"Life is ever changing...yet why can't we accept that? Why can't we, the rulers and decision makers of Earth, accept the simple fact that life is ever changing? It just pisses me off, but what can you do about it? Nothing! The only thing you can do is make the changes work in your favor or others close to you." -Me, from two years ago

"To be or not to be...That is the great question of this world." -Shakespeare

"Dreams are meant to be understood and looked into. Don't ever ignore a dream, for if you do, you will deeply regret it as soon as you do." -Jayaj Namikaze, The Great White Flash

"My pain is your pain, so if you stab me in the back, I stab you right back." -Stranger in downtown Arizona

"There are three stages to admitting you have a problem. First, you say you have the problem. Second, you try to overcome the problem by gentle means. Third, and only if number two doesn't work, you face the problem, say "Fuck you and go to Hell with Kyuubi-plushie", and blast them with a Wind Style: Helldropper Rasengan." -Another random author on Fanfiction.net

"Remember, remember, the tenth of October. The day the earth stood still to watch a plushie destroy a village by itself. Although said plushie was a little too big for a little girl to hug and pet...or too dangerous."

"When life hands you a little present called 'snake anti-depressants', chuck it back at her head and yell, "I don't want to hang out with Orochi-pedo! He grabs little children and rapes them with a hickie!""

"I pray to my master of all creation and you pray to your's. What is the difference, you may ask? Mine just killed yours with a fiery molten ball of magma and lightning and your's is now laying on the ground, smoking like a toasted turkey at Thanksgiving."

"Pray that you will have a swift, merciful death and it shall be granted...wel, just the death part."

"My soul is designed to eat people, but I don't think mine is going to be able to eat your evil one."

"Focus on the danger, the epicness, the awesomeness of my powers...,then and only then, can you face me."

"My dreams are to annoy a special someone till they die from it, to do a prank on an important role model once, and to meet the Govenator at least once."

"Talk to the hand or prepare to face my ungodly wrath!"

"This hobby allows me to beat, pummel, burn, and destory stuff, so why are you so desperate to get me away from cooking when it is saving your hide at this very moment?"

"The gods must hate me, cause I have seen over three billion women and not one was even slightly attractive to me."

"So...You have a skeleton in your closet and yet, you claim it isn't yours? What are you, a emo-liar or a perverted cyclops?"

"My teacher is a pervert, my master is a pervert, my dad is a pervert, and my girlfriend is a pervert. How the hell am I not one yet?"

"My slaves, rejoice! I have come to give you all a promotion! You will now be grunts!!"

Name: The One, the Only, Logan Draknor the Great!! I believe in everything that deals with epic things!!

Age: The One never speaks of his age...except when you ask very, very nicely!! But if you are really curious, I am 17 years old and still growing!

Gender: I AM MALE!!

Height: A rather tall guy at the awesome height of 6ft 6 inches

Weight: Kinda heavy for my appearance but it comes with muscles that can stand 10 miles of straight swimming, no breaks woot!

Home Country: US of A's!!

Languages: English and German, although my friends think I made up a new one and nicknamed it "Draknornese".

Eye Colour: Changes from season to season. Summer it's kinda like a smoldering blue and winter it's a soft azure

Hair Colour: Dirty Blonde mixed with a hint of red and brown. Strange, right?

Fav Anime: Naruto, Shippunden, Bleach, Pokemon (no longer), All Dragonball seasons

Fav Colour: Believe it or not, its a silvery blue mixed with my own eye color

Fav Word: Interesting...Best word to get you out of awkward situations!

Fav Food: SPAGHETTI!! I AM NOW GOING TO GO PIG OUT ON SOME NOW!!

Fav Drink: Fresh Orange Juice or Strawberry Lemonade

Fav Book: The Mortal Instrument Series. EPIC STORYLINE AND strange beyond belief relationships

Likes: Friends, eating, reading, writing, drawing, playing World of Warcraft, trying to find my one true love, hitting perverts with my drawing book, Hina-hime, and figuring out how my math teacher can sneak up on me with my headphones out.

Dislikes: Sasuke-teme, murderers, rapists, pedophiles, pedophiles who like me, evil teachers, evil sophomores, bullying, and any veggie that gives off a strong 'DONT EAT ME' smell.

Fav Pairings: Naru/Hina, Naru/Saku (if well written), Kaka/Anko, FemNaru/Hina

FUTURE PLOTS AND ENEMIES/OCS!!

No new plots at the moment...

New Ranks: V is the step beyond SSS-rank and if anyone is classified as such, run for your freaking lives. VV-rank means you just met up with a god and are about to die.

The Nameless (Neutral): A group of SSS-class ninja that are bounded together with binding seals. Their only goal is to stop the rise of anything 'godlike' on the planet, which includes the heroes too. If a bad person defeats them, the world will soon end. Members are: Yora Hi, Jen Diso, Horn Gracel, Lionel Kyokanar, and Highlan Draknor.

Forsoken Kyokanar (Evil VV-Class): Warlord genius of the Forsaken Armies. Commands death jutsu and tons of elemental styles, including the Thunder Fist taijutsu style. His main ability is to literally suck the life out of a person.

Kamikan Jidori (Good SS-Class): The human version of Kami's servant. Helps the good achieve great things, while detering all bad things. Main ability is to cast genjutsu with songs.

Forin Namikaze (Good): Can't reveal too much or else I would give the surprise away!

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Choose--me or your life

Boy: My life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile

Also, if you cried from that, Then I am proud to recognize your true heart! Even men are allowed to cry at such romantic scenes and stories!

Ten Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter by Hyuuga Hiashi WRITTTEN BY SHAWNY WONG!!

Rule One: If you come up to gates of the Hyuuga estate and announce your presence you’d better be delivering an important message from the Hokage, because you’re sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered practical for boys of your age to remove their shirts when they have been training for hours on end. Presumably, this is to ensure that you do not overheat while you are training outdoors. Please don’t take this as an insult but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. We do have air conditioned dojos and indoor training halls for a reason. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may remove your shirts and tops whenever and wherever you want, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your pants do not, accidentally, come off during any time spent with my daughter, I will take my senbon and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex with the wrong kunoichi can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, my daughter is that kunoichi, and I will kill you.

Rule Five: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about recent missions, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."

Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than sculpting the Hokage Monument. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like sweeping my floors?

Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, ninja patrols, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay. Chunin exam tournaments are okay. Morino Ibiki’s interrogation chambers are better. (Speaking of which, Ibiki owes me a favor. Would you like me to make an appointment for you? It’s no trouble.)

Rule Nine: Do not lie to me. I am a master of the Byakugan – that makes me a living lie detector. I can see every involuntary twitch, every breath, and each bead of sweat on your face. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have an army of elite Byakugan users at my beck and call. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten: Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your steps coming up to my front gate for an enemy Cloud ninja sent here to steal the secrets of the Byakugan. You remember what happened to the last Cloud ninja who crossed me, don’t you? Incidentally, I will be cleaning and polishing the family katana as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you set one foot on my property you should submit yourself to a full body search by my guards, remove all hidden weapons from your person, and keep both hands in plain sight. Announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then leave - there is no need for you to come inside. You may not see me, but rest assured. I see you.

Fourty-Nine laws of Anime:

Originally compiled and edited by Darrin Bright and Ryan Shellito

1. Law of Metaphysical Irregularity
The normal laws of physics do not apply.

2. Law of Differentiated Gravitation
Whenever someone or something jumps, is thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborne, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4.

3. Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics
In space, loud sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.

4. Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion
In space, constant thrust equals constant velocity.

5. Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion
The larger a mechanical device is, the faster it moves. Armored Mecha are the fastest objects known to human science.

6. Law of Temporal Variability
Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero whenever he does something 'cool' or 'impressive'. Time slows down when friends and lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.

7. First Law of Temporal Mortality
'Good Guys' and 'Bad Guys' both die in one of two ways. Either so quick they don't even see it coming, OR it's a long drawn out affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human existence or why the toast always lands butter side down.

8. Second Law of Temporal Mortality
It takes some time for bad guys to die... regardless of physical damage. Even when the 'Bad Guys' are killed so quickly they didn't even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.

9. Law of Dramatic Emphasis
Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are depicted with either still-frames or black screens with a slash of bright color (usually red or white).

10, Law of Dramatic Multiplicity
Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a 'Good Guy' kicks the 'Bad Guy' in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3 different angles.

11. Law of Inherent Combustibility
Everything explodes. Everything.
First Corollary - Anything that explodes bulges first.
Second Corollary - Large cities are the most explosive substances known to human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities, sometimes referred to as "The Matchstick City".

12. Law of Phlogistatic Emission
Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.

13. Law of Energetic Emission
There is always an energy build up (commonly referred to as an energy 'bulge') before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the Law of Inherent Combustibility.

14. Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude
The destructive potential of a weapon is inversly proportional to its size.
First Corollary - Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also know as the A-Ko phenomenon.

15. Law of Inexhaustibility
No one EVER runs out of ammunition. That is of course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious.

16. Law of Inverse Accuracy
The accuracy of a 'Good Guy' when operating any form of fire-arm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the 'Bad Guys' when operating fire-arms decreases when the difficulty of the shot decreases. (Also known as the Stormtrooper Effect)
Example: A 'Good Guy' in a drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and several battalions of 'Bad Guys' firing on a 'Good Guy' standing alone in the middle of an open field will always miss.
First Corollary - The more 'Bad Guys' there are, the less likely they will hit anyone or do any real damage.
Second Corollary - Whenever a 'Good Guy' is faced with insurmountable odds, the 'Bad Guys' line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a single burst of automatic fire and then escape.
Third Corollary - Whenever a 'Good Guy' is actually hit by enemy fire, it is in a designated 'Good Guy Area', usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm, which restricts the 'Good Guy' from doing anything more strenuous than driving, firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex martial arts maneuvres.

17. Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability
Minmei is a bimbo.

18. Law of Hemoglobin Capacity
The human body contains over 12 gallons of blood, sometimes more, under high pressure.

19. Law of Demonic Consistency
Demons and other supernatural creatures have at least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown (but black is not unknown), and can only be hurt by bladed weapons.

20. Law of Militaristic Unreliability
Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and large war-machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a song.

21. Law of Tactical Unreliability
Tactical geniuses aren't...

22. Law of Inconsequential Undetectability
People never notice the little things... Like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle.

23. Law of Juvenile Intellectuality
Children are smarter than adults. And almost always twice as annoying.

24. Law of Americanthropomorphism
Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles, either as a really nasty skinny 'Bad Guy' or a big stupid 'Good Guy'.
First Corollary - The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb Americans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line Effect.)
Second Corollary - The only people who are more stupid than the American translators are the American editors and censors.

25. Law of Mandibular Proportionality
The size of a person's mouth is directly proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating.

26. Law of Feline Mutation
Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably:
a) be female
b) will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation
c)and wear as little clothing as possible, if any.

27. Law of Conservation of Firepower
Any powerful weapon capable of destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and used only as a last resort.

28. Law of Technological User-Benevolence
The formal training required to operate a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.

29. Law of Melee Luminescence
Any being displaying extremely high levels of martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing aura. This aura is usually blue for 'good guys' and red for 'bad guys'. This is attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.

30. Law of Non-anthropomorphic Antagonism
All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.

31. Law of Follicular Chroma Variability
Any color in the visible spectrum is considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or explanation.

32. Law of Follicular Permanence
Hair in anime is pretty much indestructible, and can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone's hair is the same way you deal with demons... with bladed weapons!

33. Law of Topological Aerodynamics, First Law of Anime Aero-Dynamics
ANY shape, no matter how convoluted or odd-looking, is automatically aerodynamic.

34. Law of Probable Attire
Clothing in anime follows certain predictable guidelines.
--Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off the afore-mentioned female's clothes, then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the Gratuitous Shower Scene).
--Whenever there is a headwind, a Male characters will invariably wear a long cloak which doesn't hamper movement and billows out dramatically behind him.
First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability) - All anime characters are resistant to extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow.
Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability) - Bikinis render the wearer invulnerable to any form of damage.

35. Law of Musical Omnipotence
Any character capable of musical talent (singing, playing an instrument, etc.) is automatically capable of doing much more "simple" things like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so on... especially if they have never attempted these things before.

36. Law of Quitupular Agglutination
Also called "The Five-man Rule," when "Good Guys" group together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic positions, which are:
a) The Hero/Leader
b) His girlfriend
c) His Best Friend/Rival
d) A Hulking Brute
e) A Dwarf/Kid
Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include:
--Extreme Coolness
--Amazing intelligence
--Incredible Irritation

37. Law of Extradimensional Capacitance
All anime females have an extradimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment's notice.
First Corollary (The Hammer Rule) - The most common item stored is a heavy mallet, which can be used with unerring accuracy on any male who deserves it. Other common items include costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas.

38. Law of Hydrostatic Emission
Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the back of the head. When extremely stressed, embarrassed, or worried, this sweat gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid.

39. Law of Inverse Attraction
Success at finding suitable mates is inversely proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the less you get.
First Corollary Unfortunately, this law seems to apply to Otaku in the real world...

40. Law of Nasal Sanguination
When sexually aroused, males in Anime don't get erections, they get nosebleeds. No one's sure why this is, though... the current theory suggests that larger eyes means smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see Law #38 above). Females don't get nosebleeds, but invariably get one heck of a blush along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of bloodflow to that region.

41. Law of Xylolaceration
Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal swords, if not sharper.

42. Law of Juvenile Omnipotence
Always send a boy to do a man's job. He'll get it done in half the time and twice the angst.

43. Law of Quadrotriscadecophobia
There is no Law #43.

44. Law of Nominative Clamovocation
The likelihood of success and damage done by a martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced.

45. Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis
Regardless of how long or involved the transformation sequence or how many times they've seen it before, any 'Bad Guys' witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it.

46. Law of Flimsy Incognition
Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives

Female Comebacks (funny!) from lucky naruto08

Man: Have I seen you someplace before?

Woman: Yes thats why I don't go there anymore

Man: Is this seat empty?

Woman: Yes and this one will be if you sitdown

Man: Your place or mine?

Woman: Both. You go to yours and I go to mines.

Man: Hey baby, whats your sign?

Woman: Do not enter

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you

Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: Where have you been all my life?

Woman: Hiding from you

Man: If I could see you naked I'd die happy

Woman: If I saw you naked I'd die laughing

Man: So what do you do for a living?

Woman: I'm a female impersonator

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?

Woman: Unfertilized

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u next to i

Woman: Really? I'd put f and u together.

FREAKING HILARIOUS!!

Now it is time for the Stories!!

Smart-Ass - Naru/Hina AU! Naruto's life just keeps getting more complicated! Can he save the ones who cares most about?!

Chapters- 1-3 done. 4 is being worked on

Recommended Stories for the Story Lovers Out There:

Lost in the Green Seas (Naru/Saku)

Yet again, with a little extra help (Naru/Hina)

This Time for Hinata (Naru/Hina)