Hello my little minions!!( Note: IF you want to sit and read my profile all day go ahead and knock yourself out but it's really long and most of the stuff you have probably already seen.

My name is Melissa I am 14! I am currently obsessed with Harry potter! I was into Twilight but I read it to much I need Rehab!(I wasn't given the opportunity to watch/read Harry Potter for a long time so don't hate me!!)

Fav movie: My favorite movie is Harry Potter and the prisoner of Azkaban!! (Did you expect anything diffrent?)

Fav character from Twilight: My favorite character is Jane. My friends don't understand why but I love Jane. She is just so evil it's funny. I think she is just misunderstood by everyone and if everybody would stop and see her story. I think everyone would like her a ton more.

Fav character from the vampire dairies: Damon years old and I LOVE Harry Potter! I have lost my Edward and Jacob obbsession due to extreme Twilight overdose!!(I need rehab.)

Fav book: Anything Harry Potter. I am also quite fond of the immortals series.

Fav character from Harry Potter: Tom Marvolo Riddle!! Same Reason as Damon and Jane. I think hes misunderstood and in Damon's case really really really amazing/sexy/evil/even more sexy!! Hahahaha!! I have a Tom Riddle fetish! =) P.S:Hermione and Draco both rate for second!!!!!!!! And Harry for third!!!! =( Poor Harry!

Music: I'll listen to anything as long as I can understand it!!!

My favorite language: Yiddish, lets see if you can figure out this message.

העלא איינסן וואס רעדן ייִדיש. איך האָפן דעם אָנזאָג ריטשאַז איר זיכער און געזונט. איך בין אַ פרעמד פון אַמעריקע און האָבן פיגיערד אויס דיין שפּראַך. ביטע טאָן ניט נעמען העט צו דעם אָנזאָג איך בין בלויז דזשאָקינג.

Hahahaha, I bet you can't! I'll give you a cookie if you pm me with the answer!!!!!!

I took a few Harry Potter quizes recently and these are my results:

Which house I'm in Griffindor(JUST LIKE HARRY!!) =)

My Patronus is a deer/doe/stag... (What ever you want to call it!)

Which GOOD character I am Hermione((I sort of expected that. We are both total bookworms!)

Which BAD character I am Voldemort/Tom Riddle(Where the bloody hell did that come from!)

Note: I like the saying bloody hell!!

About Me:

I love Harry Potter as I have said several times before. I like to read and enjoy playing video games. Which most people think is really weird. I also love to write which is one of the reasons I am on this website. The other reason is because I have all these ideas for all kinds of books and movies but I never had a place to vent all of these ideas so they kind of got all stored up in my head and they are all I can think about. It's really obsessive to be honest. So I'm hoping everyone will read my stories and enjoy them. I have tons of ideas and these are just s few of them.

P.S: MY DAD THINKS I'M SMART, MY MOM THINKS I'M CRAZY, AND MY SISTER THINKS I'M EVIL. ALL THE SIGNS OF A MAD SCIENTIST!! MWAHAHAHA!!

My pairings:

HARRY POTTER...

Harry/oc

Ron/oc

Hermione/oc

Hermione/Draco

Fred/oc

Draco/oc

Draco/Ginny(DON'T ASK!!)

Hermione/Cedric

Cedric/oc

Voldemort/oc(REALLY DON'T ASK!!)

Tom Riddle/ Hermione

Tom Riddle/oc(He's really HOT!!)

Harry/Hermione(My newest pairing! I fell in love with this one via YouTube as always!)

TWILIGHT...

Bella/oc

Edward/NO ONE(CAUSE I'M EVIL)

Alice/Alec(DON'T ASK!!)

Rose/Jasper(SELFISH+THE ONE WHO FEELS THE SELFISHNESS!! CUTE!!)

Jane/Jasper

Jasper/oc

Esme/Marcus(DON'T ASK!!)

Nessie/Alec(AWWWWW!!)

Jacob/oc

Leah/oc

Aro/No One!!(YEP I'M STILL EVIL!!)

Caius/oc(SOMEONE HAS TO MAKE HIM SEEM NOT SO BAD!!)

THE VAMPIRE DAIRIES...

Damon/Elena

Damon/oc

Stefan/Bonnie

Damon/Bonnie

Elena/Matt

matt/Caroline

Matt/Bonnie

Katherine/Matt(I DON'T THINK THERE ARE ANY OF THESE BUT THEY WOULD BE SUCH A CUTE COUPLE!!)

Kalus/oc

Elena/oc

AND THIS CONCLUDES MY MULTITUDE OF WEIRD PAIRINGS!!

Story ideas:

None at the moment!!

LINKS TO MY CHARACTERS PICS...

Alexandria:

Hope/experiment 314:(It's the first one down and the biggest!)

Caroline:http://images.google.com/images?um=1&hl=en&client=opera&rls=en&tbs=isch:1&q=auburn+haired+brown+eyed+Anime+girl+pics&sa=N&start=40&ndsp=20

Isabelle:

Robert:

Leron:

Lianna:

THE ABOVE LINKS ARE REALLY LONG SO SORRY ABOUT THAT!!

Now here are bunch of random stuff I either think is cute/funny/sad...

IF YOU SEE POEMS IN HERE WITH TITLES AND AUTHORS AND WANT TO SEE MORE YOU CAN GO TO THIS LINK

You know you live in 2009 when...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years.

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screenname or myspace.

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV.

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did :)

One day a girl was talking to her boyfriend.

'Do you like me?' she asked.

'No,' was his reply.

'Do you think I'm pretty?'

'No,'

Her heart was breaking, she looked at him and said:

'Would you do one thing for me?'

'No,'

'Do...do you want me?'

'No,'

'So...so if I left...r-right now, would you cry?'

'No,'

The girl had had enough, she started to run away, her heart completely broken, when she felt someone place a hand on her shoulder to stop her.

'I don't like you,' the boy said as she started to pull away, 'I love you.' The girl stopped struggling against him. 'You're not pretty you're beautiful. I wouldn't do one thing for you, I'd do everything for you. I don't want you, I need you. If you left I wouldn't cry, I'd die

And they lived happily ever after.

OoOoOoOoOo

Twilight Oath

I promise to remember Bella
Each time I carelessly fall down

I promise to remember Edward
Whenever I'm out of town

I promise to obey traffic laws
For Charlies sake of course

I promise to remember Jacob
When my heart fills with remorse

I promise to remember Carlisle
When ever I am in the Emergency Room

I promise to remember Emmett
Every time there's a huge boom

I promise to to remember Rose
Whenever I see something that holds pure beauty

I promise to remember Alice
When I'm at a mall and a cute outfit spots me

I promise to remember Nessie
When I see that beautiful bronze hair

I promise to remember Esme
When someone tells me they care

I promise to remember Jasper
Whenever my stomach isn't curled

I promise to despise the Volturi
When someone speaks of dominating the world

Yes, I promise to love Twilight
Wherever I may go

So that all may see my obsession
Because I know what the Twilighters know!

oOoOoOo

A good girl is a bad girl who’s never gotten caught.

If you are a serial killer, GET THE HECK AWAY FROM ME. If you are a cereal killer, GET THE HECK AWAY FROM MY CHERRIOS.

"Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? I just want to know who the heck is drinking my freaking soda"

There is no "I" in team but there is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...

What's with the "Never enter" sign on one way doors? No... you're thinking of a wall... idiot.

Therapist = the / rapist... scary thought

They say, "People don't kill people, guns kill people." Well I think that people help. If you set a gun on the table and walked away... I don't think you'd kill too many people.

When you miss the tennis ball, always say "It went through the racket, I saw it!"

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened... yesterday.

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

Trying is the first step toward failure.

When life gives you lemons, ALTER THEIR DNA TO MAKE SUPER LEMONS!!

"Sometimes I wonder 'why is the Frisbee getting bigger?' then it hits me."

"The dinosaur’s extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide."

"Doctors say I have multiple personality disorder. We disagree with that."

“I am sick of people having a near death experiences and saying they saw the light. You know what the paramedics do when they first arrive? THEY SHINE A LIGHT IN YOUR EYE! That’s not GOD…it’s a MAGLIGHT!” ~TonyV.

Can't anybody who has a job go in the "employees only" doors at restaurants? Shouldn’t they be more specific and say "employees of this place only"?

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from

OoOoOoOoOo

What You Mean To Me ...
by Nikkie
You turned my darkness into light;
You made everything all right.
You picked me up when I was down;
You turned my life around.
If I didn't have you, what would I be?
A blessing is what you are to me.

When I needed you the most, you were there;
Even if it seemed like you didn't care.
When I didn't think I could make it another day,
You chased all my doubts away.
If I didn't have you, what would I be?
A treasure is what you are to me.

The world is full of many people, it's true;
But there is only one of you.
You fill my heart with love;
You're a God-sent gift from above.
If I didn't have you, what would I be?
An angel is what you are to me.

Lost and alone, I will no longer be;
Because you are here with me.
There is no reason to be sad;
You've taken away all the bad.
If I didn't have you, what would I be?
A best friend is what you are to me!!

Dance Of Terror
by Justbleu
Window panes come crashing down
Amidst the tears and pain
Vanishing hopes are gone and flew away
Up above through twilight
Shadows cast across the floor
Reflections of the past
Trembling thoughts of one
Dwelling deep within the soul
A mystical sense of reality
Captured by the craze
All in bewilderment
Of the shock in the wave
Creatures of the dimness
Chattering amongst the green
Everything slows in stillness
What is this we see?

OoOoOoOo

Her name was Auroura
She was only five
This is what happened
When she was alive

Her dad was a drunk
Her mom was an addict
Her parents kept her
Locked in an attic

Her only friend
was a little toy bear
It was old and worn out
And had patches of hair

She always talked to it
When no one's around
She lays there and hugs it
Not a peep of sound

Until her parents
unlock the door
Some more and more pain
She'll have to endure

A bruise on her leg
A scar on her face
Why would she be
In such a horrible place?

But she grabs her bear
And softly crys
She loves her parents
But they want her to die

She sits in the corner
Quiet but thinking,
" God, why? Why is
My life always sinking? "

Such a bad life
For a sad little kid
She'd get beaten and beaten
For anything she did

Then one night
Her mom came home high
The poor child was hit and slapped
As hours went by

Then her mom suddenly
Grabbed for a blade
It was the sharp and pointy
One that she made

She thrusted the blade
Right in her chest,
" You deserve to die
You worthless pest! "

The mom walked out
Leaving the girl slowly dying
She grabbed her bear
And again started crying

Police showed up
At the small little house
They quickly barged in
Everything was as quiet as a mouse

One officer slowly
Opened a door
To find the sad little girl
Lying on the floor

It must have been bad
To go through so much harm
But at least she died
With her best friend in her arms

If you hate child abuse then post this on your profile.

OoOoOoOoO

Note: Don't read this if you are objective to cussing and/or sexual reference! Also if you would like to see this video go to YouTube and type in wizard rap! Disclaimer: I do not own the rap below!

Voldemort: I'm the darkest dark wizzard in all of history. I'll slay your ass out like Cedric diggory. With a wave of my finger I'll put you on the floor. Your a punk ass little kid, without Dumbledore. I'm the best wizzard rapper you ever will see. Your a peewee witch midget with a dead mommy. I've got multiple souls and can raise the dead if you think you can win then you be sorely mislead!

Harry: Ohhhh, You's a big bald fairy,You think I'm scared of you I smoked a basilisk and I'll smoke you too. I got witches in class I've got witches in the hall. If you look under my cloak you'll see my Hagrid size balls. You can't touch me son I drive magic cars. I dish out big hurt you just pass out little scars!

Voldemort: Poor little Harry, your such a darling lad. DO you miss your uncle? Your mum? Your dad? Oh, thats right I killed em' your little owl to all your friends are next I'll cut right through your crew. YOu look like Marcy from peanuts and your wand is tiny. Is that why you couldn't close the deal with Hermione? My boys are called death eaters, they're black magic studs. They'll make you disappear. THey don't care for mudbloods. You can never find me its like trying to catch smoke. You can't hide from me with your punk ass cloak! You think your invisible, but I can see through that. I'll roll up with my wand and go RAT-A-TAT-TAT!

Harry: Say it don't spray it, your breath smells like a grave. Your teeth look like tombstones and your nose is concave. Your face is like a golf ball, your face looks like a lizard. Heres the toll free number for the hair club for wizards. The toughest gang around is the Griffindor crew. Wizard drive bys is what we do. When dementors try to ice me I step right up and own em'. I crack a butter beer and say EXPECTRO PATRONUM!

AND NOW LADIES AND GENTLEMEN THE SONG YOU ALL HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THE SIRIUS BLACK RAP:

Spoken, by Malfoy:)
Oh my Lord, Crabbe, Goyle, will you look at that Potter. He thinks he's so great just because the Dark Lord gave him a cut on his head twelve years ago. But, you know, who deserves to understand the Dark Lord anyway? He only talked to Potter through that book because he wanted to take care of unfinished business, okay? I mean, Harry's friends are just so revolting, I can't believe he hangs out with that mudblood girl, and that Weasley, and his hair - it's so, black!

(Harry:)
It's my third year and I cannot lie
You other wizards can't deny
After I broke free from the Dursleys' barge
Having blown up my Aunt Marge
I escaped with my hair all mussed
Got aboard the old Knight Bus
Its speed is so exciting
You'd think Keanu was driving
The minister said, "No problem"
In the Leaky Cauldron
I thought that I'd be finished
Faster than you could say ("Qui-Qui-Quidditch")
Diagon Alley with Ron and Hermione
That book of monsters
Bite my hand off it wants ta!
Crookshanks is after Ron's pet rat Scabbers
That cat, that rat, in a Tom and Jerry spat
I heard some dreadful news
There's a madman on the loose
He killed twelve muggles with just one spell
And now he's mad as hell
So Ron ("Yeah?") Ron ("Yeah?")
Who's the world's most wanted man? ("Dunno")
That prisoner ("Prisoner?") Prisoner ("Prisoner")
Who escaped from Azkaban
Sirius Black

(Toad chorus:)
Double double toil and trouble
Fire burn and cauldron bubble
Double double toil and trouble
Something wicked this way comes

(Harry: "Sirius Black")
Double double toil and trouble
Fire burn and cauldron bubble
Double double toil and trouble
Something wicked this way comes

(Harry:)
Dementors on the train drive me insane
I just can't help myself, I'm cold and I've fainted
My brain is tainted
With memories of ("AAAAA!") VOLDEMORT ("AAAAAAA!")
I'm not talking bout Malfoy
His father's just one of Voldy's toys
Professor Trelawny's a Seer
But if you ask me her lesson's just a bunch of guessin'
She tells me I'll die any second
So I'm in class with Remus
Boggart's gone with "Riddikulus!"
If I study bonus I'll produce a full Patronus
They took away the broom I got for Christmas
Want to check it for jinxes
Can't even go to Hogsmeade unless I've got the Marauder's Map
Malfoy's full of crap, and I want to go after Black
They say he'll kill at will
But I'd rather fry the guy
'Cause he's bad, and he's mad
He betrayed my mom and dad!
So Hermione ("What?") Hermione ("What?")
I'd rather find him than have him find me ("Harry...")
He's one bad mugglef- ("Shut your mouth!")
Even Malfoy's got to shout

Malfoy: Sirius Black, you know Potter, when it comes to the dark arts that Sirius guy's got nothing on my extended family.
Harry: Shut up, Malfoy, this is my rap!
Malfoy: Scared, Potter?
Harry: You wish
Malfoy: Come on, give up the mike!
Harry: I said no.
Malfoy: Professor! Potter's not lettin' me represent for the Dark side!
Snape: Potter, let Malfoy kick it old school or it's detention!
Malfoy: I've got a weak arm, you know
Harry: Alright fine, here it is!
Malfoy: Heh, this one's for all the Slytherins, wee-yotch.

So you think you can curse or damn me
Or say my acting's hammy
But if you want me to care then understand me:
My pureblood family
Don't want buds unless they're not mudbloods!
When they intermarry with muggles
It just makes me sick to my gut
I bought my way into Quidditch
You can do that when your father's rich
It's power I desire - you don't see me sing in no choirs!
When an animal bites my arm
I can do it far more harm
'Cause my dad can claim that it maimed the students
And then execute it
Some wizards want to go to Gryffindor
But me, I want a little bit more
Than the small, meek and measley
Like the bottom-feeders Weasley
They love non-magic folk
Is it any wonder they're broke?
Now this Sirius guy has come kickin'
And I understand if you're chicken
But Potter, if it were me, I'd want revenge, you see
I'd curse his * and send him back
Into the Shrieking Shack, Sirius Black!

(Toad chorus:)
Double double toil and trouble
Fire burn and cauldron bubble
Double double toil and trouble
Fire burn and cauldron bubble
Double double toil and trouble
Fire burn and cauldron bubble
Double double toil and trouble
Fire burn and cauldron...
Something wicked this way comes
Something wicked this way comes
Something wicked this way comes
Something wicked this way comes

(Harry:)
Why would I go looking for someone who wants to kill me?

And that concludes the Sirius Black Rap portion of my profile!

Professor Flitwick … does not know where Snow White is.

Professor Snape … has no wish to get in touch with his ‘feminine side’, and does not know what brand of shampoo he uses...

Professor Lupin … has no need for a flea collar. Ever.

Professor Moody … the best ‘teaching’ Hoqwarts has seen in a while.

Professor McGonagall … does not take herself too seriously, and it is a bad idea to tell her.

Professor Dumbledore … should be referred to as ‘Professor’, ‘Headmaster’ or ‘Sir’, not ‘Dude’, ‘My Leige’, or ‘Tim the Enchanter’.

Harry Potter … is more Emo than Draco Malfoy.

Draco Malfoy … disagrees...

Hermione Granger … is PMS-ing and has a wand.

Ron Weasley … is very afraid.

oOoOoOoOoOoO

Harry Potter Survey!!

Which is your favorite Harry Potter book? Prisoner of Azkaban

Which is your favorite Harry Potter movie? Prisoner of Azkaban

Who is your favorite HP character(s)? Hermione and Voldemort

What house do you prefer to be in?Slytherin or Ravenclaw

But what house would you think you'll be in? Slytherin or Griffindor

Which ghost within Hogwarts is your favorite?Sir Nicholas De Mimsy Porpington (Nearly Headless Nick)

What subject in Hogwarts do you like the best? Potions

Who is your favorite teacher in Hogwarts? Severus Snape

Which position would you want to be in for Quidditch? Seeker, I have a fear of death from bludgers

Which position in Quidditch do you think fits you the most? Seeker, I am good at finding things

Who do you want to make friends with? Hermione, Harry, Luna, Draco, and a houself(They come in handy when you want to sneak out)

If you were in Hogwarts, who would be your best buddy? Hermione

Why would he/she be your best buddy? Hermione cause she rules and is just like me! Harry cause I would kick his ass if he said no and Draco for the same reason as Harry. Luna because she is totally awesome.

Which character in the book can you relate to? Hermione

What pet would you get? Snake!!!!

If's (if questions):

If you happened to discover the Mirror of Erised, what would you see in it? Me being really popular and beating someone I don’t like up!

If you had a choice between a Firebolt and an Invisibility Cloak, what would you pick? Invisibility cloak, I hate heights!

If your friend was pulled into the Whomping Willow by a black dog, would you jump in and rescue him/her? Of course I would! What kind of a friend do you think I am?

If Sirius Black turned up on your doorstep, what would be your reaction? I would let him come inside.

What would be his reaction to your reaction? I think he would thank me and come inside. Then moan when I told him he would have to sleep on the floor! HeHeHe!

If you found out you could speak Parseltongue, who would you tell (characters in the HP book)? The Slitherins! They might start worshiping me as a Slitherin Queen!!!! =)

You landed yourself in the same situation as Harry was in with Umbridge's detention, would you tell anyone about the marks on your hand? Hell no, I’d save it to get back at her later!!!!

Who do you want to go to the Yule Ball with? Harry Potter! If he wasn’t moping over Cho. Maybe Viktor Krum

Post a character that has the same hair color as you do. Draco, although mine might be a little darker. Maybe Luna?

Post a character that has the same eye color as you. I don’t know!!!!!!! (Cries and mutters about how I’m not a real Harry Potter fan!)

Color comes into your mind when Sirius Black is mentioned? Black! Duh!!!!!

What color comes into your mind when Tonks is mentioned? Pink

What color comes into your mind when Ron is mentioned? Bright Red

What color comes into your mind when Hermione is mentioned? Honey mixed with light brown

What color comes into your mind when Harry is mentioned? Forest Green

What color comes into your mind when Draco is mentioned? Blond

Is this quiz getting boring and too long? No, not yet! I’m pretty occupied

If you got hold of a bottle of Felix Felicis, what would you drink it for? (Note: it makes you lucky in everything and everything you do won't go wrong.) Discovering my magic

Do you like the books more or the movies? Books!!! Nothing beats the classics

Who's your favorite out of the Marauders? Remus, he reminds me of me!!!!

What would your Patronus take shape in? Ahh, took the test. Three times! First a stag then a fox then a snake

What would be your Animagus form? Snake or wolf

What subject do you want to be the best in? Potions and Charms

This or that:

Sirius Black or Remus Lupin? Sirius

Severus Snape or Sirius Black? Severus

Hermione or Cho? Hermione

James Potter or Snape? Snape

Hagrid or Snape? Snape

The Marauders or The Golden Trio? Golden Trio

Ability to become Invisible or become an Animagus? Animagi

Harry or Ron? Harry

Fleur or Tonks? Tonks

Hermione or Ginny? Hermione

Cedric Diggory or Viktor Krum? Cedric

Luna Lovegood or Cho Chang? Luna

Dumbledore or Peeves the Poltergeist? Peeves

Aragog (Hagrid's dead spider) or Grawp (Hagrid's giant brother)? Grawp. He won’t eat me. I hope!

Zonko's Joke Shop or Honeydukes? Zonko’s

Bertie Botts' Every Flavour Beans or Chocolate Frogs? Bertie Botts’ Every Flavor Beans!

Death Eaters or Aurors? Death eaters, the aurors are a bunch of ministry loving punks. Well except the secret order members in it!

Dumbledore or Voldemort? Eww I hate Dumbledore and I love Voldemort. You do the math!

Bellatrix Lestrange or Narcissa Malfoy? Bellatrix

Would you rather go through the first task or the third task in the Triwizard Tournament? Um, second. I think that swimming would be the best option for me. It’s not like I can die, right?

List twelve of your favorite characters from anything, in NO particular order

1. Hermione Granger

2. Tom Riddle/Voldemort

3. Severus Snape

4. Angel

5. Katherine (Vampire diaries)

6. Maximum Ride

7. George Weasley

8. Fred Weasley

9. Luna Lovegood

10. Damon Salvatore

11. Neville Longbottom

12. Jacob Black

1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to?

Max and Neville. Umm, I'm not sure I would even if there was one. Max isn't Neville's type!

2. Do you think four is hot? How hot?

No! I think shes a cute little kid. What am i perverted!

3. What would happen if twelve got eight pregnant?

Ok five words. SO NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!!!!! Count them!

4. Can you recall any fic about nine?

Several, why?

5. Would two and six make a good couple?

No, I don't think so. Then again, Max seems to have a thing for darker guys. Don't know how Voldie would take the news though! Hahaha

6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why?

Katherine/Luna or Katherine/Damon? Katherine/Damon for sure!

7. What would happen if seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?

George Weasley walked in on Tom Riddle having sex with Jacob Black? Well I think that he would never laugh again and he would probably eventually commit suicide. I know I would. Also, my fear of the dark lord wouldn’t exist anymore.

8. Make up a summary for a three/ten fic.

Severus Snape find out that his great grandfather is actually Damon Salvatore. I know I’m evil! What will Snape do when he meets his still teenage relative.

9. Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff?

Sure, I read plenty of those!

10. Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic.

Jokes heal the broken heart

11. If you wrote a songfic about Eight, what song would you choose?

Purple people eater! Don’t ask me why!

12. If you wrote a one/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?

Hot threesome! Jacob gets double the action!

13. When was the last time you read a fic about five?

I don’t know?

14. "(1) and (7) are in a happy relationship until (9) runs off with (4). (1), brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with (11) and a brief unhappy affair with (12), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (3).”

Hermione and Fred are in a happy relationship until Luna runs off with Angel. Hermione, brokenhearted has a hot one-night stand with Neville and a brief unhappy affair with Jacob, then follows the wise advise of Katherine and finds true love with Severus.

Okay???? Major no nos here there and everywhere. Luna and Snape are perverts. Katherine gives advice. Hermione has sex with Neville! No, no, no way!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

My Mother Taught Me…

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why.
"5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

The things applied here are purely for fun and do not apply to my mom or dad in any way.

What can Be Said About Loss
by Rosemary J. Gwaltney
What can be said about loss
In love -
Those gaping wounds bleeding from aching spirits.
Rich libraries of memories calling from those
Cob- webbed shelves of the mind, of empty
Arms, and absent laughter, loving ways,
Sparkling eyes no longer there. Of
Breakfast tables, lonely beds
And favorite things
Gathering
Dust.

What can be said about love
When loss
Rips the tapestry of a spirit apart, leaving threadbare
A soul unraveling. When child, friend, parent, or
Lover carries away with them irretrievably,
A central, vital piece of living. When
Nothing is ever the same again.
When healing takes so very
Long, leaving such
Hideous
Scars.

oOoOoOo

Vampire diaries quotes:

Damon: I don't side with anyone. You piss me off. I want you dead.

Mayor Stratton: Do I look like a student?
Alaric: You look like a full-grown, alpha male douchebag

Damon: I was ambushed. I was shot. Now, I'm vengeful

Stefan to Logan: Don't. Ever. Threaten. Me. Again

Jeremy to Tyler: Art implies culture and culture implies... not you.

Logan: I'm inflicted.
Damon: Welcome to the club.

Damon: You have to be invited in.
Logan: I live alone.
Damon: That sucks.

Damon: We're a team. We could travel the world together. We could try out for The Amazing Race!

Damon: I could rip your heart out and not think twice about it.
Stefan: I've heard that before.

Damon: What are we doing here?
Stefan: Bonding.

Caroline: Let's summon some spirits. This Emily chick has some serious explaining to do.

Elena: A simple 'I didn't kill my brother text would have sufficed.'
Stefan: I didn't kill my brother.

Matt: What's wrong with "hey?"
Caroline: It reeks of awkward subtext

Damon: I'll adopt the Stefan diet, only nothing with feathers.

Damon on coffee: It does dead flesh good

Stefan: Everywhere that I go, pain and death follow. Damon follows. No more.

Caroline: I'm worse than shallow. I'm a kiddie pool.

Lexi: The famous Elena?
Elena: Towel girl.
Lexi: I've been called worse.

Damon: Does it get tiring, being so righteous?
Elena: It flares up in the presence of psychopaths.

Damon: Stefan smiles. Alert the media!

Caroline: It's just some stupid necklace.
Damon: You are the only stupid thing here.

Lexi: You'll rock her world so hard with your vamp sex, she'll be yours forever.

Damon: Why are you so mean to me?
Lexi: Have you met you?

Elena: You did this. This is your fault.
Damon: You confuse me with someone with remorse.

Elena: If you wanted me dead, I'd be dead.
Damon: Yes.
Elena: But I'm not.
Damon: Yet.

Damon: Is it skunk? Saint Bernard? Bambi?

Damon: I'm getting really bored and impatient; and I don't do bored and impatient

Zach: You don't visit, Damon... You appear. Periodically. Reminding me that this isn't my house, that you're only allowing me to live here ... allowing me to live.
Damon: Someone had to mow the lawn.

Damon: You're dead, dude. Get over it.

Damon: What's so special about this Bella girl? Edward's so whipped!
Caroline: You've gotta read the first book first. It won't make sense if you don't.
Damon: I miss Anne Rice. She was so on it.
Caroline: How come you don't sparkle?
Damon: Because i live in the real world where vampire burn in the sunlight.
Caroline: But you go out in the sun.
Damon. i have a ring it protects me.

Damon: I'm not some drunk sorority chick. You can't Roofy me.

Damon: You really need some human blood. It might even the playing field... football reference! Too soon?

Damon: It's cool not growing old. I like being the eternal stud.

Stefan: Wherever you go, people die.
Damon: That's a given.

Jenna: His name is Stefan Salvatore. He's a Gemini and his favorite color is blue.
Bonnie: You got all that in one day?
Jenna: Please. I got all that between third and fourth period

Stefan: Stay away from Elena.
Damon: I take that as an invitation

Elena: I made it through the day. I must have said "I'm fine" 37 times.

One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem: my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"
"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."
In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.
"Jesus!" Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.
"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.
"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.
"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones had winked off again. However, this time, the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.
The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"
Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that god-damned thing in me one more time I'll break it in half and shove it up your !"
"Amen," replied the congregation.

I GOT THE ABOVE STORY FROM BREYERFAN123. GO CHECK OUT HER PROFILE IT'S REALLY COOL. SHE'S IN MY FAV. AUTHORS!!

I Love You
by Angel Baby
I never really knew you
You were just another friend
But when I got to know you,
I let my heart unbend.
I couldn't help past memories
that would only make me cry
I had to forget my first love
and give love another try
So I've fallen in love with you
and I'll never let you go
I love you more than anyone
I just had to let you know
And if you ever wonder why
I don't know what I'll say
But I'll never stop loving you
each and every day
My feelings for you will never change
Just know my feelings are true
Just remember one thing
I Love You!

Copy and paste section!!

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you are addicted to vampires, post this onto your profile.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, copy this into your profile

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile (I am)

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile.

If, for no reason, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile.

If you couldn't possibly survive without your type of music, copy and paste this into your profile.

You have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile (I always want to, people just really piss me off!)

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile

If you are pissed because you never got your Hogwarts letter, post this on your profile

If you believe you could run the government better than the assholes in the government, copy this on your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile.

Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have embarrasing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy this into your profile.

If you think that Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile.

If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room for no reason, put this in your profile

If you are obsessed with FanFiction, put this into your profile

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica, twilightgirl1918, Just A Little Bit Dramatic, Pirates OWNS you, Cripsee, I'll have some stupid cliche, Insane Winged Girl, Faxness-Fan48, imaginarylullabyes,cutieismynam,Xx-Bluefox-xX, SCprincessSC, nadia the demented one, Burg Gurl, Gryfferin Princess, midnightsun506975,crazy-obsessed-potter-chick

If you have a tendency to talk/sing to yourself copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever pulled on a door that said push, or vice versa, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever run into a screen or glass door, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever stayed up past 2 in the morning reading, copy and paste this on your profile.(i have read for 18 hours straight only stoping when i got a drink or had to stand to go pee...)

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fan fictions, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this to your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are reading this line, copy and paste it in your profile.

If you've ever gone into a laughing fit for no reason, copy this onto your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile

If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy this into your profile

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you agree, that purple bunnies WILL rule the world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

If you have ever gone to edit your profile, saw all your cut and paste things, and thought "DAMN! That is a lot of crap!" copy and paste this to your profile

98 percent of teenagers do drugs or drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels.

Instead of doing it yourself, you like to copy. If that describes you, copy this into your profile.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach, the O.C., or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think rock paper scissors solves everything then put this in your profile!

If you think the semi-colon is completely useless, stupid, annoying and plotting to destroy the English language as we know it, put this in your profile!

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: unlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, LiveForInsanity, nadia the demented one, Burg Gurl, Gryfferin Princess, midnightsun506975,Crazy-obsessed-potter-chick

NOTE: MOST OF THE ABOVE QUOTES I COPIED FROM MIDNIGHTSUN506975. CHECK OUT HER PROFILE PAGE! IT'S REALLY GOOD!

I sincerly apologize to anyone who objects to cussing because the following stories may have that in it!!

If you have an annoying younger--or older-- sibling, please copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have run up and down an escalator copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're in love with a fictional character, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If yoo cant spel too sav yoor lyfe then putt thes in yoor profiele.

If you have deja vu a lot, copy this into your profile.
If you probably have a body in your closet, copy this into your profile.
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile

If you would kill to have wings, post on profile

If you are a band geek and proud of it, copy this into your profile!(BGFL!! band geek for life!!)