If you have ever read my work and wondered "where the hell is she now?" (lol as if i'm that famous), well wonder no longer. Because now you know I'm drowning in a pool of procrastination of my own making. However, I've been reading a lot more stories from all the amazing, creative people on this site recently. I really want to get back into writing fanfiction. Hope I can get some stuff out there from now on.

Why You Shouldn't Support Gay Marriage:

1. It’s Not Natural

Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2. Other People Will Be Gay

Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3. It Will Lead To Other Crazy Behavior

Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4. Marriage Isn’t Open To Change

Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all. Women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5. The Sanctity of Marriage Will Be Broken

Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed. The sanctity of Britney Spears’ 55-hour-just-for-fun and Kim Kardashian’s 72-day-highly-profitable marriage would be destroyed.

6. Marriage Should Produce Children

Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.

7. Gay Parents = Gay Kids

Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8. It Is Not Supported By Religion

Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.

9. A Male And Female Role Model Is Required

Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressively forbid single parents to raise children.

10. It Will Change the Foundation Of Society

Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. We could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the downfall economy, or longer life spans.

Update: Many thanks to my very first reviewer, jilyjackson! When I write new fanfiction, I will always think of you!