Hi! I'm Dave the L's Gal (or Ms. States the Obvious)

I wish for a few things. One is that I was older and Asian and a guy, 'cuz in the Karate Kid, real life and Gremlins, the old Asian guy knows all!

Visit me at www.fictionpress.net/~attendthetale (I think that's the easy url) where I'm (shocker) AttendTheTale.

My fav books are anything written by Tamora Pierce, Harry Potter, Confessions of Georgia Nicolson, Running with Scissors, Possible Side Effects, Dry, Lord of the Flies, Secrets of a Former Fat Girl, Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West, You Don’t Know Me, Guitar Girl, Pop Princess, Warriors, Warriors: The New Prophecy, Artemis Fowl, Red Dwarf series, Ella Enchanted, Mates Dates, The Uncensored Confession of 6X, Gingerbread, Shrimp, Killing Britney, Candy, TTYL, TTFN, l8er g8er, Kissing Kate, Keeping You a Secret, Luna, Son of a Witch, The Diary of a Teenage Girl, Without You, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series, Green Eggs and Ham (who doesn't love it?), Oh! The Places You'll Go, I Don't Want to Be Crazy, What My Mother Doesn't Know, What My Girlfriend Doesn't Know, When of Those Horrible Books Where the Mother Dies, Playground, Oh The Glory of it All, and others.

My fav colors are red, black, and green.

I love music so much it's scary! I love MUSICALS, Christina Aguilera, Avril Lavigne, Lillix, Pink, Alica Keys, Kelly Clarkson, No Doubt, Green Day, Me First and the Gimme Gimmes, Harry and the Potters (they aren't amazing, they just crack me up!), Lily Allen, some David Bowie, Art Brut, Anthony Rapp, Elliot Smith, Kristin Chenoweth, Idina Menzel, Johnny Cash, Maroon 5, The Killers, The Hazzards, and I like a lot of oldies. "American Pie" by Don McLean is my family's theme song basically; my sister danced with us to that song before her real first dance with her husband! But I’m a bigger sucker for musicals. (Note, don’t like Gwen Stefani that much. Shouldn’t have gone solo.) I have WAY to many songs to mention.

TV: I love SCRUBS (so amazing!), House, Radio Free Roscoe, Red Dwarf, Monty Python’s Flying Circus, Degrassi: The Next Generation, Daria, Rug rats: All Grown Up, Dead Like Me, Mind of Mencia, The Daily Show, Late Night with Conan O'Brien, Hannah Montana (yeah, I'm a loser), Animaniacs, Pinky and the Brain, Family Guy, The Simpsons, and others.

In characters, I like Alanna the best (if she was tall, she would be almost exactly like me.) and Briar and Rosethorn and Tris (tempers are me). I love Ron, Sirius, James, and Remus. Travis and Lily and Ray, I love Georgia and Dave the L (Laugh.) (MINE!) I like Holly and Artemis, and Ella.

I like the pairings: (And may I say, I WAS RIGHT ABOUT THE COUPLINGS IN HP AND THE HBP! And my friends thought it was Harry/Hermione. Idiots.)

Tamora Pierce: Alanna/George(I'm such a purist on couplings. You cannot make stories with paring like Alanna/Jon because you want it...that's not how it's written!), Nawat/Aly(I love the ending of Trickster's Choice!), Thayet/Jon(I don't understand why everyone thinks she's a bitch...), Numair/Daine, Kel/Dom,

Harry Potter: Ron/Herms (it's obvious! Seriously...how could you say other wise?), Harry/Ginny(obvious since the second book!), Tonks/Remus, some Harry/Draco are good, too.

RFR: Lily/Ray, Travis/OH FUCK! I feel so bad now...I haven't watched it in forever! I can't remember Lily's friends name...I did cry at the end of that series finale, though...and Kim/Robbie.

Georgia Nicolson: Georgia/Sex God, Georgia/Dave the Laugh, Me/Dave the L…obviously...

Wicked: Uh...obviously Glinda/OC and Elphaba/Fiyero...unless it's a flashback, then it should be Galinda/Fiyero

Rent: Roger/Mimi, Angel/Collins, Joanne/Maureen, and Mark/OC...Benny can go fk Alison...or me...jk SERIOUSLY!...but it's Taye Diggs...but seriously, I don't need to do that...

And OC/OC!

I don't like:

Harry Potter: Harry/Hermione, random slashes...I am a full supporter of gay people, but I know they would never have slashes in Harry Potter (at least not obvious ones). In short, Lily/anyone else but James, Hermione/anyone else but Ron, Ron/any one but Herms, Harry/anyone but Ginny, Ginny/Anyone but Harry

Wicked: Glinda/Elphaba

Rent: Mark/Roger...I just don't see it...plus you could find about any person from Rent with any other person from Rent, and like I said before, I'm a purist...

RFR: Lily/Travis...It was OK in the show but now it's just stupid.

Tamora Pierce: Jon/Alanna, Thayet/George, Kel/anyone but Dom...

My stories usually always have them all OOC I ain't sorry at all.

My fav movies include Dead Poet's Soceity, Mean Girls, Clueless, Music and Lyrics, Harry Potter movies (especially OOTP!), Little Shop of Horrors (musical one), Moulin Rogue, Chicago, The Wizard of Oz (classic, though Wicked did do some damage to it…), Rent, The Producers (both), Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Miss Congeniality, Zoolander, Bill Cosby Himself, Pirates of the Caribbean, Wedding Crashers, Bruce Almighty, Running with Scissors, Not Another Teen Movie, American Pie, But I'm a Cheerleader, Slums of Beverly Hills, and Disney musicals (the good ones) I like more, too.

I have 5 pets; I love cats, dogs, and guinea pigs...I really miss my guinea pig, Cassandra, but we had to put her to sleep since she was having a stroke.

I am blond, 5 foot 9 inches (taller than 3 of my sisters!), overweight (but losing it!), and I am 16...and I need to renew my permit cuz you can get a permit when you're 14 here but mine expired! I live in Kansas, which only Iowa can be more boring. All my friends—actually, anyone who know me—know for a fact that I read too much, and REALLY fast. I read the fifth HP in fewer 24 hours of reading time, and even less for the sixth. I set a goal in sixth grade for the first quarter of reading logs to read 1000 pages; I had that done before the school year started.

I love music and want to be a singer/actress on Broadway and in movies. Most likely Avril type pop/MUSICAL THEATER and work with Christina Aguilera or Avril in the future…And all the above-mentioned people. I don’t mind Britney Spears (I’m sorry, her writers are geniuses.) and Hilary Duff sucks CENSOR

I have a lot of older sisters (I'm the youngest), one of them says if she does a director like she wants to, she will make the Tamora Pierce books into a movie! She'll probably only do the ones in Tortall. Which reminds me, I need to let her get my copy of trickster's Choice. HMM...

My favorite musicals are (in no ranking order): Rent; CATS (Cats will always be there, it was the first musical I ever saw on Broadway); Zanna, Don't!; Reefer Madness; Spring Awakening; Tick, Tick...BOOM!; Wicked; Bat Boy: The Musical; The Producers; Oklahoma; Avenue Q; title of show; Little Shop of Horrors; Guys and Dolls, Hairspray; Cry Baby; Ruthless; The Twenty Fifth Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee; Company; Copacabana; Jersey Boys; Songs for a New World; Best Little Whorehouse in Texas; Sweeny Todd; The Wizard of Oz; You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown; and some others I can't remember.

I play percussion (school band, mainly drum set and mallets), some violin, guitar, viola, and bass (beginning of Stacy’s Mom YES!), most of my piano has left me, and I sing A LOT! (Just ask my sis, Juliet Short) I really hate a lot of things , but I hate it the most when people say percussion and singing are easy. I tell them that it's easy to play it, but not to play it well! I quit band so I wouldn't have to do marching band in high school since I actually value sleep and summer and both would be gone since you have to be at school at 6 AM for band camp!

When I'm not online, I'm swimming (in summer), doing homework, practicing voice, practicing drums, or sleeping.

I often cuss (swear if you want to be all proper and non-Kansan) and I'm sorry if that offends you, but I think it's stupid to be offended by words; they did nothing to you! People just put meaning behind them. So I just put all my stories at "T" since I think it's stupid that the MPAA makes any movie with more than two fuck's in it R. Yet violence is COMPLETELY fine. Bullshit!

I have a horrible temper and a lot of times will bite someone's head off for saying hello. (That’s why I think I like Alanna and Rosethorn) I'm very weird and have multiple personalities. I speak my mind, and hate it when people follow "the crowd" or "the man"

I learned to swim when I was two, and I love it. Volleyball’s okay, and I LOVE dancing, which will help in musical theater. I get on the computer and talk a lot (not just on a computer) and I mainly get on Facebook and ff.net, where I like funny fics, random, karaoke, truth or dare, and some song fics.

I have no life.

I like it when people update more quickly. I'm sorry if I do random things or quote songs or don't update or sing randomly or quote things from Dilbert, Garfield, Zits, or Foxtrot or from anywhere else. Actually... I'm not sorry! (Except for the update thingy)

Random quotes:

"Am I supposed to be afraid of pillows or something?"
--Harry Potter in HPatOOtP

Harry: So you have a sun, which means happiness, and a cross, which means suffering. So apparently you're going to suffer, but you're going to be happy about it.
Ron: I think you need your inner eye checked.
--HPatPOA

I'm a proud member of SPERM!

"I seriously thought there was a problem with the sound; I couldn't believe that it was ever that high! No one could have taken me seriously!"
--Daniel Radcliffe on Conan about seeing the first Harry Potter movie on TV late at night

Conan O'Brien: Well, you have large, luminous eyes
Daniel Radcliffe: You have beautiful hair...

"Asphyxiate me Elmo!"

"Ron! That was...clever!"
--Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix movie

Umbridge: Harry! Tell them I mean no harm!
Harry: I'm sorry, Professor. I must not tell lies.
--Harry Potter and the OOTP movie SNAP!

Me: What's "snap" in German?
Vicki: shrugs Schnapp?

Jay: Are you going to take a huge load of dough--
Daniel: And what? Make a big thing of bread??
--Tonight Show with Jay Leno

"So we came up with a very clever ruse. Ruse is a word you don't hear often on American television, so treasure it."
Daniel Radcliffe on Jay

"He's going to bring it onto the set of the fourth film. Fourth film? We've done FIVE Dan!"
--Daniel Radcliffe on Jay Leno

"That even a young male Wizard has recurrent disabling headache is a reflection of the wider problem of headache in children and adolescents,"
ines-headaches/news/200706 29/harry-potter-has-migrai ne-headaches

Hermione: Everything is going to be different, isn't it?
Harry: walks over and claps hand on shoulder...Yes.
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

"They booed human birth!"
--Conan O'Brien

"I'd rather be nine people's favorite thing than 100 people's 9th favorite thing."
title of show

"You don't dance like you walk, so don't sing like you talk." Allegro teacher

"No day but today!" Rent

"Popular, you're gonna be popular!" Galinda, Wicked

"I think I'll try defying gravity!" Elphaba, Wicked

"MIIIIMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" Roger, Rent

"I'm tall!" Ron, Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

"I'd rather be nine people's favorite thing than 100 people's ninth favorite thing." title of show

"You look weak soldier...have you been sleeping with WOMEN? I bet your daddy slept with women...does that make you mad? It makes me mad soldier that they're letting them there heteros in this man's army!" Zanna in Zanna, Don't!

"So if you care to find me/look to the Western Sky/As someone told me lately/everyone deserves a chance to fly!/And if I'm flying solo, at least I'm flying free!/To those who ground me, take a message back from me!" Elphaba, Wicked

"Now life is free and easy!/Much more philosphy-zy/With my brand new.../.../.../Clearly, some philosophies aren't for all people...And that's my new philosophy!"--Sally Brown, You're a good Man, Charlie Brown

Roseanne: Your in trouble and your punishment is not going to be having sex with your boyfriend!
Darlene: Obviously you've never had sex with my boyfriend.

"You guys just don't get that I'm Mexican!" Kaity!!

"I loved Graham, I can't believe he said those things! Wait, am I thinking of the right kid? Cute little guy, long hair, probably going to be gay? I think that's him..."

Me: I'm sorry, lol. Isn't that such a PLACE I LIVE thing? "I'm not on crack, I am on the finer quality stuff." all you need to add is a "daddy pays for it" comment lol.
Kaitlyn: Okay, I will...and daddy pays for it and it is imported from AUSTRALIA!!

"My glass is half-full of water and half-full of air." Kaity love her!

"ORANGE MOCHA FRAPPUCINOS!!" Zoolander

"Matilda, I was at a day spa. D-A-I-Y-E, Day!" Zoolander

"Don't worry; words can only hurt if you read them. Don't play their game." an extra on Zoolander

"This is my dog. I had him bronzed and put to sleep. If I could do it again, I would do it in a different order." another extra on Zoolander

"I'm clear faced and I'm not horny!" Kaity hahaha long story

"I guess it would only be a problem if they had kids, but that still wouldn't be a problem for us. We'd just say, 'Mommy is one of the chosen people, and daddy believes that Jesus is MAGIC!'" Sarah Silverman: Jesus is Magic

Gretchen: But Karen, he's your cousin. Karen: Yeah, my FIRST cousin.
G: Yeah
K: See you have your cousins, then your first cousins...
Mean Girls

"They would sing me to sleep every night: A-B-C-D-E-F-G...BOOM!!" Crybaby

"Do not have sex or you will get pregnant and die." Mean Girls

"Chlamidia, K-L..." Mean Girls

Jesse: What was that?
James: It sounded like a sound.
Pokemon hahaha

Me/Danielle: Wow, you should write for POKEMON!

Dad: I was in the car and I heard on the radio that Willie Nelson was coming to Kansas on August first(his bday) and I though it was karma!
pause
Vicki: Wait! How's that karma?

"Don't mind me...I'm a condom..."
My sage, Olivia

"you're momma's so fat I sleep on her belly."
Olivia again!

Me: It's like, "Theater: My Anti Drug."
Sami: More like, "Theater: My Drug."

"Homophobia is gay."

Right now I'm Listening' to music—probably Rent or Candide—Reading Kansas Driving Handbook, Waiting for HP 7, Artemis Fowl movie, and the next Georgia Nicolson book

I'm Laughing Away on a Fast Camel,

~Dave the L's Gal, Queen of Music, Mistress of Evil, Internet Freak, Chatterbox, Singer, Book Worm, Manuela, Sarah, Jean, Alex, TAB, and All That Jazz~

PS, I'm working to update my stories, but here are some upcoming ones:

Why is it so?-Degrassi-If Marco wasn't gay. ‘Nuff said.

Thoughts of the Crooked Eye-TP-What people think about Aly in Trickster's Choice.

The Unusual Convent-TP-If Alanna went to convent, with a twist.

Laughing Away on a Fast Camel in the US-Georgia Nicolson-Gegee and friends get to go on a trip across the US cuz of her parents sudden money. new character(s). Based off my trips in the states.

Ellie Stripped-Degrassi-Just some stuff from Ellie's view.

When We Met-Versionsin TP, HP, and others-What lovers/friends thought when they first met.

WTF, Mate? —Versions in TP, HP, and others-Random fic

Untitled—Musicals/Plays(Wicked)—I know it’s over done, but what happens in Oz when Glinda is the Supreme ruler and Elphaba and Fiyero are off in a cave in the Arjikis? Will Glinda find out about them, or will they go to her?

Marky!--Musicals/Plays(Rent)--Probably considered over done, too, but I've always felt bad for Mark...he gets together with a new character. Obviously Mark/OC.

First and Lasts--Musicals/Plays(Rent)--A collection of one-shots describing the bohemians signifigant first and lasts. These include: Mark's first time filming, Mimi's first time shooting up, Mimi's last time in her house, Mimi's first Cat Scratch dance, Roger's first time meeting April, Collins' first gay experience, Angel's first time in drag, Maureen's first performance, etc.

"So say 'arrevidici', 'cherio', and 'ciao! Cuz Mama, I'm a big girl now!" (Hairspray)