Welcome to my page.

"Fact: It's better to be pissed off than pissed on..."

I've learnt better than to give personal details on the internet, so here's a vague description of "ThePerfectMess". I'm a something-year-old female who currently resides in a little island they like to call England. I do enjoy writing, of course, although I'm not particularly good so I don't do so very often. Also, I only write when I'm really inspired, so if I start a story, it'll probably take donkey's years to complete ;)

I read a lot of stories on this site. The ones on my favourites list are just the ones that I liked or am currently reading (I often use the 'favourites' as a sort of book mark)...But there have been several things swimming around in my mind for a while which I just need to have a rant about/get across. So I've decided to consist a list of my:

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

My Fan Fiction Pet Peeves

- I absolutely hate it when I'm hooked on a story/a story has an amazing plot, but when the characters finally get together that excellent plot just goes out the window and it practically turns into a smut novel. I do understand that sex is a part of life, and therefore a part of stories - particularly in the romance genre. But PLEASE, for the love of God, don't just write lemons to:

a) Please your readers/For reviews. At the end of the day, I'd much rather read a brilliant story with fewer reviews but with a well thought out plot that is followed through, opposed to a story with a gazillion lemons just to get the review rate higher.

b) Prolong the story length. So many great stories turn into piles of mindless crap once the characters finally get together. Chapters are filled with pathetic drama over the stupidest things, eg. "OMG! Edward, you just looked at Tanya! And even though I love you so much that I'd die for you, yadda yadda yadda, and I'm apparently the most bootiful girl you've ever seen - something you remind me numerous times every freakin' chapter - I'm still SUPER INSECURE and go into protective mama-bear mode every time you even glance at another girl (who has never even been more of an acquaintance)."

DUN DUN DUNNN! Drama-Queen!Bella and Prince-Charming!Edward have a HUGE bust up (even though they sworn they'd be together "forever"?)

...Only to figure out the next day that it was all just a misunderstanding. *Cue the endless amounts of make up sex*

"And the love kick starts again..." And again. And again...Until you've read so many lemons that you need to rinse your brain with holy water to get rid of all the impure thoughts.

- Get yourself a Beta! As a reader who is slightly OCD about grammar/spellings within stories, it can get pretty frustrating when I'm mentally correcting about thirty different mistakes per sentence. I swear, do some people even READ their work before submitting it to the site? Sure, I can allow it when things are purposely incorrect in a story when it comes to dialogue or internal monologues because it could portray the character better. But please! It's really not that hard to get one. For Twilight Fan Fictions, I hear Project Team Beta are a good choice when looking for Betas. If you can't/won't/don't want to get a beta, then at least proof read your writing before publishing onto the site.

- Don'tuse over-used plot lines. This may include any of the following:

i. The Cullens/Bella/Jacob read the Twilight books. Harry/The Marauders/Next Gen read the HP books

- I have to admit, I read a lot of these stories when I'm bored and just want to read the actual stories with some amusing commentary. But it's usually just cliché drivel which is basically just plagiarising an author's work as your own.

ii. (This is mostly a New Moon AU, but also quite common in AH stories as well) Bella gets pregnant, Edward leaves without knowing, finds out years later, SURPRISE! - There are many things wrong with this kind of plot line. Where Bella leaves w/o telling him because "he wouldn't care" is complete bull shit. Especially when you've spent the majority of the story making Edward out to be this completely perfect, forgiving, loving, kind, Messiah of a man. It would make sense if he was evil or something, for Bella to be so insecure, otherwise it's just plain annoying. And also, the fact that in most of these stories, when Edward does eventually find out, his reaction is completely amazing - i.e. He doesn't get angry at all, and ends up being the one comforting BELLA because she's acting like a drama queen in the story. *sighs* Moving on...

- I absolutely detest OC's/Mary-Sue's - the whole point of FAN FICTION, in my opinion, is to use characters from stories/films that you like and basically play around with them - answer the "What if?" questions, etc. I honestly don't see the point of having a story based around your own made-up characters (which, most of the time are complete Mary-Sue's - google it if you don't know what I mean) and publishing it on Fan Fiction. Why not go to Fiction Press if you want to do that kind of thing?

- Completely OOC characters - This is similar to the previous point. I understand that some stories are based around the characters being OOC - and that's fine. What I don't like is when authors disguise a story as having canon-ish characters, when they turn out to be completely wrong. It's alright if your characters aren't as good as the actual thing, but you can at least try to keep them how the actual author portrays them.

- Colloquialisms/Americanisms - Whenever I see these in a story, I tend to leave straight away. It's usually in Harry Potter fiction where you tend to get a lot of Americanisms, and it is so frustrating. Let me just clear one thing up first:

Harry Potter was set in Britain in the 1990's.

Okay? So that means that they won't have mobile phones. The girls won't go around looking like they do today - in fact, they would wear the school uniforms of wizard's robes. They wouldn't listen to Nicki Minaj or Justin Bieber. They probably won't have the internet as it didn't become popular until the late '90's, and they certainly wouldn't have computers in a Wizarding School. Head girls and boys wouldn't "share rooms". And for crying out loud, since when the hell has Hogwarts had a foreign exchange programme? With America, no less - if they were to exchange with anyone it would probably be from somewhere in Europe anyway.

Which brings me to the second part - Americanisms. I have nothing against America at all, I think it's a wonderful place full of great people - but I absolutely cannot stand when they're in Harry Potter. Why do people insist on putting Americans in Harry Potter? I've lived in England all my life and I could probably count on one hand the amount of Americans I've met that have moved here/study here. If you're an American author trying to write a HP fic, do yourself a favour and either:

a) Find a Brit to help you make it...not as American.

b) Read "A Guide for NonBrits Writing Harry Potter Fan Fics" by Pinky Brown.

I'll add more to this list as I think of them. These were just off the top of my head right now :)

Ships I support:

Harry Potter:

- Anything canon? Definitely. (Lily/James are my OTP :D)

- Oliver/Katie? Yes. Fell in love with this ship recently, and who doesn't love Sean Biggerstaff?

- Ginny/(Blaise/Draco/Neville/Filch)? No. I don't read much H/G anyway, but I can't stand how so much fanon makes Ginny out to be some whore who's sleeping with half of Hogwarts.

- Neville/Luna? (If it happens in the films but not the books, then it doesn't count as canon in my opinion) Yes.

- Rose/Scorpius? Yes, as long as they aren't complete Mary-Sues.

- Draco/Astoria? Yes, but only after they've finished school if you're sticking to canon. I honestly can't imagine those two getting together during their school lives.

- Draco/Pansy? Maybe, if it's just a little "school-yard" romance kind of thing because you're sticking to canon or need a romantic interest for Draco during the school years.

- Remus/Tonks? Yes, Tonks was one of my favourite characters and Lupin's just fantastic.

- Theodore/Daphne? Yes. Oddly, I'm one of the few people who seem to think that these two would be an amazing couple (if the author has written them well with clear characterisation that relates to their canon personalities). We don't see much of the two in canon, but they're quite enigmatic characters, in my opinion anyway.

- Character/OC? No. Sorry, but around 99% of OC's in stories on here are Mary-Sues.

- Slash/Fem-slash? No. Sorry, I'm not into that sort of thing.

- Character/Much older character? (Eg. Hermione/Snape) No. Even in time-travel stories I just find that weird. Tonks/Lupin are the exception.

- Teddy/Victoire? Yes.

- Draco/Hermione? Maybe. Truthfully, I've only read one story with this ship, and I have to admit that it was amazing. So it depends on the quality of the story.

- Sirius/Anyone? No. With the exception of little school romances, etc. I honestly can't see it, he seems too reckless and flighty to ever be in a serious relationship. And if you're sticking to canon, then when the hell would he even have the time? :P

Twilight:

- Anything canon? Absolutely.

- Jacob/Bella? Not really.

- Jacob/Leah? Yeah, maybe.

- Bella/Anyone else? No.

- Slash/Fem-slash? No.

The Hunger Games:

- Canon? Yes.

- Katniss/Gale? Maybe. But only if there isn't a Peeta in the story (eg. Gale got picked instead).

- Katniss/Finnick? No. Finnick with anyone other than Annie would be a tragedy in my eyes. ;)

- Slash/Fem-slash? Nope.

- Prim/President Snow? LOL. Don't know why I put that in, but I bet someone out there has made a fic with that absurd pairing.

The Mortal Instruments:

- Clary/Jace? Yes, but not in between the end of CoB to the end of CoG (If you've read them, you'll understand why).

- Clary/Simon? No. They're great friends, but their relationship was just doomed to fail.

- Jace/Isabelle? Lol. No.

- Jace/Aline? No, oh please stop.

- Jace/Alec? No. They're parabatai, that's not allowed. ;)

- Alec/Magnus? YES. They're the sweetest couple ever.

- Simon/Isabelle? Yes.

- Simon/Maia? Not really.

- Maia/Jordan Kyle? Yes and no. I really disliked how the abuse issue was kind of brushed over as they just kind of got overcome with hormones.

- Luke/Jocelyn? Indeed.

- Jocelyn/Valentine? No, no, no.

- Sebastian/anyone? Nope.

The Infernal Devices:

- Tessa/Will? Yes.

- Tessa/Jem? Maybe. Jem is my favourite character in the entire MI/ID series, but I honestly think he and Tessa are better off friends. Anxiously waiting for what will happen in Clockwork Princess ;S

- Tessa/Will/Jem? (Love triangle) No. I know it's canon, but I despise love triangles.

- Sophie/Gideon? Yes. Love these two.

- Charlotte/Henry? Yep.

- Gabriel/Tessa? Not really.

- Magnus/Camille? No.

- Magnus/Will? I actually fell out of my bed laughing at that scene in Clockwork Prince. But seriously, no.

- Jessamine/Nate? Sigh. They're both messed up, so why not?

- Benedict Lightwood/Demons? Haha, absolutely!

Useful Abbreviations:

AU - Alternative Universe
AH - All Human
OC - Original Character
OOC - Out of Character
IC - In Character
WIP - Working in progress
Lemon - Graphic sex scene
Lime - Intense fluff (but not a sex scene)
Fluff - A sweet moment shared between characters
Canon - Normal pairings (eg. Bella/Edward in Twilight)

By the way...

I actually hate Twilight :P

Why?