Name: Parker

Age: Guess.

Gender: Guy

Things I Like:

Harry Potter

Inheritance Cycle

Underland Chronicles

Percy Jackson and the Olympians Series

Artemis Fowl

Maximum Ride

Guardians of Ga'Hoole Series

Series of Unfortunate Events

Things I Dislike:

Mary Sues

Boiled cabbage

People who abandon stories

Cliches (Is that how you spell it?)

Ships I Support:

Harry Potter

Hermione/Ron

Harry/Ginny

Lily/James

Draco/Ginny (if well written)

Maximum Ride

Max/Fang

Nudge/Iggy

Angel/Human Ari

Percy Jackson

Annabeth/Percy

Silena/Beckendorf

Nico/Rachel

Luke/Thalia

-Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dislexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you.

Life is like a pack of gum... I've yet to figure out why.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well, I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.

One day, will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject

There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is full.

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out

Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, set up a stand, make millions, and RULE THE WORLD! Muahahahahahaha!

I'm not so good at advice. Can I intrest you in a sarcastic comment?

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

Don’t mess with me; I've got a stick.

Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?

There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is full

Being mature is overrated.

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver

People call me insane, but I'll have you know, the voices in my head strongly disagree.

Scientific Philosophies

When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands with the buttered side facing down. I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat; the two will hover, spinning inches above the ground. With a giant buttered cat array, a high-speed monorail could easily link New York with Chicago.

Why Yawning Is Contagious: You yawn to equalize the pressure on your eardrums. This pressure change outside your eardrums unbalances other people's ear pressures, so they must yawn to even it out.

The earth may spin faster on its axis due to deforestation. Just as a figure skater's rate of spin increases when the arms are brought in close to the body, the cutting of tall trees may cause our planet to spin dangerously fast.

The reason hot-rod owners raise the backs of their cars is that it's easier to go faster when you're always going downhill.

The quantity of consonants in the English language is constant. If omitted in one place, they turn up in another. When a Bostonian "pahks" his "cah," the lost r's migrate southwest, causing a Texan to "warsh" his car and invest in "erl wells."

I am the ruler of the earth and should be addressed as such.

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss!

I was going to take over the world but I got distracted by something sparkly.

I used all my sick days so I called in dead.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity got framed.

Warning: trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who the heck is drinking my water!

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS?!

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, geez!

The two most common elements in the world are hydrogen and stupidity.

Adults are just kids with money.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyways.

Last night, I was lying on my bed, staring up at the stars and wondering 'Where the heck is my roof?'

I want to do that thing when you put a map of the world on your wall and put pins in all the places you've been to. But first, I'll have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it doesn't fall down.

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

It's you and me against the world... WE ATTACK AT DAWN!!

I have a dream - of a day where chickens can cross roads without their motives being questioned.

I once had a life. Now I have a computer

There will come a day when you have lost all hope. There will come a day, when all is gone and forgotten in your life. There will come a day, when you no longer have the will to survive. There will come a day, when you have nothing, when you are hungry, homeless, penniless, and miserable. There will come a day when you are depressed and forlorn, when the world is nothing but a flat plain of suffering, and you are just a shell of a former person. And when that day does come...I'll be there to make it worse

AND NOW, FOR SOME RANDOM COPY AND PASTIE THINGIES

If you have ever read a 250 pg + book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your profile if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?"

If sarcasm is your first and favorite language, then copy & paste this into your profile.

If you absolutely KILLED yourself laughing when Gazzy said "'I vill now destroy de Snickurs bahrs!' then copy this to your profile!

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile

If you think the Coa-coa Puff Turkey Bird thing should go to rehab, copy this into your profile

Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27, 2006, because it was "too small" and "off its orbit" for some scientists' likings. If you think Pluto should still be a planet, copy and paste this to your profile. (next they'll tell us Jupiter is to big)

Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile. (who are they talking to?)

Weird is under-rated. Copy and paste this in your profile, if you agree and add your name to the list: Celiana, SuperSidney, Wisegirl101, tHeSmIlEyFaCeOfYoUrNiGhTmArEs, Sister to the Dark Lord, Curlscat, par99ker

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking copy and paste this on your profile

If you have ever zoned out for five consecutive minutes copy this on your profile (entire classes)

If your a Demigod copy this into your profile and sign your name (Then send us a message saying you did!)

Shorty/Kris

KG/Lizzy

Wisegirl101/Lindsay

AVirgoGirl/Anoushka

xcheergirlx3/h... (i don't like my real name, so i'm going 2 refer 2 it as 'h', as 'h' is a cool letter)

Mrs.DiAngelo/Carrie

Percabethrox17/Laney

Nico's Future Wife /Callie

Arasylem Alexia/ (Me not tellin me real name, but me wanted name is Alexia.)

Par99ker/Parker (Ooh, shocker!)

Proud Member of the Sue Slayers

Question 1:What is your favorite Harry Potter book and why? Least favorite?

Deathly Hallows. 'Nuff said. As for my least favorite, probably Prisoner of Azkaban.

Question 2:What is your favorite Harry Potter movie and why? Least favorite?

Chamber of Secrets. Dobby rocks! My least favorite is Goblet of Fire. They cut out so much!

Question 3:Who is your favorite character?

Neville.

Question 4:What is your favorite spell?

Avis. 'Cause birds are awesome.

Question 5:Who is your favorite teacher at Hogwarts?

Does Lupin count? If not, Flitwick.

Question 6:Who is your favorite Death Eater (Voldemort included)?

Voldy, heck yeah!

Question 7:Who is your favorite Hogwarts Student?

Again, Neville.

Question 8:What house would you want to be in? Which house do you think you would be sorted into?

I'd be in either Ravenclaw or Slytherin.

Question 9:Would you join the Order or the Death Eaters?

Depends on which has a better dental plan.

Question 10:If you could choose any character to be your boyfriend/girlfriend, who would it be?

Lily Potter.

Question 11:Who would be your best friend?

Founders: Probably Slytherin, as weird as that sounds. I'd try to talk him out of his prejudiced ways.

Marauders: Remus, definitely. The voice of reason!

Golden Trio: Probably Hermione. Again, the voice of reason!

Next Gen: Albus Severus Potter.

Question 12:Warner Brothers postponed the release date of the Half-Blood Prince movie to July of 2009. What are your thoughts on this?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGG!!

Question 13:What is your favorite magical creature?

Phoenixes. Hands down.

Question 15:Would you like to throw Dolores Umbridge into a boiling vat of acid?

Heck yes!

Question 16:What character would you dress up as for Halloween?

Malfoy. He's blonde, and I'm not dyeing my hair.

Question 17:How did you get your copy of The Deathly Hallows?

Ordered off Amazon, then got impatient and bought one at Target.

Question 18:How did you get into Harry Potter?

My older brother read them, and my mom read them to me.

Question 19:What is one memorable experience you have had involving the series?

Swapping theories with my mom and brother about how Dumbledore couldn't possibly have actually died.

Question 20:Have you ever seen a movie you were not particularly interested in, simply because it had a Harry Potter actor in it?

I saw Love, Actually for Snape.

Question 21:Would you go to Hogwarts, Durmstrang, or Beaubatons?

Hogwarts.

Question 22:What was your favorite Triwizard task?

The dragons.

Question 23:Before you read The Deathly Hallows, what was your opinion of Snape?

I thought he might have been good, but he was still pretty evil.

Question 24:Do you read or write fanfiction?

Read, yes. Write, yes. Write HP, ahhh no.

Question 25:Which spell do you wish you could use in real life?

Winguardium Leviosa, because it's awesome!

Question 26:What position would you play in Quidditch?

Beater, because hitting things is fun.

Question 27:What was your favorite moment in any of the books?

In, Sorcerer's Stone, anything with Norbert.

In Chamber of Secrets, Harry freeing Dobby.

In Prisoner of Azkaban, Hermione slapping Malfoy.

In Goblet of Fire, Oddly enough, the part with Barty Crouch Jr.

In Order of the Phoenix, the Twins' escape.

In HBP, the part with Luna doing the commentary.

In DH, the Battle of Hogwarts.

Question 28:What event in the series did you wish had happened differently?

I really wish it hadn't taken most of the book for Hermione to kiss Ron.

Question 29:Would you join the DA?

I might.

Question 30:Do you think Voldemort has EVER had a girlfriend?

No. Unless Bellatrix counts.

Question 31:What name from the series would you be willing to change your own name to?

For last name, probably Lupin. For first, James.

Question 32:What type of wand would you have?

Rowan, fourteen and a half inches, phoenix feather core.

Question 33:What would your pet be?

A Chizpurfle.

Question 34:If you could belong to any family in the series, which would it be?

The second-gen Potters.

Question 35:Which Hallow would you most like to have?

Invisibility Cloak, bar none.

Question 36:What is your favorite horcrux?

For some strange reason, Nagini.

Question 37:Ever seen Potter Puppet Pals?

Nope.

Question 38:What would your patronus be?

An owl.

Question 39:What would be your animagus form?

A spider. Small, hard to notice, and can climb walls;what more do you want?

Question 40:Who is your favorite Marauder?

Remus Lupin.

Question 41:If you went to Diagon Alley, where would you go first?

Ollivander's, then Weasley's Wizard Wheezes.

Question 42:Favorite member of the Black family?

Andromeda.

Question 43:Favorite member of the Weasley family?

Ron.

Question 44:Who should have won the Triwizard Cup?

Cedric.

Question 45:Who is your favorite actor in the films?

Emma Watson.

Question 46:(insert actor here) should totally play (insert character here).

Amy Adams should totally play Rose Weasley.

Question 47:What would you wear to the Yule Ball?

Just a tux and dress pants.

Question 48:How many times have you read the series?

I've lost count, but around eight times.

Question 49:Who is your favorite couple?

Ron/Hermione

Question 50:Did you like this survey?

Yes, kinda.