Basics:

Name: Kourtney

Hair Color: Blonde

Eye Color: Blue

Birthday: July 31

Tumblr: honey-nipples.tumblr.com

Quotes I Like!!!! :) (Full credit to whoever said these! I'm not clever enough to come up with a good quote.)

Today You are you. That is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you Dr. Seuss

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

When I die I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did in his sleep. Not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

Accept that some day you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue.

Children seldom misquote you. In fact they usually repeat word from word of what you shouldn't have said.

There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or you suck.

Being dyslexic has drawbacks. I once went to a toga party dressed as a goat.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you're a mile away. And you have their shoes.

My mind works like lightning...one brilliant flash and it's gone.

A person's a person, no matter how small. Dr. Seuss

I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, And that enables you to laugh at life's realities. Dr. Seuss

Do what makes you happy. Be with who makes you smile. Laugh as much as you breath. Love as long as you live.

You are you. Now, isn't that pleasant? Dr. Seuss

I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me! Dr Seuss

Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So... get on your way. Dr. Seuss

You're in pretty good shape for the shape you are in. Dr. Seuss

From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere. Dr. Seuss

There are 3 kinds of people, those who make it happen, those who watch it happen and those who don't know what the heck is happening.

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter dont mind. Dr. Seuss

And will you succeed? Yes indeed, yes indeed! Ninety-eight and three-quarters percent guaranteed! Dr. Seuss

I once believed I could fly. The broken neck proved that theory wrong and it wasn't even my neck

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.

I am proud to be American. Because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread.

The 12 step chocolate program: NEVER BE MORE THAN 12 STEPS AWAY FROM CHOCOLATE!

Your hand and your mouth agreed many years ago that, as far as chocolate is concerned, there is no need to involve your brain.

We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in a mutual weirdness and call it love. Dr. Suess

You ever got one thing to do all day but you just can't get yourself to do it? I gotta go to the post office... but I'd probably have to put on pants. They're only open until 5. I'm going to have to do that next week. Jim Gaffigan

I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

COPY AND PASTE

If you smile/laugh when you're nervous, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

Harry's the bravest

Ron's the most oblivious

Hermione's the smartest

Ginny's the toughest

Neville's the clumsiest

Luna's the weirdest

Dumbledore's the greatest

McGonagall's the strictest

Snape's the greasiest

Nick is the ghostiest

Crabbe's the largest

Goyle's the dumbest

Fred is the funniest

Cho is the sappiest

But Draco Malfoy can sit in a corner and STILL make everyone else jealous!!! :)

If you've ever forgotten how old you are when someone asked you, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you're still waiting for your Hogwarts letter, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

-If you get obsessed with stuff easily, paste this to your profile!

If you are anti-social sometimes copy this into your profile

If you have ever had a crush on a fictional character, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are sad because there will be no more Harry Potter books , copy and paste this into your profile

If you want to see a Quidditch match copy and paste this into your profile

Gryffindor (The biggest heros in HP history as far as we know):

1. Welcome to Gryffindor, a Weasley has probably slept in your bed.
2. Gryffindors: Brave to the point of Idiocy.
3. Gryffindor: Because we blur the line between bold and stupid every time.
4. The beautiful, the brave and the bold.
5. Gryffindor: I'll kick your ass.
6. I'm in Gryffindor, you're in Gryffindor- let's hug!!
7. Gryffindor: because we get enough exercise just pushing our luck.
8. No excuses, rule breaking is customary.
9. Gryffindors are attention whores.

Slytherin (The Junior Death Eaters):
1. We aren't all evil... yeah, we are.
2. Cunning and Ambition: Slytherin.
3. Go ahead, be a little naughty.
4. Slytherin: We have chained boys in the dungeons.
5. Slytherin: Because our common room is underwater (and that's cool).
6. It's not that we aren't better than you (except it totally is).
7. Why be normal? Or good?
8. We are Junior Death Eaters. Deal with it.
9. Slytherin: means never having to say you're sorry.
10. Seriously evil wizard coming through.
11. I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest.
12. Slytherins do it on Snape's desk.
13. Voldemort needs prision bitches.
14. Because real friends help you Incendio the bodies.
15. Property of the Half-Blood Prince.
16. We're only wearing black until something darker comes along.
17. Don't hate us beacuse we're beautiful, hate us because we kick your ass at everything.
18. Never wound what can kill you.

Hufflepuff (Some of the best people you'll ever meet):
1. I'm planning your death but in a happy way.
2. Brace youself- I'm going to hug you.
3. Nobody ever suspects the Hufflepuff.
4. You may be smarter, cooler, and better, but we still think you suck.
5. You think we're nice? That's cute...
6. Nowhere in the song does it say we're nice.
7. The love of a Hufflepuff was the only love good enough for Neville.
8. Hufflepuff: We kill you with smiles and rainbows.
9. All we got was Cedric... and that didn't turn out so good, did it?
10. Hufflepuffs kick ass too.
11. Hufflepuff: Formerly known as the party house.
12. Hufflepuffs know how to party.
13. Hufflepuff: We have cupcakes. Need we say more?
14. Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them so much.
15. Hufflepuffs are Particularly good finders.

Ravenclaw (The smartest house with the only ones who don't blow themselves up):
1. I don't need romance, I have goldfish.
2. A room without books is like a body without a soul.
3. I can kill you with my brain.
4. Ravenclaw pride. Be afraid.
5. It's not that we are smarter than you (except it totally is).
6. I'm a Ravenclaw, which clearly means I am elligable to boast about my intellegence level in your face.
7. Ravenclaw: beacuse we know every insult in the book. (Get it, their smart and they know every insult in the book!)
8. Ravenclaw: geeks shall inherit the earth.
9. Ravenclaw: Dangerously over-educated. (Seriously over-educated.)
10. Ravenclaw: Tact enough for people who aren't witty enough to be sarcastic.
11. Ravenclaw: because everyone else is just dumb

Meaning of Each Letter in Your Name

A: Hot
B: Loves people
C: A good kisser
D: Makes people laugh
E: Has gorgeous eyes
F: People wild and crazy adore you
G: Very outgoing
H: Easy to fall in love with
I: Loves to smile and laugh
J: Really sweet
K: Really silly
L: Smile to die for
M: Makes dating fun
N: Can kick the crap out of you
O: Has one of the best personalities ever
P: Popular with all types of people
Q: A hypocrite
R: Good boyfriend/girlfriend
S: Cute
T: A very good kisser
U: Is very flirtatious.
V: Not judgemental
W: Very broad minded
X: Never let people tell you what to do
Y: Is loved by everyone
Z: Can be funny and dumb at times

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, They are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOUR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. my mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Six Truths Of Life

1. You cannot touch all of your teeth with your tongue

2. All idiots, after reading the first truth, try it

3.The first truth is a lie

4. You're smiling now because you are an idiot

5. You soon will forward this on to another idiot

6. There is still a stupid smile on your face

Now send this to another idiot to fall for if you fell for it and I now you did.

I Hate It When People Ask:

1) Can I ask you a question? (Didn’t gimme a choice there, did ya sunshine?)

2) Did you get a haircut? (No, it shrunk…)

3) Did you lose weight? (Yeah. It just vanished! I’ve been looking for it…)

4) Did you catch a fish? (Nope. I talked it into giving itself up.)

5) *Waiter* Table for how many? (One hundred and twelve. Us 3 would like to switch seats every 4 minutes.)

6) Were you sitting there? (Yes. me and my imaginary friend Steve.)

7) Your not wearing that out are you? (Actually, I was planning on going naked, what do you think?)

8) Is that yours? (No, I stole it.)

9) *Watching a trick* Am I supposed to pick a card? (No, you’re supposed to pick your nose.)

10) Are you going to eat that? (Only if you want it.)

11) *Doctor* How are you today? (Great! I just like your company.)

12) *Clerk at store* Is that all? (Why? Wasn’t this enough?)

13) Where did you get that accent? (I bought it on ebay.)

14) Hey, are you moving? (Nope. we just like to pack our stuff up in boxes every week.)

15) Are you always funny? (No, I only make a special effort on Tuesdays and Thursdays.)

In Remembrance...

…In remembrance of Fred Weasley…

…Who fought bravely to the very end….

…And whose jokes will forever brighten his other half…

…And will loyally await his identical brother…

… with many jokes…

...he's got forever to think of them, right?

...In remembrance of Dobby...

…Who was more free and full of love…

...than any elf, and most humans.

….In remembrance of Remus J. Lupin….

...the last real Marauder...

…who was not just a wonderful father…

….a incredible husband and brave hero…

...as well as a totally awesome werewolf.

….In remembrance of Nymphadora Tonks…

…who died for ‘the greater good’…

...and would probably hex me for calling her Nymphadora.

…In remembrance of Alastor ‘Mad-Eye’ Moody….

…who’s motto ‘constant vigilance’ kept him alive…

...and scared the crap out of some kids too.

…In remembrance of Tom Marvolo Riddle a.k.a. Voldemort….

…who was pretty cool, and cute when he was younger…

…but who got his bottom thoroughly kicked in the end.

…In remembrance of Albus Dumbledore…

…whose past and wisdom confused us…

…whose seeming betrayal shocked us…

…but who actually turned out to be an okay guy in the end...

...despite the whole 'almost killing Harry' thing.

In remembrance of Bellatrix Lestrange…

… because it’s was awesome how Molly slapped her with that Avada Kedavra...

...she deserved everything she got and more.

…In remembrance of Colin Creevey…

…who we really didn’t know too well…

…but took a lot of pictures and died fighting in a war…

…so he must’ve done something good…

…besides stalking Harry.

…In remembrance of Severus Snape….

….A Slytherin who died like a Gryffindor…

...without all the red and gold crap.

…In remembrance of Hedwig…

...Harry’s actual first friend…

...who lived and died soaring.

...In remembrance of Sirius Black...

...who always said...

...that spending time with his family just might kill him...

I promise to remember Harry

When someone grows up with no love

I promise to remember Ron

When someone is jealous

I promise to remember Hermione

When I meet someone with wisdom beyond their years

I promise to remember James and Lily

when someone dies before their time

I promise to remember Dumbledore

At the thought of the greater good

I promise to "Solemely Swear That I Am Up To No Good"

for Gred, Forge, and Padfoot of course

I promise to remember Moony

And fight for human rights

I promise to remember Snape

When My heart fills with remorse

I promise to remember Narcissa

When I'd do anything for family

I promise to remember Dora Tonks

When someone is hyper

I promise to remember Hedwig,

who lived and died soaring

I promise to remember Percy

When ambition gets the best of me

I promise to be careful

For Moody's sake, of course

I promise to remember Hagrid

When one is wrongly blamed

I promise to remember Neville

when I stand up for what is right

I promise to remember the Marauders

When a friend says "Call me and I'll be there."

Neville Longbottom Awesomeness:

The Sorting Hat is no longer used at Hogwarts; students are sorted based on how long it takes them to cry in the presence of Neville Longbottom.

Even though it was difficult getting four dragons for the Triwizard Tournament, the officials decided it was safer than the original plan of using Neville.

Neville Longbottom is the reason that the Cauldron is Leaky.

Muggles don't know about Lord Voldemort, but they do know about Neville Longbottom.

If Neville had a myspace, he'd have more friends than Tom.

Originally, there was a spell called "Neville Longbottom" but when cast in a duel, both wizards would explode leaving nothing more than a smear of blood and a fraction of wand. They quickly changed this spell to the much weaker "Avada Kedavra."

Neville Longbottom doesn't bow to hippogriffs. Hippogriffs bow to Neville Longbottom.

If you're looking for Neville on the Marauder's map, he's labeled "BAMF."

Thestrals can only see Neville Longbottom if they've witnessed someone dying.

Neville became Head Boy AND Girl. No one dared comment.

Neville Longbottom sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled bad-ass wizarding ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Neville Expelliarmus'd the devil's ass and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play Exploding Snap every second Wednesday of the month.

When Harry and Ginny's children were conceived, Ginny was thinking of Neville. So was Harry.

They said Dumbledore was the only man Voldemort was afraid of. They lied.

Before Neville punched it, it was known as Horizont Alley.

When Neville uses the knight bus, he calls himself Harry Potter to avoid all the attention.

Neville Longbottom is often transported to the Room of Requirement, because the Room Requires Neville.

When Neville Apparates, he doesn't move -- the rest of the world shifts according to his design. The fact that this causes disasters like the Asian tsunami to occur is of little consequence to Neville.

Professor Quirrel didn't have to fake his stammer in Neville's presence.

Voldemort's Boggart is Neville.

God first created man. Thinking he could do better, God created women. Then God created Neville Longbottom.

Neville Longbottom is what's beyond the veil.

Even phoenix tears won't cure wounds inflicted by Neville Longbottom.

Neville's patronus is Neville, because nothing else is badass enough to represent him.

Merlin got an Order of Neville, Third Class.