If you are a walking, talking Twilight series encyclopidia and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile. (yes)

You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volturi" to your computer's dcitionary. If you have done just that, copy this into your profile. (yes)

If you have so many dreams about Twilight that you have lost count, copy and paste this to your profile. (DUH)

IF you ahve ever burst out laughing about something in a book, and people look at you weird, copy and paste this to your profile. (yes)

If you have a tendency to talk/sing to yourself, copy and past this to your profile.

Parents spend the first half of your life teaching you to walk and talk, and the other half telling you to sit down and shut up. (yes)

I'm not afraid of death. What's it going to do? Kill me? (yes haha)

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile, and only 4 to reach out and slap someone!

Why spell it out to you if I can scream it in your face?

If you can't beat them, join them
If you can't join them, sue them,
then rub it in their faces.

Who ever said that words don't hurt never got hit by a dictionary.

How come parents always say, "Don't take candy from strangers," But on Halloween, it is encouraged?

Ms. whoever: ...You have to tell the computer exactly what you want it to do! It can't read your mind!!

ME: (Sighs)...Technology is no replacement for Edward Cullen.

I love twilight

I have OCD: Obsessive Cullen Disorder.
Edward Cullen killed Bambi's mom.
I like my men cold, dead, and sparkling.
Twilight, Twilight Twilight, Twilight, Twilight, Twilight. What obsession

WIWAVS: Wishing I A Vampire Syndrome.

Stupid Test:

18 or lower means you’re not stupid.

Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talking.

Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were NOT talking.

You have ran into a glass/screen door.

You have jumped out of a moving vehicle. (do bikes count??)

You have thought of something funny and laughed, then people gave you weird looks.

total= 5

You have ran into a tree.

It IS possible to lick your elbow

You just tried to lick your elbow.

You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same rhythm.

You just tried to sing them.

You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen.

You have choked on your own spit.

You have seen the the Matrix and still don’t get it.

You didn’t notice that in the last question “the” was spelled twice

You just looked at it.

Your hair is blonde/dirty blonde. (How does this make you stupid?)

People have called you slow.

total so far= 13

You have accidentally caught something on fire

You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose/eyes/cheek.

You have caught yourself drooling.

You’ve fallen asleep in class

If someone says “fart” you laugh.

You just laughed.

total so far= 17 (yikes)

Sometimes you just stop thinking

You tell a story and forget what you were talking about

People are often shaking their heads and walking away from you

You are often told to use your “inside voice”.

You use your fingers to do simple math.

total so far= 22

You have eaten a bug.

You are taking this test when you should be doing something important

You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn’t realize it

You’ve looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand or pocket

total so far= 26

You sometimes post bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen to you if you don’t even when you know it won’t happen to you.

You break a lot of things.

Your friends know not to use big words around you

You sometimes tilt your head when you’re confused

You have fallen out of your chair before (thanks to lots of hilarious fanfiction writers, thank you vedi much!)

When you’re laying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture of the ceiling

total so far= 30

total= 30

OMG!! THATS SAD!! serioudly, i knew i was stupid at times, but just lol

The Good Ol' Days I highlighted the ones I specifically remember..

You can finish this 'ice ice _'

You remember watching Doug, Ren & Stimpy, Pinky and the Brain, Bobby's World, Felix the cat, The Tick...AAAAAAAH Real Monsters!

You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"

You just cant resist finishing this . . . "Iiiiiiin west philidelphia born and raised . . ."

You remember TGIF, Step by Step, Family Matters, Dinosaurs, and Boy Meets World.

You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.

You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.

You remember reading "Goosebumps"

You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.

You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not

If you remember seeing hot tub bubbles make bubbly sounds before every music video on VH1.

when everything was settled by rock paper scissors..or bubble gum bubble gum in a dish...eeny meeny miney mo...and even better daddy had a donkey inky binky bonky.

You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time.

"Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?" was both a game and a TV game show.

Captain Planet. He's a Hero.

You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green ranger, were meant to be together.

You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular.

You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny.

You remember watching Home Alone 1, 2 , and 3 . . . and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"

You remember watching The Magic School Bus, Wishbone, and Reading Rainbow on PBS.

You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.

You remember those Where's Waldo books.

You remember eating Warheads.

You remember watching the 1st Batman, Aladdin, Ninja Turtles, and 3 Ninjas movies.

You remember Ring Pops.

You remember drinking Surge, and Tang.

If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!"

When they made the new lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos.

You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.

Making those little paper cootie-catcher things, and then predicting your life with them.

You played and/or collected "Pogs"

You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, or Nano and brought it everywhere.

. . . Furbies

Saved By The Bell was the coolest show ever!

You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet.

And Windows 95 was the best.

You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles.

Michael Jordan was a king.

YIKES pencils and erasers were the stuff!

All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.

You remember when the new Beanie Babies and Talking Elmo were always sold out.

You collected those Beanie Babies.

Mortal Kombat was awesome--the game and the movie

Carebears

Gak was the coolest stuff invented.

Lambchop's song never ended.

The old dollar bills.

Silver dollars, which were cool to have.

You remember a time before the WB.

You collected all the Troll dolls

You had to read Weekly Reader's in class.

If you even know what an original walkman is.

You remember wanting to sit on the orange Nickelodeon couch.

You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?" (is it pathetic to still be scared of that stuff))

You know the Macarena by heart.

"Talk to the hand" . . . enough said

You always said, "Then why don't you marry it!"

You remember trying to collect all 150 original pokemon cards but never could and if you did you thought you were all that!

You remember Highlight's magazine.

You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace.

You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground.

Before the MySpace frenzy . . .

Before the Internet & text messaging . . .

Before Sidekicks & iPods . . . (horrible times! absolutely HORRIBLE!)

Before MIKE JONES . . .

Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX . . .

Before Spongebob . . .

Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.

When light up sneakers were cool.

When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.

When gas was 0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was The new thing.

When we recorded stuff on VCRs.

When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off of our walkmans.

When gameboy was a brick.

You did MASH to figure out your future

When you weren't cool unless you had a Starter jacket.

Way back.

Before we realized all this would eventually disappear.

Who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!

Post this in your profile if you remember these days . . . . or if you smiled at one of these things

haha!, i was born in '97, lol, i just remember like '02, and all this stuff was cool

To The Unfair Judgemeny In The World!

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.

I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz

I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.

I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.

I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.

I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.

I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...

I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore

I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.

I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.

I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals

I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".

I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!

I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.

I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be doing them all.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.

I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.

I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.

I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.

I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO

I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.

I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited

I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13

I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy

I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy

I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas

Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction

Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude

Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.

I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.

I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.

I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff

I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks

I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7

I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.

I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.

I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.

I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.

I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA

I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect

I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black

I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil (So I’ve been told)

I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.

I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.

I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.

I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob

I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.

I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon

I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.

I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.

I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.

I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.

I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.

I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.

I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.

I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.

I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.

I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.

I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.

I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.

I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.

I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.

My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.

I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.

I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.

I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.

I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.

I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse

I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist

I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.

I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.

I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.

I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.

I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.

I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.

I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.

I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep

I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.

I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.

I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.

I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.

I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and want to castrate every man on the earth.

I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.

I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.

I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.

I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!

I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.

I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.

I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE

I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser

I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy

I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.

I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.

I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins

I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan

I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion

I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.

I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.

I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.

I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.

I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.

I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.

I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.

I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.

I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.

I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast

I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish

I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.

I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.

I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.

I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.

I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroos.

I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times

I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.

I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.

I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.

I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.

I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.

I an friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.

I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.

I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist

I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake

I DON"T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems

I'm a PERSON so I MUST be LABELED

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile

92 percent American teens would die if Abecrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their butts off at the others.

If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which makes weird good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy & paste this onto your profile.

If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile.

If you've ever sung a song you hated so much, copy and paste this into your profile. (I seem to get backstreet boys songs stuck in my head ALL the time)

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

If you've ever stayed up all night just to watch the sunrise, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

if there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile

If you have OCD (Obsessive Cullen Disorder), copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

98 of teenagers have participated in underage drinking and drugs. If you're one of the 2 who hasn't, copy this into your profile wearing a smirk of pride.

If you think that TWILIGHT is the best book known to man...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have a love/hate realationship with Jacob Black copy and paste this to your profile

If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freakin' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile.

98 of teenagers do drugs, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels.

If whenever you see or hear the name "Jasper, or Jacob" you freak out and have a small fit because you love them so much, and then people stare at you, copy and paste this into your profile

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

If you think that losers hate/don't get Twilight, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you and your friend break out into song in a public area put this on your profile

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with Twilight that whenever you hear thunder you think of vampires playing baseball. Copy and paste this into your profile

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy this into your profile

If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN copy this into your profile

AACIBD is Addicted to All Cullen’s Including Bella Disorder.

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever been pushed into an ice-cold pool copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever forgotten your name while introducing yourself, copy this to your profile.

If when you have a child, you'd consider naming them Jasper or Alice, copy this into your profile

Even when you can’t see Him, GOD is there! if you believe in GOD put this in your profile.

If you are on Team Switzerland, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that Emmett absolutely ROCKS, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you cried, screamed, or threw a fit when Edward left Bella in New Moon, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that the Twilight books are the best books known to woman and man or dog, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that writing or reading Fanfic stories is fun, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you agree with Bella that life without Edward is useless, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever acted like a paranoid fool because you believe (or wish) that the Twilight characters exist, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've started having dreams featuring Twilight characters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If several inanimate objects hate you, post this on profile.

If whenever you see a Volvo drive down the street you chase it screaming, "EDWARD!" copy and paste to your profile!

If you think Emmett is wayyy Better than Edward, copy and paste to your profile!

If you want Bella to turn into a vampire, copy and paste this into your profile

95 percent of teenagers care about popularity. If you like pretzels, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're a fan of Edward Cullen, save a cow, eat a lion.

If you've ever burst into song for no reason Copy and paste this to your profile

If, when you have a girl, you'll seriously consider naming her Isabella...copy/paste this into your profile

If you have ever heard the voices of the characters of the book you're reading in your head...copy/paste this into your profile.

If you've ever tried putting your hair behind your ears, and ended up poking yourself in the eye...copy/paste this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a mirror...copy/paste this into your profile.

If you are in love with a Twilight character, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you flip whenever you see someone reading a Twilight series book and you want to talk to them all about it, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you took the time to read all of these (and you usually do), copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have ever thought of something funny, started laughing, and fell & hit your head on something hard, and ended up laughing harder than you were before, copy and paste this into your profile.

If someone mentions Twilight, you can go on for hours talking about it, copy this to your profile.

If your friends are considering torturing you because you won't shut up about the Twilight series, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile

If you are crazy and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile.

If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?"

If you are in lala land most of the time copy this into your profile.

If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy this into your profile.

If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think having two "Shift" keys on a keyboard is utterly stupid and pointless, copy this onto your profile

If you have a Twilight playlist on your iPod, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile. (Jacob, Rosalie and Jane all the way)

If you think the semi-colon is completely useless, stupid, annoying and plotting to destroy the English language as we know it, put this in your pro!

If you think rock paper scissors solves everything then put this in your profile!

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile

98 percent of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

If you think Bella is out of her mind for saying no to Edward's proposal in New Moon and you want to hit her hard upside the head with a blunt axe, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever not known where you were when there was a sign right next to you, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever tripped over air, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're random, and proud of it, post this onto your profile.

If you have ever walked into the men's toilets instead of the ladies or vice versa, paste this onto your profile.

ADHD is Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder.

If you have ever become so obsessed with something that it is NOT even funny anymore and people think you’re insane, copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think the Coca-coca Puff Turky-Bird thing should go to rehab, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile

You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volterra" to your computer's dictionary. If you have done just that, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile.

If you adore chocolate and frequently suffer from chocolate cravings while you have no access to the heavenly substance, copy this into your profile.

If one of your best friends IS insane, copy this into your profile.

If you and your friends have nicknames, titles, or anything else for each other copy this to your profile.

If there are times where you wanna annoy people, just for the heck of it copy this to your profile.

If you like Subway, copy this onto your profile.

If you spend multiple hours a day reading or writing or a combination of both, copy this onto your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

93 percent of teenagers would have an emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you are part of the 7 percent that would say "What was your first clue?” copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever walked into a wall, copy this onto your profile

If you get ticked and throw a fit until all the people in the room leave because someone said the characters of Twilight aren't real, copy this onto your profile

If you are addicted to copy and pastes, copy and paste this into your profile

People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door

If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do

If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile

If you've had at least two friends move away from you...copy and paste this onto your profile.

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

You're just jealous because the voices in my head talk to me and not you.

I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

All the good ones are either gay, married, vampires or fictional characters in books or movies.

If you haven't died yet, copy and past

AV is Addicted to Vampires

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back!

My night in shining armour turned out to be a loser in aluminium foil.

Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.

Before you criticize some one, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you’re a mile away and you still have their shoes.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.

I smile because I have no idea what’s going on.

Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

Dear Heart, I met a boy today, prepare to shatter.

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.

If you think iPods were gifts from the gods copy and paste this onto your profile

If you think the human identification thing when you log in to fan fiction is annoying, copy and past this into your profile.

You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, I get a paddle boat and save your stupid a--.

I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

Emmett Cullen: Stronger Than You since 1915

Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies since 1843

Alice Cullen: Quirkier than You since 1901

Rosalie Hale: Better Than You since 1915

I read Eclipse and I wanted to kick Jacob Black REALLY REALLY HARD

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you have absolutely no idea what "lowlights" are, paste this on your profile

If you would so marry Jack Dawson from the Titanic copy and paste this on your profile

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile (Hee hee, Twilight...)

You know what makes letting go of a crush so hard? The fear that the moment you let go, they'll catch on.

Jacob Black glared at the children dressed as vampires and he knew it wasn't right but he lied and told them there was no candy left anyway. (He's a bitch)

On a package of peanuts: open package, eat nuts. (What were you supposed to do? Throw them at the people sitting near you?)

On a child's Superman costume: Warning: Wearing this garment does not enable you to fly. (I blame the parents for that one)

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

I live in my own little world- but it's ok, they know me there.

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you

A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.

A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend already has a shovel ready to bury the loser who made you cry.

A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you.

A good friend will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. A best friend will throw you a tampon and push you in.

A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.

A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

A good friend has never seen you cry. A best friend won't tell anyone else that you cried...just laugh about it in private with you when you aren't down anymore.

A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial.

A good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. A best friend will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

A good friend knows a few things about you. A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story.

A good friend tells you she knows how you feel. A best friend just sits down and cries.

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods..

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee getting bigger?" Then it hits me.

Whoever said, "Nothing's impossible," never tried slamming a revolving door.

Being mature is overrated.

Slinky + Escalator = Endless fun!

One out of four people is insane. Look at three of your friends. If it's not them, it's you.

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip 'n slide!

"What you're looking for is always in the last place you look" Well, DUH, smart one! After you find it, you stop looking!

Whose cruel idea was it to put "S" in the word "Lisp"?

My name is Sarah

I am three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can't do a wrong

I can't speak at all

Or else im locked up

All day long.

When im awake im all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren't home

When my mommy does come home

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe i'll just get

One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie's bar.

I hear him curse

My name is called

I press myself

Against the wall

I try to hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now

I'm starting to cry

He finds me weeping

Calls me ugly words,

He says its my fault

He suffers at work.

He slaps and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And run to the door

He's already locked it

And i start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken,

"I'm sorry!", I scream

But its now much to late

His face has been twisted

Into a unimaginable shape

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

O please God, have mercy!

O please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door

While i lay there motionless

Brawled on the floor

My name is Sarah

I am three,

Tonight my daddy

Murdered me

IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILDABUSE, COPY THAT POEM INTO YOUR PROFILE!!

Children in the front seat can lead to accidents,accidents in the back seat can lead to children

Death is GODs way of saying your fired,sucided is mans way of saying you cant fire me i quit

Come to the dark side . . . WE HAVE COOKIES!

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door.

I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it.

Perfection is a waste of time.

Engineering: 'How will this work?' Science:'Why will this work?' Management: 'When will this work? Liberal Arts:'Do you want fries with that?

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; I'm not sure about the universe.

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

I blame my attitude on videogames

There is stupid coming out of your mouth hole again

God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made women.

So many boys, so many reasons to stay alone

I didn't mean to hurt your feelings...I was aiming for your face

Vampires vs. Werewolves...It's kinda like pirates vs ninjas, but cooler

I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes.

Heaven doesnt wan't me and Hell is afraid I'll take over.

When you’re down I may not be able to pick you back up, but I promise I’ll be willing to lay down right next to you

Tired of living and scared of dying: Become a vampire!

Scared to remember, terrified to forget

I hear your silence loud and clear

Why do today what you could put off till tomorrow?

How can i miss you if you never left?

I'm not with stupid anymore!

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them more

Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them.

Don’t mess with me I've got a stick.

Boys are like purses: cute, full of crap, and always replaceable

Boys are like skateboards, they can go fast but usually there pretty slow.

Boys are like knives, usefull but they'll cut you eventually.

If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.

Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't

Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into doors

Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?

'Hold my purse.'

He Said: I don't know why you wear a bra, you have nothing to put in it.

She Said: You wear pants don't you?

People often ignore the simple things in life. If someone really annoys you, it takes 42 muscles to frown. On the other hand, it only takes 4 muscles to reach over and bitch slap that retard upside the head.

Comebacks to crappy pickup lines!-(Hilarious)

Man: "I know how to please a woman."

Woman: "Then please leave me alone."

Man: "I want to give myself to you."

Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy:

Woman: "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing".

Man: "Your body is like a temple."

Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."

Man: "I'd go through anything for you."

Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."

Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you.

Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?

Man: "So, wanna go back to my place ?"

Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

Man: "Your place or mine?"

Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."

Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"

Woman: "It's in the phone book."

Man: "But I don't know your name."

Woman: "That's in the phone book too."

Man: "So what do you do for a living?"

Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."

Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"

Woman: "Do not Enter"

Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"

Woman: "Unfertilized !"

Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"

Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"

Man: "Haven't we met before?"

Woman: "Perhaps. I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."

Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?

Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

Man: "Is this seat empty?"

Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

My best friends are the kind that if my house were on fire, they'd be roasting marsh mellows and flirting with the firemen

You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose,but you cant pick your friends nose.

Hey you? yeah you? you right there? no not you. yeah you? Do you like tacos?

A large percent of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you're one of the ones who does know and wants to slug them, copy and paste this into your profile.

A large percent of writers don't know the difference between "to" and "too". If you're one of the ones who does know and wants to slug them, copy and paste this into your profile.

You know when you live in 2008 when...

1.) You accidentaly enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or my space

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) You were too busy nodding and smiling to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.

If you like chocolate as much as I do copy this in your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C.C. or The Hills, never have, never will, and are proud of it, put this on your profile.

98 percent of teenagers smoke or have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, put this on your profile.

If your obsessed with fanfiction, copy this on your profile.

If your profile is way too long, copy this and make it longer.

If you have ever gotten so sidetracked in a converstation that you don't remember what you were talking about in the first place, copy

this onto your profile.

If you ran up a "Down" escalator, copy this into your profile .

If you have gotten hit by a basketball, soccer ball, baseball, or volleyball, more than 5 times, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. The irony...

If you have ever burned any sort of food in the microwave, oven, toaster, or on the stove, copy and paste this into your profile

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think the cocoa puff turkey bird thing should go to rehab, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

You laugh because I'm different...

I laugh cause I just saw a quail!

What you call dog with no legs?

Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.

"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss."

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?

How Many Roads Must A Man Walk Down Before He Admits Hes lost?

"Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together."

He who laughs last didn't get it.

After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

The road to success is always under construction.

Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

This is this cat

This is is cat

This is how cat

This is to cat

This is keep cat

This is a cat

This is dumbass cat

This is busy cat

This is for cat

This is forty cat

This is seconds cat

Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top lol

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'butterfly, Enrica (i always change my penname)(tehehehe) PurpleBunniesWillRuleTheWorld, Roxxi-and-Ali, IsabellaMarieSwan123, Paper Hearts and Paper Cuts, mahalo4ursupport, Kuro Uchiha, inuyasha1106, kamiry, hinata 7875960400,annanna20, ForeverTwilight-Nikki

If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile.

If you like to write, copy/paste this in your profile.

If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile.

If you always say 'uhhh...' when someone questions you, instead of replying shortly, copy/paste this into your profile.

I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...

If you think that writing Fanfic stories is fun then copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever wondered why someone decided to milk a cow, copy/paste this into your profile.

you think TV Golf is the mst boring thing on TV... copy and paste this into your profile.

Just because we eat animals for food, doesn't mean we can cut them up for clothing! If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc, copy this into your profile

If 2 of your friends jumped off a cliff, would you be standing there laughing your ass off. If you are copy and paste this

If you think Stewie Griffin should take over the world copy and paste this.

have you ever been hurt because you daydreaming,if you have copy and paste on your profile

have your friends tell you that you are to obsess with fics that you are scaring them, copy and paste to your profile

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudge! If you are really random put this on your profile.

If you think that I think that you think that I think that you think that I am totally spazzing out right now with the 'If you thinks' copy this to your profile already!

If you think that life without computers is useless, copy this to your profile.

If you hear voices in your head, copy and paste this onto your profile!

If you have ever choked on air (or any other substance you thought imposible to choke on), copy this in your profile.

If you believe that the pink bunnies of doom are really out to get you copy and paste this onto your profile

Can you raed tihs? Olny srmat poelpe can. I cdnuol't blveiee taht I cluod aulactly uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rsceearch at Cmabridge Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. If you can raed tihs, cpoy and ptsae tihs itno yuor pofirle!

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murderer chanted," Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiilling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.

There's a 13 year old girl, and she wished

that her dad would come home from

the army, because he'd been having

problems with his heart and right

leg. It was 2:53 p.m . When she made

her wish. At 3:07 p.m. (14 minutes

later), the doorbell rang, and

there her Dad was, luggage and all!!

I'm Katie and I'm 20 and I've been

having trouble in my job and on the

verge of quitting. I made a simple

wish that my boss would get a new

job. That was at 1:35 and at 2:55

there was an announcement that he

was promoted and was leaving for

another city. Believe me...this

really works!

My name is Ann and I am 45 years

of age. I had always been single

and had been hoping to get into a

nice, loving relationship for many

years. While kind of daydreaming

(and right after receiving this email)

I wished that a quality person would

finally come into my life. That was at

9:10 AM on a Tuesday. At 9:55 AM

a FedEx delivery man came into my

office.He was cute, polite and

could not stop smiling at me. He

started coming back almost everyday

(even without packages) and asked me

out a week later. We married 6

months later and now have been

happily married for 2 years.

What a great email it was!!

Just scroll down to the end, but

while you do, think of a wish.

Make your wish when you have completed

scrolling. Whatever age you are, is the

number of minutes it will take for your

wish to come true. ex.you are 25 years

old, it will take 25 minutes for your wish

to come true).

Go for it!

SCROLL DOWN!

STOP!

Congratulations! Your wish will

now come true in your age minutes.

Now follow this carefully...it

can be very rewarding!

If you repost this within the next 5 min.

something major that you've been wanting

will happen.

This is scary!

The phone will ring right after you repost!

THINGS TO DO WHEN IN WAL-MART

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in houseware to go off at 5 minute

intervals.

3 . Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the toilet.

4. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on hold.

5. Move a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the houseware and tell other shoppers you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When an assistant asks if they can help you, begin to cry and

ask,"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. While handling knives in the kitchen ware department ask the clerk

if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

9. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme

from Mission Impossible.

10. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through shout,

"PICK ME! PICK ME!!"

11. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

12. Go into a fitting room and yell real loudly..."Hey! We're out of

toilet paper in here!"

13. Go into the Butchers Department and start rubbing steaks up and down on your face saying " oooohhhh that feels so good"

14. Go to the fruit and veg department - get two bananas' and put one in each pocket - walk around the store calling everyone pilgrim in your best John wayne accent sporadically whipping them out of you pocket - making gun

noises and then slumping to the floor as if you've just taken several

bullets to the chest.

15. Bring your own DVD, popcorn, sweets, drinks and nibbles and pick a

nice spot on the floor in the electrical section. Sit cross legged and enjoy the film. (soap operas and kleenex are optional)

16. Take boneless chicken breasts out of the packet and throw them skyward whilst screaming" Fly my little ones, fly and be free!"

17. Randomly jump into people's shopping carts asking "Will you be my mommy?"

Crazy Quiz - "Am I Crazy?"

This quiz is so crazy. Really. But wait, are you crazy too? How crazy? Quiz yourself to see just how crazy you are...are the voices talking to you now? Ahh! (Highlight your answer)

Do I know you?

That's it! This interview is over.

I don't believe we've met.

Wait, lemme ask the others...

I can't wait! GIMME THE RESULTS!

What is your favorite color?

What are you getting at?

Brown

Purplellow

My nose itches, I think I have a booger.

Do you believe in the Tooth Fairy?

No, that's a conspiracy! Who are you!? Is this Santa?! I KNEW IT!

No, I hate the idea of someone in my room without knowing it.

Actually, I AM the Tooth Fairy.

Did someone say Santa's here? Santa!?

If you could go anywhere crazy, where would you want to go?

Area 51. I know it's there!

A sterile white room with padding on the walls

Disneyland!...no..LA...no...New York...no...

Canada...or...ENGLAND...we could go on a road trip!!

What is your favorite type of candy?

No, I don't eat candy, they might have razor blades in 'em

M&Ms. But only the brown ones.

Skittles. All those colors...

PIXIE STIX! Do you have some?

There's a clown at your party and he gives you a balloon. You...

Destroy the balloon...it is a communist!

Ask for another balloon that looks more like a perfect circle.

Ask for...thirteen...more...no, wait...fourteen more

Run around with it, lose it when distracted by a kickball, play dodge ball...

What's your situation? Men and women can go crazy in various ways, for different reasons.

I'm a woman.

I'm a man.

I used to be a woman, but now I don't know. I think someone stole my gender. Was it YOU?

Cry me a river build me a bridge do us all a favor and jump off of it.

A northern fairy tale starts out "once upon a time.."

A southern fairy tale starts out "y'all ain't gon' believe this shit!"

Murphy's Law of Combat: "Never forget that your weapon was manufactured by the lowest bidder"

Even if the voices are not real, they have some good ideas.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory

Specify that your drive-thru order is to go, it confuses people

My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems

When I have a kid, I want to put him in one of those strollers for twins and then run around the mall looking frantic.

I can look at a car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.

An escalator can never break. It can only become stairs. You would never see an "Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order" sign, just "Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience."

Arguing over the internet is like the Special Olympics: even if you do win, you're still retarded.

I respect vegetarians and their decisions, but my thinking is ~ I'm on top of the food chain here, so if I can get it, I can eat it. if a cow figures out how to kill me and eat me, more power to him!

Cancel My Subscription, cuz I'm sick of your issues!!

When they put unknown at the end of a quote, that means they probably don't no how to spell anonymous

Dumb is just not knowing..

Ditzy is having the courage to ask Don't get high on life:

cereal hurts when it gets stuck up your nose

If you could read my mind...you'd be the 2nd smartest person on earth

I have a hobby. I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it scattered on beaches all over the world. Maybe you've seen some of it.

I got stopped by a cop the other day. He said, "Why'd you run that stop sign?" I said, "Because I don't believe everything I read."

If you're robbing a bank and you're pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh and to let the hostages laugh too, because, come on, life is funny

After a year in therapy, my psychiatrist said to me, 'Maybe life isn't for everyone.'

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac

Transported to a surreal landscape, a young girl kills the first woman she meets and then teams up with three complete strangers to kill again.-= Marin County newspaper's TV listing for "The Wizard of Oz" =-

Join the army, meet interesting people, kill them.

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world everyday always just exactly fits the newspaper

YAY MORE QUOTES!:

Isn't having a smoking section in a resturant like having a peeing section in the pool?

I live in my own little world, but it's okay. They know me there.

Everyday, I beat my previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.

Middle age is when you buy the cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiousity was framed.

When in doubt, make up words! LIKE LAMAVERSE (DO NOT STEAL MY WORD!)

I’m not clumsy…the floor just hates me

RANDOMNESS IS GOOD!