Jacob-is-so-mine-and-noone-els Poll: Who is better loking? Vote Now! |
 Author has written 1 story for Twilight. Embry Imprints On Rosella--Alice's outfit --Rosella's dress My Favorite Twilight Saga Quotes "Ugh." I winced. "You know, Jacob, if it weren't for the fact that we're natural enemies and that you're also trying to steal away the reason for my existence, I might actually like you." "I hear voices in my mind and you're worried that you're the freak?" "I don't care who is a vampire and I don't care who is a werewolf. Your Jacob and He's Edward."- Bella "Breakfast time," he said eventually, casually... You're wounding my ego Bella. I just proposed to you, and you think it's a joke."- Edward what if I told you to take me to Vegas right now. would i be a vampire in three days? “Sure, I’ll go get my Volvo.” –Edward “Dammit” –Bella Bella and Edward Bella and Jacob Bella and Jacob "Watching Edward and Alice playing chess was one of the funniest things I had ever seen. They both sat there staring at the board, Alice predicting what moves he would make and Edward picking he moves from her mind. I think they had only moves two pieces when Alice flicked over her king and walked away. The whole thing took about three minutes" "Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars- points of light and reason. ...And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything." "Do you want my truck?" I offered...He rolled his eye's. "I could walk home faster than this truck move's." Bella and Edward "He said never to come through this door again. Technically i came in through the window." "Fall down again Bella?" Find a guy whos calls you beautiful instead of hot, Who calls you back when you hang up on him, Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead, Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats, Who holds your hand in public and in front of his friends and family. Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he loves you and how lucky he is to have you. If you think that describes Edward Cullen, copy it into your profile. Girl: Do I ever cross your mind? Boy: No Girl: Do you like me? Boy: No Girl: Do you want me? Boy: No Girl: Would you cry if I left? Boy: No Girl: Would you live for me? Boy: No Girl: Would you do anything for me? Boy: No Girl: Choose--me or your life Boy: My life The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says... The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind. The reason why I don't like you is because I love you. The reason I don't want you is because I need you. The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left. The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you. The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you. The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life. If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle Girl: Slow down, I'm scared! Guy: No, this is fun. Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared. Guy: Then tell me you love me. Girl: I love you, now slow down! Guy: Now give me a big hug. She gives him a big hug Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me. In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she could live. If you would do this for a loved one copy and paste. The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism Funny and Cool Stuff Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up. Friend's will always be like “well you deserve better” but best friends will be prank calling him saying “you will die in seven days” Boys are like trees-they take 50 years to grow up. EMO kids have cool hair. EMO=Extravagantly Made Origami BEARS=Butt Extremely Annoying Retard Scientists I read New Moon and I wanted to kick Jacob Black REALLY REALLY HARD. I read Eclipse and wanted to smack Jacob Black REALLY REALLY HARD. Then Bella did it for me. “Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.” “Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you’re a mile away from them and you have their shoes.” Excuse me... have you seen my sanity... I think I lost it. Why is Donkey Kong called “DONKEY” Kong if he’s a monkey? If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch? 364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door... No, I don’t have PMS. I just really hate you. My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it’s gone. Stupidity is not a crime so you’re free to go. “Hey guess who this is? You guessed it. Guess what you have to do now? You “Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.” “An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.” Life isn’t passing me by, it’s trying to run me over. Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it. Was that an earthquake, or did I just rock your world? My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil. Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary. Did you know Sarcasm is your body’s natural defense against stupidity? Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hate that. Paper may beat rock, but cannon ball make big hole in paper. The pen may be mightier than the sword, but my keyboard can crush your crummy pen! Therapist = the/rapist... scary thought. Don’t call me emo or I’ll cry big juicy tears of blood and pain and then I’ll die and it will be ALL YOUR FAULT. Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out. I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it! Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I loved you. I was doing fine till I ran out of stars. To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world. Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question. Some minds are like concrete; thoroughly mixed and permanently set. The town was so dull that when the tide went out it refused to come back in. Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. Tell the truth and run. Don’t follow me, I’m lost too. This is Bob. Bob likes sharp things. I suggest you run from Bob. Definition of Your Mom: How to answer a question when you’re bored Definition of homework: Some form of crude mind control still used in some primitive areas. One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions. WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff. I’m not afraid of Death, what’s it gonna do kill me? I’ll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter. When life gives you lemons, chuck them at people you hate. It doesn’t matter whether the glass is half empty or half full just drink it and get it over with. It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone. The world is full of crazy people. THEY MADE ME THEIR LEADER. So what if we act like immature idiots? We’re having fun. If at first you don’t succeed skydiving isn’t for you. Those who throw objects at crocodiles will be asked to retrieve them. Set sail in a general that way direction. It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I’ve found it? I’m sick of following my dreams, I’m just gonna ask where they're going and hook up with them later. Do I have to spell it out for you or scream it in you face? All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative. When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear. Education is important, school however, is another matter. What happens if you get scared half to death twice? I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they go by. Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic... Music is love in search of word. Are children who act in rated ‘R’ movies allowed to see them? Whose cruel idea was it for the words ‘lisp’ to have an‘s’ in it? How is it possible to have a civil war? When French people swear do they say pardon my English? Aren’t the ‘good things that come to those who wait’ just the leftovers from the people that got there first? If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later? Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out”? Who was the first person to say, “See that chicken over there ... I’m gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt”? Isn’t Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible? Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse? “Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?” Isn’t it funny how the word ‘politics’ is made up of the words ‘poli’ meaning ‘many’ in Latin, and ‘tics’ as in ‘bloodsucking creatures’? Why isn’t chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin? Why is it when some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down? Why do people say, “You can’t have your cake and eat it too”? Why would someone get cake if they can’t eat it? “When life hand you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own dang lemonade” Assassination is an extreme form of censorship. The sun has set, the moon has risen, today’s the day we get out of prison!! You say I’m not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I’m not cold, I’m hot. I know I’m hot. Thanks for embracing it. Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them. Don’t mess with me I’ve got a stick. He said I love you, I sneezed and said sorry I’m allergic to bullshit. I’ll be rich and famous when I invent something that will stab people over the internet. You’re just jealous because we act retarded in public and people still love us! Darth Vader- "Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!" I smile because I have no idea what’s going on! Life was so simple when boys had cooties I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends Boys are like slinkies, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs. I ran with scissors, and lived! You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder I’m the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday. When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n’ slide. I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love. I don’t obsess! I think intensely. Of course I’m talking to myself. Who else can I trust? Let me know if anything I say offends you, I might wanna offend you later. One way to figure out how things work, push all the buttons! I’m so gangster, I carry a squirt gun. When I say LOL I’m not laughing out laud. I just have nothing better to say. When I am at Hogwarts I will not: Ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling When I am at Hogwarts I will not: Sing “I’m Off to See the Wizard” when sent to the Headmasters office. I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers. All the good ones are gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies. Stupid shiny Volvo owner. The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the best in you. “When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.” “Those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it.” “Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else” “Real girls aren’t perfect, perfect girls aren’t real.” “I’d rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I’m not.” “What is easy is not always right, and what is right is not always easy.” “Guns don’t kill people. I do.” “A good friend bails you out of jail. A great friend is sitting there next to you saying ‘Man, that was fun!’” “If you can’t see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.” Bush gave an interview and he said people will vote for him because ‘They’ve seen me weep, they’ve seen me laugh, and they’ve seen me hug.’ These are the same qualifications for a Tickle Me Elmo. A recent survey stated that the average person’s greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you’re telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy. I’m not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? Death is God’s way of saying “You’re fired.” If ya can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. Unfortunately, you can’t die of a broken heart. Heaven doesn’t want me, and Hell’s afraid I’ll take over. “He who stands on a windowsill to see how far out he can lean without falling is a moron.” “If you know me, chances are you hate me.” “I’m the kind of person your parents warned you about.” “Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but words will hurt my inner child” “Don’t judge a book by its cover or a person by their scars” “It’s not until you’re broken that you know what you’re made of.” “Tired of living and scared of dying.” “It requires MORE courage to suffer than to die.” “You said that you would die for me, you must live for me too”. “To die is nothing but a long goodbye.” “This isn’t just goodbye, this is I can’t stand you.” “I hear your silence loud and clear.” “The past is only the future with the lights on.” “Shut up voices or I’ll poke you with a fork Girls Funny Vampire Jokes: Q. Why did the vampire need mouthwash? A. Because he had bat breath. Q. How did the ghost say goodbye to the vampire? A. So long sucker! Q. Why did the Vampire read the Wall Street Journal? A. He heard it had great circulation. Q. What did the skeleton say to the vampire? A. You suck. Q. What is a vampires favorite holiday? A. Fangsgiving Q. How does a girl vampire flirt? A. She bats her eyes. Q. Which building does Dracula visit in New York? A. The Vampire State Building. Q. Why do vampires scare people? A. They are bored to death! Q. How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? A. Every night he turns into a bat. Q. What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire? A. It’s a pain in the neck. Q. How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery? A. All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts. Q. What’s it called when a vampire has trouble with his house? A. A grave problem. 16 ways to maintain a Healthy level of insanity. 1. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars, see if they slow down. 2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice. 3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. 4. Put a garbage can on your desk and label it “IN” 5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone is over their Caffeine addictions, switch to expresso. 6. Finish all your sentences with “In Accordance to the Prophecy”. 7.Don’t use any punctuation. 8. As often as possible, skip rather than walk. 9. Specify that your drive thru order is “To Go” 10. Sing Along at the Opera 11. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme. 12. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day. 13. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream “I WON I WON!!” 14. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling “Run for your lives, they’re loose!!” 15. Tell your children over diner, “Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.” 16. Send this to your friends to make them smile, It’s called therapy. 1. Your reading my comment This poem is really sad so be prepared... My name is Chris. I am three, My eyes are swollen I cannot see, I must be stupid I must be bad, What else could have made My daddy so mad? I wish I were better I wish I weren't ugly, Then maybe my mommy Would still want to hug me. I can't do a wrong I can't speak at all Or else im locked up All day long. When im awake im all alone The house is dark My folks aren't home When my mommy does come home I'll try and be nice, So maybe i'll just get One whipping tonight. I just heard a car My daddy is back From Charlie's bar. I hear him curse My name is called I press myself Against the wall I try to hide From his evil eyes I'm so afraid now I'm starting to cry He finds me weeping Calls me ugly words, He says its my fault He suffers at work. He slaps and hits me And yells at me more, I finally get free And run to the door He's already locked it And i start to bawl, He takes me and throws me Against the hard wall I fall to the floor With my bones nearly broken, And my daddy continues With more bad words spoken, "I'm sorry!", I scream But its now much to late His face has been twisted Into a unimaginable shape The hurt and the pain Again and again O please God, have mercy! O please let it end! And he finally stops And heads for the door While i lay there motionless Sprawled on the floor My name is Chris I am three, Tonight my daddy murdered me IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILDABUSE, COPY THAT POEM INTO YOUR PROFILE! Okay now this really scared me there were 3girls They were looking through peoples The girl slowly came upon this one It had creatures in the background and the man She started laughing with her friend commenting on how ugly he was. Right then, an instant message came up. It said: SatanStalker: So how do u like my XxLoVemExX: What?? XxLoVemExX: Who is this anyway?? SatanStalker: Well, you should know; XxLoVemExX: How do you know that im looking at ur pro?? SatanStalker:I know when people look at my MySpace. XxLoVemExX: What? That doesnt make SatanStalker: I just do. Satanstalker: Especially to pretty girls like you. Satanstalker: With very nice legs I might say. At the time the girl was wearing high She started to pull them down a little bit to cover what XxLoVemExX: Ok whatever man youre starting to scare the living sht out of me. SatanStalker: You should be afraid. SatanStalker: You wouldnt want an ugly guy like me touching your legs huh? I mean thats what you They were in shock. Her friend: Holy crap man just block him The girl: Ok holy crap, you think hes SatanStalker: I am. SatanStalker: Well it wouldnt really XxLoVemExX: What? My house? SatanStalker: Yeah, youre alone so its XxLoVemExX: Ok I think Im going to leave now because youre freaking me out. SatanStalker: Your screen name says SatanStalker has just signed off. The girl and her friend were really friend: Whatever lets just go upstairs trust me I doubt hes really coming. Its just a joke from someone. They went upstairs and were having a pillow fight. All of a sudden the girls friend said she had to go to the bathroom. The girl said ok. Ten minutes later the girl noticed that her friend was She goes and knocks but no one said she opens it and finds her friend there on her neck sliced with blood all over the ground. with her head nailed to the wall. Just her head. If you do not repost this in the next two one in your room, and one killing your parents at that Tonight at 1:30am. Well what are you waiting for? Repost or you are going to die. About six years ago in Indiana, Carmen Winstead was pushed down a sewer opening by five girls in her school, trying to embarrass her in front of her school during a fire drill. When she didn't submerge, the police were called. They went down and brought up 17-year-old Carmen Winstead's body, with her neck broken from hitting the ladder, then the concrete at the bottom. The girls told everyone she fell... They believed them. FACT: About two months later, 16-year-old David Gregory read this post and didn't repost it. When he went to take a shower, he heard laughter, started freaking out, and ran to his computer to repost it. He said goodnight to his mom and went to sleep, but five hours later, his mom woke up in the middle of the night from a loud noise and David was gone. A few hours later, the police found him in the sewer, with a broken neck and the skin on his face peeled off. Even Google her name - you'll find this to be true. If you don't repost this saying "They hurt her," then Carmen will get you, either from a sewer, the toilet, the shower, or when you go to sleep, you'll wake up in the sewer, in the dark, then Carmen will come and kill you |
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