2017 UPDATE: hi there i’m jo and if for some fucking reason you’re reading this pls just know that the only reason i’m not deleting this entire thing is that i want to be able to remind myself of just how embarrassing i used to be. which is not to say that i’m not embarrassing now, but at least i don’t call myself a fanwarrior anymore and all of my embarrassing qualities come from being a very anxious human being rather than an obnoxious one, anyway i don’t know what you’re doing on this profile if you are here but you’re welcome to witness my 17 year old self absolutely crush the bio game *

VIVE LA FRANCE.

So, let's get some things clear right now.

1. I am a FANWARRIOR. And I like to ship things, doesn't matter who it is, their gender, their race, their age (well, I do have some limits there.) Basically, if it fits, it ships.

2. I ABHOR HitsuHina and IchiHime. As I put it once rather nicely, HitsuHina makes me want to punch babies.

3. I will pretty much read anything as long as I don't hate the characters, and it's fairly well written.

4. Creepy/ insane characters are my favorite (I adore Mayuri Kurotsuchi) ;D

5. I love OC stories, but only if the OCs themselves aren't obnoxious as fuck. This tends to happen a lot and it makes me want to cry.

6. Swearing at people that piss me off is not a problem.

THEREFORE. If you happen to have a problem with any of those things, va te faire foutre, s'il vous plait.

Anyways, on to myself.

Name: Feel free to call me Mephy.

Age: Lost somewhere in the sands of time. Or 17.

Gender: I am a luvverly teenage girl. Oh the joy of hormonedom, obnoxious girls and high school.

Location: Somewhere in the Midwest. Incidentally, did you know that some of the world's most disturbed serial killers came from Wisconsin?

Ummmmm... What else...Oh, I know!

Books I have read recently: Currently I am rereading The Golden Compass by Philip Pullman (who is a genius and if you haven't read His Dark Materials, then go now.) I also read recently The Devil in the White City by Erik Larson which is absolutely fascinating. It's about the Chicago World Fair in 1893, and it follows the building and design of the fair itself and the men involved, but also a genius serial killer who uses the fair to lure in victims. (Update on that, there was a Supernatural episode where the ghost of H. H. Holmes, the serial killer, came back.) I also read Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman and it is hilarious and perfect and oh my God it is the best thing ever. OHMYGOD I'M READING LES MISERABLES. IT'S WONDERFUL IT'S BEAUTIFUL VICTOR I LOVE YOU VICTOR I DO WHEN WE'RE APART MY HEART BEATS ONLY FOR YOU.

Favorite Anime: Oh lord, here we go. Ok. Baccano is hands down my favorite short series, I even cosplayed as the fantastic bomb freak girl, Nice Holystone ;) I also love Bleach, Darker Than Black, Fairy Tail, Black Butler (I even downloaded the musicals), Katekyo Hitman Reborn, though I'm not very far yet, Soul Eater, Fullmetal Alchemist (I much prefer Brotherhood out of the two series), Hetalia ;) Ghost Hunt, XXXholic, Best Student Council, I guess I sort of got into Naruto for a while, but I have yet to get back in, Mushishi, Ouran High School Host Club, and I think that's all of them... I could be wrong.

Favorite Manga: Watch this list be longer... Fairy Tail, Godchild (or anything by Kaori Yuki), Dogs: Bullets and Carnage, Fruits Basket, Gakuen Alice, One Piece (and yet I hate the anime... Maybe it's just the AWFUL English dub), Fushigi Yuugi and Fushigi Yuugi: Genbu Kaiden, Black Butler, Demon Flowers, Emma, Death Note, Ouran High School Host Club, Itsuwaribito, Boys Over Flowers, Yotsuba :D, Switch, aaaaaaand that may or may not be it.

Favorite Other Shows/Fandoms: SUPERNATURAL. Actually, just one of my favorite shows ever. If you don't know, it's about two brothers who fight demons and ghosts and other monsters and I just have so many emotions about this show and it's characters and I just want them to be happy but that will never happen and OHMYGOD SOMEONE KILL ME NOW WHY DOES EVERYONE HAVE TO DIE. At least Death is pretty chill. Anyway, I also LOVE Sherlock, which I am so emotionally attached to it's not even funny. Same with Doctor Who. I love Doctor Who. I am a huge Whovian and I have a TARDIS lunchbox, and I'm trying to teach myself circular Gallifreyan and it's really hard... I have also recently gotten into Merlin, which was dumb because it's ENDING. I only just started and it's over :'( I am also a part of the Avengers fandom and Lord of the Rings and vaguely Star Trek, but not really, and I also love Firefly. I love love love Les Mis, and I cry a lot about Les Amis de l'ABC, because I want to be friends with them, but I can't because the're fictional characters, and also oh yeah, THEY'RE ALL DEAD. Except for Marius, cuz he's dumb. AND I JUST MISS THEM ALL SO MUCH AND WHY DID ENJOLRAS AND GRANTAIRE HAVE TO DIE HOLDING HANDS AND NOW I WANT TO DIE.

Pairings I Like:

Bleach:

Grimmjow/Ichigo

Gin/Toshiro

Renji/Tatsuki (There's barely anything for them though and it makes me sad)

Toshiro/Karin (It's weird to call him that for this one because they're HitsuKarin, not ToshiKarin or something similarly idiotic.)

Renji/Byakuya

Nnoitora/Szayel (This might seem odd, but there's an amazing story for them called Mariposa)

Ikakku/Yumichika :D

Grimmjow/Ulquiorra (Sometimes)

Ikkaku/Hanataro

Black Butler:

Sebastian/Ciel

Undertaker/Grelle

William/Ronald

Fairy Tail:

Gajeel/Levy

Natsu/Lucy

Laxus/Mirajane

Elfman/Evergreen

Fullmetal Alchemist:

Roy/Ed (:D)

Al/May

Kimblee/Envy (Anyone else? No? Well, go read Many Kinds of Monsters and you'll change your mind.)

Roy/Riza

Miles/Olivier

Ed/Winry

Hetalia:

Pretty much only Russia/America

Ouran High School Host Club:

Lessee here... Kyoya/Haruhi

And the rest involve OC's but really, how could you resist?

Supernatural:

Destiel (Dean/Castiel)

Sabriel(Sam/Gabriel)

Balcifer (Balthazar/Lucifer) There really aren't very many though, and it makes me sad...

Occasionally Samifer (Sam/Lucifer)

Browley (Bobby/Crowley) Because Mark Sheppard and Jim Beaver totally ship themselves together and I think their relationship is funny.

Sherlock:

Basically only JohnLock (John/Sherlock)

Doctor Who:

9/Rose

10/Rose

11/River

Amy/Rory

The Avengers (And all the movies that led up to it):

Loki/Darcy

FrostIron (Loki/Tony)

There was one story I read that was Loki/Natasha and it was really good.

Les Miserables:

Enjolras/Grantaire

Combeferre/Enjolras

Jehan/Bahorel

Jehan/Cosette

Feuilly/Bahorel

Basically, any of the Amis together because that's just the way things are (except Joly and Bossuet because they're soulmates forever and ever and I'm never splitting them up)

Joly/Bossuet/Musichetta (It's totally canon too, which is my favorite part)

Courfeyrac/Jehan (Jehan's just so cute! I can't help myself. I love him to bits and I just want to give him hugs and kisses and flowers.)

Pairings I Detest:

Hitsugaya/Hinamori (That useless, whiny bitch.)

Ichigo/Orihime (Really? All she does is heal some shit and cry about how much she loves Ichigo. Who cares about her stupid quirky habits anyway? She's not cute. At all.)

Aizen/Ichigo is just wrong to me on so many levels. First off, I hate Aizen and his stupid little know-it-all smile. Second, he just strikes me as SUCH a pedophile. Gross. And third, Ichi belongs with Grimm-kitty. 'Nuff said.

ALOIS AND ANYBODY. Same goes for Claude, but not so much. As long as he doesn't stick his stupid fucking face between Ciel and his Sebas-chan then it's okey dokey, but I actually just hate Alois. He's a pathetic little bastard.

Roy/Hughes. Bad. No. Thankfully there aren't many, but really? He's got an ADORABLE daughter and a luvverly wife. Also, it's bad enough that he died, so don't make it worse by ruining a perfect friendship.

In a story I read once, Breda was paired with Madame Christmas. That made for some extremely unpleasant images. *Shudder*

I GREATLY DISLIKE TWINCEST. Or Wincest. Or Elricest for that matter, or any kind of incest at all. Sure the Hitachiin bros have an intimate relationship, but to actually cross that line is not really okay with me. Even with Thorki, they were raised as brothers and that is more important in my eyes than actually being blood-related. It's not who your parents were, it's whether you see them as your sibling or not. It's all about the relationship. If that's your thing, then I won't judge you; I'll tolerate your interests, but I won't ever enjoy it.

I don't like reading Valjean/Javert, because I just imagine Hugh Jackman and Russell Crowe and *shudder* that's not something I ever want to think about. They're both very attractive respectively, but in that context, just... No.

Anyways, that's about it... If anyone's out there... *cricket*

Sigh* Whatever. Any questions, concerns, opinions, ideas, whatever whatever, feel free to contact me through a private message. I'll just be noodlin' around over here waiting for the apocalypse or something.

Ok, so I found one of those things where you list the top ten of something and then answer questions about the numbers, but it was for Bleach, and fanfiction, so obviously I borrowed it and did it and added some of my own questions and some of it IS SO FUNNY. Here goes.

Top Ten Bleach Characters:

1. Mayuri Kurotsuchi

2. Byakuya Kuchiki

3. Gin Ichimaru

4. Kisuke Urahara

5. Nnoitra Gilga

6. Shinji Hirako

7. Toshiro Hitsugaya

8. Grimmjow Jeagerjaques

9. Kenpachi Zaraki

10. Tatsuki Arisawa

1. Have you ever read a five/ten fic?

Tatsuki and Nnoitra? That's a little disturbing... Pedophilia...

2. Is three hot? How hot?

YES. OH MY LORD. His creepy Cheshire cat-grin... I love him. He is as hot as the burning flames of hell you bitches are going to.

3. What would happen if six got one pregnant?

That would never happen. Not in a million years. Not even if mpreg were possible.

4. Do you remember any good fics about nine?

Kira michi writes some pretty entertaining OC fics about him, two and seven.

5. Would seven and two make a good couple?

Bya-Bya and Shiro-chan? I've never really thought about it, but they actually would... Yeah, they're both kind of cold and distant, though admittedly in different ways, and they would be ridiculously discreet about it... Hmmmmm...

6. Four/eight or four/nine?

Four/eight definitely. I might even have read a fic where that happened, but only as a side story. Four/nine not so much. In my mind both Ken-chan and Kisuke are seme, although I suppose an exception would have to be made for four/eight.

7. What would happen if seven discovered three and eight in a secret relationship?

Probably nothing because one, he wouldn't care, and two, he would never be in a position to discover something like that. Grimmy and Gin would probably be in Hueco Mundo anyway.

8. Write a summary of at least twenty words for a two/six fic.

Byakuya/Shinji? Ooookaaaayyyy... "Byakuya had never given much thought to the Vizards, but looking back, he had always been curious about the case of the former captain."

9. Is there such a thing as a four/ten romantic fluff story?

Hmmm... Kisuke and Tatsuki... Not that I know of, but I suppose it could happen. Age differences aside of course.

10. Suggest a title for a one/five hurt/comfort fic.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! MAYURI AND NNOITRA? HURT/COMFORT? Like that would ever happen.

11. What kind if plot would you use if four wanted to seduce one?

Hmmm... Probably something set during Kisuke's captaincy and sponsorship of Mayuri. In the lab. Late at night. Ooooooh... That's good ;)

12. Does anyone you know read seven/nine slash?

Whoo, talk about opposites. No, but that's also a highly improbable pairing. I mean, just look at the size difference. That alone would be uncomfortable.

13. If you wrote a song fic about ten, what song would you choose?

"This Is What Rock n Roll Looks Like" by Porcelain Black because it's a kick-ass song and she's a kick-ass bitch. It would probably be an AU though, with her and Renji because I LOVE THEM.

14. If you wrote a two/three/six fic, what would the warning be?

Knowing Gin (and Shinji's mouth) probably: yaoi, swearing, non-con sex and majorly weird kinks. Unfortunately, I think Bya-Bya would be the one taking it, but only because he seems too refined to think up the depraved things that Gin and Shinji could. Unless, of course, he was a closet perv, and then it would be Shinji on bottom.

15. What pick-up line might eight use on five?

No pick-up line necessary ;) Unless it were something along the lines of "Wanna fuck?"

16. What would happen if five and six were locked in a closet together?

Either murder or really hot sex. I'm betting on the latter.

17. If two and nine had a drunken hook-up, what would happen the next morning?

HAHAHAHA Bya-Bya would leave as fast as humanly possible and Ken-chan would then tease him about it for the rest of his life. Both about getting drunk enough to not realize who he was having sex with and enjoying it.

18. What you have one do if they were in love with eight?

There would be some kidnapping up in here. I mean, really. As weird as it might be to think of Mayuri expressing any sort of affection, he would definitely do it through weird, convoluted ways like kidnapping Grimmy and dragging him around showing off his many experiments in an attempt to impress his captive.

19. Challenge: write a drabblefic for ten/eight.

This is actually kind of long, so I'm posting it as a seperate story.