Hello ho ho!

You don't need to know anything about me, so here is some random shit. Woo!

Those first two guys who thought Superman was a bird or a plane...why the hell did they get so excited?

"My head hurts!"

"That's because your brain is trying to comprehend your own stupidity."

1. Grab the nearest book.

2. Go to page 19.

3. The 7th sentence defines you entire existence.

Mine was: "Well, we don't need to wrestle this one,"

Whenever someone calls me ugly, I get super sad and hug them because I know life is really tough for the visually impaired.

"Knock, Knock,"

"Who's there?"

"Chuck Norris,"

"Come right in,"

I might not be somebodies first choice, but I am a great choice. I may not be rich, but I am valuale. I don't pretend to be someone I'm not, because I am good at being me. I might not be proud of things I've done in the past, but I am proud of who I am today. I may not be perfect but I don't need to be. Take me as I am or watch me walk away.

Friends are a lot like trees when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

^(^_^)^ Parents are gone! I can do what ever I want!

(0_0) I can say dirty words.

(O.O) Wiener!!!

That snorlas you just called fat? Yeah, its eating rare candies by the DOZENS for you to accept it. That Gastly you just called ugly? Its been trying to learn a new move to replace its Mean Look. That Slowpoke you justed tripped? He has a learning disability that makes him Legally Retarded. See that Hitmonchan with the scars? He fought in Vietman for your freedoms today. Help save a pokemon. Visit a Pokecenter.

I just broke my record for most consecutive days lived...

s(O.O)z FUK YEA!

Think of a number. Add 10. Subtract 2. Divide by 2. Add 20. Did you get 12?

Neither did I.

Off is the general direction in which I wish you would fuck. t(-_-t)

Me: What was that noise?

Friend (In the bathroom): My shirt fell.

Me: It sounded a lot heavier.

Friend: I was in it.

One day, the boy touched the girls hand. The next day, the girl touched the boys hand.

What a touching story.