
Author has written 1 story for Charmed, and Twilight.
Hi my name is Jaclyn.
I'm busy in school a lot so A Charmed Twilight might no get updated every Friday but I will try. This is the first story
I ever wrote so please be kind I don't take insults well but I take suggestions well.
This is the link to what Phoenix looks like
LOL
-if you're one of those people who get excited when they see just two reviews paste this into your profile
-93 percent of teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.
-Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "where to begin?"
-If you are crazy and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile.
-if you have ever tripped over air copy this into your profile
-if you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into you profile
-if you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects, copy this into your profile
-if you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this into your profile.
-if you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE!
Funny random things about me;
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!
i speak fluent sarcasm.
I don't obsess, I think intensely!
My knight in shining turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.
I'm not afraid of Death, what's it gonna do kill me?
I had my soul removed to make room for sarcasm and I don't regret it.
Do you want to know why I'm still on earth? Heaven kicked me out and hell is afraid I'll take over.
yeah you have the right to your own opinion, but i have the right to think your stupid.
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
I wouldn't have OCD if everyone else would just do things the right way.
I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
I wouldn't have OCD if everyone else would just do things the right way.
People that don't know me think I'm quiet. People that do wish I was.
I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.
I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.
I was gifted but the psychiatrist took away my super powers
Questions I ask myself everyday
Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are the same number of letters?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
If Barbie's So Popular, Why Do You Have To Buy Her Friends
Random things
It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt...then it's hilarious
"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."
Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them.
If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.
There are no stupid questions – just a bunch of inquisitive idiots.
It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face.
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide.
Life's Greatest Pleasure Is Doing What People Tell You Not To Do
Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads
Things everyone should know
Do not run in the school hall, gliding is more fun.
When the universe gives you lemons make orange juice and sit back and watch the universe figure out how you did it.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. But if the doctor is cute, screw the fruit!
Of course it's in the last place you look for it. Why in hell would you keep looking for it if you already found it.
When you get caught looking at him, just remember he was looking back.
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.
Being mature is overrated.
Being weird is like being normal, only better.
They say, "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." Well, I think the gun helps. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up.
24 Things I owe to my Mother
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you two are going to kill each other, at least do it outside. I just finished cleaning!"
2. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week."
3. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."
4. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you aren't coming to the store with me!"
5. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.
6. My mother taught IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."
7. My mother taught me about THE SCIENCE OF OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"
8. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!"
9. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
10. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"Your room looks like a tornado went through there!"
11. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate!"
12. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out of it too!"
13. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
14. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children around the world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"
15. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home!"
16. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You're going to get it when we get home!"
17. My mother taught me about MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to freeze that way!"
18. My mother taught me about ESP.
"Put your sweater on! Don't you think I know when you're cold?"
19. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When the lawnmower cuts off you toes, don't come crying to me!"
20. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
21. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
22. My mother taught me about MY ROOTS.
"Shut that door! Do you think you were raised in a barn?"
23. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you're my age, you'll understand
24. My mother taught me JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
I hate stereotypes
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLOURS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be into them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and tha'ts how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff.
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have a black friend so I MUST think I'm black.
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a CHINESE ANCESTRY, so I MUST eat dog.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE, so I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a WOMAN, so I MUST love shopping.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm not WHITE, so I MUST have been born abroad.
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy.
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so it MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I USE and CHAT ON MSN, so I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast.
I'm NOT good at SPORTS so I MUST be fat and lazy.
I like GAMES so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist.
Copy and paste this onto YOUR profile, if you hate stereotypes and they really bug you! Then bold/highlight the statements, that apply to you!!
This is really sad.
I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back.
"The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."
Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''
The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''
Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.
"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.
She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."
I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.
But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."
His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''
My heart nearly stopped.
The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."
Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me."
"I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."
Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.
I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''
"OK" he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.
The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"
Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''
"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''
"My mommy loves white roses."
A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.
Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.
The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.
Was this the family of the little boy?
Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.
I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.
She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.
I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.
And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.
Twilight Oath
I promise to remember Bella
Each time I carelessly fall down
And I promise to remember Edward
Whenever I'm out of town
I promise to obey traffic laws
For Charlies sake of course
And I promise to remember Jacob
When my heart fills with remorse
I promise to remember Carlisle
When ever I am in the Emergency Room
And I promise to remember Emmett
Every time there's a huge boom
I promise to to remember Rose
Whenever I see someone that holds pure beauty
And I promise to remember Alice
When I'm at a mall and a cute outfit spots me
I promise to remember Nessie
When I see that beautiful curly hair
And I promise to remember Esme
When someone tells me they care
I promise to remember Jasper
Whenever my emotions are unfurled
And I promise to remember the Volturi
When someone speaks of dominating the world
Yes I promise to love Twilight
Wherever I may go
So that all may see my obsession
Because I know what the Twilighters know
Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
He told his friends that it was cool
And when he pulled the trigger back
It shot with a great crack
Mummy I was a good girl
I did what I was told
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold
But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye
I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry
When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another
And all because he got the gun from his older brother
Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much
And please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush
And tell my little sister that she is the only one now
And tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best
Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest
Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class
And never to forget this and please don't let this pass
Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this
Mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss
And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try
I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry
Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest
But mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest
Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack
Mummy listen to me if you would
I wanted to go to college
I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with daddy
On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married
I wanted to have a kid
I wanted to be an actress
Mummy I wanted to live
But mummy I must go now
The time is getting late
Mummy tell my Chris
I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date
I love you mummy I always have
I know you know it's true
Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you