Girl Comebacks!

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

If you repost this you will get a phone call 37 minutes after you repost
This...
If you don't resent this then your love life will be doomed for eternity.

That was something I picked up from a couple of friends I have, and I got to say these are some great sayings!

I'm Janelle Rosette, but please just call me Janelle. Please just read my stories before you press the back button and leave a comment that could help me improve!

Now how about some more stuff huh?

This is really sweet...

When a girl is quiet, a million things are running through her mind.

When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with her eyes full of questions, she is wondering how long you will be around.

When a girl answers "I'm fine." after a few seconds, she is not fine at all.

When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying.

When a girl rests her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be her's forever.

When a girl wants to see you everyday, she wants to be pampered.

When a girl says "I love you." she means it.

When a girl says "I miss you." nobody could miss you more than that.

Life only comes around once, so make sure you spend it with the right person.

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, and calls you back when you hang up on him.

The guy who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,

Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.

The one who holds your hand in front of his friends and is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you there for him.

The one who turns to his friends and declares "That's her.".

If you read this, you have to repost it, guy or girl, or you will have bad luck for the rest of your life.

If you repost this, in five minutes your true love will call or message you.

Tonight at midnight, they will realize that they love you.

Something good will happen at approximately 1:42 pm tomorrow, and it could happen anywhere.

So get ready for the biggest shock of your life.

If you don't repost this, you will be cursed with relationship problems for all of eternity.

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been
With us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth
Records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing
When to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't
Always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than
You can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing
Regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual
Harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using
Mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student,
Only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that
They themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It
Declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to
Administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform
Parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband;
Churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than they're
Victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar
In your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize
That's a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and
Was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife,
Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To
Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized
He was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the
Majority and do nothing.

Now that's all I got so far but now let's get to the other things like My Stories!

Disabled

The Disabled series is a new series I thought of when I was first in Middle school. But then I forgot about it soon after I had written it, at the beginning of the year I found my writing on it and I decided to upgrade it to a more High school maturity version. Now I have the first story remade and ready for me to publish, and I'm now going to start working on upgrading to other stories and finish the other ones I gave up on when I got out of the idea of them. I hope you enjoy them once I've Published them.

Book One: Mute - In Progress

Book Two: Blind - Not Published Yet

Book Three: Deaf - Not Published Yet

Book Four: Schizophrenia - Not Published Yet

Book Five: Misophonia - Not Finished Yet

Book Six: Autism - Not Even Begun Yet (Hey this season wasn't out when I was in Middle school as I have to start from scratch!)

Book Seven: Imoblity - Not Even Begun yet (Same as to one above I have to start from scratch.)