I live in a relatively nice apartment. I recently paid off my med school debts. I have an on-and-off again girlfriend that makes me feel both impossibly miserable and extraordinarily good. I'm not friends with Desmond Miles, but occasionally we get along. And I don't always keep strange men in my apartment, but when I do, they're exceptionally mouth-watering and very tempting.

Sheik and Zelda are good at putting on a show. They're good at being pretty Princess Zelda, and then deranged Sheik to deal a final blow. Neither are good at keeping the same body. Sheik splits and the two are stuck in the mansion trying to keep up the appearance that Zelda and her insane alter ego, are one and the same. Ike doesn't believe it.