(\)_(/)
(='.'=) This is Chappy.

Help Chappy achieve World Domination by copying this into your profile. ALL HAIL CHAPPY

Name: MorganBanner...or Embee.

Occupation: 1/4-time human, 1/2-time character-napper, full-time ninja

Species:Fanfiction author...'cause we're totally a separate species from humanity.

Favourite Things: (lalala...raindrops on roses, whiskers on kittens...)

Horses
Chocolate
History/World Cultures
Manga/Anime
Reading/Writing
Chocolate (IT DESERVES TO BE ON HERE TWICE)
Drawing

Not-so Favourite Things:

Math
Biology
Bad grammar/spelling (so no text-speak, thx /smack)

Favourite Stories/Movies/TV Shows: (in no particular order)

Sherlock
Doctor Who
The Iron Wizard
Young Wizards
Tamora Pierce's books (waaay too many to list)
Redwall
Warriors
Books of Pellinor
Maximum Ride
Percy Jackson and the Olympians
The Ranger's Apprentice
Pokémon
Eragon (WTF IS WITH THAT ENDING, PAOLINI?)
Alex Rider
Black Beauty
Spirit
Hidalgo
Avatar: The Last Airbender (the cartoon series- the movie was a total rip-off)
Anima
Merlin
Ranma 1/2
Lord of the Rings
Temeraire
Fullmetal Alchemist (If I were the type to get emotional over books...I WOULD BE BAWLING RIGHT NOW. TEAM EDWARD...ELRIC, LOLOLOL)
Psyren
War Horse
One Piece
The Avengers
Supernatural

Favourite Quotes:

Stark: "Dr. Banner, your work is unparalleled. And I'm a huge fan of the way you lose control and turn into an enormous green rage monster." -Tony Stark/Ironman, The Avengers

Rogers: "Hulk? Smash."
Hulk: FUCK YEAH -Steve Rogers/Captain America and Dr. Bruce Banner/The Hulk, The Avengers (no the Hulk didn't really say that, but you know he was thinking it)

Stark: "I have a plan: attack!" -Tony Stark/Ironman, The Avengers

Thor: "Take care how you speak. Loki is beyond reason, but he is of Asgard. And he is my brother."
Romanoff: "He killed eighty people in two days."
Thor: "...He's adopted." -Thor and Romanoff/Black Widow, The Avengers (I loved Thor's expression)

Stark: "I'm going to pay for that comment about percentages in some subtle way later, aren't I?"
Potts: "Not gonna be that subtle." -Tony Stark/Ironman and Pepper Potts, The Avengers

Loki: "What have I to fear?"
Tony Stark: "The Avengers. It's what we call ourselves, sort of like a team. 'Earth's Mightiest Heroes' type thing."
Loki: "Yes, I've met them."
Stark: "Yeah, takes us a while to get any traction, I'll give you that one. But let's do a head count here: your brother the demi-god; a super soldier, a living legend who kind of lives up to the legend; a man with breath-taking anger management issues; a couple of master assassins, and YOU, big fella, you've managed to piss off every single one of them."
Loki: "That was the plan."
Stark: "Not a great plan. When they come, and they WILL, they'll come for you."
Loki: "I have an army."
Stark: "We have a Hulk."
Loki: "I thought the beast had wandered off..."
Stark: "You're missing the point! There's no throne, there is no version of this where you come out on top. Maybe your army comes and maybe it's too much for us but it's all on you. Because if we can't protect the Earth, you can be damned well sure we'll avenge it!" -Tony Stark/Ironman and Loki, The Avengers

Stark: "Phil? His first name is Agent." -Tony Stark/Ironman, The Avengers

Agent Phil Coulson: "I gotta say, it's an honour to meet you, officially. I sort of met you, I mean, I watched you while you were sleeping. I mean, I was, I was present while you were unconscious, from the ice. You know it's really just a, just a huge honour to have you on board." -Agent Coulson, The Avengers

Stark: "You might have missed a couple things, y'know, doing time as a Capsicle." -Tony Stark/Ironman, The Avengers

Stark: "You really have got a lid on it, haven't you? What's your secret? Mellow jazz? Bongo drums? Huge bag of weed?" -Tony Stark/Ironman, The Avengers

Maria Hill: "When did you become an expert in thermonuclear astrophysics?"
Tony Stark: "Last night" -Tony Stark/Ironman and Maria Hill, The Avengers

Steve Rogers: "We have orders, we should follow them."
Tony Stark: "Following's not really my style."
Rogers: "And you're all about style, aren't you?"
Stark: "Of the people in this room, which one is A - wearing a spangly outfit and B - not of use?" --Tony Stark/Ironman and Steve Rogers/Captain America, The Avengers

Steve Rogers: "Big man in a suit of armour. Take that off, what are you?"
Tony Stark: "Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist." -Tony Stark/Ironman and Steve Rogers/Captain America, The Avengers

World Security Council: "Director Fury, the council has made a decision."
Nick Fury: "I recognise the council has made a decision, but given that it's a stupid-ass decision, I've elected to ignore it." -Nick Fury and the Human Version of the Central 46, The Avengers

Stark: "What just happened? Please tell me nobody kissed me." -Tony Stark/Ironman, The Avengers

Stark: "An intelligence agency that fears intelligence? Historically, not awesome." -Tony Stark/Ironman, The Avengers

Stark: "Doth mother know you weareth her drapes?" -Tony Stark/Ironman, The Avengers

Stark: "Better clench up, Legolas." -Tony Stark/Ironman, The Avengers (this one had my entire family rolling)

Tony Stark: "You should come by Stark Tower sometime. Top 10 floors all R&D, you'd love it... it's candyland."
Bruce Banner: "Thanks, but the last time I was in New York I kind of broke... Harlem." -Tony Stark/Ironman and Dr. Bruce Banner/The Hulk, The Avengers

Erik Lehnsherr: "Excuse me, I'm Erik Lehnsherr."
Charles Xavier: "Charles Xavier."
Logan: "Go fuck yourself."
Erik & Charles: -walk away- -Erik, Charles, and Logan, X-Men: First Class

Wolverine: -holds his hands up when he sees Cyclops and Jane- "It's me."
Cyclops: "Prove it."
Wolverine: "You're a dick."
Cyclops: -shrugs- "Okay." -Wolverine and Cyclops, X-Men

"Nope, God hates us. Even if we go, he'll send us back." -Edward Elric, Fullmetal Alchemist

Patty and Carne: "YOU BASTARD!"
Patty and Carne: "GODDAMMIT! WE'RE GOING TO BE LONELY WITHOUT YOU! REAL LONELY YOU HEAR?
Sanji: "I'LL MISS YOU!"
P/C: "YOU'RE MAKING US CRY DAMMIT!"
Zeff: "Damn idiots…men should say their good-byes silently."
Sanji: "LET'S MEET AGAIN ONE DAY YOU GOOD-FOR-NOTHING BASTARDS!" -Patty, Carne, Zeff, and Sanji, One Piece

Usopp: "A beautiful lady swordsman just arrived with a ton of meat!"
Sanji: "Beauty?"
Luffy: "Meat?"
Zoro: "Swordsman?" -Usopp trying to wake the other three up after beating them didn't work, One Piece

"You can bring whatever you want, as long as it doesn't get you in trouble at the airport. I just stocked up on chocolate milk and milk duds. Other people brought Monsters...but those people are mooorons. Anyway..." -A captain in my squadron when he was talking about COS...Yes, he's seriously like that. XD

"Hawk Mountain is where you live for a week in the Pennsylvania woods and listen to Satan's minions screeching at you." -that same captain about Hawk Mountain

Rory: "We're dead."
Amy: "Eh?"
Rory: "The lift fell...and we're dead."
Amy: "Shut up."
Rory: "We're dead. Again."
Amy: "Oh shut up and help me figure out where we are." -Amy and Rory- Doctor Who:

Eragon: "Is there anything I could do, any custom or ceremony of yours I could perform, that would appease Vermund and his followers?"
Orik: -laughs- "You could die." -Eragon and Orik- Brisingr

Dobby: "Dobby knows, sir! Harry Potter has to go into the lake and find his Wheezy..."
Harry: "Find my what?"
Dobby: "--and take his Wheezy back from the merpople!"
Harry: "What's a Wheezy?"
Dobby: "Your Wheezy, sir, your Wheezy-- Wheezy who is giving Dobby his sweater!" -Dobby and Harry- Harry Potter Book Four

"Dobby must poke Harry Potter, sir, he must wake up!" -Dobby- Harry Potter Book Four

Selethen: "You know, it might have been simpler to have the two girls board the ship with their practice swords."
Halt: "I needed to leave some of them alive." -Selethen and Halt- The Emperor of Nihon-Ja

Witch-King: "Do not get between a Nazgul and its prey."
Éowyn: *cuts off Nazgul's head* -Éowyn and the Witch-King- LOTR, The Return of the King (I had thought the flying-wyvern-thing was the Nazgul...)

Legolas: "I feel...something...a slight tingling in my fingers...*looks worried* I think it's affecting me."
Éomer: o.0 *looks at the very large pile of empty cups in front of Legolas and Gimli*
Totally Drunk Gimli: "Ahah, the elf can't 'old 'is grog!" *falls unconscious*
Legolas: "Game over." -Legolas and Gimli- LOTR, The Return of the King

Legolas pulls bad-ass Shiny Elf Dude moves and takes down a whole elephant-thing before sliding off the trunk*
Gimli: "That still only counts as one!" -Legolas and Gimli- LOTR, The Return of the King

Gimli: *jumps* "What's going on out there?"
Legolas: "Shall I describe it to you? Or would you like me to find you a box?" -Legolas and Gimli- LOTR, The Two Towers

Gimli: "It’s true you don’t see many Dwarf women. And in fact, they are so alike in voice and appearance, that they’re often mistaken for Dwarf men."
*Éowyn smiles and looks back at Aragorn.*
Aragorn: *Gestures and whispers* "It’s the beards..." -Gimli, Éowyn, and Aragorn- Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers

Ranma: "Oh man, there's only one way to break even now..." "Akane! You can cook now!"
Akane: "Really?"
Sign on Ucchan's: "For a limited time! Got a stomach of steel? Wanna prove it? Then try to win the 1 million yen prize by facing The Okonomiyaki of Death. Only 100 yen to entre, but if you don't eat it all, there's a 5000 yen penalty!"
*everyonewhoeatsitdies*
Akane: "Ack! What's happening to all of them?"
Ranma: "Never knew her toxic cooking would be useful someday..." -Akane and Ranma- Ranma 1/2

Akane: "I'm so happy for you to have found yourself a girlfriend!"
Ryouga: *frozen*
Akane: "You always seemed so lonely, wandering around by yourself. As your friend, I was begining to worry about you."
Ryouga: *dies*
Ranma: "Hey, it's no use playing dead." -Akane, Ryouga, and Ranma- Ranma 1/2

Ranma: *reading instructions* "The one who you strike will have the seed of love placed in her breast. The seed will blossom into a full-bown romance. Well, look at this." *points to carp mark* "How...interesting..." *starts swinging fishing rod*
Ryouga: *is melting* "Is Ranma pissed? Yes. Will Ranma kill me? Yes. Can I run away fast enough? No. Am I screwed? Yes." -Ranma and Ryouga- Ranma 1/2

Akane: "No matter what happens, we'll always be the best of friends!"
Ryouga: *twitches and falls into hell* Thank you, Akane, for delivering that final, fatal blow upon my poor, fragile heart. I hope you attend my funeral.
*Ryouga and Ranma continue fight*
Akane: "I don't understand. Why does Ryouga seem even more unhappy now?"
Old Ghoul: "What exactly did you say to him?" -Akane, Ryouga, and the Old Ghoul- Ranma 1/2

Arthur: "I have not forgotten your lazy, insolent ways, and the fact you called me a clotpole. But I do have to admit there was some truth in your accusations against Cedric."
Merlin: "Does this mean you are admitting, that in this occasion, I was actually right?"
Arthur: "Not exactly, no. It means I have a knighthood to bestow first thing tomorrow and no-one to clean my armour." -Merlin and Arthur- Merlin, The Curse of Cornelius Sigan

Arthur: "Were you born clumsy or do you work at it?"
Merlin: "It's one of my many gifts!" -Merlin and Arthur- Merlin, The Curse of Cornelius Sigan

Arthur: "Fetch a mattress from my quarters and bring it up here."
Merlin: "How am I supposed to carry a mattress on my own?"
Arthur: "I don't know. Strap it to your back." -Merlin and Arthur- Merlin, The Once and Future Queen

Arthur: "Merlin, what have we said about you trying to be funny?"
Merlin: "I shouldn't." -Arthur and Merlin- Merlin, The Nightmare Begins

Arthur: "Gaiberries work!"
Merlin: "You didn't know if they work?"
Arthur: "No, not for sure."
Merlin: "Now you tell me?. Oh, oh what is that wilddearen is eating? Oh, that's all right, it's just Merlin. You tried to get us both killed!"
Arthur: "I'm sorry, I should not have risked your life like that." -Arthur and Merlin- Merlin, Lancelot and Guinevere

Merlin: "Look on the bright side, you've still got me!"
Arthur: "Was that suppossed to cheer me up?"
Merlin: "Thought it might"
Arthur: "You really are a complete idiot aren't you Merlin?" -Arthur and Merlin- Merlin, Lancelot and Guinevere

Arthur: *to the troll* "You’re a troll!"
Uther: "How dare you speak about her like that!"
Arthur: "What is wrong with you? Look at the state of her!"
*Troll explodes door and nearly hits Morgana and Arthur*
Arthur: "She just ripped a door off its hinges! Doesn't that tell you something-"
Uther: "Enough!"
Arthur: "She's a troll! A giant grey..."
Morgana: "Stinking"
Arthur: "Stinking troll!"
Uther: "Haven't you hurt her feelings enough! Insult my wife again and it will be the last thing you do." -Arthur, Uther, and Morgana- Merlin, Beauty and the Beast Part 2

Gaius: "You do realise your wife is a troll, sire."
Uther: "I beg your pardon?"
Gaius: "At least, that's the way she looks to us. What with the...warts...and the nose.."
Sir Leon: "And the smell."
Uther: "Smell!? What?"
Gaius: "She also has what appears to be... a set of fangs."
Sir Leon: "I wouldn't really say they were fangs - more like tusks."
Gaius: "Yes, they are more like tusks. Not that we are saying that that's a necessarily a bad thing. I just thought I ought to point it out to you, in case it had escaped your notice."
Uther: "The next person to insult the Lady Catrina... will be charged with treason, and beheaded, according to the laws of the land." -Uther, Gaius, and Sir Leon- Merlin, Beauty and the Beast Part 2

"Urgent, meet us outside the Urahara shop immediately P.S: If you're thinking that this message is like some written in the victim's own blood cliché from some TV show...then you obviously have no sense of humor!" -Urahara Kisuke's Message in Blood-Bleach

"There we go again, old men and their stupid arguments. What a pain." -Hitsugaya Toshiro-Bleach

Jackie: "Aren't you gonna come at me?"
Ichigo: "You still haven't brought out your fullbring, have you?"
Jackie: "How naive. Think of this as a battle instead of training. Think of me as your enemy. Would you say the same thing on the battlefield?"
Ichigo: *thinks* "Yeah...probably." -Jackie Tristian and Kurosaki Ichigo - Bleach

"While it is good to be energetic, please remain quiet inside the hospital. As long as you are still inside this building, your lives are in our hands. Please do not forget that." -Unohana Retsu - Bleach (I would be scared. Very scared.)

"Bye Bye" -Ichimaru Gin-Bleach

"I'm damn good." -Urahara Kisuke - Bleach

"I hate your fighting style. You don't do anything yourself…you just mock your enemies after stealing their bonds. It's extremely vile. It's a shame deserving death. Come. I'll kill you…before you can even swing your sword." -Kuchiki Byakuya - Bleach (Byakuya in a few sentences. EPIC)

Shishigawara Moe: "You can't just fly, that's unfair! I never heard about flying shinigami!"
Ikakku: -is not amused- "I'm not flying, I'm just standing."
Shishigawara: "What does that mean?!?" -Shishigawara and Ikakku - Bleach

Naruto: "HINATA! OMG HINATA NOO! SASUKE I KILLED HER WITH KINDNESS WHAT SHOULD I DO!"
Sasuke: "...I'm sorry do I know you? I don't recall being familiar with murderers. How do you know my name?" -Naruto and Sasuke in Inuyonas' Fairy Tale.

Gin: (to Iba) "Why does the Shinigami Women's Association get more money than the Men's?"
Ten minutes later, the children watched as Iba broke into the 8th division and started yelling at his fellow lieutenant. Said lieutenant, Nanao Ise, simply removed her glasses. -Gin, Yachiru, Iba, and Nanao in Sillabub7's The Experiment.

Hitsugaya: "Matsumoto…What are you doing?"
Matsumoto: "Paperwork, Captain."
Hitsugaya: "...Are you dying?"
Matsumoto: :( "Two other people have come in asking that! No, I'm not dying! I'm trying to help my captain who will clearly need it in the next month if he can't do paperwork!" -Hitsugaya and Matsumoto in Sillabub7's The Experiment.

Ron: "Do Japanese teachers usually spring surprise attacks on their students?"
Hitsugaya: -thinks and remembers traumatizing memories about numerous surprise attacks- "Erm...no, not really."
Some things are better left unsaid. -Ron and Hitsugaya in CrazyTeddyBear's Order of the Shinigami.

"Randomly, several FBI agents burst through the walls, arrested Tosen, cut off his arm, lit it on fire, strapped a bomb to it, and yelled "JUSTICE" as it blew up! They then carried him off to some place that we will not describe at this time!" -BWT in Kiba Wolf's BLEACH Weekly Tabloid.

Ikkaku: "Hey, Shuhei! What color are those red files you asked me to find?"
Hisagi rubbed his fingers across his forehead, momentarily considering sepukku. It would be a quick, honorable way to die...no. He must stand strong in the face of adversity. "Red, Ikkaku." -Hisagi and Ikkaku in Firefx56's Shuhei Hisagi Against the World.

Hisagi: "Any ideas on how to measure this phenomenon?"
Kurotsuchi: "Yes, we need to place him in some kind of closed environment, where he can be observed and monitored. I've got a virtual reality system, that should do the trick."
Hisagi: "But how do we get him into it? All attempts to hurt him are nullified, right?"
*Kurotsuchi chucks a rock at Ichigo's head and knocks him out*
Hisagi: O.O "But..but.. The Hisagi Principle..."
Kurotsuchi: "A good, strong rock beats logic every time."
Hisagi: "B-But,"
Kurotsuchi: "Evil scientist. Win." -Hisagi and Kurotsuchi in Firefx56's Shuhei Hisagi Against the World.

"If you divide the square root of x, with x being Ichigo and his friends, by the exponential hypotenuse of y, the soul society, square it by Coulomb's Constant, and add the total works of Tite Kubo, you'll find that Ichigo cannot be killed. The very universe will protect him, and, in fact, if he does get killed, he'll come back to life even stronger." -Hisagi in Firefx56's Shuhei Hisagi Against the World.

Ichigo: *wakes up, gasping and panting, only to find he was not about to hit Aizen with a Getsuga Tenshou. Nor was he defeating Grimjow, rescuing Orohime, or getting his ass kicked by Ulquiorra. No, he was strapped to a table in Mayuri's lab in the Seiterei*
Hisagi: "Congratulations, Ichigo. You did very well."
Ichigo: "Huh..What...Who? You mean that wasn't real?"
Kurotsuchi: "Of course not! That would be ridiculous. Your friend having time control, the hollow transformation, Chad not actually being useless... no, those events could never happen in real life."
Ichigo: "Yeah, the idea of ten-super shinigami hollows does seem pretty stupid."
-Almost the exact same moment he said this, ignoring all laws of conceivable physics in the Bleach universe, a gargantua opened right next to Ichigo, and a Arrancar looking suspiciously like Ulquiorra jumped though, pulled Ichigo in, and jumped back.-
Hisagi: "Mayuri?"
Kurotsuchi: "Yes, Vice-Captain Hisagi?"
Hisagi: "Did the Ulquiorra character you created, for the sole purpose of the simulation, in order to test Ichigo's odd abilities, just pop through a wormhole and kidnap my source of glory?"
Kurotsuchi: "Yes, Vice-Captain Hisagi." -Hisagi and Kurotsuchi in Firefx56's Shuhei Hisagi Against the World.

Ichigo: "I killed you, Ulquiorra! You kidnaped my friend Orohime, so I infiltrated one of the most deadliest places in the universe armed only with a sword, a nerd, and a gorilla, and defeated you after you killed me!"
Ulquiorra: "Amazing. Szayel, this Soul Reaper appears to be on the mind altering substance known as 'crack.'" -Ichigo and Ulquiorra in Firefx56's Shuhei Hisagi Against the World.

Hisagi: "My god, isn't there some adventure I can go on? God knows it happens to Ichigo all the time. The little prick can't even open a door without discovering some fiendish plot behind it to destroy the known universe."
Kurotsuchi: "You could try that door."
Hisagi: -Opens door and is horribly shocked to find that sprawled inside, clutching a half-empty bottle of sake, was Shunsei Kyoraku. He was snoring loudly, and was wearing nothing but a black bikini. He then rushes over to the corner, and was violently sick for several minutes.- -Hisagi and Kurotsuchi in Firefx56's Shuhei Hisagi Against the World.

"No. I'm done. I try to do one simple thing- stop being a butt monkey. That's all I want. Just a little respect, a little bit of heroism. But what have I done? Nothing. You wanna know what happened during the invasion? I got my ass kicked by a fifth seat. A very, very feminine fifth seat. And now I just created a tyrant with the intelligence to rival Aizen's. So I'm just going to lay here until I die." -Hisagi in Firefx56's Shuhei Hisagi Against the World.

Renji: -claps- "What an incredibly fascinating and intelligent satirical speech on the role of designated villains in Bleach. That was humorous, intelligent, and, most importantly, bitingly true. I sure feel sorry for anyone who missed that speech in order to watch Ikkuaku somehow unrealistically win a rather short and stark fight scene against a opponent who is clearly stronger in canon. Well done."
Hisagi: (o.O) "…What the hell are you on?"
Renji: "I lost track, but there's defiantly some psychoactive drugs in there. Bath salts too, so if I start to chew on someone's face, it's not my fault." -Renji and Hisagi in Firefx56's Shuhei Hisagi Against the World.

Kirge Opie: "My name is Kirge Opie. I am a soldier of the glorious movement of-"
Szayel: "NAZI! HE"S A NAZI!"
Opie: "No, strange effeminate hollow. I am a member of the Vandenreich-"
Szayel: "Third Reich!"
Opie: "-VANDENREICH, here to pronounce my lord's summons on you shinigami and hollow abominations." -pulles out a sheet of paper and draws in a breath- "First, the one known as Aizen will surrender all of his power and command to the Jagdarme. Second, all hollows will-"
Aizen: -shoots Opie with Kidou- "I stopped listening after 'surrender all of his power', Nazi." -Opie, Szayel, and Aizen in Firefx56's Shuhei Hisagi Against the World.

Yachiru: "Yep! When I win the WSA chairman campaign, we're gonna have so much fun! Together, we'll change the world!"
Ikkaku: "...You don't happen to have a Light Yagami complex, do you, Lieutenant?" -Yachiru and Ikkaku in Mungetsu's Yachiru's Candy Campaign.

"I'M A DERANGED FREAK AND I'M PROUD!" -Komamura in Mungetsu's Yachiru's Candy Campaign.

Shikaku: "Ok, here's the plan. Once we go in, we'll be outnumbered, but if we keep our eyes on the target and keep moving, we'll be ok. Make the drop off and get out as fast as you can."
Minato: -just looks at him and laughs-
Shikaku: "You're not going to take this seriously?"
Minato: "I think I'll be ok."
Shikaku: "That's what you think. But when you've do this for as long as I have, you stop underestimating these guys pretty quickly. They're not human, Minato. They're monsters."
And on that note, he opened the gate and ushered them both into the academy playground. -Shiaku and Minato in SilverShine's The Girl from Whirlpool.

"Lady Yoruichi challenges Captain Kuchiki to a flash-step contest and they race off, pursued by Captain Soifon, who wants to keep a close eye on her former Captain. Captain Kyoraku follows, hoping to catch a little woman on woman…er woman on cat, action. Captain Ukitake runs after him to tell him to mind his own business and start acting like a captain already. Captain Unohana dashes after Captain Ukitake because the poor man really shouldn't be doing that much exercise in his current condition. Captain Kurotsuchi sees Captain Unohana running and follows, thinking she's off to heal and hoping to loot injured or dead soldiers for spare parts needed for his experiments. Captain Yamamoto doesn't trust Captain Kurotsuchi enough to not follow when he sees him running, especially considering the open investigation into how he runs Squad 12. Captain Komamura runs after Captain Yamamoto out of loyalty, and also because Captain Yamamoto has steak'ems in his pocket. Captain Zaraki sees all the other captains running and joins them, hoping for an epic battle." -Gin, in a single breath, in Totoromo's Gin's Notebook.

Ulquiorra: "What will it take to make you go away?"
Gin: "I'm guessing a powerful bankai and a lot of luck." -Gin and Ulquiorra in Totoromo's Gin's Notebook.

Gin: "Oh well, I'll be out for the rest of the day. If there's any paperwork that needs to be done put in on my desk, then sigh at it, then take it back and bury it in the garden."
Kira: "What garden would that be?"
Gin: "We don't have a garden? Okay, plant a garden, then bury the paperwork in it. -Gin and Kira in Totoromo's Gin's Notebook.

Customer: Can you tell me where the produce section is?
Fang: -shrugs-
Customer: Can you tell me where the bathrooms are?
Fang: -shrugs-
Customer: Can you tell me anything?
Fang: -shrugs- -Fang and a Wal-Mart customer in Job Listings

Anne: I’m thankful that I’m not your real mother, and I have a license to kill.
Flock: 0_o
Anne: And I want to adopt all of you! - From xxgldxx's MR SPOOF.

"Dear Diary, Do you have any idea what it's like to be a wanted criminal? (Don’t answer that question. I really don’t want this diary to end up like Ginny Weasley’s, since it tried to kill her.)" -Fang in Diary of a Lovesick Mutant by Phoenix Fanatic.

Ron: "Who in their right mind would go looking for someone who wants to kill them?"
Ichigo and Renji: "I would." -Ron, Ichigo, and Renji from MoonGCyn's A Bleached Hogwarts.

Sorting Hat: "You're intelligent, yes, but you're more interested in brawns than brains, aren't you?"
Renji: "Did you just call me stupid?" -The Sorting Hat and Renji from MoonGCyn's A Bleached Hogwarts.

"Put me in Slytherin! I promise I won't eat the little kiddies! I will most definitely be on my best behaviour!" -Hollow Ichigo to the Sorting Hat in MoonGCyn's A Bleached Hogwarts.

Toshiro: "Yes, but we will still be keeping an eye out for Black and the other one."
Ichigo: "Moldywart."
Rangiku: "I thought it was Voldywart."
Rukia: "No, it's Voldymort."
Renji: "Let's just call him Bob."
Ichigo: "That works."
Renji: "I was kidding." -Toushiro, Ichigo, Rangiku, Rukia and Renji in MoonGCyn's A Bleached Hogwarts.

Byakuya: "Substitute Shinigami Kurosaki, we are NOT here to kidnap anyone. We're taking lady Inoue to Soul Society of her own free will, to aid us with a problem we've encountered, and we'll return her when we're done."
Ichigo: "… you're sure?"
Byakuya: "Quite."
Ichigo: "… Are you ABSOLUTELY sure? 'Cause my rescue-sense is tingling." -Ichigo and Byakuya in Moczo's Uninvited Guests.

"Oh, Matsumoto, you simple, simple little fool. The source of my problems isn't the 11th division! The source of my problems… ALL my problems… is Aizen! It's so obvious! I need to go to Hueco Mundo so I can challenge him to a one-on-one duel, the only sensible choice to make! Yes, yes, there's no flaws in that plan." -Toushiro in Moczo's Uninvited Guests.

Aizen: "I'm more worried about the blood all over the floor, Grimmjow!"
Grimmjow: "I'm just sayin': that blood probably should be a brighter shade of red."
Aizen: "It should be inside my body! Quit worrying about why it's vermillion instead of crimson!"
Nnoitra: "Actually, it's more..."
Aizen: "If you start talking about what colour the blood is, I will murder you." -Aizen, Grimmjow, and Nnoitra in Moczo's Uninvited Guests.

Histugaya: *is looking at the wall...or rather, where the wall used to be* "Oh, Matsumoto? Before I forget, there was something I needed to tell you."
Matsumoto: "Yes, sir?"
Hitsugaya: "The plan is working."
Matsumoto"I noticed."
Hitsugaya: "Start getting ready now for it to somehow go wrong in the near future."
Matsumoto: "Because the universe hates us?"
Hitsugaya: "It hates us so much." -Hitsugaya and Mastumoto in Moczo's Uninvited Guests.

Dark Lord Wolfington (a.k.a. Komamura): "Well, let's consider this from a more logical perspective, then, if you're so adamant on this fact. You're a man of science."
Aizen: "Well, of course. I'm always open to experimentation, study, analysis. They are, honestly, my passion. I have far more concern and respect for the scientific method and the powers it can bring to those willing to work in…"
Dark Lord Wolfington: "If I hit you with this giant ball of gravity, and it doesn't hurt, then wolves don't really have gravity powers. But if it does hurt, then you're clearly wrong and I do have super wolf gravity powers."
Aizen: "…………I don't like this experiment." -Dark Lord Wolfington and Aizen in Moczo's Uninvited Guests.

Aizen: "I mean, you only caught an illusion, because you people constantly seem to forget I have you all hypnotized, but still, not bad. Wow. Four Shinigami and an Espada, downed in less time than it takes to say it. If we're being honest with ourselves, Toshiro? I really ought to just pull out my sword and kick the crap out of people more often. It's unusually satisfying, and it actually works, unlike all the plotting and scheming and all that meaningless time-wasting nonsense. I could have gotten all of this finished ages ago if I had just taken matters into my own hands! Granted, I doubt that you appreciate that, but only because I'm about to kill you."
Histugaya: "Even when you promise to shut up and kill me, you still have to take the time to give a damn prepared speech about it." -Aizen and Hitsugaya in Moczo's Uninvited Guests.

Gin: *impales Aizen* "But if we'd run...We wouldn't get to see you impaled and bleeding. It's such a great image, don't you agree? Also, you forgot about me."
Aizen: "Did I?"
Gin: "...you're about to tell me that you made an illusion over your other, previous illusion, so I just impaled another stupid damned Complete Hypnosis and you're going to hurt me a lot."
It was not a question. -Gin and Aizen in Moczo's Uninvited Guests.

"You were making a big stupid speech, I was pretending to pay attention... honestly, I think I'd just given up on life. Again. Still. …are you going to stab me or not?" -Hitsugaya in Moczo's Uninvited Guests.

Aizen: "No. No, you cannot possibly be! She cannot have managed to reprogram the machine just by...by poking a random button! It's not possible!"
Hitsugaya: "It's Yachiru."
Aizen: "...dammit." -Aizen and Hitsugaya in Moczo's Uninvited Guests.

Yamamoto wasn't sure which was more crazy: the idea, or the fact that the substitute was managing to drink tea while sitting on the ceiling. -Yamamoto in Pipidae's Fifty Ways to Annoy the Soutaicho.

Sirius: "A spoon? Bloody hell Prongs, don't tell me that's your Patronus."
James: "Oh shut up, at least I got something."
Sirius: "Yes…but a spoon? I mean, picture this. There's a little old witch on the street who shouts Oh no, a dementor is coming!"
Remus: "And then Padfoot shows up and says Don't worry; James will save us!"
Sirius: "But how? The dementor's kiss is completely unstoppable and a fate worse than death itself!"
Remus: "Well, a dementor is still no match for James here. He…has…a…SPOON!" -James, Sirius, and Remus in macawtopia's Hey Diddle Diddle.