If you can raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed erveylteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! Paste this to your profile if you can read this!

hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly. Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams go life is a barren field frozen with snow- I did not make this up, I read it on a wall in a cafe but I think it's beautiful. If you agree with this poem and think that it is beautiful, copy and paste this to your profile and let the whole world know.

Please read:

This is a story about God. Read if you believe in him, and read even if you don't.

A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?

Repost this if you truly believe in God.

If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven.

Ninety-six percent of teens in the world today don't stand up for God. If you are one of the 4 percent that does put this in your profile.

An Amazing story (But not my experience)

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.'

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.

She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.'

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.'

His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.'

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.'

'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.'

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!'

Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''

'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

'My mommy loves white roses.'

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started.

I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message, or
2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart

ZODIAC SIGNS

AQUARIUS - The Slut (1/20-2/18) Great talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Knows how to Have fun. Is really good at almost anything. Great kisser. Unpredictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found. 7 years of bad luck if you do not repost.-I'm an Aquarius, marinmelan.

PISCES - The Addict (2/19-3/20) EXTREMELY adorable. Intelligent. Loves to joke. Very Good sense of humor. Energetic. Predict future. GREAT kisser. Always get what they want. Attractive. Easy going. Loves being in long relationship. Talkative. Romantic. Caring. 4 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

LEO - The Cool One (7/23-8/22) Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, Fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you'll ever meet! Very beautiful. Amazing. however not the kind of person you wanna mess with... u might end up crying... 9 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

CANCER - The Smart One. (6/22-7/22) Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being In long-term relationships. Extremely energetic. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out. 2 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

ARIES- The Irresistible One (3/21-4/19) Nice Love is one of a kind. Great listeners Very Good in bed... Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Trustworthy. Always happy. Loud. Talkative. Outgoing VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE. 9 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

SAGITTARIUS-The One that Waits (11/22-12/21) Dominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always Wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Loud. Loyal. Beautiful. Goofy. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. The one and only. 7 Years of bad luck if you do not repost.

TAURUS- The Aggressive One (4/20-5/20) MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high appeal. Love is one of a kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet! Entirely creative. Extremely random and proud of it. Freak. Spontaneous. Great at telling Stories. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to. 12 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

LIBRA - The Partner for Life (9/23-10/22) Caring and kind. Smart. Center of attention. High appeal. Has the last word. Good to find, hard to keep. Fun to be around. Extremely weird but in a good way. Good Sense of Humor!! Thoughtful. Always gets what he or she wants. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet. 5 years of bad luck if you do not repost. - im a libra XD - darkmoon472

CAPRICORN - The Cute One (12/22-1/19) Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. EXTREMELY SEXY. Predict future. Irresistible. Loves being in long relationships. Has lots of friends. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. Also not a fighter, but if they have to, they will also knock the lights out of you if it comes down to it… Cool. Loves to own Geminis' in sports. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart. 24 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

SCORPIO - The Gorgeous One (10/23-11/21) Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight for what they want. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Best kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. Amazing in bed. A caring person. One of a kind.Gorgeous Smile.Not one to mess with. Are the most attractive people on earth! 15 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

VIRGO- The Promiscuous One (8/23-9/22) Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in the you know where..!! Not the kind of person you wanna mess with- you might end up crying. 4 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

GEMINI - The Liar (5/21-6/21) Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny. Excellent kisser EXTREMELY adorable. Loves relationships. Addictive. Loud. 16 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

A poem about Child Abuse

My name is Lucifer

I am three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren’t ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can’t do a wrong

I can’t speak at all

Or else im locked up

All day long.

When im awake im all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren’t home

When my mommy does come home

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe ill just get

One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie’s bar.

I hear him curse

My name is called

I press myself

Against the wall

I try to hide

From his evil eyes

I’m so afraid now

I’m starting to cry

He finds me weeping

Calls me ugly words,

He says its my fault

He suffers at work.

He slaps and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And run to the door

He’s already locked it

And i start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken,

"I’m sorry!", I scream

But its now much to late

His face has been twisted

Into a unimaginable shape

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

O please God, have mercy!

O please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door

While i lay there motionless

Brawled on the floor

My name is Lucifer

I am three,

Tonight my daddy

Murdered me

Now i roam the underworld,

to help those in need.

I may seem evil,

but i'm not.

And if you read this

and don’t pass it on

I pray for your forgiveness

Because you would have to be

One heartless person

To not be affected

By this Poem

And because you are affected,

Do something about it!

So all i ask you to do

Is pass this on!

IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE

from here to-

If you love FANFICTION.NET, add your name and copy and paste this into your profile. Rainstorm007, mysterys, Adderstar, Glissoning Raven, Aleksandrya Gregonovitch, freakily obsessed Yassen fan, Art is a bang XD, A'isha Ishtar, marinmelan,

If your crazy/or insane and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this into your profile!

98 percent of teenagers smoke or have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who haven't, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you want people to stop flaming, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your profile is longer than the chapters of most of your stories copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever considered going to the dark side since they have cookies, copy this onto your profile.

If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile.

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy this into your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it. If you are insane, enjoying every second, and proud of it, copy this and paste it into your profile.

If you are obsessed with something considered childish for someone your age, copy this into your profile.

98 of teenagers have participated in underaged drinking and drugs. If you're one of the 2 who hasn't, copy this into your profile wearing a smirk of pride.

98 of the internet has a myspace, if your one of the 2 that can restist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are always pressing one button when you mean to press another, copy this onto your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are odd, and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that writing Fanfic stories is fun then copy this onto your profile!

If you ever felt like chasing your friend and yelling "RUN BITCH RUN!" Put this on your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

FANFICTION: MY ANTI-DRUG. because, who has time for drugs if you're reading and plotting and writing and checking reviews? If this is true for you, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe), PurpleBunniesWillRuleTheWorld, Roxxi-and-Ali, IsabellaMarieSwan123, Paper Hearts and Paper Cuts, mahalo4ursupport, Kuro Uchiha, Sacra Nox, Haruko-Uzumaki, Heza-chan x3, totalnarutofangirl85, A'isha Ishtar,marinmelan,

If you know a video game/book/movie/anime/manga character or weapon that need(s) to exist, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like/love copying and pasting stuff into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

SPLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! If you are really random put this on your profile.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself (i find that i am a very tough opponent). So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly, Alleyanna Cullen, hugs.4.all.the.emo.boyz,sk8rchickmax, hizmit12-waterlilly3721, Moonlight Music Mistress, Kannika, Heza-chan X3, totalnarutofangirl85, A'isha Ishtar,marinmelan,

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy/paste this into your profile.

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off!

If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever quoted Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever done anything incredibly stupid for no apparent reason, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever been bored out of your mind, copy and paste this onto your profile.

90 of teens today would die if Myspace was completely destroyed. If you are one of the 10 that would be laughing, copy and paste this to your signature.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.

If you hear voices in your head and know that they are real put this on your profile.

If you think that I'm making you think too much then copy this onto your profile.

If your parents have ever told you that you weren't normal, and are proud of it copy this to your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you ever wanted to be sent to an asylum just so you can bounce around in the white padded room, copy and paste this to your profile!!

If you've read this ENTIRE profile and wasted about ten minutes reading what took me hours to put together, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are against fur coats or killing animals just to look good, copy this into your profile.

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your day isn't complete until you've terrified a complete stranger, copy and paste this into your profile.

Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune. (guilty)

If, during a quiet moment, you suddenly remember something funny and randomly bust out laughing, copy and paste this into your profile.

TRANSFORMERS CHARACTER MEME... THINGY. YES.

1. Knock Out

2. Starscream (from TFP)

3. Optimus Prime

4. Ironhide

5. Soundwave (TFP)

6. Prowl (TFA)

7. Blitzwing (TFA)

8. Blurr (TFA)

9. Breakdown

10. Skywarp (TFA)

1 woke you up in the middle of the night?

Me: *mumbles* Huh...? *looks at the clock* WTF, Knock Out! It's 2:30 in the morning!

KO: I know, but... but this is a matter of life or death!

Me: *sigh* What is it?

KO: *holds up two color samples* Fire truck red or cherry red?

Me: "Get your aft out of my room before I punch you" red. *buries face in pillow*

2 asked you to go out with him/her?

Me: You know, I guess I judged you too quick, Starscream. I'm sure my boyfriend won't mind anyway, I mean, you and I are just friends, right? This was sweet of you though... aww, look, you can see our base from here! *cuddles*

SS: Uh, yes, well... I figured a day away from base would be a good idea. Soundwave sees and hears everything, you know, and... you're the only one who really listens to my dreams of taking over the Decepticons and brutally ripping out Megatron's spark, so...

Me: O-O (That's what he wanted to go out with me for?) ... Uh, excuse me, I need to go to the ladies' room.

SS: Ah yes, go 'powder your nose', but hurry back! I still have a lot to talk about.

Me: Oh, of course!

-in the bathroom-

Me: *standing on the toilet seat, crouching down, clutching my cell phone* Y-Yes, I'm sure that's what he said, Soundwave! I've been in the bathroom for ten minutes, now please, come get me before he starts looking for me! *crying* He's scaring me!

3 walked into the bathroom while you're showering?

Me: *singing* Get out, get out, get out of my head... and fall into my arms instead...

OP: What is she doing in there? *water turns off, but I'm still singing* She sounds like she's in pain... perhaps I should check on her. *opens the door* Aisha, is everything alright in here?

Me: *climbing out of the shower* I don't, I don't, don't know what it is, but I need that one thing, yeah you've got that- *notices OP in the room* OH MY GOD! *grabs towel and tries to cover up* O-Optimus!!

OP: *trying to pretend he didn't see anything* I'm sorry! I thought you were hurt.

Me: *points to the door with the hand not using the towel to cover herself* Good-bye.

OP: I really am sorry... *leaves*

Me: Just forget it ever happened!

4 announced he's/she's going to marry 9 tomorrow?

Me: *snort* Ironhide and Breakdown? Well, it's not a bad match. They both like fighting. And they're both strong.

BD: *storms out of the other room* That's it! Wedding's off!

Me: What happened?

BD: He deliberately tried to start a fight with me! Said it's good luck! Can you believe that? *stomps off* The nerve...

IH: *comes out* Hey! Get back here! I say when this is over!

Me: ... 'Hide, it's over.

IH: ... I know.

5 cooked you dinner?

Me: Aww, Sound! You're so sweet. I can't imagine any of the others treating me like this. And I also can't believe you went to all this trouble. You really shouldn't have, you're too good to me.

Soundwave: *pulls out chair*

Me: What a gentlemech! *sits down* So, do we have a movie after this, or...?

Soundwave: *puts plate on table with his tentacles*

Me: ... This got awkward fast.

6 was lying next to you on the beach, sleeping?

Me: Ah, nice weather for our day off, isn't it, Prowl?

-snickering-

Me: Prowl? *looks over* Aw, you guys!

-Sideswipe and Sunstreaker are already gone-

Me: Great, that's just like those two. I can't believe Prowl actually activated recharge... he must be more stressed than I thought. *shakes* Prowl? Prowl, wake up.

Prowl: Hmm...? *blink* What's the matter? Did something come up? I can go back to base and- *tries to move but is stuck* Hey! What's going on?

Me: *giggles, points to his legs* Sunny and Sides strike again. You fell asleep and they buried you in the sand.

Prowl: *frown* When I get my hands on those two...

Me: Slow down, first let me see if I can get you out... *starts digging him out* You know, it would've been more their style if they added a mermaid tail and a seashell bra...

7 suddenly confessed to be part of your family?

Blitzwing: *Random* Guess vhat? I'm your big brother! *hugs me* Oooh, I love you, sis! Hehehehe! Let's go get our hair done!

Me: O.o ... My mother has some explaining to do. *looks at Blitz, who has no hair to "get done"* Fu... and so do you.

8 got into the hospital somehow?

Me: You should have known better! I thought that's what they trained you guys for.

Blurr: *nod* *pout*

Me: What happened to him anyway, Ratchet?

Ratchet: Well, he finally did it. He talked just a little too fast and overloaded his vocal processors.

Me: *snicker* How embarrassing. Can he even talk right now?

Ratchet: If he tries, it'll only make it worse. And he'll get hit with a wrench.

Me: Hey Blurr, I dare you to say something.

Blurr: *glare* *hiss*

9 made fun of your friends?

Me: ... And I know they can be annoying, but that's no excuse to call them "worthless packs of flesh and water" and then threaten to pull a Christine on them.

BD: Well, it wasn't funny. Objects in the mirror are not larger than they appear. *pout* ... They're just the right size. Insensitive little fleshbags.

Me: *pat* There there, Breakers. You know, they wouldn't have said it if you-

BD: *glare* If I WHAT?

Me: *little voice* Picked out... a smaller... sleeker... alt mode. *runs* KNOCK OUT HE'S GOING TO MARK UP MY SKIN JOB, HEEEEEEEEELP!

Number 10 gives you a bagel. Do you eat it?

Skywarp: I-I got you breakfast... i-it was terrifying, trying to... *whimper* *hands over the bagel* A-Anyway, here you go. S-Sorry if you don't like it.

Me: Thanks! *takes a bite* Aww, it's got cream cheese on it! *leaps up and hugs his wing* How'd you know? Thank you so much, sweetspark!

Skywarp: *nervous smile* A-Ah, it was nothing... y-you're welcome...

1 offers you a CD. Considering his/her tastes, do you listen to it?

Me: Huh... well, I, um, I guess it's a compliment that he wants me to broaden my musical interests. *puts CD in boombox* Hey, I know this song!

KO: Well! You have exceptional taste then.

Me: ... Shall we boogie?

KO: We shall!

-cut to me and KO dancing-

Me: When I walk in the spot, yeah, this is what I see! Everybody stops and is starin' at me!

KO: I got passion in my pants and I ain't afraid to show it, show it, show it...

Both of us: We're sexy and we know it! Whoo!

2 suddenly goes emo. How does 8 feel about this?

SS: My existence is pitiful. I am worth nothing. ALL these stellar cycles, and I haven't managed to overthrow Megatron. For spark's sake, I can't even survive a battle without losing an arm. Someone should offline me already. *crawls into the corner* Little spider, would you like to hear some poetry?

Me: Okay, now that's just sad.

Blurr: OhIagreebutitdefinitelymakesthingseasierforus, Imeanlookathimhe'sbeggingsomeonetoofflinehim, weshouldgoforit!

Me: ... I'd ask you to repeat, but I'm late for open mic at the coffee counter. *slips corset top and fingerless gloves over her regular clothes* Hey Starscream. You ready to go share our depressing, pointless poetry with the others?

SS: I'm looking forward to seeing Snake again. Every time I talk to him it makes me feel better about my life.

Me: Great. I have a new poem about the soul-sucking darkness of relationships. *leaves with SS*

Blurr: ... Ithinkwemayhaveaproblem.

10 wants money and decides to get a job at Chuck E' Cheeses. How long does he/she stay?

Me: SKYWARP? God, are you serious? All those kids? All the germs? All the social interaction? *shakes head* Well, maybe he's getting better. I guess I don't give him enough credit. *checks watch* I mean, it's been five minutes! Look how great he's doing, I bet he can-

Skywarp: *runs out of the building screaming* IT'S HORRIBLE IN THERE! TAKE ME HOME, IT'S SCARY!

Me: ... Squash all my expectations. *sigh* Come on, Warp, I'll make you some cookies when we get back.

3 told 6 he/she started his/her period.

OP: Prowl... I, er... I need to talk to you about a problem I've been having.

Prowl: Oh? What is it?

Me: *munches popcorn* This should be good.

OP: Well... *whispers into Prowl's audio sensor*

Prowl:-_-; ... How nice for you.

Me: *climbs up and hugs OP's hand* See? I told you, Optimus, you should have come to me with this. Us ladies have to stick together.

OP: *nod* Yes, you're right... *pats my head* So... what do you say to some Häagen-Dazs...

Me: And Sex in the City? Oh, I was thinking the same thing.

OP: Vanilla, chocolate, or strawberry?

Me: Hell, why choose? I have all three in the freezer, let's make a mash-up in a waffle bowl! With an entire can of whipped cream and a whole jar of cherries!

OP: And whoever gets there last has to eat an entire cup of chocolate syrup!

Me: I'll do it even if I win! *runs off*

Prowl: ... I don't even know why I listen anymore.

4 slaps 9 with a fish for going out with 7.

IH: *pulls out a giant fish and smacks Breakdown in the face*

BD: ... What was THAT for? I thought we agreed, it was a mutual decision to cancel the wedding!

IH: Oh, don't play games! THAT was because you went out on one of these human 'dates' with HIM! *points to Blitz*

BW: *Icy* Vhat? Vhat did I do? *Hothead* Stop looking at me like zat or I vill offline you! *Random* Ooh, Breakdown, for our next date, I think ze science museum is fascinating! Zere's all sorts of skeletons in zere.

Me: OH GOD, JUST... JUST NO! *wakes up* H-Huh...? Oh, phew. It was all just a dream!

BW: Skeleton now?

Me: *runs out of my house* DEAR PRIMUS, IT WASN'T A DREAM!!

5 Comes up to you wearing a big pink dress. What's your reaction?

Me: ... Uh... um... good morning, Soundwave.

SW: *nods* *walks over to the computer*

Me: *shudder* I-I knew he had secrets, but... Primus...

6 curses at 2 in German. 3 is secretly watching from behind a bush. What does he/she do?

Prowl: *as calmly as possible* Mögen alle Ihre Kinder in die Hölle geschickt werden. (May all your children be sent to hell.)

SS: W-What?! WHY WOULD YOU EVEN SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT?!

OP: *from behind the bush* Hmm... (Go, Prowl!)

Me: *walks up behind the bush eating a banana* What's going on?

OP: A Decepticon execution, that's what!

Prowl: Gehe Schlacke sich. (Go slag yourself.)

SS: SOMEONE MAKE IT STOP!

Me: *takes a bit* I didn't know Prowl spoke German. Prowl! That was not a nice thing to say!

Prowl: *coolly* So why do you think I'm saying it to a Decepticon?

7 got high.

BW: *Random* Oooooh! Ze pretty flowers und all ze colors! Look at zem all! Hahahahahahaha...! Ooh, and zere's a unicorn!

Me: *panic* Unicron?! W-Where?!

BW: Nein, silly! UNICORN! Ahahahahahahahaha! *hugs the air* Wheeeeeeeee!

Me: *deadpan* ... The only way Blitz can get high is when Random takes over. The guy is like a Cybertronian reality-repellant.

9 can't stand 1, so how does he/she get his/her revenge when he/she spills soda all over him/her?

KO: *walking along with a cup of energon* Hmm-hmm-hmm, so much to do today... *passing Breakdown* Oh, good morning... *trips and gets the energon all over BD* Whoops! I, uh, guess you'll have to get that cleaned up before it rusts. Hey, while you're at it, can you paint over a faded spot on my back struts?

BD: *optic twitch* Hey, sure... no problem, buddy.

Me: It's been tense these last few days. They've had so much work to do, and... they kind of just snap at each other now. I wonder what BD's going to do...

-later-

BD: *puts down paintbrush* There we go, I think... I got it.

KO: Oh, what would I do without you, Breakdown? You're a life saver! *walks off humming*

BD: Hehehehehehe...

KO: *walking down the hall, still humming*

Me: *kicks him in the leg*

KO: Hey! *grabs me* What was that for, skinjob?! You could have ruined my finish!

Me: Don't blame me! *wriggles* Somebody painted "Kick me" over your back struts, and you know I can't resist a challenge!

10 starts working at a bar.

Me: *walks into the bar* Ah. After a long day of writing, this is EXACTLY what I need to unwind... *sits down* Hey, barkeep! Bloody Mary, hold the Mary!

Skywarp: *turns around* Excellent choice! Oh, hi, Aisha! Heh... l-let me get your drink for you.

Me: Skywarp? What the... What are you doing at a bar?

Skywarp: Oh, I work here now. *puts down my drink*

Me: *raises eyebrow* But what about the Chuck E. Cheese's thing? Aren't you scared here too? Hell, this place should scare you even more!

Skywarp: I was scared... at first. But then I got to know the regulars! *gestures to the guy at the end of the bar* James over there, he's got an alcohol problem. He's been trying to kick it, but he comes in here every Friday night for a drink. *points to a lady* And that, that's Melissa. Her husband's got cancer, and they've got three kids, so she's in a little over head head right now. *nods to the guy in the back of the place* But George, I'm still afraid of him. He did time for pulling a knife on someone!

Me: Wow... this is a big step, Skywarp. I'm proud of you.

Skywarp: Well, these people are my friends! They're just people that have gotten a little down on their luck - like me!

George: HEY! I BETTER GET MY BEER SOON!

Skywarp: Eep! *hurries* Sure thing, George!

Me: ... This went downhill quicker than the time Soundwave served me dinner. Poor Warp.

1 comes in and tells you he's/she's pregnant from 2.

KO: *walks into my room* Aisha, can, um... can I talk to you?

Me: *turns off my music* Whoa, Doc. Sure, sure. *locks my door and sits down on the bed with him* What's the matter? Oh God, wait... it's not episode 10 yet, is it? Did Breakdown get sent on a mission to kill Airachnid?

KO: No... but what's that supposed to mean?

Me: Oh, nothing. I just... I just mean you look like you lost your best friend.

KO: Well, I think that would be better than this...

Me: What's wrong?

KO: I... it's... Aisha, I've been sparked!

Me: *gape* WHAT?!

KO: Yes! I-It was this stupid, one-time thing when Breakdown and I weren't talking, and I... I just needed to be loved! It wouldn't work with you, and - and there was nobody else who understood!

Me: *wide eyes* *blink* Oh my God...

KO: *whimper* I-I already told him, but... but he's not taking it so well.

Me: Told - wait, who's the father?

SS: *comes crashing through the door* KNOCK OUT, I SWEAR TO PRIMUS IF YOU DON'T HAVE THAT THING TERMINATED-!

KO: *tries to hide behind me* Aisha, he's taking away my right to make decisions about my own body!

Me: I don't think I should get in the middle of this...

1 breaks up with you. For what reason did he/she break up with you?

Me: B... But why? Why are you doing this, Knock Out? We... We were so happy! We were perfect!

KO: Oh, there there. It... It's not me, it's you.

Me: EXCUSE me?

KO: Look, our... our appearances just aren't compatible. I'm big, you're small, and I'm not just talking about height, you know that? I'm sexy, you're not. It... It just wouldn't work, okay? I can't keep pretending. I'm sorry, but... we can't be sparkmates. Besides, you HAVE a boyfriend...

Me: *crying* OPTIMUS! I NEED MORE ICE CREAM AND SEX! *runs away to watch Sex and the City and eat ice cream again*

KO: ... Sex? Ah, well... good to see she's getting over me quickly, I suppose...

2 is in love with 4, he/she confesses. How does 4 respond?

SS: I... can't really hide it any longer. I may have gotten Knock Out pregnant earlier, but... but it's YOU that I really love! Marry me?

IH: ... I'm giving you five seconds.

SS: *dressed in a wedding gown* Five seconds till what? Till you carry your lovely bride over the threshold, my big strong mech?

IH: *points cannons* You make very bad guesses.

Me: Damn... that's gonna leave a stain on the rug.

3 is a drug addict. What do you do?

Me: THE ONLY THING I CAN DO! Okay, everyone, here's the plan...

OP: *walks into the room* What... is this?

Me: *walks up to him and looks up* Optimus, this is an intervention. *gestures to all the others* I got everyone together because... because we're worried about you.

OP: I appreciate that you are worried, but... why, exactly?

Me: Because! *hugs his leg* Babe, I saw you with that bag yesterday. And the day before that! And the day before that. Every day this week. Look, I know other humans with this problem, okay? You're not alone. We all love you and we just want you to get better.

OP: What are you talking about?

Me: Oh for God's sake! *lets go* We all know you're addicted to cocaine, Optimus! *cries* A-And we're worried about you! We just want you to be healthy!

OP: *confused* Wha... you thought... Aisha. *picks me up* Do you know for a fact what was in those bags?

Me: N-No...

OP: It was sugar. Ratchet wanted to clean out the humans' kitchen so you weren't fueling yourselves inadequately. I volunteered to help because I want you to be healthy.

Me: *pout* *smile* *hug* I knew you were a softie, Optimus.

4 kisses 8. What's your reaction?

IH: *kisses Blurr*

Blurr: ... Okay.

Me: Wow! Good job, 'Hide, you actually managed to shut him up. Unconventional method, but it worked!

IH: Yeah, that was what I was going for. He was getting too annoying

Blurr: Whatdoyouthinkyou'redoingseriouslyImeanyoudon'tevenholdservosonthefirstdatemuchlessKISS...

Me: ... For about five seconds. Still, impressive.

Blurr: IMEANSERIOUSLYWHATKINDOFAMECHDOYOUTHINKIAM?!

6 kisses your boyfriend/girlfriend. What do you do?

Prowl: Hmm... *kisses my BF*

Me: *jaw drop* PROWL WHAT THE FRAG ARE YOU DOING?! That's my boyfriend!

Prowl: Yes. And frankly, I don't see what all your fawning is about. I expected him to use his little organic glossa.

Me: That's it! *shoves Prowl out the door* You're banned from my house, and my boyfriend's house, AND EVERYWHERE I GO until you learn to behave yourself!

Prowl: But- *door slams*

Me: *hugs my BF* Oh my God, that was horrifying.

My BF: *cheesy deep voice* Don't worry. I got you, babe.

Me: OK, that's enough of that.

7 is missing. Where do you go to look for him/her?

Me: *looking at the map* Okay, okay... he couldn't have gone far!

My BF: Didn't you tell me he turns into a jet? He could be anywhere. *looks at the map* I say we try Berlin first.

Me: He can also turn into a freaking tank. He could have gotten upset and crashed in midair... again.

8 needs a tutor. On what subject does he/she need tutoring?

Me: *points at the chalkboard* Now, repeat after me... "Mommy made me mash my M&M's."

Blurr: MommymadememashmyM&M's...

Me: *smacks desk with her ruler* DICTION, BLURR! STOP TALKING SO FAST, NO ONE CAN UNDERSTAND YOU!

9 wants to be a cheerleader. What do you say?

Me: I don't see why you refused to wear the skirt, Breakers... *through my megaphone* Okay, let me hear the cheer! With spirit this time!

BD: *grumbles* 2, 4, 6, 8, guess who I'll annihilate?

Me: Pom-poms, don't forget the pom-poms! And show some leg!

BD: I'll show some leg alright... *tries to kick me*

10 hates you, why?

Skywarp: *crying* W-W-Why did you turn the light out?

Me: I didn't mean to, Warp! I was looking for the nail on your wall so I could hang this pretty picture of an angel, and my hand slipped!

Skywarp: That picture is scary! Why would you do that to me?! You're mean! I can't believe I gave you a bagel!

Me: *hugs him, rubs his wings* I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!

1 gives you a teddy bear. Why?

Me: Knock Out? What... What happened to your finish? It looks like you stopped a train... with your face.

KO: Oh, never mind that. Happy Arbor Day! *hands me a teddy* You humans give gifts for that one, don't you?

Me: Um, no... *takes the bear and hugs it* But that was nice! Thanks, Knock Out! See, every now and then you surprise me...

KO: No problem! I have to... err... go attend to Soundwave's faceplate. Bye! *runs out*

-in Med Bay-

Megatron: Well? Did you get rid of the "obstruction"?

KO: Don't worry, Lord Megatron; I took care of it. I also may have taken care of our-

-explosion-

Me: *from far away* Aaaaaaaauuuuuuugggghhhhhhhhhh! KNOCK OOOOOOOOOUT!

KO: ... Fleshy... infestation. Ahaha... apparently they're harder to kill than cyber-roaches.

2 and 6 are fighting. What do you do?

My BF: Aren't you going to stop them?

Me: Are you serious? *is busy taking bets* You know my rhymey motto: why stop it when you can profit? *whispers to my BF* And I'm putting my money on Prowl. I love Screamer, but he never comes out of these things a winner.

-elsewhere-

Swindle: ... I... sense a disturbance in the force... someone's making money on something useless without me!

10 ignored you all the time?

Me: *walks into Skywarp's room* Warp...? *creeps over to the bed* I came to apologize for earlier. *blinks* Warp? Are you feeling okay? *pokes the blanket* Hellooooo, Skywarp? Are you still mad?

Skywarp: *walks in* Why are you talking to my pillows?

Me: *screams* SKYWARP! WHAT THE HELL! *looks at the bed* *looks back at him* I thought you were asleep!

Skywarp: W-What? Oh, that thing? Heh. I, uh, I made that to fool the monsters. I'm sleeping on the couch. Th-That way they won't find me!

Me: So... So you weren't really ignoring me?

Skywarp: Why would I do that?

Me: I thought you were still mad at me...

Skywarp: Oh. No, I-I'm over that. ... Well, um... I'm going to go to bed now.

Me: ... You leaving that there?

Skywarp: Uh-huh. Come tuck me in?

Me: *follows him, mumbling* I think I would have preferred it if you WERE ignoring me...

Two serial killers are hunting you down. What will 1 do?

KO: *swerves up onto the curb* Hurry up! If they get to you first I won't be able to fulfill my destiny and kill you myself!

Me: Well, now I don't know whether I feel safer out here with the serial killers or inside your alt mode.

KO: Just get in!

Me: Fine! *opens the door*

Serial Killer #1: Hey girlie! *grabs my wrist* Where you think you're goin'? *grins*

Me: *scream* KNOCK OUT!! *struggles*

KO: Like Pit you will! *shoots out a seatbelt and drags me in* She's the Decepticon's fleshy! Go get your own! *revs engine*

Me: *trapped in a mess of seatbelt* DRIVE, KNOCK OUT, DRIVE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!

KO: What do you think I'm trying to do?!

Serial Killer #2: *pulls a knife and aims for Knock Out*

KO: Gah! *starts driving off*

-screeeech-

Me: *weakly* W... Was that the sound of a knife... against your finish...?

KO: *growls* When we get back, you're fixing it. And then washing me.

You're on a vacation with number 2 and manage to break your leg. What does 2 do?

Me: Why would he do ANYTHING? He's the one who suggested we go bungee-jumping!

Starscream: Ah yes, well... that was quite an unfortunate incident, with your cord being a bit too long...

Me: *mumbles* Worst vacation ever. Why did I agree to this?

It's your birthday. What will 3 give you?

Me: *tearing paper off box* Optimus, you really didn't have to get me anything!

OP: I know, but... I wanted to get you something for your creation day. It's a very special day, after all. So I saw this and... well, it made me think of you.

Me: I'm so excited! *opens box* Oh, Optimus! *pulls out a DVD* Revenge of the Fallen? This is the only one in the trilogy I'm missing!

OP: Well, you have it now.

Me: You're awesome! *leaps up and hugs him* How did you know?

OP: Like I said, it made me think of you.

Me: *hugs harder* Thank you so much!

OP: *smile* Happy creation day.

You're stuck in a house that's on fire. What does 4 do?

Me: Oh my God! HELP!

IH: Hmm... wait. Was it my paranoid imagination or did that sound like-

Me: HELP! THERE'S TOO MUCH SMOKE, I CAN'T SEE!

IH: Oh Primus! It IS her! Don't worry, Aisha, I'm coming! *runs* *attaches his cannon to a fire hydrant* *tries to shoot water* Argh, it's not working! Slag it all!

Me: *gets hit by a falling beam* *collapses* I-Ironhide... *can barely breathe*

IH: *reaches in 'cause he's fireproof* I'm here! *feels around and grabs me out* Aisha! Are you alright? Slag, I need to get you to Ratchet! *runs again*

Me: *cough* *opens one eye* W... Was any of that supposed to help?

You're about to do something that'll make you feel extremely embarrassed. What will 5 do?

Me: *walks out of the bathroom* Ooh, I hear them playing that new P!nk song. I think I've finally had enough, I think I maybe think too much, I think this might be it for us...

Soundwave: *reaches behind me*

Me: *blush* S-Soundwave! What are you doing?!

SW: *pulls on something* Femme: may now return to festivities.

Me: *looks back* Huh? I had my dress tucked into my pantyhose? Whew! Thanks, Soundwave. That would have been embarrassing. I'm lucky it was you instead of Knock Out!

You're about to marry number 10. What's 6's reaction?

Minister: Do you, Aisha Ishtar, take this mech, Skywarp, as your lawfully wedded husband, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to have and to hold, as long as you both shall live?

Me: *grins at Skywarp* Oh, I most definitely do! C'mon, Warpy, pucker up and kiss your lovely young bride!

Skywarp: I... I-I don't know. C-Commitment scares me...

Prowl: *turns to Jazz* I always cry at weddings.

Jazz: Then how come ya ain't cryin'?

Prowl: I said I cry at weddings. This is a train wreck.

Jazz: Amen. Ah give 'em a week.

Prowl: I give them five minutes. But they have my blessing - maybe he'll take her to a new home. Far, far away.

You got dumped by someone. How will 7 cheer you up?

Me: I-It's not fair! I loved him!

Blitz: *Icy* That mech didn't deserve you. You said he fooled around, didn't you? *Hothead* Und he did it more zan once, vith different femmes! I'll hunt him down und gut him like a cyber-fish! If I don't pound his thick helm into ze ground first! *Random* Ooh-hoo! Aisha, I know how to make you feel better! Let's go for a ride. *transforms* Hop in! Ve have lunch in Texas, then fly back und be home in time for dinner! Eh? Eh?

Me: I don't want to! *cries*

Blitz: *still Random* Ooh! She's really upset. Come on, liebe, don't cry over zat loser! Now turn zat frown upside-down und zose tears inside-out, or I might have to sing!

Me: What could you possibly sing that could make me feel ANY better?

Blitz: *still Random* Good girl! So good for him! Better back avay, honey, you don't know vhere he's beeeeeeeen! Whyyyyyyyyy-

Me: *giggles* I... guess that made me feel a little better.

Blitz: *still Random* Yippee-ki-ay! Now let's go, hmm?

Me: *sigh* You really want to go to Texas, don't you?

Blitz: *still Random* I thought you'd never ask!

You're angry about it afterwards, how does 8 calm you down?

Me: *slams a datapad down* He's just such a jerk! He doesn't care that he broke my heart, and you know what kills me? He's out there, doing it to OTHER girls! God!

Blurr: Comeondon'tbelikethatyoucan'tgivehimthesatisfactionofmakingyouupsethedoesn'tevendeservethat.

Me: I know, you're right. But it's just so hard... I mean... God, I never thought I'd be in this position, you know?

Blurr: Nobodyeverdoes. Don'tblameyourselfforsomethingyouhavenocontrolover.

Me: I guess you're right.

Blurr: Alwaysam. Nowlet'sgokicksomeDecepticonaftandgetridofyourpent-upfrustration.

Me: ... All I heard was "let's go kick some Decepticon aft". I'm not sure that qualifies as "calming down", but... *runs after Blurr* I call shotgun!

You're competing in some tournament. How does 9 support you?

Breakdown: Woohoo! Go on! Kick his aft! What - no, no, I can't believe you just did that! Do you know how many points that's going to cost you later?!

Me: Breakdown! This is a Yugioh tournament! *lays a card down* You can't cheer me on here! You don't cheer for people who are playing card games!

BD: Put your Big Shield guy in facedown defense position! They'll take the bait and lose like 1000 points!

Me: BREAKDOWN!! Shut up, you're going to get my ass disqualified!

You can't stop laughing. What will 10 do?

Me: Hehehehehehehehehehe...

Skywarp: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! *runs* EVERYBODY DUCK FOR COVER! SHE'S FINALLY DONE PLOTTING OUR DOOM! *dives for safety and starts shaking*

Me: Huh? *looks down* Uh, Warp? I was just laughing at this episode of American Dad I was listening to on my iPod. What's your problem?

Number 1 is all you've ever dreamed of. Why?

Me: I think the better question here is why not?! First of all, he's a doctor; he's GOT to be smart. Plus, he's sexy. And he's got a great alt mode, which is also sexy. God... he's the whole package!

KO: Yes... I really am what all the femmes lust after, aren't I? *poses in front of the mirror* Ah yes... I am very sexy. You've got it all, Knock Out, you love machine, you.

Me: -.- Get away from the mirror, Knock Out... your big head barely fits through the door as it is.

2 tells you about his/her deeply hidden love for number 9. Your reaction?

Starscream: I just... I feel so conflicted! I mean, I've stepped in love a few times, isn't that what you say, but... I think this is the first time I've ever truly fallen in it! I'm helm over heels!

Me: *snort* Yes, heels! We finally have confirmation that you're dressing in drag and getting it past the sensors. So anyway. Dude, you're messed up in the head. You took me on a date just to talk about your own ambitions, got Knock Out pregnant and tried to make him get rid of the baby, then you put on a dress, tried to marry Ironhide and got shot in the ass... who the mother could you possibly have a crush on now?

SS: Oh! *swoons* That hunk of mech Breakdown. He's got everything that other one did-

Me: I assume you mean Ironhide.

SS: - And he's a Decepticon! Ah, there's no way I'm going to get shot in the aft this time!

Me: ... That all depends. *walks toward my room*

SS: Hey! Hey, where are you going? I just poured my spark out to you about my deeply hidden love for Breakdown! Aren't you going to have some reaction, fleshy?

Me: Oh, I have a reaction. My reaction is to get my camcorder, so that when Knock Out beats the slag out of you for this, I'll have videographic evidence to show Breakers that Doc Knock really does care! Then he can never use me as a sparring partner ever again.

You're dating number 3 and introduce him/her to your parents. Will they get along?

Me: Okay, Optimus... since apparently my crappy dad is flying under the freaking radar... this is my mom. Mom, I think it's time you know... I'm dating Optimus Prime. So, uh... how are we all feeling?

OP: A pleasure to meet you, ma'am. *picks me up* Your daughter is a very special femme, and I only hope I am good enough for her. And for you, because I could never continue our relationship without your approval.

Me: *snuggles* He's all about family.

My mom: ... You turn into a truck, right?

OP: Er, yes.

My mom: And... you know Ratchet, right? *hearts*

OP: Yes, he's my chief medical officer, and a very good one.

My mom: You bring him next time, and you have my blessing. *more hearts*

Me: *clutches Optimus's finger* Let's take a drive! Like, right now!

Number 4 loves number 9 as well. What does that mean?

Me: *writing* Okay, so... let me count it up here. Ironhide, well, he and Breakdown almost got married in one question, but they called it off. Then he smacked Breakers with a fish because he was dating Blitz. Right. So, then Starscream confessed to me his undying love for Breakers. Erm, is that it...?

IH: Breakdown! Take me back, please! I'm sorry about the wedding - I can change!

Me: Apparently it MEANS this is the freaky-deakiest love triangle in the history of forever.

BD: Go away! I don't need you anymore! *closes curtains*

SS: Who was that, Breakdown?

BD: Huh? Oh... nothing. Nothing but a memory.

SS: Oh? Funny... sounded vaguely like someone I almost married once.

BD:

SS: Frag now?

Me: AND I'M LOVING THE FREAKY-DEAKINESS OF IT ALL!

Will number 5 and 6 ever kiss?

Me: Prowl and Soundwave? Huh. Good question, actually. I mean, they're both the strong, silent type... guys?

Prowl: Me? Kiss a Decepticon? Sorry, but that slag stopped with your boyfriend.

SW: Soundwave: ditto.

Me: -' I, uh, I guess that answers that.

6 appears to be a player, he/she breaks many hearts. What do you do?

Me: Prowl? I thought "that slag" stopped. *looks over at Prowl* Prowl?

Prowl: *busy teaching a Circuit-Su class* Now, you have to properly align all the energy in your body...

Femme: Can you help me, Sensei?

Prowl: *sigh* Alright, but this is the last time. *goes behind and takes her arms* Just like this... sweetspark.

Femme: *giggling mess*

Me: Um, you know... that's the same thing I'd do but... but I... I can see it...! And that's what scares me...

You had a haircut and 7 can't stop looking at you. What goes on in your mind?

Me: *humming* *taps datapad* *looks over at Blitz* Uh, Blitz, why are you staring at me?

Blitz: *Random* Oh, vas I staring? Heeheeheehee! You just look so adorable vith zat style!

Me: Um, thanks... I-I didn't think anyone noticed.

Blitz: *Icy* I notice everything.

Me: I, um, I... I-I'm gonna walk away now. Just... Just walk away.

Number 8 thinks he'll/she'll never get a boyfriend. What will you tell him/her?

Blurr: AndyouknowIwouldlovetohaveaprettyfemmebutmyjobisjusttoodemandingtoinvolvesomethingelse.

Me: *in the therapist's chair with Blurr lying on the couch* Mm-hmm. And how does that make you feel?

Blurr: WellI'mlonelyandIfeellikesomething'smissinginmylifebutlikeIsaidmyjob'stoodemandingnottomentiondangerous.

Me: Well, Blurr... I suppose you've never considered quitting this job? You know, to make time for a relationship?

Blurr: OhIcouldneverdothat. I'mpartoftheCybertronianEliteGuardwehavetoprotectthepopulace.

Me: Uh-huh. *taking notes* And so really, you're torn between your duty to the people and your own spark. Oh, and by the way, I'm afraid our time is up, unfortunately.

Blurr: IgaveyoufourenergoncubesforyoutotellmeTHAT?

Me: Come back next week, we'll explore your traumatic childhood!

Blurr: ButIdon'thavea-

Me: *slams door* Bye, Blurr!

3 ate 7. What's your reaction?

Me: Well, time to go check on the boys. *walks past Optimus's door*

Optimus: *from inside* Yes! I finally did it, I ate you, Blitzwing!

Me: O.O WHAT DA FUQ. *runs inside* Optimus! W-Where's Blitzwing?!

OP: *pressing buttons on his game controller* Did you check Germany?

Me: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I just heard you say you ate him!

OP: Huh? Oh. I'm playing a video game with him. My character's a zombie, and I finally infected his character. By biting him.

Me: *walks out* Why me...?

4 died. How?

Me: *crying* I-I didn't know him for that long, but... but... oh God...! *runs over to cry against OP*

Memorial: "The bravest of us all, Ironhide died as he lived... battling the tyranny of the Decepticons."

Me: *still crying* How much you wanna bet he'll c-come back as a ghost? That'd be just like him! *cries some more*

5 turns invisible. What does he/she do to you?

Megatron: Ahhhh, what an important Iaconian relic. I have to admit, I've no idea what it's called.. or what it does... hmm... SOUNDWAVE!

SW: Soundwave: awaiting orders.

Megs: ... Test this thing out. *hands over relic*

SW: *nod* *takes relic and turns invisible* Soundwave: ... has opportunity for revenge on human femme.

-later-

Me: *looking through my CDs* This is horrible!

KO: *walking past* What's horrible?

Me: All... all my CDs.

KO: What about them?

Me: *crying* They've been organized!! Who could have done such a thing?!

KO: That doesn't sound so bad, Aisha. It sounds like whoever it was did you a favor.

Me: A favor?! *starts going through CDs* They alphabetized my entire collection!! Now how am I supposed to FIND anything?!

6 loses memory. You have to give him/her a new memory. What do you say to him/her?

Prowl: *taps me on the shoulder* Excuse me.

Me: What do you want now? You need help removing that stick from up your aft?

Prowl: *confused* Um, no... I was just wondering if you knew who I am.

Me: You mean you don't know who you are?

Prowl: No.

Me: *evil giggling* Oh... well, in that case, just let me tell you! *puts arm around him* Your name is Prowl, but that's just your mild-mannered alter-ego. With me so far?

Prowl: I... have more than one personality? Should I be on some type of medication?

Me: No way! Because your other persona is a cyber-ninja superhero who saves the day and gets the girl every time! You are... *karate pose* The Silent Servo. Your master gave you that name because of your complete control over the amazing "Five Servos of Doom" technique!

Prowl: ... Really? I'm a superhero? I sound... interesting.

Me: *cell phone goes off* *pulls out phone* Oh my God! Silent Servo, you have to hurry! *holds up phone* Somebody's holding your best friend Bumblebee hostage!!

Prowl: What? My best friend? The fiend! Where do I go?!

Me: *writes down Capt. Fanzone's address* Here! Hurry!

Prowl: *runs off* I'M COMING TO SAVE YOU, BEST FRIEND BUMBLEBEE!!

Bumblebee: *walks up* What's he talking about?

Me: *grin* You'll find out in like an hour.

7 is having his/her baby today! What's her/his name?

Me: I dunno. His three personalities will probably fight over different names.

Blitz: *Random* Heehee, nope! Ve already decided! *rocks baby* Her name is going to be Sasha.

Me: Aw, that's a cute name. How'd you guys agree on that?

Blitz: *still Random* Ve vanted her to retain her mother's Russian heritage! Isn't zat right, cutie little Sasha? *baby talk* Zis is ze happiest day of my life!

Me: *backs away slowly* I... I don't want to know.

8 is a pervert. He's/she's coming right at you. What do you do?

Me: Oh hell no! *whips out pepper spray and hits the button*

Blurr: *scream* WhatdidyoudothatforIwasn'tevendoinganythingthattime!!

Me: PERV! *sprays*

Blurr: OW!!!! IJUSTWANTEDTOGETTHELATESTREPORTSFROMYOUI'MTELLINGRATCHETWHATYOUDID! *runs away, optics watering*

Me: *looks at pepper spray* ... Oh God, I'm slagged.

9 is going through a tough break up. How do you cheer him/her up?

Me: *hugs Breakdown's foot* Come on, Breakers. He wasn't worth your time! I mean seriously, who tries to marry your former fiance? Like, really?

BD: *crying* I know, WHO DOES THAT?

Me: Exactly!

SS: *walks in* Hello, everyone, another processor-numbing day.

Me and BD: *throw M&M's at him*

SS: Hey!

Me: Hmmph! *takes Breakdown's hand* Come on, Breakers. Let's get out of here.

BD: Yeah. Suddenly got a lot colder in here. *walks off with me*

SS: I... I don't even know what I do anymore!!

ANOTHER ONE!! From the generous "Question-Meme Generator" over at dA.

I used these 10: Knock Out, Starscream (TFP), Optimus Prime, Ironhide (movie), Soundwave (TFP), Prowl (TFA), Mirage (Dino), Blurr (TFA), Breakdown, and Skywarp (TFA).

1. Who would be a better superhero sidekick between Knock Out and Optimus Prime, and why?

Me: Hmm... well. I think Optimus would have to be the hero. That's kind of a given.

Optimus: Are you sure?

Me: Well, the other guy's a Decepticon! The most he could do on the Autobots' team would be to become your sidekick and offer plucky comic relief.

Knock Out: Hey, Optimus! That guy just scratched my paint job! *breaks out his buzzsaw* Evil-doer, PREPARE FOR SURGERY!

Me: And offer psychotic, double-entendre medical one-liners. See, it works out great. Kids would love that show.

2. Skywarp suddenly knows all your secrets. What do you have to say about that?

Me: *meep* Skywarp... you know?

Skywarp: *nod* Y-Yeah... I-I didn't mean to see it, I swear!

Me: This is the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to me... *paces* You... You won't tell anyone else, will you?

Skywarp: O-Of course not! I would never do that to you! I... I'd be too afraid of what you'd do to me if I told.

Me: *glare* Good. Be very afraid.

Skywarp: Meep! *hides*

3. What do you think about Starscream?

Me: Um...

Starscream: Think very carefully about what you're going to say, human!

Me: There's the obvious, of course... he's extremely attractive.

Starscream: That's right. *struts* Not even you, a human femme, can resist this aft... these legs... and... do I even need to say it?

Me: *deadpan* Dem heels. *excited* *runs over and latches herself onto his heels* I know he's evil and all, but he's just so damn irresistible!!

Starscream: HEY! GET YOUR FLESHY SERVOS OFF ME!!

Me: *bouncing* Wh-What is it about the phrase "HIS heels" that gets me going?! *still bouncing*

4. Does Breakdown have any pets?

Me: ... If he does...

Knock Out: Hehe... let's prepare for dissection, Breakdown, shall we?

Breakdown: *nod* *pulls out a cage* Here we go. What am I going to do?

Knock Out: Oh your job is easy. All you have to do is hold it down while I dissect.

Breakdown: *sigh* Right... here, cyber-kitty-kitty...

Me: Ahem... if he does... he hides them well.

5. What do you think about Optimus Prime?

Me: *blush* I, um... w-well... he's a great leader.

Optimus: Do you truly think that?

Me: Yeah... *still blushing* You're strong and... and you always know just what to say. And... and you care about us. If, um... if you were real... I'd wait in a line for four hours just to talk to you.

Optimus: *picks me up* You are a very kind femme. You flatter me.

Me: *hugs* W-Wow, you're holding me... *faints*

Optimus: *sigh* Well, I believe that just told your question everything it needs to know about what she thinks of me...

6. Do you think Blurr is a virgin?

Me: Hey Blurr! You want some coffee?

Blurr: *runs by now* SorrynottodayIdon'thaveanytimeI'vegottogetoveranddeliverthisclassifiedreportstoLongarmPrime! Seeyoulater!

Me: *hair now messed up from the wind* *angry pout* I think... he's a virgin. When would he have a time for a relationship? *eye twitches* And if he's not... there are femmes out there with some interesting stories.

7. Super fun fun adventure amusement park marathon with you, Ironhide and Mirage! How will it go?

Me: Ooh! I wanna go on the bumper cars first!

Ironhide: *grunt* I thought you were playing that on the way over here, with the way you were driving me. You're buffing out all these dents when we get back.

Me: Jerk. Mirage? Bumper cars?

Mirage: Ah, no! We go on the fast roller coaster. Il più veloce a fine corsa!

Me: 'As fast as it'll go'? Oh Mirage, you know I can't go on roller coasters! Do you want to be thrown up on?

Mirage: Not the finish! I'll go by myself then! *runs away*

Me: He's almost as bad as Knock Out. *looks up at Ironhide* You wanna go in the funhouse?

Ironhide: Please! That wouldn't frighten me.

Me: I know. *grabs onto his leg and shakes like Skywarp* I can't go in without a buddy.

8. Can Mirage be a bad influence?

Me: Well... I don't want to say yes...

Mirage: *speeds up* Hahahaha! Mangia la mia polvere, carne-bag!

Me: But for one, he's street racing, which even the Decepticons frown upon. For two, he just told that guy to eat his dust. And called him a flesh-sack.

Mirage: Take that! *rounds the finish line* I win! In your fleshy faces! *victory dance*

Me: And he's a sore winner. *sigh* So, I don't want to say yes...

Mirage: You are all losers!!

Me: ... But yes.

9. How would Soundwave insult Mirage?

Me: With his own words! And I mean that literally. Watch this.

Soundwave: *has Mirage pinned down* *plays a clip of Mirage speaking from the movie* On the ground, per favore, and STAY there!

Mirage: *struggling* Copione! (Copycat!)

Me: Best fight ever. No, wait, no... I think Mirage and Knock Out would be the best fight ever! But... But this is so funny too... oh God... *collapses laughing* I CAN'T BREATHE!

Mirage: DO US ALL A FAVOR AND KEEP IT UP, FLESHY FEMME!

10. What would you do if Prowl confessed love to you?

Me: *glomps Prowl* Oh my God I knew it! *kisses his cheek* I knew you couldn't resist me and my feminine wiles!

Prowl: ... *through clenched denta* How does Saturday at eight sound? *is being dared to do this*

Me: I'M GONNA HOLD YOU TIGHT AND NEVER LET YOU GO!!!

AND ANOTHER ONE. From "OC Meme Central" at livejournal.

1. Knock Out

2. Starscream (TFP)

3. Optimus Prime

4. Ironhide (movie)

5. Soundwave (TFP)

4 overhears 2 and 5 talking about him. What are they saying, and how does he react?

Starscream: ... And I believe I finally have a plan to get rid of that accursed Autobot, Ironhide. After all, he shot me in the aft in some other meme this femme did!

Soundwave: Soundwave: listening.

Starscream: Good good, now, I think the best approach would be to...

Ironhide: Sneak up on me?! LIKE I'M DOING TO YOU RIGHT NOW?! *rains bullets down on the Decepticon ship* I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW I GOT HERE, BUT WHILE I'M HERE I WILL OFFLINE AS MANY OF YOU PUNK-ASS DECEPTICONS AS I CAN!!

Me: *scream* *runs* Knock Out! Shield me with your finish!!

What is 1's least favorite thing about 3?

Knock Out: His paint job! I mean, seriously, Optimus. *walks around Optimus* You may have sweet rims, but flames? So last century. I could... fix that for you.

Optimus: *raise eyebrow* I don't think I'm interested.

Me: Yeah! Keep your kick-ass flames! Don't listen to him! He doesn't know anything about detailing!

Knock Out: *buzzsaw out* Come again, oh femme of fanfic?

Me: Meep! *hides behind Optimus* Don't let him hurt me!

4x5. Who tops?

Me: Ooh! Tough to say. Ironhide's a warrior and all, so you would think it'd be him, but Soundwave... has those tentacles.

Soundwave: Soundwave: superior. Autobot: inferior.

Ironhide: Get off me! Slagging Decepticon!

Me: *looks at camera and holds up fingers* Giant guns: 0. Naughty tentacles: over 9000.

How would 1 react to 4's taste in music/hobbies/clothing/potential mates/etc.?

Knock Out: I can't take it! *runs out of Ironhide's room* YOU HAVE NO STYLE! YOU'RE NOT PRETTY! WHERE'S MY FRAGGING MIRROR, DAMN IT?! I NEED SOMETHING PRETTY!!

Me: O.O What happened, Ironhide?

Ironhide: *shrug* I think I devised a new plan for dealing with Decepticons. Just play them your music and show them your hood ornament collection.

Me: Aw... I think you traumatized him, 'Hide.

Ironhide: Good. Then he won't come near our base ever again!

2. 3. Flat tire on the interstate. Cell phones dead. What happens?

Starscream: This is ALL your fault, Prime!

Optimus: No, it's all YOUR fault.

Starscream: My fault?! How is this MY FAULT?!

Optimus: You were the one distracting me. I didn't see that rock.

Starscream: You were shooting at me! What was I supposed to do?! Let you ground me?!

Optimus: It appears to have ended that way despite your dodging.

Starscream: Don't you tell me how to dodge! I'm a flyer, I was born to dodge aerial attack!

-elsewhere-

Me: Hehehehe... *eating chicken wings* *clicks a button and screen zooms in on Starscream's face* Maybe I should go rescue them.

Starscream: I'll take you offline right now! *shoots lasers*

Optimus: *pulls out his arm cannon* Will you?

Me: ... Right after I see who wins this shit.

What would 4 be most shocked to learn about 2?

Me: I think he'd be most shocked to learn he used to be neutral in the war. Right, Screamer?

Starscream: Key words, used to be. Oh, I may have considered joining the Autobots once or twice. But the allure of Decepticon power... well, it's too much for anyone to resist, even a mech with such strong willpower as myself.

Ironhide: Wait! You almost joined us?

Starscream: Indeed, but that foolish notion was quickly banished.

Ironhide: ... Thank Primus. *walks away to go polish his cannons*

Starscream: Hey! What's that supposed to mean?!

Me: ... I think it means you would be a terrible good guy? That you're better at being bad than good? I... I think he just complimented you.

Starscream: *blink* Well, frag me flying.

Of all five, who's the most intelligent?

Me: Ooh! Now, there's a head-scratcher. Well, Starscream is cunning and clever... but I wouldn't exactly call him intelligent.

Starscream: WHY?!

Me: Because half the time you just manage to lose a limb or spring a leak. On the other hand, Knock Out's a doctor, so he's got to be somewhat intelligent.

Knock Out: Haha. I win, fleshies.

Me: BUT, since he's better at taking things apart than actually fixing them - and he's a narcissistic little pixie - I say he's out too.

Knock Out: *buzzsaw* Sleep with one little organic optic open...

Me: *gulp* And while Ironhide is good with battle plans, I have a feeling that if he took over while Ratchet was on vacation, poor Ratchet would come back to a Med Bay full of broken patients.

Ironhide: Well, aren't you a nice little processor-damaged human?

Me: *gets far away from his cannons* So it comes down to Optimus and Soundwave. And, Optimus, as much as I love and respect you, and think you're a great leader and just wonderful... I have to give this one to Sounders.

Optimus: *nod* I hold no hard feelings, but... I believe your audience might want to know why?

Me: Because he can hack into every computer on the planet except for yours, without getting caught. Got to take some serious skills. Not to mention... he knows everyone weakness. *grin* Except mine!

Soundwave: Soundwave: knows.

Me: Oh yeah? Then what's my weakness?

Soundwave: *holds up a bar of chocolate* Femme: jump for it.

Me: AH! *jumps for it* CHOCOLAAAAAAAAATE!

Who has a better chance of solving a Rubik's Cube: 1 or 2?

Me: Well, Starscream would probably have a pretty good chance of solving it...

Starscream: Ha! *holds up incomplete Rubik's Cube* I unlocked the key to the universe! All hail Starscreeeeeam!

Me: ... If, um, if he actually understood how it worked. I think Knock Out has the better chance of solving it. See? *point*

Knock Out: Hmm-hmm-hmm... *makes one last twist* There we go. All symmetrical, matching, and pretty as a picture. Did you want this back, Aisha?

Me: Oh no. Decorate Med Bay with it! I'm sure your patients will enjoy looking at it while you're... doctoring... them. Hehehehehe.

Knock Out. *pats my head* Hear the evil laughter and the medical barbs? I've taught her well.

Whose death would upset 5 more - 3's or 4's?

Me: Huh, lots of good questions on this meme. *looks over* Soundwave?

Soundwave: Soundwave: does not care about Autobots going offline.

Me: Uh... *watches as he walks away* Right. Um, well, I think if he HAD to pick one, he'd be more upset over Optimus's death. You know, leader of the Autobots - Megatron wouldn't get to kill him, and Soundwave lives for Megatron. Did that make any sense...? XD

Soundwave: *from far away* Femme: never makes sense.

What is 1's ideal Pokemon team?

Me: *glares at Knock Out* I bet you don't even have any idea what Pokemon is, do you?

Knock Out: It's one of your human... something-or-other.

Me: Tv show. Card game. English dub sucks.

Knock Out: ... That could be said for several things...

Me: So what would your dream team for the game be?

Knock Out: Well, isn't it obvious? *puts a hand on his hip and flings out a hand* All the beautiful ones, of course! I would never surround myself with anything less than utter beauty. Which reminds me... *point* What are you doing here?

Me: *hiss* Watch it, pretty boy.

5 has a camera and two shots left. What does he take pictures of?

Me: I think that's pretty obvious. Right, Soundwave?

Soundwave: Soundwave: photographs targeted technology and Autobots' human allies.

Me: That's what he always does! He's so sneaky. And when he gets back to base, he'll switch it out for another camera.

Soundwave: Camera: with more memory.

Me: You bet your sparkplugs! *hug*

3 treats 2 to a movie. What kind of movie to they see?

Me: *snort* Umm, a kid-friendly animated comedy illustrating the fact that bad guys always lose?

Starscream: *comes running out of the theater* I CAN'T TAKE THE OPTIC-BURNING IMAGEEEEEEEES! WAAAAAAAAH! *bridges back to the ship*

Me: Optimus! What the hell did you take him to see?

Optimus: You mentioned something about a certain children's show last week that he might be terrified of.

Me: ... Optimus. What. Movie?

Optimus: "My Little Pony".

Me: ... You just broke my brain. Thank you, have a nice day, I should go find Screamer.

4 has been drinking a bit... Who is more attractive to him: 2 or 3?

Me: Lol. Ironhide getting tipsy? Wowee! I mean, I could imagine him getting drunk, but...

Ironhide: *strokes Starscream's arm* So, you come here often, cutie?

Me: Uh-oh... methinks something's not right with the universe...

Starscream: *picks up a cup of energon* No. I only came for drinks.

Ironhide: Yeah? Yeah, I hear you, baby. Now... Now I learned this from one of my human friends so... I might get it wrong, but... *gets closer* I lost my number, can I have yours? *grabs at Starscream's chest* Hey... Hey, where are your breastplates?

Me: *tries to stop laughing* OH - OH - OH MY GOD BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Starscream: *shrieks* *runs past me* YOU'RE NOT MY TYPE! AND I'M NOT A FEMME!

Me: That's what you get for wearing high heels!

If something happened to one of 5's close friends, who would he be more likely to go to for support - 4 or 1?

Me: Well, that's 'Hide or Knock Out... I think Knock Out. Just because of the whole "they're both Decepticons" thing, you know.

Soundwave: Soundwave: does not have close friends. Soundwave: has annoyances.

Me: .

2's password for his email account is/would be...

Me: You know, I actually have no idea. *waves to the cameraman* Come on, let's go find out! *sneaks into Starscream's room* *peeks in* *whisper* Oh good, he's on his computer. Zoom in and increase your audio.

Starscream: *vents, clicks on something* Well, another lousy day of listening to Megatron glitch at everyone... let's see if I've gotten anything in my electronic mailbox. *types* "Username... Lord_Starscream... at msn(dot)com. Password... 'allhail2me'." *click*

Me: *looks at the camera* *whisper* You guys, you really should have known.

5 is poking around 4's room. What object catches his attention?

Me: Well, let's have a look.

Soundwave: Soundwave: must find evidence. *searching* *moves something and finds... a giant gun* Soundwave: ... must return to base.*transforms and flies away*

1 would have a blog dedicated to...

Me: Hey! I actually read a fanfic about this once!

Knock Out: What? About me having a blog?

Me: Yeah! It was called "Stay Fabulous" or something like that. Focused on relationship advice because clearly you're the expert on that. I think you may have referred to yourself as the "Love Doctor".

Knock Out: *suggestive grin* *runs a claw down my side* I think you're in need of a... check-up.

Me: O.O ... Help.

4 admits that 2 is better at something than he is... What is it?

Ironhide: Yeah, you're better at being a lying, sneaking, thieving, evil Decepticreep! *shoots*

Me: Oh my God! *ducks* Run Starscream! RUN LIKE YOU'RE NOT WEARING HEELS!

All five read Twilight. What are their opinions on it?

Me: OMG. I read that a long time ago. I thought it was okay, but there are better things I like now. Guys? Your input?

Knock Out: *sobbing* I-It's the greatest love story ever written! D-Do you remember the way Edward snuck into Bella's bedroom every night just to watch her sleep?! *crying* I wish someone did that for ME!

Me: ... You may get your wish tonight... *excited*

Starscream: I can't see how you human femmes - and Knock Out - read things like this. *holds the book up* Come on, where's the betrayal plot? Someone should be plotting to stab someone in the back struts! *tosses it down*

Me: Easy, Screamer! Not everyone likes the same things.

Optimus: It was... interesting. Some parts were very... romantic. If I must be honest with you, I find the prospect rather frightening.

Me: You do?

Optimus: Well, yes. If I was introduced to a creature that eats things like me, the last thing I would do is swap paint with it.

Me: *snicker* Optimus said "kiss". Your thoughts, 'Hide?

Ironhide: Whoever wrote this must have been out of their processor. There's no action in it! It's just two younglings looking at each other - one of whom isn't even human - and drama.

Me: Oh, give it a chance, 'Hide. That's only the first one!

Ironhide: You mean there are MORE? *cocks his cannons* I'll destroy them all!

Me: ... S-Soundwave? Something positive would be nice!

Soundwave: ... Soundwave: has a confession.

Me: Oh? What's that?

Soundwave: Soundwave: ... is already on Team Edward. Soundwave: ... is also on Team Bella.

Everyone: ...

MORE MEMES!! (This one's also from OC Meme Central.)

1. Starscream (TFP)

2. Optimus Prime

3. Prowl (TFA)

4. Soundwave (TFP)

5. Knock Out

6. Ratchet

7. Mirage (Dino/from DOTM)

8. Skywarp (TFA)

9. Bumblebee

10. Sideswipe

What would #8 say to you if he/she became real?

Skywarp: Ah! A human! *shields himself and starts shaking* D-Don't hurt me! Please! Don't dig your sharp little fangs into my armor!!

Me: *looks up* OK, what lies has Ramjet been telling you this time? *points to mouth* Do these LOOK like fangs to you?

Skywarp: Ahhhh! *faints*

Me: ... Scrap.

What does #7 do for fun?

Mirage: Ah... I love to race the humans. It is so funny, because they think they can best me.

Me: *typing* Last week you lost to an Aston Martin. You're a Ferrari, and you lost to an Aston Martin, Mirage. Even Sideswipe doesn't beat you!

Mirage: *hiss* That was Knock Out! That does not count! He cheats!

Me: *snort* Now now, pot, what have I told you about calling the kettle black?

What is #4's life-long dream?

Soundwave: Life-long dream: to serve Lord Megatron.

Me: And that's why we love you! *hugs* You big strong silent gladiator you!

Does #1 have any special talents / powers/ abilities?

Me: Oh yes! We call him Captain Backstabber. Can you guess why? :D Go on, guess!

Starscream: I've done nothing to you, femme!

Me: Not true. Remember last week, when you let me take the helm of the Nemesis for like five minutes and because of your back-seat driving, I crashed us? You blamed me when you were the one reaching over and grabbing the wheel and telling me I was doing it wrong!!

Starscream: Oh come on! So what? Lord Megatron already hates you! If I want to stay in his good graces, I must not do anything wrong!

Me: *crosses arms* Hate. You.

Why is life so good for #10?

Sideswipe: Why is life so good? You're seriously asking ME that? Well, if you must know, it's because... *slices through Sideways like a pizza* Damn, I'm good.

Me: Wooohooo! Sideswipe yeah! You're good alright! Good and sexay! *fans herself*

Why does #2's life suck?

Me: I can't imagine why your life would suck, Optimus! *straightens up* I mean, you're the leader of the Autobots and you rock! Is there anything even remotely bad about your life?

Optimus: My brother formed the Decepticons, I had to kill him, he came back to life, he killed me, then I came back to life, then I took the Fallen's face, then Sentinel came to Earth, then he shot Ironhide, then he joined Megatron, then he ripped my arm off, then I had to kill Megatron again. And the humans are, as Ironhide puts it, "total slagheads".

Me: ... Okay... w-well, the good in your life has to outweigh all the-

Optimus: Maybe you didn't hear me. My mentor. Ripped. My arm. Off.

Me: ... Noted.

What is #3 most afraid of?

Me: Yeah, Prowl, what ARE you afraid of? You don't seem to have any fears. *flipping pages in her book* And I would know. I keep very thorough records. *taps a picture of him as a sparkling* Very thorough.

Prowl: I'm afraid...

Me: *leans in* Yeah yeah yeah?

Prowl: ... of Bumblebee. And his obnoxious MP3 player.

Me: I KNEW IT I KNEW IT! DID I NOT CALL IT?!

If you could have any trait in common with #9, what would it be?

Me: Well... I've always thought he was very... accommodating? He tries to make people feel comfortable... whereas I tend to usually just make them feel awkward.

Bumblebee: Aww, really? Thanks!

Me: Haha, just kidding. I WANT TO AUGMENT MY BODY AND HAVE STINGERS LIKE YOU!! WAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Bumblebee: ... And you people wonder why she scares me!

By using only three words, describe #6.

Me: Only three words, huh? For Ratchet? Okay, let's see... the first one has got to be temperamental.

Ratchet: Hey! You try staying in a good mood when all your patients don't have the first clue on how not to end up in Med Bay!

Me: Second one is... rigid.

Ratchet: Well, look, I have a very specific set of rules for Med Bay! All I ask is that you follow them so you're healthy... and I won't have to take a wrench to your head!

Me: And the third is... talented.

Ratchet: Okay, well now you're just being... wait wait, what? Did you just say talented?

Me: *grin* You may be a temperamental, rigid old medic, but you're good at what you do. *hug* We all love you!

What would #5's theme song be?

Me: Oh, oh, I've thought this out! *pushes button on her boombox* *starts dancing* OHHH! Do ya know whatcha got into? Can ya handle what I'm 'bout ta do? 'Cause it's about to get rough for you! I'm here for your entertainment! I betcha thought I was soft and sweet - you thought an angel swept you off your feet! But I'm about to turn up the heat - I'm here for your entertainment!

Knock Out: Ah, "For Your Entertainment" by Adam Lambert. Good taste, for a human.

Who would you rather “get to know better”: #1 or #7?

Me: Hmm, Starscream or Mirage? Oh wow. Damn, that's a hard choice! I mean, they would both be a great experience. Starscream's a jet, which gives you a chance to join the mile-high club. But Mirage is a freaking Ferrari, which... you know what, 'nuff said for that. Starscream's probably like supersonic speed... and Mirage, well, there's nothing better than a fast car. They're both amazingly hot, too.

Starscream: She's going to choose me, puny Autobot! The heels have ascended to hypnotic meme status.

Mirage: Pfft! In your dreams. She wouldn't pick you if you were the last mech on Cybertron.

Starscream: Oh? And what makes you so sure she'd choose you?

Mirage: Two words. 1, Italian. 2, accent. You don't have a sexy accent. You sound like a robot ate Orochimaru and washed him down with a shot of tequila.

Starscream: Oh yeah? Well, you sound like Francesco Bernoulli got zapped into this world and the trip was so traumatic it dropped his voice two octaves!

Me: SHUT UP! You know what, guys? It's a tie. You're both equally sexy as hell.

Mirage: ... Alright then. Hey, look, I'm sorry about what I said, eh? I get defensive when it comes to this stuff.

Starscream: Hey, that's alright. Sorry for comparing you to a Cars character, mech. You wanna go get a beer?

Mirage: Eh, sure. I could use a drink. *walks off with his competition*

Me: *looks back* *whisper* But if you REALLY made me choose, I'd go with Mirage. Just because he's an Autobot. And have you seen those wrist blades in action? Ooh, mama!

Who do you think looks better in pink: #4 or #9?

Me: Soundwave or Bumblebee? In pink? Ffffff... *trying not to laugh looking at them*

Bumblebee: Hey, what's the matter with her?

Soundwave: Femme: ... has finally crashed. Megatron: will not be pleased. Autobot: fix it.

Bumblebee: I-I don't have any idea how to fix it! I thought YOU were supposed to be this all-mighty intel guy!

Me: *laughing* Well, I... have a hard time picturing Soundwave painted pink. But, I once saw a picture on dA of someone's OC with Waspinator, and she looked VERY like Bumblebee. Like, almost exactly. But with breastplates, and she was pink. And it actually looked pretty good. So... I'm gonna have to go with Bumblebee.

Bumblebee: Huh? ME painted pink? *transforms* DON'T GET ANY IDEAS! *drives away*

Me: BUT YOU'D BE SEXY!!

Who would be a better personal body guard: #2 or #8?

Me: That's between Optimus Prime and Skywarp... oh God. I-I'm sorry, but I don't think it's any competition.

Optimus Prime: So who do you choose?

Me: *giggle snort* I'm sorry, Skywarp, but... I really wouldn't feel very safe with you. You jump if you see your own shadow. And he's... well, he's... leader of the freaking Autobots. So sorry, I'm gonna have to go with Optimus on this one.

Skywarp: *pout* Th-That's okay... I-I wouldn't want to be your bodyguard anyway. You got attacked by serial killers in the first meme! *flies off* S-Sorry, but I'm outta here! You're a trouble magnet!

Me: ... Well, OP, you got the job.

Optimus: I'm flattered that you trust me. (What have I just gotten myself into...?)

Who would you rather have as a sibling: #5 or #10?

Me: ... Knock Out or Sideswipe, huh?

Sideswipe: You just watch, Decepticon. She's gonna pick me. She loved my Mexican standoff with the Dreads in DOTM. She can't resist me.

Knock Out: *sigh* Yes, but we're picking siblings. As in, if you were her brother and acted on her urges, she'd be arrested for incest.

Me: I got it! I want Knock Out to be my brother.

Sideswipe: *pout* WHY?!

Me: *pats hair* Because he could give me a makeover. We'd have so much fun doing girl stuff together.

Knock Out: I knew it! Now, the big dance is coming up, so your dress...

Sideswipe: *crosses arms* Fraggin' glitch.

Who would you rather trust with your most prized worldly possession: #3 or #6?

Me: My computer?! *holds it to her chest* Neither one of them's getting it! Over my dead body... maybe!

Ratchet: Was that a challenge? *twirls wrench*

Me: *gulp* If I had to pick one, I'd pick Prowl.

Ratchet: *growl* Why? Don't you trust me?

Me: Prowl would look after it. He wouldn't do experiments on it. He wouldn't think it's a Decepticon in disguise. He wouldn't get mad when the internet wouldn't load and break it with a wrench.

Ratchet: ... Maybe, uh, maybe it'd be better that he take it.

here is the property (as far as i know) belongs to A'isha Ishtar! (claps*)

When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then sit back and enjoy while others try to figure out how you do it.

I know it sounds like I'm in denial. But I'm not.

I have decided to be indecisive

Some people are like slinkies... They're not much to look at, but you can't help but smile as they fall down the stairs!!

If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time , Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it " In".

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks , Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity .

Send This E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile!

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile

If you think being unique is cooler than being cool copy this into your profile

If you have ever looked at something that wasn't there when somebody said "Look its _", copy onto profile

On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down. (Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldn't that save more time?)Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. (One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children. (hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)

On a string of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. (but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. (somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands. (Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

if yuo can raed tihs, you hvae a sgtrane mnid, too.
Can you raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs psate it.

Quotes:

(None of them are mine. All from anime. You guys may know a lot of them.)

(WARNING: THERE ARE A LOT OF QUOTES AND WILL ADD MORE)

Meaningful:

"Swift like the Wind, Quiet Like The Forest, Invade like Fire, Formless like the Shadows, Immovable like a Mountain, Strike like Lightning."

"Never give up."

"When people are protecting something truly precious to them, they truly can become... as strong as they need to be!"

"To live is to die, to die is to live. Pure is unpure, unpure is pure."

"Those who use others are stupid, but those who get used are stupider."

"To know what is right and choose to ignore it is the act of a coward."

"A dropout will beat a genius through hard work."

"I am strong because I have people to protect."

"You know why big brothers are born first? To protect the little ones that come after them."

"If he rips my arms off, I'll kick him to death. If he rips my legs off, I'll bite him to death! If he rips my head off, I'll stare him to death! And if he gouges out my eyes, I'll curse him from beyond the grave!"

"Those who betray rules are trash... but those who betray their comrades are worse than trash."

"I am sane. It's this world that's crazy."

"The circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant, but it's what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are."

"Our motto on our hard days of training "To be stronger than yesterday" If I have to, I'll be stronger than a half day ago, even a minute ago."

"The true measure of a shinobi is not how he lives but how he dies. its not what they do in life but what they did before dying that proves their worth..."

"The world cannot be changed with pretty words alone."

"One guy is killed for killing another and then he's killed for killing him. How is that kind of twisted thinking ever gonna bring us peace?"

"Strength that knows no boundaries is merely violence."

"As long as there is trust, there is betrayal."

"In order to escape a road of solitude, one has to work hard, and forge a new path with their own power!"

"In the end there is no greater motivation than revenge"

"True Change cannot be made if it is bound by laws and limitations, predictions and imagination"

"If strength is justice, then is powerlessness a crime?"

"I don't think anyone is born knowing the reason why they're here, its just something you have to find as you go along"

"When it melts, what does snow become? It becomes ... spring!"

"There's no meaning to a flower unless it blooms."

"I want to believe that memories, even sad and painful ones, should not be forgotten forever."

"If you want to know the truth, you must have the courage to accept it."

"We are all like fireworks. We climb, shine, and always go our separate ways and become further apart. But even if that time comes, let's not disappear like a firework, and continue to shine forever."

"A brat who is afraid to be hurt isn't qualified to love someone."

"If the king doesn't move, then his subjects won't follow."

"Problems that cannot be solved do not exist in this world."

"I'm not sure why I've decided to do this. I'm not any stronger than I was, and nothing else has changed. But all the same, this time I'm not going to run away. It's okay to feel weak sometimes. It's okay to be afraid. The important thing is that we face our fears. That's...that's what makes us strong."

"life sometimes deals you a bad hand and you make a lot of mistakes along the way but as long as you believe in your self and walk along your chosen path with a smile everything will be alright."

"Why do humans always look to the sky? Why do you try so hard to fly when you don't have any wings?"

"It's not that you can't its that you think you can't."

"Others are others, I am myself!"

"How can I call myself Hokage, if I can't even save ONE friend."

"A hero always arrives late."

"Don't look back. If you got something to do, then only look forward."

"... if you let the fly live, the spider is going to die. You can't save both without one suffering..."

"Shining brightly, even for a split second, is better than living a dull-grey life for eternity."

"We humans are just made to be greedy I guess. But there are some of us who can resist the greedy temptations and desires of our hearts."

"Even without clocks, the sun will still rise."

"True friends maybe hard to leave, but they are impossible to forget."

"Even if your past turns out to be a tragedy, and it causes you terror. I will always accept you with my heart and soul."

Funny:

-"You need to set up the right atmosphere for a woman..."
-"Atmosphere as in clouds and stuff...?"

"We just witnessed a classic example of what I call miss directed rage, I believe the technical term is being an ass."

"So tell me, what's it like living in a constant haze of stupidity?"

"I can't whistle so i just say the words wheet-whoo."

"All old people know each other. Don't you know that?"

"I'm not a nerd, I'm a specialist."

"If i get reincarnated... i wanna become a clam."

"Yesterday, I had the most TERRIFYIN' experience! ...Last night, I was all alone in my room... when outta nowhere... CAME THE SMELL OF A FART THAT WASN'T MINE!"

"Don't tell me he wants to conquer the world? Can't he come up with something more original?"

"You're a team player, a save the day superhero. I hate people like you."

"Sorry I'm late. I got lost on the road of life."

"The letters I've written before are all blackmail to people. I'm not sure if I know how to write a real letter."

"Sanity? Sorry, but I don't remember having such a useless thing in the first place."

"Underneath this mask... is... another mask!"

"It's irrational. It's impossible. It's against my religion."

"Pain is nothing. It's death that concerns me."

"Oh, how could I forget, you have a thing for Dead Girls!"

"I don't like it, it smells girly!"

"They were traps? I thought they were attractions."

"Okay, here's the plan: We go in, start hitting people, and see where it takes us."

"Look deep into my eyes and accept my sincere apology! Also notice my handsome manly features."

"Stress makes you bald, but it's stressful to avoid stress, so you end up stressed out anyway, so in the end there's nothing you can do."

"A life without gambling is like sushi without wasabi"

"When a woman says something’s cute, a man just can’t trust it"

"It doesn't matter who they are, I won't forgive anyone who tries to stand out more than me."

"I'm telling you this because you don't get it, you think you get it, which isn't the same as actually getting it. Get it?"

"Do you have any idea how stupid we are? Don't underestimate us!!!"

"You have a swimsuit tan. You could jump in the pool naked and no one would know you weren't wearing anything."

"Stop making me repeat myself! Its bad for my health!"

"Don't talk, it makes you sound stupid."

"Please don't worry, Mister, I only came here to obliterate you- not rob you."

"If you die, I'll kill you!"

"That's some good advice. Maybe I should write that down, frame it, and stick it up on my wall."

"The past is the past... and the future is the future. A man is a man, and a woman is a woman. I am who I am, and you are who you are. Like it really matters anyway..."

"There are three things I hate the most: Kids, pets, & women with additude. So tell me, why do we have all of them packed into our ship!?"

"Thou Shalt not Kill! What the hell kind of a churchman are you!?"

"I'm not going there to die. I'm going to find out if I'm really alive."

"I came to laugh at you!"

Love:

"Loving a person isn't about logic or reason."

"Even if I lose this feeling, I'm sure that I'll just fall in love with you all over again."

"If you love someone, he could make you sad. He could even make you feel lonely sometimes. But that someone can also make you happier than you'll ever be..."

"If I can be with you when the world ends, it'll be enough for me!"

"The woman I love as I see her sink in the same darkness I am in, what damn things might happen in the future... the future that you guys want, I don't care about that. From now on, whatever happens, I'll protect this person."

"After all.. love is all about timing... If you don’t say the right thing at the right moment no matter how much fate was involved in the relationship, everything will be ruined. Even if you regret it, it’ll be too late."

"Don't bother coming to the darkness that you don't need to see... I don't want to show you the darkness that doesn't belong to you... Don't let yourself be hurt so much anymore... Rather, let me be your strength."

"Unless I grip the sword, I cannot protect you. While gripping the sword,I cannot embrace you."

"Because she learned about happiness, she feels lonely for the first time. And because she knows unhappiness, she understands happiness for the first time."

"It doesn't matter how much time passes. When you lose a loved one, you never forget it! And you never get over the loneliness!"

"Don't choose death in order to protect her,No matter what happens, you must live to protect her."

Non-Anime Quotes:

Meaningful:

"It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives."

"They say it takes a minute to meet someone special, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, and a lifetime to forget them."

"Sometimes the only thing you're looking for, is the one thing you can't see."

"Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it's letting go that makes us stronger."

"You can close your eyes to things you don't want to see, but you can't close your heart to things you don't want to feel."

"In good times and bad times i'll stay by your side forever more, that's what good friends are for."

"A real friend is someone who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."

Funny

"Every time you hold in a fart, you're that much closer to killing a baby!"

"The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on."

"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not."

"Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers."

"There are no stupid questions, just stupid people."

"There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy. Her heart."

"Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!"

"Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?"

"If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?"

"I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places."

"The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do."

"When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room."

"Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid."

"Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from."

"The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory."

"Guys: No Shirt, No Service - Gals: No Shirt, No Charge."

"I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants."

"Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain."

"You laugh because I'm different...I laugh cause I just farted!"

"Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together."

"After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, 'No hablo ingles'."

"Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling."

"I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was 'You'll never find anyone like me again!' I'm thinking, 'I should hope not! I don't want you, why would I want someone like you?'"

"Happiness is like peeing yourself, everyone can see it but only you can feel it's warmth."

"It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip ,em the bird."

"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing."

"He who laughs last didn't get it."

"Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film."

"One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures."

"If you die in elevator be sure to press the up button."

"Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'?"

"You know the speed of light;so what is the speed of dark?"

"When life gives you lemons make grape juice, then sit back, relax and let the world wonder how you did it."

"When life gives you lemons, throw them back and demand chocolate."

"When life gives you lemons, throw them at the mean people and hope it gets them in the eyes."

"Cheese will rule do not deny the truth."

"Everyday I think people can't get any stupider. Everyday I am proven horribly wrong."

"One by one penguins steal my sanity, but since when have I been sane?"

"I've been given sugar. Please use this time to prepare for the end of the world."

"Come join the dark side, we have cookies!"

"What you call stupidity, I call selective understanding."

"Randomness is an idiots greatest gift."

"I cried today, not because i missed you, or even wanted you, but because I finally realized i'm fine without you."

"When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; 'Who's ass am I kicking babe?'"

Death of an Innocent

I went to a party, Mom,
I remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom,
So I drank soda instead.
I really felt proud inside, Mom,
The way you said I would.
I didn't drink and drive, Mom,
Even though the others said I should.
I know I did the right thing, Mom,
I know you are always right.
Now the party is finally ending, Mom,
As everyone is driving out of sight.
As I got into my car, Mom,
I knew I'd get home in one piece.
Because of the way you raised me,
So responsible and sweet.
I started to drive away, Mom,
But as I pulled out into the road,
The other car didn't see me, Mom,
And hit me like a load.
As I lay there on the pavement, Mom,
I hear the policeman say,
"The other guy is drunk," Mom,
And now I'm the one who will pay.
I'm lying here dying, Mom...
I wish you'd get here soon.
How could this happen to me, Mom?
My life just burst like a balloon.
There is blood all around me, Mom,
And most of it is mine.
I hear the medic say, Mom,
I'll die in a short time.
I just wanted to tell you, Mom,
I swear I didn't drink.
It was the others, Mom.
The others didn't think.
He was probably at the same party as I.
The only difference is, he drank
And I will die.
Why do people drink, Mom?
It can ruin your whole life.
I'm feeling sharp pains now.
Pains just like a knife.
The guy who hit me is walking, Mom,
And I don't think it's fair.
I'm lying here dying
And all he can do is stare.
Tell my brother not to cry, Mom.
Tell Daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven, Mom,
Put "Daddy's Girl" on my grave.
Someone should have told him, Mom,
Not to drink and drive.
If only they had told him, Mom,
I would still be alive.
My breath is getting shorter, Mom.
I'm becoming very scared.
Please don't cry for me, Mom.
When I needed you,
you were always there.
I have one last question, Mom.
Before I say good bye.
I didn't drink and drive,
So why am I the one to die?