to feed the little scum first years to Lupin during full moon...

47.)I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I prophesied her death.

48.). I will also not tell Professor Trelawney that I had a vision of her killing the Dark Lord.

49.) I will not ask McGonagall if she has a thing for Dumbledore, as strongly as I believe she does.

50.) I will not use the Room of Requirement as a party hall to annoy the magic out of Umbridge

51.)I will not call the Ghostbusters as a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists.

52.)I will not have a private army of Jizards (Even though they will rule the world one day...)

53.) I will not substitute chocolate-flavored laxative for Professor Lupin's prescription-strength chocolate.

54.)Nor am I to in any way substitute, alter, hide, or otherwise tamper with Professor Dumbledore's candy.

55.)I am not the wicked witch of the west.

56.) -I will not refer to Professor Umbridge as such either.(Or Snape.)

57.) I will not melt if water is poured over me.

58.) -Neither will Professor Umbridge. (So we should try fire instead)

59.)I shouldn't use Photoshop to create incriminating photos of my house prefects or tutors.(Or Snape.)

60.)I will not enchant the Golden Snitch to fly up the nearest fan's nose.(Or Snape.)

61.) I do not know the Avada Kedavra curse, and pretending I do to people who annoy me is not funny, no matter how much they injure themselves diving for cover.

62.) I will not test my Potions assigments by spiking Snape's drink with them.

63.) - Especially not all of them at once.

64.) I will not try to sell Gilderoy Lockhart's used tissues to his shallow little fangirlsl.

65.) I will not claim my X-Files tapes are "Auror Training Videos."

66.)I will not shout out that Snape has greasy hair at random in the middle of his class.(I will also not blame it on Peeves.)

67.)I am not able to see the Grim Reaper, nor am I to claim that he is standing by the Headmaster, tapping an hourglass and looking at him impatiently. Or, for that matter, Harry Potter.

68.)When being interrogated by a member of staff, I am not to wave my hand and announce 'These are not the droids you are looking for'.

69.)Thestrals do not resemble the Muggle toys known as 'My Little Pony'.

70.)The four Houses are not the Unrealistic Heroes, the Borons, the Smarts and the Junior Death Eaters.

71.)I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort.

72.)Despite my personal beliefs, Quidditch would not be improved by the introduction of muggle firearms.

73.)Though they are doubtless more athletic, battle-axes are not acceptable either.

74.)I will not claim that Luna is indeed crazy and in need to be locked up in the cookoo shack.

75.)I will not use the Marauder's Map for stalking purposes.(Or give it to Moaning Mertle to stalk Harry.)

76.)I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing.

77.) I am not allowed to ask Professor Dumbledore how old he exactly is...or if I can guess his age starting from 250.

78.)I will not hire The Remus Lupins, Harry and the Potters, Draco and the Malfoys, The Whomping Willows or The Moaning Myrtles to play at the Yule Ball

79.) I will not claim that Ms. Norris is demented and then perform an elaborate exorcism on both her and Mr. Filch.

80.) Harry Potter and Ron Weasley are not the magical equivalent of "Batman and Robin".

81.) Nor is Dumbledore the magical equivalent of Gandalf.

82.) I will not attempt to assassinate Umbridge with every chance I receive. (Or use her magic quill to write, "Wicked Witch of the West" on her Forehead.)

83.)I will not play the Imperial March theme when Professor Snape walks into class, slamming the door, shutting the blinds, pulling down the over head and demanding "Turn to page three hundred and ninety four."

84.). - However, when Lucius Malfoy visits, I may play it.

85.) I will not turn to Lupin and scream "ZOMG IT'S ALEX CARPENTER!!"

86.) I will not attempt to steal Hermione's arithmacy homework.

87.)I should not refer to Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle collectively as "Team Rocket" either. (Or call Crabbe and Goyle Tweedledee and Tweedledum and Malfoy the Mad Hatter...)

88.)I will not grab Ron by the collar and growl "Just tell her you love her goddamit!" and then proceed to threaten him into taking Hermione out.

89.)I will not walk up to Snape with a cup and put it over my mouth and yell "NO I AM YOUR FATHER"

90.)I will not introduce Cho and Cedric to Bella Swan just to see the biggest catfight in the history of catfights.

91.)I will not charm the Slytherin common room to be gold and burgundy.

92.)I will not stand up on the table during the great feast and announce that Dumbledore is gay.

93.)I will not charm a poster of Britney Spears on Draco's wall.

94.) I will not tell Draco that he has an uncanny resemblance to Eminem.

95.)-And then explain to him who Eminem is... And then use Umbridges Magic Quill to write Eminem on his forehead...

96.) I will not persuade Harry, Ron and Hermione to join me in making a potion that will go horribly wrong and send us back to the time of The Marauders so we can change the future.

97.) I will not attempt to give Harry laser surgery to remove his scar.

98.) I will not dye my hair red and proclaim myself to be a Weasley.

99.) I will not turn into an animagus and join the Marauders every full moon to accompany Lupin and become the first ever girl Marauder.

100.) I will not under any possible circumstances whatsoever allowed to make a list of 100 things that I am not allowed to do at Hogwarts simply so I can go and do them.