Aaml-sp5 Poll: What genre of music do you prefer? Vote Now! |
 Author has written 2 stories for Pokémon, and Glee. Age is 22 years. Birthday August 1 I love to listen to music(of just about any genre), read fanfics, read manga/watch anime, draw, write(but I criticize my work WAY too harshly), sing(but I don't think I'm that good; especially if it's just me singing), hang with friends/family, and sleep(I should do that more often). Favorite Color(s): Gray, Sanguine, Blue, Orange, Brown Favorite Singers/Bands/Music Groups: Glee, Lady Gaga, Avril Lavigne, t.A.T.u., 3OH!3, P!nk, Fall Out Boy, Mariana's Trench, Taylor Swift, Katy Perry, Britney Spears, The Maine, KOTOKO, The Script, Aya Hirano, Blink 182, Kelly Clarkson, Aqua Timez, Owl City, One Republic, NSYNC, Selena Gomez, Sara Evans, Relient K, Jason Mraz, Lifehouse, The Fray, Colbie Caillat, Boys Like Girls, Hoobastank, Lady Antebellum, Snow Patrol, Blue October, Carrie Underwood, Nana Mizuki, The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, Nickleback, Nelly Furtado, The All-American Rejects, Yuu Kobayashi, Blood On The Dance Floor, System Of A Down, Little Non, Yui Horie, Rie Kugimiya, Big Bang, Tohoshinki, Sugarcult, Linkin Park, Rihanna, Lelia Broussard, Kolohe Kai, Mumford & Sons(of course that's not all of them) Favorite Genres: Yuri(Shoujo-ai)(Femslash), Romance, Humor, Drama, Fantasy, Parody Favorite Pairings TV: Glee- Faberry, Brittana, Sugarmony, Karley, Pezberry, Quitt, Brittberry, Quintana, Faberrittana, Klaine, Puckleberry, Quick, Asian Fusion, Fabrevans, Bike Hannah Montana- Liley iCarly- Cam Middleman- Wendy/Lacey Once Upon A Time: Emma/Regina Victorious- Jori Anime: Negima- KonoSetsu, AsuAya, Nodoka/Yue, Kazumi/Sayo, Eva/Chachamaru, Kotaro/Natsumi, Kaede/Mana, Fuuka/Fumika, Yuna/Akira, Ako/Makie, Madoka/Misa/Shiina Sword Art Online- Kazuto(Kirito)/Asuna Bodacious Space Pirates- Marika/Chiaki, Jenny/Lynn, Yayoi/Ai Lucky Star- Konami, Tsukasa/Miyuki, Minami/Yutaka, Misao/Ayano, Patricia/Hiyori Pokemon- Ash/Misty(AAML), May/Drew, Dawn/Zoey, Misty/May, Skyla/Elesa, Flannery/Winona, May/Dawn, Misty/Dawn, Iris/Ash Shingeki no Kyojin: Historia/Ymir, Mikasa/Annie, Mikasa/Sasha Fairy Tail- Mendy(Edo), Jerza, LuCa, EdoLuLe, NaLi, EdoGruvia, Grultear, Everman, EdoLeCa(Edo), EdoMirza(Edo), Chendy, Sheren, Arieo, Happy/Carle, Flare/Lucy StoPani- Nagisa/Tamao, Chikaru/Shion, Yaya/Tsubomi, Kagome/Chiyo, Hikari/Amane, Kizuna/Remon, Shizuma/Miyuki, Momomi/Kaname, Yaya/Hikari, Chikaru/Kagome Kateikyoshi Hitman Reborn- Kyoko/Haru, Chrome/Kyoko, MM/Chrome, Bluebell/Any of the forementioned, I-pin/Chrome OHSHC- Haruhi/Tamaki, Hikaru/Kaoru, Mori/Hani Bleach- IchiRuki, HitsuHina, Yoruichi/Soi Fon, Rangiku/Gin, Tatsuki/Orihime, Ulquiorra/Orihime K-On- Mitsu, Yui/Azusa/Ui Shugo Chara- TadAmu, Utau/Kukai, Rima/Nagihiko, Yaya/Kairi, Rikka/Hikaru, Amu/Utau, Amu/Rima, Rima/Yaya To Love-Ru- Mikan/Yami, Rito/Lala, Nana/Momo, Haruna/Oshizu, Zastin/Saki, Rito/Haruna, Risa/Mio, Rito/harem RosarioVampire- Tsukune/Moka, Tsukune/Mizore, Kurumu/Yukari, Kurumu/Mizore, Tsukune/harem Otoboku- Mizuho/Takako, Mariya/Shion, Kana/Yukari, Ichiko/Yukari Angel Beats- Yuzuru/Kanade, Hinata/Yui, Yuzuru/Yuri, Yuri/Kanade Hyakko- Torako/Suzume, Ayumi/Tatsuki S.A.- Hikari/Kei, Akira/Tadashi, Yahiro/Megumi, Jun/Sakura MoHS- Kyon/Haruhi, Haruhi/Asahina, Itsuki/Asahina, Kyon/Yuki Fruits Basket- Touru/Yuki, Kyo/Kasuga, Kisa/Hiro, Touru/Kisa Madoka Puella Magi- Kaname Madoka/Akemi Homura, Miki Sayaka/Sakura Kyouko Munto- Yumemi/Munto, Suzuka/Kazuya, Ichiko/Yumemi/Suzuka Choujigen Game Neptune Animation- Neptune/Noire, Vert/Blanc, Nepgear/Uni, Rom/Ram, IF/Compa Love Lab- Riko/Maki, Yuiko/Sayori Yuru Yuri- Kyoko/Ayano, Chinatsu/Akari, Himawari/Sakurako Senran Kagura- Asuka/Homura, Yagyuu/Hibari, Ikaruga/Katsuragi Simoun- Rodoreamon/Mamiina, Limone/Dominura, Aaeru/Neviril, Morinas/Wapourif Stella Jogakuin Koto ka C3 bu- Karila/Honoka, Rento/Yachiyo, Sonora/Rin Tamako Market- Tamako/Midori, Midori/Kanna, Tamako/Kanna, Tamako/Shiori, Kanna/Shiori, Tamako/Choi Kiniro Mosaic- Shinobu/Alice, Yoko/Aya, Karen/Isami Haiyore Nyaruko-san- Nyaruko/Kuuko, Mahiro/Hasta Fantasista Dolls- Uno/Manai, Shimeji/Aloe, Miko/Katia Love Live! School Idol Project- Sonoda Umi/Minami Kotori, Ayase Eri/Toujou Nozomi, Koizumi Hanayo/Hoshizora Rin, Housaka Honoka/Nishikino Maki, Ayase Arisa/Housaka Yukiho Favorite Anime(not mentioned above): Yuyushiki, Myself; Yourself, H2O: F.I.T.S., Azumanga Daioh, Kokoro Connect, Kitakubu Katsudou Kiroku, Vividred Operation. Favorite manga: Mahou Sensei Negima, Shingeki no Kyojin, a few other titles, and basically between half and a third of Mangafox's shoujo-ai/yuri titles(so far) 20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it "In". 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds". 7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy". 8. Don't use any punctuation. 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. 10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go". 12. Sing Along At The Opera. 13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme? 14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day. 15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood. 16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom. 17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!" 18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!" 19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go." 20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity: Copy this on your profile! 98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile. Different is good. Strange is bad. Odd is what you call someone who you can't decide what to call them. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which means weird is good! If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile! A large percent of authors do not know the difference between 'your' and 'you're'. If you do know the difference, copy and paste this to your profile. If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews for one of your stories, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have a tendency to talk to your self, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think it is an accomplishment to be a virgin in high school and are proud of it, copy this into your profile. Being unique is thinking outside the box, reading between the lines, coloring out of pictures, dancing to the tune of your own drummer, and having a heck of a better time than other people. If you're unique, copy and paste this in your profile. If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word, and you do at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile. Paste this in your profile if you are a procrastination addict. If you have ever yelled at and/or slapped an inanimate object from anger, paste this on your profile. If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile. If you love gazing out at the stars and the moon, copy and paste this to your profile. If you have seen a movie so many times that you have memorized almost all of the lines, and you STILL laugh at EVERY punch line, copy this onto your profile. If you are a proud yuri fan, copy and paste this into your profile. "I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone. If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile. If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. (Of course I do, everyone does, whether they admit it or not.) If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy this into your profile. If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites, copy this in your profile. If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile! If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freaking trix, copy and paste this into your profile. If you walk and trip or stumble because your too busy reading a book copy and paste this into your profile. If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile. If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile. If you love someone more than they know copy this into your profile. If you've ever busted a move/burst into song, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever done something embarrassing in front of your crush, copy and paste this into your profile. If you're still reading this profile, you ROCK! Show the world I approve and put this on your profile. If you're here procrastinating, copy and paste this on your profile. If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud or it, copy and paste this into your profile. If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile. If you are odd and proud of it put this on your profile. If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you are obsessed with fan-fiction copy this into your profile. If you aren't me, paste this on your profile. If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away and remembered copy this into your profile. If you have ever had a random song pop into your head at the most completely and utter worst time but you sing it anyway copy this into your profile. If you have ever wondered why you exist and/or why your name is what it is then copy and paste this to your profile. If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile. If you are a MOVIE QUOTER, which means you go around quoting movies for fun, copy and paste this in your profile! If you say 'yeah...' a lot copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever been called a bookworm and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have weird friends, copy this into your profile. If YOU are weird, please copy this into your profile. If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile. If you absolutely LOVE Dianna Agron copy this into your profile. If you absolutely LOVE Anna Kendrick copy this into your profile. If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy this into your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy this onto your profile. If you click the elevator button a thousand times even if you know it won't make it come any faster copy this into your profile. For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile. 92 percent American teens would die if Abecrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their butts off at the others. Copy and paste this into your profile if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it. If you believe that gay marriage is completely natural if two people are really in love, copy and paste this to your page. Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it! If it totally pisses you off when people say being gay is gross than copy this into your profile WHETHER IT BE BETWEEN TWO MALES, TWO FEMALES OR A MALE AND A FEMALE, LOVE IS LOVE AND NOTHING LESS THAN JUST THAT!..copy this into your profile if you agree. If you HATE child abusing like me copy and paste this to your profile. If you hate Sexism and think that women can do things just as good as men Copy and Paste this onto your Profile. Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen, watching-waiting-wishing, 100-percent-Harry-Potter-obsessed, iluvdavidwright45, dianeandnumairareahotcouple,windsoftiti, Ilovethelittletacos...Ilovethemgood, i-have-issues-deal-with-it , moodiful819, TrinityFire13Guardian137, DJ HiHi Kimiko, Nakashima Fate, Dana Kishimoto, Aaml-sp5 93 percent of American Teens would have a severe emotional breakdown is someone called them a freak. If you're part of the 7 percent who will say "What was your first clue?" Copy and paste this to your profile and add you name to this list: Sunlit Goddess of C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of C.O.C.A., Evil genius of COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, Stardawn, NightOfTheTiger, Faithrose, Allan Pike, The Worst Nightmare (I'm a freak and very proud of it, thank you very much),Pinetail, Maj Enn, xxouchibitmytonguexx, Aaya-Kun, Nobody 08, Aamlsp-5 96% of girls would cry if they saw Justin Bieber about to jump from a very high plane 20,000 feet in the air with no parachute. If you're in the 4% that would bring a cooler of food and drinks and a lawn chair and watch then copy and paste this in your profile. (I'd video tape it!) Girl: Do I ever cross your mind? A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle Girl:Slow down, I'm scared! Guy:No, this is fun. Girl:No, it's not. Please, I'm scared. Guy:Then tell me you love me. Girl:I love you, now slow down! Guy: Now give me a big hug. She gives him a big hug Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me. In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this into your profile if you would do this for someone you love. You know you live in 2009 when... 1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave. 2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years. 3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screen name or myspace. 4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote than push the buttons on the TV. 6.) Your boss doesn't have the ability to do your job. 7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling. 8.) As you read this list you're thinking about sending it to all your friends. 9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5. 10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5. 11.) Now you're laughing at yourself stupidly. 12.)Copy and paste this into your profile if you fell for it and I know you did. READ THIS I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian. I am the prostitute working on the streets because no one will hire a transsexual woman. I am the sister who holds her gay brother through the painful, tear-filled nights. We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time. I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room. I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away form the two fathers who are the only loving family I have. I wish they could adopt me. I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I'll probably be able to walk again. I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply to much to bear. We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men. I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me. I am the mother who is not even allowed to visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman. I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman. I am the domestic-violence survivor that has no support system to turn to because I am male. I am the father that never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men. I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that. I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized that I was transsexual. I am the person who feels guilty because I feel like I could be a much better person if I did not always have to deal with society hating me. I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they have closed the doors to "my kind". I am the person who has to hide what the world needs most. Love. I am the person who is afraid to tell his loving Christian parents that he loves another male. I am the teen-aged Californian who is being denied the right to marry based on the way I love. I'm not even in love yet. - Pick your birth month. JANUARY: FEBRUARY: MARCH: APRIL: MAY: JUNE: JULY: AUGUST: SEPTEMBER: OCTOBER: NOVEMBER: DECEMBER: IF YOU AGREE THAT STEREOTYPES ARE SHITTY, COPY AND PASTE THESE TO YOUR PROFILE: (BOLD THOSE THAT APPLY TO YOU) I'M CANADIAN, so I MUST be French, live in an igloo, and live off of maple syrup and beer. You remember watching Doug, Ren & Stimpy, Pinky and the Brain, Bobby's World, Felix the cat, The Tick...AAAAAAAH Real Monsters! Before we realized all this would eventually disappear. (BOLD those that apply to you.)YOUR GUY SIDE: You love hoodies. TOTAL: 15 YOUR GIRL SIDE: You wear lip gloss/stick. Total: 4 January I killed -Pick the day you were born on- 1 A banana -Pick the color of the shirt you wearing- White Because a hoe stole my taco. I loved a banana, cuz I'm gangsta my home skillett and biscutz. xD COPY AND PASTE THIS TO YOUR PROFILE IF YOU LOOK AT PEOPLE'S PROFILES TO FIND RANDOM CRAP LIKE THIS. 25 WAYS 2 ANNOY YOUR PARENTS! 1. Follow them around the house everywhere. This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murderer chanted, "Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. Did you know... kissing is healthy. bananas are good for period pain. it's good to cry. chicken soup actually makes you feel better. 94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers. lying is actually unhealthy. you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes. it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you. 89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move. it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed. chocolate will make you feel better. most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing. a good friend never judges. a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any. boys aren't worth your tears. we all love surprises. Now... make a wish. Wish REALLY hard!! WISH WISH WISH WISH Your wish has just been recieved. Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and... Your wish will be granted. Do you live with or know about child abuse? If you do, or don't read the poem below, copy and paste it into your profile, you never know it just might make someone feel better and give them hope. My name is Sarah. I am but three, My eyes are swollen I cannot see, I must be stupid I must be bad What else could have made My daddy so mad? I wish I were better I wish I weren't ugly, Then maybe my mommy Would still want to hug me. I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong Or else I'm locked up All the day long. When I awake I'm all alone The house is dark My folks aren't home When my mommy does come I'll try and be nice, So maybe I'll get just One whipping tonight. Don't make a sound! I just heard a car My daddy is back From Charlie's Bar. I hear him curse My name he calls I press myself Against the hard wall I try and hide From his evil eyes I'm so afraid now I'm starting to cry He finds me weeping He shouts ugly words, He says its my fault That he suffers at work. He slaps me and hits me And yells at me more, I finally get free And I run for the door. He's already locked it And I start to bawl, He takes me and throws me Against the hard wall. I fall to the floor With my bones nearly broken, And my daddy continues With more bad words spoken. "I'm sorry!", I scream But its now much too late His face has been twisted Into unimaginable hate The hurt and the pain Again and again Oh please God, have mercy! Oh please let it end! And he finally stops And heads for the door, While I lay there motionless Sprawled on the floor My name is Sarah And I am but three, Tonight my daddy Murdered me. There are thousands of kids out there just like Sarah. And you can help. Sickens me to my soul, and if you just read this and don't pass it on I pray for your forgiveness, cause you would have to be one heartless person to not be affected by this story. And because you are affected, do something about it!! So all I am asking you to do, is take some time to send this on and acknowledge that this stuff does happen, and that people like her dad do live in our society,and I pray for child abuse to wither out and die,but also pray for the safety of our youth. Please pass this poem on because as crazy as it might sound,it might just indirectly change a life. Hey, you NEVER know. Please put this on your site if you areAGAINST CHILD ABUSE baCk iT uPP XxX Child Abuse XxX COPY AND PASTE INTO PROFILE (I am not a victim, but this was really sad. It moved me. Please. Help stop child abuse.) Try Not To Cry Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school, He told his friends that it was cool, And when he pulled the trigger back, It shot with a great, huge crack. Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told, I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold! When I went to school that day, I never said good-bye. I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry. When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another, And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother. Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much, And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush. And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now, And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class, And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though, deserves this. But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss. And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry. Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest, But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could Please listen to me if you would, I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid, I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live. But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late, Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry I had to cancel the date. I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you" In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech Now you have 2 choices, 1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as Racism is wrong and can often times destroy people's self confidence. It's a horrible and cruel way to treat people. To prove that we are all alike, try this simple experiment: Hold your hand up to a light of some kind. You'll see a shadow cast nearby. Now, have someone of a different race hold their hand up too. You'll see, essentially, the same image. Five fingers and a palm. Skin color doesn't matter when you get right down to it. If you are against racism, copy this message and my symbol for equality to your profile. 'Thats so cheerleader who can't like say smart stuff!' Think thats mean? How do you think 'thats so gay!' sounds? Hurtful. Knock it off. If you support gay rights, and you're against homophobia, copy and paste this to your profile. I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back. The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.' Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?'' The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. 'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.' I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.' His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.'' My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.' Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.' 'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.' Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?'' 'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!' Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!'' 'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.'' 'My mommy loves white roses.' A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him. Now you have 2 choices: 1) Repost this message, or 93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, Battleground Heart, Kaity the Chameleon, xX-Arianna-hime-Xx, Lillith Black, MewCuxie12, Rawr I'm Kitty Vanity, Aaml-sp5, If you belive that the pink bunnies of doom are really out to get you copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever wondered why someone decided to milk a cow, copy/paste this in your profile. If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters...copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have ever insulted someone so stupid that they didn't get the insult, copy this into your profile There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile. If you have so much "Copy&Paste" stuff on your profile you think you deserve an award for it Copy&Paste this onto your profile. If Fanfiction to you is what Facebook is to other people, copy this into your profile. To Every Girl: To every girl that is SCARED to To every girl that has been To every girl that To every girl who To every girl that will spend her To every girl who gets her heart To every girl that would die To every girl who would just once To every girl that cries at night To every girl that won't get To every girl that To every girl that To every girl who To every girl who would just To every girl who To every girl who lies To every girl that To every girl that To every girl who shows how much To every girl that thought To every girl that laughs at stupid stuff To every girl who is just To every girl that doesn't want To every girl who wants To every girl that fell for all the lies To every girl that gave her heart away To every girl that has faith that If you are a nice girl put this on you profile under the title : "To every girl." Girls I OWE MY MOTHER 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why." 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me." 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." 7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about." 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper." 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!" 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone." 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it." 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!" 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out." 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!" 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do." 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home." 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!" 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way." 19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?" 20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me." 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father." 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?" 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand." 25. My mother taught me SHAPE-SHIFTING. "You'll turn into a sausage if you eat any more. 26. My mother taught me CONSEQUENCES. "If you don't tidy your room, there'll be hell to pay." And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you." FEMALE COMEBACKS! Man: Where have you been all my life? Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Man: Is this seat empty? Man: Your place or mine? Man: So, what do you do for a living? Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Man: Your body is like a temple. Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together Man: Your eyes they're amazing. 7 Ways to Scare your roommates: 7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon..." 6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil. 5) Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks. 4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan. 3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where the heck is my sandwich?" Complain loudly that you are hungry. 2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?" 1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer. 30 THINGS 2 DO IN AN ELEVATOR 1. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you. 2. Ask if you can push the button for other people, but intentionally push the wrong ones. 3. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for a friend. After a while let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?" (imaginary friend) 4. Drop something and wait until someone goes to pick it up and then scream, "That's mine!" 5. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator. 6. Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on ask if they have an appointment. 7. Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they would like to play. 8. Randomly ask, "Did you feel that?" When they look at you curiously, begin to explain your theory that a troll has made its way into the building, become more panicked by the minute. 9. Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally. As they are getting off, tell them you "know of a medicine that can cure that." 10. When the doors close, announce to the others in a voice of forced calm, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!" 11. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!" 12. Crack open your briefcase or purse and peer inside periodically while whispering, "Got enough air in there?" 13. Stand silently and motionless in the corner facing the wall, without getting off. If someone approaches you, turn around and try to bite them. 14. Stare at another passenger for a while and then announce in horror, "You're one of THEM!" and back away slowly. 15. Stare manically and grin at another passenger for an extended amount of time before announcing, "I have new socks on." 16. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers in an unnecessarily loud voice, "This is MY personal space!" 17. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button! 18. Scream, "They are coming for me!" when the doors open. 19. Every time the elevator doors open say, "Ding." 20. Meow occasionally 21. When it comes your turn to get off, go up to the door and strain to pull them open, when they open by themselves act embarrassed. 22. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?" 23. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone. 24. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more. 25. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers. 26. Swat at flies that don't exist. 27. Call out "Group hug" then enforce it 28. Say "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons. 29. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off. 30. Greet everyone with a handshake and ask that they call you Admiral. 16 Things to do in Wal-Mart! 1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens. 4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" 8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. 9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are. 10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" 12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!" 13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!" 14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here! 15. Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting, "Go, Pikachu, Go" 16. Go into the candy Isle and scream, " WHY DOES MY TOOTH HURT?" RANDOM THINGS 1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest. 3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. 4. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't. 5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool. 6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong. 7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog. 8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it. 9. The things that come to those who wait, will be the things left by those who got there first. 10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer. 11. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries. 12. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room. 13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. 14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. 15. If the shoe fits, buy it in every color! Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile! 99.8 of anime fans are obsessing over Naruto. If you are the last few of the clan who can think up three better animes than this, paste this on your profile. Sorry Naruto fans. If you are crazy and/or insane and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile. If you hear voices in your head, copy and paste this onto your profile! If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile. If you ever suffered from FanFiction withdrawal copy this into your profile! If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile. If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever talked/sang to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. If you're weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar copy this into your profile. If you've ever spent a long amount of time looking for something that you were holding/wearing, copy this to your profile and add your name: Unique girl - YAYZ, Fast Talking Dolphin, Rawr I'm Kitty Vanity, Aaml-sp5 If you've gotten completely zoned out of a conversation that you don't even remember what you were talking about copy and paste this in your profile. If you are bored copy and paste this in your profile. If you think that looks don't matter (well most of the time you think that) copy and paste this in your profile. If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile. If there are times when you just want to annoy people for the hell of it... copy and paste this into your profile. There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird... Copy and paste this into your profile if you agree. If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, whether it is another person or not copy this into your profile. If you've ever seen a movie so many time you can quote it word for word, copy this to your profile. If you have ever burst out laughing at something in a book, copy this to your profile. If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy this into your profile. If you think it's stupid that girls are associated with the color pink, copy and paste this into your profile. My best friend is insane. If you have an insane friend, copy this into your profile. No more shall we tolerate flamers that flame for stupid reasons such as for pairings, who wrote the story, and just because they can! Copy and paste this into your profile if you want to join the organization called "Stop Flamers Now" If you think that Writer's Block blows (sucks), copy and paste this into your profile. If you are obsessed with fanfiction, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think that it's not fair that the guys in manga and anime are almost always better than the guys in the real world, copy and paste this in your profile! If you have a wide range variety of interests, copy and paste this into your profile. FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you. FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall. FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince. FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. FRIENDS: Will pass you a soda. FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain. FRIENDS: Will help you move. FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail. FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. Friends will help you learn to drive, best friends will help you roll the car into a lake to collect the insurance money. A good friend will bail you out of jail, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying "damn that was fun". Friends will help you find your way when you're lost, best friends will be the one messing with your compass, stealing your map and giving you bad directions FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough. FRIENDS: Would read and ignore this. Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. Smile. It confuses people. Bravery is just a nice way of saying stupidity. So... what you're saying is, I should cancel my plans to invade China. Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed. Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you keep on talking. No I won't go to hell! They have a restraining order against me! Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that. If everything seems to being going well...you have OBVIOUSLY overlooked something... Mello shoots anyone who calls him a girl, I shoot any bitch who touches my chocolate. Let the battle begin. You call me a bitch, bitch is another word for dog, a dog barks, bark is on trees, trees are part of nature, nature, nature is beautiful, you just called me beautiful, thanks for the compliment. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out. Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss. You were born an original... don't die a copy. A day without sunshine is like... night. Everything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening. No, I don't have PMS. I just really hate you. It's okay, pluto. I'm not a planet either. God, give me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the strength to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to hide the dead bodies of the people I had to kill because they annoyed me. If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots? If you jog backwards, will you gain weight? When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it. I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? Have you ever wondered which hurts most: Saying something and wishing you hadn’t; or saying nothing and wishing you had? Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it. "Go forth and set the world on fire." screw the metaphorical, literal all the way. It's always the last place you look...of course it is, why the hell would I keep looking after I found it? Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much. It is a sad day when you fail your IQ test. Its an even sadder day day when you fail your gender test. I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not. You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it. I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love I’m not clumsy…the floor just hates me. Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems? I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good, either. An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed. An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if the doctor is cute, screw the fruit. How is it possible to have a civil war? Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES! Most people learn by observation, and there are the few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot. I smile because I have no idea what's going on! Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to. If you don't like the way I drive, then get off the sidewalk. Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin? Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well, I think the gun helps, cuz if you just stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think too many people would die. I'm not insane... I just do whatever the voices tell me to. Kids are the future. Be afraid, be very afraid! Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door. Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging! My mind works like lightning...one brilliant flash and it's gone. Curiosity killed the cat, and satisfaction brought her back. In a dog-eat-dog world the best thing to do is become a cat. If the good die young then the bad die old; thus leaving us with only politicians left. Goldfish have the memory span of 3 seconds, sometimes I have to wonder if I'm a goldfish. A simple friend wonders about your romantic history. A real friend could blackmail you with it. A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names. A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book. A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest. A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps themselves. Even if the voices aren't real they have some good ideas. I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive. Distance means nothing to me - it only makes me want to see you more. Love is giving someone the power to destroy you, but trusting them not to. If the world didn't suck we'd all fall off. Life sucks then you die. You're Funny, but looks aren't everything. Boys, otherwise known as ass holes with hollow heads. Silence is golden, duck tape is silver. I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant. I am ready to meet my maker, whether or not my maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is a whole other matter. MENstrual pain, MENstrual cramps, MENtal anxiety, MENopause... godamnit... all of our problems start with MEN! aerodynamically, the bumblebee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn't know it, so it keeps flying anyway. It was never love that broke her heart it was losing that love that tore her apart. Are we fighting?" The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist? Patience isn’t a virtue; it’s a waste of time Haters are your biggest fans An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth leaves the world full of toothless blind people I did not slap you. I simply high fived your face. You're a great friend but if the zombies chase us, I'm tripping you. Why the heck do you have my cookie in your hands? DROP IT NOW!! Not only do I fall down stairs; I trip up them as well. Now that takes talent! I didn't fall for you; you tripped me. Note to self: It is illegal to stab (hurt/duct tape/etc) people for being stupid. Side by side or miles apart, friends are forever, close to your heart. Don't follow in my footsteps... I run into walls. OMG! OMG! OMG!...Wait, I forgot. Normal people worry me. It’s great to know your opinion even though no one cares. Boys are like slinkys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs. I've learned...that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends =) Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun! Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over. You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then I like you. When the world is mine, your death shall be quick and painless. I can't cry hard enough for you to hear me. boys are like purses, cute, full of crap, and easy to replace. One day, your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions. Why don't you slip into something comfortable; like a coma. I will gladly help you. Define 'normal' When in doubt...throw a chair. If the opposite of pro is con, what's the opposite of Progress? Only two things are infinite: 1) The universe. 2) Human stupidity There are few problems that can not be solved with large amounts of explosives. I'm not crazy. I'm psychotic. There's a difference. I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it. There's nothing that can't be fixed by: A) duct tape B) chocolate or C) running it over. I prefer option C. Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. I'd tell you to go to hell, but I work there and really don't want to see you everyday. My mind isn't twisted, it's sprained. Common sense is the enemy of comedy. Knowledge is power; Power is the root of all evil. Therefore study evil and excel at it. Money can't buy happiness. Money is happiness. A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths The cops never find it as funny as you do Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else. Why do today what you could put off till tomorrow? Education is important, school however, is another matter. -That, my children, is called a wall. But beware the wall is solid. Yes be afraid! Be very afraid for we cannot walk through it! Believe me children, for I have attempted this many times before. -Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them. -I got an A in philosophy because I proved my professor doesn’t exist. -If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either. -Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are the same number of letters? -Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them? -There are no stupid questions – just a bunch of inquisitive idiots. -Politics is war without bloodshed. War is politics with bloodshed. -High School Musical 3 and Saw V were the two top movies at the box office when they opened. One depicted gruesome on screen torture. The other was about a guy with a saw. -It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face. -People say satire is dead. It’s not dead. It’s alive and living in the White House. -I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens. -I do not deny everything. -Sometimes the mind, for reasons we do not necessarily understand, just decides to go the store for a quart of milk. -The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it is unfamiliar territory. -Always proofread to make you sure you don’t any words out. -I'm not short I'm fun sized. -Love me or hate me, personally, I could care less -Unless you've lived my life, don't judge me because you don't know, never have & never will know every little thing & detail about me -When you get caught looking at him, remember he was looking back. -Girls are like phones, we love to be held, and talked to but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected! -I'm the type of girl who will burst out laughing in dead silence over something that happened a year ago -Isn't it ironic . . . we ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love those who hurt us -Do you want to know why I'm still on earth? Heaven kicked me out and hell is afraid I'll take over -Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most. -Before you criticize some one, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you’re a mile away and you still have their shoes. -When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep-- not screaming, like the passengers in his car. -Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and freak slap that *insert harsh word here* upside the head. -I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse. -A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws. Probies headslap each other! -What happens if you get scared half to death twice? -We could all take a lesson from crayons: some are sharp, some are beautiful, some have weird names, all are different colors, but they still learn to live in the same box. -I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it. -You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same. -A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. -Love your enemies! It really pisses them off. -Shut up voices! Or I'll poke you with a Q-tip again! -Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up. Random Questions: If the sky is the limit, then what is space? Over the limit? Are children who act in 'R' rated moves allowed to see them? Why is it when an adult with the mind of a child is locked up and put in a asylum, while children are allowed to run in the streets? Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it? If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later? Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out." ? Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out of its butt."? Isn't Disneyland just a people trap operated by a mouse? Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse? Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in 'mother in law', they come out to 'Woman Hitler'? Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning many, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'? Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are crazy? Why is it when some products you have to turn upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn down? If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2? If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots? If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers? If corn oil is made from corn, where do we get baby oil from? If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit? If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch? 364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that? Can vegetarians eat Animals Crackers? The Stupidest Things On Products On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." Oops. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." Noo!!! It will be cold!! On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?) On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.) On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." Rip off On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." Space counts right? On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (I gotta admit, I'm curious.)--same the the person that I C&P from On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." NO WAY! On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". (Fake pig!? You sick company!) On a Myer hairdryer:"Do not use while sleeping." (hmm...) On an American Airlines packet of nuts:"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."(Wow. That's really helpful) On a child's superman costume:"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly". (Dream killers!) On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands". (To late.) On a package of pasta after the cooking instructions:"Put on fork and eat." (No! Really? We're supposed to eat food?!) On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how??) On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But, it's just a suggestion). Step 1: Step 2: Step 3: If someone asks "Is this okay?" you say? MUSIC MOVIE: Opening Credits: Don't Stop Believin'- Glee Cast INTERMISSION RULE 1 RULE 2 Asked someone to marry you? Kissed one of your Facebook friends? Danced on a table in a bar? Ever told a lie? Had feelings for someone whom you can't have back? Slept in until 5 PM? Fallen asleep at work/school? Held a snake? Been suspended from school? Worked at a fast food restaurant? Stolen from a store? Been fired from a job? Done something you regret Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Kissed in the rain? Sat on a roof top? Sang in the shower? Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? Shaved your head? Slept naked? Danced with no clothes on? Made everyone's ears bleed due to your bad singing? Made up a boyfriend/girlfriend? Been in a band? Shot a gun? Donated Blood? Eaten alligator meat? Eaten cheesecake? Still love someone you shouldn't? Have/had a tattoo Like someone, but will never tell who? Been too honest? Ruined a surprise? Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you cant walk afterwards? Erased someone in your friends list? Dressed in a woman's clothes (if your a guy) or man's clothes (if your a girl)? Joined a pageant? Been told that you're handsome or beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said? Had communication with your ex? Dated Someone? Got totally drunk one night and you have an important exam tomorrow morning? A total stranger treat you by paying your public transportation fare? Get so angry that you cried? Pass out in a drunken state? Thought something you shouldn't have about someone? Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dyslexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you. BEEP! QUESTIONS: 1. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR BEDROOM? 2. WHAT MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO? 3. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW? 4. WHO DO YOU MISS? 5. IS ANYONE IN LOVE WITH YOU OR HAS A CRUSH ON YOU? 6. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU KISSED? 7. WHAT’S YOUR MIDDLE NAME? 8. THE BEST TV SHOW EVER CREATED: 9. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK? 10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOGNE / PERFUME? 11. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX? 12. IF YOU CAN EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE? 13. DO YOU SPEAK ANOTHER LANGUAGE? 14. WHAT WAS THE FIRST GIFT SOMEONE EVER GAVE YOU? 15. DO YOU LIKE SOMEONE? 16. WHAT’S YOUR DREAM CAR? 17. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU? 18. BLONDS OR BRUNETTES? 19. WHAT IS THE ONE NUMBER YOU CALL OFTEN? 20. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF YOUR COUNTRY? WHERE DID YOU GO? WHAT PLACE DID YOU LIKE BEST? 21. YOUR WEAKNESSES? 22. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED THIS OUT? 23. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF ALCOHOL BECAME ILLEGAL? 24. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY? 25. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT? 26. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING CD ON THE SHELF? 27. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? 28. DO YOU USE SARCASM? 29. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES? Nona, Nonz, and Kewpie 30. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT THE MOMENT? Top 10: 31. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE BAND? 32. DID YOU GO ANYWHERE SPECIAL THIS YEAR? 33. WHATS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE MORNING? 34. FAVOURITE DRINK: 35. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES? |
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