Bonjour! Bonjour! Bonjour, bonjour, bonjour!

There goes the baker with his tray like always...

Oh, right. My (pen) name is IBD Ninja, and welcome to my profile! I try to keep it positive over here, and, well, I have no idea where I was going with that. Cover art is mine, although I’m planning on making a new one.

Sometimes it can be hard to feel appreciated; when it was too late to change the program after you took on a new job for the production. When you know you’re the person who can be depended on to sub for the pitcher but haven’t gotten to be anywhere but the outfield. When you got brave enough to ask for help, they say yes, and then shut you down. When you feel useless.

I promise, you are anything but. Maybe you weren’t cast as the lead, but had more jobs than you could count in between ensemble scenes. Think about how reliable you are, when the person in charge knows how much they can rely on you to help fix problems. It may not feel like it, but YOU ARE IMPORTANT.

Show someone how much you appreciate them. It can really make their day.

Big thank you to everyone who's read my stories, and especially those who leave reviews- I’m so thankful for all of the support.

I have only written two completed stories so far, both of which are for Henry Danger: Shot Down (third page) and Dream Busted (second page).

Current story, The Night Before, has been published and will be updated every Sunday!

Also, I have not had an issue with this (and would like to keep it that way), but: if you would like to post a review for one of my stories, go for it, all I ask that you do not include any swear words. I try to keep my stories appropriate for a broad audience, and swearing in reviews complicates that. If you have read my stories before you know that I use clean versions of swear words (“Well, shoot.”) or work around them (“‘Crap,’ said so-and-so. Well, they said something like that, anyway.”), and all I ask is to keep any reviews to my stories clean. Thanks, y’all!

As for me, obviously I'm not going to put a whole bunch of personal information online, but I will let it slip that:

1. I am a total theatre geek, musicals included.

2. My favorite colors are purple & fuchsia.

3. I am Iron Man. (Female: Fe= Iron, and Male= Man. Iron Man.)

4. My favorite TV shows are (in no particular order) Henry Danger, The Loud House and Grey’s Anatomy.

5. My favorite movies (in no particular order) are Incredibles 2, Mulan, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, and Coco.

6. I‘m still pediatric. Not an adult, but I’m not in middle school, either (thank goodness that’s over, my middle school was not great).

7: Some quotes I like:

- “Sometimes you have to fall before you can fly.” (Ariana Berlin)

- “Somebody just called me normal... I have never been so insulted in my entire life.” (From the Minion meme that was my lock screen for a little bit)

- “They say dance is a language. So why do I not get a foreign language credit out of it?” (ME! Just came up with that and couldn’t resist ah ha ha)

- “A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.” (Barbra Johnson)

8. My Relationship Status, explained:

SUPERWOMEN: SINGLE

BATWOMEN: SINGLE

WONDERWOMEN: SINGLE

I GET IT NOW...

I'M SINGLE BECAUSE I'M A SUPERHERO

[ ] Single

[ ] Taken

[X] I’m a MERMAID, I don’t date HUMANS.

[ ] Single

[ ] Taken

[X] I CAN’T, I have rehearsal.

9. I’m a dancer (musical theatre included).

10. I have found that I love getting to talk to other Henry Danger fans, no one I know (as an actual person and not through Fanfiction) likes that show as much as I do (except possibly my BFF’s little brother). If anyone wants to PM me just to talk I’m open to it. =) Sadly, I don’t have the time to do joint stories, truthfully it can be difficult to keep up with my own, especially when contest season rolls around.

11. I’m a Hufflepuff- Hufflepuffs value hard work, dedication, patience, loyalty, and fair play. We shall not be overlooked!

12. I have a profile on Fandom, but I only made it to stand up to a troll. I’ve only made a couple of edits, really.

13. My favorite book is The Fault In Our Stars. (No, I haven’t seen the movie.)

14. I can’t stand:

-When people don’t even try

-Or are trying too hard.

-Lying without a good reason.

-When people don’t wash their hands after using the bathroom

-Or before eating/handling food.

-Bullying. Seriously, why is this even an issue?

-When people make a ”funny” meme about a serious subject that is in no way funny.

15. My favorite song: depends on the day, sometimes it’s “Over the Raindbow” and sometimes it’s ”Silent Scream,” there is no telling.

16. I love High School Musical and am not ashamed to admit it.

17. Actress AND Techie.

18. I am the Queen of Cliffhangers- or so I’ve been told.

19. I am a Pisces. I know horoscopes and those kinds of things are not always accuarte, but most of what I’ve read for Pisces is totally me! (The general thing, not the daily horoscopes.)

20. Unless they’re being used for legitimate, diagnosed medical reasons with a real prescription, I see absolutely zero reason to drink alcohol, take drugs, or smoke. With all due respect to those who are struggling, drugs, alcohol and cigarettes are harmful not only to the consumer, but also to those around them, such as how second-hand smoke can do just as much damage as smoking.

21. Frozen is better than Tangled. In Tangled, the main female protagonist runs off with a complete stranger an then MARRIES him immediately after the adventure is over. In Frozen, Elsa directly says “You can’t marry a man you just meant.” This is something that CANNOT be emphasized enough. No arguments.

22. Asexual, and totally fine with it.

23. My favorite musical is Heathers, my my favorite songs from Heathers are ”Dead Gay Son” (because of the love), ”Shine a Light” (because of the love and humor), and ”Candy Store” (because the first time I saw Heathers that was the only song I remember).

1.6 million Americans have IBD. Those are the ones we know about, anyway.

How not to be stupid: Understand that IBD and IBS are not the same thing. If they were, would they have different names?

Not every illness can be seen. Unless you have colonoscopy pictures.

”I don’t know anyone with IBD.” *cough cough*

I know I don’t look sick- and you don’t look stupid, yet here we are.

Yes, I can eat that. Since when are you my doctor?

I have a teacher who likes to show us their degree to make a point. Next time they make a guess as to why they think a student needs to go to the nurse I’m asking to see their medical degree.

Uh... whoever smelt it delt it?

You don’t Get it until you get it.

”10 Foods to Avoid If You Have-“ Stop. Shut up. There is no one-size-fits-all diet or medication. Delete that captain and replace it with ”Each individual case is different.” Did you replace it? If yes, then congratulations. You have common sense.

“You shouldn’t use the disabled toliet!” 90% of people who lash out at others for using the disabled toliet think they are helping society. In reality, they are hurting feelings while making themselves look stupid. You can’t see my condition. I am lucky enough to not need surgery, so I can’t lift my shirt and show you a bag or a scar. The little scar on my arm from the PICC line won’t satisfy you- 90% of people who see someone who appears healthy using the disabled toilet will lash out. Just because you can’t see I’m sick doesn’t mean I’m not sick. 90% is too much. Bring that number down- have some common sense!

”A Plant-Based Diet May Cure Crohn’s Disease!” Um, no it won’t. Changes in diet, while a possible way to keep IBD under control, will not cure Crohn’s or UC. Actually, is there anything a plant-based diet will cure? I don’t think so...

Okay, you may notice that I don’t have any “favorite stories” or “favorite authors” on my profile, there are reasons for that. First, I’m that kind of person who puts way too much effort into choosing a favorite (multiply by five, carry the one...). Second, during the school year it’s increasingly difficult to not put off work and check Fanfiction every twenty seconds, and that’s even an issue during the summer. There are definitely amazing stories & authors out there that I would add, but not having any “favorites” is my way of keeping distance from checking the archives constantly. I know that may sound weird, but it has become a real issue for me. Generally, I do my best to limit Fanfiction to the weekends, although I loosen up a little bit on writing during the summer, cause, you know, no school.

Book quote that basically sums up my life: ”Why? Because I’m trying really hard to make everybody HAPPY.”

Chocolate is made with cocoa beans. Cocoa beans come from trees. Trees are plants. Thus, chocolate is a salad. I rest my case.

When you are stressed you eat lots of “junk” food. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is desserts!

If pooping is a call of nature, are farts missed calls?

Dear Karma, I have a list of people you missed.

I’m the kind of crazy no one warned you about because no one knew my level existed.

Sleep is my drug, my bed is my dealer, and my alarms are the police.

Welcome to my mind: please fasten your seatbelts, keep your arms and legs in at all times, do not feed the animals, do not drink the water and do not talk to the voices.

I wish my wallet came with free refills...

Dear Bed, I’m sorry I broke up with you this morning, I want to get back together. Love, me.

If you’re talking about me behind my back, I’m just going to assume that my life is just much more interesting than yours.

The fact that jellyfish have survived for over 600 million years gives many people hope.

Once upon a time, someone toliet papered my cousin’s house. It was the good kind and was barely unrolled. My cousin’s family saved some money that day.

When someone calls me ugly: “I’m not a mirror.”

I may not be a witch, a tribute, a hunter, Divergent (oh, wait. Yes I am), a mermaid, a dorky middle school girl, a queen, a princess, a Selected, or a fairy, but I’m a reader, and that’s the same thing.

My Valentine’s Day date was a bag of animal crackers. I later cheated on those animal crackers with a chocolate bar.

I have theories!!!!!

A) Inside Out- people are always talking about how Riley has both guy and girl emotions. Is it possible that she has a birth defect of some sort involving the X and Y chromosomes? I am not a scientist, it is entirely possible this theory is not scientifically possible.

B) Anytime there is a mistake (like when some thing changes position or color) in a movie that involves magic (like Beauty and the Beast or Frozen), I just think, It’s not a mistake, it’s magical.

C) The Loud House- let’s face it, they really haven’t grown up even though there’s been, like, three April Fool’s Day episodes! I think that they’re in some sort of time loop, possibly The Loud House is in the same universe as Fairly Odd Parents and takes place before Timmy got busted for his Secret Wish.

D) In the beginning of Incredibles, Mr. Incredible has a suit that is mostly blue. Elastigirl has a suit that has red. Their first child is named Violet. Red plus blue = violet (purple). I swear they did that on purpose. (I did not come up with this one, forgot to mention that.)

F) The Mediator and All-American Girl- Jack Slater and Jack Slater are the same person.

G) Toy Story- why did Buzz lightyear freeze around humans if he didn’t believe he was a toy? Because Buzz thought he crashed landed on a strange planet, so he didn’t know what the other toys, the natives, did. Andy, his mom, all of the humans were much, much bigger than he was, so it makes sense he would be unfamiliar about what to do and imitate the other toys. When in Rome, do as the Romans do, after all. Eventually, when Buzz accepted that he was a toy, he realized that what the other toys were doing, and froze around humans because he was supposed to instead of to imitate others and learn from them. I rest my case.

Rules for LIFE:

-Just because something is done frequently does not make it right.

- If you’re going to commit to something, put in full effort.

-If they can’t accept you for you are, they aren’t worth your time.

-Let someone know how much you appreciate them.

-A few words go a long way- choose them carefully.

-Wash your hands. WITH. SOAP.

-Sometimes, you just have to be the weirdo.

-If being a nerd will get to to your first-choice college, then be a nerd.

-Let them laugh call you a nerd. They won’t be laughing when you see them working at McDonald’s.

-You don’t have to be a kid to get a kid’s meal.

-Proofread. Always proofread.

-You are allowed to say no.

-If you don’t hear a no, that does not mean yes.

-If you forget their name, just ask.

-Use spellcheck.

-Think before you post/publish.

Reasons Why Princess Peach Is Better At Rescuing Mario Than He Is At Rescuing Her:

1. Peach was smart enough to bring someone with her the whole time. (Perry.)

2. Mario basically has three chances to get hurt without dying. Peach is stronger and has six at first, and can get stronger later.

3. Peach can catch fire without getting burned. Mario can’t.

4. Peach can cry her eyes out without getting dehydrated. Mario can’t.

5. Peach can fly without a power-up. Mario needs a power up.

6. Peach can heal herself. Mario can’t.

7. When Mario falls into a ditch or lava, he dies. Peach just gets right back up again.

8. Peach is smart enough to rest a bit every now and then.

9. Peach can run in heels without falling, and said heels hurt when she steps on enemies.

10. Peach can float in the air.

11. Peach can float on the water surface.

12. Peach rescued both Mario and Luigi, whereas Mario usually only saves her.

13. Peach also rescues three toads per level, instead of star coins.

14. Peach actually uses the coins she collects to help her on her journey; Mario does have a limit to how many extra lives he can get.

I’m not hating on Mario here, I’m just pointing out that Peach is awesome, too!

I’m a really heavy editor, but mistakes do sometimes sneak by me. (I once lost a fiction contest because of a little typo that neither autocorrect nor myself caught.) If anyone sees a typo in any of my stories, I would much appreciate it if you let me know. :)

(awkwardly) Uh... I guess that’s it.

Ciao, and Happy Reading! :)