xxXElizaBeth3798Xxx
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Poll: In 'Texters will be Killers' Who should Izzy fall for? Vote Now!
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Joined 01-31-10, id: 2237425, Profile Updated: 08-23-11

NAME: Emily/lizzy (don't ask.)

AGE: why would you WANT to know?

GENDER: one second, let me check ... yeah, i'm pretty sure im female.

LOCATION: NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!

FAV. MUSICIANS: Paramore, Justin Bieber and, ME!:)

FAV. ANIMALS: ? I don't Know, a panther so it could eat a very ANNOYING boy at my school. (cough) Skyler (cough) Brown (cough).

FAV. MOVIES: TWILIGHT!, Hocas Pocas and, any fantasy or sci-fi movie, basically.

fAV. BOOKS: TWILGHT!, New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn AND, THE PERCY JACKSON SERIES!!(SIGH!)

LIKES: reading, writing, swimming, singing and, listening to music

DISLIKES: PREPS(EWW!!) and PINK(the color AND the singer. it looks like somebody threw up ketchup!!) and Brittany Spears(DISGUSTING!) and my cat(MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW)!!

I am put ing my storie(s) up for adoption so contact me if you would like to adopt one of them!


here are some randome things : hope you like it!!

You know you live in 2009 when...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years.

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or myspace.

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job...

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did


If you hate, hate, hate, HATE, H A T E it when people go 'I suck at summaries' in their summary, because they really should think about what they put in their summary as carefully as they should think about their actual story and not waste people's time writing 'I suck at summaries', when that is neither a summarization of their story nor any use to anyone, not even those who appreciate modesty, because that's not being modest, that's a failure to sell yourself or your story - especially when you think about books in bookstores, and try to think of the last time you looked on the back of a book and found the author saying, "Sorry, I suck at summaries!"- copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are in love with fictional characters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you always have your daydreams to keep you company and talk to, copy this onto your profile

If you are in Drama Club at your school, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you make up your own copy and paste thingies, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever gone to edit your profile, saw all your cut and paste things, and thought "DAMN! That is a lot of crap!" copy and paste this to your profile

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think Fang is hot...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile.

If you are anti-social sometimes copy this into your profile.

If you ever felt like killing someone (or more than one person) because they wouldn't leave you alone when you told them not to distract you because you were busy copy this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects...copy this into your profile.

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writitng or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane copy and paste this onto your profile.

Ninety-eight percent of teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy this and paste it in your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever randomly fallen out of your chair, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever fallen going up the stairs, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever pushed on a door that said pull (or Vice Versa) copy this into your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which makes weird good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy & paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you are random and don't care, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you still laugh rereading Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever randomly fallen out of your chair, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever fallen going up the stairs, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever pushed on a door that said pull (or Vice Versa) copy this into your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which makes weird good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy & paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you are random and don't care, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you still laugh rereading Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you can't figure out if these copy and paste things bug you or if you love them, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you'll take first watch copy and paste this is you profile. (if you don't get it READ MAXIMUM RIDE!!)

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile .

If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites, copy this in your profile.

If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile

If you've ever read/started to read a chapter in a FanFiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you don't have a problem with homosexuality, copy this into your profile.

I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...

If you have ever forgotten your name while introducing yourself, copy this into your profile.

If you're easily confused or confuzzled add this to your profile.


There's a 13 year old girl, and she wished
that her dad would come home from
the army, because he'd been having
problems with his heart and right
leg. It was 2:53 p.m . When she made
her wish. At 3:07 p.m. (14 minutes
later), the doorbell rang, and
there her Dad was, luggage and all!!

I'm Katie and I'm 20 and I've been
having trouble in my job and on the
verge of quitting. I made a simple
wish that my boss would get a new
job. That was at 1:35 and at 2:55
there was an announcement that he
was promoted and was leaving for
another city. Believe me...this
really works!

My name is Ann and I am 45 years
of age. I had always been single
and had been hoping to get into a
nice, loving relationship for many
years. While kind of daydreaming
(and right after receiving this email)
I wished that a quality person would
finally come into my life. That was at
9:10 AM on a Tuesday. At 9:55 AM
a FedEx delivery man came into my
office.He was cute, polite and
could not stop smiling at me. He
started coming back almost everyday
(even without packages) and asked me
out a week later. We married 6
months later and now have been
happily married for 2 years.

What a great email it was!!

Just scroll down to the end, but
while you do, think of a wish.
Make your wish when you have completed
scrolling. Whatever age you are, is the
number of minutes it will take for your
wish to come true. ex.you are 25 years
old, it will take 25 minutes for your wish
to come true).

Go for it!

SCROLL DOWN!

STOP!

Congratulations! Your wish will
now come true in your age minutes.

Now follow this carefully...it
can be very rewarding!

If you repost this within the next 5 min.
something major that you've been wanting
will happen.

This is scary!

The phone will ring right after you repost!


If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile

If you proudly show off all your battle wounds (AKA, the scar you got from tripping on the sidewalk, bruise from a baseball, etc.), put this in your profile.

If you repeatedly read page 203 in The Battle of the Labyrinth, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe) I'veComeToTakeYourCheese, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly (about 24 hours now not counting the few hours of sleep), Alleyanna Cullen,hugz.4.all.the.emo.boyz, WritingRocks6 (hoo yeah), GlindaFied26, XxXpurplelilyxXx Bookluvrxoxo, Daydreamer897, The Friendly Chupacabra, Shorty and KG Inc, SeaweedBrain013, ClloudyAlore, My Name is Maxx, believeinthegods, booklizzard3798, xxXElizaBethXxx

If you DON'T check under the bed for monsters, but you DO check behind the shower curtain for monsters/murderers/Michael Jackson, copy this into your profile.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you are someone who begs to differ from the crowd, copy this and paste it into your profile.

If you think that Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile.

You really, really hate when people tell you to read stupid books when you could be reading PJO, copy this into your profile.

If you think that people who don't like PJO are crazy/stupid/losers, copy this into your profile.

If you only read PJO fan fiction stories if the summary says PERCABETH, copy and paste this into your profile

If you really hate those e-mails that say 'Make a wish! If you don't send this to 50 people in 1 minute, it won't come true!', but still send it on anyway, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have died, copy and paste this to your profile

If you have ever worn your pet as a scarf, copy and paste this to yor profile

Dumb Lables on Stuff


Organic Almond Breeze - not for use as an infant formula (So thaaaaats what's wrong with my kid.)

(I really don't get this one) On GermX - Active ingredient/Alcohol (are they trying to drug us?)

Invisible Ink - not for use in eyes (I see the light!)

On a Myer hairdryer:
"Do not use while sleeping."
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of
Chips:
"You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details
inside."
(The shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Palmolive soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
(And that would be how??)

On some frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(But, it's just a suggestion).

On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down".
(Well...duh, a bit late, huh!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating".
(And you thought...??)

On packaging for a K-Mart iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body."
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after
taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction
accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head
colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope.)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (I gotta admit, I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash.)

On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". (So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.)

I don't blame the company; I blame the parents for
this one:
On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable
you to fly".

On pain relief/Tylolol "do not use if foil under cap is broken or removed."(How do i OPEN IT? Do i eat the bottle?)


A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won't repost it? Repost this if you truly believe in God, or a god.

I really don't like these but they scare me so ya. Don't read it please...I made you curious huh?: This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murderer chanted,"Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.

A white man said "No coloured people allowed here." And the black man said. "When I was born I was black, when I grew up I was black, when I am sick I am black, when I go out in the sun I am black, when I am cold I am black, when I die I'll be black, but you, you. When you were born you were pink, when you grew up you were white, when you are sick you are green, when you go out in the sun you turn red, when you are cold you are blue, and when you die you'll be purple and you dare to call me coloured?" The black man sat down and the white man walked away. If you're against racism copy and paste this into your profile.

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree. The
boys don’t want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

REPOST THIS TO LET ALL THE SWEET APPLES KNOW THAT THERE ISN'T SOMETHING WRONG WITH THEM!

Annoying Things To Do On An Elevator

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7) SAY -DING at each floor.

8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it

29 Annoying Ways to Order a Pizza (I actually tried a few of these... the pizza people weren't happy... :D)

1. Start the conversation with "My call to (Pizza Place), take one... and... ACTION!"

2. If using a touch-tone phone, press random numbers while ordering. Tell the person taking the order, "would you please stop doing that...?"

3. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

4. Do not name your toppings; rather, spell them out.

5. Ask what the order taker is wearing.

6. Order 52 pepperoni slices arranged in a fractal pattern following from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they're getting all of this down.

7. If they repeat the order to verify it, say "OK. Your total comes to 10.99. Please pull up to the window."

8. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say "Yes," heave a sigh of relief.

9. Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni," using a long "i" sound.

10. Say "Are you sure this is (Pizza Place)?" When they say yes, say "Well, so is this! You've got some explaining to do!" When finally offered proof that they are really (Pizza Place), start to cry and ask, "Do you know what it's like to be lied to?"

11. Ask to see a menu.

12. Say you'll be able to pay for this "when the Hollywood people call back."

13. Demand imperiously, "Do you have ANY IDEA what is at stake with this pizza?!"

14. Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."

15. Punctuate your sentences with exclamations such as "Great Caesar's Ghost" and "Jesus Joseph and Mary in Tinsel Town."

16. Start the conversation by reciting the date and time, and saying, "This may be my last entry."

17. Sing the order to the tunes of songs from Metallica's "Master of Puppets" album: "Chop your pizza on a mirror!"; "Master! Master! Put hot sausages on my pizza!"; or "Gimme Pizza! You will do what I say, when I say Gimme Pizza!"

18. Give your order, then state firmly, "And that's as far as this relationship is going to get."

19. Ask for a deal available from a different pizza chain (e.g., if phoning Domino's, ask for a CheeserCheeser)

20. When listing toppings you want on your pizza, include another pizza. Repeat this nested loop until asked to stop, then explain that you got "stuck."

21. Learn to play a blues riff on the harmonica. Stop talking at regular intervals to play it.

22. Learn to imitate a celebrity's voice. Stress that you won't take any crap from some two-bit can't-hack-it pimple-faced gofer.

23. Attempt to teach the order-taker a secret code. Use the code on all subsequent orders.

24. When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say "You just don't get it, do you?"

25. When they say "Will that be all?", snicker and say "We'll find out, won't we?"

26. Order with a Speak-n-Spell.

27. If order-taker suggests a side order, ask why s/he is punishing you.

28. Get taker's name. Later, call exactly on the hour to say, "This is your (time of day) wake-up call, (So-and-so)."

29. If any of the above practices are rejected by the order taker, say, in your poutiest voice, "LAST guy let me do it..."

17 Ways to Make Sure You're Insane

1) At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. see if they slow down.

2) Page yourself over the intercom. don't disguise your voice.

3) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

5) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy"

6) Ask your dog if it's comfortable with it's name. Repeat with cat, until people ask if you're alright.

7) As often as possible, skip rather than walk
.

8) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go"

9) Sing along at the opera.

10) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme
.

11) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because your not in the mood.

12) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I WON! I WON!"

13) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives! They're loose!!"

14) When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!"

15) Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

16) Put mosquito netting around your work area and play Tropical Sounds all day.

17) Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

16 THINGS I'M GOING TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Make a trail of lemonade going to the rest rooms.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

Repost this if you laughed...

50 Fun Things To Do At Wal-Mart

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.

4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join in.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially in thin narrow aisles.

10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.

11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10".

12. Play with the automatic doors.

13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.

14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this crap, anyway?"

15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.

16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."

17. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.

18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.

19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"

20. Put M&M's on layaway.

21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.

24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"

26. TP as much of the store as possible.

27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.

29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

30. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"

31. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"

32. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men. b 33. Take bets on the battle described above.

34. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.

35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.

36. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible."

38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

40. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"

41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

42. Two words: "Marco Polo."

43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.

44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.

45. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.

46. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.

47. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.

48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"

49. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.

50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

42 ways to annoy your parents

1. Follow them around the house everywhere...
2. Moo when they say your name...
3. Run into walls...
4. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion...
5. Stand over them at four in the morning with a huge grin on your face and say, good morning sunshine...
6. Pluck someone's hair out and yell, "DNA"...
7. Wear a sticker that says, "I'm a retard"...
8. Have 20 imaginary friends that you talk to all the time...
9. In public yell, "No Mom/Dad, I will not make out with you!!"...
10. Do what they actually tell you...
11. Jump off the roof, trying to fly...
12. Hold their hand and whisper to them, I see dead people...
13. At everything they say yell, Liar...
14. Try to swim in the floor...
15. Tap on their door all night...
16.Pretend to have amnesia...
17.Say everything backwards...
18.Give yourself a swirly...
19.Run around with a lamp shade on your head yelling, "the sun!! it's dying!!"...
20.Sing at the top of your lungs while running around the house...in your underwear...
21.Have nervous spasms at spontaneous times...
22.Snort loudly when you laugh and then laugh harder...
23.Run in circles...
24.Recite a whole movie 3 times...
25.Pretend to beat yourself up...
26.Chase/bark at the mail man...
27.Wear your pants on your head and your shirt on your waist... tell them you're making a fashion statement...
28.Try and drink out of a glass the wrong way...
29.Super glue your finger up your nose...
30.Talk to a pen...
31.Lay face down and chant like an Indian tribe...
32.Try and climb the wall...
33.Roll on the floor laughing hysterically in supermarkets...
34.Take your ice cream cone and put it on your forehead... say you're a lovely unicorn...
35. Turn the tv on to a station you don't get, watch the static and say you're looking for the pattern...
36.Switch the light button on and off for a while. then say, "ooooh... I get it!!"...
37.Eat your hair...
38.Whatever they are eating, tell them it looks like a certain animal...
39.Eat anything obviously not edible...
40.Say your pet is mocking you and chase it around the house...
41.When you shower or bathe yell, "I'm drowning!!"...
42.Try to snorkel in your fish tank...

REMEMBER WHEN ..
getting HIGH meant swinging at a playground?
the worst thing you could get from a boy was c0otiEs?
'm 0 m' (was your hero)
and 'D a D' was the boy you were gonna marry?
when your W0RST ENEMIES were your siblings
and rAcE iSsuEs were about who ran fastest?
when - WAR- was a card game
and life was simple and care free?
remember when all you wanted to do
WAS GROW UP?

Put This In Your Profile If You're Still 5 Inside...No Matter How Old You Are Now!

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Wife Swap: the Cullens and the McClains by AussieGal20 reviews
Alice and Emmett sign the Cullens up for Wife Swap. The Cullens swap with a very strict family called the McClains. Will the Cullens like their new mother? Will the Cullen kids drive their new mother insane? please R&R.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 22 - Words: 72,250 - Reviews: 312 - Favs: 258 - Follows: 222 - Updated: 8/16/2014 - Published: 6/4/2010 - Complete
Escape by xDarion'sKeeperx reviews
When the parents decide it's okay for Percy and Annabeth to have some time together, to escape from New York, they send them to Mrs. Jackson's cousin Charlie in Forks. P/A E/B
Crossover - Twilight & Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 20 - Words: 49,724 - Reviews: 323 - Favs: 255 - Follows: 264 - Updated: 7/27/2013 - Published: 6/18/2010 - Bella, Annabeth C., Percy J.
Another Form of the Avian Bird Flu by St. Fang of Boredom reviews
So, Fang gets sick. The flu, to be exact. And, of course, he has to pull a whole 'Whining Macho Prince' thing about it. Max and Dr. Martinez deal with Fang's attitude, Iggy tries to boycott Campbell's Soup, the Flock play with a blender, and...FAX! Eggy!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 68 - Words: 103,238 - Reviews: 4226 - Favs: 1,123 - Follows: 830 - Updated: 3/13/2013 - Published: 10/3/2008 - Fang, Max
Lima's vampires by New Name Unimportant reviews
Renesmee was imprinted on when she was two days old, she never had a choice of who to love, it was already made for her. But when she and her family move to Lima, Ness joins Glee club. She falls in love and breaks the imprint that has held her captive.
Crossover - Twilight & Glee - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 32,019 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 7/21/2012 - Published: 5/10/2011 - Renesmee C./Nessie, Finn H. - Complete
25 Letters Series: Broken Promises by hiileihawaiiangurl reviews
He's back. He's broken out of prison and is after her. And the only one that can help her emotionally, is the one who has completely forgotten her. Sequel to: It All Started With 25 Letters!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 31 - Words: 50,309 - Reviews: 555 - Favs: 198 - Follows: 172 - Updated: 7/3/2012 - Published: 5/29/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Happy Meal by AnnetheV reviews
When a mysterious figure enters a McDonalds late at night, a mortal wonders what his dark purpose at the fast-food place may be. one-shot
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 382 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 6 - Published: 8/3/2011 - Nico A. - Complete
Rainy Day Games with The Flock by Fangalicous08 reviews
What does the flock do when there's nothing TO do? Read this and find out. R&R Please.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 32 - Words: 65,242 - Reviews: 826 - Favs: 232 - Follows: 139 - Updated: 6/30/2011 - Published: 6/30/2009 - Complete
Artificial Engagement by Akatsuki Child reviews
It was either become a hobo or marry the guy's daughter. He wished he had chosen to become a hobo. "For some reason, I always find myself fantasizing about strangling him to death." Percabeth with mentions of Thuke. AU. OOC.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 49,398 - Reviews: 1205 - Favs: 1,190 - Follows: 475 - Updated: 5/31/2011 - Published: 4/30/2010 - Percy J., Annabeth C. - Complete
Alice in the Underworld by Is you heart in the game reviews
Alice was living the ultimate irony when she fell down a hole and ended up in another world. The Underworld, to be precise. When she accidentally eats the food of the dead, she has to endure the punishment. NicoxOC
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 9 - Words: 23,800 - Reviews: 119 - Favs: 98 - Follows: 118 - Updated: 3/10/2011 - Published: 7/28/2010 - Nico A.
TruckNapper and DB hit the Windy City by Mk Marie reviews
The spin off to Tales of a Charming Truck-Napper. This won't make any sense if you don't read that one first. Read and review. Thanks guys!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,824 - Reviews: 361 - Favs: 395 - Follows: 545 - Updated: 11/10/2010 - Published: 8/16/2010
Reason's Why I Love Nico di Angelo by RavingNarniacAnarane reviews
Here's a story for you fangirls. Nico Reached over and ripped the story out from underneath her hand. "Hey!"
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,072 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 10 - Published: 11/1/2010 - Nico A. - Complete
iHalfblood by EagleCodex reviews
Ryan Lee is pale, skinny, dark haired and from Beverly Hills. Wait, aren't Hollywood kids supposed to be tan? Not if you spend most of your time inside with four computers whirring away. So what happens when Ryan turns out to be a son of...WHAT? R&R!
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 22,623 - Reviews: 65 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 8/24/2010 - Published: 6/23/2010 - Complete
The Death God Alliance by Asilda reviews
"Sorry," said the son of Hades, "but if I surrendered to an organization called the House of Life, my dad would kill me." After a run in with the Kanes, Nico unwittingly ends up becoming a host for the Egyptian death god Anubis.
Crossover - Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Kane Chronicles - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 14 - Words: 76,032 - Reviews: 984 - Favs: 2,126 - Follows: 760 - Updated: 8/23/2010 - Published: 5/8/2010 - Nico A., Anubis - Complete
The Tales of a Charming TruckNapper by Mk Marie reviews
Edward makes one memorable first impression! "Stop listening to my music, get off my cell phone, and bring back my truck!" I seethed. "Now!" Are first impressions really the most important? Let's hope not. AU-HUMAN. OOC. All canon couples.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 34 - Words: 114,368 - Reviews: 5783 - Favs: 3,347 - Follows: 1,537 - Updated: 8/16/2010 - Published: 12/24/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Apples For My Teacher by VampireWizard93 reviews
Bella gives birth to Reneesme after the cullens leave, then is turned by Laurent. 30 years later she comes back to Forks as an English teacher only to find out she has some familiar students
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 11 - Words: 21,976 - Reviews: 336 - Favs: 333 - Follows: 323 - Updated: 8/10/2010 - Published: 2/8/2009
Demigod Seas High by LadyYukimuraSan reviews
Zack, Cody and the gang, are about to meet some of the demigods that have a new assignment: Find all the half-bloods in Seven Seas High and bring them to camp. Set a year after the war, Luke will be dead, and Percabeth promised.
Crossover - Suite Life series & Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,597 - Reviews: 80 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 76 - Updated: 7/27/2010 - Published: 2/11/2010
The Day My Best Friend Comes Back To Life by hiileihawaiiangurl reviews
Bella's best friend Edward goes missing in a lake right before her eyes. Everyone says that he's dead, but Bella believes that he some how survived. 7 years later Bella is about to accept that he is gone, when a bronze haired angel enters her shop.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,042 - Reviews: 104 - Favs: 91 - Follows: 93 - Updated: 7/9/2010 - Published: 10/11/2009 - Bella, Edward
25 Letters Series: It Started With 25 Letters by hiileihawaiiangurl reviews
Bella just found out that she was the daughter of Charlie Swan not the abusive Phil Dwyer. She was forced into being a prostitute for Phil. She left to her REAL father, and the least expected thing happened to her, Boy Drama. All Human. Give it a chance!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 27 - Words: 34,707 - Reviews: 324 - Favs: 265 - Follows: 139 - Updated: 7/2/2010 - Published: 12/5/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
A Beautiful Poison by Unknown Destination reviews
Winnie kept the water,warning everyone not to drink it for it was poison.Now her granddaughter is suicidal and drinks it.Instead of ending her life however,she extends it infinately,and new friends,foes,love and pain awaits the immortal Anna Creston.
Tuck Everlasting - Rated: T - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,130 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 6/30/2010 - Published: 6/9/2009
My Bestfriends Boyfriend by hiileihawaiiangurl reviews
Bella is a huge nerd, but her best friend is the most gorgeous gir in school with a bad attitude, huge ego, and the HOT boyfriend. Why hasn't Bella ditched her yet? Well Tanya is holding Bella's deep dark secret and Tanya's tongue just might slip!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 9,047 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 74 - Follows: 74 - Updated: 4/28/2010 - Published: 9/27/2009 - Bella, Tanya
Us Against The World by tmizzy2125 reviews
Sonny, I love you! But it seems like you've gone through so much trouble to ignore me saying this! Why won't you listen to me? Joy listens to me go on about you for hours and she has ADHD! Sonny, it's us against the world!... and monsters... -Chad
Crossover - Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Sonny with a Chance - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 13,145 - Reviews: 106 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 3/9/2010 - Published: 2/17/2010 - Percy J., Chad D. C.
Protecting the Flock by Littlest Cinnaminion reviews
There comes a time in life where Nudge has several boys asking for dates come Valentine's Day, and Fang feels the need to "protect" his little sister from the "pervert wienies of the world". Lord help us all... Happy Valentine's Day! During SOF
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,500 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 6 - Published: 2/13/2010 - Fang, Nudge - Complete
Welcome to the Real World by Mk Marie reviews
Bella and Edward have been friends for years. What happens to their relationship when she comes home for a visit, carrying a secret that will change everything? How will it affect all the others? All Human, AU. All canon pairings.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 62 - Words: 180,550 - Reviews: 2576 - Favs: 1,576 - Follows: 639 - Updated: 9/25/2009 - Published: 6/14/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Secret Lives of the American Teenagers by hiileihawaiiangurl reviews
The cullens go to New York and meet Percy, Annabeth, and Nico.Nico starts falling for Nessie, but he tries to deny the feeling.Nessie however feels nothing,but the love keeps growing inside her.Will keeping their secrets from eachother hurt eachother?
Crossover - Twilight & Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 21 - Words: 18,127 - Reviews: 111 - Favs: 83 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 9/8/2009 - Published: 8/5/2009 - Renesmee C./Nessie, Nico A. - Complete