Age:14(Not that it really matters anymore.)

CodeName:Darktail
Real Name*Classified*
Personal Quotes:"Don't dwell on the past,learn from it." "I don't care who you are,you'll never hurt my friends and I'll kick your ass!"

Likes:Reading,Video Games,Anime,Sonic The Hedgehog,being around Neko-chan,and just being myself.

Dislikes:people who are jerks,douchebags who flame others work,and people who think their better than everyone,also people who are critics and don't have work of their own,Pompous Rich kids(See people who think their better than every one.), (This next one is gonna piss people off,but I'm going to speak my mind on this):Twilight,I mean honestly,what's the freakin' point? Vampires aren't supposed to sparkle,they're killers who should be badass,not little fucking nancy boys who sparkle!Hell,look at Dracula he's the most badass vampire ever to exist and he would be ashamed to see today's vampires,because Eward Cullen is a little bitch and should have never existed!

If anyone can give me suggestions for naruto fanfics I will greatly appreciate

I am now out of school and now have a awesome laptop. I also had a 2 stories I was going to upload but my bitch teacher being her usually asshole self saw them and threw them away.

I'm working on rewriting "The Fox and The Raven" It's A NarutoxFem Sasuke fic and I hope it turns out as a good story.

Favorite bands:A7X,Three Days Grace,Disturbed,Psychostick,Hollywood Undead,etc.

Favorite couples:NarutoxFem Sasuke(For some wierd reason.),NarutoxSakura,Narutoxfem Kyuubi,etc.

Friends or best friends

FRIENDS: Never ask anything to eat or drink

BEST FRIENDS: Help themselves and is the reason you never have any food

FREINDS: Call your parents Mr. Mrs. and grandma and grandpa

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents MOM and DAD, GRAMPS AND GRANDMA

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying, "DAMN that was fun."

FRIENDS: Never seen you cry

BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell anyone else you cry...just laugh about it when you're not down anymore

FRIENDS: Ask you to write down you number

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff and gives it back a few days later

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography about your life

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that's what everyone else is doing

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd asses that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door

BEST FRIENDS: Would walk right in and say, "I'M HOME!"

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell

FRIENDS: Are through high school/college (drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away when they think you've had enough

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say, "Dude drink the rest of that you know we don't waste."

FRIENDS: Will ignore this

BEST FRIENDS: Will repost

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murder chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. Lucillia

Twenty Questions

1: Is it an animal? No. But it still need to be approached with caution.

2: Is it a mineral? No.

3: Is it a vegetable? Yes.

4: Is it smart? No.

5: Is it bigger than a breadbox? Sometimes.

6: Is it found in the forest? Yes.

7: Is it Furyfur? Definitely not. Nor is it M or any other friend that hates it.

8: Is it awesome? Never.

9: Is it hard to find? No.

10: Does it have purple hair? No, they usually have unnatural red hair.

11: Is it a hobo? Yes but no.

12: Are they dipheads? Oh yes.

13: Do they have bad taste? Yes.

14: Is it obvious that they've never read/watched anything good in their life? Yes.

15: Are they aware of how clueless they are? No.

16: Do other people know that they're looking at idiots when they walk by? No, because they're usually camouflaged, unless it's on their t-shirts.

17: Do they notice really obvious mistakes? No.

18: Will they ever get boyfriends/girlfriends? Boyfriends, no. Girlfriends, possibly but obviously they're not interested.

19: Do they think that all hot guys sparkle, they just use a lot of sunscreen so you can't see it during the day? I wouldn't know.

20: Is your word "Twilight fans?" Correctamundo!

--Copy and paste above on your profile if you hate Twilight fans.

20 Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "In."

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks write, "for smuggling diamonds."

7. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuations.

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is, "To go."

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme?

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.

17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream, "I won!, I won!"

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!"

19. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

20. And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity... copy and paste this into your profile!

You know you live in 2011 when:

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave

2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don’t have a screen name or my space

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to your friends

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5, only to see that there is indeed no number 5

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly

12.) Copy and paste this into your profile if you fell for it, you know you did!

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile.

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile.

Love vs. Sex

A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit
some friends one
evening
and time passed quickly as each shared
their
various experiences of the past year.

She ended up staying longer than
planned,
and
had to walk home alone. She wasn't
afraid
because it was a small town and she lived
only
a
few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm
trees,
Diane asked God to keep her safe from
harm
and
danger.

When she reached the alley, which was a
short
cut to her house, she decided to take it.

However, halfway down the alley she
noticed
a
man standing at the end as though he
were
waiting
for her.

She became uneasy and began to pray,
asking
for
God's protection.

Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness
and
security wrapped round her, she felt as
though
someone was walking with her.

When she reached the end of the alley,
she
walked right past the man and arrived
home
safely.

The following day, she read in the
newspaper
that
a young girl had been raped in the same
alley
just
twenty minutes after she had been there.

Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and
the
fact
that it could have been her, she began to
weep.

Thanking the Lord for her safety and to
help
this
young woman, she decided to go to the
police
station.

She felt she could recognize the man, so
she
told
them her story.

The police asked her if she would be
willing to
look
at a lineup to see if she could identify
him.

She agreed and immediately pointed out
the
man
she had seen in the alley the night
before.

When the man was told he had been
identified,
he
immediately broke down and confessed.

The officer thanked Diane for her bravery
and
asked if there was anything they could do
for
her.

She asked if they would ask the man one
question.

Diane was curious as to why he had not
attacked
her.

When the policeman asked him, he
answered, "Because she wasn't alone.
She
had
two tall men walking on either side of
her."

Amazingly, whether you believe or not,
you're
never alone. Did you know that 98 of
teenagers
will not stand up for God?

Repost this as Love vs. Sex if you truly
believe
in
God..

PS: God is always there in your heart and loves you no matter what... and if you stand up for him he will
stand up for you.
I bet 93 of you people that read this won't repost

25) If you want to run over your school with a tank, copy this into your profile and add your name to the list. Vampires Bane- (i'd be like: DIE SCHOOOOOOLLLL!!)crysteelia (i'd have an evil laughing fit)DigiDestined of Balance (I’d make sure my enemies were in it first evil grin) Jingo4754 (i would just smile as i ran over everything ) kagedoragon (maniacal laughter!) Darktail Kitsune 360-(I'd make sure my friends and teachers that I like are out the i would have an insane laughing moment as i destroyed the school.)

48) If you get a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this to your profile. (BOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!)

36) I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it." --Unknown

26) If YOU think that you are mentally insane, copy and paste THIS into your profile

33) "When all else fails blow it up."

40) "The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable." --Unknown

47) "If you can't laugh at yourself make fun of other people"

32) "You cry I cry,You laugh I laugh,You jump off a cliff I laugh harder

30) "Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door,"- Unknown

22) If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

21) If you have ever wondered what the afterlife is like, copy this into your profile.

12) If you have ever run into a wall or other stationary objects, copy this to your profile.

Chuck Norris Facts

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face. Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men. The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons. Coincidentally, the autopsy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face. There is only one King.

Chuck Norris knows where Carmen Sandiego is.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Chuck Norris' evil twin brother, Richard Simmons, once approached Chuck with the hope of reconciliation, but at the sight of Richard's curly, well kept hair, Chuck Norris became so enraged that he turned green with hate and ripped Richard Simmons arms and legs off. This action was the origin of the Marvel Comic badass, The Incredible Hulk.

Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard”. Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris.

Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a KFC.

Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker’s real father.

After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. It was more "humane".

The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. there were no survivors and the pilot episode tape has been burned.

Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Chuck Norris's warm-up exercises.

Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.

A picture is worth a thousand words. A Chuck Norris is worth 1 billion words.

When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.

Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"

When Ranma Saotome killed the Phoenix God King Saffron, Chuck Norris, being a half a world away, looked up in pride, smiled and said “that’s my boy!”

Chuck Norris has a Chance in Hell.

Originally the Joker was Chuck’s arch-foe, but one roundhouse kick later, his skin turned white, his hair green and he headed for Gotham.

You really want to know how Joker got those scars? Chuck roundhouse kicked him in the face.

The reason why Outworld hadn’t went for their tenth win against Earth realm is because Raiden threatened to get Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can defeat Darkside’s optic blasts with a roundhouse kick. (There os a pic of this on Deviantart.com)

Chuck got Sparda, Dante’s father, out of hell.

Master Chief is Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris was sent ten thousand years to the past, met and married a goddess who in turn gave him a daughter. We know the child as: Sailor Moon.

Chuck doesn’t wash his dishes, they get clean out of fear.

Here are the wrestlers in 'Wrestling Heroes' if you have any suggestions about any character, IM me.

Girl: Slow down!

Guy: No this is fun!

Girl: No it's not! Please, it's way to scary!

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you. Now slow down.

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gave him a big hug.

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself? It's bothering me.

In the newspaper, the next day, a motorcycle crashed into a building because of break failure.

Two people were on it and only one survived.

The truth was, that half way down the road the guy realized his breaks were out and he didn't want the girl to know.

Instead, he had her hug him and tell him she loved him one last time. Then he had her put his helmet on so she would live even if it meant he would die.

If you would do the same for the person you love, copy and paste this into your profile.

A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him.
The white man said, "Coloured people are not allowed here."
The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:
"When I was born I was black,"
"When I grew up I was black,"
"When I'm sick I'm black,"
"When I go in the sun I'm black,"
"When I'm cold I'm black,"
"When I die I'll be black."
"But you sir..."
"When you're born you're pink,"
"When you grow up you're white,"
"When you're sick, you're green,"
"When you go in the sun you turn red,"
"When you're cold you turn blue,"
"And when you die you turn purple."
"And yet you have the nerve to call me coloured"
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Copy this onto your site and help stop racism!

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile!

If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, IwuvMyKenshyPoo, Heidiplease, iNsOmNiAc BiLlIe JoE lOvEr, Black Panther Warrior, Mina the Mischevious, SnowNeko, Pink Hi-Lighter, pointy star, Bruce n' Charlie, Death By Squishy, xXKillorbeKilledXx, Lady Luv of the East,Darktail Kitsune 360

If you're addicted to anime,copy & paste this into your profile.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile

If you believe that preps travel in packs then place this on your profile.

If you think Masashi Kishimoto is ruining Naruto and agree, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. The Fifth Rider of Armageddon, Hiroshima Namikaze, Zaara the black, desuta, Reikson, D-reaper X-20, blackstardragon624, chinoodin, The Silver Blossom, RasenganFin, Raidentensho, Knives91, Kingkakashi, DarkSamuraiX1999, THE HEE-HO KING, Wirespeed91, Naruto 21, GraityTheWizard, GuyverZero, durwin, Hakkyou no Yami, VFSNAKE, Stormrunner56,sakouya,Lady Luv of the East,Darktail Kitsune 360

If you are odd and proud of it put this on your profile.

SPLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! If you are really random put this on your profile.

If your friends are WEIRD (or even weirder than you.)put this on your profile.

Who Am I?

I am the boy...that doesn't go to school dances, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the boy that people look through when I say something. I am the boy that spends most of his free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the boy that people call weird, and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the boy that doesn't spend all his time on MySpace, or talking about cars, girls or sex to his firends. I am the boy that hasn't been asked out in a year...or ever. I am the boy that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and slash in the rain.

But I am also the boy who knows and is proud to be who he is, doesn't care if people call him weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who can express himself better with words, and knows the importance of the little things.

Copy and paste this to your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the people who are different and unique can know in their weakest times that they are unique, but not alone.The First Kitsukage, Dragon of Time,Darktail Kitsune 360

Anti NaruSaku rant(from KingKakashi)

First of all: WHY DO YOU THINK THAT SAKURA AND KUSHINA ARE ALIKE!

Sakura cried when kids made fun of her. Kushina beat them.

Sakura was good at school. Kushina wasn't.

Sakura was fawning for Sasuke at the beginning. Kushina thought that Minato was girly.

Naruto got Kushina's personality. Does Sakura have the same personality as Naruto? NO.

Now let's compare Kushina with another girl...

Who was kidnapped by Kumo? Kushina and Hinata.

Who aspires to be more like Naruto, who is practically a male Kushina? Hinata.

Kushina loves Naruto? YES. Hinata loves Naruto? YES.

Who would give her life for Naruto? Hinata and Kushina already did.

Who said to Naruto that she loved him and meant it? Hinata and Kushina, Sakura's words were fake and Naruto knew it.

Who vows to never give up his/her word? Naruto and Hinata and because we know that Kushina is like Naruto, her too.

All of these facts are taken directly from the manga nobody can deny them. Just expose them to all those delusional NaruSaku fans.

This is really sweet...

When a girl is quiet, a million things are running through her mind.

When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with her eyes full of question, she is wondering how long you will be around.

When a girl answers "I'm fine." after a few seconds, she is not fine at all.

When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying.

When a girl rests her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be her's forever.

When a girl wants to see you everday, she wants to be pampered.

When a girl says "I love you." she means it.

When a girl says "I miss you." nobody could miss you more than that.

Life only comes around once, so make sure you spend it with the right person.

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, and calls you back when you hang up on him.

The guy who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,

Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.

The one who holds your hand in front of his friends and is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you there for him.

The one who turns to his friends and declares "That's her.".

If you read this, you have to repost it, guy or girl, or you will have bad luck for the rest of your life.

If you repost this, in five minutes your true love will call or message you.

Tonight at midnight, they will realize that they love you.

Something good will happen at approximately 1:42 pm tomorrow, and it could happen anywhere.

So get ready for the biggest shock of your life.

If you don't repost this, you will be cursed with relationship problems for all of eternity.

Repost this to your profile, and spare yourself the emotional stress.

If you have ever lied to get out of something and then kept up said lie for months/years despite the fact that the time for any sort of repercussions for your actions passed quite a while back then paste this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have forgotten what you were going to say right before you say it, copy and paste this in your profile.

"Dear humanity, we regret being alien bastards, we regret coming to earth and we most definitely regret the corps blowing up our raggerdy ass fleet!"-Sgt.Johnson, Halo 2

HATE PEOPLE WHO ARE DIFFERENT? CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING:

It's the same story everyday: A girl in dark colors gets off the worst bus you can imagine, you know, the one with all the dumber-than-dirt country kids who are swearing every five words, listening to a punk rock/gothic rock/heavy metal/or any other dark music. She shuts off the cd player/MP3/ipod and walks into the school. You and your friends are standing inside because you're too wussy to stand outside in LATE MAY in you pretty new Capri pants and new Hollister t-shirt.

You point at her and whisper to your friends about how out-of-touch she is because she's dressed in a baggy hooded sweatshirt and frayed old jeans and she's maintaining a 3.785-4.0 GPA on a 4.0 scale while you're borderline failing. You loudly insult her and talk to her in an obnoxious voice. She just keeps her head down and shuffles right by.

You laugh loudly and say, "How could you have gotten that one wrong? Even a fifth grader knows that!" when she answers a question wrong in class. You and friends push her around in the hallways and trip her in the stairwells. You think she should start drooling over the boys at school and should wear the same clothes you do.

And yet, no matter what you do, she doesn't say anything.

Isn't it hilarious that she can be quiet all week, but still have to put up with more shit than the whore giving out free blowjobs on the bus? ISN'T IT FUNNY that you don't mind fucking a random guy every night, but you go around ripping on her just because she studies in the library every night? Isn't it just bloody fucking hilarious that she needs to sign a pass to the bathroom just to run into an empty classroom to cry at least once a week?

Are you laughing yet?

HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED WHAT HER LIFE IS LIKE?

HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU GO UP TO HER FACE AND TRASH HER GOOD NAME, CALLING HER A 'FREAKY GOTH WANNABE' OR A 'WEEPY-WASHY ATTENTION SEEKER', AND NOT ONCE STOP AT ALL TO CONSIDER WHY YOU NEVER SEE HER PARENTS AROUND, OR WHY SHE ALWAYS WEARS LONG SLEEVES, EVEN IN THE SUMMER?

HOW IN GOD'S GOOD NAME CAN YOU TREAT HER LIKE SHIT JUST BECAUSE SHE IS THE ONE PERSON YOU CAN NEVER BE: HERSELF UNTO HERSELF?

THERE'S A FINE LINE BETWEEN BEING AN IDIOT AND BEING BRAVE.

BEING BRAVE IS NOT GIVING RANDOM GUYS A BLOW JOB IN BROAD DAYLIGHT. IT IS NOT FUCKING SOME RANDOM GUY ON FRIDAY NIGHT JUST TO SAY YOU FUCKED HIM. BEING BRAVE ISN'T TALKING TO SOME GUY OR DUMPING YOUR CURRENT BOYFRIEND.

BEING BRAVE IS TURNING THE OTHER CHEEK WHEN PEOPLE SLAP YOU. IT'S FORGETTING THE INSULTS AND REMEMBERING THE COMMENTS. TRUE BRAVERY IS GOING TO A SCHOOL WHERE YOU SHOULD FEEL SAFE AND INSTEAD, YOU FEEL LIKE YOU'RE MARCHING RIGHT INTO HELL. TRUE BRAVERY IS BEING TRUE TO THE ONE PERSON, THE ONLY PERSON, WHO MATTERS: YOU.

KEEP LAUGHING, YOU COCK-SUCKING BITCHES, CAUSE I'M GOING FAR AND YOU'RE HARDLY MOVING.

If this rings a bell, or a whole chorus of 'em, copy and paste this into your profile. This is, in short, the story of my life.

Murphy’s Laws Of Combat Operations

Friendly fire – isn’t.

Recoilless rifles – aren’t.

Suppressive fires – won’t.

You are not Superman; Marines and fighter pilots take note.

A sucking chest wound is Nature’s way of telling you to slow down.

If it’s stupid but it works, it isn’t stupid.

Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste
a bullet on you.

If at first you don’t succeed, call in an airstrike.

The enemy attacks on two ocasions: when he’s ready and when your not

If you are forward of your position, your artillery will fall short

All 5 second grenade fuses burn down in 3 seconds

Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.

Never go to bed with anyone crazier than yourself.

When your attack is going really well, its an ambush

Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.

If your attack is going really well, it’s an ambush.

The enemy diversion you’re ignoring is their main attack.

The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions: when they’re ready. & when
you’re not.

No OPLAN ever survives initial contact.

There is no such thing as a perfect plan.

Five second fuzes always burn three seconds.

There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole.

A retreating enemy is probably just falling back and regrouping.

The important things are always simple; the simple are always hard.

The easy way is always mined.

Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.

Don’t look conspicuous; it draws fire. For this reason, it is not at all uncommon
for aircraft carriers to be known as bomb magnets.

Never draw fire; it irritates everyone around you.

If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in the combat zone.

When you have secured the area, make sure the enemy knows it too.

Incoming fire has the right of way.

No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.

No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat.

If the enemy is within range, so are you.

The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.

Things which must be shipped together as a set, aren’t.

Things that must work together, can’t be carried to the field that way.

Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support.

Radar tends to fail at night and in bad weather, and especially during both.

Anything you do can get you killed, including nothing.

Make it too tough for the enemy to get in, and you won’t be able to get out.

Tracers work both ways.

If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will get more than
your fair share of objectives to take.

When both sides are convinced they’re about to lose, they’re both right.

Professional soldiers are predictable; the world is full of dangerous amateurs.

Military Intelligence is a contradiction.

Fortify your front; you’ll get your rear shot up.

Weather ain’t neutral.

If you can’t remember, the Claymore is pointed towards you.

Air defense motto: shoot ‘em down; sort ‘em out on the ground.

‘Flies high, it dies; low and slow, it’ll go.

The Cavalry doesn’t always come to the rescue.

Napalm is an area support weapon.

Mines are equal opportunity weapons.

B-52s are the ultimate close support weapon.

Sniper’s motto: reach out and touch someone.

Killing for peace is like screwing for virginity.

The one item you need is always in short supply.

Interchangeable parts aren’t.

It’s not the one with your name on it; it’s the one addressed “to whom
it may concern” you’ve got to think about.

When in doubt, empty your magazine.

The side with the simplest uniforms wins.

Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps.

If you can keep your head while those around you are losing theirs, you may
have misjudged the situation.

If two things are required to make something work, they will never be shipped
together.

Anything you do can get you shot, including nothing.

Whenever you lose contact with the enemy, look behind you.

The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.

The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.

If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap.

There is nothing more satisfying than having someone take a shot at you, and
miss.

If your sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.

You’ll only remember your hand grenades when the sound is too close to use them.

Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.

Well .. It could be worse: It could be raining .. and we could be out in it.

So he said, “Cheer up: it could be worse!” So we cheered up. And it
got worse.

The side with the simplest uniform wins…

The spare batteries for the PRC-whatever your troops have been carrying are
either nearly dead or for the wrong radio.

The ping you heard was the antenna snapping off at 6 inches above the flexmount,
while a fire mission was being called in on a battalion of hostiles who know
your position.

Why is it the CO sticks his head in your radio hooch to see if anything has
come down from DIV when you are listening to the VOA broadcasting the baseball
games?

How come you are on one frequency when everyone else is on another?

Why does your 500-watt VRC-26 (real old) not make it across 200 miles while
a ham with 50 watts on the same MARS frequency can be heard from Stateside?

Know why short RTOs have long whips on their radios? So someone can find them
when they step in deep water.

The enemy “Alway’s” times his attack, to the second you drop your pant’s in
the Latrine!!

The ammo you new “NOW”!! is on the “Next” airdrop!!

The enemy inevitably attacks on two occasions: when they’re ready and when you’re
not.

Field experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.

If your ambush is properly set the enemy won’t walk into it.

The only time you have too much fuel loaded is when your aircraft is on fire.

Phillip’s Law:

Four-wheel-drive just means getting stuck in more inaccessible places.

Weatherwax’s Postulate:

The degree to which you overreact to information will be in inverse proportion
to its accuracy.

Least Credible Sentences:

1. The check is in the mail.

2. The trucks will be on the drop zone.

3. Of course I’ll respect you in the morning.

4. I’m from the government and I’m here to help you.

Brintnall’s Second Law:

If you receive two contradictory orders, obey them both.

Pavlu’s Rules for Economy in Decision Papers:

1. Refute the last established recommendation.

2. Add yours.

3. Pass the paper on.

Oliver’s Law:

Experience is something you don’t get until after you need it.

Lackland’s Laws:

1. Never be first.

2. Never be last.

3. Never volunteer for anything.

Napier’s Corollary

If all else fails hide.

Rune’s Rule:

If you don’t care where you are, you ain’t lost.

Law of Supply (also known as the Law of Gifts):

You get the most of what you need the least.

Hane’s Law:

There is no limit to how bad things can get.

Rules of a Gunfight

Avoid them like the plague

Be aware of what is going on around you by staying in condition yellow.

Have a plan or two. (If not, a “Last Will & Testament will do.)
Corollary: No plan survives contact with the enemy.

Bring at least one gun (don’t bring a knife).

Bring the biggest gun you can handle.

Bring friends (as friendly witnesses or fire support).*

Let close air support or artillery soften-up the target for you.

Make use of available cover.

Remember the difference between concealment and cover.

Don’t get shot (Use cover to your advantage).

Place your shots well.

Pay attention to where your shots fall.

“Speed’s fine, but accuracy is final.”

Don’t miss. (You can’t miss fast enough to win.)

Rules of drawing

If you’re the bad guy, draw & shoot first.

If you’re the good guy, draw second and shoot first.

Never turn your back on an armed bad guy, even if he’s down.

Rules of wounds

A “sucking chest wound” is nature’s way of telling you to slow down.

If you’re bleeding to death, say something witty.

If you’re actually dying, say something deep.

Never assume your opponent is out of ammo.

Bring lots of ammo.

In combat, you will be scared. You will have a tendency to shoot high.
Be aware of this and aim low.

Rules of quitting

Don’t quit just because you’re hit; GET EVEN!

Never quit, period.

There is no prize for second place.

There’s no such thing as “unfair advantage.”

He who lives to run away will live to run another day (the best strategy
is being somewhere else).

It is better to give than receive (Just like Christmas).

Professionals are predictable, it’s the amateurs that are dangerous.

Anything you do can get you shot, including nothing.

If your opponents didn’t have the courtesy to “Count Off!” before beginning,
assume that there’s one more somewhere.

When the cops pull up, think fast and move slow.

Say nothing afterwards but the Seven Magic Words: “I’d like to speak with
my attorney.”

Distribute press releases indicating you target belongs to a cult.*

Drop the one with the shotgun first.

Afterward, alter evidence to favor your position and plan for perjury.*

Use cutesy green-and-purple colored weapons and ammo so the press won’t
show any video of your non-evil-looking equipment. Fuzzy rifle-wrap works
best.

Insist on at least $50K from tabloid TV producers.

"To leave a message wait for the tone"

"I know how to leave a god damn message"

"When you have finished recording hang up or just press pound for more options"

"Really? Hang up? I was just going to keep talking until he checked his voice mail!"

"For delivery options press 5"

"JUST GIVE ME THE DAMN BEEP!"

"To leave a call back number press 8, to page this person press 6"

"CMON"

"To repeat this message press 9"

"I will fucking stab you computer phone lady!"

"To mark this message as urgent press 11"

"There is no 11 you FUCKING WHORE!"

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.
I’m the girl who’s scared of talking to my parents and have them find out I’m bisexual for then to hate me.

Re-post this if you believe discrimation is wrong. Please do your part to end it